In 2013 after a decade of progressing symptoms, Linda Ronstadt was diagnosed initially with Parkinson’s, and finally with progressive supranuclear palsy, a rare degenerative condition. She’s now mostly on the couch.
In an interview Linda was essentially asked, “What advice can you give others dealing with such difficulty?”
Without hesitation she answered, “Acceptance. You have to practice radical acceptance.”
Smart Eating and Acceptance.
Many of us past meno struggle to accept our bodies. Compared to when we were 16, 26, or even 36, how much — and when — we ate became an entirely new game.
When I finally lost my weight (ages 36 to 42), I wouldn’t have known to use the word “acceptance,” but in retrospect that’s the mental process I ended up at.
I remember sitting in traffic one afternoon thinking, I don’t care anymore whether I lose or not. If it’s the last thing I do, I’m overhauling my eating habits. And what happens, happens. (Trust me, my habits needed major help.)
I stopped stepping on the scale every morning; I put it away and didn’t bring it with us on our moves. Back then my mantra was: it’s about smart eating habits, smart eating habits, smart eating habits. (I do use one today each morning. I call it my feedback-device.)
Saying “smart eating habits”, was like a drumbeat that rolled through my mind daily for many years. It’s yours now, you’ll find it super helpful.
Before Acceptance.
Take a look at the voices that plagued me for years before I finally made it to “acceptance.”
By “acceptance” I mean that I developed a deep understanding that I had to limit my calories if I wanted to wear a specific clothes size. No, the dryer didn’t shrink my jeans, my husband’s bad eating habits didn’t cause me to have a weight issue, and the holidays don’t wreck my eating plan. Acceptance means that I am the only one in charge of what goes into my mouth.
Before acceptance, my voice of denial said, I don’t eat that much, but I still carry all this extra weight. Or, I don’t eat that much, but I still have this pot-belly. Or, I don’t eat that much, why do I have bat wings like my third grade teacher?
The anger within me said, It’s so unfair that I can’t have a couple of bowls of ice cream every evening like the rest of the world!! It’s not fair!!
My inner Eeyore lamented, others get to have what they want. But not me. I’ll never get a handle on this eating thing. The effort is futile.
Ready for the Good News?
Our past doesn’t have the answers to accepting and navigating our smart eating lifestyle.
It’s our future-selves that have the best scoop.
Gems from Your Pen
I get it: communicating with our future-self for wisdom sounds odd, but you might be surprised at how well this idea works.
Ask future-you to write to today-you. It can be any you in your future: you in the summer, you in six months, even you in five years, ten years, and so on. Allow future-you to come alive – so to speak — through the journaling process. Remind yourself that you’ll show this writing to nobody so it’s okay if you ramble, cry (me), or go off on tangents (me again).
Merely thinking about the answers to these prompts isn’t the same as writing out the answers. And, btw, that disdainful voice of negativity is your self-sabotage voice making entirely too much noise. Don’t allow that voice to take up square footage in your mind. She’s insidious and primed to annihilate what you’ve started, so always be on the lookout for her and send her packing.
I’m 57 so I wrote from my future 60-year-old self.
Write at least three responses — more is strongly encouraged — to the following. Remember you’re answering the questions as if you’re the older person writing to the now-you:
- Today I’m reaping the benefits for. . .
- Love, love, love that you put so much time into . . .
- The three best habits you developed for me are . . .
- Awesome that you overcame . . .
- Thrilled that you . . .
- You really internalized . . .
- Somehow you knew that I would need . . .
- Because now I really feel . . .
- Spend special time now with . . .
- It would be easier for me today if you’d . . .
- I would love it if you’d . . .
- What I want you to know is . . .
I haven’t finished reading Radical acceptance by Tara Brach. Two people that I really respect says it’s a great book. Start with your library before you surf Amazon. It might be a keeper-book for some and a great library read for others.
When you shift from past-thinking to future-thinking, you begin to open — like a blossoming flower — to the many opportunities that will support you in up-leveling your smart eating habits.
I would love it if you’d leave a question in the comment’s section below. What part of smart eating are you struggling with? 🙂
Remember, it’s not just your imagination. Health is hard!
Make it a magical week, everyone!
♥, Wendy
P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
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24 Comments
Good Morning Wendy,
I am certainly a different eater than my hubby, as far as when I have the last meal. My hubby can eat a spaghetti dinner at 10 at night, and I have no interest in doing that. I will wake up with nasea, and feel terrible. I love the idea o writing to your future self. We often look back with hindsight and say, “wow” I was really hard on myself back then, somehow it is easier to be critical about ourselves, that celebrate the victories. I enjoyed reading this!
Have a great week!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
You have a great week too and kisses to those furries!
Wendy
A very insightful post Wendy!
I saw the documentary on Linda Ronstadt recently on HBO MAX. It was really good and she actually sang a Mexican song.
Small plates and intermittent fasting are what I’ve been doing lately.
Thank you Robin! I just love Linda Ronstadt and I’m sick at her diagnosis.
I also heard her say, “something’s gonna get cha.” I thought, well, she’s right.
Small plates and intermittent fasting rock! Especially not eating after 6 p.m. if you can manage.
Thanks for commenting!
Wendy
Great idea! visiting you from the link up on the edge.
Thank you!!
Wendy
I love the idea of “looking backwards” from the future.
Dear 2-years-back Katie, Remember when you were discouraged about plateau-ing and despaired of ever reaching your goal? Aren’t you glad you kept on going?
– – – – – – will continue in journal. Thank you for being an inspiration, Wendy! (Maybe my journal should include a note to 2-years-back WENDY, too!)
Plateauing is the best. It really means the new number is settling in.
#EmbracethePlateau 🙂
Wendy
Excellent post, Wendy! My husband and I recently started a plant-based diet. We are not doing it for weight loss (although we both hope that’s one of the benefits). For me the push is my elevated inflammatory markers, which no doctor yet has been able to explain. I’m hoping a plant based diet will address the inflammation. I like the diet, but yes, I miss cheese.
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
I hope the plant-based diet turns things around.
I miss cheese too. I think of it as a spice: I can have a little, but I can’t blanket foods in cheese like used to! Love your blog. But where is the bijou? 🙂
Wendy
Ha! The bijou is in my jewelry making. I have an Etsy shop, but it’s in vacation at the moment because we are in the process of a cross country move.
Michelle
Oh, I’ll check out your Etsy shop — could you send me its link?
I’m curious where you’re moving to. I’ve done two major moves as an adult. It’s a big deal emotionally. Be really good to yourself.
Wendy
I love those prompts to write of your future self! If I have something prepared in the fridge to grab, I eat much better. And it may be more expensive but to buy a single serving of a dessert at the grocery store helps me keep from devouring the entire cake or pie in way too short of a time!
Buying a single serving of dessert is brilliant!! Can I use that?
The prompts really work.
Wendy
I’ve noticed as I get older, it’s becoming harder to maintain my weight. I can fluctuate 3kg either way without trying.
Thanks for linking with #pocolo and hope to see you back soon
Thank you Chicken Ruby! If it helps I love C.S Lewis!! lol.
Wendy
I didn’t know about Linda Ronstadt. I admire her fortitude. I love the idea of prompts from my future self. I’m sure she would be kinder to me than my current prompts, Madonna and Elle McPherson (as in, would Madonna eat this huge chunk of cheese? No). Good to see you in #WowOnWednesday again.
Hi Gail!! I love your blog!! “Is Grandmmother an insult?” was excellent. Every point you bring up is on the money. I had kids at an older age (39 when they were born) and when they were seven or eight I had a relative tell me, “You know, you could be their grandmother.”
And you’re right: she used the word “grandmother” in a disparaging way. I wish your post could be in an Oprah magazine or the Wall Street Journal or something huge.
Just for the record: I consider cheese a spice. lol.
Wendy
This is an incredible post! I’m going to definitely try this different approach- looking to the future! Love this so much I’m featuring you this Friday!
OMG, Lucy! That means the world to me. Your blog is so good. Really beautifully done.
And thank you for featuring me! I did not expect that — thank you so much!
Wendy
Just came across your blog.. and I love this idea of speaking to your future self! I am totally going to do this in my journal! I teach a young Women at our church and the lesson this Sunday is about taking care of our bodies and staying healthy. I’m going to share this idea!
Thank you!
Karin
Thank you Karin and I love your blog!
Wendy
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Thank you Michelle — I hope you’re doing well!
Wendy