The Role Loneliness Plays In Our Devouring a Bowl of Ice Cream (maybe two)

There’s so many ways to embrace Valentine’s Day and have fun: table settings, door-decor, and clothes.

We have new people – and welcome!! – if you haven’t yet, I want to encourage you to first read “Begin Here” in the yellow ribbon at the top of this page. This site will make more sense if you also read Aunt Bea. If you haven’t received her I’m more than happy to send, please just shout: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Let’s begin today.

Pearl One

The studies tell us that we’re a lonely planet. Fair enough. It’s likely that we’ve upgraded our lives to such an extent that we’ve lost the plot.

In today’s world, it’s the norm that family (immediate and extended) are flung far and wide.

The advent of the car replaced the horse. The advent of the plane replaced the train. And the advent of IBM (I’ve been moved) type careers . . .replaced . . . the family?

Think of it, for millions of years, we’ve walked this planet in a tribe and later in a small village. We didn’t evolve to drive into the garage, magically click the garage door shut, and walk into our home never having seen a single neighbor (black and white to my grandparents experience.

I know I’m speaking to the choir, and maybe and overstating, but it’s possible that a lack of family and community connection has given birth to our addicted planet whether we’re talking about alcohol, drugs, nicotine and/or food.

I’m suggesting is this: for a day or a week, meta-watch yourself and notice how you engage or don’t engage, notice how you react to loneliness in your big picture, but also in your day-to-day.

This is a perfect time to pull out your journal and write about what you learned after meta-watching yourself deal with loneliness. Keep notes if you can.

Pen to paper, ask yourself these questions:

Am I lonely? Is the loneliness so pervasive that it just feels normal to me? Is my life turning out differently than what I’d planned? What is my inner-dialogue when I’m feeling lonely? What do I reach for ? Am I able to take a breath and meta-watch myself as I’m lonely? What do I reach for when I’m lonely When I realize that somebody else is lonely, what does that trigger in me?

When you write, keep an eye-out for unique ways that you can incorporate tinto your life. We can’t go back in time to sit around the fire with our tribe s’mores, but we can develop a better understanding of how our culture is wanting in the loneliness-department it’s not just on us. At the end when my poor dad moved f moved out of his forever home that would only be be six months of living in an assisted living place caring my for mom who has Alszheimers. I think he was lonely. I think the feeling of loneliness will be with us for our entire lives, it’s just part of being human.]

It’s a work of a lifetime to determine how to respond to the challenge. ♥

Pearl Two

Still thinking about loneliness. Remember talking about “sequencing?” Well I’ve decided to instead call it “the cycle” (kind of like The Cycle of Life). Update: I still call it “sequencing.”

And if anybody wants the two original two posts about the cycle and how it works, I’m happy to send it just let me know.

I’m taking a situation from my life years ago.

Default Sequence

• Situation (something super concrete): Fourth of July is coming up this weekend. (A “situation” is something concrete, yes, that’s a dog, yes, that’s a dishwasher, yet that’s my jacket).
• My thought: In my brain, the Fourth of July is meant for friends or family rafting on a inner tube down the river while trying not to get sunburned, and having a blast with friends. Later — again, in my mind — we’d BBQ in the backyard of a someone’s home, and then hang out at her pool all afternoon; once it got really dark, we’d watch fireworks light up the ebony-sky (in my fantasy we could see a beautiful show from the seats of her backyard. Finally, we’d return home happy-tired and slightly sunburned, we fall asleep easily. Thinking what a fantastic we just had.
• Feeling: Excluded, sad, and bummed about a holiday that would never include me.
• Action: sit in my studio apartment (which was super cool) with my two cats feeling left out.
• Result: I initiated nothing and nothing great happened for me over the holiday weekend.

I would love for you to create sequences on your own life; writing about something that’s bothering you currently is probably the way to go. You can write a sequence about something big like a cross-country move or smaller like you have ants in the house.

There’s a second piece to the sequences, but we’ll cover that next week. For now, write a sequence like mine below:

Situation

• Thought about situation.

• Feeling you have after your thought.

• Action you’ve taken b/c of feeling.

• Result of the action.

Try to write one cycle day. If you hit an obstacle, that’s a good thing; write in your journal and ask your unconscious to pour through your pen. Just start writing and the pen (our unconscious) will do the rest. ♥

Pearl Three

From today forward, I’ll keep Pearl 3 for something fun that I want to share

This week, I found the coolest cat “toy” that you can find and use immediately online for zero dollars. Max, my kitty, was sitting on my desk so I googled “cat games” and turned my laptop so the screen sits on the desk, (so upside down) and my cat watched and loves it. Now he shows up at my desk twice a day to see the bugs, butterflies, and string show.

Does it hurt the screen? Well, my specialized IT husband (aka The Scarfer) saw Max playing with the screen and he didn’t say a word (normally he’d have a heart attack). So I asked him, and he said it was fine. Believe me, if he thinks something bad is happening to the tech in our house, he practically writes a novel to my kids and me explaining Why We Shouldn’t Do Something.

So far, Max has patted at the bugs and string a few times. Once he sat on the screen trying to get a bug. I included a picture (a tablet would work even better). He really liked the fish. I think it gets frustrating for the kitty because they can’t really catch anything, so I always drag a string toy after the who.

If you’re a doggie-girl, tell your cat friends about the cat game. It’s adorable . ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy!

America for Beginners by Leah Franqui. This book is a gem. AM New York praises the author he when he says, “A funny, feel-good cross-country tale… exactly the kind of story that we could use right now — people of different backgrounds coming together and realizing that they are more similar than assumed.” — AM New Yorks

“A tender, funny, wrenching, beautifully executed tale of three lost souls who traverse the chasms of cultural, generational, and geographical divides to forge some bonds strong and true enough to withstand life’s gut punches.” — Library Journal (starred review).

Absolutely. What they said.

America for Beginners is a perfect cold winter reading inside book. Loved it. If you guys are trying these books, I’d love to hear your thoughts on them. ♥

Pearl Five

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”
– Malcolm S. Forbes ♥

Have a wonderful weekend indoors reading, in fact, tell me what you’re reading. I’m goaling myself to not eat any candy over Valentine’s Day (unless a kid gifts it to you; then you have eat and rave. Those are the rules.)

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

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I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥