Who Are You? The More You Know the More You’ll Lose & Maintain

Pearl One

Last week my husband came home from Costco with huge boxes of:

• Caramel s’mores (milk chocolate, caramel marshmallows and graham crackers)
• Girl Scout thin mints bites (“crispy center with mint and dark chocolate”)
• Girl Scout thin mint pretzels): crunchy pretzels double dipped in mint flavored 100-percent real dark chocolate.

So, you see my problem.

I know that many of you have a scarfer of your very own and want to learn how to lose after-age-50 and preserve forever even with a scarfer underfoot.

In the beginning of my weight loss and forever-preservation, I’d assumed that my scarfer would happily come along for the ride because he wanted to start eating better too. It would be so fun to do this “smart eating” thing together. I’d hoped we’d work together cheering each other on.

That was a massive fail.

So I headed out on my own trek. I did all the things like: ask him to hide the treats well so that they weren’t always in front of me, Eat Before I Eat, you know the basics.

But losing weight with a plan of forever means looking inside. The therapy world calls it “individuation” and knowing about it and working with it were pivotal to my own loss.

You know how teenage girls in cliques want to be like each other: “OMG! I have same purse!” Being part of a group is super important to teens.

As we mature, over time we individuate: we start identifying specifically who we are distinctly from mom and dad, sister, the kids in high school and so forth.

Individuation happens throughout our lives, but knowing about the idea and how to work with it are key to a successful loss.

Here’s what I mean.

Journal-write about what makes you you. Go for it! Write about what you love, and what you don’t care about. Write about what gets you really excited and what leaves you bored. Ask yourself questions like how do I talk to myself? Do I have my own back?  What happens inside if my feelings get hurt? What happens inside when I’m angry? When I’m bored? When I’m grieving?

What makes you distinct from your sister? Your coworkers? Your husband?

Just write and write and write and let your unconscious speak.

Being able to define who you are without your partner is a critical part of living with a scarfer.

Pearl Two

There’s no end game to losing and maintaining after 50. We have today, this hour, this minute to make our smart eating choices.

Because you and I will forever be beautiful works in progress.

I try to remember this thought throughout my day. Let’s remember it together. ♥

Pearl Three

It’s our new “sequence” pearl! Please send in your sequence to my email Wendy@theInspiredEater.com

Original Sequence

• Situation: (something concrete) Dad died last August in his sleep.
• Thought: What?! He wasn’t even sick! Now I won’t be able to say good-bye.
• Feeling:  Extremely sad.
• Action: Ice cream of course.
• Result: Try to get work done but give up and scroll Instagram.

My New Sequence

• Situation: (something concrete) Dad died last August in his sleep.
• Thought (that I’ve purposely chosen): Dad was in his own bed next to Mom, and died peacefully in his sleep. A beautiful way to pass.
• Feeling: I’m so happy for dad. (No endless hospital visits and medications etc.)
• Action: I return to what I’m doing in my own life.
• Result: I’m meeting deadlines, but we always grieve.

Do you see how the “new sequence” can go in about a billion different direction? Please send me your situations and I can sequence it and use as an example – totally anonymous of course!! ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

Holy-guacamole. I just read the best book. It’s scary, but in a good way. The author was an African safari guy for eons and tells many stories in an hilarious, next door neighbor kind of way. Every chapter has a very big story. The book starts off with a bang and ends beautifully. Highly, highly recommend. (Unless you’re one of my sons. If you are,  this is a terrible book, why not play in the sponge beds? That’s where I would play.)

Whatever You Do Don’t Run: True Tails of a Botswana Safari Guide by Peter Allison. I just realized that he wrote a sequel Don’t Look Behind You. I’m ordering it right now. (Excellent. Highly recommend.) ♥

Pearl Five

Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision. Visions don’t change, they are only refined. Plans rarely stay the same, and are scrapped or adjusted as needed. Be stubborn about the vision, but flexible with your plan. – John C. Maxwell ♥

I LOVE hearing from you guys!!!

Have a wonderful weekend All!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

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I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥