7 Pieces of Advice I Wish I’d Had when I Started Losing in Earnest (chunked down)

First we create good-enough success, then comes the confidence. We circle back around, create good enough again and more confident ensues. Compounding confidence, it’s slow, steady, and totally worth it.

Hello everyone!

I haven’t had the greatest week. I dealt with a doctor whom I really love who was surly with me yesterday (I think we had a miscommunication that I need to address); I have a bunch of niggly things to do that are time-consuming; and I still haven’t gotten my Christmas cards out. (For future readers, it’s February 10.)

On with a happier topic: when I first began writing the Friday Pearls, I’d assumed that each pearl would be one- or two-liners max, but because I received such affirming feedback from you (and thank you!!) the pearls grew and grew into the phonebook that they are today.

So, thank you again.

These pearls exist because of you. ♥

Pearl One

(Your Version)

Today we’re talking about what I wish I’d known when I started losing in earnest back in ’97.

Choose Your Favorite

In Aunt Bea I write about the importance of marrying your favorite eating plan that you can live with forever. I like to think of my eating plan like this: I love my backyard and its fence (that keeps the coyotes out); but you should know that my neighbor has a sparkling, gorgeous, well-maintained pool.

Still, I know that I can’t hop my fence, help myself to my neighbor’s collection of pool floats, and kick back for a beautiful (SPF) day in the sun.

An eating plan is like a fence, it constrains our choices and sets us up for a long-term success. Do I have a preferred eating plan that I’m pushing? Nope, not even a little. Some of us need to be gluten-free, some plant-based and others Keto. What plan you choose is between you and your doctor. Once you’ve chosen your eating plan, expect to keep it forever.  One of the most negative things to come out of the diet culture is that a new weight loss plan is being pushed every two years. This is not in our best interest, it only benefits the companies. Find an eating plan you like, and use it as you’d use a fence around your backyard.

(If you haven’t received Aunt Bea just shoot me an email at Wendy@theinspiredeater.com and I’ll send her right to you.)

Jot it Down

Keep a pretty notebook with a pen next to your fridge, and record what and when you eat every single day. Recording food becomes second nature once you’ve established the habit. (And if you detest this idea, read on.)

Twenty-six years later, I’m still at it. Why? Because it keeps me honest and engaged with my daily intake. The whole goal is to stop being unconscious when we eat and become engaged on a conscious level with our food. Plus if you don’t write it down, it’s super easy to eat more than you realize.

If the idea of writing out your food intake sounds like a terrible idea, journal-write about your feelings towards tracking. Something is going on underneath not wanting to track. And by the way, women who don’t want to track are a thing. You’re not alone. Many struggle with the idea of tracking. Journal-write and explore what’s happening beneath the surface of tracking.

We can do this. I may sound cheesy and oddly cheerleady, but we can do this. Just follow my bread crumbs and we’ll get out of the woods forever.

It’s Not Only What, It’s When

It took diligent work and the power of time to develop the habit of not eating after 6 p.m. I’ve found that if I stop eating around 6:00 p.m., I wake up loving the scale.

You guys, if you think I’m full of hops (as my gram would say) check out these two links by heavy hitters in the science/health world:

ScienceDaily: “Eating dinner early, or skipping it, may be effective in fighting body fat.” (www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/11/161103091229.htm.)

National Institute of Health: “Timing of Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. Effects on Obesity and Metabolic Risk.” (www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6893547/.)

Ruin your Meals

I never eat hungry because I always “eat before I eat.” Always. Eating before eating usually means that an hour before a meal with others or any large, tempting meal, I’ll have something like one of the following: a small container of yogurt, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat (easy on the PB&J), an apple or grapes.

Super Smart Eaters

Years ago I learned – thank you Tony Robbins – that rather than asking, “Why Me?” to instead ask strong questions that actually serve you like, “How can I eat today for maximum health?” or “How can I take my spinning workout from forty- to sixty-minutes?“

But then I happened on this 180-degree difference of a question – by writer Dickie Bush — that wowed me:

What would I do to make today horrible? (LOVE this question!!)

Writing is a human being’s superpower. I keep my journal in my computer (One Note or Evernote) where I write and write and write to find answers to my problems. (Feel free to name your journal. Remember how Anne Frank called hers kitty? An adorable idea.)

Journal-writing brings my unconscious to life and the unconscious comes up with coolest solutions and/or mind-shifts. It’s like seeding your garden. Keep at it and beautiful blooms will appear. Just ask your brain strong questions and write out the beautifully scented answers.

The Beauty of Compounding

Say you eat a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s every single evening for a week. (We’ll go with Chunky Monkey.)

One bowl for a week? No biggie.

But say you eat a bowl of Chunky Monkey every night for a year?

Ohhhh, my bad! You wanted to fit into your bathing suit come summer? Sorry, but compounding is working against you when you OD on Chunky Monkey for 365-evenings.

Now let’s say that you’ve moved your measuring cups to an easy to reach cupboard  (at least two sets of course) and use them at each meal. Let’s also say that you’re eating healthy bites throughout the day like baby carrots, and you Eat before You Eat, and you celebrate your tiny-wins – every day. . . for a year? (Heck, even four months.)

Now you’re using the cool party trick of compounding for your highest good.

So, be-be gone Chunky Monkey! Hello sandy beach in June!

The Insidiousness of Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage may turn out to be a human reaction that’s triggered when our unconscious – our cave woman — is merely working hard to protect us.

Her basic motto is: don’t reach for the gold. It’s way too scary. Just stay in your cave where it’s cozy and protected, and there’s loads of food in the fridge! Do any of these scenarios sound right?

Self-sabotage might be a learned behavior from childhood that we’ve carried into our adult lives.

Or maybe having been disappointed time and again, you’re sick of trying. (You’re done.) But that’s okay: feel “done.” Let your feelings surface and journal-write about them and how sabotage unfolds in your life.

The more you journal-wrote about how self-sabotage unfolds in your life, the more skilled you’ll become at catching the self-sabotaging behavior before it sneaks in and tries to wreck your plans. Don’t let it.

Learning to say, “I see you, self-sabotage, and I know that when you show up, something is likely frightening me” is a great place to start in your journal. ♥

Pearl Two

But what I really, really, really wish I’d known

Here’s yet another “fact” of life that the diet culture has long pushed. They like to tell us that when we do enough of a, b, or c, losing weight will become effortless. The weight will practically melt off. You’ll never have a serious craving ever again!

You guys, if someone tells you this – ever – they’re lying to you. Okay, maybe that’s too harsh, maybe they don’t know that they’re lying because they’ve never had much weight to lose in the first place, so they don’t understand how difficult this trek is for women over 50.

I’m not being cruel, I think we’re stronger and better equipped knowing the challenge that’s before us. I think anything less and the culture is infantalizing us when it says that “losing will be easy.”

Bring the right tools to the lifestyle and losing after 50 becomes a touch – just a touch – easier. ♥

Pearl Three

During the month of February, I’m leaving this slot for talking smart mind-shifts like how important it is to call this endeavor of losing after 50 a part-time job or a hobby.

Today’s mind-shift: we’re first generation trekkers. I’ve often used the image of trekking up the Matterhorn as being as challenging as losing after 50.

I call us the first generation of trekkers because we’re the first to have a handle on how to navigate our food-porn culture. I’m not saying we’re perfect, but I am saying we know so much more than our moms or grandmas knew, and we’re the first to put this intel into action.

Be proud of the role you’re playing in history and take notes as you lose and maintain so when someone asks “how did you pull this off?” you’ll have the details ready to roll. ♥

Pearl Four

If you’ve grappled with the medical system — and who over 50 hasn’t? — this memoir is like a gift from the heavens.

The Beauty of Dusk by Frank Bruni starts a tad slow. I found myself skim-reading and began to think that maybe the book should have been distilled down to the size of an article.

Thankfully!! I did not put the book down (after coming super close). In his early 50s, Bruni had it all: a phenomenal job (New York Times columnist and bestselling book author), friends, family, a partner: he was living his best life. But one morning he woke up with a blurriness in one eye that turned out couldn’t be fixed. Even worse, there’s a twenty percent chance his other eye could go down the same path, rendering him blind.

Bruni shares deeply personal stories about his life, his health and how he manages his world with a (mostly) invisible disability. Bruni layers into his memoir all that was involved with taking care of his once highly competent father who with Alzheimer’s, going through a break-up when he’d just learned his diagnosis, and incredible stories about how different people deal with disease or a disabling condition. Review: worth your time to read or listen on audio. ♥

Pearl Five

The greatest lesson I have learned in life is that I still have a lot to learn.” — Maya Angelou ♥

One fun thing about this week: we have snow in our forecast at 100 percent. If it snows in Atlanta, it’s usually a light dusting (what I call “pretty snow”). So wish us luck. Usually when the powers-that-be forecast snow, it doesn’t actually snow. But even the tiny snowflake on the weather report is fun to see.

One last thing: I got my Pringles (I mean, my shingle’s) shot this week. Years ago, my mom’s friend got shingles in her early 60s and it was not pretty. I vowed that I’d get the shot (there’s two at different intervals.) Consider this a gentle nudge.

Have a habit-fueled weekend everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

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