Between Team Yum!! and Team Self-Control: who do you think will be the victor?
Hello my thriving friends!
At the risk of repeating myself, this is such a kind and sweet group of women.
You guys are a joy to write for. You seem to like what I write, and I love getting to know you and shining a spotlight on what’s real and up-to-date about losing after fifty.
Very win/win.
Keep telling me what most interests you. I try hard not to write “fluff” posts; you definitely influence what goes into this blog.
Let’s go!
Pearl One
It’s easy to point at our Amazon Prime culture as being the culprit behind our expecting life to be chop-chop “let’s move it, people”, but truth is: we’d been seeking the fountain of quick weight loss decades long before Door Dash, Uber and Fed Ex showed up in our lives.
Check out these seven fairy tales that our culture embraces as “fact.”
Myth 1: Working Out Works.
Every time I see a woman huffing and puffing down the sidewalk I want to stop the car, jump out and say, “You didn’t hear. Unless we’re training to be in the Navy SEALS we don’t lose weight chugging up and down the street.”
Remember how we once looked at spot reducing? That if we did 100 sit ups our tummy would flatten?
True, right?
Then somebody realized that if strong abs were surrounded by extra weight, the stronger ab muscles wouldn’t shine through the fat around our middle.
But please don’t get me wrong, so much wonder comes out of a regular workout.
For example the endorphins are almost a medication with no side effects, but a stronger heart (from cardio) and stronger muscles (from weight lifting) feel good too. And an active lifestyle is said to combat falling and breaking a bone, several cancers, diabetes, and heart problems. Not to mention helping us sleep better at night.
Plus, the more we work out the better time we’ll have when we traipse through Italy seeing her treasures, including being fit enough to play with grand kids or grand dog. And we’ve learned from Jack LaLanne and Jane Fonda’s example that strong healthy bodies can help us live to be very old, happy ages.
Get sweaty everyday for thirty to forty minutes.
Myth 2: Self-Control and Motivation Is Our Only Hope.
Way back when, I wouldn’t have understood it if someone had told me that motivation offers false hope and won’t help us lose weight. (I would’ve thought, “well, what else is there?!”)
But today having preserved my loss for seventeen years, I can tell you unequivocally that motivation plays no role in losing and maintaining after fifty.
Motivation is like Endora from Bewitched, it pops up when it feels like it and that’s no way to craft a life. The only way to lose and maintain is to develop ironclad habits.
If you find yourself hoping for self-control or motivation, dip back into Atomic Habits by James Clear to remember how vital habits are on our weight loss odyssey.
Myth 3: Calories In, Calories Out!
(Sad trombone.) We all know how dumb this one is.
Myth 4: After Menopause, There’s No Way.
Our culture has long trumpeted the idea that women “over a certain age” are simply out of luck if they’re hoping for a large loss after age fifty with a plan to maintain (preserve) the loss forever.
But here’s the deal, in these modern times you and I have smart eating tools and updated knowledge at our fingertips that our moms and grandmas never came close to having. It hurts my heart to think about how they approached weight loss, and how – while they might’ve pulled off ten or twenty pounds for a wedding or reunion – they had no idea how to preserve the loss for a lifetime.
Chuck the yesteryear playbook; we’re writing new rules to what women “of a certain age” can accomplish.
Myth 5: Losing Weight is Easy.
Years ago — when I had my “moment of clarity” (habits first, then scale) — and began to lose in earnest, I never once thought, “hey! Losing weight is a total cake-mix!”
And preserving the loss is no picnic either.
The magazine and social media headlines might scream, “Lose Weight ASAP on the Eat Cake and Ice Cream diet”, we know the truth behind the headlines because we’ve lived the truth: losing weight and preserving for the long run takes dedication and a super cool, modern toolbox to navigate our food-porn culture.
Myth 6: Losing Weight is Impossible.
It’s funny, but the group that tells us to lose forty pounds before a surgery can be scheduled, are the same peeps who can’t really tell us how to lose, and certainly don’t know anything about how to create a forever-loss.
Myth 7: Losing Weight Has a Beginning and an End Point.
If we’re being honest, we’ll admit that we once saw losing weight – or smart eating — as something “we did” such as, “I can’t wait to go off this diet so that I can have pizza too.”
Today we now know that losing weight and preserving for a lifetime is about what we are.
We no longer lose weight for the summer, and gain it all back by the end of December.
We’re older, wiser and too tired to go along with the “weight loss is linear” myth that hogged all the limelight in the last century.
Weaving smart, strong food habits into the very fiber of our being, and transforming who we are – and how we handle food — is the only way to a successful forever-loss. ♥
Pearl Two
Join me on any typical morning.
It’s 7:15 a.m. and the alarm goes off. (I’m shooting for 6:30 a.m.).
I feed my very mean kitty, and put food out for the birds and squirrels.
I eat my toast with butter and then head for my writing desk – I do my best writing in the morning — and about two hours later the idea of eating something pops into my head. Yes, I had a substantial breakfast. No, it’s not time for lunch. And, yes, I still find myself thinking, “something tasty right now sounds like an amazing idea.” At that, I glance at my laptop’s clock and see that it’s only 10:45 a.m.
Hmm. Now what?
At that, my prefrontal brain tells my cavewoman, “Noon, just wait until noon. You can do it. You’ll be fine.”
And I do and I am. ♥
Pearl Three
A different challenge each Friday in August
If you’re not already, our challenge this week is to track what you eat and how you count it (calories? points?) for every single meal. Sometime I’ll share the messy stack of notepads I’ve used to track through the years.
If you’re a pro at tracking your food, plan instead to boil five eggs to eat on the run this coming week when you’re slammed with errands and work (don’t forget a light sprinkle of salt for the tastiest egg). ♥
Pearl Four
Books love us and want us to be happy!
Quietly Hostile: Essays is Samantha Irby’s newest book out in 2023. I don’t know how she does it, but Irby somehow makes the symptoms of Crohn’s disease extremely funny. I mean, we’re over fifty and as we age we all have something, but Irby is just forty-three years old and has been dealing with the symptoms of Crohn’s for decades.
Irby’s books detail the many times the disease did a number on her, her depression, bad dates, good dates, lots of socks (good, bad, and disgusting socks), and about a million other embarrassing moments that she skillfully spins into humor. She spills it all and calls her writing, “connection through commiseration.” 🙂
And yes, I feel deeply understood after reading an Irby book. And P.S. one story gets seriously gross when she’s talking about urine. My thought: skip that part.)
Pearl Five
With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.”
Susan Weiss Berry
Have a great weekend everyone!
If you’ve enjoyed these Pearls it would be wonderful if you’d share with a loved one. Also, you can follow me on Facebook and Instagram. And — if you’d like to do a deeper dive into losing weight after age fifty — read the Inspired Eater: the Book. (I started calling it “the book” so it wouldn’t get confused with the blog.) Update: the book is now called the Inspired Eater: Fed Up!
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥
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2 Comments
*Standing Ovation*
A million times thank you for all of your help!