I hadn’t seen Jen in months, but the stars aligned and our families had a get-together. When Jen’s crew arrived I hugged her saying, “Mmm, you smell like hotel-shower-gel.”

She pulled back asking, “Are you telling me that I smell like cheap hotel soap?!”

Startled, I moved on to hug her daughter.

But I caught my son saying, “Mama travel-writes so we stay in nice hotels. She’s saying you smell really good.”

He was right, of course, and I appreciated his accessing the situation and speaking up. Because in a bazillion years I would never tell a friend that she smelled bad.

Later, giving the exchange more thought I realized that Jen had assumed I was being insulting because that’s how she talks to herself. (I’ve known her forever, but hadn’t known that her self-abusive voice was still alive and well.)

Self-Talk 101.

Self-talk. If we only interacted with ourselves like once a year, self-talk wouldn’t be a thing. But since we room with ourselves 365/24/7, self-talk plays a monumental role in all areas of our lives, but especially when we’re losing after 50.

Self-talk is an umbrella term for the many ways we engage with ourselves.

Take a look.

Your own built-in motivational coach.

Who wouldn’t want her very own internal coach?

Well, amazing news: you have one. But you first need to gain her trust, slowly coax her to the forefront of your mind and give her a voice.

Start by not dismissing her outright:

• If she says you’re brilliant? For once, go with it.
• If she tells you have all the right skills and that it’s time to dream bigger? Don’t tell her that she’s full of sugar. Believe her.
• When she tells you that you’re pretty cute? Smile and say thank you.

Then journal-write about the two of you:

• Why does smart eating matter so much to you? Peel back that onion and go deeper and deeper as you write about why being at a lower weight has significance for you.
• What are the five accomplishments in your life that you’re most proud of? List them and then whittle each down to one word so that you can count them on one hand. Give this job to your motivational coach: she’ll help you make a habit of counting your Top Fives twice every single day.
• What do you want to give September-you re: smart eating this summer? What would you like September-you to have as she heads into the fall?
• How can your motivational coach support you throughout the summer and pump you up for the – inevitable — difficult moments? I could most use her help with . . .

Your own built-in soothing coach.

Thing is, most of know our internal mean girl pretty well. We know we have one, that’s for sure. We know she’s a jerk. But it’s also important to know what motivates her.

Journal-write to these prompts:

Your own built-in reframing coach.

Reframing helped me big time this week. My dog turned 10 and my initial thought was, just great. We’re into the “scary senior years.” Health issues, vet bills etc.

After journaling about River’s age, it occurred to me that I was allowing “the scary senior years” thought-loop to occupy real estate in my mind. Worse, the loop didn’t help me or River at all.

So I changed my thought-loop to, I have the opportunity to make River’s senior years as spectacular as I can. Today this positive thought loops through my mind helping both River and me.

Journal prompts to activate your own reframing coach:

• What are your three least helpful thought-loops you seemingly embrace about smart eating?
• How can you turn each negative loop into a more helpful loop?
• Write about a time(s) when you reframed a situation to your benefit.
• What are ways you can invite reframing into your life?

Bottom line, I’m a firm believer in the slower, the better (Seth Godin calls it “taking the long cut”). When we take the long-cut we’re giving ourselves the necessary time needed to fully internalize a new internal coach.

So instead of working on all three internal voices at once, pick which coaching-voice feels like the best one to start with. I’m beginning with my motivational coach and turning up her volume.

I’d love it if you’d leave a comment in the section below. And if you liked this post I would love it if you’d share this link with a friend or family member: The Inspired Eater.com.

A billion thank yous!!

And remember, it’s not your imagination. Health is hard.

Have a pumped up, exciting week everyone!

♥, Wendy

Fine china, fabulous presentation, fireworks. Infusing fun into our smart eating lifestyle is so important.

It was a hot summer evening in Atlanta. A friend and I were doing our weekly meet-up at the dog park.

I arrived first, grabbed the shaded picnic table and waited for Mel. I saw her car pull in and watched her walk quickly with her pup into the dog park.

She made her way to the picnic table, and announced, “I’m starving!”

At that, she pulled out a full block of raw tofu.

And block in hand, she began eating chunks of it.

Raw. Tofu.

Keep in mind that Mel is on a forever quest to lose weight, and reign in her unhelpful eating habits. But like so many of us, she veers wildly from double-cheese pizza to a block of raw tofu which is the perfect way to tank at smart eating.

Mel’s Three Stumbles

Let’s deconstruct the stumbles Mel made (no judgement, of course, everyone stumbles):

• That morning, Mel did not set herself up for success when she neglected to create a smart eating plan for her day.
• In the evening, she left her home feeling hungry. Once at the park, she was super hungry. On a scale of one (stuffed) to ten (famished), Mel was likely at a five when she left her house and a six by the time she sat down at the picnic table. (Keeping hunger to a three to five is a reliable way to have our own back.)
• Mel brought incredibly boring — actually tasteless — food for dinner (I’m a huge fan of tofu, but I don’t eat it raw).

The number three stumble is what we’ll focus on here. I’m a believer in using exciting eating strategies as an important tool for weight loss and forever maintenance.

What Do I Mean By Exciting Eating?

When the food you’re having brings a smile to your face or makes you feel pleased inside, you’re in the zone of exciting eating. I’m always on the look-out for ways to bring some pizzazz to my food.

Topping my first coffee in the morning with whipped cream and sprinkles!

Maintaining a “clean” kitchen by keeping my smart eating “tools” at the ready. I prioritize keeping Costco favorites on hand like plant-based protein powder and their bag of frozen veggies.

Additionally I eat seasonally meaning I keep my favorite fuel-foods on hand depending on the season: spring is asparagus, summer all kinds of fruits (watermelon!!), fall is butternut squash soup from Trader Joes, and winter is a vegetarian chili recipe.

Note that I don’t say anything about raw tofu. Boring eating is not your friend. In fact, it’s one of the best ways to create yo-yo eating.

Scoring Exciting Food at Trader Joe’s

Trader Joes is stocked in fun products that are healthy (i.e. low in trans fat and calories). I love their vegan chicken, a tasty no-gluten bread, polenta, coffee beans, hummus, French Macarons (center freezer aisle), super dark chocolate and so much more.

And Check Out Costco’s Treasures

I struggled forever to eat daily veggies because I hadn’t found a way to make them interesting. One afternoon at Costco, I watched a woman load three giant bags of Sweet Kale into her cart.

I asked, “why so many?” and she explained that she eats two handfuls of the Sweet Kale for dinner every evening. But — and here’s her trick — she doesn’t prepare the kit as sold (way too many bad fats).

Keeping her example in mind here’s what I do: I buy two giant bags of Sweet Kale each week (you’ll find the huge bags in Costco’s walk-in freezer). Kroger and Publix sell Sweet Kale too, but the packages aren’t Costco-size.

Around noon most days,  I prep the salad because, as the woman explained, these ingredients need one to six hours to marinate.

It’s All in the Layering

I put 1/2 teaspoon of olive oil and two tablespoons of balsamic vinegar into the bottom of a large bowl and throw a handful of Sweet Kale onto the oil and vinegar mix.

I then drizzle another 1/2 teaspoon of olive oil and two tablespoons of vinegar on top of the kale. Then I toss a second handful of kale onto the first one and pour another 1/2 teaspoon of olive oil and vinegar onto that handful. (Olive oil is a super healthy fat.)

It sounds convoluted, but once you’re in the habit, layering the ingredients is quick.

Next I sprinkle a little of the dried cranberries and seeds — that come in the Sweet Kale package — on top. Finally I chop a bunch of cucumber and add it too with a handful of baby carrots (also in Costco’s freezer section).

Last, handfuls of baby spinach go on top as the final layer. Finally I drizzle — barely — a bit of the poppy-seed dressing (also in the Sweet Kale pack) onto the baby spinach.

Not only am I delivering a huge serving of nutrition to my bod, but I’m also getting my crunching needs met. (I’m a cruncher.)

Does it take an eternity to eat this giant salad? Funny you should ask because yes, it does take forever. But it’s a habit you’ll love incorporating into your life.

You Say Potato, I Say Pizza

When it comes to exciting food, you might want a glass of Merlot at the end of the day, I might prefer a narrow slice of pizza, while a friend wants a handful of Jelly Bellies.

Incorporating food that you love into your daily Smart Eating Plan (in small portions) is key to losing weight and maintaining for the long haul. That said, steer clear of trigger-foods. If Jelly Bellies send you on the quest for more sugar, don’t do Jelly Bellies.

With total confidence I can tell you that infusing interesting food is vital to being successful in losing and maintaining for the long run.

I’d love it if you’d share smart ways you bring fun into your daily eating plan.

♥, Wendy

Having the right food in the house when we’re losing or maintaining after 50 isn’t just nice, it’s essential to smart eating versus chowing like a hungry toddler-gone-wild.

I tend to reach for something sugary every evening (update: this was pre-ditching my evening sugar habit, read more about how I did it here). It took time, but I now get that embracing my sweet-tooth is the only tactic that’s worked.

I taste-tested and reviewed a bunch of “friendly” summer desserts, and rated them from not-so-much to awesome:

One

Two

Three

Angel food cake!!!

Love, love, love angel food cake, especially chunked up with strawberries and whipped cream. I mean, come on! So good. That said the grocery store prices are frightening — I haven’t yet adjusted to our new normal — so rather than buy a pre-made angel food cake: get a box mix or make angel food from scratch. The star of the angel food cake show is about 12 egg whites.

Four

Sugar-free chockablock pudding with whipped cream. Delish. This is my go-to when I “need” something fun that looks decadent.

Five

Creamy Coconut Popsicles.

Have you seen the popsicles by Outshine made for adults? If coconut isn’t your thing, they also come in strawberry, mango, peach, tangerine, strawberry-lemonade and more. Really tasty.

Six

Trader Joe’s Macaron cookies!

These three macarons with a good coffee makes me feel fancy.

Seven

When I’m craving something fun that’s not part of my clean eating plan (like, I made birthday cake for my boys), I’ll skip dinner all together and only have dessert.

And btw, I learned this strategy from “naturally thin” who eat what they want and aren’t limited by what dinner is “supposed to be.”

Having dessert for dinner gets all 5 stars because the scale will never be the wiser come morning (if you don’t go wild of course).

Eight

Voortman Sugar Free Vanilla Wafer Cookies.

Five stars. These wafer cookies are so fun. They come in vanilla, strawberry and chocolate with no high-fructose corn syrup plus 30 percent less carbs than the regular wafers.

Be still your heart because this company also makes sugar-free cookies in oatmeal, short bread, key lime pie, lemon, and chocolate chip.

I can’t be trusted with oatmeal cookies — I know my limits — but I can stop at a (sane) portion size with every other flavor.

Nine

Baby watermelons are my healthiest addiction.

I love everything about a ripe watermelon, but I’m terrible at picking huge melons well; I tend to pick mushy or overripe ones every time. I’ve had more luck with the small guys.

When I really need a huge, ripe watermelon, I ask the store’s fruit guy or the serious senior citizen — thumping melons a foot away — for assistance. (It’s never failed, people love to be helpful.)

Ten

My favorite is saved for last: top fresh strawberries with a whipped cream hat.

Berries are a perfect dessert because they’re beautiful, delicious, nutritious and don’t propel you into eating everything sugar in the kitchen. Five stars.

I love hearing your ideas! How do you keep your sweet-tooth from wrecking your clean eating days?

♥, Wendy

P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea to you right away!

You know the scoop. Some links might be affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases. Of course you incur no additional cost and I’ll always be totally upfront with you.

Photo by Kalen Emsley.

Wish me luck; I’ll take heat for this one.

I was never a worker-outer. I’m Team Napper.

For those of us trying to lose, working out doesn’t actually work.

Hear me out.

Say you swim like Michael Phelps (most decorated Olympian with twenty-eight medals), then yes, your caloric intake won’t have a prayer against your energy output.

Turns out, Phelps famously ate 8,000 to 10,000 calories (!!!) a day in his prime and still found it challenging to get enough food.

That said, muggles like you and me don’t work out like Phelps. Most of us take yoga classes or bike three miles, five times a week, call it good, and head to the nearest fridge. Even a long day of snow skiing doesn’t require the amount of calories Phelps needed to bring home the gold.

How a Sweaty Workout Does Do a Body Good.

Here’s what I finally figured out: Working out for reasons other than weight control is vital for a healthy body and state of mind especially when we’re on the other side of menopause. For example:

• Taking a long walk to get my sweet German shepherd his needed exercise: smart for me and River.
• Working out for endorphins to feel high without the side effects of drugs: brilliant.
• Getting sweaty to keep my heart fit and – hopefully – avoid the dementia that has long swept like wildfire throughout my family: again, brilliant.

But working out to help me lose weight?

No, never happened.

And scientists are just now catching on to what we’ve long suspected: lowering our food intake is really the only path to successful weight loss especially after age 50.

The Important Basics I Needed to Lose Fifty-Five

One

Committing to a great eating plan — I call it a structure — turned out to be critical for long-term success. I’ve used the Weight Watchers original point system since 1997, but there’s no particular magic to WW. Any healthy eating plan works if makes the most sense for your life and if you can imagine using it for decades to come.

Also vital: keep a pretty tracker with a pen next to your fridge to track what goes into your mouth daily. Studies are firm: those who document what they eat, are the most successful. And remember, “pretty” matters. No keeping track on old envelopes or the back of receipts. A spiral notebook is best. The spiral part makes it easier to record your eating. You also want to keep track so that you can go back in time and see what’s worked and what hasn’t work.

Two

As I lost weight, I focused only on establishing rock star eating habits:

First I committed to my eating structure (WW) and only after my WW habits were solidly established did I create a strong habit of intermittent fasting for 14 to 16 hours each day. Specifically I stop eating by 6:30 p.m.

My thought: attempting to create too many habits at once is a recipe for failure. One fully installed positive habit is way better than five squishy habits.

Three

I used my favorite study to extinguish my evening sugar habit (what do you mean there’s no confetti?). The first two weeks were rough — no fib — but by week three, sugar was in my rear-view. Details on how I eliminated sugar here.

How long does it take to establish smart habits like tracking your daily intake? My favorite study by a group of researchers in England discovered that we need sixty-six days to create a behavior that is reliable and becomes like second nature. (Published in 2009 in the European Journal of Social Psychology.)

Why I Did Not Do Hard Workouts while Losing

Other than long walks with my River (GSD), I didn’t add work outs to my days until I’d maintained my weight loss for years. Only then did I add yoga and Pilates, and finally stumbled onto my forever workout activity that I love (recumbent trike-riding). Updated on 8-28-22: I might know how to lose/maintain weight after 50, but I’m still a fawn on wobbly legs when it comes to working out. I’m learning that doing different types of working out is the best for mind and body.

Okay, I’m ready to take the heat for this post. Tell me what you think. Does working out help your weight loss or send you on the hunt for a hot fudge sundae?

Ready for take off! (Get it?) 🙂

♥, Wendy