Keeping our toddler emotional brain chill is all about planning.
Pearl One
You’re mentally exhausted, bored, and sick of the whole “lose weight over 50” thing. It’s taking way too long and you’re starting to think that “if it were meant to be” it would be to-done by now.
I mean, you knew it would be hard, but – hello? — you didn’t expect it to be this hard.
When my twins were two-years-old, I was complaining to my sister about the difficulty of dealing with two toddlers. My sister whose two kids were both under four said, “it’s hard, it’s hard, it’s just all hard.”
We can call it burnout or the messy-middle, but whatever we call it the honeymoon days are long-gone.
When you’re feeling discouraged and “done” with the whole smart eating deal, here’s how to use use your annoyance for your highest good: pull out your journal and therapize yourself.
When we journal-write we’re inviting our unconscious to show up on the page and share her wisdom.
Ask yourself smart questions like these:
- When thinking about past projects: what has been your knee-jerk reaction to the messy-middle?
- Do you know what triggers a feeling of burn-out for you? (Triggers are different for different people.)
- Do you have everything you need to support yourself during the messy-middle times?
- How do you reconnect to your why you started this process (losing after 50) in the first place? Do you reconnect to it daily, weekly, or not at all? What would it feel like to reconnect daily? What would that look like?
- What are you doing to make your smart eating-life a little easier on yourself?
- Same question, but: what are you doing to make your smart eating-life harder on yourself?
- How do you show up in your own life for you?
- Do you have an internal cheerleader or coach who talks you through the messiest of middles?
- Is your coach strict? Or nurturing and loving? (Both voices are important to have as you go forward.)
So, if you feel stuck in the messy-middle just know that in this moment you and I have a choice. We can decide to replicate messy-middle reactions from our past, or we can consciously choose to handle this particular messy-middle with an entirely new, well thought out response. ♥
Pearl Two
On a daily basis, always take a moment to look at what you’re doing: losing/preserving weight after age 50. Appreciate how much you’re doing. Sure, shoring up such-and-such habit would be smart, but for a moment just admire what is. You’ve done a great job. If nobody else is saying it to you: I’m saying it: you’re doing a great job. Now, give yourself this kind of appreciation every single day along with “you’ve so got this.” ♥
Pearl Three
Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.
Original Sequence
- Situation (something very concrete): My school reunion is in two months.
- Thought: I’m too fat.
- Feeling: Mortified. Embarrassed. Mad at myself.
- Action: I start a super strict diet.
- Result: After the wedding I’m ravenous for everything food-porn. I go off the rails for months.
Bridge Sequence
- Situation (something very concrete): My school reunion is in two months.
- Thought: Without beating myself up, I can have concern for how I’ll look to old friends.
- Feeling: Nervous. A little on-edge.
- Action: I’m going to the InspiredEater.com and planning from there.
- Result: I’m talking to myself in a much kinder, less judgemental kind of way. Reunions are rough on everybody.
New Chosen Sequence
- Situation (something very concrete): My school reunion is in two months.
- Thought: The reunion is perfect for a “baby goal.” I can bring my “best self” and I’m so looking forward to catching up with old friends.
- Feeling: Revved-up. Focused.
- Action: I write a smart eating plan for the next two months. I’ll make the same kind of plan for actual day of the event. And I’ll make another smart eating plan for the weeks after event. Planning is my golden ticket!
- Result: My last two months have gone well (eating-wise). While my weight is higher than I’d like it to be, I can live with these results. I’m focused now on who I’ll get to see again. ♥
Pearl Four
I have another great memoir for you. Remember Kramer on Seinfeld? Well, who would think he’s always had the soul of a serious actor? Entrances and Exits by Michael Richards (Author), Jerry Seinfeld (Foreword) is the precise reason I love memoirs so much: you learn the many ins and outs of somebody’s life and it’s dang interesting! Really, it’s one of those books I stayed up too late reading. Highly recommend. ♥
Pearl Five
It has to be hard so you’ll never ever forget.” ♥
Bob Harpet
Have you ever had a day when you wake up tired? For no real reason? That’s me today. I think I’ll catch some shut-eye with my kitty on the couch.
Have a wonderful week!!
♥, Wendy
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I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥
