A food-pusher in the wild.
Pearl One
I was recently watching a short reel on Instagram when a financial expert said, “When you have an ‘I’ve had it moment,’ you’re about ready to change your life. Changing your life is not an intellectual dance, or some kind of theoretical idea. You get sick and tired of being sick and tired. ‘I’ve had it.’ That’s when you change.”
This guy was talking about money, but the parallels to weight loss after age fifty were clear. You and I have to be absolutely done carrying more pounds than we’d like. There’s nothing wrong with preferring to change your relationship with food while the larger culture continues to overeat and eat inappropriately (donuts for lunch kind of thing).
I know that getting pushed to the brink of losing/preserving after fifty is infuriating. I get it, but feeling “fed up” is actually a powerful force inside of you. Let yourself be mad, but not at yourself. Take a food-look around our world. Our culture is drenched in food-porn (fast-food, XL portioned plates of restaurant-food, and grocery stores packed to the rafters in ultra-processed foods). We’re tempted at every turn: birthdays, holidays, it’s brunch on Sunday, out with friends for dinner on Wednesday, and the pressure to overeat (or eat inappropriately like eating ice cream for dinner) and the (b)eat goes on.
No, we can’t change our culture in the short-run, but we can take into account that we’re doing something difficult here. Losing weight in our current food-porn culture and then preserving for a lifetime-loss is no little thing. My point is to proceed keeping in mind all that you’re jugging on a day-to-day food basis.
For example, nobody says to a smoker who’s really trying to quit, “Oh, live a little! We’ll each have just one. It’ll be fun!” But those of us working hard on developing our smart eating habits hear this all the time.
When the Going Gets Tough
When I’m having difficult moments — like dealing with a food-pusher – I’ve learned to instantly bring up three pictures in my mind that inspire me to make good choices:
- That spring long ago when I put on jeans – to go to a yard sale — that were so tight I could barely breath. When I got home, I headed straight to my bedroom to peel the jeans off. Oh, what a relief to unsnap that snap.
- That photo of myself at my cousin’s wedding in the late 1990s.
- Those times when my scale is headed east and thinking, “Oh, hell no!” about never – ever — gaining the weight back (thank you Tim Ferris for this powerful sentence). In my mind, I worked too damn hard to lose fifty-five pounds in the first place and I’m not giving up my momentum now.
Great to write about in your journal: what images can I rely on to keep me in the game of weight loss after age fifty? Who are the food pushers in my life? What would the plan be to deal with each food-pusher? Do I “eat before I eat” when a food-pusher might tempt me?
Other Peeps
I also say to food-pushers, “I’m not eating a lot because my stomach is bothering me.” See? It’s not a lie: your stomach is likely bothering you on some level.
I’ve also heard other people say, “I had so much food at lunch that I need just a few bites for dinner.”
When I know I’m with a food-pusher, I pile my plate with a lot of healthy food (and, of course, I always “eat before I eat”).
When a friend says, “You’ve got to try the dessert I made for the party, it’s like crack on a spoon” and it’s just plain rude to refuse a taste, go ahead, take a bite and then move on to people who aren’t insisting you eat food-porn. (This is an advanced skill. If one bite will trigger you into an eating marathon then go with “your stomach’s bothering you” response.)
Learning how to manage food-pushers is nothing more than learning a new skill as we lose and preserve over age fifty. We can so do this! ♥
Pearl Two
On a daily basis, take a moment to look at what you’re doing: losing/preserving weight after age 50. Appreciate the work you’re putting in. Sure, shoring up such-and-such habit would be smart, but for a moment just admire what is. You’ve done a great job. If nobody else is saying it to you, I’m saying it: you’re doing a great job. Now, give yourself this kind of appreciation every single day. ♥
Pearl Three
Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.
This sequence is about childhood friends of mine.
Automatic Sequence
- Situation (be very specific: state something we can all agree on): My mom died in a car accident.
- Thought: How will I live without her? This can’t be happening.
- Feeling: Shock. Blinding grief.
- Action: My sister and I mull around when we’re together. Sometimes we eat out.
- Result: Sadly clean up the last of her clothes and jewelry.
Then with many, many bridge sequences you arrive at the following.
Chosen Sequence
- Situation (be very specific: state something we can all agree on): My mom died in a car accident.
- Chosen Thought: There’s a huge void in my heart, but I read an article saying we can have parallel lives: our grieving life and our daily activities-life.
- Feeling: Sad but frustrated, the “parallel lives” idea provides a little hope.
- Action: I let myself cry and punch a pillow when I need to. I also allow for fun and happy moments.
- Result: I heard Prince William say, “it can make or break you” and just those words alone have helped me so much. ♥
Pearl Book Desserts
Books love us and want us to be happy
Reminding me of The Kite Runner, a Thousand Splendid Suns and And the Mountains Echoed, I love sinking into books about other cultures and learning the points of view from the people who were actually there.
Born in New York City, but raised in Libya, Hisham Matar penned his beautiful memoir titled, The Return: Fathers, Sons and the Land in Between.
And it’s not only me, The Return has impressed many like:
- the New York Times Book Review’s ten best books list in 2017.
- One of the New York Times 100 Best Books of the 21st Century.
- Winner of the 2017 Pulitzer Prize,
The Return: Fathers, Sons and the Land in Between by Hisham Matar. A book-dessert of the highest caliber.
Pearl Five
It’s not the load that breaks you; it’s the way you carry it.” — Lena Horne ♥
Pool weather is on it way I think I need to shore up on my sunscreen.
Have a wonderful week!
♥, Wendy
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I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
