There’s incredible wisdom we can glean from our future selves.
Hi Everyone,
Two pearls are a blast from the past because I put a little too much on my plate. I always assume a project will be easier than it is. Tell me I’m not the only one.
Pearl One
In 2013 after a decade of progressing symptoms, Linda Ronstadt was diagnosed initially with Parkinson’s, and finally with progressive supranuclear palsy, a rare degenerative condition. She’s now mostly on the couch.
In an interview Linda was asked, “What advice can you give others dealing with such difficulty?”
Without hesitation she answered, “Acceptance. You have to practice radical acceptance.”
Smart Eating and Acceptance
Many of us past menopause struggle to accept our after-fifty bodies. Compared to when we were 16, 26, or 36, staying lean when we’re over 50 is an entirely new chapter in life. I’m mere months from turning sixty., but no matter how much weight I lose it appears as if I’ll always have a kangaroo pouch (a souvenir from my babies, although having a tummy might just be a part of the aging process whether we have kids or not.)
When I finally lost my weight (mid-30s to 42), I wouldn’t have known to use the word “acceptance,” but in retrospect that’s the mental process I ended up at.
I remember sitting in traffic one afternoon thinking, “I don’t care anymore whether I lose or not. If it’s the last thing I do, I will overhaul my eating habits. And what happens, happens.”
I stopped stepping on the scale every morning; I put it away and didn’t bring it with us on our big moves. Back then my mantra was: “it’s about smart eating habits, smart eating habits, smart eating habits.”
Saying “smart eating habits”, was like a drumbeat that rolled through my mind daily for many years. It’s yours now, wield its power wisely.
Before Acceptance
Before “acceptance” I used to come up with excuses galore.
Because no, the dryer didn’t shrink my jeans, my husband’s bad eating habits didn’t cause me to gain weight, and the holidays didn’t wreck my eating plan.
It was all on me. Acceptance means that I am in charge of what’s goes into mouth, period.
Before acceptance, my voice of denial said, “To begin with I don’t eat all that much, I don’t know why I have a potbelly. (Um, it was more like an extra-large-lasagna-pan of-belly, but whatever.)
Or, “I don’t eat that much, I wonder why I have bat wings like my third-grade teacher?”
Even, “It’s so unfair that I can’t have a couple of bowls of ice cream every evening like the rest of the world!!”
Ready for the Good News?
Our past doesn’t have the answers to accepting and navigating our smart eating lifestyle.
It’s our future-selves that have the wisdom.
Gems from Your Pen
I get it: communicating with our future-self for wisdom sounds odd, but you might be surprised at how incredibly help future-you is.
Ask future-you to write to today-you. It can be any “you” in your future: you in the summer, you in six months, even you in five years, grandma-you and so on. Allow future-you to come alive through the journaling process. Remind yourself that you’ll show this writing to nobody so it’s okay if you ramble, cry, or go off on tangents.
Merely thinking the answers to these prompts isn’t the same as writing out the answers. And, btw, that disdainful voice of negativity is your own self-sabotage voice talking. Ignore her. Tell the voice that you’re trying something new. Don’t allow that voice to take up square footage in your mind. She’s insidious and primed to annihilate what you’ve started, so always be on the lookout for her and send her packing.
I’m 59 so I wrote from my future 60-year-old self.
Write at least three responses to the following.
The “I” voice is future-you thanking past-you year for all you’ve done:
- Today I’m reaping the benefits for. . .
- Love, love, love that you put so much time into . . .
- The three best habits you developed for me are . . .
- Awesome that you overcame . . .
- Thrilled that you . . .
- You really internalized . . .
- Somehow you knew that I would need . . .
- Because now I really feel . . .
- It would be easier for me today if you’d . . .
- I would love it if you’d . . .
- What I want you to know is . . .
When you shift from past-thinking to future-thinking, you begin to open to the many opportunities that will support you as you up-level your Smart Eating Lifestyle. ♥
Pearl Two
Wish me luck; I’ll take heat for this one.
I was never a worker-outer. I’m Team Napper.
For those of us trying to lose, working out doesn’t actually work.
Hear me out.
Say you swim like Michael Phelps (most decorated Olympian with twenty-eight medals), then yes, your caloric intake won’t have a prayer against your energy output.
Turns out, Phelps famously ate 8,000 to 10,000 calories (!!!) a day in his prime and still found it challenging to get enough food.
That said, muggles like you and me don’t work out like Phelps. Most of us take yoga classes or bike three miles, five times a week, call it good, and head to the nearest fridge. Even a long day of snow skiing doesn’t require the amount of calories Phelps needed to bring home the gold.
How a Sweaty Workout Does Do a Body Good
Here’s what I finally figured out: Working out for reasons other than weight control is vital for a healthy body and state of mind especially when we’re on the other side of menopause. For example:
- Taking a long walk to get my sweet German shepherd his needed exercise: smart for me and River.
- Working out for endorphins to feel high without the side effects of drugs: brilliant.
- Getting sweaty to keep my heart fit and – hopefully – avoid the dementia that has long swept like wildfire throughout my family: again, brilliant.
But working out to help me lose weight?
No, never happened.
And scientists are just now catching on to what we’ve long suspected: lowering our food intake is really the only path to successful weight loss especially after age 50.
The Important Basics I Needed to Lose Fifty-Five
One
Committing to a great eating plan — I call it a structure — turned out to be critical for long-term success. I’ve used the Weight Watchers original point system since 1997, but there’s no particular magic to WW. Any healthy eating plan works if it makes the most sense for your life and if you can imagine using it.
Also vital: keep a pretty tracker with a pen next to your fridge to track what goes into your mouth daily. Studies are firm: those who document what they eat, are the most successful. And remember, “pretty” matters. No keeping track on old envelopes or the back of receipts. A spiral notebook is best. The spiral part makes it easier to record your eating. You also want to keep track so that you can go back in time and see what’s worked and what hasn’t worked.
Two
As I lost weight, I focused only on establishing rock star eating habits:
First I committed to my eating structure (WW) and only after my WW habits were solidly established did I create a strong habit of intermittent fasting for 14 to 16 hours each day. Specifically I stop eating by 6:30 p.m.
My thought: attempting to create too many habits at once is a recipe for failure. One fully installed positive habit is way better than five squishy habits.
Three
I used my favorite study to extinguish my evening sugar habit (what do you mean there’s no confetti?). The first two weeks were rough — no fib — but by week three, sugar was in my rear-view. Details on how I eliminated sugar here.
How long does it take to establish smart habits like tracking your daily intake? My favorite study out of England says that it takes us 66-days to establish a habit that becomes like second nature. (Published in 2009 in the European Journal of Social Psychology.)
Why I Did Not Do Hard Workouts while Losing
Other than long walks with my River (GSD), I didn’t add workouts to my day until I’d maintained my weight loss for years. Only then did I add yoga and Pilates, and finally stumbled onto my forever workout activity that I love (recumbent trike-riding). Updated on 8-28-22: I might know how to lose/maintain weight after 50, but I’m still a fawn on wobbly legs when it comes to working out. I’m learning that doing different types of working out is the best for mind and body.
Okay, I’m ready to take the heat for this post. Tell me what you think. Does working out help your weight loss or send you on the hunt for a hot fudge sundae? ♥
Pearl Three
It’s our new “sequence” pearl! Please send in you’re a sequence from your own life and we’ll to my email Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.
My Original Sequence
The situation: the deck outside of my kitchen is on its last legs. My
husband’s foot stepped on a board and created a hole. I invited four deck-
builders to see the deck and give me their estimate.
Thought: OMG, decks are expensive!
Feeling: Blue.
Action: I whine and complain about the cost involved.
Result: Family members are actively avoiding my Eeyore-attitude.
Now, the New Sequence
The situation: the deck outside of my kitchen is on its last legs. My husband’s
foot stepped on a
board and created a hole. I invited four deck- builders to see the deck and
give me their estimate.
Chosen Thought: We need a new deck and we have companies in our community
that can rebuild our deck in time for spring! I like having coffee on the deck.
If I’m really still the birds will come to the deck for food.
Feeling: Excited.
Action: Now I’m wondering when we’ll have the tear-down.
Result: Feeling a sense of satisfaction that one important “to-do” is off my
list.
Our th
Pearl Four
Pearl four is an amazing book recommendation; not a review, just an awesome book I want to share
At the beginning Such a Fun Age a debut novel by Kiley Reid had a chick lit vibe to it and I almost tossed it, but thankfully I didn’t.
A super absorbing story that you can read in a weekend. (I don’t want to write about it and accidentally give spoilers. I didn’t see the twists coming.)
Totally worth your time. ♥
Pearls Five
. “Every problem is a gift – without problems we would not grow.” – Tony Robbins ♥
I love writing about travel. Right now I’m knee-deep in San Francisco. Next it’s New York, Chicago, and Boston.
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
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I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥
