We don’t have to be perfect to create a lifetime weight loss for ourselves.
Hello Thrivers,
I hope this post finds you well. Would you believe that I got sick again? I think that whatever I have now is in response to my Christmas-flu. I’m calling the GP in the morning. For now, these are former pearls that I updated.
Pearl One
First a caveat, I’m so thankful for the self-help world; I’ve benefited greatly.
I’ve spent the last five decades reading self-help books, listening to cassettes (lol) and to podcasts these days. And I love a good TED Talk.
But through the years, I took in a subtle message that I needed high self-esteem before I could create something of value like taking back our health (losing and maintaining after 50). I thought that I really had to have my act together to move onto a permanent weight loss.
And yet I’ve known people who’ve been insanely successful in their work lives, but had a drinking problem.
Turns out, we don’t have to be heads and shoulders above the average. We can feel so-so inside and still produce incredible results.
Here’s what happened for me.
Back when I initially got serious about renovating my eating habits (mid-30s), my self-talk was lousy; my confidence maybe a C+ depending on the moment; and, my courage? Well, I can see where you might say that I was being semi-courageous in a situation or two, but on the whole, I freak out when I’m supposedly “being courageous.” Still haven’t mastered that “staying serene in a crisis” thing.
And yet – even with iffy self-esteem — I lost the fifty-five pounds and have maintained the loss. And I didn’t have to be perfect to create a permanent loss for myself.
Our Takeaway
I love that we don’t need the confidence of Oprah, the emotional strength of Brene Brown, or the brains of Sara Blakely (Spanx) to create exiting lives for ourselves.
So, good news: we can be an emotional mess and still lose and maintain after age fifty! ♥
Pearl Two
Last week my techie husband and I were driving to a new locale. At one point the GPS stopped talking, and my hub said, “Give it a second, it’s trying to get a satellite connection.”
I responded in a princess voice, “But I want my satellite connection nnnnowwww.”
As a culture we’re a bunch of speed-freaks. We love a good ‘overnight success’ story. We want our cars fast, and the car’s a/c to be even faster. We don’t want to wait long in the drive-thru, or if we do we’re likely to pull out of line — in a huff — to find a shorter drive-thru wait.
We like our light ‘at the speed of’ and we all carry a small computer in our hand bag that allows us to talk with anyone, anywhere, anytime with a lightning fast connection.
So it comes as no surprise that when diet-headlines and diet books have long promised, “Lose Belly Fat in Ten Days” we’ve had a tendency to believe them.
But if we’re to get down to bare-bones reality: cool, awesome and spectacular don’t arrive with Amazon speed. Nobody learns piano or a foreign language with a few months of practice. We don’t create a successful business in twelve months. And we definitely won’t lose anywhere near what the headlines have long promised.
And that’s okay because wrapped into the ‘lose belly fat in 10 days” is the message from the company: you need weight loss to be easy, and we need your money. Their underlying message: if it’s not easy, you can’t do it. Seriously condescending.
Don’t be swayed by ‘easy.’ Keep your cash, expect losing after 50 to be hard, and get annoyed at those proclaiming losing after 50 is effortless.
Because inherent in my message: We’re smart, we’re resilient, and we’ve got this. ♥
Pearl Three
Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.
Original Sequence
- Situation (something very concrete): “The scale has only gone up.”
- Thought: “Oh, no. I thought this time would be different, that I would really keep my weight loss off. And – per usual – I’m not.”
- Feeling: Total anger, disappointment.
- Action: I spend the next week overeating.
- Result: The scale goes even higher, confirming that I can’t do this (maintain).
New Sequence
- Situation (something very concrete): “The scale has only gone up.”
- Thought: “Okay, instead of getting furious, I’m getting curious.”
- Feeling: Resolved.
- Action: I immediately head for my journal and begin writing. I ask myself what my habits are like? Am I still tracking? Have I given up evening desserting? Do I take a great book to bed? Do I still have the habit of seeing my eating life as “on a diet” or “off the diet?” If I’m still looking at eating as “being on” versus “being off”, how do I help myself let go of that old way of living with food? How do I help myself live on the Smart Eating Path? What do I start with first?
- Result: I’m back to strengthening my habits and immediately shop for smart food. ♥
Pearl Four
Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed is a phenomenal read. Absolute book-dessert.
Pearl Five
Successful people are successful for one simple reason: they think about failure differently.” — Seth Godin ♥
♥, Wendy
You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.
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I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
