How an Innocent Bag of M&Ms will likely Save Your Marriage & My Go-To Summer Dinner

One of my favorite parts of summer.

Photo by ShengGeng Lin on Unsplash

Hello Thrivers!

If you’re brand new to The Inspired Eater welcome!

If you haven’t yet read Aunt Bea you’ll find her to your right on this screen under my short bio. This blog won’t make a lot of sense without a thorough reading of Aunt Bea. If she doesn’t soon land in your email, she might have gone to spam. But if she doesn’t show up at all just email me at Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Pearl One

The thing about great vacations is that they come to an end, sometimes in more ways than one.

So, there my husband and I were on the longish drive back to our home outside of Atlanta from our beach vacay.  

I should tell you, I’m not great with six hour car rides.

Bored and annoyed I announced at the first rest stop, “I need peanut M&Ms” and headed for the vending machines. (Yes, while giving the finger to my smart eating plan.)

My husband said, “No. I have a ton of treats in the car. There’s plenty.”

So, for that reason, I figured it was fine if I ate not one, but two crumb cakes.

At the second rest stop I mentioned eating a crumb cake and that’s when my husband put up his two fingers as in, two. You ate two crumb cakes.

At that, I hit the roof.

And we were off to the races squabbling about one stupid thing after another.

Many days later I began to see why I’d gotten so livid.

Turns out, my body might be 57-years-old and and leaner than I’d ever dreamed, but my brain is still a pudgy 8-year-old who endured awful comments about her body and weight from every avenue of life.

By the third grade, I’d learned that eating in front of people brought not-good attention.

That evening on the drive home, I wasn’t an adult with great eating habits, I was a chunky 8-year-old who assumed my husband was calling me a fatso.

This is a good time to tell you that the day before our drive home, my husband made a trip to the grocery store, but before he left asked for a food list for the ride. I gave him my usual apples, carrots and a healthy sandwich list. (Note to self: a bit of something fun to eat on a long car ride is cheaper than marriage counseling.)

Here’s the thing, I might be going on 17 years of maintaining a 55 lb. weight loss, but my brain hasn’t fully caught up with my body.

Our human brains are the most complex on the planet, and we can be triggered back to 1972 in a nano.

Takeaway

Remember that there’s a powerful reason to lose weight slowly. Our brains need time to recognize the new geographical layout.

One of the smartest changes to healthy eating we can make is to learn to welcome plateaus. They give our brains time to catch up with our bodies.

But also keep close to your heart that if there’s been trauma around food and weight, we might be lean and mean into our 90s, we’ll still occasionally knee-jerk react when someone in our lives is p***ed we ate his crumb cakes.

But at 96 years old?  Tell him you had three. ♥

Pearl Two

This is a fun way to lose/maintain after 50.

Take notes.

What do I mean? Literally take notes on a day-to-day basis about how you’re making it happen. Write about the many micro-decisions involved in losing after 50. Write notes about the wonderful, the totally annoying and the really reliable. Include inspirational books you’ve read, cooking shows you’ve stopped watching, more sleep you’re getting; write about everything.

Keeping these notes isn’t like journal-writing. Plan to one-day share how you lost/maintain after 50. As you go through your day of smart eating, document everything with the long-game being that you’ll share this valuable intell with the coming generation (who will – trust me – applaud you for not leaving them to reinvent the wheel). ♥

Pearl Three

Our July topic is habits: how to develop an amazing habit, how to dump a bad one.

I learned the most about how valuable cues are to forming a habit from James Clear’s book Atomic Habits. If you haven’t yet read this life-changing book, order it now, I’ll wait.

Cues. We use them continually through our days. You know how a flute of champagne today reminds you of a spectacular resort weekend from decades back where you had an incredible glass of champagne; how Realtors suggest you bake cookies before showing your home; or how holding a newborn takes you to the first time you held your precious baby?

The taste of champagne, the aroma of cookies and the feel of cradling a baby are all cues, and they’re so ingrained in our psyches that we don’t even think twice about them.

But instead of cues “just happening” to us unconsciously – I never knew why I was scared of German shepherds until my mom reminded me that I’d been chased as a kid – the habit-experts are urging us to use them on a super “on purpose” level.

Watch the Gems Spill Forth

Take a few to journal-write about the habits you’d love to establish in your life. (I deeply believe that journal-writing is the best and most inexpensive form of therapy I know.)

Ask yourself which habits you’d like to establish. Then write about why you want to establish this habit. Get super granular about your “why.” Finally, add a list of cues that will bring your habit to life.

My cues to establish a Pilates class habit: really cute workout clothes displayed on my bed pre-workout, the date of my Pilates class noted in pink on my calendar, and a specific scent that I use in the morning only the days of my class.

Let’s share cues. What cues on you using to develop your new habit? ♥

Pearl Four

You know how I believe that eating a tiny dinner will produce massive results? (Because it totally does.) Well, summer is the best season for giving the teensy dinner plan a go.

Here’s my summer go-to dinner:

I make a smallish salad with spring mix, petite carrots, baby tomatoes, and cucumber. I layer it in one teaspoon of olive oil – a healthy fat that I need, enough said — and as much balsamic vinegar that I want (Costco’s from Italy is OMG). And if I don’t have spring mix I make a salad out of whatever veggies I have in the fridge.

With the salad I’ll eat a medium sized ear of corn (85 calories, two grams of fiber, and 1.4 grams of fat). The trick being that I don’t douse my ear in butter. I use a bit of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” and/or a light sprinkling of salt. (What you’ve heard is true: the more you eat veggies without the high-caloric butter and sauces, the tastier they become over time.)

And I have – my favorite fruit on the planet – watermelon. Et Voila! By 6:30 p.m. at the latest, I’m finished eating for the day. ♥

Pearl Five

Really successful people feel the same lack of motivation as everyone else.  The difference is that they still find a way to show up despite the feelings of boredom.” – James Clear, Atomic Habits ♥

If you’ve liked these Pearls, please feel free to share with friends and family.

I kayaked again last night. I have two classes each month through September. Very fun, very peaceful.

Make it a beautiful weekend, Thrivers!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

I’ve been asked if I could include something like Buy me a Coffee on the Inspired Eater. So if you feel up to sending a coffee, I am a devotee. You’ll find the coffee “button” to your right. And, as always, thank you so much for reading the Inspired Eater. ♥♥♥