Pearl # 1
You and I evolved to be part of a pack. We’re not meant to be loners, and those of us who are, aren’t doing well.
With that in mind, how are we supposed to embed smart eating habits into our lives when the pack eats a gazillion calories a day?
Great question.
If someone sees that you plan your meals in advance, or watches as you order a small dinner, members of the pack might say, “Oh, you’re on one of your diets” or that it’s “unhealthy to make such a big deal about food.”
But when you’re living from an internal locus, it doesn’t bother you because you alone make the decision about what and much and at what time you eat.
Take last week. It was late afternoon and I was “eating before I eat.” My husband and son – who’ve both lived with me for awhile now — ganged up and said, “We’re having dinner in 45 minutes, can’t you wait?”
I said, “If I show up at the dinner table super hungry, I’ll overeat.” Duh.
You’re the Boss of You.
For success on this trek of losing after 50, it’s necessary that you get comfortable standing up for yourself when everyone has an opinion on how and what you eat. When they make comments, say thanks for caring and change the subject. I’ve also used, “losing weight has made my back feel so much better.” (Which is true.)
One more example, say you’re driving home from a family outing, and — out of the blue — everyone wants ice cream. You think, that does sound good and pull into Brusters.
But here’s the thing: you hadn’t been thinking about ice cream at all. You’d been thinking about something else entirely. Because the family had ice cream on the brain, you end up eating ice cream with them.
Feeling like we’re out of the pack triggers one thing; our survival cave-woman brain. The best way to get back into the pack? Pizza and beer with friends on Friday!
It takes time and patience to build the confidence-muscle when you’re establishing new eating habits. Your confidence-muscle is likely a baby now, but gets stronger the more you use it. One day the confidence-muscle will have your back when you tell a friend at Starbucks, “thank you but I don’t want a chocolate cookie Frappuccino. Just coffee with almond milk which will go perfectly with my purse-snack.”
Eventually the food police among us will become bored with your new-normal and will start bugging someone else, or get back to their own lives. ♥
Pearl #2
Is food fuel or fun for you? Back in the day, food was one hundred percent fun for me. To be fair it was probably more like 85 percent. But then I lost the weight and gained solid habits along the way.
Today fifteen years into maintenance, I’ve flipped those percentages. Now I eat for fuel (fruits, veggies, brown rice etc.) ninety percent of the time and keep it to about ten percent “fun food.”
In our culture there are too many reasons to eat poorly: he graduated, she had a baby, he found a job, she got into her college of choice. Then there’s the holidays, anniversaries and so on.
If we’re being honest with ourselves we can always come up with a reason to eat fun food. These days I can easily tell when I’m eating for fuel, or having the occasional treat. ♥
Pearl 3
Last night I had a fleeting thought of, gee, more food before bed sure sounds good. (I wasn’t actually hungry-hungry, I was more sugar-hungry.)
But then I told myself: you’re having lunch with your son tomorrow. You can have something special then.
And with that, I went to bed perfectly happy.
Learning supportive self-talk is key to making smarter food choices. ♥
Pearl # 4
The Self-Sabotage Department. This is what I heard this week, you’re too old to (insert project).
Mainly, by simply calling out the saboteur and giving her a name, her power dissipates. Yet sometimes I think there might be a kernel of truth in her point, so in those cases I give more thought to what she’s bugging me about.
First, I sleep on it. The saboteur delivers her most damage right before bed. The next day, I write in my journal, and work to separate the critical saboteur voice from my “hey this needs your attention” voice.
The holidays are just a moment away and this is my time of year to overdo it: over-bake, over-buy presents, over-decorate and so forth. Traditionally the saboteur voice is like a slow drum beat in my head: it’s not enough, it’s not enough, it’s not enough.
So instead of indulging in my usual overdoing, this year I’ll journal about my tendency to go big, and work to separate the saboteur from an appropriate participation t in the holiday season. ♥
Pearl # 5
“Don’t practice until you get it right. Practice until you can’t get it wrong.” — Unknown ♥
A request: Will you share a food or recipe that you love that combines the healthy with the fun (from Pearl Two). Comment below and I’ll pull the ideas together for a future blog post.
Happy October 1 everybody!
♥, Wendy
P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
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16 Comments
I am getting ready to go on a vacation where socializing and meals will be mixed. Any suggestions from previous blog posts that will help? I am maintaining my 58 pound weight loss, four months in. Taking my scale along on the vacation, because that works for me. Looking forward to having good seafood, but no deserts and I know I do nto have to clean my plate. Very glad I found your blog. Michele #strongerthanthecookie
First, congratulations! That no easy thing you did. You should be seriously proud.
Funny thing, I’m a travel writer and before Covid of course went on trips. I had to figure out strategies to not overeat. There was no way around it.
I’d like to write more about smart eating while traveling. Would it be okay if I send you an email? 🙂
Hi Wendy,
I can relate to this post, especially the “well-meaning” family/friends either pushing food or drink. I don’t happen to drink. I was at a company party once when my boss was getting everyone drink refills. He asked what I wanted. I said water “water!!!” “Get it yourself!” Wow. Or out eating and pass on dessert and that becomes an issue to some people. Why? I once said if I didn’t like pickles you wouldn’t push pickles on me, so why dessert? My take is people don’t like to indulge alone.
For a dessert I like to mix a snack cup of Jello sugar free (don’t care for fat free) vanilla pudding with either a half cup of diced strawberries or 1/2 cup drained mandarin oranges (Dole packed in their own juice. I find both refreshing. Margie in CA
Get it yourself?? Major “wow.” LOVE your pickles comment. I think you’re right, most of us don’t want to have dessert. And I’m your dessert this weekend. I love sugar free pudding too and I’m trying it with the mandarins. Looking forward to strawberry season!! 🙂
I don’t know if I have a healthy holiday meal dish or treat to share. I did discover that I really like Broccolini from an experience at a restaurant. It was quite flavorful and if I could figure out how to make it like they did, I’d eat it daily.
Awesome tip! I’m going to search for broccolin1 recipes.
I’m always looking for ways to eat more broccoli!
Thank you. ♥
Wendy another perfectly timed post from the master!! I have a fabulous dessert * make that is “clean” in almost every way! I actually did a post about it if you want the recipe. Just search for chocolate tart. I’m actually making it tonight to take to a friend’s for dinner. Bringing the dessert is a great way to stem the sugar tide!
Thanks again for a mountain of inspiration!
Great pearls! Thanks for sharing at My Big Fat Menopausal Life’s Share the Wealth Party! Have a great week.
As always, such great tips.
You are so nice!
Thank you!
W.
I really want to work on that independent no-nonsense mindset!
Once you’re firm re: food, the people around you put up a little fuss, but then finally just get used to it.
W.
Great tips #alittlebitofeverything@_karendennis
Thank you Karen and thank you for your link party!!
W.
Wonderfully written and dead-on right. I have finally “begun.” I have lost 23 pounds now – slowly to keep it off- I gained it slowly – and just trying hard to re-think food as fun. Not entertaining for 1.5 years now with Covid concerns (I was a dinner party and tea party diva most of my life) and I swear that is why I am losing.
I went to a place called Cake Bake or Cake Walk – forget now – and it was AWESOME. Their food was incredible. I was with all my tea friends and the ONLY one who didn’t get a famous cake to finish. It made everyone completely uneasy. But I cannot justify getting it when I am trying so hard to get healthy again. I did discuss it with them to let them know I will be around for many more fun excursions by getting my blood sugar down and keeping it down. I think that let them know I love them and would LOVE to eat those famous huge incredibly amazing desserts – but I just can’t. I am trying hard to fall out of love with food and- as you are – making it about fuel. And choosing better fuel. I am learning. I am trying. And for the first time in a very long time I am seeing some results. It is really exciting.
Love your article, thank you. Stay well. Wishing you all of life’s best.
What a story!! And awesome that you “stayed the path.” Losing 23 is significant. You’re changing your habits.
I love how you say, “falling out of love” with food. Great way to put it!
W.