When I see celebs turn up in the media bone-thin saying that it all comes down to “hashtag embracing a healthy lifestyle” or “hashtag sweating instead of crying,” they’re forgetting one important swath of the population: their fans.

An enormous group – often populated by tweens and teens – see the stars’ astounding transformations and are left wondering, “What is wrong with me?” or “I can’t even lose ten pounds let alone a hundred” and “I work out like a crazy person and the scale won’t even budge.”

Take any one of these celebs: Star Jones, Al Roker, Rosie O’Donnell, Roseanne Barr, Sharon Osbourne, Carnie Wilson, and just recently Kelly Osbourne. Each had stomach surgery to lose weight – several after they’d received a scary diagnoses – and some told the world right away; others not so much.

Here’s the deal: if you’re a celeb and have stomach surgery, you need to tell your fans the whole shebang.

Before I get to “why,” first my experience with two loved ones.

Weight Kills.

A friend — who was seriously overweight – was asked by a caring pal whether he’d consider stomach surgery. He immediately responded, “No way! You can die from doing surgeries like that!” This super smart, sweet man died of a heart attack not many years later. He was only 50.

I have a dear friend who is also seriously obese. She’s 45. When another friend suggested stomach surgery she said, “But then I’d have to have a second surgery to cut off the extra skin!!”

Why it’s Our Business.

He didn’t tell anyone for months, but New Jersey governor, Chris Christie underwent a stomach surgery. When it became clear he’d done something to alter his weight he responded, “It was nobody’s business other than mine.”

No, dude, you’re wrong.

If you’re in the public eye — which is where you wanted to be — and use stomach surgery: no judgment.

But please tell the world so that we don’t assume that you’re a superstar human being who can triumph over the daily smorgasbord that is our food-porn world. While we can’t.

It’s too easy for fans to end up with bulimia, anorexia, or a drug addiction all in the quest to be thin like their favorite celeb or politician.

What Stomach Surgery Cannot Do.

Stomach surgery is only the first step to a life-long path to a healthy body. After the surgery comes the hard part: changing how you engage with — and think about — food.

Keeping our brains on the straight-and-narrow is no easy feat. It takes a new dedication every day to stop our brain from running with glee toward the cheesecake at Kroger (frozen section middle aisle 15.).

As a friend once said, “Health is hard.” A healthy body is the result of smart thinking about how we engage with food in our food-gone-wild culture.

Because ultimately maintaining a certain weight isn’t a body thing, it’s a brain thing.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I am an Amazon affiliate so if you buy something through a link at this site, I may receive a small commission that won’t impact your price at all.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

It was a warm spring day a million years ago, and Jen and I were doing what we did every month: having lunch at a beautiful outdoor bistro.

Jen was round, I was round. And for the most part whenever we were together, we were digging in. Together. Yet — unbeknownst to Jen — I was inching closer to making a permanent sweeping change to my identity.

I didn’t mention my plan to Jen because I felt little confidence about what I had in mind. I’d tried so many times to change my eating habits, but this go-round felt different, and I wasn’t ready to go public.

Jen ordered first: a standard entree with salad and rolls, the usual. I ordered a small(ish) bowl of veggies from the appetizer list. No butter. Iced tea please. And coffee (for “dessert”).

At that, a weird vibe blanketed our table.

When the server brought our food, I watched Jen’s eyes track the server as she placed the small bowl in front of me. Jen never said, but the vibe shouted: You ruined lunch!

That was April. Come Christmastime Jen gave me a huge plate of Christmas cookies wrapped in foil.

I doubt I need to tell you, but I couldn’t coexist in the house with my favorite ingredient: calories.

So out those cookies went (to the office or at least that’s what The Scarfer claimed).

In the early days it felt vital that I practice my new behaviors 365/24/7. (Of course allowing for the to-be-expected slips.)

It did not matter — whether on crutches with a broken foot, my beloved Grandma dying, a nightmarish day at work, my birthday — there was no reason for eating outside of my structure. Period. (Except for pregnancy, which meant smart eating, but a lot more of it.)

Occasionally Jen made comments to the effect that I was in a phase and would eventually “get back to normal.” I finally mentioned to her that I was losing, but I didn’t add that I wasn’t merely “trying” to adhere to a smart eating lifestyle, this time I meant to crush it.

I was bummed to see the friendship melt away, but I got it: people evolve and move on to new chapters in life, some friendships can weather a friend’s sweeping change. And some can’t. That’s life.

But Then 2019 Smoked Me

One day my enlightened wisdom on sweeping changes and friendship careened right off the cliff when my best friend from teen-hood said good-bye.

Playing a blond Mary Tyler Moore-on-Pilates to frumpy sidekick-me who was always thirty, forty, or whatever-pounds overweight, Jen didn’t freak out at my weight loss exactly, more like she freaked at my years-long weight maintenance.

Jen’d known for years that I’d lost a lot of weight, but I think she assumed I’d eventually regain it.

Even though I’d explained to Jen that the timing of her visit wouldn’t work — my sons’ friends were visiting with their mother and I need to feed the group and see them off — Jen visited from another state anyway.

Within the first day of her arrival she asked, “So, would you gain weight if it would help your diagnosis?”

At the time I thought, gee, do I really need to answer such a stupid question?

But I responded — also in a snotty tone — that smart eating and keeping my weight down have helped my health situation rather than hurt it. (Sheesh.)

I didn’t add, but was thinking, you lame-brain. (My tone again. So not helping.)

Those weren’t her only hurtful words that weekend. Something was deeply troubling her and I wished I’d gently asked, “What’s going on?” But newly diagnosed, I didn’t have the bandwidth to be patient and tender with anyone. Though in retrospect, that’s exactly what she needed.

My best guess – she never said – is that being devoted to Pilates wasn’t slowing the progression of pounds we all navigate after 50. I’m betting that was super irritating for her.

While Karen knows tons about smart workouts, I know tons about smart eating.

I wish we could have had a heart-to-heart on midlife weight gain. I wish we’d talked about our changing bodies, that midlife required a new way of eating, and how working out alone was no longer the answer.

My Takeaway

It’s been over five years since we stopped talking. I miss Karen. I reached out to her once, but received a curt, “my best to you in all your endeavors” response. My friend defaults into formal and flowery language when she’s angry.

I won’t bore you with the details, but it became clear that our friendship was over.

Still, I send her a Christmas card every December with my new cell number written big on the back.

As we lose weight – and work hard on how we think about, and relate, to food – we’re choosing to trek a new path in life. And make no mistake, losing a lot and maintaining forever (after age 50) is a path that few have tread. Our friends are accustomed to seeing us cycle on and off diets. They aren’t used to seeing life a flat-out lifestyle change.

Sometimes friendships come along for this aduous hike in a completely new direction, but not always. We need time to grieve the loss of a friend – without diving into the pralines and cream – and honor how important the friendship was in our life.

And then we need to forge ahead — all systems go — as we continue on the path to a lasting transformation.

Thank you.

I owe you $125 for this therapy session.

♥, Wendy

My sister lives in Tucson with her family and they hike the Grand Canyon “for fun.”

Enthusiasts call hiking the Grand Canyon, “a bucket list adventure.” But who bucket lists in triple degree heat?

But when my sister, Shelley, began detailing how she and her husband, Brian, prep for a rim-to-rim Grand Canyon hike, my ears perked and here’s why.

Shelley and Brians’ strategy speaks volumes about how you and I can create a can’t-fail plan when losing weight and maintaining after 50.

Hear me out and this’ll make sense.

First, What is Rim-to-Rim?

Hiking the GC rim2rim means die-hards descend from one side of the GC, hike 10-miles in the basin, cross the raging Colorado River on a suspension bridge, and then trek up the other GC side.

Six months prior Shelley and Brian take prepping for the Ultimate Day super seriously. They live six hours from the GC, so they plan the hotel, break-in new shoes, practice hike a lot, and even practice what type of food they’ll eat when hot and tired.

Sister and hub practice hiking in the (blistering) Tucson heat because the bottom of the GC is like 105 to 107. (Thunk. That’s me falling over.)

So Why Do You And I Care About GC Strategy?

We’re not planning to hike the GC in six months or — like — ever. I get it. 

But how different would losing and maintaining after 50 be if we strategized to such an extent that success is practically assured?

Stealing Strategy From the Rim2Rimers.

Think about it, how can you and I possibly do something incredibly rigorous — losing and maintaining after 50 — if we don’t first acknowledge what we’re up against?

How different would losing and maintaining after 50 be if we strategized to such an extent that success is practically assured?

How to Prep for Ultra-Success:

In setting yourself up for your success, here are some examples of what I have in mind:

• In the beginning cleaning up your external world is key. Can you firmly ask your scarfer-partner to hide and/or keep his junk food at work? (One day — only not now — he can crunch Oreos on the couch and it won’t really bother you.) A cousin to this request: also ask that your partner not give you fancy treats on big holidays so no cake on Mother’s Day, no amazing chocolates at Christmas etc.
• Can you drive a different route to work so you don’t pass your favorite junk food stop?
• Can you study the nutrition count on every food item you put into your mouth pretty much forever? (Scott Adams – the Dilbert cartoonist – says he’s in the best shape of his life at age 64 because he educates himself on nutrition. I agree with him 100-percent. Pizza doesn’t look so awesome when you learn that a slice of Mellow Mushroom’s meat pizza is 530 calories, 27 g fat, 1,370 mg sodium, and 48 g carbs. And who stops at one slice?)
• Can you ask that amazing computer sitting behind your eyes for advice on making an enormous salad taste awesome vs. boring? For solid health eat a giant dinner plate-sized salad every single day. I’m not overstating. I eat a giant salad or veggie stir fry every day of the week.
• Can you write down everything you put into your mouth. . . forever? I’ve been doing this since 1997. It’s not hard or time consuming. It’s one of the pillars of losing and maintaining.

I’ve just suggested a few ways to set yourself up for lifelong success. Now it’s your turn: journal-write about your ideas that will work for your life.

The unvarnished truth.

Losing & maintaining after 50 is like hiking the Grand Canyon. Strategize like your life depends on it.

Because it does.

I’m always looking for new ideas — I’d love to hear the strategies you rely on!

And remember it’s not just your imagination. Health is hard!

♥, Wendy

According to an article just out, “Our brains may be wired to seek out junk food.”

Just great.

The study essentially says that humans are rigged to reach for high-calorie treats over smart food when feeling stressed.

According to the study, humans evolved to remember which caves were home to a saber tooth tiger and — at the same time — which berry bushes held the most the most calories.

Scientists from the Netherlands put 512 people into a maze. One end tempting the people with the scent of apples and cucumbers, and the other beckoning with the aroma of junk food, like brownies. Guess what the humans went for?

I’m no scientist, but duh.

The Good News:

Our human brains – the most sophisticated on the planet – boast a super cool part called the prefrontal that allow us to problem-solve, organize, learn, and dive deep on topics.

While the scientists concluded that our ancestors evolved to hunt and gather the highest caloric food they could find, it’s also true that our prefrontal lobes can save our scale today.

How to Disrupt an Habitual Craving.

Have you read the booklet Aunt Bea? If not, look to your right under my short bio. Enter your email and Aunt Bea will be sent to your email address. If you don’t see her she might be in spam. Otherwise, email me at Wendy@theInspiredEater.com and I’ll shoot Aunt Bea right to you.

Food cravings aren’t a fact of life, they’re totally manageable. To get you started:

First and foremost read Aunt Bea, then:

• Don’t allow yourself to get hungry beyond a four in the first place (scale of one: stuffed to ten: famished). I never allow myself to get beyond a four. All bets are off when I’m hungry.
• Keep smart snacks in your car, desk, and purse. And no fair calling super old granola bars “food.” Keep food you’ll actually enjoy eating within easy reach. I do this every single day.
• Plan your smart eating the night before each day, then plan again. Remember planning is a superpower of a successful loser and maintainer. It helps that I’m a planner and I’m betting you are too. Use you superpower for good (meaning for yourself).
• Ask the people in your house not to load the cupboards in high-calorie “foods” — or at the very least to keep the treats in a high cupboard that you can’t reach. (Note: remove kitchen step stool.)
• Stop all eating at, say, 6:00 in the evening.
• Plan to listen strategically to inspirational podcasts. When I’m in the middle of extinguishing a terrible food habit, I plan to listen to an inspirational episode when I’d otherwise be chowing Oreos.
• Read books that keep you on point like The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. Highlight the passages that speak to you and keep this handy. Dip into Holiday’s incredible book for a daily jewel or two.

Other fun ideas include to stop a craving:

• Put on music that is sure to interrupt your interest in food like hard rock or jazz.
• Give yourself a manicure (and when you look at your beautiful nails remember your commitment to smart eating).
• Dab on high-end perfume. For some reason, a pretty scent disrupts my food urges.
• Go to bed early with a really good book (my very favorite disrupter).

I know you have your own to stop a craving — please share in the comments below. We can all learn from each other.

And remember, it’s not your imagination. Health is hard!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Put a little fun in your heart each and everyday.

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash.

Back in the day when food was my entertainment, I’d tell myself, “I’m SO BORED” and with that, I’d raid the kitchen for some “deserved” nothing-to-do-eating.

Today I deal with boredom differently, here’s what I finally figured out:

The feeling of boredom was never meant to signal us to locate and eat handfuls of M&M’s. Actually feeling bored is a challenge from the best part of ourselves to bring new exciting plans and ideas to life.

And excitement is different for everyone. It might be exciting travel like seeing the castles in Europer, while I want to fulfill a lifelong dream of learning Spanish. A friend might want to hike every waterfall in her state. Someone else might be ready to adopt a rescue-dog.

Before I go any further, I have to add an important caveat: I’m not suggesting that if we simply embrace a new passion that the extra pounds will melt off.

You will never hear such nonsense from me.

But what I am saying is that when you coax your own dream-projects to life it’s a bit easier to stay happily distracted until your new eating habits are fully in place.

How I Upleveled My World.

In a nutshell, I began adding fun experiences to my life in several ways, intentionally adding excitement to my life slowly so that I wouldn’t burn out:

• One year I joined a Toastmaster’s club (to develop stronger public speaking muscles within a super supportive environment).
• Every so often I rearrange our home’s furniture into a new style that I love ( and even more fun: I go to garage sales on the weekend to find treasures that I can paint.).

• I’m diligent about keeping an absorbing list of good books at the ready. My favorite books listed here.

• In 2016, I had the back surgery that I’d long needed. (Not all uplevels are glitzy at first, but long term I was sooo happy I’d had this surgery. If you live near Georgia: Dr. Heller, Emory.)

The Secret Sauce to Upping Our Game.

The secret? For a more exciting life: scare yourself a bit. Like, you want butterflies in your stomach. If your plan to uplevel (big or small) is not a bit frightening, you might be wasting your time. (Include at least one ahhh!! idea in your excitement plan.) Here’s what friends put into their plan to uplevel their lives:

• My IT friend takes two to three courses a year to keep his skills fresh.
• After a divorce, a friend is allowing a new man into her life and pinteresting her home in ways that she’ll eventually (we think) share with him.
• A super active friend became certified in SCUBA diving. I’m betting that it’s hard to be bored when learning to stay calm and breathe underwater.

Best Therapy.

Journal-write about these three questions. Challenge yourself to give at least three examples to each question. Our human brains will spill forth jewels almost every time. Journal-write about:

• a dream-project that has called to you for years.
• a topic you’ve long wished you knew more about.
• the last thing you did that was scary, but fun!
• Answer this question: In my life if I’m bored it means. . .
• Or, If I’m bored, my first thought is. . .my second thought is. . . my third thought is. . .

Have a wonderful weekend!!

And remember, it’s not just you. Health is hard. But thankfully we can do hard things.

♥, Wendy

Glamorous robe and photo by BellaDonnaua.

I love Saturday mornings. For years my husband and I make a 20-minute freeway drive to a dog park that my German shepherd and we all love.

We take the back streets home, and for the first time I really took a good look at the array of fast food places mere blocks from each other: your Burger Kings, your Brusters, Your Dunkins along with their sit-down brethren like Olive Garden and Cheesecake Factory that serve portions large enough to feed two to four people.

Add to that our ability to score a gazillion sky-high calories in any grocery store or in the luxury food markets like Whole Paycheck, Sprouts, and Fresh Market. And we can’t forget Amazon.

Phew.

And we wonder why weight is a problem in our world.

Chris Hemsworth & Us

Here’s my point. I’m faithful to my husband, but if Robert Redford (in his prime), Hugh Jackman, or the Hemsworth brothers – were beckoning from every corner, I might re-consider.

Why It’s Challenging to Just Say No

Isn’t it the same with food? I don’t have a Starbucks habit, but I don’t entirely blame those who “need” their cup each day. Trust me, marketers are paid bucks to lure us into creating a daily food-porn habit.

And yet, learning to mostly ignore our 24/7 food-culture is our responsibility. Agreed.

But isn’t it an interesting juxtaposition that we’re told staying lean is the best medicine for avoiding terrifying diseases, and yet simultaneously we live in a culture stagnant in calories?

Well, It Seemed Glam

Like Betty on Mad Men, back in the day smoking was common: it was glamorous, dulled appetites, and everyone including doctors did it; so what was the harm?

Finally direct correlations between smoking and disease were realized and across the land parents said, “My children won’t pick up that terrible habit.”

And from its peak in ’64, smoking nose-dived; and good riddance, right?

My hope is two-fold. One, that porn-food on the streets, in stores, and online thins out considerably (no pun); that colossal-sized restaurant meals drop off the edge entirely; and that advertisements stop electrifying overeating (Paris Hilton “sex-eating” in the Carl’s Jr. ad).

And two, that you and I learn to play a new line of defense against our on-steroids-food culture.

Your Takeaway

Eliminating our fast food urge is a muscle to develop over the 66-days needed to develop a strong habit (based on my favorite study out of England).

I can hear you now: easier said, then done lady, and I get it.

So, begin by taking a long look at why you’re most likely to succumb to fast food:

• You’re habituated. Do you make a morning Starbucks run and often — last minute — order a doorknob of a blueberry muffin as long as you’re there? Three-hundred-twenty calories, 14 grams of fat if we’re keeping track. And we are.
• Slammed with work? Is it easier to grab Chick-fil-A than bringing a smart meal from home?
• Exhausted? Do you order pizza delivered in the evening to the happy chorus of kids?

No Day at the Beach

I understand. Ridding ourselves of bad habits is rough going. No two-ways about it. But the idea is to take fast-food runs out of our unconscious (our brains on automatic) and make a fast food habit conscious.

Take a close look — by journal-writing — at why and when you’re most likely to succumb to stopping for fast-food:

• Which days of the week are the hardest for you to give up fast-food? (Include time of day too.)
• What needs get addressed by the fast-food place? For example, fast-food isn’t always about convenience. It could be that all the cool kids stop for coffee and you want to feel included.
• And absolutely write about what you’d love to do with the money saved by giving up fast-food.
• What are three ways that I can address each challenge (e.g. take a different route to work, bring lunch from home etc.). Keeping smart food with you at all time is a huge start.

Now put this writing where you’ll see it everyday including your desk, your steering wheel, and your bathroom. Wrap your intentions around your credit card.

Extinguishing a habit that rewards you with tasty – yet non-nutritious – food is not easy, and those who make and market junk food are counting on us to fail. Instead of telling yourself:

I’ll never drink Starbucks again. Say, “I’ll buy a cool coffee thermos for the car and good beans for the freezer. I’ll prep everything the night before to make the morning a tad easier.”

I’ll stop eating all fast food at lunch. Tell yourself, “I’ll purchase a tiny fridge for my cubicle and pack it with smart calories like little cups of hummus or guacamole (Costco), petite carrots, apples, peanut butter and so forth. The idea: don’t let yourself get to a six on the hunger-meter.

I’ll refuse to let Papa John’s call the shots. Let the family know that from now on pizza will be a rarity in your home: not a food group.

What it takes to eat well

One of the pillars of smart eating is planning. Planning is everything when it comes to dealing with the fast-food places and giant restaurant meals.

I’d love to hear from you: when are you most likely to stop at a fast-food joint? And why do you want to stop?

Always remember that it’s not just you, health is hard! But we can do hard things.

♥, Wendy

In my teens, twenties, and early thirties I tried to purchase weight loss.

I bought diet plans, gym memberships, personal trainer packages, and I would’ve bought stomach surgery if I didn’t need the money for rent.

On whatever diet, I’d lose for the moment, and gain it all back when I resumed eating “normally” again.

We’ve Been Sold An Idea that Doesn’t Exist

We’ve been sold the notion that buying a ten-, twenty-, or fifty-pound weight loss is like buying a stunning new dress. Drive to Nordstrom, locate dress, slip credit card into thingy and — voila — drive home with your incredible purchase.

But losing weight — for the long haul — is nothing like buying a dress.

Once we accept that weight loss can’t be bought, we begin the hard work of rewiring our brains from, “What’s a plate of nachos with a marg going to hurt?” to, “I need to get smart food into this hungry stomach now.”

The King Has No Clothes

Selling the idea that weight loss requires a full-on brain change would never test well in market surveys.

Those selling weight loss think you and I only pay for easy. Nobody wants to become transparent and say that maintaining the loss is super (duper) hard.

I’m telling you: the loss is very difficult.

Sweat Equity?

Turns out, to lose and maintain for the long run we don’t pay in sweat, instead we pay in developing new brain synapses.

Think of it this way: pretend that new brain synapses are like orange Hot Wheel tracks being laid down in your brain. Each orange track is a new thought. The more we practice our new thought, the deeper the orange tracks are embedded.

When we first try a brand new behavior the tracks are lightweight. The more we use a new behavior – like not eating after six o’clock — the orange tracks entrench deeper and deeper into our psyche and are eventually called habits.

Take brushing our teeth. The synapse-path for brushing our teeth was installed into our brains when we were young. Decades later: try going to sleep without brushing your teeth. Can’t be done.

This is Exactly How I Do It

The exciting news is that new brain neurons can be installed at any age. That means that you and I can add new synapses into our brain into our 90s..

Take a few moments to journal-write answers to the following:

One

What change would you LOVE to make in your day-to-day eating? (Keep your change small and manageable.) Let’s use me as an example: I want to stop eating sugar in the evening.

Two

What are five things I can do to help myself in giving up nighttime sugar raids? Remember that to establish a new habit I’ll need to give up evening sugar for sixty-six days (time it takes to establish a habit according to my favorite ’09 study out of England).

I address the craving head-on, I don’t try to squash it merely to distract it. After a small dinner:

1. I’ll brush my teeth and go to bed early with a particularly good book (the word “good” being key).
2. I’ll listen to an inspiring podcast on how we establish good habits. If I still want cookies, I’ll listen to two.
3. I’ll listen to really great music like Linda Ronstadt, the Eagles, Tom Petty, and Prince (music reliably takes me to a better place).
4. I’ll watch Netflix upstairs on my phone if sitting a few feet away from the cookies is too tempting for me.

Note: I do all four of the above one at a time if a craving is really bad.

You get the idea. As I list ways that I can support my “no evening sugar” idea, it’s important that I only list ways that are fun or really important to me.

For example, Atlanta is hot in the summer. I would never write “walk the dog” after dinner because, for sure, I’ll attack the ice cream flavor I don’t even like if I’m hot, bored, and irritated.

Three

How will you record your daily results? Peter Drucker brilliantly said, “What gets measured, improves.” I keep myself on track by measuring lots and lots of things: like my food (with measuring cups), my daily weight, my money-diet and so forth.

Goodbye Sugar!

I keep notes in OneNote on my laptop (others rave about Evernote); these were my entries when I started the no-sugar habit:

• Wed. — 1-13-21 — Day 2 — no evening eating of any kind. Going to bed early with my One Thousand Splendid Suns book.
• Thurs. — 1-14-21 — Day 3 – no evening sugar! Early bed with One Thousand Suns.  

I began using OneNote to record my weight and workout progress daily in August 2019. So I can tell you how long I worked out on my bike, what I ate, and what I weighed on August 8, 2019.

Creating new, solid behaviors around food is no walk in the park. It’s tempting to wish that we could buy a surgery and our problems would disappear.

I’ll be honest, the first couple of weeks of no-sugar were hard. I read a lot of good books and got a lot of sleep lol. But by week three the sugar cravings disappeared. I’m on Day 128 of no-sugar, the cravings are gone, and I’m treating this hard-won habit like the jewel that it is.

Update on 9-26-21: I’ve been sugar-free after dinner for nine months now. After the first two weeks of no evening sugar giving up sugar at night just got easier and easier. Today I won’t risk the successful months I’ve accumulated by eating ice cream at night.

Always remember it’s not just you, health is hard.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I am an Amazon affiliate so if you buy something through a link at this site, I may receive a small commission that won’t impact your price at all.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

I started losing weight in earnest back in ‘97 just before my sweet cousin’s wedding.

I was at the heaviest I’d ever been and, no, I wasn’t all lush and gorgeous like Christina Hendricks or Oprah.

Back then I attended weekly Weight Watcher’s meeting on the regular, and I’ll never forget one leader’s masterpiece of a metaphor.

Here’s the picture she painted:

Let’s say you need groceries.

You slide into your sexy red Corvette and drive to Whole Paycheck. Along the way you breeze through three green lights, park where nobody can scratch your baby, and head into the store.

All good, right?

But then the Weight Watcher leader said, “Wait! What if – as you’re driving to your favorite grocery store — you soar right through two green lights, but then come to a stop at a red?”

Do you roll your eyes thinking, knew it. Other people can go to the grocery store, I guess I don’t have what it takes. And then do you turn around and drive home?

Of course not.

That would be silly.

But — her point was — we do exactly that when we eat something that swerves from our smart eating plan; we eat the cake or Snickers or whatever and think, everything’s ruined and we commence to overeat for the next six months. Until many months later when we try again and end up in the same loop.

Year-in and year-out.

Manage Your Expectations

Here’s the thing: as you lose weight expect road bumps, slow trucks, and red stop lights.

Stop signs happen. We call them “slips.” Prepare for slips by creating a rock-solid back- up plan. (More on the back-up plan here.)

I’d love to hear about how you come to a red-light, and “slip.” How do you get back on your smart eating plan?

♥, Wendy

P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea to you right away!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

I consider micro-rewards to be a professional mani/pedi, downtime to stream a cool show, or to give myself an afternoon to snoop through my favorite thrift store.

The Beauty of Micro-Rewards in Reverse

And sometimes I even use micro-rewards in reverse. Let’s say, I have to deal with a difficult person at work who’s upset because her project isn’t going well. As I’m dealing with her, I keep score re: how many times she pushes my buttons. Two button pushes means I’ll give myself extra time tonight to read. Five button pushes and I’m buying that bracelet I spotted in the boutique last month.

But here’s the trick to a reverse micro-reward: if the other person is pushing our buttons we have to respond calmly and logically. We don’t go off the deep-end. We only get a micro-reward when we respond (but don’t react).

The Key to Creating Micro-Rewards

If you’re not sure that micro-rewards would work for you, look to what you love the most when creating tiny inspirations. Example: I love clothes so I often use a new shirt as a micro-reward. Or your hobby might be hitting up garage sales and a definite garage sale trek could be a great micro-reward.

The key to micro-rewards is that you create “high-value” inspirations that’ll motivate you. If clothes and time to read motivate me, but mean nothing to you, you need a stronger micro-reward.

And let’s be totally honest: if I’ve pulled off something truly amazing and huge, it’s time to micro-reward myself with a new perfume. (I love a pretty scent.)

What micro-rewards are you planning to cheer yourself onto the next level?

Have a fantastic week, everyone. And remember that it’s not your imagination: health is hard.

♥, Wendy

P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea to you right away!

You know the scoop: I am an Amazon affiliate so if you buy something through a link at this site, I may receive a small commission that won’t impact your price at all.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

“We are bleeding money.”

Over the last four years my husband and I had been — 24/7 — diapering, feeding and caring for twin infants slash toddlers. Now that my boys were semi-functional, I was raring to take my two to Lake Tahoe, the beach, various Children’s Museums and so forth.

In short, I wanted our family to travel.

“We can afford to drive around the corner,” my husband said. “Call me when you arrive.”

Thanks to the ’08 crash, the planet was reeling. Money problems everywhere, houses not selling, belts tightening.

That said, Oh, the Places I Wanted to Go.

After my husband announced, “not a chance”, I didn’t argue or suggest ways we could “rob Peter to pay Paul,” or call my best friend crying about the dumb choice I’d made in a husband (jk).

I said to myself alone, My. Kids. Will. Travel. I felt those words into my very marrow. I had no idea how we’d find the bucks for travel, I only knew that – contrary to all of the evidence around me – we were going places.

And we did.

Here’s how it went down.

After a few false starts, I asked an editor-friend who produced a local parenting magazine if she’d be interested in a travel column.

She jumped at the idea and — with that email to Barb — I’d created a small job for myself. My family and I traveled plenty and after each trip, I’d write about our experiences for Barbara’s mag. (We had a blast and, I was getting paid — not a ton — but still.)

Was it a fluke?

Back then, I didn’t have the vocab to talk about why my travel-determination worked, but I knew something – outside of the ordinary – had taken place and I wanted to figure out out what it was, so that I could replicate my results.

Here’s what I learned.

Turns out, those in the coaching world – people like Tony Robbins — call what I stumbled upon “massive action.” Tony Robbins didn’t invent massive action any more than Ben Franklin invented electricity, but they both noticed a reality and pointed it out to the world.

To me, massive action is feeling — into the very fiber of my being — that something I want will happen (come hell or high water).

Before I knew the term “massive action,” I called it “leaving no stone unturned.” Quick example: Long before I had kids, I had to pass a licensing exam and I used “no stone unturned” to study for the big, scary test. I did everything conceivable to pass, and I figured, if I didn’t pass then it must be due to something outside of my control.

But I passed. (And trust me, every stone was turned.)

How massive action works.

Massive action is happening when you throw everything you can possibly think of at a project or a problem until the door swings open.

It’s when you’re at your most determined.

When you go massive action on something that matters deeply to you, it’s almost as if the Universe says, “Oh, brother. This mom in California will not stop knocking at the door. Just give her travel so we can get onto other things.”

Writing is your portal.

To know what’s going on in your heart and head, write.  Writing is free therapy and is always there for you. Free-write every morning. Free-write like nobody is going to read it (because they won’t). Free-write to discover what makes you tick.

Every morning, ask yourself these questions and see what your super sophisticated brain spills forth:

• What do I want for my future-self in six months?
• What are five things that matter most to me in life?
• If I had a life mission what would it be? (Give three life mission answers.)
• What is something that matters to me that the rest of our culture tends to overlook?

Consciously using massive action.

Once I heard the term “massive action,” I was far more successful in wielding its power. Through the last ten or so years, here’s how I’ve added to my life using massive action:

• My sister and I – who, at one-time, couldn’t talk on the phone for twenty-minutes without both of us becoming enraged – are currently going on four years of a loving, argument-free relationship.
• I added a recumbent trike to my life that was “too pricey to afford,” but thanks to massive action, I bought a demo model that wiped $1500 off the price tag (plus it came with a bunch of upgrades and I didn’t pay shipping).
• I massive actioned us into a gorgeous home in Atlanta just eight-minutes from my husband’s job (a commute practically unheard of in Atlanta).

Your challenge:

Think massive action is too woo-woo for your life and probably doesn’t work anyway? Okay, then try this challenge: choose one thing you’d like to have in your life that’s just a tad out of reach. (Let’s start slow.)

Then apply massive action to your project:

One

Begin by writing about your project. What will you feel when you’ve brought home the new item/lifestyle? (Write about ten feelings you’ll experience when you lose twenty pounds, slide that new kayak into the river, or hand over $1,000 to your favorite charity.)

Two

Free-write ten common sense actions you can take to attain your item/lifestyle.

Three

Now free-write ten insane, totally wild actions you can take to attain your goal. (As in, “I could steal a kayak, I could build my own” and so forth. The crazier, the better.) As Prince said, “Let’s go crazy.”

Four

Now, take action from your list, all the while telling yourself that stopping is not an option. Just keep on keeping on:

• If it takes longer than you’d assumed, keep going.
• If it’s much harder than you’d imagined, also keep going. (Your mantra: we can do hard things.)
• If the December holidays, your birthday, rain, snow, a hot summer, a bad cold etc creates more of an obstacle than you’d anticipated, keep going: no excuse to stop.

The main directive: don’t stop writing, experiencing your feelings, and engaging in action until that kayak is under your butt in the river.

That said, here’s one wrinkle in the massive action story:

• Let’s say, I want to walk into my garage and find a gorgeous, fire-engine red Jeep waiting for me. But – and this is key – I don’t want the Jeep to the exclusion of my sons’ (pricey) lessons like theater, piano, and Krav Maga.
• Or say I love the ocean and want to live near it, but uprooting my kids from Atlanta is a deal-killer. (The boys would be horrified to leave friends, infrastructure and so forth.)
• And say I need a weekly bathroom cleaner. (Don’t we all?) But at $100 a week (or more), it’s a no-go currently because of the boys’ many lessons.

You see, I only go massive action on an item or lifestyle if I know — from my free-writing — that I won’t let a single thing stop me from achieving that change in my life. Sure, I could go all massive action and put a gorgeous red Jeep in my garage, but I know that other goals that also truly matter to me would go sideways.

Massive action can only happen if nothing will stand in our way of getting what we want like – in my case — family travel, or getting along with my sister, or buying a recumbent trike.

I only go massive action on something that matters to me – as long as the item/lifestyle doesn’t threaten other aspects of my life that are also high priorities (like my family and animals).

I’d love to hear a time you’ve gone “massive action” on something — even though you might not have known the name for it — that matters to you!!

♥, Wendy