I don’t have a thing against Starbucks, per se. I’m just not wild about any fast-food drive-thrus and their artificial ingredients that wreak havoc on our weight and health.
What’s that?
Starbucks isn’t really fast-food? It’s actually in a luxury class all its own?
Well, let’s get quick background on the subject.
Last summer the famous McD featured a Chocolatey Pretzel McSomething, but it’s been replaced.
This coming summer the king of fast-food is bringing us the Strawberry Shortcake McCalories made with vanilla ice cream, strawberry-flavored clusters (whatever those are), and shortbread cookies.
And here’s what’s important to remember, the summer McFrozen is “limited time only” so you and I need to move our caboose. Like, stat.
So back to Starbucks. Their featured summer drinks are the Chocolate Java Mint Frappiccino and the White Chocolate Macadamia Cream Cold Brew.
According to Starbucks’s press release the drinks are available starting in May in the U.S. for a limited time, while supplies last.
See what I mean?
McD’s McFlurry and Starbucks’s drinks are both “limited time only” and we need to move fast or we’ll lose out on this spectacular drink experience.
But my guess is, dig under the surface and you’ll find that the fast-food giants are actually serving “limited time only” desserts as a way to create a habit.
The fast-food peeps are aware that they have “true fans”, what I’m betting is they hope their specialty drinks will tempt on-the-fence customers and the never-evers (like myself) to drive screaming into their drive-thrus for a drink-dessert that’s the living end.
But here are the two pain-points for you and me:
1) Training our taste-buds to love a bowl of plain strawberries maybe capped with a swish of whipped cream is our life-long plan. If our mouths are having a party with the high-sugar and/or high-fat desserts like the McFlurry, the humble strawberry doesn’t stand a chance.
2) Eliminating our habit of stopping at any fast-food is the whole idea. Big Fast-Food wants to obliterate our good habit of cutting them out of our lives entirely.
How to get around the fast-food in your life? Read on. ♥
Pearl Two
You want fun-food? I once told myself, “Hey, no problem, you can have the food, as long as you first study the nutrition count.”
My rule for myself was that if I read the nutrition labels on a product or the nutrition count online then I could have the fun-food.
But somehow that gorgeous pizza didn’t look so awesome when I realized that – holy cow — a slice of Mellow Mushroom’s meat pizza is 530 calories, 27 g fat, 1,370 mg sodium, and 48 g carbs. And who stops at one slice?
The sodium alone is crazy.
Figuring out the nutrition count on donuts, fast food burgers and ice cream is life-changing.
Do you see what’s actually happening? It’s your cavewoman who wants to chow the pizza. But it’s your prefrontal who reads the nutrition info. leading you to make smart food choices.
Get the prefrontal involved and it becomes your decision what you’ll eat and when. ♥
Pearl Three
June’s topic for the month: what cannot be an afterthought in our smart eating lives. Every week we’ll talk activities that require hard-core planning rather than off-the-cuff moves we might normally make.
Today’s topic: we’re heading into summer vacations and planning how and what you’ll eat on the trip needs to be given serious thought.
I’ve been a travel writer for 16 years now, and I never gained weight on trips. Having a solid plan in place and not winging it moment by moment gets all the credit. Whether I was traveling by car or plane, I knew exactly how the food-situation would go down.
Bottom line: Know before you go. ♥
Pearl Four
Books love us and want us to be at our preferred weight.
You are owed an apology. And the Mountains Echoed by one of my favorite authors, Khaled Hosseini, should have been one of the first book-desserts I shared. The book’s genre falls under both “historical fiction” and “domestic fiction.”
Total honesty: if I’d read a description about this title’s plot I’d have thought, “hard pass.” But I’d read Hosseini’s other two masterpieces — The Kite Runnerand A Thousand Splendid Suns– so I was 100-percent in. When I came up with the idea of book-dessert it was because of books like And the Mountains Echoed.
So, that’s my review: 100-percent. ♥
Pearl Five
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” C.G. Jung ♥
We can access our subconscious when we pick up our journal and allow our subconscious to talk with us through the pen. ♥
Have a fantastic weekend, all!
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.
Our daily motto: full immersion. Full immersion. Full immersion. Say it often and in time your brain will latch on and begin to make better smart eating choices.
Hi Thrivers,
Fun week babysitting an African grey parrot. So sweet, so smart.
On with the show! ♥
Pearl One
When my boys were young, we moved often enough that homeschooling them seemed like the best plan. Also, as a travel writer destinations and hotels don’t want to deal with media during their busy seasons, but in bleak February they’re like, “come on down!” So, the boys being homeschooled made it easier to travel.
And one son’s personality did not lend itself to the school system. (To put it mildly.)
So, I put one toe on the home school yellow brick road and never looked back. It wasn’t long before I realized that to do a spectacular job, I had to go all-in.
It was time: go full immersion or go home.
Homeschooling my boys became my thing, I even put reading my own books on-hold for many years because reading kid-lit was an enormous slice of our homeschooling life. If we weren’t doing an actual lesson, we were with Laura and Pa watching a railroad being built.
Point is: weight loss and preservation after age fifty also requires full immersion.
I know. I can hear you saying, “look, lady. My schedule is packed. I might be retired but I’m regularly knee-deep in a, b, and c. Full immersion might be a lovely concept for others, but it won’t fit my lifestyle. What else have ya got?”
That’s the thing.
I don’t have anything else. Attempting to live the Smart Eating Lifestyle without calling it a part-time job and living like it’s your part-time job is the only way I know of to preserve a forever-loss.
If you want the Ozempek quick-fix then, of course, you can lose twenty pounds for the upcoming reunion.
But if you’ve had it with losing and regaining the same pounds over and over again, the time is now to fully immerse into the Smart Eating Lifestyle. (Why is “the time now”? Because we’re not twelve, that’s why.)
As I’ve said, follow my bread crumbs. I want to forge a new chapter for women over fifty; one where we create the best, healthiest second half of life as we possibly can. And that starts with learning how to get to your preferred weight and preserve the loss for a lifetime.
I’ve mentioned before that when I caught a picture of myself at my cousin’s wedding, I honestly didn’t know at first who the heavy woman in the red dress was until I saw my very round face peering back at me.
We’ve got this. I’ll share every micro-step I ever took over the last two decades. Just follow my lead and we can make this happen. But first, commit to the full immersion. ♥
Pearl Two
Put succinctly, being bored when we’re living the Smart Eating Lifestyle is playing with fire. Insert fun into the harder windows of your day. Don’t take boredom lightly. Along with stress and grief, boredom is one of the top three smart eating day-destroyers. ♥
Pearl Three
Topic for July: how to keep steering yourself back onto the Smart Eating Path.
Acknowledging that you will slip into negative eating is the first step in dropping the traditional drama around food (“what’s wrong with me?” “I’ll never be a size 12” and so on). So, you ate the cheesecake. I mean, who hasn’t?
Here’s the new modern-day drama you’re fully encouraged to embrace: grab the ketchup (or salt, whichever’s handy) and squirt the blank out of the offending food that you might inhale. Or take a slice and then squirt it. You have to move fast for this trick to work.
Squirt like your life depends on it. No little blob-squirts, douse the sucker!
The ketchup or salt is doing double-duty for you. 1) Squirting the cheesecake with ketchup means that that particular offensive food is done. Now you can easily throw it away. But 2) the ketchupping action shouts to your brain that life is changing. No longer will we – you and your brain – be at the whim of food. Your brain is always watching, always soaking in what you’re up to. If your brain see’s you decimating negative food often enough it will think, “we don’t like porn-food. Good to know.”
After you’ve ketchupped the last of the cheesecake, wait an hour or two, keep yourself busy, and get back to your happy and healthy food plan (for me that usually means I make my blueberry-oatmeal bowl). And remember, even if you only ketchup the very last bite of cheesecake, you can still call it a win. ♥
Pearl Four
Books love us and want us to be happy.
Summer is for light and frothy books. Who wants to sit at the pool reading the Grapes of Wrath (awesome page-turner, by the way). In honor of summer, I highly recommend Lisa Scottoline’s — rhymes with fettuccine — memoir-funny books.
The books are a LOL-hilarious and a very frank peek behind a successful writer’s curtain. Also, they’re best read in order. 🙂
Why My Third Husband Will Be A Dog: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman
My Nest Isn’t Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space
Best Friends, Occasional Enemies: The Lighter Side of Life as a Mother and Daughter
Happy and Merry
Meet Me at Emotional Baggage Claim
Have a Nice Guilt Trip
Does This Beach Make Me Look Fat?:True Stories and Confessions
I’ve Got Sand In All the Wrong Places
I Need a Lifeguard Everywhere But the Pool
I See Life Through Rose-Colored Glasses ♥
Pearl Five
Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” ― Steve Maraboli ♥
And as we’re getting stronger and more resilient in parts of our lives, we need to acknowledge and high-five ourselves when we pull off something wonderful like getting the colonoscopy we’ve long ignored or taking a new route to see clients so you don’t drive by your (once) favorite donut shop. Throw a little internal party for yourself as in, “wow, look at me. I haven’t had a chip or a cracker in a year!” (Large parties allowed too.)
Thank you so much for everyone who follows me on Facebook and Instagram. Very appreciated.
I would love it if you’d share a post with family, friends, even doctors. 🙂
Have the kind of weekend where you stop and appreciate how cool and accomplished you are.
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.
Is drawing more elegance into your life even on your radar? You’re likely low in Vitamin Elegance and here’s why we need to prioritize this beautiful intention.
Hello Thrivers!
I’m sorry I’m so late today. I’m not even sure why I’m so late! Thank you for hanging in there with me!
My book — thanks to the extreme help of “C” and everyone who contributed titles — will be out in early August. And the price will be set at fifty percent off for you guys.
I’m excited for you to put the ideas into action and continue to create your forever-loss. ♥
Pearl One
I was listening to a podcast the other day, and the show’s host told a story about a large friend who’d explained that he was heavy because “he just loved food so much.”
That it was just that simple
The podcast host snickered and said something like “that’s pretty much what I’ve always figured is true for everyone.” (Chuckle, chuckle.)
I mean, we’re supposed to believe that the podcaster’s friend “liked to eat” so much that he hobby-ate himself into being severely obese?
Doubtful.
We might tell ourselves that we “merely love to eat” but when most of us overeat, binge-eat, eat and vomit, or stop eating altogether, generally something much deeper is triggering the food-behavior.
Survival-Eating
It’s my thought that when kids are growing up in a tough situation, they survival-eat. Life was terrifying and out of our control so we self-soothed by overeating.
I understand that you beat yourself up about your weight and your “inability to lose” but try to look at it from little-you’s perspective: she was merely trying to survive a bad scene. And keep in mind that little-you had no job, no car keys, no way of extricating herself from the horrible situation.
She was stuck.
Viktor Frankl’s quote says it perfectly, “An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.”
That said, cut yourself some slack. Empathize with kid-you. Entrenched eating problems don’t just arrive out of the blue for no reason.
Boredom-Eating
So, if we’ve established the habit of leaning on food as kids, we end up – naturally — turning to food as adults.
We end up overeating for several different emotional reasons: We’re sad: we eat. We’re celebrating: we eat. We’re bored. . . we eat?
I think boredom gets short-shrift as being a trigger for overeating.
Let’s return to little-you. If you had a childhood where your interests weren’t encouraged it’s not likely that you champion your passion-topics today.
Say you always wanted to be in the Girl Scouts like the kids in your class, but your mom didn’t make it a priority to do everything involved like pay the fees, buy the uniform, take you to the many meetings, help you get the gear for camping and so forth.
Or even, say your mom was a single parent and held two jobs while raising you and your brother. There simply wasn’t money or time for your interests to be nurtured.
If your interests were largely ignored when you were young it’s likely that you ignore your interests today as an adult.
So, journal-write and journal-write about what makes you sparkle in life. My sparkle moments come from a LOVE of animals, travel, writing, and hanging out with my kids on the rare moments they want to see me.
It’s not that having a more exciting life will make us slender, of course not. But infusing life with your personal brand of fun, makes staying on the Smart Eating Path a whole lot easier.
No-Dignity Eating
And now we come to “no-dignity eating”. Let’s go back again to kid-you. If you were allowed very little dignity and respect in your young life, – like you were screamed at for forgetting a, b, or c – you weren’t given the dignity that every child needs to flourish.
We’re not eating with dignity today when we binge-eat. Or maybe we ate dinner with the family, but then also ate the leftovers clandestinely in the kitchen.
And we’re sure not eating with dignity when we crunch through a box of Cheeze-It’s while zoning out on a show.
Journal-write about dignity, what it means to you, and how you can slowly began to bring more and more respect for your ownself into your life. ♥
Pearl Two
As I’ve mentioned, I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, or dietician. I just love sharing foods I like with you guys.
I can’t believe it’s taken me this long, but I’ve finally switched to eating only whole-wheat pasta. I’ve eaten whole-wheat bread and whole-wheat rice forever, but I never got around to dealing with the white pasta. (I just avoided it for the most part.)
Here’s how I make it: I boil the brown spaghetti. After it goes into the colander, I take about one cup’s worth and spray “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” on the noodles and then sprinkle in some Parmesan.
Yum-city. ♥
Pearl Three
Topic for July: how to keep steering yourself back onto the Smart Eating Path.
Ooo, this is such a good topic. Here’s what I do on a regular basis: every day I note whether I’m having an I-want-to-chow-every-thing-in-sight kind of day or a I-can-stick-to-the-plan-no-problem day.
If I’m sensing the former, I literally eat something every hour or hour-and-a-half.
I call this the “drip, drip, drip” eating method and it’s a heavy-lifter. This method is my go-to every time I need to get myself back on track.
The idea is to keep your hunger on simmer, so that it never gets to a rolling boil.
What do I eat? I might have a large kale salad at noon (topped with fake chicken or polenta rounds both found at Trader Joe’s), and half of an apple at 1:30. Then I’ll have the other half of the apple at 2:00. At 3:00 I’ll eat my blueberry-oatmeal bowl and so on. Then I stop eating completely by 6 p.m. and go to bed early with a great book. (Like the one in Pearl Four.)
See? I just have light bites throughout the day, but I do a total of zero “intuitive eating” and work closely with the clock.
And of course, I track what I eat.
For the latter situation: just keep on trucking, but remind yourself to never, ever get smug about how you eat, what you weigh, the size of your jeans etc.
Keeping the weight off for seventeen years now is directly related to staying humble and ready to learn. ♥
Pearl Four
Books love us and want us to be happy.
You know what’s tough about having a “book pearl”? Finding a new book every single week that I really want to recommend is harder than it sounds.
I read what I think of as a lot of junk before I find an “Aretha Franklin singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T” type of book to recommend.
In that vein, I have a GREAT one for you today: The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese.
Covenant is the kind of book I wish I could read every week. I don’t know why, but I haven’t paid much attention to Oprah’s Book Club, but that changes today.
One of my favorite authors ever has had two books on her list and that’s all I need to know.
Covenant is one of the books. I’m only a few chapters in but I can tell: an excellent, white-tie of a read. Cutting for Stone is Verghese’s other masterpiece that was on Oprah’s list back in ’08.
The book’s genre is historical-fiction which I can’t get enough of. I mean, reading really good historical fiction is like learning history at the hands of a master author.
To sit and be enveloped in a gripping story while simultaneously learning how South and North Korea came to be (Pachinko); how Winston Churchill fought the Nazi military machine on his own long before the U.S. showed up (the Splendid and the Vile); and how the largest storm to ever hit America crashed into the history books (Isaac’s Storm) is one of the greatest luxuries of modern life. We all would have had a scored an A+ in our history classes if we’d had these books to devour.
I swear, get to a certain age and you spend half your life in the doctor’s office. 🙂 ♥
Pearl One is from an earlier post. I believe so strongly in this method of bringing something great into our lives.
Pearl One
“We are bleeding money.”
Over the last four years my husband and I had been — 24/7 — diapering, feeding and caring for twin infants slash toddlers. Once my boys were semi-functional, I was raring to take family-trips to Lake Tahoe, the beach, various Children’s Museums and so forth.
In short, I wanted our family to travel.
“We can afford to drive around the corner,” my husband said. “Call me when you arrive.”
Thanks to the ’08 crash, the planet was reeling. Money problems everywhere, houses not selling, belts tightening.
Even that said, Oh, the Places I Wanted to Go.
After my husband announced, “not a chance”, I didn’t argue or suggest ways we could “rob Peter to pay Paul,” or call my best friend crying about the dumb choice I’d made in a husband.
I said to myself only, “My. Kids. Will. Travel.” I felt those words into my very marrow. I had no idea how we’d find the bucks for travel; I only knew that – contrary to all of the evidence around me – we were going places.
And we did.
Here’s how it went down.
After a handful of false starts, I asked an editor-friend who produced a local parenting magazine if she’d be interested in a travel column.
She jumped at the idea and — with that email to Barb — I’d created a small job for myself. My family and I traveled and after each trip, I’d write about our experiences for Barbara’s mag. (We had a blast and, I was getting paid — not a ton — but still.)
Was it a fluke?
Back then, I didn’t have the vocab to talk about why my travel-determination worked, but I knew something – outside of the ordinary – had taken place and I wanted to figure out what it was, so that I could replicate my results. Here’s what I learned.
Turns out, those in the coaching world – like Tony Robbins — call what I stumbled upon “massive action.” Tony Robbins didn’t invent massive action any more than Ben Franklin invented electricity, but they both noticed a reality and pointed it out to the world.
To me, massive action is feeling — into the very fiber of my being — that something I want will happen (come hell or high water).
Before I knew the term “massive action,” I called it “leaving no stone unturned.” Quick example: Long before I had kids, I had to pass a licensing exam and I used “no stone unturned” to study for the big, scary test. I did everything conceivable to pass, and I figured, if I didn’t pass then it must be due to something outside of my control.
But I passed. (And trust me, every stone was turned.)
How Massive Action Works
Massive action is happening when you throw everything you can possibly think of at a project or a problem until the door swings open. It’s when you’re at your most determined.
When you go massive action on something that matters deeply to you, it’s almost as if the Universe says, “Oh, brother. This mom in California will not stop knocking at the door. Just give her travel so we can get onto other things.”
Writing is Your Portal
To know what’s going on in your heart and head, write. Writing is free therapy and is always there for you. Free-write in the mornings. Free-write like nobody is going to read it (because they won’t). Free-write to discover what makes you tick.
Every morning, ask yourself these questions and see what your super sophisticated brain spills forth:
• What does future-me in six months most want? • What are five things that matter most to me in life? • If I had a life mission, what would it be? (Give three life mission answers.) • What is something that matters to me that the rest of our culture tends to overlook?
Consciously Using Massive Action
Once I heard the term “massive action,” I was far more successful in wielding its power. Through the last ten or so years, here’s how I’ve added to my life using massive action:
My sister and I – who, at one-time, couldn’t talk on the phone for twenty-minutes without both of flying off the handle – are currently going on four years of a loving, argument-free relationship.
I added a recumbent trike to my life that was “too pricey to afford,” but thanks to massive action, I bought a demo model that wiped $1500 off the price tag (plus it came with a bunch of upgrades and I didn’t pay shipping).
I massive actioned us into a gorgeous home in Atlanta just eight-minutes from my husband’s job (a commute practically unheard of in Atlanta).
Your challenge:
Think massive action is too woo-woo for your life and probably doesn’t work anyway? Okay, then try this challenge: choose one thing you’d like to have in your life that’s just a tad out of reach. (Let’s start slow.)
Then apply massive action to your project:
One
Begin by writing about your project. What will you feel when you’ve brought home the new item/lifestyle? (Write about ten feelings you’ll experience when you lose twenty pounds, slide that new kayak into the river, or hand over $1,000 to your favorite charity.)
Two
Free-write ten common sense actions you can take to attain your item/lifestyle.
Three
Now free-write ten insane, totally wild actions you can take to attain your goal. (As in, “I could steal a kayak, I could build my own” and so forth. As Prince said, “Let’s go crazy.”)
Four
Now, take action from your list, all the while telling yourself that stopping is not an option. Just keep on keeping on:
If it takes longer than you’d assumed, keep going.
If it’s much harder than you’d imagined, also keep going. (Your mantra: we can do hard things.)
If the December holidays, your birthday, rain, snow, a hot summer, a bad cold etc creates more of an obstacle than you’d anticipated, keep going: no excuse to stop.
The main directive: don’t stop writing, experiencing your feelings, and engaging in action until that kayak is under your butt in the river.
That said, here’s one wrinkle in the massive action story:
Let’s say, I want to walk into my garage and find a gorgeous, fire-engine red Jeep waiting for me. But – and this is key – I don’t want the Jeep to the exclusion of my sons’ (pricey) lessons like theater, piano, and Krav Maga.
Or say I love the ocean and want to live near it, but uprooting my kids from Atlanta is a deal-killer. (The boys would be horrified to leave friends, infrastructure and so forth.)
And say I need a weekly bathroom cleaner. (Don’t we all?) But at $100 a week (or more), it’s a no-go currently because of the boys’ many lessons.
You see, I only go massive action on an item or lifestyle if I know — from my free-writing — that I won’t let a single thing stop me from achieving that change in my life. Sure, I could go all massive action and put a gorgeous red Jeep in my garage, but I know that other goals that also truly matter to me would go sideways.
Massive action can only happen if nothing will stand in our way of getting what we want like – in my case — family travel, or getting along with my sister, or buying a recumbent trike.
I massive action something that matters to me – as long as the item/lifestyle doesn’t threaten other aspects of my life that are also high priorities (like my family and animals). ♥
Pearl Two
I have a new Costco food I want to share with everyone. As you know, I’m a huge believer in the REP way of eating – breakfast like a king, lunch like a princess, and eat dinner like a pauper.
The last time I was in Costco, on a whim, I added their “organic acai bowls” to my cart (found in frozen near huge bag of frozen strawberries and blueberries).
For some reason I thought the acai bowls had a dessert element to them, but they don’t. They have more of a crunch, granola, blueberry vibe.
At first, I wasn’t impressed, but after eating all six bowls I now think, “these guys are tasty.”
They’re vegan, gluten free, and with the little packet of granola-like crunchy things you put on top of these bowls, the calorie count comes to just 180. Not bad, right?
Last week I wrote about trying to stick with only five-ingredient foods, but this bowl is way more than five.
I can’t emphasize enough that to stay on the Smart Eating Path, keeping your food fun and interesting is major-league important. Make at least one meal in your day something you really love. ♥
Pearl Three
June’s topic for the month: what cannot be an afterthought in our smart eating lives. Every week we’ll talk circumstances that require hard-core planning rather than “winging it.”
June 2 topic: We’re heading into vacation-season, do you have a plan about how and what you’ll eat on your trip?
June 9 topic: Do you have a plan for how you’ll handle the negative-food that “shows up” in your kitchen?
June 16 topic: Do you have a written plan for the moments when you’re furious or super sad? If your former “fix” to these emotions was food, have you given conscious thought to how you’ll manage the overflow of feelings without food around?
I should tell you that when I was losing the final of fifty-five pounds, I was furiously determined (is that a term?) about getting down to my preferred weight. At the time I was losing, I was still attending WW sessions every week. Just as I’d lost the last five pounds, we moved to VA and WW meetings came to an end.
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I understood that my coping mechanism was food and that I had to figure out better ways of dealing with bad feelings.
My go-tos. Reading, rock music, shower or bath, doing things like coloring my hair or doing my nails, listening to an inspirational podcast; my list helped me get through rough times and overwhelming emotional moments. Definitely getting away from the TV and the kitchen were part of the success too.
My mind-shifts. It was a huge shift for me to write to myself from future-me. I wrote from that evening-me, tomorrow-me, autumn-me, five years from now-me and so forth. In my journal I told current-me how much I appreciated that she did a, b, c for me (like lock-in a fantastic habit, or do things over the summer that I loved).
I also was into the idea of micro-rewards. I’d talk to myself and say, “This evening is a tough one. If we stick to our eating plan and go to bed early, have a hot shower, and read a great book: we’ll get a pedicure tomorrow.” But here’s the thing: you must follow-through. Don’t tell yourself, “Do well tonight and I’m buying those pricey earrings you liked!” (And then the next day bail on the idea because the earring are just plain too expensive. You never want her to feel tricked.)
Reasonable rewards for the next day are like a two-hour block of reading time, getting the car cleaned, or even purchasing an inexpensive pool float.
Planning your hard times before they happen is like 80-percent of the job handled. ♥
Pearl Four
The Girl with the Louding Voice by Abi Daré is a coming-of-age novel by a powerhouse of a writer. Her daughters encouraged their mom to write her first book and omg is it good. Daré has an MA in creative writing from Birkbeck, University of London along with other degrees. She’s a brain.
Her book reminds me a lot of the internist Khaled Hosseini who wrote the acclaimed novels: The Kite Runner (2003) and its follow-up A Thousand Splendid Suns (2007).
The Girl with the Louding Voice is about a poor girl growing up in Nigeria. How she learns and grows in a wealthy household is a testament to resilience and strength.
Daré’s book won The Bath Novel Award for unpublished manuscripts in 2018 and was selected as a finalist in 2018 for The Literary Consultancy Pen Factor competition. Absolutely five-stars. ♥
Pearl Five
It is facile (something done easily without an understanding of the difficulty involved) to imply that smoking, alcoholism, overeating, or other ingrained patterns can be upended without real effort. Genuine change requires work and self-understanding of the cravings driving behaviors.”
— Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business ♥
I love this quote so much because it flies directly in the face of our world’s diet-culture who love to yammer on about how losing and preserving weight “is easy.”
Total baloney sauce.
But, I will tell you, that while it’s not easy, it is learnable. It’s doable. It sounds trite to say, “if I can, you can.” I only wish you had known me from childhood to my mid-30s. You would have met someone who always had food on the brain and never fit into most (all?) of her clothes.
I’m headed to the pool this weekend (it’s something autumn-me asked for). I love the pool, I just don’t like the work involved like putting on a bathing suit, walking to the pool, putting on sunscreen, hoping I’ll find an umbrella and blah, blah, blah.
Have a sun-block weekend, everyone!
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.
I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥
If you’re tempted this weekend, just remind yourself you can have your treat in the morning with coffee. Still want 4th of July dessert? Think: pretty popsicles, macaroni at Trader Joe’s or Costco, and watermelon. And always keep your cold-tote full and by your side.
Hi Thrivers,
I’m spending the entire weekend taking my clutter to the local dog and cat thrift store for drop-off. It feels so good to get rid of stuff that I didn’t even know I had anymore. ♥
Pearl One
I get it. The many how-to-have-the-best-body types have their own ideas about what is smart eating and what’s not. It’s crazy-confusing when one “expert” encourages saving a dessert for the morning while the another is clearly in the all-sugar-is-bad camp.
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the “dueling experts” idea after a Thriver sent an email saying that her favorite fitness guy espouses the no-sugar way of living. This man did an amazing job of taking his body from pudgy to ripped so I’m guessing that his readers are those who lift weights and want to eat well to optimize their workouts.
All good.
Here’s the thing: This man is totally right. Zero sugar is the gold-standard for optimal health.
But he and I have two different approaches to losing and preserving a loss because we have two different end-games.
He’s teaching others how to live their best weight lifting-life that leaves no room for sugar.
Whereas I’m addressing the psychological reasons for overeating and binge-eating in women over fifty, a topic he probably doesn’t want to touch.
When you and I transfer our nighttime sugar raids to eating one dessert in the morning with our coffee, we’re slowly weaning ourselves off of sugar. (That said, if even a bite of chocolate triggers you into a week of overeating, clearly having a brownie at breakfast won’t work for you, for now.)
I’d like to get us to zero nighttime eating. Eating one dessert at night generally turns into more: a bowl of ice cream becomes two, one cupcake turns into three. And, let’s face it, a lot of us pile the ice cream and cupcakes together for the best dessert ever.
You see my point.
By scheduling the treat in the morning were doing the following:
1) We’re extinguishing the evening habit of having two, three or more desserts at night. We’re putting sugar into a time of day when few of us go overboard on a treat and eat too much.
2) We’re helping ourselves “not feel cheated” because “everyone” is having desserts after dinner.
3) Our bodies don’t grip onto calories the way they do at night. I know this is a controversial idea, but those in the field of science are starting to take note, and it sure works in my life..
Basically, I’m coming more from a let’s use mind-sets and strategies to keep our weight down after age fifty. And he’s coming from an “optimizing our food, for a better lifting body” viewpoint.
Here’s the upshot: the longer I told myself I could have my dessert in the morning, I’d find that I didn’t want sugar in the morning. I mean, sometimes yes, but for the most part I reach for cereal instead. ♥
Pearl Two
Trust me, if I allowed certain treats into my home, they wouldn’t be safe. My brain would say, “it’s only oatmeal. In cookie-form. Okay, with sugar. But – really — what’s the big deal? It’s just oatmeal?”
I’m about to rant. I’m afraid I’ll sound smug and pompous, but I’m not. I just think I look at food-porn differently than the average bear.
In the same week, I read two different people talk nonchalantly about food-porn: a blogger said, “I had a Sonic Blast and I refuse to feel guilty about it.” (A Sonic Blast is a milkshake with your choice of M&Ms, Snickers, Peanut Butter Cups or Butterfingers.)
Food-porn on steroids.
The man, a guy with an extreme obesity issue who writes about very much wanting to lose weight, said something similar and described how he wandered around a store while nursing a milkshake.
But the milkshakes aren’t my point. We all have our version of the milkshake and I’m certainly no different than you.
My point is the attitude both the blogger and writer shared. The blogger wrote that she “refused to feel guilty” and the guy’s essay was written in a very blase voice, he treated his junk-food like “it’s just one milk shake” type of thing.
Do I want them to beat themselves up? Of course not.
That’s a quick ride to nowheres-ville.
The part that bothers me is that they don’t yet get that our brains only need one milkshake to establish a habit. You might be thinking, “Well, they each had only one milkshake. Thing is, our cavewoman brain is a like three-year-old. Do something super fun one time and — as she sees it — a habit has been instilled.
No discussion. It’s done.
We don’t have to have six milk shakes to embed an awful habit that will be tough to correct.
It just takes one time.
So, when I’m eyeing the fancy cookies that The Scarfer keeps in his stash I ask myself this heavy-lifter of a question:
Is this thing I’m about to do or eat, add to my strong habits or take me down the overeating road?
This question reminds me that I don’t need to have three, four or five milkshakes to form a habit. ♥
I only need one. ♥
Pearl Three
June’s topic for the month: what cannot be an afterthought in our smart eating lives. Every week we’ll talk circumstances that require hard-core planning rather than “winging it.”
I love the term “sweet spot.” It’s a fun way to talk about something particularly wonderful like, “my sweet spot for reading a great book is at night, in my cozy bed.”
But what if we flip the script and talk about a “bitter spot” as in, “my bitter spot for choosing porn-food is definitely right after dinner.”
So much power and magic appear when we’ve taken planning seriously. In your journal, write about your bitter spots and how you’ll address them.
Take it one day at a time. And rewrite a new plan every single morning.
Writing a plan for your bitter spot March 1 and never looking at it again until June 1 is no way to deal with a bitter spot. Every single morning write a brand new plan detailing how you’ll bookend your bitter spot with smart activities. ♥
Pearl Four
The readers in the book clubs I follow on Facebook rave about Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus. Some even say it’s their most favorite book of the year. And these people read a lot.
But be forewarned: the cover of this book gives the assumption that it’s a rom-com or chick lit. It’s neither. It’s a thoughtful story filled with dry humor somewhat like The 100 Year OId Man Who Jumped Out of the Window and Disappeared.
Many call this book A+. I’m more in the A- camp. A great read, but my two favorites so far this year:
A Woman of No Importance the Untold Story of the American Spy Who Helped Win World War II by Sonia Purnell. This woman was such a success at her “work” that she was considered the most feared spy by the Nazis.
The Beauty of Dusk by Frank Bruni. An absorbing memoir about his life and a tough medical situation. ♥
Pearl Five
“Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.” ― Angela Duckworth ♥
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
♥, Wendy
You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.
Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!
I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥
How to find the treasure in your next binge or overeat.
Pearl One
When this smart eating hack occurred to me, it practically knocked my flip-flops off.
Let’s say you overate a little bit or maybe you overate a lot of bit.
Right here, at this feeling-gross-moment, is where the treasure lies.
I understand that you not feeling so great, but challenge yourself to write a letter or a journal-entry to your future self.
The idea is to see what went downhill and lead to a binge. Write about and think your letter often. Of course, this method isn’t 100 percent, but it will go miles in addressing overeating or bingeing. Make it a habit: overeat? Journal-write about it.
Write at least a paragraph to these questions (this is not the time to be word-stingy).
How do you feel – in your body — right now? (Ex: Stomach ache, want to throw up etc.)
How do you feel emotionally at this moment? (Ex: I’m so mad at myself. I was doing so well around food and I messed everything up for what?! Margaritas and chips? Wendy’s note: try to keep in mind that you’re normal.)
If you’re mad at you, what do you tell yourself at this moment? (Ex: I’m so dumb, what’s wrong with me, why am I so weird around food? etc.)
If your internal voice is harsh and critical, where do you think you first heard this type of criticism? (Knowing is important not for blaming purposes, but so that we can address the criticism at its roots.)
At that, stack the times in your adult life when you’ve been responsible. Stack at least five. Then do something you couldn’t do as a kid: talk back to the voice who called you names.
Write at least three paragraphs on what you’d say to the voice who called you an airhead, again, all in your journal only (“I was twelve!” “I was still learning in life!” Who calls a child an airhead anyhow?!”).
What you most want for future-you (give at least three ideas).
What do you want future-you to know: (Ex: that it feels awful to overeat because. . .)
Do you know specifically what triggers you into eating too much?
How can you address the triggers so they lose their power?
How do you wish you’d responded instead of overeating?
How can you make it more attractive (from Atomic Habits) to stay the Smart Eating Path? (Ex: I can always keep my favorite healthy food on-hand, not get overly hungry, not talk to that combative family member on the phone when I’m too close to the binge food etc. etc.).
Can you write suggestions re: what you wished you’d done instead of overeat?
The essential idea is to teach future-you about how terrible it feels to give in. And then give strong ideas that would better than overeating.]And last, revisit your letter as often as needed. Keep it front-and-center in your daily. ♥
Pearl Two
I can turn any food into a “bingeable.” Acknowledging to myself that I’d always use food to comfort, celebrate or numb-out is just how I’m built.
As you know, it’s cake over wine every time.
Acknowledging that I’ll always default head-first into food is an annoying thought, but I also know more about myself and can therefore handle the overeating tendency that much better. ♥
Pearl Three
June’s topic for the month: what cannot be an afterthought in our smart eating lives.
Today’s topic: we’re heading into summer vacations and planning how and what you’ll eat on the trip needs to be given serious planning.
I’ve been a travel writer for sixteen years now, and I never gained weight on trips. Having a solid plan in place and not winging it moment by moment gets all the credit. Whether I was traveling by car or plane, I knew exactly how the food-situation would go down.
Bottom line: Know before you go
Pearl Four
Our book-dessert slot! You are owed an apology. And the Mountains Echoedby one of my favorite authors, Khaled Hosseini, should have been one of the first book-desserts I shared. The book’s genre falls under both “historical fiction” and “domestic fiction.”
Total honesty: if I’d read a description about this title’s plot I’d have thought, “pass.” But I’d already read Hosseini’s other two masterpieces — The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns – so I was all in. When I came up with the idea of book-dessert it was because of books like And the Mountains Echoed
So, that’s my review: 100 percent. (And again, my apologies.) ♥
Pearl Five
“Living is the art of getting used to what you don’t expect.” Eleanor C. Wood ♥
If you haven’t yet read Aunt Bea, just shoot me an email: Wendy@WendyIrvineWriter.com! 🙂
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.
I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥
We customize our lips:I wear a pink lip. You’ve always looked awesome in red.
Hello Thrivers!
I emailed a friend, “I’m pet sitting alone this weekend (two darling snickerdoodles).
She wrote back, “ALONE?!! Heaven, pure heaven.”
She gets it. (Most of us do.) ♥
Pearl One
I love my eating plan, but it’s different from the one you prefer.
I count old – I mean, really old — WW points, you count calories.
I journal-write on my laptop. Others swear that handwriting is far superior.
My triggers are cake or ice cream. Yours is chips and crackers.
I’m a library-fanatic. You love to buy books, underline your favorite passages, and keep your friends on the nearest shelf.
I light up when my smart-list reminds me that I have (homemade) whole-wheat banana muffins in the fridge. You’d rather have a cup of yogurt (especially sprinkled with a bit of Grape-Nuts for crunch).
Podcasts energize me. Podcasts put you to sleep.
I’m an early bird. You get the most done at night.
One size does not fit all. Make smart choices as you tweak your smart eating plan to make it better for your lifestyle. ♥
Pearl Two
I found the day-in and day-out, the decade-in and decade-out of being heavy to be seriously no fun. When I’d go to any event – like a day at the beach or a night of fireworks – I was focused the entire time on my jeans cutting me in half, and planning (silently in my mind) how I’d start a new diet on Monday; the second I got home, I peeled those jeans off and climbed into comfy jam-jams.
There was another part of being heavy that I detested; I showed up at every event or activity actually hungry or on the precipice of hunger.
I didn’t know about Eating Before You Eat. I thought that sticking to my eating plan meant being really hungry.
I hadn’t learned to pack my cold-tote and take it with me everywhere; I didn’t yet have the habit of always keeping a Cliff bar in my purse.
It didn’t occur to me that arriving somewhere hungry would wake up my cave woman who’d take immediate control and begin her search for the highest calories around.
I didn’t see the connect between hunger and a natural drive not to look for an apple, but to head for whatever “full-bodied” dessert I could get my hands on.
Nobody told me that – when away from home — a banana can fix everything. ♥
Pearl Three
Pearl Three’s topic of the month: revisitingAtomic Habits by James Clear
James writes in chapter two’s summary,
“There are three levels of change: outcome, changes, process change, and identity change. (Our goal is identity change. ‘I’m not a donut-eater. Even one leads to four.’)
The most effective way to change your habits is to focus not on what you want to achiever, but on who you wish to become. (‘I’m not someone who eats random food, I much prefer the smart food in my cold-tote.”)
Your identity emerges out of your habits. Every action is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. (I know that every time I dive into my cold-tote, I’m reinforcing the behavior.’)
Becoming the best version of yourself requires you to continuously edit your beliefs, and to upgrade and expand your identity. (‘I don’t even look twice at fast-food when I’m running errands, my cold-tote is becoming my best pal.’)
The real reason habits matter is not because they can get you better results (although they can do that), but because they can change your beliefs about yourself.” (‘Holy cow! I AM a person who uses her cold-tote for my highest good!’) ♥
Pearl Four
I love memoirs. I could joke and claim to be nosy, but reading memoirs really drives it home that I’m not alone in life with struggles, diagnoses, embarrassing moments, difficult family members and so on. And I love reading about how the hero or heroine triumphs in the end.
I came close to not sharing this book because it’s an extreme version of someone’s life.
It’s about a psycho stage mom in Southern California who made Gypsy Rose Lee’s mother look like Mrs. Brady. The mother turns our heroine into a Nickelodeon kid-star thereby ruining her daughter’s childhood. Jeanette spent her formative years making bucks and working like an adult on iCarly and Sam and Cat. (If you hadn’t heard of the shows, neither had I.)
The title – I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeannette McCurdy – sounds awful (or like parody), but when you read her story the title will make sense.
My review: a super absorbing read and once I was three or four chapters in, I put everything aside to finish this book. (Other favorite memoirs: Kevin Hart’s, Linda Ronstadt’s, Gabrielle Union’s, and Can’t Hurt Me, just for starters.) ♥
Pearl Five
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way as you select you clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control” — Elizabeth Gilbert ♥
If you haven’t yet read Aunt Bea, just shoot me an email: Wendy@WendyIrvineWriter.com! 🙂
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.
I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥
Okay, I’m down to the wire. If anyone tells you that writing a book is a breeze, they’re off their rocker.
So Easter is Sunday and my boys’ birthday is Monday. My minimalist-hairy man wants nothing, my the-more-the-better kid wants the birthday hoedowns that I produced when they were kids. Sheesh. ♥
Pearl One
It’s 1923, your family lives in New Mexico, and there’s no money for anything but food. Your mother has tasked you with cleaning the dirt-floor.
You use the broom, but couldn’t get it as clean as you wanted, so you pick up floor-clutter by hand.
Now it’s 2023 and you’ve tasked yourself with cleaning the floor. If you’re one of the fortunate, you remind yourself that the cleaning crew arrives tomorrow.
Not that fortunate to have a house cleaner? Well, maybe you’re lucky enough to own a Roomba so you switch it on and let the darling go to work.
But, fresh out of cleaning crews or Roombas, you do have a wondrous cutting-edge vacuum cleaner. You turn that baby on and roar through each room leaving clean floors in your wake.
The right tools matter.
Attempting to lose weight – and protect your loss – after age 50 requires the right tools. You’re not part of a poor family living in a dirt house.You have the money to buy a cold-tote, amazing book-desserts, smart food that you love, beautiful measuring cups and spoons, gorgeous tableware (found for a song at a thrift store), new muffin pans if you need them and so on and so forth.
This is not the time to be stingy with yourself. Get the tools you need for this rigorous trek we’re making up the Matterhorn. ♥
Pearl Two
It’s my belief that we live in the loneliest time in history. Not so long ago, we lived in groups. Human beings weren’t built to be loners living in cabins deep in the woods.
Today’s version of “a cabin deep in the woods”, is not leaving the house, Netflixing for hours, and making constant trips to the kitchen. I mean, we have friends. On Facebook. We stay engaged with life. On Instagram. We get amazing advice from others. Podcasts.
They’re calling it the Loneliness Pandemic and it was alive and well in our world long before Covid. Here’s my take: it wasn’t so long ago that we lived in tight knit groups like villages, and before villages, we lived within a band of cave people working together to stay safe and find food.
For all of the downsides of caveman-life, the upside was belonging.
The phenomenon of “it takes a village” came so clearly to me when my parents were first moving into their assisted living home.
As they were moving my dad in text said to me, “We come from a generation that try our best not to rely or depend on our kids or interfere with their lives as we grow older.”
I responded, “yeah, but think about it. All ages once lived together: grandparents, moms, dad, kids, babies. And everyone worked together. Maybe not your generation but the gazillions that came before your group.”
At the time my sister and aunt were working hard to help my parents and I was trying to point out that family helps family without saying, “Stop being so proud and take the help!”
But – per usual – I agree with me. Our culture is lonely. That elderly man on Monday who wanted to chat about cantaloupe at the grocery store? He lives alone and hadn’t spoken with anyone all weekend.
The 50-something year old woman who shows up at the dog park every day like clockwork? The outing with her dog is the one time she sits down and has long chats with anyone IRL.
And from long ago, I remember Lucille Ball talking about being on a plane and looking down at the zillion of tiny homes below thinking, “Any one of those houses would welcome me in with a red carpet, and yet – I’m paraphrasing – “I don’t have one person who really knows me to go home to.”
So, you know how I recently wrote about the Perfect Storm of Weight Gain being the result of a food-porn culture, the powerful diet-cartel, along with our own wobbly self-esteem? Well, we can add a fourth storm to the mix: the age of loneliness in which we currently find ourselves.
This is my point: we buy the coolest looking car, purchase a gorgeous home that sits on a hill, pack our wardrobes in the prettiest of clothes and we still know exactly what Lucille Ball was talking about.
I’m not suggesting that if you take your therapy dog into the children’s home every week your eating and weight problems will dissolve. You’ll never hear this sort of thing from me.
That said, if we’re feeling crushed under the tonnage of loneliness the brownie fudge ice cream in the freezer will continue to call our name every evening.
Consciously write in your journal about how you’ll begin — in detail — to make it a habit to increase how deeply and often you engage with others. ♥
Pearl Three
In April we’ll take a deep dive into Atomic Habits by Mr. James Clear. Today we’re looking at – one of my favorites because duh — The Law of Least Effort.
James Clear writes, “Energy is precious, and the brain is wired to conserve it whenever possible. It is human nature to follow the Law of Least Effort, which states that when deciding between two similar options, people will naturally gravitate toward the option that requires the least amount of work.* Out of all the possible actions we could take, the one that is realized is the one that delivers the most value for the least effort. We are motivated to do what is easy.
*James says in the asterisk, “This is a foundational principle in physics, where it is known as the Principle of Least Action. It states that the path followed between any two points will always be the path requiring the least energy. This simple principle underpins the laws of the universe.”
My point: if you bring home the Ho-Hos and place them in an easy-to-reach cupboard, the principle of Least Action tells us that no doubt what you’ll do next.
However, when the Ho-Hos first hop into your grocery cart, just throw them like a major league pitcher back onto the shelf, and then the Ho-Hos won’t make it into your home.
Because you have no intention of driving to the store to hunt down the Ho-Hos, you end up having the cut strawberries — already in the fridge — with a whipped cream hat for dessert,
You see, the Law of Least Effort loves us and wants us to be happy. ♥
Pearl Four
They say that this woman was a badass, but the word barely touches who Virginia Hill was to the world.
Her story, A Woman of No Importance the Untold Story of the American Spy Who Helped Win World War II by Sonia Purnell left me absolutely floored.
This book falls into the historical non-fiction genre and the author knocks it out of the park having researched and written the book in such a way that you can almost feel the Gestapo just steps behind Virginia as she flees France.
Due to this book I will never again say, “but I caaaaaan’t, my foot hurts” or “I’m too tired to do such-and-such.” Yes, we need to honor the challenges in our own lives, but the woman didn’t even receive certain medals once the war was won. Her opinion was, to paraphrase, “none of us did any of it for medals.”
This book will make you proud to be a woman and bonus: you’ll look at your own problems in a new light. ♥
Pearl Five
“We must remember. There is no easy way.” – Ryan Holiday ♥
Have a wonderful weekend, All!
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.
Lisa and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Phone Call
Pearl One
Did you know that Lisa Kudrow was rejected by Saturday Night Live in 1990? Four years before bringing Phoebe Buffay to life in 1994?
True.
And Lisa’s had plenty of company like John Mulaney, Tim Roberts, John Cusack, Rachel Bloom, Cameron Diaz, Geena Davis, Kevin Hart, Mindy Kaling, Ellie Kemper, Jim Carrey and so many more.
I’m just guessing, but Lisa likely auditioned for SNL, praying, hoping, and crossing every finger that she’d landed the job.
Then she got the call.
First, she was probably numb. Then she likely cried for the first day or two. Maybe took in a movie to get her mind off the rejection, and in the evenings possibly had one or two glasses of wine with her ice cream.
“I remember being super disappointed,” Lisa told Vanity Fair, “because I thought, ‘maybe you’re one of those people for whom good things don’t happen.'”
Four years later, she made it happen.
I’m not surprised these days to see a story arc like Lisa Kudrow’s and everyone else in the “SNL Reject Club” who auditioned feeling like they’re this close to being a huge star with the money and the fame and the access to great roles.
Only to have it all ripped away by one little phone call.
My Point
Champions like Lisa Kudrow and the other SNL’s rejects, likely feel awful for days or even weeks after they get the call, but then they dig in their heels and get back to their grueling climb which is why the long list of rejected celebrities doesn’t surprise me. People who’ve “made it” in any field are go-getters who over-deliver time and again. They’ve learned how to talk to themselves to maintain their focus. Sure, they allow themselves time to mourn, but they don’t see a setback as being indicative of anything.
The important takeaway: allow yourself to be moved by Kudrow’s example.
Let her trek inspire your trek.
In your journal ask yourself this:
If Lisa was “super disappointed” after the SNL phone call, how do you guess she managed to audition for Friends (four years later)?
How do you rally when you’ve felt “crushed”?
Why don’t you just give up on smart eating? What propels you forward?
What prominent person in our culture inspires you? And why?
When a strong question is asked in front of a pad of paper and a pen (that works), the gems appear. ♥
Pearl Two
Back when we were little, overeating really did keep us tethered to life, giving us comfort, or even delivering welcomed numbness that brings its own relief.
Fast forward decades into the future and the substance that was so calming back then is today, dangerous. Think I’m overstating it?
We’ve both read the articles that say being overweight leads to so many problems and diseases. In my life, I’m certain that being overweight lead to my gallstone surgery and, at another time, falling on my own foot and breaking it.
So, consider reframing overeating from it’s a comfort to instead being overweight doesn’t serve me in my life and only brings disappointment and diagnosis that I can live (literally) without.
This is the moment when I always go back to my “why.”
I don’t mean to overstate it, but the “why” in our lives is everything.
I mean, I have tolerated a variety of situations because my sons were my “why” (hello? Paging Chuck E. Cheese, the worst pizza known to mom-kind).
I maintained a strong “why” when we pulled our two out of Kindergarten after four months. A loved one didn’t speak to me for a year.
I relied on an ironclad “why” as I homeschooled the boys through two moves and into college. (No judgement if you didn’t homeschool your kids, I happen to think homeschooling is like a calling rather than “everyone should do this” kind of thing.)
Two Takeaways
There was a time when food was a comfort. Today, food is hurting us. So, the journaling question is: how do we go into the very core of our being and discover what matters the most to us. ♥
Pearl Three
Our last “stacking” for November. I heard a guy on Instagram say, “Our brains are like a supercomputer. Our self-talk is the program. Our brains are always listening when we talk to ourselves.”
Pull out your journal and write to these prompts. When I wrote, I was quite surprised at some of the answers.
I really love that I . . .
I can always count on myself to. . .
It’s taken time, but I’ve learned to be great at . . .
Learning to manage . . .
I like that I learned how to . . .
I’m tickled that I developed a habit of . . .
Next write one word to each answer. For example, these were my six words.
I’m saying this stack to myself daily and it’s been especially supportive during tough moments when it seems like the blanket of negativity is descending. ♥
Pearl Four
Pretty pumpkin loaf by thriver, “M”!!
Our food slot. A sweet reader – “M” wrote to ask me whether the whole wheat pumpkin muffins that I love would work as a pumpkin loaf.
I thought, sure, why not? I’m a fan of the muffins because they come in their own serving-size.
But whether you’re team-muffin or team-loaf, I’m repeating the recipe here. I eat these as mini-meals throughout the cold months. And the pretty photo is from “M” too. Yum, right?
Also, this recipe is a go-to for eating before you eat.
Set the timer for 375 degrees.
Mix together dry items:
1 cup flour
¾ cup whole wheat flour
3 tablespoons sugar (only 3 tablespoons!!)
2 teaspoons baking powder
¼ teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt (an eighth!!)
Mix Wet:
First, melt 2 tablespoons butter (just 2!).
1 whole egg (add two eggs for more protein).
¾ skim milk (but almond milk works just as well).
Now the fun part:
If you want pumpkin pie muffins: add ¾ can of pumpkin puree to the wet mix and one teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice to the dry mix.)
Want apple pie muffins? Add a peeled and diced Granny Smith apple and a mashed ripe banana to the wet mix along with one teaspoon of cinnamon to the dry mix.
Love banana bread? Mash three to four super ripe bananas and along with a teaspoon of vanilla add to the wet.
Bake muffins for 18 to 20 minutes.
“M” baked her loaf at 350 degrees for one hour. Once baked, she sprinkled powdered sugar on top! ♥
Pearl Five
Never, never, never give up.” — Winston Churchill
Two days into the long weekend. Today is the day to give the leftovers to the wild animals or the happy neighbors. 🙂
Have a great long weekend and see you on Tuesday!
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
You know the scoop: I am an Amazon affiliate so if you buy something through a link at this site, I may receive a small commission that won’t impact your price at all.
I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
First we create good-enough success, then comes the confidence. We circle back around, create good enough again and more confident ensues.Compounding confidence, it’s slow, steady, and totally worth it.
Hello everyone!
I haven’t had the greatest week. I dealt with a doctor whom I really love who was surly with me yesterday (I think we had a miscommunication that I need to address); I have a bunch of niggly things to do that are time-consuming; and I still haven’t gotten my Christmas cards out. (For future readers, it’s February 10.)
On with a happier topic: when I first began writing the Friday Pearls, I’d assumed that each pearl would be one- or two-liners max, but because I received such affirming feedback from you (and thank you!!) the pearls grew and grew into the phonebook that they are today.
So, thank you again.
These pearls exist because of you. ♥
Pearl One
(Your Version)
Today we’re talking about what I wish I’d known when I started losing in earnest back in ’97.
Choose Your Favorite
In Aunt Bea I write about the importance of marrying your favorite eating plan that you can live with forever. I like to think of my eating plan like this: I love my backyard and its fence (that keeps the coyotes out); but you should know that my neighbor has a sparkling, gorgeous, well-maintained pool.
Even though the pool looks inviting, I know that I can’t hop my fence, help myself to my neighbor’s collection of pool floats, and kick back for a beautiful (SPF) day in the sun.
An eating plan is like a fence, it constrains our choices and sets us up for a long-term success. Do I have a preferred eating plan that I’m pushing? Nope, not even a little. Some of us need to be gluten-free, some plant-based and others Keto. What plan you choose is between you and your doctor. Once you’ve chosen your eating plan, expect to keep it forever. One of the most negative things to come out of the diet culture is that a new weight loss plan is being pushed every two years. This is not in our best interest, it only benefits the companies. Find an eating plan you like, and use it as you’d use a fence around your backyard.
(If you haven’t received Aunt Bea just shoot me an email at Wendy@theinspiredeater.com and I’ll send her right to you.)
Jot it Down
Keep a pretty notebook with a pen next to your fridge, and record what and when you eat every single day. Recording food becomes second nature once you’ve established the habit. (And if you detest this idea, read on.)
Twenty-six years later, I’m still at it. Why? Because it keeps me honest and engaged with my daily intake. The whole goal is to stop being unconscious when we eat and become engaged on a conscious level with our food. Plus if you don’t write it down, it’s super easy to eat more than you realize.
If the idea of writing out your food intake sounds like a terrible idea, journal-write about your feelings towards tracking. Something is going on underneath not wanting to track. And by the way, women who don’t want to track are a thing. You’re not alone. Many struggle with the idea of tracking. Journal-write and explore what’s happening beneath the surface of tracking.
We can do this. I may sound cheesy and oddly cheerleady, but we can do this. Just follow my bread crumbs and we’ll get out of the woods forever.
It’s Not Only What, It’s When
It took diligent work and the power of time to develop the habit of not eating after 6 p.m. I’ve found that if I stop eating around 6:00 p.m., I wake up loving the scale.
You guys, if you think I’m full of hops (as my gram would say) check out these two links by heavy hitters in the science/health world:
I never eat hungry because I always “eat before I eat.” Always. Eating before eating usually means that an hour before a meal with others or any large, tempting meal, I’ll have something like one of the following: a small container of yogurt, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat (easy on the PB&J), an apple or grapes.
Super Smart Eaters
Years ago I learned – thank you Tony Robbins – that rather than asking, “Why Me?” to instead ask strong questions that actually serve you like, “How can I eat today for maximum health?” or “How can I take my spinning workout from forty- to sixty-minutes?“
But then I happened on this 180-degree difference of a question – by writer Dickie Bush — that wowed me:
What would I do to make today horrible? (LOVE this question!!)
Writing is a human being’s superpower. I keep my journal in my computer (One Note or Evernote) where I write and write and write to find answers to my problems. (Feel free to name your journal. Remember how Anne Frank called hers kitty? An adorable idea.)
Journal-writing brings my unconscious to life and the unconscious comes up with coolest solutions and/or mind-shifts. It’s like seeding your garden. Keep at it and beautiful blooms will appear. Just ask your brain strong questions and write out the beautifully scented answers.
The Beauty of Compounding
Say you eat a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s every single evening for a week.
One bowl for a week? No big deal.
But say you eat a bowl of Chunky Monkey every night for a year?
Ohhhh, my bad! You wanted to fit into your bathing suit come summer? Sorry, but compounding is working against you when you OD on Chunky Monkey for 365-evenings.
Now let’s say that you’ve moved your measuring cups to an easy to reach cupboard (at least two sets of course) and use them at each meal. Let’s also say that you’re eating healthy bites throughout the day like baby carrots, you Eat before You Eat, and you celebrate your tiny-wins – every day. . . for a year? (Heck, even four months.)
Now you’re using the cool party trick of compounding for your highest good.
So, be-be gone Chunky Monkey! Hello sandy beach in June!
The Insidiousness of Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage may turn out to be a human reaction that’s triggered when our unconscious – our cave woman — is merely working hard to protect us.
Her basic motto is: don’t reach for the gold. It’s way too scary. Just stay in your cave where it’s cozy and protected, and there’s loads of food in the fridge! Do any of these scenarios sound right?
Self-sabotage might be a learned behavior from childhood that we’ve carried into our adult lives.
Or maybe having been disappointed time and again, you’re sick of trying. (You’re done.) But that’s okay: feel “done.” Let your feelings surface and journal-write about them and how sabotage unfolds in your life.
The more you journal-wrote about how self-sabotage unfolds in your life, the more skilled you’ll become at catching the self-sabotaging behavior before it sneaks in and tries to wreck your plans. Don’t let it.
Learning to say, “I see you, self-sabotage, and I know that when you show up, something is likely frightening me” is a great place to start in your journal. ♥
Pearl Two
But what I really, really, really wish I’d known
Here’s yet another “fact” of life that the diet culture has long pushed. They like to tell us that when we do enough of a, b, or c, losing weight will become effortless. The weight will practically melt off. You’ll never have a serious craving ever again!
You guys, if someone tells you this – ever – they’re lying to you. Okay, maybe that’s too harsh, maybe they don’t know that they’re lying because they’ve never had much weight to lose in the first place, so they don’t understand how difficult this trek is for women over 50.
I’m not being cruel, I think we’re stronger and better equipped knowing the challenge that’s before us. I think anything less and the culture is infantalizing us when it says that “losing will be easy.”
Bring the right tools to the lifestyle and losing after 50 becomes a touch – just a touch – easier. ♥
Pearl Three
During the month of February, I’m leaving this slot for talking smart mind-shifts like how important it is to call this endeavor of losing after 50 a part-time job or a hobby.
Today’s mind-shift: we’re first generation trekkers. I’ve often used the image of trekking up the Matterhorn as being as challenging as losing after 50.
I call us the first generation of trekkers because we’re the first to have a handle on how to navigate our food-porn culture. I’m not saying we’re perfect, but I am saying we know so much more than our moms or grandmas knew, and we’re the first to put this intel into action.
Be proud of the role you’re playing in history and take notes as you lose and maintain so when someone asks “how did you pull this off?” you’ll have the details ready to roll. ♥
Pearl Four
If you’ve grappled with the medical system — and who over 50 hasn’t? — this memoir is like a gift from the heavens.
The Beauty of Dusk by Frank Bruni starts a tad slow. I found myself skim-reading and began to think that maybe the book should have been distilled down to the size of an article.
Thankfully!! I did not put the book down (after coming super close). In his early 50s, Bruni had it all: a phenomenal job (New York Times columnist and bestselling book author), friends, family, a partner: he was living his best life. But one morning he woke up with a blurriness in one eye that turned out couldn’t be fixed. Even worse, there’s a twenty percent chance his other eye could go down the same path, rendering him blind.
Bruni shares deeply personal stories about his life, his health and how he manages his world with a (mostly) invisible disability. Bruni layers into his memoir all that was involved with taking care of his once highly competent father who has Alzheimer’s, going through a break-up when he’d just learned his diagnosis, and incredible stories about how different people deal with disease or a disabling condition. Review: worth your time to read or listen on audio. Loved it. ♥
Pearl Five
The greatest lesson I have learned in life is that I still have a lot to learn.” — Maya Angelou ♥
One fun thing about this week: we have snow in our forecast at 100 percent. If it snows in Atlanta, it’s usually a light dusting (what I call “pretty snow”). So wish us luck. Usually when the powers-that-be forecast snow, it doesn’t actually snow. But even the tiny snowflake on the weather report is fun to see.
One last thing: I got my Pringles (I mean, my shingle’s) shot this week. Years ago, my mom’s friend got shingles in her early 60s and it was not pretty. I vowed that I’d get the shot (there’s two at different intervals.) Consider this a gentle nudge.
Have a habit-fueled weekend everyone!
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.
I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥
