Pearl # 1

You and I evolved to be part of a pack. We’re not meant to be loners, and those of us who are, aren’t doing well.

With that in mind, how are we supposed to embed smart eating habits into our lives when the pack eats a gazillion calories a day?

Great question.

If someone sees that you plan your meals in advance, or watches as you order a small dinner, members of the pack might say, “Oh, you’re on one of your diets” or that it’s “unhealthy to make such a big deal about food.”

But when you’re living from an internal locus, it doesn’t bother you because you alone make the decision about what and much and at what time you eat.

Take last week. It was late afternoon and I was “eating before I eat.” My husband and son – who’ve both lived with me for awhile now — ganged up and said, “We’re having dinner in 45 minutes, can’t you wait?”

I said, “If I show up at the dinner table super hungry, I’ll overeat.” Duh.

You’re the Boss of You.

For success on this trek of losing after 50, it’s necessary that you get comfortable standing up for yourself when everyone has an opinion on how and what you eat. When they make comments, say thanks for caring and change the subject. I’ve also used, “losing weight has made my back feel so much better.” (Which is true.)

One more example, say you’re driving home from a family outing, and — out of the blue — everyone wants ice cream. You think, that does sound good and pull into Brusters.

But here’s the thing: you hadn’t been thinking about ice cream at all. You’d been thinking about something else entirely. Because the family had ice cream on the brain, you end up eating ice cream with them.

Feeling like we’re out of the pack triggers one thing; our survival cave-woman brain. The best way to get back into the pack? Pizza and beer with friends on Friday!

It takes time and patience to build the confidence-muscle when you’re establishing new eating habits. Your confidence-muscle is likely a baby now, but gets stronger the more you use it. One day the confidence-muscle will have your back when you tell a friend at Starbucks, “thank you but I don’t want a chocolate cookie Frappuccino. Just coffee with almond milk which will go perfectly with my purse-snack.”

Eventually the food police among us will become bored with your new-normal and will start bugging someone else, or get back to their own lives. ♥

Pearl #2

Is food fuel or fun for you? Back in the day, food was one hundred percent fun for me. To be fair it was probably more like 85 percent. But then I lost the weight and gained solid habits along the way.

Today fifteen years into maintenance, I’ve flipped those percentages. Now I eat for fuel (fruits, veggies, brown rice etc.) ninety percent of the time and keep it to about ten percent “fun food.”

In our culture there are too many reasons to eat poorly: he graduated, she had a baby, he found a job, she got into her college of choice. Then there’s the holidays, anniversaries and so on.

If we’re being honest with ourselves we can always come up with a reason to eat fun food. These days I can easily tell when I’m eating for fuel, or having the occasional treat. ♥

Pearl 3

Last night I had a fleeting thought of, gee, more food before bed sure sounds good. (I wasn’t actually hungry-hungry, I was more sugar-hungry.)

But then I told myself: you’re having lunch with your son tomorrow. You can have something special then.

And with that, I went to bed perfectly happy.

Learning supportive self-talk is key to making smarter food choices. ♥

Pearl # 4

The Self-Sabotage Department. This is what I heard this week, you’re too old to (insert project).

Mainly, by simply calling out the saboteur and giving her a name, her power dissipates. Yet sometimes I think there might be a kernel of truth in her point, so in those cases I give more thought to what she’s bugging me about.

First, I sleep on it. The saboteur delivers her most damage right before bed. The next day, I write in my journal, and work to separate the critical saboteur voice from my “hey this needs your attention” voice.

The holidays are just a moment away and this is my time of year to overdo it: over-bake, over-buy presents, over-decorate and so forth. Traditionally the saboteur voice is like a slow drum beat in my head: it’s not enough, it’s not enough, it’s not enough.

So instead of indulging in my usual overdoing, this year I’ll journal about my tendency to go big, and work to separate the saboteur from an appropriate participation t in the holiday season. ♥

Pearl # 5

“Don’t practice until you get it right. Practice until you can’t get it wrong.” — Unknown ♥

A request: Will you share a food or recipe that you love that combines the healthy with the fun (from Pearl Two). Comment below and I’ll pull the ideas together for a future blog post.

Happy October 1 everybody!

♥, Wendy

P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

Some links may be affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases. Of course you incur no additional cost.

Emotional Eating.

For those of us who grew up in a challenging childhood, food was a whole new ballgame: we grew up using food as a substitute for what we weren’t getting at home.

For emotional eaters, food can be quite the chameleon. Just tell the box of grocery store donuts what you need, and — presto — the donuts will provide:

• Soothing after trauma (one horrific incident or many years of abuse)
• Excitement when we’re bored to tears.
• Distraction when real life is a pain in the tush.
• Anesthesia when we’re too despondent to move.
• A cloak when we want extra weight to help us disappear, i.e. blend in.

But let’s back up a moment.

Say a person’s childhood was particularly difficult. Many turned to liquor, cigarettes, drugs, over-dieting (anorexia) or over-dating.

We, on the other hand, preferred the comfort of chocolate cake.

Food’s Innocent, Right?

The thing is: food isn’t illegal and doesn’t fry our brain cells. Food doesn’t cause lung cancer (although beware: food’s a culprit in many diseases including cancer). Food returns our calls, it never leaves us wondering. Food doesn’t criticize or place demands on us. In short, food is a dear friend.

But here’s where the problem lies: the very substance we used to navigate a difficult childhood, is the exact thing that’s causing us major trouble as an adult.

Yes, food was immense comfort to us when we were young, but today the crutch is no longer needed yet we still clamp onto food like Linus with his blankie.

Our One-Time Friend Goes Rogue.

Today, rather than diving deep into food and childhood trauma, we’ll look at how to slowly shake off the habit of using food to soothe.

(That said, food will never allow us to transform bad habits to good ones unless the trauma is addressed. You’ll only get irritated with yourself for being “unsuccessful again.” Which isn’t what’s happening at all. What’s happening is that trauma needs to be acknowledged and treated in a safe, caring environment. Only you know if it’s time to get one-on-one support from a skilled therapist.)

For those who feel ready to change old overeating habits to good habits, let’s do this.

Journaling Gems.

I will never stop talking about how valuable writing (or typing) is for our mental health. I don’t believe in magic, but something incredibly important happens when we write. I’ve written stuff and thought, “what the heck? where did that come from?!”

In your journal write with abandon to:

• What food meant to me and how I used it when I was under twelve (give at least three answers):
• What food meant to me when I was a teen:
• Same question: when I was in my 20’s:
• In my 30’s:
• 40’s:
• What food means to me today:
• What are three small steps I can make today and this entire week to engage with food in a new healthier way:
• Today I will:
• This week I will:
• On a scale of one to ten (one being not at all, ten being totally onboard) how committed am I to making these three small steps come to life?
• If my score is low, how can I raise it?
• Deep down I know that I’m not terribly committed because:
• What positive thought can I use to remind myself that this time my efforts will produce great results?

Re-visit the three small steps every morning this week and then strategize (on paper) how you’ll incorporate the strategies into your life.

In the end, food may have ushered us successfully through childhood, but it’s now causing trouble. Thank food for the comfort it brought. And now, turn the page to a new chapter in your life that puts food into it’s proper place (sometimes fun; mostly fuel). ♥

You are the loveliest group! I can’t say enough about how wonderful you guys are. It also appears that many of us are dog- and cat-people.

And please keep sending questions or concerns, it helps me better understand where my focus should be.

Have a wonderful week,

♥, Wendy

P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

Some links may be affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases. Of course you incur no additional cost.

I’ve written about “Why Pretty Matters” for ourselves in this post here.

But today we’re talking why pretty matters in our surroundings.

When we’re over 50 and attempting to lose weight, we haven’t chosen a gentle path. Let’s be truthful with our own selves and remember: when losing after 50, we’re trekking the Matterhorn.

There’s no other group who has such a hard time losing and maintaining than women over 50. Being upfront with ourselves can bring a deep sigh of relief as in, phew, it’s not just my imagination, it really is hard to lose after 50.

Therefore every tweak we make to our own minds – i.e. habits — gives us crucial tools to stay confidently on our path of smart eating.

Pretty Backdrops to our Lives.

Embrace these tools that I’m about to detail. Remember what we’re shooting for: more support for ourselves as we lose after 50.

Beauty Tool One.

Two Christmases ago, I bought a gorgeous pink mug for myself and three friends. My hope was that we’d think of each other when drinking morning coffee.

That said, what do you eat on? Do you get a burst of happiness at using certain plates, cutlery and mugs? Dining on beauty is a hugely important tool.

If you don’t get a little thrill from a certain plate or mug, buy something special for just you. Let the family know: these are mine. If you’re on a tight budget, you’ll find gorgeous tableware for a song at a thrift store.

Beauty Tool Two.

Your bedroom. When you walk into your room does your heart beat, ooh, pretty? Or is it more like, this carpet needs cleaning.

Make your bed beautiful and/or cozy. And if you need to get your carpet cleaned: get your carpet cleaned.

Last winter I dove deep into cozy and bought an electric blanket and extra pillows for my bed, I also spread my grandmother’s knitted blanket on top. My bed might not make the pages of House Beautiful, but it screams comfort and happiness to me.

A friend bought beautiful new sheets for her bed. Smart.

Uplevel your bedroom, it’s an investment that pays off daily.

Beauty Tool Three.

These day a lot of us work from home. What is your desk situation? Is it pretty? Does it make you want to sit down and get to work?

My desk is in the living room. I know that sounds crazy, but if I were upstairs working in a bedroom office I’d never see my teens. They’re barely around as it is.

Here’s what I’ve done with my desk: I clean and tidy it daily and I put a vase of twinkle lights on as décor in place of a plant or flowers (that the cat would knock off for fun). My desk is also at the window that showcases the wild birds eating the seed I put out every morning.

Beauty Tool Four.

Your car. Is it clean? If not, join me in taking your car to get a bath every other month. At first the cost freaked me out, but in just one visit I understood the importance to my mental health. Lol. In alternate months, I clean it myself. And I de-trash it daily.

Beauty Tool Five.

Holiday décor. Might sound obvious, but every time I see something beautiful for the season like a pretty pumpkin, a Thanksgiving mantle, a lighted deer I get a jolt of happiness.

Beauty Tool Six.

Sounds kind of silly, but I have a pink ipod. I use it daily to listen to podcasts and I figured why not get a pink one? I’m not suggesting you buy expensive tech. But I am saying that beautifying the items you most use isn’t silly it’s just one more way to layer pretty into our lives.

The Real Agenda Behind Beautiful Surroundings.

Making your life beautiful isn’t frivolous. It’s required. When you choose gorgeous plates and mugs, when you create a cozy bed, when you make your world beautiful: you’re signalling to yourself in no uncertain that you are important and matter. (And sadly, the opposite teaches the opposite.)

Remember, we can do hard things. Beautifying our lives gives us a beautiful view as we trek losing after 50.

If you like this piece, it would be awesome if you’d share it with someone you love.

And if you’re on Instagram, I’d love a follow: @TheInspiredEater.

Have a wonderful week, everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

Photo, gorgeous phone case, (& more bejeweled pieces) are by celdeconail.

Pearl # 1

Full disclosure: There is a wrinkle to losing after 50.

 Back when I was “well-insulated,” I never had dark circles under my eyes.

Ever.

My face was a blown up balloon: smooth, no wrinkles, and definitely no dark circles.

When I took off the final pounds, several stayed poofed on my face. Then menopause hit.

When that thrill ride was over, I emerged a raccoon.

I tried everything: concealers (Shape Tape and the popular Maybelline one) and a rainbow of color correctors. I even tried carefully dabbing zinc sunblock under my eyes (just to see what would happen). 

Nothing happened.

And therein lies the adage women have heard for ages, “You need to pick: your fanny? Or your face?” meaning if you lose too much weight your face deflates like a balloon.

When I first caught sight of my dark circles, I was not happy and decided to gain five pounds. Still nothing. I kept the five pounds on for six months to see if anything would improve.

Nothing improved.

My Takeaway

At 67, Oprah looks fantastic. Sure, she’s a a billionaire and so forth, but partly her looks are due to not over-losing in her 60s. Keeping some weight on keeps her face filled.

In retrospect, I likely needed to gain ten to fifteen pounds, and then let them hang around forever to really impact my dark circles. But jeans, nicer clothes, undies, everything I had were in a specific size and blah, blah, blah.

Don’t make my mistake.

As you slowly lose – giving your body generous amounts of time to adjust and stabilize along the way – ditch the idea of getting down to your college or pre-baby weight. Shoot for a happy middle between your fanny and your face.

Because not only can’t we eat like when we were young, turns out we can’t lose like we’re young either. ♥

Pearl # 2

You know, “calories in, calories out?” Well, I’m no scientist, doctor or nutritionist, but I think one day they’ll arrive at the idea that there’s something to the timing of calories rather than just the amount we take in.

I’m not talking about intermittent fasting. Or maybe I partially am. I’m talking about eating the “fun” calories for breakfast, having a moderate lunch, a small snack in the afternoon and a tiny plate at dinner. By 6:30 p.m. I’m done eating for the day. (If I eat breakfast at 8:30 a.m., a 14-hour intermittent fast isn’t bad.

I started this eating plan in January and have been surprised at how chill it’s made me re: healthy eating. I  haven’t been struggling with staying within my preferred one to three pound range.

I wrote more about success with this type of eating here and here. ♥

Pearl # 3

Welcome to my mind on self-sabotage where every incredibly awesome idea comes to die.

This week I had self-sabotage thoughts on a constant-loop. I wish that we could surgically remove these Eeyore thoughts. This is what I heard this week:

•  “All your effort won’t do much and you’ll feel like an idiot again.”
• “You’re spending too much time on this. You’re stealing from your family!”
• “Your life is good, you’re nuts not to kick back with Netflix and chill.”

Here’s what I do with these thoughts. If they happen after 6 p.m. I remind myself not to listen to them at all. I pretend they aren’t there and grab a good book to quiet them down. If they happen during the day, I listen closely. Maybe they have a point. I give their ideas serious thought, and then implement fifty percent of what they’re pushing for. Our ultimate plan: identify self-sabotaging thoughts as the life ruining wet blankets that they are. ♥

Pearl # 4

Best Hack in the World Alert! I was late to the cell phone party, so you might already know about this hack.

I’ve never been a fitness enthusiast. The best I’ve ever done is almost three years of weekly yoga/Pilates classes, but my instructor moved. (Lamo reason for not finding new classes, I know.)

Motivating myself to use my indoor recumbent bike has been a massive fail.

But here’s what I figured out: I put the Netflix app on my phone and told myself that I can only watch a show when I’m pedaling the bike. I know!! Brilliant, right?!

I went from thirty to fifty minutes on the bike. I can’t wait for my endurance to build so that I can binge-watch. ♥

Pearl # 5

If you’ve gotten an idea from this post to use in your own life, awesome!! Let me know what you liked, or what you’d like more of for October posts. The holidays are galloping our way, I’m betting you have questions re: maintaining or losing after 50 during the holidays.

And trust me, it’s not your imagination. Health is hard.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime. 🙂

One morning long ago, my husband practically pranced into the house with a pink box, opened the lid and asked, “Want a donut?”

At the time, I’d lost the remaining pounds, but was still on Bambi-legs adjusting to my new normal: maintenance.

“No. None for me, but thanks.”

He replied kindly, “Oh, live a little!”

He wasn’t food-pushing. It was more seeming pleased that I was “all-in” on smart eating and not back to my usual yo-yo plan.

Plus, of course, he wanted the box to himself.

No, But Seriously.

Saying no thanks. Why is it so hard?

Here’s my thought. Saying no to food is brutally difficult when we haven’t yet shifted from an external locus of control to an internal locus. (Locus is just a note away from the word “focus.” Locus in therapist-speak means “the place we come from.”)

People with an external locus allow their eating-lives to be determined by events, people and any luck that happens their way. For example:

• She walked in with stacks of pizzas for the meeting that turned into a total snooze. I couldn’t resist.

• Who isn’t stuffed after Thanksgiving ? Come on! It’s tradition!

• The Christmas holidays are my greatest weakness. Everyone goes crazy with food and drink! How can you not?

Those of us with an external locus explain results by saying that something outside of our control happened to us like a holiday, a season, a person or people, an unusual event like a wedding and so on.

You can easily see it in children. Kids are all about the external locus like when they say, “He made me do it!” (Even if parents don’t have a name for it, they work diligently to teach their little people how to come from an internal locus.)

You get the idea.

But great news: we’re not born with a tendency to be one or the other. We decide for ourselves whether to live from an external or internal place.

Saying No 101.

Most of us begin with an overcooked, limp noodle of a no, but with perseverance we can strengthen it into becoming a part of who we are as people. Yes, our land is blanketed in food-porn, but our culture is easier to navigate when we keep our “no-tool” with us at all times.

Think of it this way: the more you use your “no-tool”, the closer you are to becoming a person who lives from an internal locus. Meaning you get the say over what weight you feel best at; not Kroger, not your favorite Mexican, and definitely not Dunkin’ Donuts.

When I Say No.

I say no a lot. I say no when we’re on vacation (cruise ships are calorie ships), on holidays, eating out, and with family and friends. Even myself (as in: no, you cannot have the leftover Halloween candy: get it out of the house etc.).

The Habit of No.

Begin saying no every single day for forever. You want it to become second-nature. I know this might sound funny, but keep a sentence-a-day journal chronicling when you say no, like this:

9-12-21 – Your sister invites you out for Mexican. You say, “no, not tonight.”

9-13-21 – Your mom is always telling you to lighten up just before she offers you a chocolate croissant and you reply, “No, but thank you.”

9-14 –21 – Your husband makes pancakes for the kids every Saturday and asks if you’d like some. “No, I’m good. None for me.”

Watch as your no-muscle gets stronger and stronger every week, every month, every year. And eventually the people in your orbit will stop asking. (Which I really love.)

Is shifting to an internal locus easy? Sadly, nothing awesome is easy on this planet, but this is the moment when we remind ourselves that we can do hard things.

I’d love to hear your “no” stories. Feel free to share in the comments below. ♥

I mentioned in an earlier post that I love early fall because I take my shepherd to three end-of-summer doggie swim events. Below (under the purple text) is a picture of one very happy dog and his mom. Look in your area for these popular doggie swims too.

Remember you and I are forever beautiful works in progress.

I try to remember this thought throughout my day. Let’s remember it together.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Have you read Buh-Bye Aunt Bea Bod: 13 Tools to Lose Weight & Maintain a Forever Loss?

I packed Aunt Bea with every essential method I used to lose fifty-five and still use today.

Remember getting your driver’s license? How learning to drive wasn’t a “one and done” thing? Same with Aunt Bea. The Aunt Bea post is your ride to embedding Smart Eating habits into your life, habits that will have your back forever.

You can find Aunt Bea on this screen to your right. Just add your email and click the pink button. You’ll be sent an Aunt Bea email. If you don’t see an email within thirty minutes, check your spam. And always feel free to contact me: Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com.

Or better yet, click Begin Here. ♥♥♥ Print Aunt Bea, and tape her inside a kitchen cupboard, on your car’s dash, under your pillow, and so forth.

Apply to life as needed.

Meeko, 10, is the supermodel for The Chic Dog Boutique ‘s stunning doggie jewelry collection.

I’ve noticed that so many of us love animals.

But I promise. This is not a “walk your dog for better health” post.

Here we go.

Pearl # 1

I run my German shepherd daily to keep his ten-year-old self in shape, and it occurred to me that what you and I do for our darling fur-people in their senior years is an interesting tutorial for our own lives.

Some examples:

• I make sure River moves daily. Instead of running him for a full hour like I once did, I break his walks into two: one in the morning and another in the evening. Translation for humans: Incorporating fitness into several parts of our day might be more do-able than one great burst of a workout.
• I won’t let River become overweight. He’s fairly sedentary now, so keeping calories light is vital. Today snacks are banana, carrots, cut up apple, cucumber and the like. Translation: I know, you know, but it bears repeating that you and I need fewer calories these days too.
• I keep it fun for River. For example I put him on a sit/stay and hide his breakfast or dinner bowl somewhere on the first floor of our house. I then yell, “find!” And he tears through the rooms looking for his food. He usually finds it quickly, but I’ve stumped him a couple of times. In other words, I do all I can to stave off his boredom. Translation: Losing after 50 is no walk in the park. Snoozy-food causes big trouble. Keep healthy food that excites you on hand 24/7.
• I brush – actually, Furminate – River daily. I want him to feel pampered and loved. Translation: Make the extra effort to take care of yourself. That might mean asking your partner for a foot rub or it might mean a professional massage. Be creative and come up with ways to Furminate yourself. Daily.
• At ten, River naps more. Translation: don’t fight a siesta. If you need to close your eyes, close your eyes. ♥

Pearl # 2

Here’s the thing, we think terrible, awful, no-good unhelpful thoughts about ourselves on the regular. Dare I say it: we can be very hard on us. Check out this tool that will keep your brilliance front-and-center.

What is one of the proudest experiences of your life?

I’m talking about a successful experience that will always leave you thinking, I can’t believe it, but I did it. I actually did it. I’m talking about the kind of success that’ll melt your heart even when you’re 98.

For me, that experience is homeschooling my two. I will forever be astounded at what the four of us – my husband and the “boys” – accomplished.

Okay. Now watch how I embed the memory into my daily life.

First, in my mind, I choose an object.

For myself, I choose the first Little House book by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I then direct myself to infuse the Little House book with the elation and pride I will always carry in my heart about homeschooling.

I then ask myself to make the Little House book huge like a mountain in my mind. I do.

Then to make it tiny like a diamond ring. Again, I do.

Finally I make the book a regular size, and coach myself to recall this image daily. The idea is that every time I think of the book, I’ll be immediately flooded with wondrous pride at homeschooling my two from snickerdoodles into incredible young men.

Now it’s your turn. Think of a time when you blew your own mind. Embed that fabulous experience into one object. Objects can be an image of a tall pine, a 4^th of July firework’s finale, even a green sea turtle you once saw in Hawaii.

Now mentally place your “overflowing pride” memory into, say, the sea turtle. In your mind make the turtle huge, then small and finally medium. (You’re showing yourself that you have control over your turtle-thought.)

This tool is a way to quickly bridge into remembering your strengths.

Sixty-six days of sea turtle, here we come. ♥

Pearl # 3

Last week I said that I’d share the self-sabotaging thoughts that hammer me daily (ex: this is too hard, you can’t do this, this is for others and so forth).

These notes are from last week.

This week I didn’t notice as many self-sabotage thoughts as self sabotage behavior. And yet, I know that a thought always comes before a behavior.

For example, I love to work in a spruced-up, clean environment. Do I start the day with a clean desk and tidy as I go through the day? Heck no.

Turns out my self sabotage behaviors were so ingrained that they’d become terrible habits that needed to be rooted out and replaced with good habits.

So I started to dig into my self sabotage thoughts that lead to my cluttery desk: I don’t have time to clean it, I have a doctor’s appointment. Not now, I have to go to sleep. This afternoon I’ll clean it. I’ll clean it in the morning. Tomorrow for sure I’ll clean it.

Challenge: Don’t allow self sabotaging thoughts to run amok in your mind. Dig deep and replace those thoughts and behaviors with habits that will have your back forever. (Here I go, 66-days to embed my new clean-desk behavior. Today is Day 1, I’ll let you know how the next 59 go.) ♥

Pearl # 4

Tim Ferriss keeps only four books on his desk at all times. This is one of the four. The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz.

The publish date is vintage – 1959 – but the ideas packed within are eternal. Schwartz writes about how to be a self-starter, how to stay the path, and most of all how to create a bigger life than you’d ever imagined possible.

I don’t know where Mr. Schwartz learned all of this good stuff, but he nailed it. Run, don’t walk.

I can’t wait to hear what you think about The Magic of Thinking Big. ♥

Pearl # 5

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” ♥

Christopher Reeves

We’re charting new territory, learning to eat well within a food-gone-wild culture. There will be obstacles, but that’s okay because we’re learning: we can do hard things.

Remember you and I are forever beautiful works in progress.

I try to remember this thought throughout my day. Let’s remember it together.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Have you read Buh-Bye Aunt Bea Bod: 13 Tools to Lose Weight & Maintain a Forever Loss?

I packed Aunt Bea with every essential method I used to lose fifty-five and still use today.

Remember getting your driver’s license? How learning to drive wasn’t a “one and done” thing? Same with Aunt Bea. The Aunt Bea post is your ride to embedding Smart Eating habits into your life, habits that will have your back forever.

You can find Aunt Bea on this screen to your right. Just add your email and click the pink button. You’ll be sent an Aunt Bea email. If you don’t see an email within thirty minutes, check your spam. And always feel free to contact me: Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com.

Or better yet, click Begin Here. ♥♥♥ Print Aunt Bea, and tape her inside a kitchen cupboard, on your car’s dash, under your pillow, and so forth.

Apply to life as needed. 🙃

It’s Friday! Let’s talk pearls. 🙂

Pearl # 1

Your Three-Day Weekend Survival Kit

If three-day weekends end up being “must consume mass quantities” (SNL, Coneheads), you’re not alone.

Long weekends trip many of us up. The lengthy days take on a vacation-vibe and feel unstructured. And it’s that unstructured feeling that always pulled the rug out from under me until I committed to putting a plan into place.

If – like me — you overeat because of a lack of structure here’s how to take charge of the situation:

• I start with my journal. I plan how each day of the weekend will progress and write in granular detail. I’ll ask myself: which parts of Friday night will be challenging? How will Saturday be tough? What about Sunday and Monday? I includ how I’ll repair each difficult moment (eating out? I’ll pull up the menu online and plan which plate to order). Most importantly I engage with my plan throughout the weekend. (I never just write and forgot it.)

• Before the weekend starts in earnest, I buy my favorite smart foods. I indulge in special, healthy foods I’d normally consider “too expensive” so I won’t feel deprived.

• I create micro-goals. For this weekend mine are: ride my indoor bike for thirty along with my floor workout, and walk River each day. I’m also planning unsalted mixed nuts for breakfast, a large salad for lunch, small snacks and a tiny dinner at 6:00 p.m. Then I’m done for the day.

• I also create micro-rewards. Micro-rewards are a big deal when you’re losing after 50 – I don’t neglect this important step. For me, a micro-reward might be a new fern for the deck. For someone else it might be a pedi or an hour alone to read.

Happy three-day!! And if there’s something I should have included here but didn’t, please comment below or write to me: Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com (I LOVE mail!!). ♥

Pearl # 2

At age 55 I was in my first car accident. (Someone tapped my bumper decades ago, but too tiny to count.)

However, the accident at 55 counted. An 88-year-old woman drove into a brand new car which rammed into my old mom-van. It was 9:15 in the morning. I was fine, but the van was totaled.

Actually, I wasn’t totally fine. The airbag deployed and broke my arm. A doctor later told me to get a bone density test. Turns out, airbags aren’t supposed to break arms.

Since the test wasn’t glowing I started calcium supplements. This pearl is just a nudge to those of us past-meno: we need to take in 1200 milligrams of calcium a day. I get calcium with OJ in the morning and yogurt in the afternoon, but I definitely don’t get enough calcium. So I upped my intake with a supplement. ♥

Pearl # 3

Secret sauce alert: I reduced my chances of goofing (once called “cheating”) by telling everyone in my immediate circle not to give me food products as gifts.

Don’t be embarrassed. Make it clear to everyone in your orbit that you’re not going through a phase or a midlife crisis or whatever. Tell them: flowers, a seed packet, a back-rub all have zero calories and that’s what you’d love to receive. Not donuts, cake, or ice cream.

Prepare yourself. Your family will test you. Life will test you. Even your own brain will test you.

Over and over again, say to them all, “I don’t roll like that anymore. Those days are over and gone. Cr@p-food is not a gift.”

You’ll pass with flying colors. ♥

Pearl # 4

I mentioned in a former post that I love noticing self-sabotaging thoughts, and then doing the opposite of whatever they tell me. I’d like to make this a regular “pearl” each week. I’ll make note of the self-sabotaging thoughts I have and share them with you.

I hope you’ll root out your self-sabotaging thoughts too. Cutting these incredibly unhelpful, no good, really terrible thoughts off at the pass is the whole idea.

The more we can laugh at these nonsense thoughts, the stronger we become.

This is what I heard in the last two days.

Self-sabotaging thought: I have a health issue, nobody would blame me if I stopped working, and read and watched Netflix all day.

I responded: Is that the best you can do? LOL!!

Self-sabotaging thought: A blog about weight loss? Seriously? Have you seen your stomach lately?! (I hear this gem daily.)

I responded: I carried twins. To have a flat tum I’d have to go back in time and not have kids or get a surgical “mommy-tuck.” Both highly unlikely.

Because these non-supportive thoughts are at their worst in the evenings, I’m now on the lookout after dinner. I hear them, laugh and then ignore them completely. Please join me in ignoring your self-sabotaging thoughts. ♥

Pearl # 5

Don’t make a habit out of choosing what feels good over what’s actually good for you.” – Eric Thomas ♥

Have a wonderful three-day weekend! As I mentioned, I love comments and mail! Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com. Also I’m getting my Instagram-chops. I’d love a follow: @TheInspiredEater.

And, trust me, it’s not your imagination. Health is hard!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

To lose/maintain after age 50, we need to learn how to make a gazillion micro-decisions. Here’s one that trips everyone up.

A reader writes:

We have a large extended family dinner every Sunday.

I have no idea how to stay on a smart eating plan when we’re together and eating and hugging and having a great time.

My response:

Awesome that you’re thinking about this get-together — eating-wise — in advance. Planning is the secret sauce when it comes to parties.

One – What’s the Goal?

A few days before the party or get-together: ask yourself what’s your goal for this party?

• Do you want to eat one piece of pie and not sliver-eat three in the kitchen when nobody’s looking?

• Do you want to avoid grazing on chips, cheese and nuts throughout the evening?

• Do you want to sip a small glass of wine and not three?

Write — don’t just think — your goals in detail and how you’ll navigate each one. Then write your action plan. Writing is a key part of making the best micro-decisions.

Two – What’s the Mission?

Your action plan might include:

• Shopping for the special foods you’ll need to put your plan into action.

• Making at least two veggie dishes that aren’t laden in sauce and mayo along with a huge beautiful salad that everyone will appreciate.

• Serving a dessert like chocolate fondue with chunks of banana and angel food cake for dipping is a great way for you to have a little and no one’s the wiser. Or serve chocolate mousse, but keep the servings tiny. (I knew a woman who served chocolate mousse to her guests, but had sugar-free chocolate pudding in her own glass.) And the best dessert ever? The kind you don’t care about. Smart Tip: the more beautiful your dessert’s presentation, the less dessert you need to serve. Fancy restaurants serve teeny bites of awesome desserts.

• Using the Eat Before You Eat tool. I never arrive anywhere hungry. An easy “bridge” food is half an apple with peanut butter or a scoop of peanut butter straight from the fridge. The idea is to take the edge off so that you’re not ravenous when the food finally shows.

Three – Who’s the Naggiest?

If somebody bugs you about having seconds “because life is short” just smile and say, “I’m taking off the Covid 19.”

The entire table will nod and look at their plate. ♥

Tomorrow is September 1 and I’m telling everyone that I will work out five days a week in September so that I don’t back out. The ultimate plan is to join a new (to me) yoga/Pilates group and not embarrass myself when I take a class (e.g. slip in my own sweat).

Have a wonderful week! I love questions/comments so ask away in the comment section below or at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com.

I’m finally, finally learning how to do Instagram. I’d love a follow @theinspiredeater. (TIA!!)

And if you feel like health is hard? Join the club!!

♥, Wendy

Pearl # 1

I realize I might sound like a weirdo, but I love thinking about self-sabotage. It’s so interesting to me how insidious self-sabotage thoughts can be in our lives. We listen to them like they’re real. When they’re not at all.

The self-sabotage voice sounds so common sense-ish when he whispers in our ear:

• You don’t have time to work out tomorrow morning; you really need that extra hour of sleep.
• Your family is rarely together all at once. Eat, drink, and be merry, you can do the smart eating thing on Monday.
• Sure, Christmas is four months away. But no worries about saving, buy the cute handbag and Christmas will sort itself out. It always does.

See what I mean? The little voice sounds like it has our back and all is well in the world.

But here’s the problem: we can’t – in today’s vernacular – live our “best lives” if we don’t catch on when the self-sabotage monster is calling the shots.

We all engage in self-sabotage in one way or another. Some do it in a giant way like a friend who gets this close to earning an important degree, only to bail at the end because her mother’s sick and “needs her.”

Or some of us do it in little ways like we “forget” to do laundry and wake up the next morning with nothing to wear.

My self-sabotage voice is at its most blaring in the evening. It tells me with utter confidence:

• What you’re trying to do is too hard. If it were meant to be, it would be easy.
• You’ll never get a handle on ABC, just half-ass it like you’ve done for decades. You’ll be fine!
• Don’t reach out to so-and-so! She’s renowned in her field, she won’t have time to respond to you.

How to Spot the Monster In A Second.

Here’s how to flush out your self-sabotage creep: his thoughts always screw Future You.

Always.

The self-sabotage voice is always pushing for the cushiest deal he can possibly negotiate for today. He doesn’t think long-term. Ever.

A Challenge

Begin to notice what your self-sabotage monster sounds like. Also notice when he’s most likely bothering you (morning? Evening?). Then write down every self-sabotage thought that presents itself.

Trust me, once you’re looking for these terrible messages, it becomes easier to spot them. I’ve gotten decent at noticing when Mr. No-Help is on the scene. I think, oh it’s the self-sabotage guy again. And I refuse to listen.

Because I refuse to screw Future Me. ♥

Pearl # 2

Years ago I was seeing a therapist who casually mentioned that “feelings are like clouds, they come and they go.” She made the comment off-handedly, but I’ve embraced those words as if they were water to a dying woman.

I took her words and applied them to food cravings. I noticed that cravings come and go just like the clouds.

Cravings present, hang out for a bit and then move on.

Huh.

So that said, I only needed to find a way to wait out the craving with a hot shower, good book, an evening walk and so forth.

My mantra: feelings and cravings are like clouds.

They float on by. ♥

Pearl # 3

The headlines have long screamed, “Lose 10 Pounds in 10 Days!” Or “Meet a Mom Who Lost One Hundred Pounds in A Year!” We’ve been somewhat brainwashed into thinking that fast weight loss is good and safe and totally do-able.

We’ve been taught to think of Smart Eating as something outside of our “real” lives.

And that’s just the way the Big Food guys want it. Kraft, Hostess, Frito-Lay, The Coca-Cola Company, Big Ice Cream all see little profit if we rarely partake of their “food.”

Shifting from thinking that weight loss/maintenance is a short-term activity to it’s more like a long race, will support us through the years.

Eating well is not something we start on a Monday or at the “beginning of bathing suit season.”

Instead Smart Eating becomes who we are as people. We drive around with baby carrots and cut-up apples in a cold bag. We stop eating at 6 p.m. each night. When we want fun food, we eat it in the morning with our coffee.

Over age fifty, that’s just how we roll. ♥

Pearl # 4

Do you go “all-in?” It’s the saying of the moment, and I love it. I plan to use it forever.

I know a woman who finally left the rat race to open her own boutique. I watched this person go all-in. She chose a group to create her beautiful blog. She hired a social media coach. She just put pedal-to-the-metal.

I was blown away.

I tend to nickel-and-dime myself when I’m reaching for a dream. Well, let’s see – I’ll think – I want to start taking yoga and Pilates. Hey, here’s the most inexpensive place in town!

In that particular example, I found a fabulous yoga studio, but you see my point.

When you identify what you really, really want in life, go all-in.

The results will astound you. ♥

Pearl # 5

“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something & then go about making sure that it doesn’t happen.” Alyce Cornyn-Selby ♥

We made it to the last week of August!

I love September for an unusual reason: communities around Atlanta close their pools, but open them to the dogs for a weekend of doggie swimming!

It is a blast! I’ve found five pools that host the Doggie Swimming Bash and I buy my sweetheart slots on Saturday and on Sunday.

What are you looking forward to in September? I love comments and questions!! 🙂

And remember, it’s not your imagination: Health is hard for all of us!

♥, Wendy