The car pertains to my fun day this week, but I chose the pup photo simply because he’s so adorable.

Pearl One

Hello thrivers!!

Welcome to the last Friday of February! We’re getting closer to my favorite holiday: daylight savings time when it stays light later!

Let’s go!

We’ve all said something like, “I can’t think about my fur-child who died; I’ll start crying again.” Or, “if I just think about my supervisor’s bad attitude, I get angry.” (Note: we think something and then have a feeling.)

I’ve written about sequences before and how they play out in our day to day. (Just shout if you want these two posts: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.)

The following sequences are based on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). I’m doing a sequence today from my own life. The main idea is to become more conscious of our thoughts, and learn to respond rather than react to the difficulty in our daily. Take a look:

My Old Sequence

• Situation (something concrete): I had a small car accident yesterday. I ran into a sign, happily the sign wasn’t hurt, but my car is at the body shop for about a week.
• My thought: “A week without a car?! That’s just crazy-talk!! How am I supposed to do that?!”
• My feeling: enraged at myself and life in general.
• My action: I called the body shop and requested a rental car and was told that they aren’t in the rental car business. I pouted. A lot.
• Result: I was extremely “worked up.” I lost my entire day because of my irate reaction to a life incident.

My New Sequence

Now, let’s do a happier, more productive sequence.

• Situation (something concrete): I had a small car accident yesterday. I ran into a sign, happily the sign wasn’t hurt, but my car is at the body shop for about a week.
• My thought (that I consciously choose): “Thank the heavens that I didn’t hurt anybody. Hmm, five work days with no car? I know how to make this week fun.”
• My feelings: Sad I had an accident, but amused at my reaction to not having a car.
• Action: Friends drove me home and I took a hot shower and then crashed for awhile with a great book.
• Result: After reading for about an hour, I return to my desk, and only do fun, easy tasks; nothing that requires focus or decision making.

See how the “old” sequence results in nothing good happening? While in the “new” sequence I slowed down my mind and chose my thoughts rather than allowing them “to just happen to me.”

Writing out a daily sequence for yourself is truly life-changing. Two years ago, my fur-child passed and I did a sequence that helped me so much I remember it to this day. The sequence didn’t make me happy that he passed but the new sequence eased some of the pain. Sequences work, go for it and you’ll see. ♥

Pearl Two

If you’re thinking, “I can’t go from ‘old’ to ‘new’ that fast. No way!”

Valid point, most of us want another step in the sequence; a bridge from the “old” to the “new.”

Here’s how an example of a bridge-sequence:

• Situation (something concrete): I had a small car accident yesterday. I ran into a sign, happily the sign wasn’t hurt, but my car is at the body shop for about a week.
• Bridge-thought: “An entire week without a car? Well, maybe. . .”
• Feelings: curiosity, a smidge of hope.
• Action: I return home ready to try a different response: I scroll Instagram (remember this is the bridge).
• Result: An hour of scrolling and I feel more like myself; ready to get on with a soft-landing day.

In your journal, write an “old” and then a “new” sequence; if you want a bridge-sequence, go for it.

Just Remember This

The “situation” has to be something tangible like “I ate the rest of the cake” or “I have two apples in the kitchen.” It can’t be, “she was yelling at me” – it has to be something we can all agree on like, “yes, the dog had puppies.”

Develop a daily sequence habit, and one-day you’ll be able to do them rapidly in your mind. ♥

Pearl Three

I’m keeping pearl three for something fun that I want to share

“Well, that can’t be a good thing” is what I hear time and again when I recommend Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum.

But bring your tissues because Love on the Spectrum produces tears of joy, and is absolutely a very good thing. The three-time Emmy winning show focuses on four or five dating story-lines with people on the spectrum. Everything is handled respectfully; and the parents of the main daters are very much involved in the show. The moms talk to the interviewer on camera about having raised a child on the spectrum. Often brothers and sisters are included in the show too (along with many pups!).

As I watch the show, I’ve had the sense that the creator has experience with autism; either he or someone he loves is on the spectrum.

Give the show a whirl. Start with Love on the Spectrum U.S. season one. And then move onto U.S. season two. And report back! ♥

Pearl Four

I don’t get it. How does a boring title: Life After Life paired with a ho-hum book cover end up as one heck of a read?

But enough of the bad news. The good news is that this story drew me within the first two or three pages (love, love, love when that happens).

I’m not alone in loving this book: Time called Life After Life “brilliant”, People “excellent”, and the Wall Street Journal “wonderful.”

This is the no-comedy, sophisticated version of Ground Hog Day, but set in England spanning the years of the two World Wars. The only thing Bill Murray’s movie is similar to Life After Life is that the main characters “keep trying” and if I say anything more: it’ll be a spoiler.

In 1910, we first meet baby Ursula born with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, we know the baby passes because “darkness fell.”  

But next chapter Ursula survives the cord and plays out a new timeline.

This is a book-dessert of the highest caliber think: book version of tiramisu cheese cake (made by someone who wasn’t you). ♥

Pearl Five

The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” — Oprah Winfrey ♥

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Pearl One

(Heavy sigh.)

It happened again this morning.

There I was, drinking caffeine while reading an online newsletter; minding my own business.

I began reading about a man who’d lost 70 lbs. The story was focused on the “aha” moment he’d had about his weight and how his “aha” changed his life.

All cool, right?

This man did the very strenuous work of losing weight, but at the end of the article he declared, “it was easy!”

That’s where the heavy sigh comes in.

What is it with our culture that we continue to perpetuate the myth of “easy” weight loss?

The animal doesn’t exist.

My take on the situation? In order to sell weight loss products to the public, the Mad Men of the last century had to take a seriously difficult trek (losing weight after age 50) and turn it on its head by using the magical word “easy.”

And we fell for it.

Bottom line: especially in our food-porn world of today, it’s extremely difficult to lose and preserve. As I was losing the 55 lbs, I started to call the work involved with losing weight “my part-time job.” Just those four words transformed how I engaged with the millions of micro-steps and habits that I had to internalize to lose the weight, and then to preserve the loss for almost 18 years. ♥

Pearl Two

Do you track your food?

If you haven’t — or aren’t consistent — keep in mind that most of us have said in the past, “I’d do anything to lose weight.”

“Except for tracking my food of course.”

Think about it. Thousands of people would rather go on the new diet pills and risk scary side effects (which are, at least for now, truly horrifying), than making a habit of tracking food.

I went to the big guy: the NIH who implemented a study concluding that:

The NIH did a study with “the number of possible tracking days was divided to create the 3 groups of participants: rare trackers (<33% total days tracked), inconsistent trackers (33–66% total days tracked), and consistent trackers (>66% total days tracked). After controlling for initial body mass index, hemoglobin A1c, and gender, only consistent trackers had significant weight loss (−9.99 pounds), following a linear relationship with consistent loss throughout the year.

In addition, the weight loss trend for the rare and inconsistent trackers followed a nonlinear path, with the holidays slowing weight loss and the onset of summer increasing weight loss. These results show the importance of frequent dietary tracking for consistent long-term weight loss success.”

It’s dry reading that says: if you ate the fun-size Snickers then write the fun-size Snickers down. ♥

See how they’re pink and spiral-bound? Make it as easy on yourself as possible.

Pearl Three

From today forward, I’m keeping Pearl 3 for something fun that I want to share with you

Last weekend, I binged a bunch of Seinfeld’s Comediennes in Cars Getting Coffee. Big deal, right? Beautiful cars, funny moments galore. In the past I’d only watched the episodes with the particular comedian I loved and didn’t watch the rest.

This time, however, I watched not caring which comedienne he had coffee with, and later, when I was getting ready for bed thought, “I feel like I’ve just watched two very intelligent people having a casual conversation.” This thought came after watching Jerry and Loren Michaels having coffee. It’s amazing that we can watch two super interesting people – tops in their field – have a real conversation.

I like seeing “how the sausage is made” and it’s so relieving to hear that these “stars” have all the insecurities we have. ♥

Pearl Four

French Braid: the Novel by Anne Tyler. Of this exceptional read, Amazon’s description says it perfectly. “The Garretts take their first and last family vacation in the summer of 1959. They hardly ever leave home, but in some ways, they have never been farther apart. Mercy has trouble resisting the siren call of her aspirations to be a painter, which means less time keeping house for her husband, Robin. Their teenage daughters, steady Alice and boy-crazy Lily, could not have less in common. Their youngest, David, is already intent on escaping his family’s orbit, for reasons none of them understand. Yet, as these lives advance across decades, the Garretts’ influences on one another ripple ineffably but unmistakably through each generation.”

As I read, I kept thinking, “now it’ll get predictable, or maybe in the next chapter it’ll get predictable but no, Tyler twists into an entirely different direction I hadn’t anticipated at all. Over and over and over.

Count on this Book Dessert to sail you away from Freezer-Stocked-in-Ice Cream land. ♥

Pearl Five

“The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.” — Tony Robbins ♥

Have a beautiful weekend!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

There’s so many ways to embrace Valentine’s Day and have fun: table settings, door-decor, and clothes.

We have new people – and welcome!! – if you haven’t yet, I want to encourage you to first read “Begin Here” in the yellow ribbon at the top of this page. This site will make more sense if you also read Aunt Bea. If you haven’t received her I’m more than happy to send, please just shout: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Let’s begin today.

Pearl One

The studies tell us that we’re a lonely planet. Fair enough. It’s likely that we’ve upgraded our lives to such an extent that we’ve lost the plot.

In today’s world, it’s the norm that family (immediate and extended) are flung far and wide.

The advent of the car replaced the horse. The advent of the plane replaced the train. And the advent of IBM (I’ve been moved) type careers . . .replaced . . . the family?

Think of it, for millions of years, we’ve walked this planet in a tribe and later in a small village. We didn’t evolve to drive into the garage, magically click the garage door shut, and walk into our home never having seen a single neighbor (black and white to my grandparents experience.

I know I’m speaking to the choir, and maybe and overstating, but it’s possible that a lack of family and community connection has given birth to our addicted planet whether we’re talking about alcohol, drugs, nicotine and/or food.

I’m suggesting is this: for a day or a week, meta-watch yourself and notice how you engage or don’t engage, notice how you react to loneliness in your big picture, but also in your day-to-day.

This is a perfect time to pull out your journal and write about what you learned after meta-watching yourself deal with loneliness. Keep notes if you can.

Pen to paper, ask yourself these questions:

Am I lonely? Is the loneliness so pervasive that it just feels normal to me? Is my life turning out differently than what I’d planned? What is my inner-dialogue when I’m feeling lonely? What do I reach for ? Am I able to take a breath and meta-watch myself as I’m lonely? What do I reach for when I’m lonely When I realize that somebody else is lonely, what does that trigger in me?

When you write, keep an eye-out for unique ways that you can incorporate tinto your life. We can’t go back in time to sit around the fire with our tribe s’mores, but we can develop a better understanding of how our culture is wanting in the loneliness-department it’s not just on us. At the end when my poor dad moved f moved out of his forever home that would only be be six months of living in an assisted living place caring my for mom who has Alszheimers. I think he was lonely. I think the feeling of loneliness will be with us for our entire lives, it’s just part of being human.]

It’s a work of a lifetime to determine how to respond to the challenge. ♥

Pearl Two

Still thinking about loneliness. Remember talking about “sequencing?” Well I’ve decided to instead call it “the cycle” (kind of like The Cycle of Life). Update: I still call it “sequencing.”

And if anybody wants the two original two posts about the cycle and how it works, I’m happy to send it just let me know.

I’m taking a situation from my life years ago.

Default Sequence

• Situation (something super concrete): Fourth of July is coming up this weekend. (A “situation” is something concrete, yes, that’s a dog, yes, that’s a dishwasher, yet that’s my jacket).
• My thought: In my brain, the Fourth of July is meant for friends or family rafting on a inner tube down the river while trying not to get sunburned, and having a blast with friends. Later — again, in my mind — we’d BBQ in the backyard of a someone’s home, and then hang out at her pool all afternoon; once it got really dark, we’d watch fireworks light up the ebony-sky (in my fantasy we could see a beautiful show from the seats of her backyard. Finally, we’d return home happy-tired and slightly sunburned, we fall asleep easily. Thinking what a fantastic we just had.
• Feeling: Excluded, sad, and bummed about a holiday that would never include me.
• Action: sit in my studio apartment (which was super cool) with my two cats feeling left out.
• Result: I initiated nothing and nothing great happened for me over the holiday weekend.

I would love for you to create sequences on your own life; writing about something that’s bothering you currently is probably the way to go. You can write a sequence about something big like a cross-country move or smaller like you have ants in the house.

There’s a second piece to the sequences, but we’ll cover that next week. For now, write a sequence like mine below:

Situation

• Thought about situation.

• Feeling you have after your thought.

• Action you’ve taken b/c of feeling.

• Result of the action.

Try to write one cycle day. If you hit an obstacle, that’s a good thing; write in your journal and ask your unconscious to pour through your pen. Just start writing and the pen (our unconscious) will do the rest. ♥

Pearl Three

From today forward, I’ll keep Pearl 3 for something fun that I want to share

This week, I found the coolest cat “toy” that you can find and use immediately online for zero dollars. Max, my kitty, was sitting on my desk so I googled “cat games” and turned my laptop so the screen sits on the desk, (so upside down) and my cat watched and loves it. Now he shows up at my desk twice a day to see the bugs, butterflies, and string show.

Does it hurt the screen? Well, my specialized IT husband (aka The Scarfer) saw Max playing with the screen and he didn’t say a word (normally he’d have a heart attack). So I asked him, and he said it was fine. Believe me, if he thinks something bad is happening to the tech in our house, he practically writes a novel to my kids and me explaining Why We Shouldn’t Do Something.

So far, Max has patted at the bugs and string a few times. Once he sat on the screen trying to get a bug. I included a picture (a tablet would work even better). He really liked the fish. I think it gets frustrating for the kitty because they can’t really catch anything, so I always drag a string toy after the who.

If you’re a doggie-girl, tell your cat friends about the cat game. It’s adorable . ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy!

America for Beginners by Leah Franqui. This book is a gem. AM New York praises the author he when he says, “A funny, feel-good cross-country tale… exactly the kind of story that we could use right now — people of different backgrounds coming together and realizing that they are more similar than assumed.” — AM New Yorks

“A tender, funny, wrenching, beautifully executed tale of three lost souls who traverse the chasms of cultural, generational, and geographical divides to forge some bonds strong and true enough to withstand life’s gut punches.” — Library Journal (starred review).

Absolutely. What they said.

America for Beginners is a perfect cold winter reading inside book. Loved it. If you guys are trying these books, I’d love to hear your thoughts on them. ♥

Pearl Five

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”
– Malcolm S. Forbes ♥

Have a wonderful weekend indoors reading, in fact, tell me what you’re reading. I’m goaling myself to not eat any candy over Valentine’s Day (unless a kid gifts it to you; then you have eat and rave. Those are the rules.)

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

We’re certainly not hooked on All My Children watching daily with cat on lap (no offense to cats everywhere).

Pearl One

If you’re us, it’s so easy to slip into negative thinking, “been there/done that. I lose twenty, and gain thirty. That’s how the story goes.”

But it’s not “how our story goes” in this century.

Look what I found!

Last week while I was paging through the Wall Street Journal, this headline grabbed me and I haven’t been the same since.

“They’re Cover Girls. They’re in Their 70s.”

“Sky-high demand for older models—women in their 60s, 70s, 80s and even 90s—is creating a silver wave in the modeling industry. They even get stopped at the supermarket.”

The photo beneath is Elon Musk’s mom (Maye Musk,75) wearing an elegant two-piece bathing suit in violet that joins its top to the bottom on one side. We’re talking snazzy.

The article goes on to feature:

• Frances Dunscombe, a 90-year-old who started modeling at age 82. 

• Helen Mirren, 77 (L’Oreal).

• Jane Fonda, 85 (L’Oréal).

• Joni Mitchell, 70 (Saint Laurent).

• Isabella Rossellini, 70 (Lancôme).

• And the aforementioned Maye Musk (Cover Girl and COVER of 2022’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue).

Why Does This Matter to Us?

I’m not suggesting that we become models, but I am saying that when luxury brands are seeking out women over 70 and 80 for modeling-work, paradigm shifts are afoot.

The “little old ladies” from our childhood are from another era.

Today we’re in the midst of normalizing that women over fifty shedding unwanted layers is a real thing.

Still, we know it’s hard work to lose and maintain for a lifetime.

We’re up for the challenge.

Let’s go. ♥

Pearl Two

The “Messy Middle,” how do you handle yours? I’ll go first. I’m currently managing mine badly because I’m bringing very little conscious thought to the middle of a wonderful project I badly want to see brought to life.

But, if I listen closely, I can hear myself getting critical and “bored” with the entire project. I’m great at the honeymoon, but terrible at the “messy middle.” Getting bored and feeling like “nothing ever works” are both ways that I disconnect.

I’m determined that things will be different this time around. This time I’m using the quote from an old Chinese proverb as my North Star, “The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”

I’m also meta-watching myself as I descend from the honeymoon to the messy middle. In other words, I’m not just allowing the messy middle “happen to me.” I’m noticing how I’ve given up in the past, and I’m watching what I’m thinking as I circle the drain today.

To date, I notice that I call what I want “stupid.” I say things to myself like, “this will never work.” “I’m tired of this project; it’s boring and way harder than I thought it would be; I’m ready to throw in the towel.”

I’m just a little ball of sunshine.

So, how to cheerlead myself out of ruining my project via the messy middle? I have no clue, but I do know that the solution begins with meta-watching exactly how I handle the messy middle in the first place.

How does the messy middle impact your life? ♥

Pearl Three

From today forward, I’ll keep Pearl 3 for something fun that I want to share

I saw this fun fact-headline recently:

McDonald’s brings back beloved dessert, Strawberry & Crème Pie, for a limited time

So, here’s where my brain goes when I see this bit of marketing:

Brand: the company has cache to its name – like Disney or Coke – and is happy to lead with it (whereas when I see the name, my hackles go up).

Strawberry: a lovely word that evokes spring or early summer (they must be so happy that we’re not into rutabagas).

Crème: this word is so cool that we add it for the Parisian-flair alone.

Beloved marketing words: the item has returned!!!

Limited time only: Dear, get a move-on or you’ll miss out!!

Nutrition Summary (from McDonalds):

280 calories

• 15 grams total fat (19 % of the pie so almost 1/5 of the treat).

• 34 grams carbs (12 % of the pie).

• 3 grams protein (well that’s something).

What’s not included:

25 grams of sugar (about 1/4 or more of the pie is sugar).

Bottom line: I never eat at fast-not-food outlets. It’s a habit that my mom instilled in me years ago and, while at my heaviest I often grabbed junk food in the drive-thru, I stopped the bad habit when I was losing the fifty-five pounds. Today eschewing fast-not-food completely is one way that I preserve my loss.

I always kept/keep my cold-tote with me filled with an ice pack, and — in the summer — real strawberries. ♥

Pearl Four

Again, these aren’t book reviews, I’m only highlighting books that I truly loved reading. Keep in mind, these books have to compete with peanut M&Ms.

This book is to be read when you’re not feeling so great. It’s like hot chocolate on a cold day. The book begins with a man’s loss of his beloved wife. He waits one year, and as he’s cleaning out her life stumbles onto a part of his wife that he’d never known about.

We watch as a depressed, “life-is-over-for-me” man goes on a hero’s journey returning refreshed and ready to live a more engaged life with his children.

The Curious Charms of Arthur Pepper by Phaedra Patrick.

A snuggle-read. ♥

Pearl Five

We’re still living with the paradigm of age as an arch. That’s the old metaphor. You’re born, you peak at midlife, and decline into decrepitude.” ♥

Jane Fonda

This weekend, I’m starting a new book that hopefully will turn into a great book dessert recommendation for next Friday!

♥ Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

When we’re in it for the long haul: ice cream is gonna happen. It’s what we do next that matters.

Pearl One

It’s important that I woman-up and admit the truth: I ate a bowl of Kraft Mac & Cheese last night for dinner. I know, it’s highly processed crappazola, and yet, exquisite in its own weird-orange-powdery way. I’m currently at the low-end of my weight-window so I knew that if I had a small cup’s worth, I’d be fine. And this morning the scale said I was good-to-go, but what the scale can’t tell me is: how strong are my smart eating habits after I chowed mac and cheese? Did the mac and cheese help my habits or hurt them? (Well, duh.)

When I seriously detour off the smart eating path, the next morning I pull out my journal and ask myself “why” and “what” questions like why am I mad at myself this morning? Why do I feel unsuccessful today? Why am I feeling disappointed in myself? What does “slipping” off the smart eating path mean to me? What kind of importance do I put on slipping?

Our unconscious mind speaks through our pens and keyboards; after I write in my journal, I can feel space between my heart and the “bad” feelings about overdoing junk-not-food.

I write and write and write, and discovered that when I don’t have the ingredients in the kitchen to create quick grab-able food, I easily get lured to the dark-side. I share what foods I have to have at all times in the kitchen here: the Inspired Eater: Fed Up!.

Learning how to live within our mac-and-cheese world is merely a set of steps to take, a new habit to embed. Each of us have our mac-and-cheese moments, it’s how we guide ourselves through those moments that really count. ♥

Pearl Two

I think it’s important to work hard to dial down the “drama” that tends to descend on us after eating a full meal polishing it off with two slices of cake.

Let me give you some examples of of what I call “drama”:

• “I’m so fat and ugly’ it doesn’t matter what I do.”
• “Some people have fat DNA; smart eating is just hopeless for me.”
• “Women over fifty, can’t lose weight. We’re all just kidding ourselves.”
• “I got on the scale this morning and OMG!! It was a nightmare scale-number.”

See? All drama, nothing actually helpful.

It only makes the diet-cartel even wealthier when we swing back and forth between “I’m so fat and ugly” to “if I cling to this diet, I’ll get thin.” And when you gain again, you’re back to “I’m so fat and ugly.”

Thing is, nobody made it to their preferred weight by haranguing themselves.

Preserving my seventeen-year loss, I’m not all butterflies and unicorns, but I haven’t beaten myself up over the years either.

Instead, if I don’t feel confident about one of my habits or see a scale number that I’m not pleased with, I get curious asking myself: in the chain of events that lead to smart eating choices, where did I slip? (No smart food in the house? Went out to lunch with an eating-buddy? Don’t have a solid plan to rejoin the smart-eating world after I’ve deviated?). Write in your journal about what triggered the events that lead to inhaling the food.

Slowly, over time, when you hear yourself being dramatic, gently replace it with a helpful thought like, “Okay, I don’t love that scale number so much; I’ll write in my journal about where I swerved off-course.”

“Swerving off-course” is part of our new-normal.

Journal in-hand, we can do this. ♥

Pearl Three

In January, we’re talking stress-eating, and how we can walk it out of our daily.

For this pearl, I googled “stress eating” and here’s what I found (even at the Mayo Clinic): everyone’s “solutions” to emotional-eating are fabulous ideas to put into place like tracking your daily food, “decreasing stress”, or “have a hunger reality check.”

Developing the habit of tracking food or learning to manage your hunger are all wonderful, but they don’t address emotional-eating.

We know that stress eating starts with a trigger:

• A terrible day at work.
• An argument with your husband.
• A diagnosis you’re not fond of.
• Adult kids who don’t exactly act “adult.”

When I think of my past experiences with emotional-eating I think of bags of salty chips, gallons of ice cream, huge meals on the regular (assuming that my stomach is supposed to hurt after eating dinner. I once even buttered Saltines for a snack.

Eliminating stress-eating is a slow process, but there are concrete steps you can put into place that’ll mitigate the damage. Get comfortable at going slowly.

I talk about giving up sugar in this post, but the concept applies to any new habit. Create a well thought-out plan for exactly what you’ll do the next time an emotion-bomb goes off.

Pearl Four

Some weeks I struggle to find a book worthy to stand with the other “book-desserts.”

But this isn’t one of them. This week I’m writing Pearl Four first before I write the others. Last night, I started the book and read for over two hours (risking zombie-status the next day from lack of sleep). I was drawm into this story from the first sentence: “when people say ‘terminal’, I think of the airport.”

The two protagonists are thoughtful, funny, and wise. One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot by Marianne Cronin is the book-dessert superstar fiction of 2024 (at least so far). ♥

Pearl Five

Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.” ♥

Bo Bennett

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

My hope is that one day she’ll live in a smart eating world where making great choices is a snap.

Pearl One

One of the most “you’ve got to be kidding me” parts about shooting for the stars is that a lot of us can’t really handle success.

You’ve never been successful before, why would you be now?

But here’s the thing: when we’re working diligently on our stretch-goal, it’s easy to unconsciously feel out of sync emotionally with what we’re really going after. Your current sense of self is hitting up against the new-you sense of self.

I call this dynamic “drama.”

Humans do this.

We all have a default thought that goes: I just don’t see myself at that lower weight. It would be like winning the lottery, possible but a billion to one.

This is Your Brain on Affirmations

Affirmations are powerful; I can’t stress this one enough. Instead of telling yourself, I can’t do it, it’s like winning the lottery, tell yourself the following affirmations (bonus points for putting these affirmations on sticky notes to sprinkle throughout your day).

When you lose five to ten pounds, maintain for a month or more to allow your brain time to accept your new weight.

Breathe in and tell yourself:

• “I’ve got you”
• “It’s okay to be lean.”
• “I feel comfortable in my body.”
• “I can do hard things.”
• “This new weight is feeling more like ‘me’ every day.”
• “Holding is a great thing for my forever-loss.”

Talk to yourself daily about how you’re rolling the red carpet out for your new-normal.

When we’re shooting for the brass ring, we have to use everything in our arsenal. ♥

Pearl Two

One of the best food habits I’d ever developed hit the skids last year when I got braces. Crunchy food was out, soft and squishy was in; in the beginning whatever I “ate” had to go through a straw. The cavewoman inside of me was elated, because “vanilla shakes!!”

As I’ve mentioned, I stopped the vanilla shake situation before it went completely bonkers, but I’ve never reclaimed my amazing salad habit. It is totally poof, gone. (And you know what the study our of England said, , we need sixty-six days to put our new habit into our automatic thought-land! (The first sixteen days are hard, it get easier by week 3.)

Now I’m reestablishing the habit.

I’m using spring mix, adding in a bit of Feta cheese, and olives. That’s whatI started with when I initially developed my wonderful salad habit. I’m so excited for my new salad-habit to become automatic. ♥

Pearl Three

In January, we’re talking stress-eating, and how we can walk it out of our daily

We can talk about emotions – boredom, anger etc. – as purely separate feelings.

Like the time Lisa’s husband told his aunt about her diagnosis when she wasn’t around. Lisa was livid.

So, in this scenario, we’d assume that we’re dealing with anger, right? She’s really mad at him.

But usually it’s a whole host of emotions that are flooding our minds  — beyond being only angry at her husband — she likely has a lot of fear of her new diagnosis. She’s sad about her life changing. And she’s confused about what happens next.

Can you see that it’s rarely one feeling that we need “to deal with”, but a soup of emotions?

And that is where the gold lies.

First there’s the emotion of the moment. He told Lisa’a story, she’s mad.

Then there’s a new layer: internally Lisa’s scared of all that’s coming next because of this new diagnosis. And she feels super sad. She’s grieving the life she thought she’d have.

And then there’s a layer of how she responds to being overwhelmed by all the emotions — anger, fear, sadness, and confusion — at once.

I’m going to write a lot more about the layers, but for today: if you find yourself reaching for the cookies, have some. I’m serious.

But within the day, write in your journal about what emotion seems the most obvious. “She’s not taking my calls.”

And last write about all of the emotions in your soup and how you engage with the emotional soup. More to come on this topic. A whole lot more. ♥

Pearl Four

When Viet Thanh Nguyen blew the world away with his first book;  The Sympathizer: A Novel (Pulitzer Prize for Fiction). I vaguely knew what the topic was about, that involved a spy from Vietnan. OMG, the man can write. And I hadn’t realized that he’d come out with a companion book in 2021.

Ocean Vuong says about The Committed: A novel: “The Committed marks, not just a sequel to his groundbreaking predecessor, but a sum accumulation of his life devoted to Vietnamese American history  and scholarship. It asks questions to central both to Vietnamese everywhere – and to our very species: how do we live in the wake of seismic loss and betrayal? And perhaps even more critically, how do we laugh?”

The author is also a professor at UCLA. Like Min Jin Lee (Pachinko) Mr. Nguyen proves that aliens live among us. Five-stars.

Pearl Five

Normalize celebrating small victories along the way.” ♥

Timothy A. Pychyl

I’m taking more clutter to the dog and cat thrift store. Other than that, I’m just reading, reading, and more reading.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

How to use a past spectacular accomplishment to elevate our lives today.

Pearl One

It’s a strong question to ask yourself: what’s one my most favorite wins?

Then deconstruct the win.

What we’re the first, second, third, fourth steps to bringing the win to life? Why is the accomplishment so impressive to you? How did you handle the obstacles? What kept you engaged with the process? Pretend as if you’re explaining to someone else how you brought your accomplishment to life.

Getting to Know You

In your journal write about your top four or five accomplishments that you most cherish. (Has to be an accomplishment that you really wanted; it can’t be you got your masters to please your mom). As you journal-write, really explore what steps were involved that led to that big, wonderful win?

Now pick your favorite accomplishment and ask yourself, how did I make that happen? What was involved deep-down under the surface? What talent and skills did I bring to the accomplishment? (Tenacity, a gut feeling that you were on the track, a super strong “why.”)

Journal-writing is all about getting to know yourself better at deeper and deeper levels.

My theory is that we can look at past successes and tease out the skills it took to make that win, to create another win today. ♥

Pearl Two

Years ago, I was watching Jessica Simpson and her then husband Nick Lachey on a reality show. On one episode, the couple’s traveling and we see them enter their hotel room. Jessica heads straight to a food gift basket that the hotel staff left for the them.

As she picks through the basket, I remember her forlornly saying (I’m paraphrasing), “None of this is on my diet.”

At that, she walked away.

I don’t know anything else about these two, but her one comment stuck in my mind. I remember marveling, “wow, even someone built like she is, fights the daily demon that is food in our current culture?”

It was news to me.

I’d automatically assumed that the “beautiful people” arrived out of the package looking perfect.

That’s my long-winded way of saying, “look for inspiration everywhere: on silly TV shows, in a restaurant, in the grocery store.

Inspiration is everywhere. ♥

Pearl Three

In January, we’re talking stress-eating, and how we can walk it quietly out of our daily

If we’ve grown up with trauma or drama, we haven’t learned how to deal with our emotions without drinking, drugging or eating.

When we have a strong emotion as an adult, we don’t know what to do with it, how to handle it and how to soothe ourselves through it.

Maybe we grew up with people who didn’t know how to engage with their emotions, and therefore couldn’t teach us. Nobody taught you that feelings float in for a few minutes, and then float out like clouds.

If there’s trauma in our background, a big feeling can trigger our PTSD.

And when our PTSD shows up, that’s when we go for the food.

The overall plan is to get a toe and eventually an entire food in the space between “feeling” and “the PTSD.” Our old model was: Big emotion/PTSD/Eat!

We’re working towards a new model: Big emotion/our foot/Go about our life.

What do you do to insert a toe (at first) into the model: essentially “talk yourself down.” Plan this stage in advance of a big emotion, don’t try to do it as you’re having one.

Journal-write about how you’ll soothe yourself when the next emotion that threatens to drown you appears. Begin by teaching yourself the cloud metaphor again and again. It works best when it’s stored in your heart. ♥

Pearl Four

I’m a little down. I’ve plowed through seventeen books trying to find one worthy of book-dessert status. This time, I came up empty.

So, I’m doing a short list of my favorites and by next Friday I’ll be back on track. I’m learning as I go and I think I have a way to fix this.

If you want to laugh: google Lisa Scottoline’s non-fiction series. Her books start with My Third Husband Will Be a Dog. Lisa is best known for her many mystery books, but I love the non-fictions.

One of my favorite books of all time: Pachinko by Min Lin Lee.

I was just about to include an amazing read, The Sympathizer by Viet Thanh Nguyen and discovered that he’s come out with a brand-new book, Nothing Ever Dies. Now I’m stoked to read his latest!!

Last, a story that actually happened. A Woman of No Importance the Untold Story of the American Spy Who Helped Win World War II by Sonia Purnell left me absolutely floored. This book falls into the historical non-fiction genre and the author knocks it out of the park having written the book in a way that you can almost feel the Gestapo just steps behind Virginia as she flees France. Review: an incredible read and one to remember always. Buy this book for every girl or woman in your life. ♥

Pearl Five

“It’s not just about losing the weight; It’s about losing the lifestyle and mindset that got you there. ♥

Steve Maraboli

I’m babysitting my favorite puppy pair this weekend. I don’t know what’s better, the silence or the beautiful, super clean home? (And the furry angels.)

Have a great weekend, everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

We can likely succeed once we know the truth of how the game’s being played

Hello Thrivers!

We have new thrivers who’ve just joined us. And welcome everyone!! If you haven’t yet, I encourage you to read Begin Here to get started on the right foot. (Even if you’re not new, you might want to have a gander. It was badly in need of loving care so “Begin Here” enjoyed a lovely day at the spa.)

Shall we?

Pearl One

It’s the last thing the diet/food-cartel will ever point-blank tell us, but experience has proven it out.

The only thing that really “works” for long-term weight-loss success is the last thing anyone wants to hear so the diet folks don’t talk about it.

Creating a forever-loss for ourselves — not losing twenty for the wedding, — hinges on losing weight slowly like cold syrup-slowly.

Ready for more bad news?

What we’ve all called “plateaus” — I call “holding” — are actually the best things ever for our long-term success.

Here’s the thing, there’s talk on the streets about “a weight set-point” and that it doesn’t matter what you and I do, our body will always default back to that particular weight.

I disagree.

If you and I lose ten pounds at a time – slowly, maybe a pound a week –, and then let our body “rest” (or plateau) for at least a month, we just upleveled our entire weight loss experience. I think of it as “locking in” the new weight.

As you know, if you drop weight quickly, the weight just piles back on. It’s at this point traditionally that we’ve agreed to agree collectively that there must be a biological “set-point.” It’s like the diet-cartel has said, “sure, you can lose two pounds every week, that’s eight pounds a month! Go you!”

We were never told the truth: that losing weight slowly with ample plateaus along the way is the only natural path to a forever weight loss. ♥

Pearl Two

Want to hear a funny thought? We’ve all seen the dramatic weight loss from celebs like Oprah and Kelly Clarkson. The main gist of the meds – if I’m understanding correctly – is that they really curb your appetite so that food loses it’s luster.

But the funny thing is: an apple does the same thing. That’s why I stress the importance of “Eat Before You Eat.”

A little bit I’m being tongue-in-cheek, but I’m also serious. Along with using healthy food to curb our appetites I also include embracing new reframes such as, “Do I want to eat five of those homemade chocolate chip cookies or do I want to be a size 10?” and “If I’m dreaming about junk food, it simply means that I need to eat real food.” (I use this one almost daily.)

And welcome to our newest reframe: when friends and family ask you about your new weight loss just say, “I’m on nature’s Ozempic. Totally works.” ♥

Pearl Three

In January, we’re talking stress-eating, and how we can walk it quietly out of our daily

We’re hurting. We’re furious. We’re exhausted from the drama.

When it comes to big emotions, you and I turn to food. Eating junk food is comforting, always available, and socially accepted.

Somewhere along the path of our lives we established a connection between heavy emotions and food.

I’ve said it before, “The hack we used successfully as kids – given that we survived –, is the very hack that is causing us such trouble today.

Do you ever “meta” notice you? The other day something really disappointed me (forget now what is was, but I’m sure it was huge).

Just as I was circling the drain, it occurred to me to watch myself handle the disappointment (I just remembered what I was disappointed about: I didn’t get a job that I wanted).

If I can digress for a second. Do you see what just happened? I forgot why I was disappointed and just a few words later my subconscious supplied the answer. Writing is a superpower. I can’t emphasize how important journal-writing is to our trek.

Returning to meta-noticing. In your journal write about the chain reaction that ends with you descending into overeating. Because there’s a number of steps that proceed overeating. What emotion is your most difficult to manage? Mine – present day – is boredom. I’m in “danger, danger Will Rogers” territory when I’m bored (especially if I don’t have a structured plan in place for the day). ♥

Pearl Four

I read two “I loved them” books this week. I’m giving both titles because some may have no interest in one and vice-versa. I just finished the best book – fiction or nonfiction – on Alzheimers. If you have any interest, I highly recommend Fighting for My Life: How to Thrive in the Shadow of Alzheimer’s by Jamie TenNapel Tyrone.

Fighting for My Life is like two books in one. The first half of the book Jaime writes in memoir form sharing the immense difficulty she’d had getting a diagnosis, and the surprising diagnosis she finally ended up with. The second half of the book was written by her neurologist Marwan Noel Sabbach, MD.

An absorbing read. Highly recommend.

The second book that comes off my own bookshelf is The President’s House: 1800 to the Present. The secrets and history of the world’s most famous home by Margaret Truman.

This is a super fun read. If you enjoy history it’s like being a fly on the wall. This book will not disappoint.

And look who wrote the book! ♥

Pearl Five

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool.” ♥

Richard Feynman

I’m sorry this post got to you so late in the day. I sat down on the couch for a second and the cat crawled into my lap and settled. He rarely does this with me, so I didn’t have the heart to stand up disturbing his “cozy.” Cats can be so cuddly, but Max only loves my boys. I’m clearly second=tier.

If you’ve liked this post, I hope you’ll share it with others. And if you’re interested in my new paperback — The Inspired Eater: Fed Up! you’ll find it here.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥