When we were teens, drama was fine. But today, kick the drama and be curious instead.

Pearl One

Meet a friend who lost 49 pounds and has kept them off for ten years.

Gail writes:

I had an interesting experience on my birthday. For various reasons I wasn’t able to go out and do fun things, as I usually do, so I decided to release my iron control and have what I used to call ” an eating day”, which included a very large portion of cheesy mashed potatoes.

The next day I’d put on three pounds. In the past, I would have either panicked and starved myself, or carried on eating. I resumed my normal diet and exercise and within three days was back to normal weight.

Very reassuring.

I love this.

You and I are not new to this game. The scale has gone up and down our entire lives. We know the days of angry-tears and we know the good times too.

Even so, to gain Gail’s skill, here’s what we want to practice: ditching the drama when the scale is not going in the “right” direction.

What I mean by “drama” is that, let’s say, you weigh yourself in the morning, don’t like what you see on the scale and start beating yourself up. You’re furious. You tell yourself that you’re idiotic, stupid and so forth.

Guess how I know? After 16 years of maintenance I still have those bad days. Not as many, but I have them.

And — when I do — like Gail, I don’t go to pieces. Or berate myself. None of that.

Because when you “take yourself to task” in your heart, you’re going backwards. Nothing comes from turning on yourself.

Instead learn to be curious. In your journal, write the timeline of events that led you to overeat. Essentially map out what happened and learn more about who you are with certain triggers.

Then go “Gail” on your Smart Eating Lifestyle. That’s right. Let’s say you’ve gained, follow her exact lead:

In the past, I would have either panicked and starved myself, or carried on eating. I resumed my normal diet and exercise and within three days was back to normal weight.

That’s right. Say buh-bye to all the hoopla that comes from attacking yourself when you’ve gained, get curious, write in your journal — and steer yourself right back to your Smart Eating Lifestyle.

I don’t “think” you can do this. I know you can.

If you want to meet Gail, she’s British and has a fun and colorful fashion blog at Is this Mutton? ♥

Pearl Two

In life, it’s what you make it mean. True story. I was in a meeting in a large conference room with a group of cops and managers. Mid-meeting, an officer showed up with a K-9 officer, a black German shepherd named Bennie.

We took a small break, and I used my time to go bananas over the sweetheart and throw a Kong toy for him again and again. A wonderful GSD.

Another woman was in the meeting. When Bennie arrived she was acting uncomfortable. At the break, a flurry ensued. She was obviously terrified and repeated “no, no, no” (as officers were trying to reassure her) and bolted out of the room never to be seen again.

Same large conference room. Same meeting. Same dog. Two totally different reactions. In slowing down the film here’s what happened:

Door opens and in walks an officer and Officer Bennie.

She sees the dog and thinks, monster! From the thought, she feels scared.

I see Bennie and think, furry baby! From the thought, I feel delighted.

Her action: she leaves the room.

My action: love-bomb the puppy!

This woman wasn’t being “silly.” I have a good friend who grew up in the same culture as this woman. In their world small dogs are fine, but big dogs are vicious and dangerous.

My point: a circumstance unfolds, we have a thought and from the thought we have a feeling. And it’s within our power to choose the thought that will will impact our feeling.

The sequence goes: “situation” then ” our thought” then our “feeling.” Give this concept a lot of your time, because every situation in life boils down to this sequence. There are two more steps, but first I’m hoping you’ll embrace this flow.

If this doesn’t make sense, I would love it if you email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com. ♥

Pearl Three

We keep this slot for a new topic each month and in November we’re talking “stacking.”

Today I’m stacking what comforts me when life is being life, and I’m overwhelmed. Take a look at my Comfort Stack:

One

Being in bed on a cold night, and going under my electric blanket.

Two

Laying on the couch under my Grandma’s knitted blankie, headphones on listening to a favorite podcast. Most important: kitty pads over and curls up on Mount Tummy.

Three

In bed – same electric blanket – reading a phenomenal book or watching a favorite show: The Crown, Schitt’s Creek, or Call the Midwife.

Four

Being in the library with three of my most favorite things: free books, magazines and silence.

Five

I love being home – alone – and putting on great music to putter-clean. Largely I’m a panic-cleaner, but occasionally I get the house to myself, and I love doing whatever needs attention (which is everything).

Six

I used to get comfort by being at my yoga/Pilates studio. For the most part we knew each other – sort of –, like I knew when a yoga-friend went to South Korea to visit family. That kind of thing.

And I knew each instructor’s style. (Not saying it was easy. In the beginning I slipped in my own sweat, but it felt homey.)

Now it’s your turn. I’d love to hear about your Comfort Stack in the comments below! ♥

Pearl Four

I ran across this recipe and thought, sounds tasty (and I was right).

Oats muesli-style for the brrrr!! months:

Take:  

• Half an apple or pear, grated (I diced my apple)
• 1/2 cup rolled oats
• 1/2 cup milk or plant milk of your choice (I used almond milk; some use Kefir)
• 1/2 cup Greek yogurt (I used regular yogurt)
• 1/4 cup dried fruits of your choice (I left this out completely, a quarter-cup seems like a lot)
• a squeeze of honey (I didn’t use)
• a generous handful of nuts (I use a light sprinkle of walnuts. I’d never use “a generous sprinkle” of anything).

During the cold months, combine all the ingredients in a cereal bowl and allow to sit for 20 minutes. No, you aren’t heating anything, but the dish is warmer than if it sits in the fridge all night.

But during the summer, let the muesli sit overnight in the fridge and in the morning you’ll wake up to a delicious cold bowl. ♥

Pearl Five

Ok. So you had a bad day. Don’t beat yourself up, don’t let one bad decision send you spiraling out of control. Get back to making decisions that improve your health and happiness. You are who you choose to be.” — Anonymous ♥

I have an advertising budget of lol. If you’ve enjoyed these pearls, I’d love it if you’d share them with friends or family.

On Tuesday we’ll talk Holiday Health Challenge. For this last week before Thanksgiving, join me in doubling-down and doing our new habit each day of this week. And share how you’re doing in the comments below! 🙂

Have a beautiful mid-November everyone!!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

I’ve been asked if I could include something like Buy me a Coffee on the Inspired Eater. So if you feel up to sending a coffee, I am a devotee. You’ll find the coffee “button” to your right. And, as always, thank you so much for reading the Inspired Eater. ♥♥♥

Happy Friday, Thrivers!!

It’s been pointed out to me that my posts are too long. So I planned to keep this post short.

I’ll do better next week.

Pearl One

Let’s Talk the “S” Word.

I was planning to use Pearl One for another topic, but I just received an email from a sweet thriver who wrote about the success she’s having:  she’s down 44 lbs. since April 2021!! I LOVE hearing about those who trust the process of losing weight slowly.

If the weight loss happens a bit at a time, our cave woman slumbers in her cave, not feeling her presence is needed. Take it slowly with the many plateaus that are actually a good thing. (It’s just your body adjusting to the new weight.)

Our thriver brought up an important topic she wrote, (the trainer at the gym) said not to weigh myself!! And you weigh yourself every day. Maybe you could write about that sometime please. Cheers!!

The scale. Is anything as revered or hated as much as your average bathroom scale? On one side we have “Team How Could I Survive without my Scale?” And on the other side is “Team My Ears, My Ears! I Just Heard Talk of He who must not be Named!”

Here’s my take on the “S” word-drama.

The scale is merely a feedback device. Nothing more, nothing less. Many of us associate scales with the hurt, pain, and humiliation we experienced as kids when we were forced to step onto the scale. Totally get it. I have my own stories.

The reason the fitness industry is absolutely not a fan of the scale, however, is that muscle weighs more than fat, so if we’re working out we may — in theory — be gaining muscle, and today’s scale doesn’t differentiate between fat and muscle. So, the scale-haters, say “scales aren’t giving us useful information. What the point?”

Then we have the team who has no intention of ever giving up their scale. Their point is that the scale helps them know if what they’re eating is working or not.

I live somewhere in the middle. I don’t have a knee-jerk reaction to the word “scale.”

When I first became wacko-determined to lose the weight for good, I was weighed at Weight Watchers once a week. Then I got pregnant with twins, and of course stopped losing weight. A few weeks after I had my babies, I started WW meetings again. (I wasn’t able to breast feed so losing weight wasn’t a problem.)

I took one baby every Saturday (left one with my hub) and attended a meeting that also had the weekly weigh-in. I’m not in any way endorsing WW. It was simply the plan I picked, but I know many who count calories in their tracker living on the Mediterranean Diet, the Keto Diet and others. (The key: pick a plan you can live with forever. Trying a new plan every so often might be good for the diet industry’s bottom line, but it does nothing for our forever weight loss.)

Within months of being back to WW, I felt ready to be on my own. So I stayed with Weight Watchers “old” point system and was only weighed at the doctor’s office. I’d gotten it into my head that super strong habits come always came first for me.

Finally in my early 40s I lost all of the weight, and still chose to go without a scale for many years; I was still focused mainly on creating good habits. But I was never rabid against using a scale, I just didn’t think I needed it at the time. I (somehow) intuited that smart eating habits were the only thing I cared about. I figured that if I didn’t lose weight eating healthy foods in healthy amounts, so be it. The plan was to live a smart eating lifestyle. Come what weigh. LOL!

Around the time I hit 50 – and was past menopause – I bought a scale and used it every morning. Why? Because being down to a very low, but healthy weight, it was clear that if I happened to to eat a bit too much here or there, I could inadvertently eat myself out of my four-pound weight window. (If I gain weight, it’s only because it’s a conscious choice.)

The Scale-Naysayers

As we move forward in losing after 50, I think it’s super important to gather the info about eating plans, work outs, and the scale, and come to your own conclusion. Some feel safer using a scale, some feel fine without one. I used both tactics. At one time I loved working on my habits only. But these days I appreciate the feedback device for the info it gives me.

If I could talk to the fitness industry as a whole, I would explain that your average woman over 50 – like me – does not work out at the level needed for weight loss.

Sure, some can work out to such a degree that they struggle to get enough calories. Navy Seals, Olympians like Michael Phelps, and devoted marathon runners, okay.

But – I’d tell the industry – we aren’t in the armed forces; we’re not aiming for a place in the Olympics, and I definitely would never qualify for a long distance marathon.

Women over 50, 60, 70, and 80 – yes, we have thrivers over 80 – are past menopause and aren’t training so hard that the weight of their muscles are impacting the scale.

Are there outliers who work out to such a degree that the new muscle is adding weight to the scale? I guess there could be, and more power to her! But I’ve never met anyone over 50 who worked out at that level of intensity.

But always know: there are so many seriously awesome reasons to work out when we’re over 50: the feel-good rush of endorphins for one, fewer falls for two, and the magical properties for our brains! ♥

Pearl Two

In 2012, my best friend, passed. Ollie was a black lab who we rescued from a busy street. An absolute sweetheart.

In 2016, I had back surgery to repair a slipped disc (Heller, Emory. Masterpiece of a surgeon).

In 2019, my first ever car crash. Before I read the accident report, I so worried that I’d caused the accident. I hadn’t, major phew. Nobody was hurt. I had a broken arm, but that was it. (The cars took the impact.)

And so what?! Every one of us has stories. Life is hard, period. Nothing calk-walk about it.

At the beginning of making my wacko-dedication to losing after 40 (that later turned into maintaining 16 years at this writing) I let nothing come between me and getting healthier day by day.

One time at Starbucks I was on crutches and I remember thinking, it doesn’t matter that I broke my foot I will not stop being wacko-dedicated.

As the years careened by and life veered from merely being difficult to once or twice just awful. I did not waver in my dedication to, once and for giving up bad choices food. I was intent on embedding into my core what living a Smart Eating Lifestyle was all about.

So, how did I do this?

1. I made the decision to always put my dedication front-and-center, and I recommitted to the Smart Eating Lifestyle in the beginning at least three times a day. In your journal, write about why you’re so committed to losing weight for the trip, sure, but also aiming at a forever-loss. Then write that sentence into your calendar every day for at least a year.

2. I changed my self-talk and essentially said a version of this to me daily, just because we made a major move from the West Coast to the East, does not give me an open window to stagger off our Smart Eating Lifestyle.

3. Somehow I knew deep inside that chowing ice cream with my family even just once, would lead to a new habit of chowing with the family again and again. It’s takes forever to instill a great habit, but barely a moment to bring on a bad one.

Right?!

Seriously, when you’re ready, get dedicated to living the Smart Eating Lifestyle and check in with yourself about your commitment daily. ♥

Pearl Three

In September we’re keeping this slot for “how I screwed up this week”: the truth is that wearing Invisalign braces has somewhat thrown a monkey wrench into my good eating habits. Every month on the 30^th I put in a new super tight tray and the lip/tongue biting thing starts anew.

This time I was ready. I kept myself moderately full and I didn’t go near stores where I could score ice cream or vanilla shakes. (Thankfully I broke the vanilla shake habit in days, just missed a really terrible habit. The longer a bad habit goes on, the more difficult it is to break.) This time around I made a lot of smoothies and ate a lot of mashed food.

I didn’t exactly mess up this week. But I did make a chocolate cake with homemade chocolate frosting — yum-city!! — for one son who loves chocolate. I really wanted a piece, but adhered to my plan of saying to myself, if you really want that cake, you can have it in the morning with coffee.

Which is exactly what I did. So I wouldn’t call that messing up per se.

So instead of saying to myself, woe is me. I can never have fun-food in my life ever again. (Whimper, whimper.)

I say, If I want a slice I can have it in the morning with coffee.

The REP (Royal Eating Plan) is alive and well. If I want something fun and decadent, I tell me, just have it in the morning. The most wonderful part of the REP is that I never feel left out because I “can’t have” what everyone else is having. I can have it, it just has to happen in the morning

Check out this study that came to the same conclusion as me, they call it “food-timing.” ♥

Pearl Four

You guys, you will feel so virtuous eating this dish. Even better, it’s full-on yum!

A bunch of sweet potatoes showed up in my kitchen today. So I skinned two, and chopped them into cubes, then swished them around in a bowl with the following:

3 Tbl. Olive oil

Balsamic vinegar (I love Costco’s)

One small sweet onion (chopped)

2 garlic cloves or a Tbl. of the minced garlic that comes in a jar.

A pinch of salt and pepper.

To roast, I put parchment paper on a baking sheet (optional), and tossed the sweet potato squares onto the parchment.

Turn on the oven to 400 degrees. Let the squares roast for on one side for 15 minutes, pull them out of the oven, and turn them over. Now roast for another 20 minutes. And you’re good to go. (I had to play around with the temperature and time in the oven because initially mine weren’t golden, but black. So keep an eye on them.)

While the sweet potato and onion were roasting, I made brown rice which is super easy. All you do is boil 2.5 cups water. Once the water is in full-boil, add one cup of brown rice and then bring the rice to a boil (happens in seconds). Finally put a lid on the rice and turn the stove down to simmer for about 50 minutes.

I only wish I had had broccoli and baby tomatoes, because then I’d have felt triply virtuous!! I found this keeper of a recipe on AllRecipes.com. ♥

Pearl Five

Three months from now you will thank yourself.” — Alex Peterson ♥

The Holiday Healthy Weight Challenge!! Okay, we’re at seven weeks and six days until the U.S. Thanksgiving. My goal is to workout each day on my indoor bike. It’s been up and down. I’m not proud, but I get so impatient with myself because it’s a hard habit to establish. But even when I realize that I’m not riding my bike, I don’t give up, I merely hop on the bike and petal. With any new habit: give yourself good cues, and never give up on the original plan.

Have a wonderful weekend!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to leave a comment below and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I am an Amazon affiliate so if you buy something through a link at this site, I may receive a small commission that won’t impact your price at all.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Did you see the movie with Meryl Streep — Defending Your Life — where she dies and lands in limbo featuring food with zero calories? Streep’s Julia happily slurps a plate of fettuccine Alfredo, plows through crusty bread and drinks incredible wine. Women everywhere we’re like, “OMG. Hope limbo exists!”

But here on Earth magnificent calories are everywhere:

• We watch coworkers inhale enormous Chipotle burritos for lunch.
• We see our family plow into bowls of cookies & cream after a lasagna dinner.
• And we’re besieged with food-porn: on commercials, on shows and movies themselves, and splashed across social media.

It seems like everybody gets to eat! All the time!

Except us. 🙁

Tough Love That Ensures Loss.

Thing is — after menopause — to exist in our food-wealthy world and simultaneously keep our weight down, we have to be dedicated to developing the necessary muscles to make weight loss happen.

To lose fifty-five — and later, maintain — I developed the muscles slowly over many, many months. Some muscles took years. And, let’s be honest, in the beginning my muscles were like over-cooked pasta.

I love how Seth Godin says, “take the long-cut.” Get it? Instead of trying to find the short-cut, plan to take your time — habits require time and conscious effort to truly embed themselves into our lives.

The bottom line — no pun — is that you and I must be smart about how we engage with food if we want to stay at a specific weight.

Best Question Ever to Ask Yourself.

As I’ve re-trained my brain to make smart food choices, I default into this question all day long:

• Do I want to be a size 8 or do I want to have pancakes on Sunday with the family?
• Do I want to be a size 8 or do I want to chow down on the (awesome) plates of Mexican food everyone’s having?
• Do I want to be a size 8 or do I want to dive into pizza with the kids (this last one was tough, but giving up pizza helped me drop five. Today I eat pizza twice a year, not twice a month like I once did).

Keep in mind that I did not use this question when I was wearing a size 16. I took my goal of losing fifty-five pounds one step at a time, so back in the day I’d ask myself: Do I want to be a size 14 or do I want to eat several Kit Kat bars?

Fine-tune this question to your life. Try one of these and see how it feels:

• Do I want to fit comfortably into my jeans or do I want BBQ?
• Do I want to lower my blood pressure or do I want an ice cream sundae?
• Do I want to be down five pounds for Thanksgiving or do I want waffles?

Do I Take the Question on Vacation?

My bullet-proof question is never off-duty. It works on special holidays, at work, for birthdays, and it does double-shifts on vacation. The deal I make with myself is that if I want to go on a trip, the question comes too.

Take last weekend, we spent three memorable days visiting my husband’s brother and darling family in Savannah, and I asked myself on the trip, “Do I want to be a size 8 or would I rather eat one of those gorgeous maple bars everyone is having for breakfast?” Believe me, I asked variations of this question a lot.

Back from the trip do I feel like I ruined our weekend by not eating the calorie-crazy food? Not even a little bit.

Is it Fair?

It’s not at all fair that everyone gets to have a daily food party, except for you and me. But nobody packs on weight like women over 50. Our bodies horde calories like we’re preparing for a long Dakota winter.

The habit of asking yourself this invaluable question does not develop in a day. Do everything you can to remind yourself to use the question: tape sticky notes around your house with the question. Create a screen saver with the question. Alarm your phone so that when the alarms go off you’ll remind yourself to ask the question. Tattoo the question on your arm (kidding, but you get the idea).

And don’t forget that it takes 66-days (based on the study I love out of England) to form a solid habit. Take Seth’s “long-cut,” you’ll see amazing results. And once you establish the habit of asking this important question? Keep it close to your heart forever.

I’d love to hear what Q. you’ll ask yourself!

And remember, it’s not just your imagination. Health is hard!

♥, Wendy

Happy Friday, All! Let me know how you’re doing with the long weekend!

Pearl One

I’m currently knee-deep in 1938 Manhattan. A Rolls Royce with driver, a glittering Park Avenue apartment and $10,000 diamond chandelier earrings figure prominently.

But here’s the part I love: the author juxtaposes the wealthy world to a more humble man’s way of life. We hear the advice from the heroine’s dad through her thoughts:

“Whatever setbacks he had faced in his life, he said, however daunting or dispiriting the unfolding of events, he always knew that he would make it through, as long as when he woke in the morning he was looking forward to his first cup of coffee.” ― Amor Towles, Rules of Civility

This is my take on the dad’s advice to Katie: summer cottages at the Hamptons are cool and all, but the true luxury in life is the ability to cherish the smallest of pleasures.

Whew.

Isn’t that a good one?

Her dad’s insight applies to our “losing after 50” life too: learning to appreciate the small treasures that have nothing to do with the food-on-steroids in our culture.

Instead a book so exceptional that we finish the last chapter a changed woman; a lengthy cuddle with our fur-sweethearts total attention on our furs-kids rather than multitasking as we scratch their heads; or noting a beautiful walk on a crisp December morning, these are the “desserts” that don’t clash with our smart eating lives.

Nothing against luxuries. As a travel writer, five-star hotels are a blast, but Amor Towles brings it when he says it’s not the chic addresses, or diamonds, or three Michelin starred meals that make a life.

It’s the little things.

Journal-write about what brings you joy – that don’t involve calories – and refer back to your wisdom daily. ♥

Pearl Two

Do you know about this amazing site? The first tier (that I’ve used for years) is totally free, and it’s the coolest.

AllTrails.com reviews every walk/bike/run trail in your town or city. Same when you’re on vacation many places in the world. Looking for a moderately-challenging, but shaded walk? Or are you hoping to find an easy hike to a waterfall? How about a path that passes a dog park?

It’s all at AllTrails.com. ♥

Pearl Three

Last week I wrote that mid- to late-November is the ideal time to tell people in our life, “Please no food gifts.”

So several readers asked, then what should we ask for?

Good point.

I put together this inexpensive list that uplevels all of our smart eating lives. I have every single one of these items below and can attest: awesome.

Pink and Gold Measuring Cups and Spoons. These beauties make a gorgeous gift to give or receive. I actually keep four sets of measuring cups and spoons – albeit not this fancy — in an easy-to-access cupboard because I measure everything. I separate the spoons for easier use. This set all in gold is really pretty too.

Snuggly Snowflake Slipper Socks. I live in slipper socks even in the Atlanta-summers.

Insulated Lunch Bag. I take my petite carrots, baby tomatoes, sliced cucumber, an occasional hardboiled egg and yogurt to eat in the car when I’m running errands.

Books perfect for dessert in the evenings. (Although maybe skip asking for the “Elephant in the Room” for the holidays. People might not appreciate getting Elephant in the Room from you.

Digital Kitchen Scale Digital Weight Grams and Ounces (Stainless Steel).

Reusable Silicone Baking Cups Muffin Liners. I’ve had these exact muffin cup liners for three years. Easy to use, easy to clean. And I never have to worry about running out.”

High Performance Ultra Light No Show Socks. These socks rock for walking.

Heat Resistant Oven Mitts. Love, love, love these guys. Have a red pair that’ve lasted for years.

Hat for the Cold in Leopard. I’m at the dog park for an hour every single day. Late fall into spring it is cold, so I bundle up and top myself off in this hat.  

Pretty Jacket I Love for the Brrr Temps. I rarely buy a new coat or jacket, but I had lunch with a friend who was in therapy to learn to handle a super rough diagnosis. Her therapist suggested she buy a jacket in a color she’d never before considered for herself. She bought an electric blue. I thought it was a great idea, so I bought a jacket in bright green and love it. It keeps me warm when the temps drop into the 40s. (Photo of me in jacket below.)

For the baseball person Lover: Baseball 100.

I hope these gift ideas inspire you to think of new ways to support yourself as you go forward on this quite difficult path we’ve chosen. ♥

Pearl Four

Years into maintenance, I’ve extinguished my evening sugar-athon. However – don’t get me wrong – I had a bad relationship with sugar for years.

But.

We cannot transform a thousand eating habits overnight.

Here’s what I loved to eat in December before I kicked my sugar habit:

• Pepperidge Farm’s Gingerbread Men. Tiny, low calorie, and serving size four. However, not sure how the supply chain problem will impact our little guys, but in normal times I find mine at Kroger.

• Trader Joe’s French Macarons (find in frozen section near the ice cream) – Macarons are a great choice for a low calorie dessert (110 calorie for three macarons). Pair macarons with decaf coffee in the evening or hot tea and you have yourself a nice dessert. My review: More!

• The Santa Clausmopolitan. My thought: Pretty and yum. ♥

• The Simple Candy Cane – At 60 calories per, a candy cane is a classic go-to (dating back to 1670). My only problem: because a candy cane is just 60, I occasionally went bananas and ate 300 calories worth at a sitting. The moral? Don’t be me.

Pearl Five

You don’t get results from focusing on results. You get results from focusing on the actions that produce results.” – Mike Hawkins ♥

I hope you’re having a peaceful holiday weekend.

With love,

♥ Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Easy Christmas Crafts to Make and Sell 

Make This Stunning Light Up Christmas Display From Dollar Store Bowls

2021 Christmas Tour First Stop The Dining Room

Christmas In The Dining Room

Salt Dough Cookie Garland

Simple Vintage Inspired Ornaments

Twine Tree Tutorial

Whipped Topping Candy

Christmas Cheer With Father Christmas

A Gift Guide & Yesteryear Wisdom for Our Arduous Trek When Losing After 50

Snowmen Bring Christmas Cheer to the Fireplace

Photo by Pexel.

Happy Friday! My backyard at the moment is blanketed in 14-karat gold leaf (the picture is not my backyard.) It looks like a movie set. I hope life is beautiful where you are.

Pearl One

There’s a beloved how-to for writers called Bird-by-Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott.

One of many cool takeaways Anne shares is: “E.L. Doctorow once said that ‘Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.’ You don’t have to see where you’re going, you don’t have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you.” (Pink emphasis mine.)

I love this quote so much.

As humans we seem wired to “look down the road” and if we can’t see five years into our future? Then we’re done. Losing weight at my age just won’t happen for me. No way will I be able to maintain smart eating for five years. No way on earth.”

Yes Way!

When we take a seemingly mammoth project day-by-day, hour-by-hour, heck, moment-by-moment, all of a sudden we we can bring our dream to life. ♥

Pearl Two

In another lifetime, I knew a woman who didn’t consider it a “real” manicure if the nail polish wasn’t from Chanel. (I know.)

Divas. For the longest time, I thought divas were haughty, difficult women who were incredibly talented, but super entitled.

I was wrong. Turns out, the word diva comes from Italian’s “dea” that means goddess and was initially applied to opera singers who were so talented as to seem like goddesses.

Cool, right?

“In reality, divas are just the women who know what they want and demand to get it.” – Article in CR Fashion Book (think: Vogue).

I like the definition: knowing what we want. The “demand to get it” part for our purposes could instead be about wielding massive action (that I detail here: How Massive Action Creates Serious Weight Loss).

Getting better and better and better at identifying what we need and then taking it seriously and going at it with gusto, is at the heart of being a good diva. 🙂

A few examples.

• At home: “I need sleep.”
• At a restaurant: “I need a carry-out box.”
• In grief: “I need time to cry.”
• In the kitchen: “I need more measuring cups and spoons.”
• At home: “I’m bored, I need a good book.”
• Daily: “I need a long walk.”
• The introvert: “I need time alone.”
• The extrovert: “I need people.”
• All of us: “I need beautiful comfortable sheets and an electric blanket in November.”
• In the closet: “I’m always in black and navy. I need color.”

You see where I’m going. Let’s take back the word “diva” because it never meant a talented, but difficult woman. It always meant goddess. (Sheesh.)

If the idea of going diva sounds overwhelming, commit to one day of living in diva-thought. One day too long? Try being a diva for one hour. And progress from there.

Going goddess is one of the most fun ways to bringing our dreams into reality. ♥

Pearl Three

From My Self-Sabotage Department. Readers are under the (very) wrong impression that I’m perfect re: food.

I worry that I’ve misled you.

Now keeping in mind that I’m in protection-mode (what we once called “maintenance)This morning I had two Toaster Strudels with my coffee. Two. Plural. And all that sugar and fat and preservatives tasted amazing.

That was this morning, this afternoon The Scarfer brought home a bag of my favorite hard candy (Werther’s Original in sugar free, so good). Do I eat one? Of course not. As I type six tiny ripped open bags are sprinkled across my desk. (Can I do anything in moderation??)

I know. You’re thinking, “you call two Toaster Strudels and six hard candies a binge?? You don’t get me at all, lady.”

Wrong! I know a real binge when I see one. Trust me when I say that having kept off 55 for 16 years now, my binges look different today from my heavy years (when nothing in the kitchen was safe. Nothing).

My point: don’t self-sabotage yourself into thinking that to accomplish your dreams, perfection is required.

Not only isn’t it required, but unless you’re Chris Hemsworth perfection doesn’t even really exist. ♥

Pearl Four

Food gifts. As I write, it’s mid-November. This is the moment in time when I remind friends and family, “remember, no food gifts for me! And thank you for understanding!”

This holiday season, don’t give yourself an easy exit by eating food you wouldn’t otherwise let pass your lips because “it was a gift! I had to eat it. All.”

Close all exits by letting everyone in your world know that food gifts for you are a no-go. When they ask you what you would like? Suggest the beautiful gold and pink measuring cup and spoon sets that any Inspired Eater would love. (I have four sets — not fancy — at the ready because I measure almost everything. I don’t care how good you are, “eye-balling will double your portions. Always measure.

So if someone forgets and gives me a box of chocolates or a plate of cookies, I’ll likely re-gift without guilt because everyone had been forewarned. ♥

Pearl Five

“All women are goddesses, and it’s just a matter of letting that goddess-power shine and if you don’t try to be the biggest and baddest damn goddess you can be, you are selling yourself short.” – Kimora Lee Simmons ♥

Happy mid-November everyone. Just wanted to share: if you’re in need of a super sweet show, try Love on the Spectrum. Netflix. Start with season two.

So, so sweet.

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Denim card holder & photo by Melissa at MemoriesByQueenBee

I’ve tried to write this post at least twice, but stopped worried that you might take this pearl the wrong way.

Here goes.

Pearl One

For starters, I’m not saying that you and I have a narcissist personality disorder (for short: called NPD).

Not at all.

Someone with an NPD diagnosis has a complete lack of empathy for others, is very self-involved, maintains only transactional relationships, and all of this fun rests on a bed of worthlessness and permeates every tiny corner of his or her life. Meaning it’s not like someone with NPD is only monstrous at home but a sweetheart in the office.

NPD pervades the person’s life.

Okay, now that’s off my chest, we can return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Everyone has pockets of narcissism.

An example. Long before kids, I volunteered with animal rescue groups. I raised money, fostered and so forth. If I saw a scared dog running down the street, I’d stop and help the love bug out. (I even kept a leash in the car for such a four-legged situation.)

Over the years I fostered more and more animals. Raised more and more money. Kept several fosters. And – of course – eventually burned out.

And there you have an example of my “pocket of narcissism.”

Narcissistic pockets are like when you:

• Think, “of course I can lose weight even if my family wants the cupboards packed with three different kinds of chips and a freezer bulging with ice cream. (At least in the first two or three years you need a “clean” kitchen. Family junk food eaters can hide stuff in top cupboards.)
• Stay up into the wee hours reading (thinking, “I’ll be fine in the morning”, when you’re inevitably zonked).
• Tell your friend. “Sure, I can sit with your elderly mother every Friday afternoon” (when you’d planned on keeping Fridays for a little down time. You think, “It’ll be fine, I can hang out with Norah).

You get the idea.

So how do pockets of narcissism play out in our losing-after-50 lives?

Well we’re deep into the pocket of narcissism when we get disgusted with ourselves for not losing “fast enough”, for not being “better” at losing, or even for not being able to fit into our favorite jeans.

You know how fish don’t know they’re in water? Noticing your own pockets of narcissism is initially like that. You’ve been playing the (exhausted) hero your entire adult life. At this point it just seems normal. ♥

Pearl Two

How do we know when we’re in a narcissistic pocket?

We’re in one when:

• We’re particularly critical of ourselves.
• Think we can take on way more than the average person.
• Notice that certain things we really care about aren’t happening.

How to Manage Our Pocket.

Managing our pocket will never be “one and done.” Knowing to stay on the lookout for our pockets is what straps us into the pilot’s seat.

Your Takeaway.

So, how to move forward with this new info? For starters:

• Ease up on the self-criticism. I mean, really turn down the volume. Journal-write about where the critical voice came from in the first place.
• Look at your “to-do” list and create a “to-don’t list.”
• Take steps towards talking to yourself in an understanding and supportive way. Ask yourself how thinking, I’m such an idiot actually works for you?
• Don’t expect yourself to lose weight throughout the coming holidays. In my mind, maintaining by January 1 is a diamond-studded win. ♥

Pearl Three

The Self-Sabotage Department. Where my great ideas go to die. I have a fab-habit of calendaring my tasks: not just appointments, but workouts, bathroom cleaning and so on.

This week I noticed that I’ve gotten looser and goosier with my calendar habit.

Beginning today I’m calendaring everything: workouts, daily food, sleep: all planned on the calendar.

Join me.

Pearl Four

I was awesome at eating a large daily salad. Then I went on a mostly liquid diet to calm down my TMJ. The TMJ was helped, but my great salad-habit careened off the road.

My plan forevermore: one bowl of salad a day. Here’s what I put together:

• First I put a half-teaspoon of olive oil and balsamic vinegar into a large bowl.
• Then I add two or three handfuls of Spring Mix leafy salad (or Sweet Kale from Costco.)
• Cut in half five or six black olives.
• Toss in baby carrots.
• Add chopped cucumber and chopped baby tomatoes.
• Put a half-teaspoon of olive oil onto the top along with balsamic vinegar.
• Add pepper.
• Then I sprinkle a bit of feta cheese over it all.

Serious yum. ♥

Pearl Five

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”
–Vincent Van Gogh ♥

If you’ve found this post helpful, please share with a friend or loved one. Very appreciated. Advertising budget is zero.

We’re just two weeks before Daylight Saving Time ends when we “fall back” an hour. I used to dislike this time-change thing so much because it got dark crazy early on the kids, but now I’m using it to my advantage. I plan to stay on my current sleep schedule but I’ll wake up at 6 a.m. while my body will still thinks it’s 7 a.m. (I need a quiet house, and this is my best chance.) 🙂

Stay well.

Hugs to you and yours,

♥, Wendy

p.s. Are you brand new to the Inspired Eater? Thank you for visiting!! I highly recommend reading the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find her to the right on this page under my short bio.). My posts won’t make a ton of sense if you haven’t first read Aunt Bea.

Some links may be affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases. Of course you incur no additional cost.

Pearl # 1

You and I evolved to be part of a pack. We’re not meant to be loners, and those of us who are, aren’t doing well.

With that in mind, how are we supposed to embed smart eating habits into our lives when the pack eats a gazillion calories a day?

Great question.

If someone sees that you plan your meals in advance, or watches as you order a small dinner, members of the pack might say, “Oh, you’re on one of your diets” or that it’s “unhealthy to make such a big deal about food.”

But when you’re living from an internal locus, it doesn’t bother you because you alone make the decision about what and much and at what time you eat.

Take last week. It was late afternoon and I was “eating before I eat.” My husband and son – who’ve both lived with me for awhile now — ganged up and said, “We’re having dinner in 45 minutes, can’t you wait?”

I said, “If I show up at the dinner table super hungry, I’ll overeat.” Duh.

You’re the Boss of You.

For success on this trek of losing after 50, it’s necessary that you get comfortable standing up for yourself when everyone has an opinion on how and what you eat. When they make comments, say thanks for caring and change the subject. I’ve also used, “losing weight has made my back feel so much better.” (Which is true.)

One more example, say you’re driving home from a family outing, and — out of the blue — everyone wants ice cream. You think, that does sound good and pull into Brusters.

But here’s the thing: you hadn’t been thinking about ice cream at all. You’d been thinking about something else entirely. Because the family had ice cream on the brain, you end up eating ice cream with them.

Feeling like we’re out of the pack triggers one thing; our survival cave-woman brain. The best way to get back into the pack? Pizza and beer with friends on Friday!

It takes time and patience to build the confidence-muscle when you’re establishing new eating habits. Your confidence-muscle is likely a baby now, but gets stronger the more you use it. One day the confidence-muscle will have your back when you tell a friend at Starbucks, “thank you but I don’t want a chocolate cookie Frappuccino. Just coffee with almond milk which will go perfectly with my purse-snack.”

Eventually the food police among us will become bored with your new-normal and will start bugging someone else, or get back to their own lives. ♥

Pearl #2

Is food fuel or fun for you? Back in the day, food was one hundred percent fun for me. To be fair it was probably more like 85 percent. But then I lost the weight and gained solid habits along the way.

Today fifteen years into maintenance, I’ve flipped those percentages. Now I eat for fuel (fruits, veggies, brown rice etc.) ninety percent of the time and keep it to about ten percent “fun food.”

In our culture there are too many reasons to eat poorly: he graduated, she had a baby, he found a job, she got into her college of choice. Then there’s the holidays, anniversaries and so on.

If we’re being honest with ourselves we can always come up with a reason to eat fun food. These days I can easily tell when I’m eating for fuel, or having the occasional treat. ♥

Pearl 3

Last night I had a fleeting thought of, gee, more food before bed sure sounds good. (I wasn’t actually hungry-hungry, I was more sugar-hungry.)

But then I told myself: you’re having lunch with your son tomorrow. You can have something special then.

And with that, I went to bed perfectly happy.

Learning supportive self-talk is key to making smarter food choices. ♥

Pearl # 4

The Self-Sabotage Department. This is what I heard this week, you’re too old to (insert project).

Mainly, by simply calling out the saboteur and giving her a name, her power dissipates. Yet sometimes I think there might be a kernel of truth in her point, so in those cases I give more thought to what she’s bugging me about.

First, I sleep on it. The saboteur delivers her most damage right before bed. The next day, I write in my journal, and work to separate the critical saboteur voice from my “hey this needs your attention” voice.

The holidays are just a moment away and this is my time of year to overdo it: over-bake, over-buy presents, over-decorate and so forth. Traditionally the saboteur voice is like a slow drum beat in my head: it’s not enough, it’s not enough, it’s not enough.

So instead of indulging in my usual overdoing, this year I’ll journal about my tendency to go big, and work to separate the saboteur from an appropriate participation t in the holiday season. ♥

Pearl # 5

“Don’t practice until you get it right. Practice until you can’t get it wrong.” — Unknown ♥

A request: Will you share a food or recipe that you love that combines the healthy with the fun (from Pearl Two). Comment below and I’ll pull the ideas together for a future blog post.

Happy October 1 everybody!

♥, Wendy

P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

Some links may be affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases. Of course you incur no additional cost.

Emotional Eating.

For those of us who grew up in a challenging childhood, food was a whole new ballgame: we grew up using food as a substitute for what we weren’t getting at home.

For emotional eaters, food can be quite the chameleon. Just tell the box of grocery store donuts what you need, and — presto — the donuts will provide:

• Soothing after trauma (one horrific incident or many years of abuse)
• Excitement when we’re bored to tears.
• Distraction when real life is a pain in the tush.
• Anesthesia when we’re too despondent to move.
• A cloak when we want extra weight to help us disappear, i.e. blend in.

But let’s back up a moment.

Say a person’s childhood was particularly difficult. Many turned to liquor, cigarettes, drugs, over-dieting (anorexia) or over-dating.

We, on the other hand, preferred the comfort of chocolate cake.

Food’s Innocent, Right?

The thing is: food isn’t illegal and doesn’t fry our brain cells. Food doesn’t cause lung cancer (although beware: food’s a culprit in many diseases including cancer). Food returns our calls, it never leaves us wondering. Food doesn’t criticize or place demands on us. In short, food is a dear friend.

But here’s where the problem lies: the very substance we used to navigate a difficult childhood, is the exact thing that’s causing us major trouble as an adult.

Yes, food was immense comfort to us when we were young, but today the crutch is no longer needed yet we still clamp onto food like Linus with his blankie.

Our One-Time Friend Goes Rogue.

Today, rather than diving deep into food and childhood trauma, we’ll look at how to slowly shake off the habit of using food to soothe.

(That said, food will never allow us to transform bad habits to good ones unless the trauma is addressed. You’ll only get irritated with yourself for being “unsuccessful again.” Which isn’t what’s happening at all. What’s happening is that trauma needs to be acknowledged and treated in a safe, caring environment. Only you know if it’s time to get one-on-one support from a skilled therapist.)

For those who feel ready to change old overeating habits to good habits, let’s do this.

Journaling Gems.

I will never stop talking about how valuable writing (or typing) is for our mental health. I don’t believe in magic, but something incredibly important happens when we write. I’ve written stuff and thought, “what the heck? where did that come from?!”

In your journal write with abandon to:

• What food meant to me and how I used it when I was under twelve (give at least three answers):
• What food meant to me when I was a teen:
• Same question: when I was in my 20’s:
• In my 30’s:
• 40’s:
• What food means to me today:
• What are three small steps I can make today and this entire week to engage with food in a new healthier way:
• Today I will:
• This week I will:
• On a scale of one to ten (one being not at all, ten being totally onboard) how committed am I to making these three small steps come to life?
• If my score is low, how can I raise it?
• Deep down I know that I’m not terribly committed because:
• What positive thought can I use to remind myself that this time my efforts will produce great results?

Re-visit the three small steps every morning this week and then strategize (on paper) how you’ll incorporate the strategies into your life.

In the end, food may have ushered us successfully through childhood, but it’s now causing trouble. Thank food for the comfort it brought. And now, turn the page to a new chapter in your life that puts food into it’s proper place (sometimes fun; mostly fuel). ♥

You are the loveliest group! I can’t say enough about how wonderful you guys are. It also appears that many of us are dog- and cat-people.

And please keep sending questions or concerns, it helps me better understand where my focus should be.

Have a wonderful week,

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And given that computers can be so difficult, always feel free to ask in the comments below for Aunt Bea and I’ll get her right to you!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Meeko, 10, is the supermodel for The Chic Dog Boutique ‘s stunning doggie jewelry collection.

I’ve noticed that so many of us love animals.

But I promise. This is not a “walk your dog for better health” post.

Here we go.

Pearl # 1

I run my German shepherd daily to keep his ten-year-old self in shape, and it occurred to me that what you and I do for our darling fur-people in their senior years is an interesting tutorial for our own lives.

Some examples:

• I make sure River moves daily. Instead of running him for a full hour like I once did, I break his walks into two: one in the morning and another in the evening. Translation for humans: Incorporating fitness into several parts of our day might be more do-able than one great burst of a workout.
• I won’t let River become overweight. He’s fairly sedentary now, so keeping calories light is vital. Today snacks are banana, carrots, cut up apple, cucumber and the like. Translation: I know, you know, but it bears repeating that you and I need fewer calories these days too.
• I keep it fun for River. For example I put him on a sit/stay and hide his breakfast or dinner bowl somewhere on the first floor of our house. I then yell, “find!” And he tears through the rooms looking for his food. He usually finds it quickly, but I’ve stumped him a couple of times. In other words, I do all I can to stave off his boredom. Translation: Losing after 50 is no walk in the park. Snoozy-food causes big trouble. Keep healthy food that excites you on hand 24/7.
• I brush – actually, Furminate – River daily. I want him to feel pampered and loved. Translation: Make the extra effort to take care of yourself. That might mean asking your partner for a foot rub or it might mean a professional massage. Be creative and come up with ways to Furminate yourself. Daily.
• At ten, River naps more. Translation: don’t fight a siesta. If you need to close your eyes, close your eyes. ♥

Pearl # 2

Here’s the thing, we think terrible, awful, no-good unhelpful thoughts about ourselves on the regular. Dare I say it: we can be very hard on us. Check out this tool that will keep your brilliance front-and-center.

What is one of the proudest experiences of your life?

I’m talking about a successful experience that will always leave you thinking, I can’t believe it, but I did it. I actually did it. I’m talking about the kind of success that’ll melt your heart even when you’re 98.

For me, that experience is homeschooling my two. I will forever be astounded at what the four of us – my husband and the “boys” – accomplished.

Okay. Now watch how I embed the memory into my daily life.

First, in my mind, I choose an object.

For myself, I choose the first Little House book by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I then direct myself to infuse the Little House book with the elation and pride I will always carry in my heart about homeschooling.

I then ask myself to make the Little House book huge like a mountain in my mind. I do.

Then to make it tiny like a diamond ring. Again, I do.

Finally I make the book a regular size, and coach myself to recall this image daily. The idea is that every time I think of the book, I’ll be immediately flooded with wondrous pride at homeschooling my two from snickerdoodles into incredible young men.

Now it’s your turn. Think of a time when you blew your own mind. Embed that fabulous experience into one object. Objects can be an image of a tall pine, a 4^th of July firework’s finale, even a green sea turtle you once saw in Hawaii.

Now mentally place your “overflowing pride” memory into, say, the sea turtle. In your mind make the turtle huge, then small and finally medium. (You’re showing yourself that you have control over your turtle-thought.)

This tool is a way to quickly bridge into remembering your strengths.

Sixty-six days of sea turtle, here we come. ♥

Pearl # 3

Last week I said that I’d share the self-sabotaging thoughts that hammer me daily (ex: this is too hard, you can’t do this, this is for others and so forth).

These notes are from last week.

This week I didn’t notice as many self-sabotage thoughts as self sabotage behavior. And yet, I know that a thought always comes before a behavior.

For example, I love to work in a spruced-up, clean environment. Do I start the day with a clean desk and tidy as I go through the day? Heck no.

Turns out my self sabotage behaviors were so ingrained that they’d become terrible habits that needed to be rooted out and replaced with good habits.

So I started to dig into my self sabotage thoughts that lead to my cluttery desk: I don’t have time to clean it, I have a doctor’s appointment. Not now, I have to go to sleep. This afternoon I’ll clean it. I’ll clean it in the morning. Tomorrow for sure I’ll clean it.

Challenge: Don’t allow self sabotaging thoughts to run amok in your mind. Dig deep and replace those thoughts and behaviors with habits that will have your back forever. (Here I go, 66-days to embed my new clean-desk behavior. Today is Day 1, I’ll let you know how the next 59 go.) ♥

Pearl # 4

Tim Ferriss keeps only four books on his desk at all times. This is one of the four. The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz.

The publish date is vintage – 1959 – but the ideas packed within are eternal. Schwartz writes about how to be a self-starter, how to stay the path, and most of all how to create a bigger life than you’d ever imagined possible.

I don’t know where Mr. Schwartz learned all of this good stuff, but he nailed it. Run, don’t walk.

I can’t wait to hear what you think about The Magic of Thinking Big. ♥

Pearl # 5

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” ♥

Christopher Reeves

We’re charting new territory, learning to eat well within a food-gone-wild culture. There will be obstacles, but that’s okay because we’re learning: we can do hard things.

Remember you and I are forever beautiful works in progress.

I try to remember this thought throughout my day. Let’s remember it together.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Have you read Buh-Bye Aunt Bea Bod: 13 Tools to Lose Weight & Maintain a Forever Loss?

I packed Aunt Bea with every essential method I used to lose fifty-five and still use today.

Remember getting your driver’s license? How learning to drive wasn’t a “one and done” thing? Same with Aunt Bea. The Aunt Bea post is your ride to embedding Smart Eating habits into your life, habits that will have your back forever.

You can find Aunt Bea on this screen to your right. Just add your email and click the pink button. You’ll be sent an Aunt Bea email. If you don’t see an email within thirty minutes, check your spam. And always feel free to contact me: Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com.

Or better yet, click Begin Here. ♥♥♥ Print Aunt Bea, and tape her inside a kitchen cupboard, on your car’s dash, under your pillow, and so forth.

Apply to life as needed. 🙃

Q and A day!

And on that note, if you’d like to ask a question about how I reined in my eating to be answered in a September/October post, please ask in the comment section below! (All names will be changed.)

A reader says:

My husband is an eater and doesn’t care that he’s heavy. It’s hard to eat well around him. I end up having what he’s having.

He ruins my eating plans entirely.

Anne-nonymous

Dear Anne,

This was my problem in spades when I first decided to lose for good.

I call my husband The Scarfer (a nickname that would horrify me, but he finds hilarious).

Turns out my sweet husband has “food insecurity” (his term) from kid-hood. At times, there wasn’t enough food on hand for a family of seven, and he learned young to eat as much as possible when the opportunity presented.

But I didn’t know this back in the day. All I knew was that I’d married a devoted eater. One day, it occurred to me that I had to separate my eating issues from my husband’s — or I would always be at a weight that didn’t feel good to me.

In therapy-land, my aha moment is called “individuation.” Meaning I realized that I needed to establish in my own mind that I was a separate person entirely from my husband and his tendency to eat a dessert or three every evening.

Look at it this way: say your partner prefers to get up every morning at four. Or smokes. Or runs ten miles every other day. In all of these examples would you join him or her?

No way, right?

You can see the individuation with more extreme examples (up early, smokes, runs ten). Now apply that thinking to your own relationship.

The Art of the Friendly Request

Once I fully embedded my aha moment into my very being, I could then make smart, kind requests of him like:

• “Could you put the Entenmann’s cupcakes in the far back of the top cupboard where I can’t see or reach them? (Perk of aging: If it’s not in front of me, my memory is wiped.)”
• “If you want to make something for the kids on the weekends: could you make pancakes instead of waffles?”
• “Can you not buy Chunky Monkey or Rocky Road? But by all means, get the kind you love!”

Thinking Outside of the Brownie Box

When you’ve embedded that to live happily ever after, you must separate your eating from your partner’s, then the “how to live with an eater” ideas burble to the surface. For example:

• A coworker’s wife insists that he keeps his junk food at work — and out of their kitchen — and he happily complies.I eat very light at dinner. I’ll either make a salad or eat what the family’s eating, but I keep the portion small. (Note: the latter is only after twenty years of practice. You might want to stick with the salad for now.) Is it more time-consuming to make a salad for myself? Totally. And that’s okay. Nothing about losing after 50 is a breeze. Plus bonus: family members have gotten more involved in cooking! I know!!
• I tend to go to sleep early before the dessert extravaganza erupts in our kitchen (two young men-children plus The Scarfer).

The thing is, my husband has seen the eating changes I’ve made through the years, and has had his own success in eliminating some food-porn like chips from our grocery list. He’s somewhat living an intermittent fasting lifestyle, and has lost twenty. But through the years, I never said one word.His food anxiety. His body. His decisions.

I have my own eating issues and they’re different from his (noting the difference — learning to make peace with difference — is part of individuating).

We all engage with food differently: for many, food is love, for others a fun distraction from boredom, and others a habit entrenched when we were young.

In the end, I had to change how I related to meals and snacks with my husband in my life. My days of joining him in this were over.

I was never hostile or naggy or “disappointed in him.” I was simply firm, but smiley: “no donuts for me,” “I don’t eat ice cream anymore,” “if I eat pizza it’ll be at breakfast.” Note how often I use “me” or “I.” I don’t say, “You shouldn’t eat donuts!” I say, “No donuts for me!)

There’s no end game to losing and maintaining after 50. We have today, this hour, this minute to make our smart eating choices.

Because you and I will forever be beautiful works in progress.

I try to remember this thought throughout my day. Let’s remember it together.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

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I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥