You and I are works of art in progress. We learn as we go.

Hello Thrivers!

I have to say, it’s been a tough week. Looking forward to a great weekend of reading.

Pearl One

Could there be more annoying words?

“It’s all about the ‘journey,’ not the outcome. It’s about what you learn along the way, and how you’ll be stronger because of the path you’ve chosen. It’s not the prize that comes at the end.”

Give me a break. When we’re very unhappy with the status quo, the “it’s the process that really counts” message just sounds like a lot of noise.

I mean, say a friend needs a hernia surgery, but first has to lose forty-pounds and can’t figure out how to lose the weight. It’s a huge, important situation in her life.

There’s nothing cute or sweet about food, eating, and our health.

“A journey” makes what we’re doing sound like a delightful train ride through the beautiful rolling countryside.

What we’re attempting here – a forever weight loss — is not a little, cute thing; it’s a big deal to shift from the yo-yo dieting world to the Smart Eating Lifestyle.

We don’t want food to have such a grip on our lives. We each want to be at a particular weight so that certain clothes will fit and we’re sick of being lured or – later — repulsed by food.

You’d like this experience to be somewhat doable, not because you’re a slacker, but because if everything is too difficult to actually work then what’s the point?! For too long we’ve all ping-ponged between “trying really hard” to “accepting what is.”

Couldn’t life just make this one process a little easier?

Yes, it can, but first we have to be honest and start calling our work what it actually is: a rigorous — sometimes grueling — trek. ♥

Pearl Two

Once you’ve named the struggle it becomes more manageable. If you know what you’re dealing with, you bring the right tools and have a much better shot at success.

What do I consider my best tool? Every part of success starts with a thought in our minds that we then  make visible through our actions.

Take committing to bring a cold-tote along always. It starts with the thoughts,

“I need an individualized cold-tote. I don’t have one.” (This is the one I love.)

“I need to prep healthy snacks on Sunday afternoon so that I have something smart to pack in my cold-tote.”        

“I need a specific plan about how I’ll remember to take my cold-tote. (You can put your car keys in the tote.)

Every new eating habit you want to instill starts with your thoughts. ♥ 

Pearl Three

In Pearl Three we closely exam Atom Habits.

In Atomic Habits, James Clear writes, “The third and deepest layer (of habit change) is changing your identity. This level is concerned with changing your beliefs, your worldview, your self-image, your judgements about yourself and others. Most of the beliefs, assumptions, and biases you hold are associated with this level.”

This concept was new for me: the idea of “changing our identity.” So instead of merely employing smart habits, the most important piece is seeing ourselves in an entirely new light.

Last weekend, my sister was running into the grocery to get sandwiches for us. Before she left the car I said, “No chips! I don’t eat chips.” My identity has changed around what I eat. It wasn’t, “oh, should I have the chips? Or shouldn’t I?  kind of thing. It was just “I don’t eat those.”

It’s similar to offering a friend’s mom a drink and she says, “Thank you, but no, dear, but I don’t drink.”

How you see yourself in your mind’s eye is a thought. So, let’s go with “I’m very resourceful and can figure such-and-such out. How you think of yourself is is a huge component of a forever-loss.

Tell yourself, “I’m smart and I can figure this out” like 20 times a day. ♥

         

Pearl Four

The author started writing this debut novel when she was just 16-years-old, and even though I knew her age as I read, it doesn’t seem possible that a young person could write such a sophisticated novel.

Scrolling through Oprah’s Book Club picks, I was pulled to this book because the author and I come from the same part of the world. I grew up in a snooty suburb outside of San Francisco that somewhat shoulders where the author grew up in Oakland, CA.

Nightcrawling: A Novel by Leila Mottley is rough, and gritty, and completely compelling. The novel starts with a bang (my favorite thing) and tells a fictional tale about a poor Black girl and how she manages to deal in life with a deceased dad, a mom in prison, and a brother who wants to follow his uncle to become a successful rapper.

We see the protagonist take care of a neighbor-boy whom she’s known since birth and keep him fed and going to school

Even though this is a work of fiction, she based part of the plot on actual circumstances.

Nightcrawling is gritty and rough, and nobody is saved by a rich uncle. Highly recommend. ♥

Pearl Five

“Struggling is not the identity. You must learn to live while you struggle, such that anyone who sees you can separate the struggle from your life.” ♥

Anonymous

The other day a friend picking me up needed to use the bathroom in my house. As she came in, I looked around and thought, “what a mess, but at least the dining room looks nice.” And then I remembered, the dining room was a wreck too.

It was, like, time to declutter. (I know, I’ve said this before.) Any tips, absolutely welcomed. Here are my challenges: I don’t know what to do about sentimental stuff like drawings from my kids and collars from my fur-kids.

Have a really relaxing weekend, Everyone !

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

My favorite cold tote-bag to carry smart snacks.

My five-star book list.

It’s hard to know whether a new handbag is buy-able without a budget & why this matters to us.

Hello Thrivers!!

Can I brag for a second? I’m getting better at picking really good books for our Pearl Four book-dessert. I’m getting great suggestions from various Facebook pages and I’m also discovering new authors — like John Boyne and Rachel Joyce — and end up wanting to read all of their books.

I wanted to point out my favorite pearl today, but I think all five are impactful for our quest to lose after age fifty in a food-culture gone berserko. ♥

Pearl One

If you and I are talking money and I say to you, “Save more” you wouldn’t know what I meant in terms of your day-to-day money decisions.

Seeing you look puzzled, I might add, “Save, don’t consume.”

At that – and because you’re so industrious — you might begin to squirrel away every last cent. You won’t travel, you’ll buy your clothes at the thrift store, and you’ve ditched the idea of having grand kids because — hello?! — they’re expensive and never hit the clearance rack. (You have to remind yourself to give your adult kids your decision.)

Without a larger, overall financial plan, it would be natural for you to wonder, “Can I afford a fancy hand-bag? I’m not really sure.”

In this situation, you’re attempting to purchase an item without having a greater plan — in the case of money, we call it “a budget” –, and without that guiding light you’d have no idea whether you can afford an item or not.

But that’s exactly how it rolls when various and sundry people tell us, “lose a few pounds.” And yet nobody explains further. It’s as if somebody hands us a parachute and says, “You’ll be fine, just jump out of the plane.”

So, you see where I’m going with this.

For you and I to transform our relationship with food on a day-to-day basis, we must first create a big-picture plan that will help us make wise choices as we go about our minute-by-minute lives.

The Art of Going Rogue

Like using a budget, choosing an eating plan is vital for our long-term success.

In the late ’90s, I just happened to be on WW’s old points, liked the plan a lot, and have been on it to this day. But when they switched to “new points,” it was no matter to me, I just stuck with my pal, the old points system.

I thought, “if it’s not broke, why fix it?”

And bam! that was the dawning of my realization that our lovely diet-culture didn’t — and doesn’t — have my best interest at heart.

At all.

I sensed that switching eating plans every two or three years – old points, new points, colors, eat carbs, don’t eat carbs, fats are good, no they’re bad and so forth — would not help me in the least. (Years later, I agree with me even more today about keeping the same plan throughout your life.)

My Thought

Create your big picture plan. Write out exactly what you’d most love to have in life re: your weight, your clothes fitting well and the like. Maybe you want to be in great shape for the grand kids. Maybe you want to be able to easily ride your horse without worrying that you’re too heavy for him. Or even – like me – you grew up as a butterball and want to experience what a size-10 jean feels like for the next few decades.

Whatever your dream, journal-write about it, create an Oprah-like vision board, and plan to go a bit overboard as you bring your plan into reality. Remember, by calling losing after fifty a “part-time job” we’ve freed up time to let our unconscious speak to us through our pen or keyboard, and our vision board too. ♥

Pearl Two

This Pearl originally appeared in an earlier post.

I started losing weight in earnest back in ‘97 just before my sweet cousin’s wedding.

I was at the heaviest I’d ever been and, no, I wasn’t all lush and gorgeous like Christina Hendricks or Oprah.

Back then I attended weekly Weight Watcher’s meeting on the regular, and I’ll never forget one leader’s masterpiece of a metaphor.

Here’s the picture she painted:

Let’s say you need groceries.

You slide into your sexy red Corvette and drive to Whole Paycheck. Along the way you breeze through three green lights, park where nobody can scratch your baby, and head into the store.

All good, right?

But then the Weight Watcher leader said, “Wait! What if – as you’re driving to your favorite grocery store — you soar right through two green lights, but then come to a stop at a red?”

Do you roll your eyes thinking, knew it. Other people can go to the grocery store, I guess I don’t have what it takes. And then do you turn around and drive home?

Of course not.

That would be ridiculous.

But — her point was — we do exactly that when we swerve off the Smart Eating Path; we eat cake or Snickers or whatever and think, “everything’s ruined” and we commence to overeat for the next six months. Until many months later when we try again and end up in the same loop.

Year-in and year-out.

Manage Your Expectations

Here’s the thing: as you lose weight expect road bumps, slow trucks, and red stop lights.

Stop signs happen. We call them “slips.” Prepare for slips by creating a rock-solid back- up plan. (More on the back-up plan here.) ♥

Pearl Three

James Clear writes in Atomic Habits, “Conventional wisdom holds that motivation is the key to habit change. Maybe if you really wanted it, you’d actually do it. But the truth is, our real motivation is to be lazy and to do what is convenient. And despite what the latest productivity best-seller will tell you, this is a smart strategy, not a dumb one.”

There’s gold in them thar words. Mr. Clear is saying that the human being is motivated to be sloth-like and to do what is easy. My guess is that you and I love the easy life because our ancestors needed to conserve energy every chance they got in order to see the next morning.

So, awesome news: there was a time when our lazy gene served us well.

Even better, Clear is advising us to work with our lazy gene, and not against it. The idea is to make it difficult to get donuts, and super easy to pull together an oatmeal/blueberry bowl.

Clear is essentially telling us to get rid of the food in our kitchen that doesn’t have our best interests at heart, to put small hand weights in the bathroom where we’ll most likely lift them two or three times a day (ten reps each), and to carry a protein granola bar in our purse so we don’t stop at Burger King.

The plan: make smart eating super easy on yourself. Make it a pain in the neck to access the junk-food.

In the old days, motivation was all we knew, today we have a deeper understanding about humans in general and how habits directly affect the outcome of our lives. ♥

Pearl Four

I guess I’m a little bit of a book snob in that I’m far more likely to pick up a book that’s been at least nominated for a bunch of awards. But then I came upon Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys. I opened the book only to find a page packed in awards, notables and honors. We’re talking “#1 New York Times bestseller”, “Winner of the Carnegie Medal”, a “Wall Street Journal Best Book” and on and on. Twenty in total. I’ve never seen a book’s list that garnered so many awards.

That said, I’ve only just dipped into Salt to the Sea’s first few chapters. Salt grabbed me on page one. Set in WW2, the book is told from four people’s perspectives. Reviewing the book, Booklist wrote, “An impeccably researched story of hardship and survival in Eastern Europe. “The New York Times said, ” Ruta Sepetys acts as champion of the interstitial people so often ignored — whole populations lost in the cracks of history.”

But when Salt to the Sea grabbed me from page one I thought, “this will be one amazing book-desert.“

P.S. The reason I’m not further into Salt to the Sea is because I was finishing up last week’s book-dessert: The Echo Chamber. Fun and highly recommended. ♥

Pearl Five

“There is no substitute for persistence. The person who makes persistence his watch-word, discovers that ‘Old Man Failure’ finally becomes tired, and makes his departure. Failure cannot cope with persistence.” ♥

Napolean Hill

When I visited CA last week, would you believe that I left my phone’s charging cord at home? And that the four stores I went to didn’t carry the “special” cord that my phone requires? In the end, it was totally fine. But the funny part was that my sister and niece were more horrified by the situation than I was.

I’d love a follow on Instagram or Facebook!

Have a wonderful weekend, All!!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

My favorite cold tote-bag to carry smart snacks.

My five-star book list.

A forever-habit that will always have our back.

Hello Thrivers!

Mid-October is the perfect time to say to friends and family, “please no food gifts in December.”

And to avoid a Halloween free-for-all, don’t buy candy that you love or even like a little.

Take me, I would never – ever — hand out Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (because I literally wouldn’t hand them out, I’d hide in the dark and eat them). ♥

Pearl One

Remember how we learned in middle school English to never — lol — use the words “always” or “never” when we write? Well, sorry Mrs. Garland, because here I go.

Do you want to know the one habit I never stray from? I always “Eat Before I Eat.” I never arrive at the dinner table, party, or a restaurant hungry. Of course, I don’t show up full either, but you won’t hear me say, “I’m famished!!”

Here’s how to Eat Before You Eat: about thirty-minutes before a meal, have something easy like a handful of cherries, an open-face peanut butter with a touch of honey sandwich, carrots in hummus, a half-cup cottage cheese with grapes (one of my favorites), one banana and so forth. And if I’m driving to an event, I eat healthy snacks out of my adorable cold-tote.

Our mission: never begin a meal “starving”!

Taking the edge off our hunger by using the Eat Before You Eat tool is a massive game-changer because it puts us in the control-seat. No longer is the gorgeous plate of lasagna and crunchy garlic bread in charge.

Sorry beautiful food! Your spell over me is — poof! — gone.

Eat Before You Eat and your brilliant brain is back at the helm. ♥

Pearl Two

When I was a teenager, my first boyfriend – a dedicated weight lifter and runner – would watch me plow through a stack of Oreos in the afternoons (likely while watching Donahue), and finally one time said, “Now you’re just boredom-eating!”

“Um, I’m just what?” Back then, I’m fairly certain that I thought boredom-eating was just what one did.

I mean aside from meals, didn’t everyone snack on junk-food throughout the day and night? I mean, my friends all did (note: friends can make our ultimate success truly difficult).

Needless to say, I didn’t have a clue how to lose weight except to haul out my standard go-to: the yo-yo (which we now know doesn’t work anyway). If I’d only known the main pillars of smart eating, my life would have been so very different (for one, I’d still have my gall bladder. I miss that little guy).

Fast-forward to my early forties when I shifted from losing the fifty-five pounds to preserving the loss, and bringing my boyfriend’s simple comment from decades ago along for the ride.

As I held Peter’s words close, it also became clear that our culture encourages all kinds of eating-scenarios that aren’t in our best interest. Take a look.

• Entertainment-eating (the movies, eating in front of the TV, overeating at parties).

• Friend-eating (you overeat with specific pals).

• Impulse eating (someone brings home butter cookies in a pink box from a bakery).

• Distraction-eating (if I’m attacking the kitchen I can avoid thinking about whatever’s upsetting me).

• Evening-eating (when we inhale dessert after dessert at night).

• Exhaustion-eating (especially returning from vacation or a long day at work).

• The 3Es: every-emotion-eating (pretty obvious, but especially eating through grief).

• Weekend-eating (you let-loose for the weekend because you were “so good all week.”)

• Friday-evening-eating (same, love to inhale food after a stressful week work.)

A Better Plan for Our Smart Eating-Lives:

• Intentional eating (I plan and then make a plan to plan. Planning is like magic).

• Precision eating (I eat a small healthy snack every hour to get myself back on track after a free-for-all).

• Fuel-eating (I know that ninety-five percent of the time I’m eating for the energy I need for my daily life).

Journal-Gems

To get a better grip on why you reach for the highest calories around, start with your journal and give voice to your unconscious through your pen or keyboard. An excellent place to start:

• When did I first begin friends-eating?
• How did my friends-eating progress from there?
• How do I keep friends-eating habit alive today?
• What is a good habit(s) I can instill that will take the place of friends-eating? (Name at least three.)
• What would I most prefer that I do versus friends-eating?

While it’s not the last word on overeating, knowing yourself better will always play a pivotal role in how you engage with food. ♥

Pearl Three

The Pearl Three slot is now being dubbed “the habit pearl” where we’ll look closely at great books on habit.

In Atomic Habits, James Clear writes:

“The greatest threat to success is not failure but boredom. We get bored with habits because they stop delighting us. The outcome becomes accepted. And as the habits become ordinary, we start derailing our progress to seek novelty. Perhaps this is why we get caught in a never-ending cycle, jumping from one workout to the next. As soon as we experience the slightest dip in motivation, we begin seeking a new strategy – even if the old one was still working.”

These words are gold. We know what’s it like first-hand to be in a never-ending cycle jumping from one eating plan to another. In the late 90s I picked a plan that I loved – WW old points – and I did not switch to the WW new points. I hear they’re doing colors now. We shouldn’t be changing our eating plan every two or three years. Choose one that you love and keep it forever.

Boredom is a huge obstacle to success to maintaining a Smart Eating Lifestyle. I even wrote the following post about exciting-eating: “Why Having a Food-Party in Your Mouth is Everything When We’re Losing After 50.” Read here.

Taking boredom seriously and addressing it in our lives is one of the pillars of self-care. When we ignore our boredom, we often default into food. I also wrote more specifically on boredom here. ♥

Pearl Four

• Did the book grab me from the first few pages? Five-Stars!
• Will the book keep me up late assuring that I’ll be a zombie in the morning? Yes, so set a timer.
• Did I learn something new from the book? Yes!
• Is the book good enough to capture my attention over a six-hour flight? Yes, yes, and yes!

I’ve read three of this author’s books and am stunned at how versatile he is. In one book, the back drop to his story is the history of Ireland from the 50’s to current day (The Heart’s Invisible Furies: Novel). So it’s easy to assume that he writes “historical fiction.” An excellent book, I highly recommend.

Another Boyne story focuses on a man attempting to reach the highest levels in the literary world (A Ladder to the Sky) and could be called “Boyne’s pointed thoughts about the ethics of book publishing” genre (Boyne skewers the publishing world). Also, an excellent book. Thoroughly recommend.

But right now, I’m smack in the middle of The Echo Chamber by our man, Mr. Boyne. Here the author takes on an entirely different genre. The Echo Chamber is written as a farce and very well done. In fact, the funniest line I’ve ever read in a book came from The Echo Chamber.

The main premise of the story might remind you of Schitt’s Creek: the parents are wealthy and their adult kids still live in mom and dad’s fancy diggs. The dad is a BBC famous talk show host awaiting a title from the queen, and the mom is a novelist who doesn’t write her own books, but hires someone to do the leg work.

In The Echo Chamber, Boyne mocks social media, political correctness, and the Woke culture as a whole. But even as he shines a light on our current cancel-culture, he stands solidly behind having a deep compassion for all. (He likely wrote this book in answer to his critics who took umbrage with a title of one of his books. He was 100-percent on their side and yet they went after him anyway.)

Trigger Warning (irony intended): I’m only half-way through this very fun read, so I don’t know anything about the ending, but I have heard that the turtle doesn’t make it. So proceed with caution.

If you need something light and entertaining you will love this book. ♥

Pearl Five

The secret to permanently breaking any bad habit is to love something greater than the habit.” ♥

Bryant McGill

It’s going to be an interesting weekend. For our new readers, my dad died in August and so I’m meeting my sister in California to go through my parent’s things (my mom has Alzheimer’s and is in memory care near my sister), and choose what we’d like to have. Then my sister is putting the house up for sale. Okay, this is just getting plain weird. A new family will live in our childhood home?! But, but then where will mom and dad live?! Oh, yeah. Okay, give me a minute, I’m starting to get it. Surreal stuff this getting older thing.

Traveling to CA and then back to Atlanta is a lot of time in airports and on planes. Wish me luck.

And I’d love a follow on Instagram or Facebook!

Have a wonderful weekend, All!!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

My favorite cold tote-bag to carry smart snacks.

My five-star book list.

She’s baaack! After an illness lead her into the land of high-calories, she hopped right back onto the Smart Eating Path. Consider it our super power to rebound after going astray from the Smart Eating Lifestyle.

Hello Thrivers!

I’m feeling great today. Did you know that vitamin supplements can cause insomnia?!

I know!! I didn’t know either.

Many nights over the span of the last two years or more, I’d read and then turn the light off at night, and lay there for a solid one to two hours. It was awful. Not every night, but every other.

I finally figured out that Vitamin D has to be taken in the morning or it causes sleeplessness. Same thing with another supplement I take. Once I moved the culprits to the morning: no more insomnia.

Cookie Monster-relief. ♥

Shall we?

Pearl One

Our first pearl is from a Thriver — one who’s battled breast cancer and thankfully is in remission today — who had a difficult month and fell off the Smart Eating Path. She said, “I went for the pastries, ice cream, bread, and pizza,” but then she used her powerful brain to hop back on. Check out how she did it. And look what her doctor said!

Our lovely Thriver wrote the following.

“I’ve been having a rough time. I have several triggers that — when combined — have always led to a few (or more) terrible eating days.  Lack of sleep, lack of planning, overwhelmed, and any BIG emotion.  

This time the catalyst was being sick a couple weeks (followed by my teen getting sick just as I started to feel better).

I wasn’t sleeping well, all my usual healthy foods turned my stomach, and I was thoroughly feeling sorry for myself because life got in the way and I couldn’t just hibernate and take care of myself. 

I made some smart eating choices and truly did make an attempt to thwart the not-smart eating. But then my teen got sick, and I wasn’t completely well enough to have full energy to help her. 

Cue the pity party and cavewoman mentality. My stomach still wasn’t great (even the thought of veggies turned my stomach). Down the rabbit hole of crappy eating I went. Life has been extra busy (too busy for me).

Turning it – the Smart Eating Lifestyle — around is HARD!  It is MUCH easier to stay on the smart eating path. So, what I do is: no matter how off the smart eating path I get, I keep up my water intake (unless being sick prevents that, which this time it did). I continued to weigh daily (otherwise, whatever my last weight was is what I believe it to be; I need the scale). 

I don’t make giant pronouncements or set high expectations for myself because I know I won’t meet them and it will lead to further food issues and prevent me from getting fully back to my smart eating. I maintained my intermittent fasting schedule, I do not buy large amounts of food. These things help me minimize the damage. 

Now, I know where things got off track and I am MUCH better about keeping the wheels on the track, I have made serious huge progress since working with Wendy.  But this time, it just fell apart, but definitely not as bad as in the past and I refuse to beat myself up for it.

A few days ago, I realized that I was craving veggies finally!  I took myself to the store and immediately got all the fresh veggies that looked good.  I made healthy hummus. I got unsweetened vanilla coconut milk yogurt, berries and grape nuts (to put in the yogurt).

 My smart eating plan is solidly moving forward and I feel good about it. The very few pounds I gained will come off. I am slowly still inching my way to my ultimate goal weight range. My doctor praised me at my physical last week!  In fact, he commented I was “so thin I can feel your bowel” during the bi-manual exam. (Wendy’s note: she was having a pelvic exam which is why the doctor could feel her bowel.)

I assure you, I am not “so thin” but it was a compliment that warmed my heart and certainly helped me mentally start figuring out how to right the non-smart eating that has been going on.

Finally, I remember that I am a “foodaholic” (instead of an alcoholic) and like any proper addict, I take it one day at a time.

My note: I love how Teen-Mom maintained several of her habits even as she strayed from the Smart Eating Path. I love that she didn’t “beat herself up”, because – really — what’s the point? I’m sorry that Teen-Mom was so sick, but I love how she rebounded and stepped back on the Smart Eating Path. Bravo Teen-Mom!! That’s the way it’s done!! ♥

Pearl Two

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I use the words “our” and “we” a lot. I think it helps to know that we have a million sisters out there who totally understand us and how we interact with food. (We’re a vast, sweet group.)

The Economist magazine wrote, ” Loneliness is the leprosy of the 21st century.”

I agree. No longer do we live in tribes, small villages for life, or a home with tight family bonds.

Today we move 3,000 miles away from where we grew up. Some of us even move to other countries. I met a woman the other day: one son was living in London and the other in Japan.

I have a theory that our population stumbles onto a particular addiction – gambling, overeating, drinking – because there’s loneliness there that Netflix or chocolate cake just can’t touch.

So, I use “our” and “we” so that we all fully understand that we’re not alone, that there’s a legion of women who get it. Life is hard and porn-food is easy.

There’s nothing easy about trekking the “weight loss after age fifty” mountain, but it feels more doable knowing that we’re not alone; so many of us face the same challenges and sadness. But it helps to know that we’re not alone, that we’re making this grueling trek together. ♥

Pearl Three

In October’s Pearl Three we’re exploring: gems from Atomic Habits.

James Clear wrote, “People with high self-control tend to spend less time in tempting situations. It’s easier to avoid temptations rather than resist it.”

Which brings me to the Cheesecake Factory. I’ve been once. Enough said. I also won’t go near brunch buffets or any type of buffet (except occasionally on a cruise ship). I haven’t gone near the Olive Garden or those type of restaurants in well over a decade. Our people just don’t thrive at these high-calorie, high-fat, high-sugar, high-sodium joints.

As Mr. Clear writes, “Avoid don’t resist.” ♥

Pearl Four

Have I mentioned that Pearl 4 — our book slot — is not a book review space? It only contains books that sing like Aretha. So you won’t find reviews here on books that didn’t quite live up to their hype.

I usually skim a stack before I find a book juicy enough to make it the book-dessert list.

And this baby I’m about to tell you about knocked it out of the park.

If someone told me that I had to pick a favorite novel of the year, it would be Miss Benson’s Beetle: A Novel by Rachel Joyce. With this book on your night stand? Desserts don’t stand a chance. (Note: the title seems a little cheesy for how good the book is.)

I’ve heard that if you loved Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine: A Novel by Gail Honeyman (and I did), then you’ll love Miss Benson too.

Joyce’s feel-good adventure opens with two women who couldn’t be more opposite who set out on a grueling quest, and deepen their friendship as their journey unfolds.

At a certain age, you and I know how important friendships are, but even so, this book left me appreciating the power of friendship ten-fold. And every time I dipped into Miss Benson, I just felt happy to be alive.

And over 13,000 gave Miss Benson 4.5 stars on Amazon.

Enjoy! ♥

Pearl Five

“You are never alone. You are eternally connected with everyone.” ♥

Amit Ray

Make it a wonderful weekend, Everyone!! (And yes I’m still working on the paperback: this is the weekend I plan to slay it!)

What are you slaying this weekend? Please share in the comments section!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

My favorite cold tote-bag to carry smart snacks.

My five-star book list.

Vets call my cats overweight. So, I feed them pricey diet food which they sniff at, take a taste of & then throw up.

Hello Thrivers!

I hope these pearls find you feeling good.

Pearl One

Our culture is currently having a body positivity moment which part of me fully embraces. I want everyone to feel included, and I never want to return to a time when it was okay to tease, bully, snub, or sneer at someone else because of their weight.

I mean, I want seat-belt extenders on planes, gorgeous clothes for every body size, and restaurant booths and chairs that’ll fit and hold all of us.

But here’s the thing, glorifying overweight like it’s a person’s “lifestyle choice” feels a little too “the emperor is wearing no clothes” to me.

The truth is that the emperor is living at an unhealthy weight, and needs to redesign his eating habits (if not for himself then for his loved ones). And I say this from personal experience: we had a dear member of our family die at just fifty years of age due to a heart attack that we assume was exacerbated by being severely obese.

And forever he’ll be severely missed.

By putting a positive spin on a dangerous eating disorder (binging and/or overeating), we’re doing a mammoth disservice to those who need our kindness, concern and care.

Not our complete and total denial. ♥

Pearl Two

You know how I have a four-pound weight window for maintenance? The lowest number in the window is super low for me, and the highest is flat-out “whoa, what’s happening here?”

Well, I’ve been focused on getting into the middle of my window, and lately am seeing the scale’s number go up.

For a nano, I hoped off the scale and felt myself getting furious at the number.

But then I remember to use my first mantra: “No drama; stay chill.” (No woe-is me. No WTF?!, No this stupid scale needs stupid new batteries because that stupid number cannot possibly be right!)

My first mantra leads me to the second: I remind myself, “Don’t get furious, get curious.” (In other words, I look back over my last few days and journal-write about what’s working and what’s not working. Like the following,

• Am I always doing errands with my cold-tote?
• Do I stop eating at 6 p.m.?
• Am I tracking every meal?
• Etc. and so forth.

Then my third mantra appears and I say, “It’s time to go food shopping for my most helpful and supportive foods.

When things go south, I go grocery shopping (on a full stomach) because when I’m eating poorly it’s a reliable sign that I don’t have the friendliest/smartest food available in my kitchen.

So yesterday I took out a small loan, and went to the grocery store in search of friendly/smart food like my favorite fresh fruit, frozen veggies, salad-stuff, baby yogurts, petite carrots, hummus, cereal and so forth.

The key words here being: friendly, smart, and favorite.

And that is exactly how I handle it when the scale’s number is annoying me.

I use mantras one, two and three and bamo!! I’m back on the Smart Eating Path. (P.S. these three mantras are at their most effective when written on stickies and kept near the scale.) ♥

Pearl Three

Our last writing prompt of September:

Most of us have thought, “why don’t they teach real-life skills in school” like the following:

• “Going Toe-to-Toe with Lawyers, Realtors, and Landlords 101.”

• “How to Travel Well & Spend Less So You Don’t End Up Living Under a Bridge.”

• “The Adorable, the Middle-Aged, and the Senior: What You Need to Know About Caring for Your Fur-Baby.”

Write about the class you most wish they’d taught back in the day. It can be about anything: marriage, money, home repair, self-reliance, castles of Europe; it can be about anything that you wished you’d learned in school.

Next, write about why this class topic matters so much to you and what it would have done for your life to have taken it.

Last, write about how you can bring the energy of your chosen class into your life today.

This is a powerful exercise, one I plan to use again and again. ♥

Pearl Four

Holy-guacamole. Love this author (I first “met” him when I read This Is Your Life, Harriet Chance!) Since I loved Harriet so much, I went in search of the author’s other books. And the second one I found — The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving: a Novel by Jonathan Evision was just like Harriet in that Evision writes about serious topics, yet manages to wrap the seriousness up in humor. (Quite the talent.)

The overarching theme is about the redemption of the story’s dads. Each man had made terrible mistakes – one being a tragic mistake –, and their children had cut-off contact. Sounds like a downer, but the book has a very life affirming message. Highly recommend. Total five-star. ♥

Pearl Five

What I’m trying to do is to maximize the probability of the future being better.” ♥

I love this quote and used it as my journal prompt to write about what I can do today to maximize the probability of my future being better. ♥

And please write to me and share what topics you’d most like to see discussed here! Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Have a wonderful weekend, Everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

My favorite cold tote-bag to carry smart snacks.

My five-star book list.

Pearl One

Remember the time you went out for a birthday dinner with a dear friend, ate a lot of food and “wrecked everything”? (You were all, “Well, everyone was eating and drinking — and that beautiful cake — and I’m only human!” (No argument here.)

But then did you note how three days later you hopped back onto the Smart Eating Path? Sure, you were mad at yourself at first (helps nothing, but okay), but by deconstructing the day (in your journal) you figured out where your smart eating began to tank. that lead to overeating at the birthday party.

And yet when you think about that birthday dinner, you frame it in your mind as “terrible eating” and not “I got back on the Smart Eating Path quickly. Go me!!”

Here’s the thing, they believe we evolved to pay heightened attention to negative moments – like when we felt as if we were being stalked – so we’d stay alive to produce more babies who would also stay alive to produce their babies.

The happy result being you and me. 😊

That said, you and I are still looking for the terrifying, the stupid, and the problematic. What else are we going to do? Our people didn’t survive by joyously tip toeing through the tulips and getting devoured by a Saber-Tooth because we were focused on the pretty flowers.

No, we evolved to default to the negative, so therefore it becomes imperative that you and I consciously call on the skills and talents of our prefrontal (the planning, logical side of our brain) to focus on the small wins that show up during the day.

Give your prefrontal the job of keeping track of your wins each week. And no, I’m not talking scale-wins, I’m talking habit-y wins like the following.

That time when you intentionally began eating a bowl of grapes, cherries, or a yogurt cup after lunch. A great win.

How you habituated yourself to taking an insanely delicious book to bed around 8 pm.-ish every evening. Brilliant win.

And, as mentioned, the time you got pulled into the birthday girl’s overeating, but later got back on track. No question, fabulous win.

Remembering to stack your wins is key to your forever-loss. And because we’re such negative creatures, it’s important to write down your small wins throughout the day, and then stack them in your journal, and finally onto your sticky notes. Read those stickies enough times and they’ll eventually lodge into your heart.

Another fun way to remember wins: start the day with bracelets on your left arm, and for every small win transfer one bracelet to your right arm.

And while I encourage you to stack wins for the week, you can also stack summer-wins, January-wins, cruise-ship-with-a-ton of food-wins and so on. It’s a total blast to start noticing when you’ve rocked it.

You can also make a game of it by telling yourself in the morning, “I will find at least three small wins today.” Kind of like those who “get in their steps.”

It’s important that we notice our small wins and give them to ourselves with a handful of figurative confetti. You don’t want to score win after win while living on the Smart Eating Path and not notice your successful moments. We flourish with positive feedback; because remember we’d all be size 0 if turning on ourselves actually produced anything.

In modern times, the saber tooth tiger looks an awful lot like a gorgeous birthday cake. The next time you’re staring down a cake-a-saurus, plan to “eat before you eat”, thereby robbing him of his (scary, but delicious) power.

Ooh, that’s a win. Write it down!! ♥

Pearl Two

I know a man who created a super successful career making great money all while actively over drinking. After an intervention with loved ones, he committed to AA and he’s now fifteen years sober.

I was floored.

Could you really create such wild success – incredible job, off-the-chart money – when you’re getting drunk every day of the week?

Before knowing this man, I had no idea. I thought that you had to have your act together before the jewels of life would rain down.

This little story is my way of telling you that when I had my “moment of clarity” (AA’s term) and began losing weight in earnest, I was as much a goof-ball as I’d ever been.

Trust me, I did not have my act together in any way, shape or form.

If your life isn’t “together”, can you create a forever-loss for yourself? I’m the walking, talking poster child for it.

Life doesn’t seem to really care one whit about my smart eating habits; it still pelts me with curve balls every chance it gets.

The takeaway: as Life is hassling you no end, hop onto the Smart Eating Path. Then, when you careen off the cliff (because Life) hop back on again, and again, and again.

You don’t have to be “perfect” to get down to your preferred weight and preserve the loss for a lifetime.

You just have to get good at the “again” thing. ♥

Pearl Three

Our subconscious gets excited to be invited to the party. When you’re journal-writing, you’re rolling out the red carpet for her.

Today’s prompt: Such-and-such has become second-nature for me.

And please, take a moment and tell us what’s become second-nature for you in the comments below. Let’s share! ♥

Pearl Four

You might want to sit down for this one. A Ladder to the Sky by John Boyne is the same brilliant writer who brought us The Hearts Invisible Furies (also highly recommend). If the plot doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, give it a go anyway. It is so good.

The main character is an unusually attractive young man who wants to reach stratospheric heights in the world of literature except for one little problem: he doesn’t have an original thought. I was drawn into Boyne’s story from page one – a favorite check-box of mine to tick — where we meet an older successful writer who’s drinking alone in a hotel bar in West Berlin just a year before the wall came down in 1989, and the story spools from there into present day.

If I say too much more, I risk leaking spoilers but I can tell you that the ending is one blockbuster of a conclusion. My review: this weekend order A Ladder to the Sky, put your phone on airplane-mode, make your bed cozy, and sink into one h-e-double-hockey-sticks of a story. ♥

Pearl Five

Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.”  ♥

Napoleon Hill

My good friend here in Atlanta moves to the Villages in Florida this week. Happy for her, but bummed for me. On the plus side, I do love visiting the Orlando area so there’s that. Plus my friend wants to do a cruise, and I’m always up for a cruise if it isn’t too pricey.

I’d love a follow on Instagram and/or Facebook.

Have a wonderful weekend Everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

My favorite cold tote-bag to carry smart snacks.

My five-star book list.