How to Cope when All You Want to Do is Eat & My Aha Moment

Not me.

Pearl One

You and I share something in common: we eat because we’re emotionally not doing well. We might be really down, frantic, furious, or even indifferent (as in, I am so tired of such-and-such, I barely care anymore).

And that’s when we head for something that will dull our emotions a bit (in our case, means calories).

The other thing we have in common, is that you and I are smart. Of course we know that a second bowl of rocky road solves nothing.

Duh.

But today we’re not talking about our good, common sense. We’re talking about the part of our brain that uses food to soothe. In therapy-land, they call it the “inner child” which is okay, but I prefer “cave woman.” The cave woman is the primal part of our brain that’s in place to keep you and me alive. Mess with our survival too much, and in a nano she comes to the front to take charge of the perilous situation in which she finds us.

Take sky diving. Many love the adrenaline rush, but if I were to go up in a plane with a parachute? My cave woman would be screaming, you are so dumb! You’re trying to fling us out of an airplane?!

When we’re in cave woman-mode, we have a strong tendency to “eat our troubles away.” The cave woman is the part of our brain that reacts from a place of terror. If we could see the cave woman in real-time, we’d see her cowering in the corner dreading what might come next.

Our inner cave woman doesn’t “have the butterflies.” She has the Wicked Witch’s flying monkeys who are dive bombing her.

The cave woman also shows up for other intense emotions like boredom, grief, and fury.

 Her feelings are real, take them seriously. Food really does chillax her, at least for the moment.

The trick is to slowly – s l o w l y – create new, positive habits that calm down our poor cave girl; a habit that won’t also annihilate her waistline.

Get to know your cave woman-brain — and your prefrontal, common sense-brain too — by journal-writing the heck out of this topic. If you want writing prompts for getting to know your cave woman better, just email me at: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Having a cave woman is just part of being human. She’ll always be with us; learning how to calm her in ways that don’t involve food (or cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs) is our work of a lifetime.

Can someone actually turn off the food!! part of our brain when something goes wonky? It takes time to embed great habits, but a million times yes. ♥

Pearl Two

Today I’m sharing my three most favorite blog posts. And, if you have a favorite, I’d love to hear!

I believe – I know – that massive action is real. I think Tony Robbins coined the term, but I’d been using the method for years before I knew it had a name.

As long as we live in the realm of the reasonable (for example, I’ll never be a Russian ballerina), massive action isn’t woo-woo at all, it can uplevel our lives. Take a look:

How Massive Action Creates Serious Weight Loss

This is one of my favorite topics. There’s a school of therapy that focuses on past wounding and trauma. I’m paraphrasing but the idea is that as we deeply grieve the wound or trauma with a kind and astute therapist guiding our way, we’ll eventually stop using food, cigarettes, alcohol or drugs (not to mention all of the other things that humans can get addicted to).

But in my case, I spent many a year grieving, and it didn’t impact my weight in the least. In fact, during my “therapy decade” I just continued to gain until I was at my heaviest.

On the other hand, the following posts talk about the very bedrock on which my weight loss and maintenance rests.

The Therapy that Really Fueled my Weight Loss

I just love this following post. I use it’s main premise all the time.

Love, Love, Love this Metaphor for Sticking with Smart Eating

It would mean the world to me if you’d share which posts speak the most to you in the comment section below! I’d love to share the list in next week’s Pearls. ♥

Pearl Three

Our July topic is habits: how to develop an amazing habit, how to dump an annoying one.

This week I had my own aha-moment. Maybe everyone knows about this aha, but me.

Here goes.

I’ve noticed that when I’m trying to establish a new, positive gung-ho habit it takes me time to settle into the new “whatever” I’m trying to do.

I realized that I don’t adjust as quickly as the average bear. And I’ve always seen my tendency as a negative. For example, consider my new kayaking activity. On the first evening I kayaked, I thought, okay this is interesting, but it’s a long drive to get the lake. I wasn’t sure I’d rush back to kayaking. The second time I kayaked my friend couldn’t make it so I was on the water alone. Nothing dangerous, there were plenty of people around, but I didn’t have anyone to yak with.

But this week — being my third evening of kayaking — I had a blast. I felt very comfortable in the little boat itself. My friend was there too. During the paddle, I took off trying to find where our city’s river met with our kayaking lake; I also love watching the birds; and talking to the other kayakers. It was awesome.

I will be rushing back to kayaking. 🙂

Driving home I thought, hmm I need time to adjust before I feel comfortable in any new activity or venue or what-have-you. I know that some people need far less time than I do, while others need far more time before settling in.

Everyone adjusts at their own pace and that’s perfectly okay.

So that’s my kayaking takeaway: any time I’m trying something new – a recipe, a vacation B&B, a new software program – I need time to adjust. Rushing like I once did doesn’t help at all.

From now on, I’m aiming to try the new something while giving myself the time and space to adjust before I determine, I don’t like this, it’s just not me.  From now on I’ll say to myself, let’s give ourselves the luxury of time before we pass judgement one way or the other.

What about you? Do you have a full-on honeymoon with a new thing or do you need time to adjust? ♥

Pearl Four

As you know, I’m back in braces (well, Invisilign), and boring story, short: I’ve bitten my inner lip. To give it time to heal I’ve been drinking a lot of smoothies. Like, a lot, a lot of smoothies.

No, not my green smoothie. I’ve been making a strawberry or blueberry smoothie. And may I just say, yum!

I use four food items to make my smoothie wonderful:

Into the blender I throw:

• A cup or more of frozen strawberries (or blueberries).
• One frozen banana (half is fine if it’s all you’ve got, and room temp is fine too).
• ¼ cup of Kroger brand vanilla yogurt (or any yogurt you love).
• One to two cups of almond, oat or real low fat milk (again, your preference).
  • I really should throw a cup of spinach leaves in too (I’m getting there).

I whir it all up and shazam, I have one heck of a delicious smoothie. ♥

Pearl Five

Anyone can find dirt on themselves, be the one that finds the gold.” – Robert Frost ♥

This post — particularly Pearl One — is talking about the everyday angst of life. If you’re feeling a much deeper depression and/or anxiety, overcome a very natural feeling of reluctance and have a sit down with your GP or a therapist. And always keep in mind that finding the right therapist can mean interviewing several. It’s not easy job for anyone, but it’s well worth it if you need to talk something out.

I had 100 things to do this week, but I pushed myself to go kayaking — as I might have mentioned — and just ten seconds on the water, I was having a fantastic time.

Have a “push” weekend, Thrivers!!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!