You and I are works of art in progress. We learn as we go.
Hello Thrivers!
I have to say, it’s been a tough week. Looking forward to a great weekend of reading.
Pearl One
Could there be more annoying words?
“It’s all about the ‘journey,’ not the outcome. It’s about what you learn along the way, and how you’ll be stronger because of the path you’ve chosen. It’s not the prize that comes at the end.”
Give me a break. When we’re very unhappy with the status quo, the “it’s the process that really counts” message just sounds like a lot of noise.
I mean, say a friend needs a hernia surgery, but first has to lose forty-pounds and can’t figure out how to lose the weight. It’s a huge, important situation in her life.
There’s nothing cute or sweet about food, eating, and our health.
“A journey” makes what we’re doing sound like a delightful train ride through the beautiful rolling countryside.
What we’re attempting here – a forever weight loss — is not a little, cute thing; it’s a big deal to shift from the yo-yo dieting world to the Smart Eating Lifestyle.
We don’t want food to have such a grip on our lives. We each want to be at a particular weight so that certain clothes will fit and we’re sick of being lured or – later — repulsed by food.
You’d like this experience to be somewhat doable, not because you’re a slacker, but because if everything is too difficult to actually work then what’s the point?! For too long we’ve all ping-ponged between “trying really hard” to “accepting what is.”
Couldn’t life just make this one process a little easier?
Yes, it can, but first we have to be honest and start calling our work what it actually is: a rigorous — sometimes grueling — trek. ♥
Pearl Two
Once you’ve named the struggle it becomes more manageable. If you know what you’re dealing with, you bring the right tools and have a much better shot at success.
What do I consider my best tool? Every part of success starts with a thought in our minds that we then make visible through our actions.
Take committing to bring a cold-tote along always. It starts with the thoughts,
“I need an individualized cold-tote. I don’t have one.” (This is the one I love.)
“I need to prep healthy snacks on Sunday afternoon so that I have something smart to pack in my cold-tote.”
“I need a specific plan about how I’ll remember to take my cold-tote. (You can put your car keys in the tote.)
Every new eating habit you want to instill starts with your thoughts. ♥
Pearl Three
In Pearl Three we closely exam Atom Habits.
In Atomic Habits, James Clear writes, “The third and deepest layer (of habit change) is changing your identity. This level is concerned with changing your beliefs, your worldview, your self-image, your judgements about yourself and others. Most of the beliefs, assumptions, and biases you hold are associated with this level.”
This concept was new for me: the idea of “changing our identity.” So instead of merely employing smart habits, the most important piece is seeing ourselves in an entirely new light.
Last weekend, my sister was running into the grocery to get sandwiches for us. Before she left the car I said, “No chips! I don’t eat chips.” My identity has changed around what I eat. It wasn’t, “oh, should I have the chips? Or shouldn’t I? kind of thing. It was just “I don’t eat those.”
It’s similar to offering a friend’s mom a drink and she says, “Thank you, but no, dear, but I don’t drink.”
How you see yourself in your mind’s eye is a thought. So, let’s go with “I’m very resourceful and can figure such-and-such out. How you think of yourself is is a huge component of a forever-loss.
Tell yourself, “I’m smart and I can figure this out” like 20 times a day. ♥
Pearl Four
The author started writing this debut novel when she was just 16-years-old, and even though I knew her age as I read, it doesn’t seem possible that a young person could write such a sophisticated novel.
Scrolling through Oprah’s Book Club picks, I was pulled to this book because the author and I come from the same part of the world. I grew up in a snooty suburb outside of San Francisco that somewhat shoulders where the author grew up in Oakland, CA.
Nightcrawling: A Novel by Leila Mottley is rough, and gritty, and completely compelling. The novel starts with a bang (my favorite thing) and tells a fictional tale about a poor Black girl and how she manages to deal in life with a deceased dad, a mom in prison, and a brother who wants to follow his uncle to become a successful rapper.
We see the protagonist take care of a neighbor-boy whom she’s known since birth and keep him fed and going to school
Even though this is a work of fiction, she based part of the plot on actual circumstances.
Nightcrawling is gritty and rough, and nobody is saved by a rich uncle. Highly recommend. ♥
Pearl Five
“Struggling is not the identity. You must learn to live while you struggle, such that anyone who sees you can separate the struggle from your life.” ♥
Anonymous
The other day a friend picking me up needed to use the bathroom in my house. As she came in, I looked around and thought, “what a mess, but at least the dining room looks nice.” And then I remembered, the dining room was a wreck too.
It was, like, time to declutter. (I know, I’ve said this before.) Any tips, absolutely welcomed. Here are my challenges: I don’t know what to do about sentimental stuff like drawings from my kids and collars from my fur-kids.
Have a really relaxing weekend, Everyone !
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
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I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥
