Let’s crack-open the therapists’ bible: The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) and comes with a number: reflecting updated new material.

Pearl One

A friend who’d survived childhood trauma cant shake it. Princess Diana likely had it especially during her bulimic years. And at my heaviest, I definitely had it.

Called the dumps, the blues, or not feeling one hundred percent on any on given day.

The therapy world calls this “dysthymia,” it’s the diagnosis given to someone who lives life with persistent long-term blah” depression.

Unlike major depression, those with dysthymia will:

• open the curtains every morning.
• shower and soapup right after coffee.
• texts Jane that she’d love to meet at the pool tomorrow afternoon.

These high-functioning people look great on the outside. She wears smart outfits, goes out to lunch with friends; and vacations somewhere tropical when she can.

And yet she feels blue most of the time. And unless she confides in you, it’s unlikely you’d guess at how she’s feeling. She tends to numb the mild depressive with wine or food or — my favorite — both.

My point: losing for the long-run means addressing trauma at its roots. When we try to fix our eating issues by only examining what we put in our mouths, we’re missing the opportunity to make significant change in our lives; to invite meaningful growth into our world.But here’s the thing, we might have had dysthymia as kids, or teens or young adults (or all three). But today, let’s say that we no longer feel “stressed” Today we’re very much looking forward to our upcoming Hawaii trip, to seeing our grandson graduate Kindergarten, and planting bulbs for a spring backyard.

Life is pretty good.

So then why do we continue to overeat and feel blue? I like to see it this way: maybe we developed the eating habit in our childhoods. Back then, food was our portal to love. But today overeating has become a problem

Pearl Two

Thankfully I figured out that stomping the smug thought was vital, and instead thinking, I’m always learning. I’m always discovering. I slip and that’s okay. I’ll just meet the new day and go for it again. Over and over and over That sway what I did guys.

I know that a lot of Thrivers are having amazing success. And don’t get me wrong, I love hearing about the awesome strides everyone’s making, but consider nestling this phrase into your heart forever. A

♥ I’m not smug about losing.

♥ I’m not smug about losing.

♥ I’m not smug about losing.

If you’re having what anyone would deem “victory!!,” don’t be lured down the smug-pathway. It might seem like allowing ourselves to feel a tiny bit smug is the pinnacle of “success”, but it’s really the precursor to a downward spiral back into overeating-land. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to thoughtfully responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Autonomic Sequence

• Situation (be very specific: state something we can all agree on): I eat three cups of ice cream every night.
• Thought: What is wrong with you!
• Feeling: Extremely irritated.
• Action: Even though I try each night, I have zero possibility of getting to my personal weight if I consistently eat I cream before be.
• Result: Clothes still don’t fit.

Chosen Sequence

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

I’ve had this book on my TBR list for eons, and I only finally opened it two Fridays ago. Somehow, I missed the memo that said this is the greatest book of our generation. My sister loved it so much that now she buys every book the author writes. The Pillars of the Earth: by Ken Follett came out in 2007 when I was still raising the cutest set. So, if like me you’ve bypassed the Pillars of the Earth too, lets do this!

Pearl Five

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

A food-pusher in the wild.

Pearl One

I was recently watching a short reel on Instagram when a financial expert said, “When you have an ‘I’ve had it moment,’ you’re about ready to change your life. Changing your life is not an intellectual dance, or some kind of theoretical idea. You get sick and tired of being sick and tired. ‘I’ve had it.’ That’s when you change.”

This guy was talking about money, but the parallels to weight loss after age fifty were clear. You and I have to be absolutely done carrying more pounds than we’d like. There’s nothing wrong with preferring to change your relationship with food while the larger culture continues to overeat and eat inappropriately (donuts for lunch kind of thing).

I know that getting pushed to the brink of losing/preserving after fifty is infuriating. I get it, but feeling “fed up” is actually a powerful force inside of you. Let yourself be mad, but not at yourself. Take a food-look around our world. Our culture is drenched in food-porn (fast-food, XL portioned plates of restaurant-food, and grocery stores packed to the rafters in ultra-processed foods). We’re tempted at every turn: birthdays, holidays, it’s brunch on Sunday, out with friends for dinner on Wednesday, and the pressure to overeat (or eat inappropriately like eating ice cream for dinner) and the (b)eat goes on.

No, we can’t change our culture in the short-run, but we can take into account that we’re doing something difficult here. Losing weight in our current food-porn culture and then preserving for a lifetime-loss is no little thing. My point is to proceed keeping in mind all that you’re jugging on a day-to-day food basis.

For example, nobody says to a smoker who’s really trying to quit, “Oh, live a little! We’ll each have just one. It’ll be fun!” But those of us working hard on developing our smart eating habits hear this all the time.

When the Going Gets Tough

When I’m having difficult moments — like dealing with a food-pusher – I’ve learned to instantly bring up three pictures in my mind that inspire me to make good choices:

• That spring long ago when I put on jeans – to go to a yard sale — that were so tight I could barely breath. When I got home, I headed straight to my bedroom to peel the jeans off. Oh, what a relief to unsnap that snap.
• That photo of myself at my cousin’s wedding in the late 1990s.
• Those times when my scale is headed east and thinking, “Oh, hell no!” about never – ever — gaining the weight back (thank you Tim Ferris for this powerful sentence). In my mind, I worked too damn hard to lose fifty-five pounds in the first place and I’m not giving up my momentum now.

Great to write about in your journal: what images can I rely on to keep me in the game of weight loss after age fifty? Who are the food pushers in my life? What would the plan be to deal with each food-pusher? Do I “eat before I eat” when a food-pusher might tempt me?

Other Peeps

I also say to food-pushers, “I’m not eating a lot because my stomach is bothering me.” See? It’s not a lie: your stomach is likely bothering you on some level.

I’ve also heard other people say, “I had so much food at lunch that I need just a few bites for dinner.”

When I know I’m with a food-pusher, I pile my plate with a lot of healthy food (and, of course, I always “eat before I eat”).

When a friend says, “You’ve got to try the dessert I made for the party, it’s like crack on a spoon” and it’s just plain rude to refuse a taste, go ahead, take a bite and then move on to people who aren’t insisting you eat food-porn. (This is an advanced skill. If one bite will trigger you into an eating marathon then go with “your stomach’s bothering you” response.)

Learning how to manage food-pushers is nothing more than learning a new skill as we lose and preserve over age fifty. We can so do this! ♥

Pearl Two

On a daily basis, take a moment to look at what you’re doing: losing/preserving weight after age 50. Appreciate the work you’re putting in. Sure, shoring up such-and-such habit would be smart, but for a moment just admire what is. You’ve done a great job. If nobody else is saying it to you, I’m saying it: you’re doing a great job. Now, give yourself this kind of appreciation every single day. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

This sequence is about childhood friends of mine.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (be very specific: state something we can all agree on): My mom died in a car accident.
• Thought: How will I live without her? This can’t be happening.
• Feeling: Shock. Blinding grief.
• Action: My sister and I mull around when we’re together. Sometimes we eat out.
• Result: we sadly clean up the last of her clothes and jewelry.

Then with many, many bridge sequences you arrive at the following.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (be very specific: state something we can all agree on): My mom died in a car accident.
• Chosen Thought: There’s a huge void in my heart, but I read an article saying we can have parallel lives: our grieving life and our daily activities-life.
• Feeling: Sad but frustrated, the “parallel lives” idea provides a little hope.
• Action: I let myself cry and punch a pillow when I need to. I also allow for fun and happy moments.
• Result: I heard Prince William say, “it can make or break you” and just those words alone have helped me so much. ♥

Pearl Book Desserts

Books love us and want us to be happy

Reminding me of The Kite Runner, a Thousand Splendid Suns and And the Mountains Echoed, I love sinking into books about other cultures and learning the points of view from the people who were actually there.

Born in New York City, but raised in Libya, Hisham Matar penned his beautiful memoir titled, The Return: Fathers, Sons and the Land in Between.

And it’s not only me, The Return has impressed many like:

• the New York Times Book Review’s ten best books list in 2017.
• One of the New York Times 100 Best Books of the 21st Century.
• Winner of the 2017 Pulitzer Prize,

The Return: Fathers, Sons and the Land in Between by Hisham Matar. A book-dessert of the highest caliber.

Pearl Five

Pool weather is on it way I think I need to shore up on my sunscreen.

Have a wonderful week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

They can’t fool us: they put in mondo time becoming successful all while making it look easy.

Pearl One

Muggles – such as you and I — don’t just happen to find ourselves working at Vogue as the main assistant to Anna Wintour. In the movies maybe, but that’s not how real life works.

Real life takes nothing less than blood, sweat and tears; an ability to slay the boredom-dragon on a hour by hour basis; and a deep understanding of how planning for each minute, week and month gets us where we want to go. Whomever is working with Wintour in real life have paid their dues over and over and over.

Let’s look at someone who knew from the get-go that swimming for the Olympics would take major sacrifice.

Do you remember Summer Sanders? She got up at four o’clock every morning — for years – to be in the pool by six o’clock training for the biggest prize in sports: Olympic gold.

Now if you were watching the 1992 Barcelona Olympics, you’d have seen a young woman slicing through the water making it look, well, kind of easy.

We couldn’t have seen the years of getting up at the crack of dawn for her first practice of the day, the second practice being after school. Six days a week of four o’clock wake ups. And most of the workouts themselves were meant to challenge her. Every single day except Sunday.

When you see a successful person – like a famous actress, a NICU nurse, or a super successful veterinary practice owner remember that anything they make look easy, took at least a million hours of diligent practice.

They came to understand that the harder they trained, the easier it looked to other people,

Yes, what I’m doing is really hard. Give yourself the gift of honesty: of course losing weight after age 50 is hard. And in those moments, living on the Smart Eating Path, just got a tad easier. ♥

Pearl Two

A story from my past.

In life, it’s what you make it mean. True story. I was in a meeting in a large conference room with a group of cops and city managers. Mid-meeting, an officer showed up with a K-9 officer, a black German shepherd named Bennie.

We took a small break, and I used my time to go bananas over the furry sweetheart and throwing a Kong toy for him again and again. A wonderful boy.

Another woman was in the meeting. When Bennie arrived she was acting uncomfortable. At the break, a flurry ensued. She was obviously terrified and repeated “no, no, no” (as officers were trying to reassure her that Bennie was friendly) and bolted out of the room never to be seen again.

Same large conference room. Same meeting. Same dog. Two totally different reactions. In slowing down the film here’s what happened:

Door opens and in walks an officer and Officer Bennie.

• This woman sees the dog and thinks, monster! From her thought, she feels scared.
• I see Bennie and think, furry baby! From this thought, I feel delighted.
• Her action: she leaves the room.
• My action: love-bomb the puppy!

This woman wasn’t being “silly.” I have a good friend who grew up in the same culture as this woman. In their world small dogs are fine, but big dogs are vicious and dangerous.

My point: a circumstance unfolds, we have a thought and from the thought we have a feeling. And it’s within our power to choose the thought that will will impact our feeling.

The sequence goes: “situation” then ” our thought” then our “feeling.” Give this concept a lot of your time, because every situation in life boils down to this sequence. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

• Automatic Situation (be very concrete): My alarm goes off every morning at nine.
• Automatic Thought: I’ve been dealing with this problem of wanting to get up earlier like at six o‘clock for years now.
• Feeling: Irritated.
• Action: I try to go to bed earlier.
• Result:  End up going to bed at night at the same time as I always have. Nothing changes.

Thoughtful Sequence

• Situation (be very concrete): My alarm goes off every morning at nine each morning.
• Chosen thought: If I want real change to occur, I need to forge a new plan for myself.
• Feeling becomes: Excited because I really do want to wake up earlier.
• Action: I write up an evening plan (includes room for insomnia).
• Result:  My plan sees me making change slowly and tells me to go to bed (with a book-dessert) at 7 o’clock pm each night. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

• Yesteryear Book-Dessert: The Accidental Tourist (1985)
• Pulitzer Prize Winning Book-Dessert: Breathing Lessons (1988)
• Anne Tyler’s Current Book-Desert: Three Days in June (2025)

Anne Tyler is in her early eighties and has given our world twenty-five novels. The Accidental Tourist, Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant and Breathing Lessons were all finalists for the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, but Breathing Lessons took home the gold in 1989. Anne’s work is known for her incredible detail to the characters in her books and her love of putting three generations together and allow them to get bristly with each other. And somehow it always works out. Her books zig and zag. Have fun! ♥

Pearl Five

Hope you have a phenomenal week. Me, I’ll be calling . . . a dozen doctors for a zillion appointments like my GP for follow-up blood-work, my optometrist for my an eye exam, the mammogram place, the OB office and the dermo. I’ll schedule the appointments throughout May and June. Good times.

Let’s agree to agree to having the best week of 2025 this week!!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Pearl One

I had a dear friend from many years back who told me — in whispers — that she’d had the “sleeve stomach surgery” but had “eaten around” her sleeve whisking herself back to square one (i.e. Reddit tells us, “you can stretch your pouch and regain most or all of your weight loss”).

Her last words on the subject, “but I was hungry!” with a crinkle to her brow. Oh, how many times I’ve made the exact same excuse with the exact same wrinkle to my brow.

Hunger. Eighteen years into preserving my original loss, I’m sold on the idea that a new way of engaging with the concept of “hunger” is key to a forever weight loss.

Over time, I realized that most of us use “hunger” like it’s a “get out of jail free” card. We tell ourselves that the eating plan we’re currently on – in this case, my friend who ate around the sleeve – only “works” if we don’t have to deal with hunger.

And yet this skill is the one I’m most proud of. Learning to chit-chat with your stomach is an actual skill that you can develop over time.

Most of us have learned since we were tiny that overeating junk food was a legit way to self-soothe. So don’t be hard on yourself. I was five years into preserving my loss before I even noticed that I was dealing with hunger in a new, much better way.

Today I can be moderately hungry, but see that the clock says that lunch is in thirty minutes and know that me and my stomach can wait thirty minutes to eat. But one time, I was at lunch with my parents a year or so after the COVID lock-down, and because the staff took time in taking our order, I almost ate two of the little honeys that are at every coffee shop booth, straight. I’m not being dramatic: that time I was truly, seriously very hungry.

It took time, but I started to notice what was happening inside of re: hunger. Was I ravenous (like at the coffee shop)? Was I moderately hungry and could wait thirty or so more minutes? Was I just a touch hungry and could easily wait an hour? Or even, did I not feel hungry and didn’t need to eat at all?

It’s an advanced skill to have a great relationship with hunger. And it’s always bugged me when “they” throw the many weight loss/preservation tips into one magazine article or website post as if the skills are all alike in difficulty. Some skills – like learning to engage with hunger in different ways – take years to establish. So what to do now? Start by noticing your hunger throughout the day. That’s it. Just consider how you feel before eating and notice what your response is to the “I’m hungry” thought. More on hunger in a coming post. ♥

Pearl Two

Eat Before You Eat. One day, I came across a supermodel’s vlog. She explained to her audience how she eats before “a big shoot.” Since, to date, nobody’s invited me on one, I was mainly checking out her very cool Manhattan apartment.

But then the supermodel said something that stopped me cold, “I like to eat before I eat,” and with that one sentence time stood still.

The supermodel didn’t give more details, but I took her comment to mean that “eating before I eat”, is no longer about needing to use sheer willpower to restrain myself from overeating food. “Eating before I eat” means that I have the ultimate say over how much I consume at dinner.

I use the “eat before I eat” strategy at all evening meals whether I’m out with friends, on a trip, or home with the family. I always eat in advance, so when I sit down at the table, I’m never ravenous. I do this on lunch dates too and if I’m driving to an event, I snack on something healthy the entire way in the car.

The food I reach for when I’m trying to purposely “ruin my meal” (as my dad would put it) is a half-cup of cottage cheese with grapes, a handful of cherries, a full sliced apple or banana, a small bowl of cereal, one slice of whole wheat bread topped in hummus or peanut butter. That kind of thing. Small, not big. Just eat enough to curb your hunger and you’ll actually enjoy your meal because you’re not racing to shovel food into your stomach. And last, if I’m driving to an event, I snack on something healthy the entire way we’re in the car.

After years of “eating before I eat”, family members seeing me eat still ask, “Why are you eating?! We’re having dinner in twenty minutes!” I want to say, “Hello? I’ve been using this tool for a billion years now, haven’t you noticed?” But to avoid causing a ripple, I shrug and say, “I have to eat something, or I overdo it at dinner.” Then if they’re still making a face at me, I just return to eating my yogurt cup.

Using “eat before you eat” tool is a massive game-changer because it puts us in the control-seat. No longer is the gorgeous plate of lasagna and crunchy garlic bread in charge. Sorry beautiful food! Your spell over me is — poof! — gone! “Eat before you eat” and your brilliant prefrontal brain is back at the helm. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to thoughtfully responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (be very concrete): My profits from my manicure/pedicure business are going down in number vs. going up.
• Automatic Thought: Have my main clients forgotten about me?
• Feeling: Hurt and angry because you have two young daughters at home.
• Action: As each client comes in for my services, I point blank ask them why they’re not coming in as often.
• Result:  Not a lot changes and I’m still mad.

Thoughtful Sequence

• Situation (be very concrete): My profits from my manicure/pedicure business are going down in number versus going up.
• Chosen thought: All of my clients are human beings with normal problems like illness, adjustment to a divorce and who knows what they’re dealing with?
• Feeling becomes: empathetic and understanding.
• Action: I begin to get serious about promoting my business. I start by putting a note on my manicure-desk, letting current clients know that I’ll treat their friends with white-glove service.
• Result:  It takes time, but eventually the numbers go back to where they once were. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

I’m just a few chapters into James by Percival L. Everett figuring 4.5 stars from 65,101 Amazon readers likely likely aren’t wrong. And turns out they weren’t.

James is the man we all know from Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Fin.

This time Jim gets to speak. Supposed to be a great book; If you’ve already read it, let us know what you thought in the comments! ♥

Pearl Five

It’s been a crazy week and it’s only Wednesday. Good times.

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Strawberries are in-season! Yes, they’re pricey, but the Smart Eating Path is all about eating in-season.

Pearl One

“I never have coffee before we head out because it makes me poop.”

So said my younger Arizona sister Lucy who made an offhand comment about planning and prepping to hike the Grand Canyon’s (GC) “rim-to-rim.” The term is just what it sounds like: from the top of one side of the canyon hikers descend to the canyon’s floor, trek the floor’s ten-miles, cross the raging Colorado River on a suspension bridge (freaked my sister out) and hike up the other canyon-side.

So, when Lucy casually added, “Ben and I start planning and prepping for the rim-to-rim a good six months in advance.” (Ben grew up in Phoenix and has crossed the GC over two dozen times. Regular hikers need a full year’s prep.)

At her words, my ears perked. The parallels between planning and prepping for a monstrous hike and planning for a lifetime-weight loss with a scarfer onboard seemed pretty obvious to me.

Here’s what I learned: My sister and her husband plan as if their lives depend on it because they do: people die in the canyon every year (eleven people out of millions of visitors) and 250 are airlifted out by helicopter.

Am I suggesting that nailing a permanent weight loss is akin to hiking the Grand Canyon rim-to-rim? Yes. In fact, I thing being a female over-thriving with a scarfer is much more ominous.. For many decades the diet-cartel has murmured sweet nothings into our ear assuring us that this time will be different and we will lose weight; that we just needed to use their product and we will be “successful.”

Keep in mind that neither side has decreed what “successful” actually means. When eating well gets particularly difficult, default into micro planning your days. ♥

Pearl Two

I never get hungry. The idea behind my forever-loss is that I never get starving-hungry. Could there be a more important strategy? I don’t think so. It’s to get in touch with your hunger. Getting overly-hungry is the sure-fire way to careen off the Smart Eating Path. (More on hunger in a future post.)

And I’m not only talking about those times when we’re so hungry we could eat everything in sight, I’m talking about the kind of hunger that presents itself after a meal as in, “gee, a handful of peanut M&Ms sure sounds good right now.”

Would you believe that last night the cavewoman part of my brain suggested this very handful of candy to me? It wasn’t ten or twenty years ago. It was last night.

Just as I started to vacuum up the calories, I realized what was happening — I was merely still hungry — so I had a small bowl of cereal. My M&M craving? Gone.

When I catch myself daydreaming about eating the chocolate peanut butter cups, or stopping at Wendy’s for a frosty, I remind myself that food-daydreams are nothing more than a signal of hunger. Remind yourself often, “I don’t need junk food, I just need food-food.” ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

This sequence is about Kyle Bryant and I wrote these words not Kyle.

• Situation (be very concrete and specific) I was diagnosed at 17 with Friedreich’s ataxia, a rare and progressive neurogenic disease. It causes balance problems and most with FA transition to a wheelchair.
• Thought: My life is over.
• Feeling: Total despair.
• Action: I’m enraged.
• Result: Family is walking on eggshells.

With many, many, many bridges between the first and last sequence.

Responsive Sequence

• Situation (be very concrete and specific) I was diagnosed at age age 17 with Friedreich’s ataxia, a rare and progressive neurogenic disease.
• Chosen thought: I saw an outdoor recumbent trike and thought I could ride that.
• Feeling:  Hopeful and determined.
• Action: I bought my own trike in red so that it would match my truck. I began to join others in making several small group rides around Northern California.
• Result: After many rides to get into shape, I was one of a four-man team to cross the U.S. from San Diego (West Coast) to Annapolis, Maryland (East Coast). We made the 3,000 mile ride in 8 days, 8 hours and 13 minutes.

To read more about Kyle Bryant you’ll find his story here: ♥♥♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

Three of my most favorite books of all time:

Pachinko by Min Jin Lee. Her first book snagged the Pulitzer’s Fiction Runner Up in 2018 and is proof that aliens live among us.

The One Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson – Funny and phenomenal.

House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus. Too hard to describe, but so good. I love learning about other cultures.

All three are awesome. ♥

Pearl Five

I might know a little too much about the royal family.

Have a great week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Silly donkey, pink bows are for (furry) kids

Pearl One

He’s cute and pathetic, and has the sweetest pink bow on his tail. We might want to mother him — you know — transform his sad-sack self.

The Eeyore-people. They are everywhere. At first they seem so benign and innocent, what harm could they possibly cause?

And while it might appear that an Eeyore just needs a hug and a mug of hot chocolate, you should know that Eryores are committed to their task of ruining other people’s excitement-projects.

That said the Eeyores comes in so many shades of gloom that it’s not always apparent when we’re dealing with one.

Your basic, no-frills Eeyore will forever default to lamenting, “nothing good ever happens. It’s just one thing after another. Must be raining out. Woe is me.”

Other Eeyores are passive-aggressive. This type concludes every barb with, “Come on! I was just joking!” or “I only say (the barb) to be helpful. I’m worried about you. I don’t want you getting your hopes up, only to see them dashed. Again.”

And finally we come to the aggressive-aggressive Eeyore who – upon hearing our new venture — responds with laughter while belittling, ignoring, or sneering at our plans.

While somewhere deep inside we know there’s no convincing an Eeyore, we try anyway when we say, “Really, this time feels different. I’m changing my habits and how I deal with food.” And at that – like clockwork – the Eeyore shakes his head, chuckles a bit and says, “What will make you cheat this year? I don’t get why you waste your energy.”

Do you see why I call an Eeyore “dangerous”? The instant you start doubting yourself, the Eyesores dash in and work to topple your long- and short-term plans all-together.

After he leaves the room, you clean the kitchen and head to bed thinking, “why can’t he — the Eeyore — be more supportive?”

Take a good, long look – quietly — at the person you’re attempting to engage. And journal-write about what you see before you. 

Whether you’re dealing with an Eeyore-friend, family member, co-worker, or partner, they’re dangerous because they decimate our plans with a look or a unsupported comment.

Never dismiss an Eeyore’s attitude as nothing, or think, he just doesn’t understand. As I lose weight and change my habits, he’ll come along. No, they do not “come along.”

Thing is, Eeyores don’t change. For whatever reason — that’s between them and their therapist — they don’t want us to grow and evolve. They have a certain way of seeing us, and they want the image kept in place.

So, protect your plans. Be a closed book, and get on with transforming your life. Share in the comments below a little about your Eeyore and how you manage the difficulty. We all need ideas. ♥

Pearl Two

I didn’t think up this great tool, but I’m sure glad that Tim Ferris – podcaster extraordinaire – put words to the feelings of “HELL YEAH!!”

Let me explain.

When we take something away from ourselves – like overeating for comfort – we have to give something in return or we feel a yawning void, an emptiness inside, and head straight for the Doritos. (When people give up alcohol or drugs, the rehab staff strongly encourages participants to find new passions in life as part of the healing process.)

We’ve all tried various activities and – while some were okay — none sparked much passion in us.

But Tim’s “HELL YEAH!!” energy changes the equation. Try to only have “hell yes!” energy from that which you most care about.

As an example, one woman I know loves comedy. She’ll take her comediennes on Netflix of course, but she’s wild about seeing her favorite stand-ups live. Years ago, she saw Seinfeld just months before his show went on the air and last week she saw Kid Gorgeous — John Mulaney — who also came her town. Try to get as much “hell, yeah!” into your life as possible. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to thoughtfully responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (very concrete). My baby is 19 months old and is not walking. Twin brother was walking ten months. What’s happening? Now what?
• Automatic Thought: The “slow to walk” thing might be indicative of a disease.
• Feeling: Panicked.
• Action: Frantically called my pediatrician for an appointment.
• Result:  I wind myself up, fearing the worst.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (very concrete). My baby is 19 months old and is not walking. Twin brother was walking ten months. What’s happening? Now what?
• Chosen Thought: I need to stay chillI need to all of the information before I get upset.
• Feeling: Scared, but calm.
• Action:  I make an appointed with our pediatrician. Do online research to see what’s out there to help my guy walk (turns out that they have small wheeled walking frame to make walking easier).
• Result: All went well. The neurologist-pediatrician said that his MRI showed nothing wrong. My boy walked soon after the doctor visits. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy.

I read stories like Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed with incomprehension. Her mom died when Strayed was a senior in high school. Her mother’s death and her own marriage fading, at twenty-two Cheryl thinks that hiking the Pacific West Trail (PW) was just the thing. And so Wild is a beautiful account of her life and her trek of 1,100 miles alone.

After Wild, Strayed wrote Tiny Beautiful Things curated from her column called Dear Sugar. I made the mistake of not reading Tiny, Beautiful Things because I assumed that it was like Dear Abby of old. Not at all. Think: fictional character named Claire writes an advice blog called Dear Sugar.

Her newest book is out: Reading the Waves: a Memoir..

Pearl Five

“Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Half effort does not produce half results. It produces no results. Work, continuous work and hard work, is the only way to accomplish results that last.”— Hamilton Holt, American author ♥

I hope you guys are hanging in there! Let me know in the comments below how you’re doing.

And if you enjoyed this post: I’d love it if you’d send it on!!

Have a smart eating week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Pearl One

As therapists-in-training my peers and I were taught that if a client started “yes, butting” us it was a clear sign that we’d careened the client and ourself into the weeds.

An example:

Therapist: “So, you’re saying that he’s part of what you call your weight problem because he brings home donuts. Have you asked him to stop?”

Client: “Yes, but while he’s great for a week or two, he eventually reverts back to what he’s always done. Like last week, he brought home donuts leftover from a meeting, and of course I caved.

Do you see the “yes but?”

The thing is, I think we “yes, but” our own self like in these examples:

• I’ve always wanted to join the new Pilates place. But the cost, the time in traffic, the grocery store.
• I’ve always wanted to host foster kids for the weekend. Once a month, I could see that. But my life is just too crazy right now
• I’d love to shop for a new dress for the summer wedding, but, but, but.

Stronger questions would look like this:

• How do you take care of your interests and needs on a daily basis?
• When you think of getting your needs met, what comes up for you?
• Would you say that you have your own back? What does “having your own back” even look like for you?
• How were you cared for in your younger years? In your young adult years? Middle adult years?

Look for the patters in your life. The stronger we become, the more ourselves

Pearl Two

How does seeing patterns help weight loss over fifty? Here’s the thing, once you identify a pattern, you can then move to disrupt it.

A pattern from my own life, My dad worked in Hawaii every other year and would take us with him. We stayed in a cool hotel that had a kitchen. We’d be there for five weeks. So when we got back home while I loved seeing our pup, I pined to be back in Hawaii.

Today, things have changed. These days I long to get back to Richmond, Virginia. We had four awesome years in VA, but my husband got a job offer and we’ve been in a super-fantastic-but-not-Richmond suburb for ten years. I’m figuring out how to love where I live. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to thoughtfully responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (be super-duper concrete): my husband recently had a stroke and has short term memory loss.
• Immediate thought: this will really ruin our lives.
• Feeling: Fear, sadness and why us?
• Action: Ice cream.
• Result: Gaining not losing weight, that’s for sure.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (be super-duper concrete): my husband recently had a stroke and has short term memory loss.
• Chosen thought: this is new — my parents never had memory loss – I think a book on the topic would be good for me.
• Feeling: Hesitant leaning toward confident.
• Action: I got a book and started reading and found Facebook pages and more websites. I learned a lot. We both have.
• Result: After all this research we’ve learned so much and have a better time in our have a better time being marriage. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

Whether your relationship with your mom was awesome or awful you’ll love reading Lucky Me: My Life With–and Without–My Mom, Shirley Maclaine by Sachi Parker.  The lengths Maclaine went to ditch her daughter’s childhood defies understanding. Those of us who love our children beyond words, can’t fathom being so uninvolved with a child. Five thumbs up. ♥

Pearl Five

My boys’ birthday is getting closer. One of my sons is super frugal. Everything about him is minimize, minimize, minimize. The other son likes the finer things in life. So I don’t know what to give either one! Any ideas greatly appreciated.

I hope your week soars!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Pearl One

A couple months back, I fell down the rabbit hole that is Instagram and was algorithm-fed reels featuring newborns and what their first thirty minutes of life looks like. Some babies will need NICU, others won’t. And as I watched I realized that the twin, triplet and quad moms were propping bottles to feed their babies.

And everything I’d read said that propping a baby with a bottle was a hard no.

But on these reels the triplet and quad moms were actually showing off how they propped each baby with a bottle. The mom stayed in the room with the babies monitoring the entire time and provided a floor-show for the four smiling, but drinking, adorables. I noticed that each baby waited patiently for their bottle because they had pacifiers.

The other thing I noticed watching the reels: if a baby stayed in the hospital for one or two nights, most came out sucking away on a Binky.

Pacifiers! I’d tried to introduce pacifiers a few times with my babies but didn’t think much about it when they kept spitting them out.

We ended up spending a fortune on mother’s helpers and it’s startling to see that all I likely needed was a small piece of plastic.

The next time I have twins, they’re getting pacifiers and will occasionally be propped. There’s far less crying when the little plug is in place.

So what do babies and pacifiers have to do with you and me?

Here’s what I took from my experience, in every situation in which I find myself, I’ll remember to always be on the hunt for the pacifier.

Look through your life and, as you do, ask yourself how can I make this task easier? Am I sweating something that really just needs a pacifier?

Take a look at the “pacifiers” I used to lose wight and preserve the loss for a lifetime.

• I called weight loss/preservation tasks a part-time job, instantly opening swaths of time to focus on all that’s involved with preserving a weight loss.
• Always used ‘eat before I eat.’ Usually, I’ll have an apple, banana or yogurt.
• I always eat a small dinner and take a great book upstairs (my favorite small dinner is brown rice and stir-fry veggies from Costco).

The first two strategies are about keeping hunger at bay (a huge, huge deal). The small dinner/great book strategy is about giving ourselves something (a phenomenal book) when we take something away (dessert). So, that’s my new plan in life: find the pacifiers. They’re there, just keep looking. ♥

Pearl Two

How are you implicit in your food/weight situation? I have a cousin who has spent many years going and then not going to AA. She’d tried their “A meeting a day for the first ninety days.”

Three times.

I finally asked her. “How does the alcohol get into your home in the first place: she readily said, “The alcoholic brings it into the house, that’s how.” My thought was, why bring alcohol into your home? The problem starts back at the grocery store which is true, but of course, it really starts with her thinking that she can remain sober with her favorite alcohol in the house.

Back to us. It’s easier to see in others and much harder to see in ourselves, but when are we bringing home “the alcohol” and trying to live with it in our house? How do we do this to ourselves?

So, here’s our plan: from now forward let’s give the whole idea of being implicit in our problems over to the journal. Write about how you bring home the alcohol. Write about how you fake yourself out. Write about what being totally honest with yourself would be like. Just keep writing, The wisdom is in the writing. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

This sequence is based on a friend’s experience.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation: My neurologist doesn’t return my calls.
• Automatic Thought: What is happening?
• Feeling: Angry. Sometimes furious.
• Action: I keep sending messages.
• Result: I’m not trying the new med that I heard about.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation: My neurologist doesn’t return my calls.
• Chosen Thought: For whatever reason, Dr. such-and-such is gone (in a sense) and here’s what I’ll do now: I have to be my own heath care advocate.
• Feeling: Emboldened, still miffed that this medical process has been so hard, but I feel relief at giving up on this one doctor.
• Action: I get referrals and start reading a lot of websites to find “my” neuro. Result: I find a new neuro.
• Result: I find one that I like who shares my thoughts on my disease and prescribed the med I wanted to try.

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

This is the kind of book I always hope to find for our group. It’s a book of essays by a writer who grew up “poor” and she’s writes about the class line between the working poor and the middle class The essays blend beautifully into the next. Bone of the Bone: Essays on America by a Daughter of the Working Class by Sarah Smarsh is a perfect read for smart, sensitive people like ourselves.

Pearl Five

— Queen Elizabeth II

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.