Vintage honeymoons of old seem quaint by modern standards. Back in the day, two young people – say a Laura and Rob Petri type — had a sweet chapel wedding followed by a cake and punch reception in the family’s backyard. At some point during the reception, the beaming couple would appear in travel clothes and – under a shower of rice — would drive off tin cans rattling from behind to a honeymoon destination.
Until Jackie Kennedy and JFK married thereby turning up the volume on fancy weddings across the globe.
But that’s another story.
The Honeymoon & Losing After 50.
You and I are pros at losing weight. We begin a new smart eating plan and proudly commit for two weeks, two months, maybe even two years.
But then one day we realize that our smart eating plan repeatedly forgets to flush, never vacuums, and thinks dining out means Papa John’s.
The honeymoon has left the building.
And when the honeymoon wears off our smart eating plan, we stumble, slip, and fall head first into months and months of overeating. Until we’re horribly uncomfortable in our clothes and a high school reunion looms on our horizon, and we’re ready to commit. Again. This time, we tell ourselves, will be different.
But the cycle repeats.
Skirt the Honeymoon Dilemma.
The beginning of any amazing journey begins with the honeymoon stage. It’s totally normal; part of being human. You’re in the honeymoon when you hold your newborn; score your forever home; or buy the car you’ve always wanted.
A smart eating plan’s honeymoon is no different. In the beginning the weight is coming off at a good clip and anyway we love chopping up bags of veggies every Sunday for the week to come. We talk to anyone who’ll listen about our new plan (we’ve never slept better!!). And we wonder why we didn’t start this better way of eating years and years ago?
But when our spectacular friend, the honeymoon, wanes we assume something has gone wrong. That we should always feel that chopping vegetables every Sunday is so fun. Or that we sleep just fine and a bowl of vanilla mixed with strawberry jam (I was out of chocolate syrup) before bed sounds perfect. That — in fact — the ease of the honeymoon period should be with us 365 days a year. For, like, ever.
Otherwise something must be faulty at the core. This losing after 50 thing is going way too slowly anyhow. It’s not even working. Nobody loses and maintains after menopause. Why did I get my hopes up?!
But here’s the deal: honeymoons end. Newborns turn teenager, the house needs a new roof and the car is just the thing you use to get from A to B.
Navigating Reality 101.
The reality-moon is now on deck.
Have you heard of the messy middle? It’s a term used in tandem with business projects that begin beautifully only to hit the maddening obstacles of the messy middle.
Knowing that the honeymoon period fades as the messy middle arrives puts you in the captain’s chair. You now have the knowledge you need to prepare smart strategies for managing the many whack-a-mole moments that are a normal part of a smart eating lifestyle.
Journal-Writing Gems.
Can you take one more plug for journal-writing? Free-writing about our smart eating issues produces remarkable wisdom from our own brains. Write and write and write with plans to show nobody. You’ll be stunned at what flows onto the page.
Journal about these prompts.
- From past experience, I know I’m in the honeymoon period because I . . . (give at least five answers).
- It won’t be so jarring when the honeymoon period ends if I know . . .
- When my smart eating plan and I hit the messy middle, that’s when I began to . . .
- I’d better tolerate the messy middle if I’d . . .
- I can make peace with the messy middle by . . .
- If I learn to navigate the messy middle I’ll learn . . .
- Three times in my life when I’ve handled the messy middle beautifully is . . .
- Here’s how I can apply these successful moments to my smart eating messy middle . . .
If more ideas and thoughts come to you, run with it.
Romancing the End.
Given that there’s a beginning and middle stage of weight loss, I can hear you wondering whether an end is in sight.
From my humble experience, yes and no.
Yes, because after a decade of embedding amazing smart eating habits into the cells of my being, eating well has become – I don’t love this word – easier. (Not easy. Easier.) No matter what’s happening in my life – broken foot, irritable teens, a car accident – I maintain my smart eating habits.
But no, because losing after 50 with the goal of maintaining forever means daily vigilance around my smart eating habits. Obstacles abound in our food-porn world. People push: eat, it’s your birthday! Eat, it’s 4th of July! Eat, life is short!
Which is exactly the point. Life is short. And you and I get to decide the size of our bodies — not the on-steroids food industry.
Wish me happy birthday. As Samantha once said on SATC, “I’m fifty — ‘effn — seven!” (She was 45, but you get the idea.) In my brain, however, I’m still 22. If I’m really honest: 12.
Have a wonderful end to your July!
And remember it’s not just your imagination, health is hard.
♥, Wendy
P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
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29 Comments
What show was SATC?
Sorry, I just found you today and I’m not sure who that “Samantha” is.
I was skinny all my life and now, post-menopausal, I have lost 12 and have about 40 more to go.
Speaking of Oprah, I was on with a former student 26 years ago (an episode called “Tribute to Teachers”) and, even after having three children, I was still a rail. To add to my misery, the OWN network decided to release our interview a few months ago. : /
This losing weight stuff is as hard now as it was for me to try and gain years ago.
And?? I just had that “big” reunion. Didn’t matter. Couldn’t get the weight off.
I need to follow you. I need all the help l can get!
SATC: is shorthand for BLANK and the City starring Sarah Jessica Parker. 🙂
I feel for those who grew up thin and were thin all their lives until menopause. I had no personal experience with it myself, but I lived with a thin sister. Like you, Shelley also was slim even after kids. But it’s the menopause thing. Such fun.
My first suggestion is to sign up for the Aunt Bea article that I wrote. Without Aunt Bea the site won’t make much sense. You’ll find it on my home page with the pink button under the three photos.
Losing after meno is absolutely do-able, but it takes real shifts in our thinking.
Let me know what you think about Aunt Bea! 🙂
I think journaling would be beneficial to me: for my eating habits, spending habits and well as gratefulness..
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
Yes! That’s me too! I’ve been using all of these mental tricks on dealing with money (and with cleaning the house too).
Love your blog and your hair style! 🙂
Wendy
This was a fun post to read and I love how you nailed it! I can relate to so much. With both of my pregnancies I gained over 60 pounds and had such a hard time losing it. After the second I joined WW and long story short, I ended up working for them for 15 years. I can remember telling my members to dissect the message of “it’s your birthday, treat yourself” and other comments like that. Did we really want to believe that the best way to treat ourselves was to sidetrack our weight loss attempts? Were we really saying, it’ your birthday, you deserve to gain weight and feel badly about it!
It is all such a mind game, isn’t it?
xo,
Kellyann
Did you see that I’ve been using WW’s original point system since ’97. I still use the little slider rulers they gave from back then! lol. Your point about the birthday cake is excellent. I totally agree!!
Love this post!! I do morning pages when I journal. It’s stream of consciousness writing like you talked about. So good! I’m glad I found your blog. Will be back!
I love your blog too! Stream of consciousness writing really delivers. I wish I’d started long ago. 🙂
Hi Wendy
Love the analogy! So true, the newness makes you start off like a house on fire, but later the excitement wanes. I eat according to a Gastroperesis plan ( I’ve had Gastroperesis for 20 yrs)as to not have GI problems, so a bit different, but I do love the Journaling aspect too!
I have been using my blog as a sort of journal to chronical my weight loss/maintenance because it can be such a struggle at times! It’s crazy how many holidays and birthdays and eat occasions crop up where everyone just expects to put their “diet” on hold. I have learned the hard way– all my life! — that I can not do that.
You and me both! It was a Weight Watchers leader that pointed out to our group that there was something to “celebrate” multiple times in a week!
Wendy
Wendy, fabulous and funny post. You left a very kind message on my latest blog post about my own fitness journey (and noted that we use the same theme) so I decided to pop over and take a look at yours. You are my new weight loss guru!!! I’m going to gobble up every morsel and tidbit of advice you are offering (they’re calorie-free, right?).
Rena
http://www.finewhateverblog.com
Oh, Rena, I was so bummed to read that you live in SoCal. You definitely don’t live in Atlanta then! Losing after 50 is so do-able. It’s a brain-shift thing rather than eat ABC, and never eat XYZ thing. I’m so glad we’re following each other!
Wendy
The messy middle!! Oh, yes, it is a tricky bit, and I agree, journaling is a way to get at the core of the matter. Thank you for the journal prompts!! Great post, and Happy Birthday!!
Thank you!! Funny, I thought I’d be WAY more mature at 57. It doesn’t feel much different than 37!
Wendy
Love journaling. It such a great way to figure things out and get to the truth!
Kim
You said it. ♥
W.
Love your tongue-in-cheek style of writing!
Thank you so much for saying so! That really means a lot.
W.
Such a fab and funny post, Wendy. Is there any one of us who can’t relate? Motivating, too. I needed to read this and I’m so glad I did!
I’m so glad you’re here! Your blog is beautiful, I especially love the huge photo in the beginning. You’re probably tired of hearing this, but I’d love to live where you live!
W.
You know how much I love your posts, and this one was just as great! Thanks for the reminders, the tips, and the pep talk! I love it here!
I love having you here, Barbara! I think your traveling teacup is a brilliant idea. The photos are so gorgeous at mantelandtable.com.
W.
Such a great post, Wendy! I often wonder why it is so difficult to stay on the healthy eating habits. I do feel so much better when my food is clean. But then I fall back into the sweets and carbs trap…because it is all so delicious! And then the regret comes in the form of feeling crappy. Thanks for sharing your journey and helpful hints for losing and maintaining weight in midlife!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Thank you Shelbee!! ♥♥♥
Did you get the Aunt Bea post? Everything in it is what I used to lose in the first place and then to maintain.
Thank you for linking up with Ageless Style today so I could find you!! Enjoyed this article. I was anorexic in high school and college so my honeymoon and other journeys with weight loss are long lived. Have found healthy success with Weight Watchers. Trying to lose about 7 or 8 pounds now using WW and a more inspired exercise program. Appreciate your tips and insight.
Wow, Leslie. You should be proud. Overcoming anorexia is no little thing. ♥ I’m glad you like WW. I never push one eating plan over another, but WW is what I used from the beginning in ’97 to today.
Did you get the Aunt Bea article? It focuses only on changing our thinking about food.
So glad you wrote!
Wendy
Very nice post, lots of information and 100% relatable!
Thank you Irene!