Pearl # 1
I realize I might sound like a weirdo, but I love thinking about self-sabotage. It’s so interesting to me how insidious self-sabotage thoughts can be in our lives. We listen to them like they’re real. When they’re not at all.
The self-sabotage voice sounds so common sense-ish when he whispers in our ear:
- You don’t have time to work out tomorrow morning; you really need that extra hour of sleep.
- Your family is rarely together all at once. Eat, drink, and be merry, you can do the smart eating thing on Monday.
- Sure, Christmas is four months away. But no worries about saving, buy the cute handbag and Christmas will sort itself out. It always does.
See what I mean? The little voice sounds like it has our back and all is well in the world.
But here’s the problem: we can’t – in today’s vernacular – live our “best lives” if we don’t catch on when the self-sabotage monster is calling the shots.
We all engage in self-sabotage in one way or another. Some do it in a giant way like a friend who gets this close to earning an important degree, only to bail at the end because her mother’s sick and “needs her.”
Or some of us do it in little ways like we “forget” to do laundry and wake up the next morning with nothing to wear.
My self-sabotage voice is at its most blaring in the evening. It tells me with utter confidence:
- What you’re trying to do is too hard. If it were meant to be, it would be easy.
- You’ll never get a handle on ABC, just half-ass it like you’ve done for decades. You’ll be fine!
- Don’t reach out to so-and-so! She’s renowned in her field, she won’t have time to respond to you.
How to Spot the Monster In A Second.
Here’s how to flush out your self-sabotage creep: his thoughts always screw Future You.
Always.
The self-sabotage voice is always pushing for the cushiest deal he can possibly negotiate for today. He doesn’t think long-term. Ever.
A Challenge
Begin to notice what your self-sabotage monster sounds like. Also notice when he’s most likely bothering you (morning? Evening?). Then write down every self-sabotage thought that presents itself.
Trust me, once you’re looking for these terrible messages, it becomes easier to spot them. I’ve gotten decent at noticing when Mr. No-Help is on the scene. I think, oh it’s the self-sabotage guy again. And I refuse to listen.
Because I refuse to screw Future Me. ♥
Pearl # 2
Years ago I was seeing a therapist who casually mentioned that “feelings are like clouds, they come and they go.” She made the comment off-handedly, but I’ve embraced those words as if they were water to a dying woman.
I took her words and applied them to food cravings. I noticed that cravings come and go just like the clouds.
Cravings present, hang out for a bit and then move on.
Huh.
So that said, I only needed to find a way to wait out the craving with a hot shower, good book, an evening walk and so forth.
My mantra: feelings and cravings are like clouds.
They float on by. ♥
Pearl # 3
The headlines have long screamed, “Lose 10 Pounds in 10 Days!” Or “Meet a Mom Who Lost One Hundred Pounds in A Year!” We’ve been somewhat brainwashed into thinking that fast weight loss is good and safe and totally do-able.
We’ve been taught to think of Smart Eating as something outside of our “real” lives.
And that’s just the way the Big Food guys want it. Kraft, Hostess, Frito-Lay, The Coca-Cola Company, Big Ice Cream all see little profit if we rarely partake of their “food.”
Shifting from thinking that weight loss/maintenance is a short-term activity to it’s more like a long race, will support us through the years.
Eating well is not something we start on a Monday or at the “beginning of bathing suit season.”
Instead Smart Eating becomes who we are as people. We drive around with baby carrots and cut-up apples in a cold bag. We stop eating at 6 p.m. each night. When we want fun food, we eat it in the morning with our coffee.
Over age fifty, that’s just how we roll. ♥
Pearl # 4
Do you go “all-in?” It’s the saying of the moment, and I love it. I plan to use it forever.
I know a woman who finally left the rat race to open her own boutique. I watched this person go all-in. She chose a group to create her beautiful blog. She hired a social media coach. She just put pedal-to-the-metal.
I was blown away.
I tend to nickel-and-dime myself when I’m reaching for a dream. Well, let’s see – I’ll think – I want to start taking yoga and Pilates. Hey, here’s the most inexpensive place in town!
In that particular example, I found a fabulous yoga studio, but you see my point.
When you identify what you really, really want in life, go all-in.
The results will astound you. ♥
Pearl # 5
“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something & then go about making sure that it doesn’t happen.” Alyce Cornyn-Selby ♥
We made it to the last week of August!
I love September for an unusual reason: communities around Atlanta close their pools, but open them to the dogs for a weekend of doggie swimming!
It is a blast! I’ve found five pools that host the Doggie Swimming Bash and I buy my sweetheart slots on Saturday and on Sunday.
What are you looking forward to in September? I love comments and questions!! 🙂
And remember, it’s not your imagination: Health is hard for all of us!
♥, Wendy
P.S. Have you read Buh-Bye Aunt Bea Bod: 13 Tools to Lose Weight & Maintain a Forever Loss?
I packed Aunt Bea with every essential method I used to lose fifty-five and still use today.
Remember getting your driver’s license? How learning to drive wasn’t a “one and done” thing? Same with Aunt Bea. The Aunt Bea post is your ride to embedding Smart Eating habits into your life, habits that will have your back for a life-time.
Click Begin Here. ♥♥♥ Print Aunt Bea, and tape her inside a kitchen cupboard, on your car’s dash, under your pillow, and so forth. Apply to life as needed. 🙃
18 Comments
Oh, my dog would love to go swimming! (He is still learning to come back when called, so – that’s something to look forward to.)
Listening for self-sabotage . . . mine is definitely quite skilled. I like the idea of leveling up my push-back to out-smart it. Ha!
Ha! Figuring out the self-sabotaging voice is life-changing when you get down to it.
I hope you’re doing well!!
Wendy
Love this post- you’re so interesting and inspiring! My new mantra: feelings and cravings are like clouds. Love it!!
Thank you Lucy!
Wendy
Hello Wendy,
I spotted your link on Inspire Me Monday and your post title caught my eye. You’re right, eating a healthy well-balanced diet should be an all the time thing, not just for swimsuit season and getting weight off fast usually comes back with some, so keeping things in moderation is the real trick while focusing on not sabotaging yourself in the process. Thanks for sharing your pearls of advice. Have a joyful week!
You said it beautifully!!
Wendy
Amazing pearls of wisdom there, thanks for sharing. I’m very guilty of self sabotage, and I have very rarely in life gone ‘all-in’ which is probably why my dreams have always been just out of reach.
Anne,
You’re not alone. I too have had a hard time going all-in. I can do it for my kids or my animals, but I’m still a work in progress when it comes to me.
Wendy
YES! To all of these pearls, but #2 hits home with me these days. I seem to have these cravings (of course while I watch tv!), but I’m learning that the feeling will pass if I just give it time 🙂
Shauna
http://www.lipglossandlace.net
Oh, my Tahoe-friend. It took time but I finally got over the TV-junk food connection.
I started to see a really great show or a phenomenal book as a no-cal treat. Helped to see it that way.
LOVE your blog!
Wendy
These are wonderful pearls of wisdom, regardless of which issue we’re trying to tackle. (I’ve not heard of a Doggie Swimming Bash!)
You might have the doggie swimming party in your town/city. It’s become a thing. It’s always now — Sept. 1 tomorrow — when I sign up.
And you’re right, the pearls apply to everything in life. 🙂
Wendy
Great post. I’d be so honored if you shared it on the Share the Wealth Party at My Big Fat Menopausal life.
http://bigfatmenopausallife.blogspot.com/2021/09/share-wealth-ii-second-installment-of.html
I love your blog! I think I’m already on there! 🙂
Wendy
Thank you – and thank you!!
Thank you for sharing your posts at SeniorSalon
I’m sure we all have that self-sabotager within – thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo
Thanks Stephanie. Self-sabotage, the little voice that makes lemons out of lemonade.
Wendy