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November + Thanksgiving

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People often have asked, how I’ve “done it.” No secrets at all about it. Here’s exactly how I’ve navigated challenging holidays like the week of Thanksgiving that we have coming up.

I remind myself, “Lady, Thanksgiving is but one day, not two or three or four. Actually? It’s just one meal”, I lean on this thought heavily throughout every holiday, but especially during Thanksgiving and Christmas.

If I’m feeling blue along the way as if I’m “missing out,” I gently remind myself of the fun I have to look forward to in 2025.

I’m never a drill sargent, I show a thoughtful respect towards myself. My attitude is that I’m important, and what I want is important so I’m definitely keeping myself on the Smart Eating Path this holiday week (with the help of a handful of smart tips).

I mean who doesn’t love Thanksgiving leftovers? Come on. The leftovers practically have their own holiday. To all of us who grew up in the clean-plate-parent era. it’s been drilled into us that wasting food is awful-slash-ungrateful given how many are hungry in the world, or went hungry during the Great Depression.

But if we’re full enough, why does throwing food into our stomachs sound like a better plan than tossing food into the trash? Makes no sense. One of my mom’s friends used to say, “the food can go to waste, or it can go to waist.” Now, there’s some wisdom.

This year, build an “exit” plan for leftovers: in your mind — or better, on paper – detail who can take which leftovers with them. I suggest even buying these cute to-go containers that you’ll look forward to using, are inexpensive and super adorable. These are perfect for Thanksgiving and both of these for Christmas here and here. These are so fun I wish that I was having guests this year so that I could use these containers.

If your guests won’t take leftovers leave them at your – or your partner’s – lunchroom on Friday. And don’t forget the huge family in the cul-de-sac would likely love holiday cookies and half of a pie. Same with the single person who doesn’t have a crowd to cook for.

But the name of this game: get the calories out of the house! Your stomach is not a trash can.

Just like wedding rings symbolize marriage and all that entails (love, fidelity, going thrifting together when a good pal can’t make it), this amazing tool comes to us from neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).

As you’re dressing each day during the week of Thanksgiving, pick one piece of jewelry and intentionally infuse the piece with meaning. Here’s what I do: I pick a ring, bracelet, scarf or manicure and tell myself that this ring symbolize my intent to stay on the Smart Eating Path for the week or the day of Thanksgiving.

I infuse into the ring how much I care about maintaining my Smart Eating Lifestyle and all that I will do to stay the course. I commit to the following. I will:

  • “eat before I eat” over the entire week of Thanksgiving. Curbing my appetite is key for me.
  • keep my portions sane (like the size of a fist).
  • plan to take a thirty-minute walk listening to my playlist labeled, “Please take my mind off food!” For me that’s Linda Ronstadt, Cher, Aretha, Whitney, Prince and all the gang!

The jewelry needs to be a piece that you don’t often use and one that you’ll be able to see on Thursday (in the U.S.) so earrings or tiaras are a “no.”

Think: a beautiful bracelet, a ring you don’t normally wear, even unusual nail polish; the idea is that every time you see the ring, bracelet or your index fingernail in pink when all the rest are in white, you’ll think, “Yep, I’m staying committed to the Smart Eating Lifestyle.” Having something external that’s in the moment with you is like having a little friend along for support.

The takeaway: in the hoopla of the holiday, infuse jewelry with meaning that reminds you of your main mission (making sure January first-you is thrilled because holiday-you didn’t go Cookie Monster on the holiday calories and throw her under the bus).

I make deals with myself: I tell myself that if I stick with my Thanksgiving eating plan, I’ll have a pedi the following Monday. Or maybe I’ll stick with smart eating plan and reward myself with extra hours to read a really fabulous book that takes me back to 1938 Manhattan (The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles).

We’re on an arduous trek: keep the fun, lose the calories.

Keeping it short and snappy: guys, want to hear what the thin people have always known? If the pie is their favorite food on Thanksgiving, they eat a super light meal — or no meal at all — and make pie their real meal!! Guess what I’m having for Thanksgiving?

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

  • Situation (something very concrete): It’s Thanksgiving Day in just three days.
  • Thought: Scenario one thinks “I’m not doing anything or seeing anybody. I’ll overeat due to loneliness” while scenario two thinks, “I’m doing too much and dealing with a boatload of people. I’ll end up overeating out of sheer frustration and stress.”
  • Feeling: A little blue in the former scenario. Overwhelmed and scattered in the latter.
  • Action: Scenario one drives to the local Taco Bell and gets “dinner.” Scneario two attempts to delegate cooking duties only to realize that nobody knows anything about her kitchen. Result: Both scenarios see each person feeling sad and drained.
  • Result: In scenario one, “I sat on the couch, ice cream bowl in hand.” In scenario two, “I was exhausted by the end of the day and crawled into bed.”
  •  Situation (something very concrete): It’s Thanksgiving Day in just three days.
  • Chosen thought: Scenario one thinks, “I need to remind myself over and over that I might be alone for Thanksgiving, but I have a great trip in April with my favorite girlfriend group.” and scenario two thinks, “I need to plan how the cooking of the meal goes so it doesn’t all fall on me. I need to keep this thought with me: “Don’t worry about being perfect. Make memories.” (Thank you to Nanen Hoffman for this gem.)
  • Feeling: Scenario one feels more included, less isolated. Scenario two feels a friendly calm descending.
  • Action: Scenario one spends the evening with a good book. Scenario two continues cooking and baking, but with more ease, not as frantic.
  • Result: Scenario one spends the evening reading a good book looking forward to the coming year. Scenario two chills long enough to enjoy her guests and all of the special food. ♥

And because every one loved her first book so much she wrote a sequel that’s also getting raves. And So I Roar is the amazing sequel. These two books paired together would make a fantastic gift for any reader (14+). Five thumbs up for this book-dessert.

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.”

Wade Boggs

One fun idea for the big upcoming holiday is a great movie. I’m hearing from people I trust that the new Wicked movie that just came out is AMAZING. As in, the movie knocks it out of the park which I’m so happy to hear. I took my sons when they were younger to see Wicked on Broadway and the live show was off-the-hook, so it’s wonderful to know that the movie can hold its own with the Broadway show. (I know of a mom and her daughter who see movies on the big holidays because they don’t have family nearby.) ♥♥♥

We’ve made it through Halloween and are speeding toward Thanksgiving (in the U.S.)  We’re headed into the Season of Calories and as I say every year: we don’t want to wake up our cavewoman! Let’s aim to preserve our hard work rather than try to lose weight right now. To force yourself to try to lose weight with all the merriment happening around us is not being supportive of our own selves and could possibly create an angry backlash (ie. our cavewoman waking up and going Cookie Monster on holiday).

Instead plan to preserve your hard work. Remember, plateaus are the good guys. Giving our body the time it needs to rest and adjust changes the whole weight loss equation. In November and December keep your cavewoman asleep by doing what I’ll be doing:

  • i stay on my eating plan.
  • i always eat before I eat.
  • I keep my cold-tote packed in healthy bites and by my side when I’m out of the house. I take opportunities to eat a tiny dinner by 6 p.m. and take a wonderful book to bed at 8 p.m.
  • If I’m still hungry and know I won’t eat, I have half of a banana and then lights out!
  • If I know in advance that at certain times I’ll struggle: I draw up a detailed plan about how I’ll handle each obstacle.

Let’s pretend that it’s New Year’s Day-you. Pull out your journal and ask New Year’s Day-you to write current day-you a letter: how does she feel when she wakes up that morning? What is she thrilled about (like you walked an hour all of Nov. and Dec.)? What helped her the most? She wants to thank you for ________________________. What does she wished you hadn’t worried about? What does she wished you’d focused on more? What does Jan. 1-you most want you to know?

  • Situation (be very concrete): My sister and entire family plus the Grandma are going to Hawaii for two weeks in December.
  • Thought: But I want to go to Hawaii!! I especially want to visit Honolulu where we spent time as kids and show my sons Pearl Harbor.
  • Feeling: Bummed. Disagreeable.
  • Action: Huff and puff around for a while.
  • Result: Get very little done.

  • Situation (be very concrete): My sister and entire family plus the Grandma are going to Hawaii for two weeks in Dec.
  • Chosen Thought: Wendy, you go on fancy trips for the articles you write. Be happy that Shelley is doing something wonderful in her life.
  • Feeling: Interested that I had such a strong reaction to Shelley’s trip that I hadn’t realized how much I wanted to see Hawaii again. Honolulu especially.
  • Action: I start looking up the cheapest times to travel to Honolulu. But then thinking that if our days of “laying out in the sun” are over beyond the first few days what will we do in Honolulu? I guess we should think about Maui or Kauai too. Plus is this really how I to want to spend money?

These three funny books come to you recommended via GQ magazine. I’ve dipped into all three and will finish The Idiot by next weekend! It was hard to choose the first one to read because every chapter of each book drew me in immediately with each having a wry, strong writer’s voice.

I want as much funny in my life as I can get. These three books all grounded in humor. The first is I Was Told There’d Be Cake by Sloane Crosley. The second chapter opens, “I’ve never met two people more afraid of the house burning down as my parents.” Highly recommend.

The Idiot by Elif Batuman, The story starts with the advent of email. Great story.

No One Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July. College kids at Harvard. The book was named one of “the top ten fiction books of 2007” by Time Magazine. Reviews say that it’s “laugh out loud” funny. I’m in.

I started a book gift list two posts back. I know that finding the right gift is tough. I’m hoping my list helps:

I’m still hoping those of you with a scarfing partner will email me! I’m writing about scarfers and how they can all be a little different. I want to address the different types. Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Have a great week!

Pearl One

A dear friend and I did a “girlfriend’s cruise” together. Over lunch one day, she asked what I thought about intuitive eating, and in a flash I realized that I’d been intuitively eating all week on the cruise ship.

At hearing her question, it got me thinking about the various weight loss methods that I’ve been asked about over the last three years.

Take a look.

Intuitive Eating

Intuitive eating is a very cerebral approach to weight loss, only to be considered after you’ve preserved (maintained) your loss for fifteen years.

No, I’m not kidding.

It’s like we need to crawl before we can walk.

When we’re attempting to eat intuitively, we’re told to “listen to our stomach’s needs”, to “honor our health” and “discover the satisfaction factor.”

Honor our health?! What does that even mean?

I never fooled with intuitive eating until I lost the fifty-five pounds and preserved the loss for 18 years. I probably went overboard and could have give IE a chance at year-15.

In the years before? No way. (It was just a beautiful idea that did not produce hard-core results.)

Look at it this way, pretend we’re in third grade and intuitive eating is in a PhD program.

Intermittent Fasting

Others have asked what I think about intermittent fasting (IF). Initially I was interested in the concept of IF, but several red flags soon popped up for me.

One, I know that I’m outside of the norm, but I don’t think that choosing the open window (time-wise) of eating is a good idea. In my experience, the best plan is to eat a large breakfast, moderate lunch, a snack in the afternoon, and a tiny dinner at 6 p.m. (Decreasing evening eating is a heavy-lifter in our toolbox.)

And two, when we’re told that “we can eat whatever we want,” it means that we’re not establishing smart eating habits along the way that will create a forever-loss.   

Overeaters Anonymous

Then we come to Overeaters Anonymous (OA). A reader asked me about OA and I told her, “I’ve never used OA myself, but I know women who speak very highly of their program.”

Why I didn’t use OA back in the day? I have no idea. A lost opportunity for sure. (I was young and likely too mortified to talk about my eating habits in public.)

If you know much about Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous, OA provides a similar support-approach. There’s no charge and they’re not commercial. OA is 100-percent about working with those of us who don’t engage well with food.

It’s my belief that pairing OA and the Inspired Eater will produce astonishing results in your life.

Pearl Two

I know.

It’s hard.

You’ll get no argument from me. Losing weight at our age is no picnic. And maintaining in December? Surprise! Not as easy as you might think either.

But amazing news: you and I can do hard things.

I repeated this gem of a saying to myself over and over when I was dealing with – like most of us — the hospital and some really invasive (rude) tests.

Because of these five little – but powerful – words I maintained my dignity when life was stuck in extra-hard mode.  

I. Can. Do. Hard. Things. Use liberally throughout December.

Pearl Three

In pearl three we closely examine Atomic Habits.

James Clear tell us in Atomic Habits, “The problem is not slipping up; the problem is thinking that if you cannot do something perfectly, then you shouldn’t do it at all…”

Ohmygosh, this quote is so me. Before I’d had my aha moment (late 90s), I was either starving (thinking that was how to lose weight) or eating everything that wasn’t nailed down.

I thought being really hungry was just part of losing weight. I assumed that thin people were just better at dealing with their hunger. And I know I thought that I was the only person on the planet who misused food. Seriously.

Where do you fall? Do you “all or nothing” it?

Because one of the biggest mindshifts you can make is allowing room for error or “slips.”

Shifting from “all or nothing” to “I’m only human and I’m learning as I go” will determine your ability to create a forever-loss for yourself.

We’re not in school anymore. The food we eat will not be graded. If we make a mistake and overdo it, the teacher will not talk to our parents, and chowing the cookies will not be on our permanent record.

Pearl Four

I don’t know why I even picked this memoir up in the first place, but I’m so thankful that I did. It’s essentially a modern day’s hero’s journey.

I Can’t Make This Up: Life Lessons by Kevin Hart. Maybe he’s your favorite or, like me, maybe you don’t know who Kevin Hart is (“Wasn’t he in Jumanji?).

In this memoir, Hart is our hero who battles very difficult people at every turn and prevails in the end. While technically a memoir, this is really a motivational-map for success.

How did a kid “from the wrong side of the tracks” become one of the highest paid comedians in the world?! Hart details his life from being an unwanted pregnancy to the death of his mom and a lot more.

Trust me, this is a don’t-miss. If life is extra-hard at the moment this book will keep you going.

Six stars out of five.

Pearl Five

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” 

Marcus Aurelius

It’s a short week (in the U.S.), so then why do these holiday weeks always seem so long?!

I’m putting together a book list for holiday gift-giving, stay tuned. It’ll be in this format, “For the baseball lover in your life.”

See you on Tuesday!!

.♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

My favorite cold tote-bag to carry smart snacks.

Your powerful brain is watching everything you do.

Pearl One

Years ago, I was driving with my parents and my two boys in our van and I guess I wasn’t driving fast enough because one driver peeled out from behind me and went screaming down the road.

At that, my five-year-old son scrunched up his little face in anger and said, “There goes a. . .

“This’ll be interesting,” I thought.

“PUNK!!”

There goes a punk. Not exactly a curse word, but okay. The Scarfer uses the word “punk” occasionally so that’s where my son first heard the word.

Kids absorb everything.

My Point

Like little kids, our brains are watching everything we do.

If you weigh your protein every single time before you cook it, she’s watching and thinking, “Oh, okay we’re the kind of person who measures everything.”

If we stop eating at 6 p.m. each evening, she’s like “Got it. We don’t eat after a small dinner.”

If we have too much food leftover, she learned long ago to think, “Our tummies are not trash cans.”

If you take a bite of cookie that’s just not worth the calories and spit the bite into a napkin she’ll think, “Wow, we are serious about losing weight. We even spit out food.”

As you trek the lose-weight-after-fifty mountain, plan to prove to her daily that you’re utterly serious about smart eating

How do you prove something to your brain?

Through repetition.

She just needs to see proof that something really matters, so give her as much proof as possible.

Pearl Two

Hard question so I’ll go first. (We’ll do this backwards.)

My answer: yes, for the first three decades of my life food was definitely my primary entertainment and then I married someone who had the exact same hobby as me.

The question: is eating your hobby?

As we’ve well established, eating has been there for us when we’re having a huge emotion we don’t know how to deal with. Eating is there when we’re celebrating. Eating is there when we’re bored.

But do you also treat food like a good friend and a toy all packaged in one?

Here’s the thing, If you slowly take away one hobby – eating – something wonderful needs to replace it.

It would be cruel to take a toy from a toddler and not offer something equally as attractive in return.

For example, I love travel writing, but plenty would think, “but that’s work.” Right. But I enjoy it.

I don’t get hiking the Grand Canyon either, but plenty of people do it.

In your journal delve into what you love most in the world. Don’t expect immediate answers. Something might occur to you when you’re scrubbing the shower one afternoon.

Start by asking yourself these questions:

What part of my life is humming along beautifully and that I’ll keep in my life forever. . .

What is something that I love, but rarely do?

How do I navigate being bored, tired, drained, annoyed etc.?

And what method do I use to interrupt the, say, boredom?

I just really want. . .

I wish that. . .

Keep rolling the topic around and around in your mind.

(Small disclaimer: nobody lost weight and preserved the loss forever merely because they took up a new hobby. But having passions in life is just part of the bigger picture of losing-after-fifty.)

For me, my writing work took off around the same time that I lost the fifty-five pounds. I’d actually found something that I loved way more than food: writing and reading.

Thing is, it’s a big deal to give up all fast-food, not eat after 6 p.m., bring a cold-tote everywhere we go.

Taking away a favorite toy – food – is a cataclysmic change; be gentle with yourself and lose weight slowly.

And give yourself something amazing in return.

Pearl Three

In Pearl Three we closely examine Atomic Habits.

In Atomic Habits James Clear tell us, “How to create a good habit.

  • First law: (cue) make it obvious.
  • Second law: (craving) make it attractive.
  • Third law: (response) make it easy.
  • The Fourth law (reward) make it satisfying.”

Clear says that of course there’s more nuance to developing a new habit, but this is a very good start.

Pearl Four

I could say that the week got away from me, but the truth is while reading a book for our fourth pearl today, I got too embroiled in it. (After a thorough read, though, it’s not at the book-dessert level.)

I was considering one of these funny books.

The first two books look excellent if you want to lighten your mood. I don’t know about the third. I’ll read it and share it if here.

Comedy Comedy Comedy drama : a memoir by Bob Odenkirk. Bob is the guy who played “Saul” in Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul. I have a feeling it’ll be a great read.

Hello, Molly!: a memoir by Molly Shannon of SNL fame. I’m looking forward to reading this one.

Just being curious I googled “the best of the funny books”, and this popped up.

Titled, the Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole (1937-1969), it falls into the “humorous fiction” genre.

After I read these three, I I’ll share my thoughts. And if anyone has read one these books, please share in the comments below!!

I need a weekend of laughter.

Pearl Five

One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.”

Brene Brown

Have a fantastic weekend everyone!!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥