Narcissism & You: How it Impacts Losing After 50

Denim card holder & photo by Melissa at MemoriesByQueenBee

I’ve tried to write this post at least twice, but stopped worried that you might take this pearl the wrong way.

Here goes.

For starters, I’m not saying that you and I have a narcissist personality disorder (for short: called NPD).

Not at all.

Someone with an NPD diagnosis has a complete lack of empathy for others, is very self-involved, maintains only transactional relationships, and all of this fun permeates every tiny corner of his or her life. Meaning it’s not like someone with NPD is only monstrous at home to be sweetheart in the office.

That is not how NPD works.

Okay, now that’s off my chest, we can return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Everyone has pockets of narcissism.

An example. Long before kids, I volunteered with animal rescue groups. I raised money, fostered and so forth. If I saw a scared dog running down the street, I’d stop and help the love bug out. (I even kept a leash in the car for such a four-legged situation.)

Over the years I fostered more and more animals. Raised more and more money. Kept several fosters. And – of course – eventually burned out.

And there you have an example of my “pocket of narcissism.”

Narcissistic pockets are like when you:

• Think, “of course I can lose weight even if my family wants the cupboards packed with three different kinds of chips and a freezer bulging with ice cream. (At least in the first two or three years you need a “clean” kitchen. Family junk food eaters can hide stuff in top cupboards.)
• Stay up into the wee hours reading (thinking, “I’ll be fine in the morning”, when you’re inevitably zonked).
• Tell your friend. “Sure, I can sit with your elderly mother every Friday afternoon” (when you’d planned on keeping Fridays for a little down time. You think, “It’ll be fine, I can hang out with Norah).

You get the idea.

So how do pockets of narcissism play out in our losing-after-50 lives?

Well we’re deep into the pocket of narcissism when we get disgusted with ourselves for not losing “fast enough”, for not being “better” at losing, or even for not being able to fit into our favorite jeans.

You know how fish don’t know they’re in water? Noticing your own pockets of narcissism is initially like that. You’ve been playing the (exhausted) hero your entire adult life. At this point it just seems normal. ♥

Pearl Two

How do we know when we’re in a narcissistic pocket?

We’re in one when:

• We’re particularly critical of ourselves.
• Think we can take on way more than the average person.
• Notice that certain things we really care about aren’t happening.

How to Manage Our Pocket.

Managing our pocket will never be “one and done.” Knowing to stay on the lookout for our pockets is what straps us into the pilot’s seat.

Your Takeaway.

So, how to move forward with this new info? For starters:

• Ease up on the self-criticism. I mean, really turn down the volume. Journal-write about where the critical voice came from in the first place.
• Look at your “to-do” list and create a “to-don’t list.”
• Take steps towards talking to yourself in an understanding and supportive way. Ask yourself how thinking, I’m such an idiot actually works for you?
• Don’t expect yourself to lose weight throughout the coming holidays. In my mind, maintaining by January 1 is a diamond-studded win. ♥

Pearl Three

The Self-Sabotage Department. Where my great ideas go to die. I have a fab-habit of calendaring my tasks: not just appointments, but workouts, bathroom cleaning and so on.

This week I noticed that I’ve gotten looser and goosier with my calendar habit.

Beginning today I’m calendaring everything: workouts, daily food, sleep: all planned on the calendar.

Join me.

Pearl Four

I was awesome at eating a large daily salad. Then I went on a mostly liquid diet to calm down my TMJ. The TMJ was helped, but my great salad-habit careened off the road.

My plan forevermore: one bowl of salad a day. Here’s what I put together:

• First I put a half-teaspoon of olive oil and balsamic vinegar into a large bowl.
• Then I add two or three handfuls of Spring Mix leafy salad (or Sweet Kale from Costco.)
• Cut in half five or six black olives.
• Toss in baby carrots.
• Add chopped cucumber and chopped baby tomatoes.
• Put a half-teaspoon of olive oil onto the top along with balsamic vinegar.
• Add pepper.
• Then I sprinkle a bit of feta cheese over it all.

Serious yum. ♥

Pearl Five

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

–Vincent Van Gogh ♥

If you’ve found this post helpful, please share with a friend or loved one. Very appreciated. Advertising budget is zero.

We’re just two weeks before Daylight Saving Time ends when we “fall back” an hour. I used to dislike this time-change thing so much because it got dark crazy early on the kids, but now I’m using it to my advantage. I plan to stay on my current sleep schedule but I’ll wake up at 6 a.m. while my body will still thinks it’s 7 a.m. (I need a quiet house, and this is my best chance.) 🙂

Stay well.

Hugs to you and yours,

♥, Wendy

p.s. Are you brand new to the Inspired Eater? Thank you for visiting!! I highly recommend reading the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find her to the right on this page under my short bio.). My posts won’t make a ton of sense if you haven’t first read Aunt Bea.

Some links may be affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases. Of course you incur no additional cost.