We have new thrivers – and welcome!! – I’m sharing five super important posts for you to read in pink below. The regular Monday post I send will make a lot more sense after you read the pink. And if you haven’t received your Aunt Bea copy just write to me at: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com and I’ll shoot it right to you.
- Begin Here
- This Metaphor Is My Constant Companion as I Preserve My Weight Loss After Age Fifty
- Brownies for Breakfast
- 6 Pillars of Losing Weight After Age 50
- How to Conquer Your Evening Sugar Cravings
Thank you for joining us!
Pearl One
A million years ago, I did PR for a non-profit sanctuary called the Performing Animal Welfare Society (PAWS). The sanctuary rescues former zoo animals, “actor” animals from Hollywood, and elephants from circuses. (In 2016 Ringling Brothers stopped traveling with elephants and re-homed these poor guys to land in Jacksonville, Florida.)
But here’s why I’m telling you this: one night when the sanctuary was still new, the couple (Pat and Ed) who founded and ran PAWS (and lived on the property) heard odd noises outside that that they didn’t normally hear. With a flashlight Ed decided to have a look and found his shed’s door wide open. Turns out, a black bear named Sweet William (rescued from Hollywood) got out of his structure, went into Ed’s shed, and was found in the dark pushing the mower on the grass imitating what he’d seen Ed do for years.
Human beings are just like Sweet William. We’re wired for connection look at others to see what they’re up to and how they’re handling life.
Being social animals, we want to participate with the group. But it’s important to note who’s in your group. Here’s how our friends and family can sway us to the dark side:
- If we hear that our friends rifle through their kids’ Halloween stash, we might think “now there’s an idea.”
- If family loves their holidays layered in 10,000 calories, we figure it’s easier to just “go along to get along.”
- If our partner wants a heavy dinner with wine every evening, we feel funny – and it somehow feels wrong — to make two dinners.
The leap from “eating with the gang” to eating that lines up with something you dearly value (being in control of your weight) can feel like a solitary, sad food-experience. It’s vital to make a habit of giving yourself soothing self-talk.
It’s an important challenge to acknowledge within yourself that it’s difficult to watch others eating the cake and ice cream appearing to have “all the fun.”
While you sit crunching your petite carrots.
But here’s your takeaway: acknowledge to yourself that if you pine to eat with your friends and family, congratulations, you’re normal. It’s a natural inclination to want to participate in what everyone else is doing. It’s in our DNA to eat, eat, eat when our people are chowing.
But sometimes the larger groups aren’t headed in the right direction and following the herd can mean running straight off the cliff.
Cigarettes are a great example: everybody smoked. It was cool and classy at the time. These days it’s a dangerous addiction that can kill (my dad, never allowed to smoke in the house, finally gave them up saying, “I kind of miss my little friends.”).
Yes, those trumpeting the ultra-processed food (UPF) are doing a stellar job at bringing attention to the world saying, “this ‘food’ we’re eating is dangerous for us.” I love their message. If you want to read more, I highly recommend getting the scoop here.
But there’s good news: we can participate in what our tribe is doing for the holidays. We only need to gain the skill of being present with our family and friends as we maintain our Smart Eating Lifestyle. If you know a big eating-event like Christmas is on the horizon, plan how you’ll engage with family, friends and coworkers in the month of December that doesn’t involve food.
For example, in my planning I might write, “instead of eating all of the calories at Christmas, this year I’m taking all the kids for a bike ride or if they’re babies, a stroller ride or both.” Then I don’t only plan a new activity, I also plan to have tools in easy reach like my cold-tote with an ice block using these and these. I layer in great bites for myself. On tough days I also plan to Eat Before I Eat, and I maybe have a bite or two of what’s being served (as long as long as I won’t be triggered).
Keep what you value most close to your heart and watch the change unfold. ♥
Pearl Two
Our writing prompts pearl.
- Do you have people in mind who encourage overeating?
- Do they take no, thank you as an answer or do you end up feeling pushed?
- What happens internally for you when someone you care about pushes?
- How do you feel about going against the grain on your Smart Eating Path?
- Do you like to stand out or do you prefer to be private?
- How do you maintain the umbilical cord that runs from you to your value system (smart eating)?
- What do you think about having an internal self-soothing voice?
- What would you tell yourself? ♥
Pearl Three
Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.
Automatic Sequence
- Situation: Sophie stood looking at the dessert tray, fork in hand.
- Initial thought: She could indulge or stick to the salad she’d planned.
- Feeling: Sick and tired of the whole “weight loss” thing.
- Action: Angry, she eats the salad.
- Result: That weekend, she goes off her eating plan entirely. Back in her old cycle – start smart eating plan, get tempted, back to a food-porn lifestyle over and over.
Chosen Sequence
- Situation: Sophie stood looking at the dessert tray, fork in hand.
- Chosen thought: She could have this dessert or eat “my bland salad.” She realized that she needs to create more exciting lunches for herself. (This was a huge aha for her.) She’ll only be able to avoid the dessert if she has something equally as great to eat.
- Feeling: Resolve to fix the lunch obstacle.
- Action: She goes online and finds easy recipes to make her meals snazzier and more engaging. When she leaves the house she has a cold-tote and an ice block. She’s looking forward to eating her egg salad sandwich on her favorite Trader Joe’s brand bread (whole wheat), her Siggi’s yogurt cup, and red grapes to sweeten up her yogurt.
- Result: She racks up mini-wins throughout the coming weeks by making it a habit to ignore the dessert tray and looking forward to having her cold-tote small bites. ♥
Pearl Four
Oh, boy. I had a tough week. I found plenty of great books, but they just weren’t what I have in mind as a book-dessert. So, I’ll bring back my forever favorite author Min Jin Lee. She wrote Free Food for Millionaires (excellent) and years later came out with Pachinko that’s on my top ten list as being a favorite. You will love both books. ♥
Pearl Five
“It’s humbling to start fresh. It takes a lot of courage. But it can be reinvigorating. You just have to put your ego on a shelf and tell it to be quiet.” —Jennifer Ritchie Payette
If you haven’t yet read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, you’ll thank yourself later. I reread this one every other year. I highly recommend. I switch it up with Atomic Habits by James Clear.
Here’s where I would love your help. I’m starting to post on Instagram every day: it’ll include smart food suggestions, an inspiring quote and how to get out of tough eating spots. I’d love for you to come aboard!
Have a wonderful week!
♥, Wendy
You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.
Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!
I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
