Have I mentioned that I’m 56? And way past menopause? And that I still love to eat like I’m 15? That said, if we pro-age ladies (I read this somewhere) want to stay at our fighting weight, we need to eagle-eye our daily habits.
Back in the day I’d ricochet from overeating to starving. Back and forth I’d go. I remember thinking, “I don’t do drugs, alcohol or cigs – I’m mostly healthy.”
(Never mind that that my jeans were so tight I couldn’t breath.)
In my mid-30s I’d had it (some call it hitting bottom) and finally leapt off the roller-coaster for good. And so began my long road of learning to live — I prefer the word thrive — in a culture saturated in calories.
Here’s what took me years to figure out.
How I Changed a Really Annoying Food Habit.
In his amazing book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, Charles Duhigg writes about how important habits are to our brain.
Turns out, our brains are so efficient that they love to turn as many of our daily activities into habits so that it can relax. Our brains want everything running on automatic.
Duhigg explains that first we experience a cue, then we engage in the behavior (the routine) and then we get the reward.
Allow me to explain the most annoying habit that I’ve struggled with for years; it goes like this:
The cue: After dinner (i.e. time of day).
The routine: I want something chocolatey or sugary.
The reward: I get to eat something seriously tasty.
Now, let’s say I want to tinker with the above behavior and disrupt it.
The cue: After dinner (still time of day).
I ask myself what does the mass sugary calories really provide? My brain answers that after a long day it feels wonderful to chill while eating absentmindedly. After dinner, I just want to zone with Netflix and a lot of chocolate.
How I disrupt this annoying behavior: I get up from the dinner table and grab a prepared half apple, cut strawberries or banana from the kitchen. After my small fruit dessert, I further disrupt my routine by going upstairs, brushing my teeth and chilling with a good book (a really good book, not an eh book).
Heading upstairs gets me away from The Scarfer’s chocolate stash. And brushing my teeth provides the minty taste that makes food taste funny. Best of all, a great book allows me to kick back. Which is really what I need: time to chill.
Yes, I’ll miss spending evenings with my kids, but as I work to ingrain this habit (a solid 66 days to embed it) and the chocolate urge has passed, I’m more relaxed, and can rejoin my family (or keep reading).
Our Brains’ Preference.
Turns out, our brains don’t differentiate between good and bad habits. You want to walk the dog daily? Or eat more carrots? Our brains’ default is to turn every daily activity into habits. Just use “the cue,” “the behavior” and the “reward” for new habits.
Habits + time and you can keep yourself at any weight you feel best at.
I would love to hear: what new habit will you instill in your life?
♥, Wendy
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7 Comments
Wendy,
What a fun post on how our brains think about good or bad habits.
My new habit for 2021 is to write twice a week (three is a goal, but it might be unrealistic)
Back to writing!
Robin
Thank you Robin! If writing more is your goal, order The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. You will be amazed at what a great book it us,
Wendy
Thanks Robin!
To write more, read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. You will write more.
Wendy
Building a strong base of habits takes time and baby steps, and as you proved, it can be done. It’s the choices we make and not the will power we need. I love those examples of your day.
Thank you Heike! You said it: baby steps. Well said.
Wendy
Hi Wendy!
I really like the thought processes here! I am the type that likes something sweet before bed too!
Sometimes I will make a cup of tea with honey. I also like how you changed about your morning routine, as the first was similar to me. The second sounds more productive and relaxing !
thanks for these ideas!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
Thank you back Jess! Your blog is beautiful: ElegantlyDressedandStylish.com.Your taste in clothes is off the chart!!
Wendy