It’s simple. We weren’t given the right information.
Hi All!
The Scarfer complained this morning about the summer rain we’ve been having in Atlanta (suburb outside of ATL). We’re both from CA where the summers get brown and dry. And the fires aren’t far behind. But out here on the East Coast, Georgia and Florida there’s rain all summer long so nothing gets brown and dry.
Let’s talk maintenance/preservation!
Pearl One
Back in the day, food was my frenemy. Just out of college, in my early twenties, every Friday night you’d see me ordering a pizza and plopping on my couch and eating as many slices as I wanted without having to look at someone looking at me. I saw food as something “to go on” or “go off.” Weekends were made for overeating (a lot of dumb food) and Monday mornings were made for starting a new diet. “Being good” during the week meant being very strict with what I ate. The strictness inevitably lead to “going back onto food.”
If I was being completely conscious about it (and I wasn’t) I’d assumed back then that maintenance was something just for the lucky few. If I lost through a company like WW or from a diet book, I never once noticed someone explaining the in’s and out’s of maintenance/preservation.
In the last century, we all just danced around the ginormous elephant in the room. Maintenance didn’t get airtime. Either nobody had figured out how to maintain or they weren’t willing to part with the information.
Here’s what nobody was telling us about a lifetime weight loss. It’s only partially about eating right. It’s really about an entire lifestyle transformation.
So, if weight loss is based on “fixing” problem-you, it won’t last. When I was still struggling with my weight, I’d get down to a weight I was fine with, but in my mind I would still see myself as the “before” version. Even though I’d made it to a successful number, I couldn’t maintain my loss because my mind hadn’t transformed with my body.
Eventually we all default to who we believe we are. Tell yourself amazing things about you. Here’s some examples of what to tell yourself.
- “I’m losing weight and I’m breathing energy into my body.”
- “I’m open to working with my mind as I continue to lose/preserve my loss.”
- “I love and accept my body at 150 (then 145, and 140) pounds.”
- “I can do this.”
- “I know that maintaining brings it’s own special obstacles.”
- “I know that I need to establish the identity of being ‘a smart eater.’”
- “It takes time to embed such a important habits.”
- “I can do it. I’ve got this.”
Your Main Takeaway
Whether you’re an old-hand with maintenance, but are having hard days or are brand new to maintenance/preservation, create a new plan for yourself every morning. Then imagine yourself connected by an umbilical cord to your morning plan. The cord ties you to what you most want most in life.
Do I think all the work to transform my eating lifestyle was worth it? I promise you, one thousand times yes. Over the years I made small shifts and lost weight slowly (I didn’t want to alert my cavewoman) and in the long run, set future-me up for size 8 clothes today. Worth every annoying obstacle. ♥
Pearl Two
The writing prompt pearl
Write about a day when weight maintenance felt effortless — and a day when it didn’t.
What are the most surprising things you’ve discovered about yourself since keeping the weight off?
Reflect on how your self-identity had to shift in order to maintain.
What routines or rituals keep you grounded in your Smart Eating lifestyle?
Write about how your relationship with food and how internal thoughts help you stay on track — and which ones derail you?
Describe the emotional difference between being in “weight loss mode” and “maintenance mode.”
What do you tell yourself when you feel like giving up?
Write about a time you overate and didn’t spiral — what helped you handle it differently?
What does “self-compassion” look like in your maintenance journey?How do you deal with fear of regain? Be honest.Do you ever feel invisible now that the praise for losing weight has faded?
What’s your plan when you feel off track? What mindset helps you rebound when your habits slip?
Write about how you’ve learned to course correct without panic/drama.
How do you respond when the scale goes up a few pounds? ♥
Pearl Three
Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.
Automatic Sequence:
- Situation (be concrete): Ellen, 62, scrolling through Instagram sees a post from her daughter-in-law saying, “Breaking the cycle. Refusing to repeat the patterns I grew up around. Healing begins here.”
- Knee-jerk thought: Ellen never expected to be painted as the villain. Ellen knows, she can feel it in her chest: the post is about her.
- Feeling: Her first instinct is confusion. Then sadness. Then, if she’s honest? A quiet rage.
- Action: She fires off an angry email (but waits to send it).
- Result: She tries to stop thinking about the post, but it nudges her every so often. Nothing improves other than she’s left very hurt.
Chosen Sequence
- Situation (be concrete): Ellen, 62, scrolling through Instagram sees a post from her daughter-in-law saying, “Breaking the cycle. Refusing to repeat the patterns I grew up around. Healing begins here.”
- Chosen Thought: Okay, a little surprising, but I need to slow my roll because in the past I’ve overreacted. I’m chilling, I’m chilling. I’m chilling.
- Feeling: I’m keeping myself in neutral. I feel open to new information. This is part of the parenting gig I signed up for. I’m here for it.
- Action: She’s always found hot showers soothing — even though it’s the afternoon — she takes a long shower, puts on her jams early and gets into bed with a great book. She’s getting better at self-care!
- Result: She knows that she can gently ask about the post one day or stay mum and get on with life. ♥
Pearl Four
Books love and want us to be happy
I have a phenomenal, short memoir for you: Wild Ride: A Memoir of I.V. Drips and Rocket Ships by Hayley Arceneaux. This young woman’s experience with cancer at a young age is inspirational and will take you to the moon. Highly recommend reading the author’s debut book. Perfect book-dessert. ♥
Pearl Five
Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”— Louise L. Hay ♥
If you enjoyed this post, I’d love it if you’d send it to your doctors, surgeons, and nurses. They appreciate info. they can pass onto their patients who are struggling with weight management. Thanks for spreading the word!
Yes, it’s still raining and everything is still green.
Have a beautiful August week!
♥, Wendy
You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.
Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!
I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
