Too cool for school? Not a brilliant plan.
Pearl One
Back when yo-yo-ing was my lifestyle, I would never have called myself “smug.” Most of the time, I was dealing with too little confidence, rather than too much.
But.
To be perfectly transparent, I remember losing ten or fifteen pounds, and turning moderately smug. As if I were too cool for school. As in, I’d never have to deal with weight issues again! (Awesome, right?)
But now – in my opinion – feeling smug is the very precursor to the downhill slide into re-gaining the fifteen + more.
Like all of us trying to lose weight, I was on an elevator that went up and down through the years.
And back then I didn’t know that what I put into my mind and heart was far more important than what I put into my mouth. I didn’t know that being smug would never be a helpful thought or feeling. It would always be the beginning of a downfall.
Thankfully I figured out trashing the smug thought was vital, and now I instead think, I’m always learning. I’m always discovering. I slip and that’s okay. I’ll just meet the new day and go for it again. Over and over and over.
I know that a lot of Thrivers are having amazing success. And don’t get me wrong, I love hearing about the awesome strides everyone’s making, but consider nestling this phrase into your heart forever.
♥ I’m not smug about losing.
♥ I’m not smug about losing.
♥ I’m not smug about losing.
If you’re having what anyone would deem “victory!!,” don’t be lured down the smug-pathway. It might seem like allowing ourselves to feel a tiny bit smug is the pinnacle of “success”, but it’s really the precursor to a downward spiral back into over chowing-land.
I’m not smug about losing. Let’s don’t me smug together. ❄️
Pearl Two
Our journal-writing pearl.
- What outrageous, wonderful, too-amazing-to-be-true-but-it-is successes have you had? Doesn’t need to be food related. It could be when you finished your PhD or adopted your daughter from Korea. Write out three to five wins.
- When I’ve felt smug in life what were the results?
- What does a smug person look like to you?”
- Feeling smug on one hand, but feeling rock-bottom low self esteem on the other hand are siblings. Why do you think they are? ❄️
Pearl Three
Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.
Initial Sequence
- Situation (be very concrete): Shelley, 64, had worked as an emergency room nurse for decades. She retired her sixty-third year after her best friend, Lisa, passed.
- Initial thought: “They told me to “live a little” while I still could. Well, I retired. Now what? I’m essentially bored and lonely.”
- Feeling: Sadness because she deeply wishes that she could return to her life of five years ago and make an entirely different decision.
- Action: Tends to stay home and babysit her grand kids. When Shelley’s daughter-in-law asks she just says yes and it turns into an always thing to pick the kids up from school and drive them home. She does some laundry and starts to make dinner for her son’s family.
Chosen Sequence
- Situation (be very concrete): Shelley, 64, had worked as an emergency room nurse for decades. She retired her sixty-third year after her best friend, Lisa, passed.
- Chosen thought: “I’m new to being retired and like anything new I need to find my land legs. While I accustom myself to this new lifestyle, I’ll make rules for myself like “get out of the house at least once a day.” I can do this, it just takes time.
- Feeling: a little on edge, but excited. She can feel good things coming her way.
- Action: she meets with a group from church every month. and she loves meeting up with them for dinner and margs.
- Result: The group really bonds and start getting together even more often. In the spring they plan a group trip to see New York City. ❄️
Pearl Four
The River Is Waiting by Wally Lamb is a quiet, devastating novel about grief, guilt, and what it means to keep living after irreversible loss. It’s deeply humane, emotionally heavy, and written with Lamb’s trademark compassion
Trigger warning: This book may be especially difficult for anyone who has lost a child
I highly recommend this book on audio. The reader did a fantastic job. Total book-dessert! ❄️
Pearl Five
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ❄️
Albert Einstein
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Here in Atlanta more crazy ice storms, more sparkly trees.
Hope you’re staying warm and cozy.
♥, Wendy
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