Enough Lame Advice: We Need to Know How to Be “Mindful” & How to “Use Positive Self-Talk”

Hi Everyone!

We have new people on board – welcome again! — and I’d love for us to be on the same page.

The ground floor must: choose an eating plan that you love and then marry it. Switching up how we eat every year or two isn’t a recipe for our success.

Second-must: begin to track your eating in a little notebook you leave by the fridge with a good pen. Studies back this tactic, and anecdotally I’d never give up on the magic of tracking what I eat. I even track when I’m traveling.

If you’re new, have you had the chance to read Begin Here? It should be very helpful.

Let’s go!

Pearl One

I’ve been reading diet books of late and I’m a little miffed. There’s a lot of advice like “eat mindfully” and “speak kindly to yourself”, but then never give a whisper about how to do any of it.

Now, you might think, “Wendy is just bragging because she was able to do it.” No, as you know, I think that getting smug is the first step into a downward spiral. I will never be smug about losing the weight and preserving the loss forever.

I’m angry because there’s a massive diet-empire out there that has long led us to buy their product “that works.”

Except the product doesn’t work.

And then they blame us! Their customers!

Here’s what the diet-cartel needs from you and me: desperation so great that we’ll buy their product hoping for a “cure” to our frustration. They care about our success to the point of how it’s affecting their bottom line. That’s why there are only weight loss companies and no weight maintenance companies. The more successful we are, the less money in their pocket. Slick operation they built for themselves. ♥

Pearl Two

Let me share the specifics on what I did – in real life – to eat more mindfully. I didn’t start to eat mindfully/intuitively until I was well into my eighteenth year of preserving my original loss. I probably went overboard and could have started sooner; my suggestion to you is wait until you’ve preserved your loss for ten years before you try going it alone.

How to speak kindly to yourself? The whole idea behind transforming your self-talk is to progress slowly so that you don’t want trigger your inner cavewoman. She wound merely snort,“How ridiculous!! This is idiotic!!”

Remember that your cavewoman is the part of our brain that only wants to protect us from the saber tooth tiger She wants us to stay in her pajamas, watching the Kardashians on Hulu eating a couple bowls of chocolate- mint ice cream.

It’s our prefrontal brain that’s the smart adult inside our brain. The prefrontal wants to prepare and plan and maybe take sensible risks.

So, proceed super slowly.

On a day when your prefrontal brain is fully in charge: tally up how many times you’re mean to yourself in one hour, on a drive to work, and later, for an entire day. You might think, “I can’t do anything right” or you might actually call yourself names. Just tally up what you’re telling yourself at any given point in time to determine how often you’re mean to you.

Journal-write to these questions (most inexpensive form of therapy on the planet.)

• Why do I say “I’m fat and ugly” and not “stupid”? (Why do you use one word over another?)
• Am I overly critical of myself? Of others?
• Do people in my family of origin beat themselves up internally (I could tell that my dad did)?
• What are three paths I could take to be more positive towards myself?

Here’s how to take yourself to a better place. Let’s say you begin with:

“I’m so stupid” turns into

“I can be stupid, but sometimes I’m not” into

“Hey, I’m a human, all humans make mistakes” into

“I’m not so bad” into

“I can do this; it just takes time.”

As you work with yourself to increase your positive self-talk, just know that you’ll revert and call yourself names and – without any drama — merely note it and consciously substitute something positive for the negative word. Remember, positive self-talk is a process that just improves over time if you stay with it. ♥

Pearl Three

Our Sequence Slot!

Old Sequence

Situation (something concrete): We have a leak that is driving our water bill up to $700 a month from $200. My husband has looked for the cause, but can’t find it. Time to call a plumber.

Thought: Just great!! We don’t even know a plumber let alone afford one.

Feeling: Annoyed, like there’s one more thing on my plate.

Action: Zippo.

Result: More anger.

New Sequence

Situation (something concrete): We have a really bad leak that is driving our water bill up to $700 a month from $200. My husband has looked for the cause, but can’t find it. Time to call a plumber.

Thought (consciously chosen).  I can do hard things. If this little leak ends up costing a lot to repair, we’ll make it work. Going in, I knew that houses require maintenance.

Feeling: Resigned. Calm.

Action: Put a post on Next Door to see if anyone could recommend a plumber. The neighbors did have recommendations and the plumber was at our house the next day.

Result: The plumbing gets fixed — yes, the bill was large –, but no more mystery, sky-high water bills!

Pearl Four

My summer goal is to read nothing but funny books. The funny I’m currently reading is David Sedaris’s, Calypso He is a prolific writer and you’ll find all of his here. Apparently I didn’t start in the “right” place. Start reading him at his beginning.:Let’s explore diabetes with owls. ♥

Pearl Five

Align your focus with the solution and not the problem.” ♥

Jim Rohn

A summer challenge: during June, July and August vow to laugh — hard — every single day with yourself, other people or your kitty. It’s a fun resolution. I did this one year for the entire year and still remember how fun it was!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥