It Wasn’t Pretty. Three Donuts and Me and a Thriver’s Amazing Success Story

Pearl One

In the initial years of twin babies, I knew a bunch of moms because our little people played together in the local park’s sandbox. At the time, I was the only person with two babies, everyone else had one.

Those were the days in which I was sinking. All three of us cried throughout those first two years, but only I tried to sleep at night while they preferred to go on scream-crying.

After one particularly bad sleepless night, I said to a fellow mom, “The other moms seem to be having an easier time. Everyone is better at this than me.”

The other mom laughed as if to say, “That is just your imagination.”

I felt better.

So today – when I receive emails from readers — I get a strong vibe that everyone thinks everyone else is having a much better time of losing after 50.

That they’re more committed.

Having greater and easier success.

And rarely – if ever – “slipping.”

If that’s been the drum beat in the back of your mind let me assure you that three donuts and a handful of small cookies later, you’re absolutely not alone.

Take yesterday morning, My husband and I said good-bye to our latest house sit (sweet kitties) and began the five hour drive home.

But before we went anywhere I requested that we stop and get donuts and coffee for the road.

Yes, we stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts and I picked out three.

I ate one donut every half-hour to make them last longer.

Three.

Why am I sharing?

Because I don’t want you to feel alone. We’re all far from perfect. Everyone goofs up especially given our food-porn culture.

Because there are many.

We all have days that go sideways, days when we blame ourselves for “bad” eating.

Begin to watch your eating from the “observer” perspective. Eat your junk food and then watch yourself return to making smart choices on your own behalf.

So yesterday morning I ate the three donuts. Today I’m having my usual: an oatmeal bowl.

Remember, it’s not the donuts. It’s our response to the donuts that ultimately determines our success. ♥

Pearl Two

A wondrous story from a fellow thriver! My history of disordered eating is almost as old as I am.  I discovered at 16 years that eating a big bag (the really large one) of M&Ms was a wonderful substitute for actually feeling my feelings.  Of course, at the time, I had no idea that’s what I was doing, and that it would lead to a lifetime of eating disorders and disordered eating. 

I was able to maintain my weight, or become underweight, for many years despite my very abnormal relationship with food.  But, as with most addictions, it caught up.  Food became an addiction and the weight piled on.  At my heaviest I weighed 90 pounds more than I do today.  Some of that I regained after losing it in a royally unhealthy manner.  I had lost the weight, but not dealt with the emotional component behind, it so of course it was going to come back. 

“The Inspired Eater”/ Wendy helped me to really start digging into the emotions behind it.  In the last 1 1/2 years I have lost over 30 pounds.  No more going to the grocery store hungry.  No more drive thru meals.  None of my addictive foods are in my home (for me it is all things sugar and creamy).   I used to take advantage of time alone to finally get to eat all the food I wanted with no one around and would head to the store or fast food immediately.  No more.  I used to use food shopping trips to sneak in my favorite binge foods.  No more.  I feel my feelings instead of feeding them and numbing out.

I’ve also found a new tool to help me. I’ve learned to treat food, which is an addiction for me, just like recovering alcoholics treat drinking.   “One day at a time”.  For today I will be “sober.” Here’s how that looks for me: I want cake and frosting.  I really want it.  Okay, but it will lead to more sugar and more eating and I have been doing well.  However, for TODAY I am choosing not to get/eat it.  If I want it tomorrow, I will deal with it then.  But for today, I am saying no. Now, if a certain craving appears multiple days in a row and I fear it is turning into a food obsession,  I choose a small amount, have it early in the day, and make sure that my typical healthy meal follows it. 

Approaching food addiction like alcoholism is making a difference—again, always combined with the incredible advice/ideas/support that Wendy provides.  It is a multi-pronged approach for sure.  

There is no describing the wonderful feeling of being able to look in my closet and knowing all my clothes fit. That I can feel good about going out in public instead of wanting to hide because of shame due to my size. 

I once saw a saying that said “what you eat in private, you wear in public”.  Ouch, that truth-bomb hits close to home.  So in my ever-filling tool bag of eating helps, “one day at a time” is added,  and I am happy to have it. ♥

Pearl Three

We have just ten weeks to our Holiday Healthy Weight Challenge!

If you’re doing the Holiday Healthy Weight Challenge — and if you’re not on board, join us — we have ten weeks to bring our goal to life. When you have a sec, visualize exactly what you’d like to accomplish by the U.S. Thanksgiving. (My goal involves getting sweaty for 30 minutes a day. One sweet reader said, “please share how you did it.” Well, B, as soon as I know, I’ll share it!)

And of course, journal, journal, journal about your goal, why it matters to you, what you expect the difficulties will be, how to address those difficulties and how you can re-motivate yourself each week. We can do this! ♥

Pearl Four

Anyone alive at this moment in history – whether losing after 50 or not – needs to eat more fruit and veggies.

And with today’s wacky economy, I want to share the latest news on finding exceptional produce at a low price. For safety reasons, let’s call the upper crust food store Splatts. It’s my husband who likes to peruse the very expensive calories in our Splatts. I rarely go into mine and when I do, I never buy anything.

But I just read some interesting news: apparently it’s common knowledge among the frugal that Splatts is home to incredible produce prices.

The guy who writes the blog, Eat Like No One Else, says what all of my Googling said, “The number one reason to go to (Slatt’s) is the produce. A stop in the produce department is a must for all the incredible buys. I got some amazing deals on some quality produce (asparagus for .88/lb, broccoli crowns for .98/lb, Brussels sprouts for $1.99/lb.).”

Of course, inexpensive produce only works as long as you don’t cave and buy the pricey items. My very best suggestion: before entering Splatts eat something that will hold you (this goes for every food store); then set the timer on your phone to go off at the ten or fifteen minute mark; now proceed into the Land of the Dragons. Head straight for the produce section, pay, and get the heck out of the lair! ♥

Pearl Five

Life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than you are to your comfort zone.” – Billy Cox ♥

Have a beautiful weekend full of visualizations!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

I’ve been asked if I could include something like Buy me a Coffee on the Inspired Eater. So if you feel up to sending a coffee, I am a devotee. You’ll find the coffee “button” to your right. And, as always, thank you so much for reading the Inspired Eater. ♥♥♥