Great News! Being a Goofball is No Reason to Stop Losing Weight After 50

Pearl One

First a caveat, I’m so thankful for the self-help world; I’ve benefited greatly. So please don’t think I’m dissing self-help. Not at all.

Given that, I’ve spent the last five decades reading self-help books, listening to cassettes (lol) and to podcasts these days. And I love a good TED Talk. I also became a licensed therapist in CA for a few years.

But somehow I took in a super subtle message – just lightly layered into the self-help vehicles – that high self-esteem is essential before we can create something of value (in our case, taking back our health; losing and maintaining after 50).

And yet I’m proof that the theory is completely wrong! I lost 55 lbs. and have kept them off for nineteen years now, and I’m a total goofball.

Turns out, we don’t have to be heads and shoulders above the average. We can feel so-so inside and still produce massive results.

Here’s what happened for me.

Back when I initially got serious about renovating my eating habits (mid-30s), my self-talk was lousy; my confidence maybe a C+ depending on the moment; and, my courage? Well, I can see where you might say that I was being semi-courageous a time or two, but on the whole, I utterly freak out when I’m supposedly “being courageous.” So, not sure that counts. (Still working in a “staying serene in a crisis” thing.)

And yet – even with iffy self-esteem — I lost the 55 lbs. and have maintained the loss for nineteen years now.

Our Takeaway

We don’t need the confidence of Oprah, the emotional strength of Brene Brown, or the brains and stamina of Sara Blakely (Spanx).

We can be an emotional mess and still lose and maintain after 50!! Isn’t the best?

Isn’t that the best?! Doesn’t that just open up the whole world to us? We don’t have to “have our act together” to get out there and make it happen. We’re messy and that’s okay.

My new mantra, please join me: we can be mushy on the inside and still create amazing lives for ourselves.

Because remember: I’m you.

Let’s take our messy paths together. ♥

Pearl Two

Writing prompts for you and your journal:

• What does “having it all together” actually mean to me? Where did that idea come from?
• What parts of my life are working well right now, even if they’re small?
• What strengths have I developed because of the mess, not in spite of it?
• When was a time I moved forward without a perfect plan—and it still worked out?
• If I waited until all my ducks were flying in formation, what would I miss out on?
• What would “progress” look like today if I gave myself permission to be imperfect?
• What am I afraid people will think if they see I don’t have it all together? Is that fear really mine—or something I’ve been taught?
• How would my definition of success change if I valued resilience over polish?
• Where am I underestimating myself right now? What would I try if I trusted myself more?
• What does showing up anyway look like for me this week? What one bold move could I make—even if I feel shaky doing it?What do you think about crazy-wild success like a Jeffrey Bezos? Or even Kris Jenner?
• People who are super successful are . . .
• I wish that I were more. . .
• Do you think of yourself as a food-binge or an over eater in general or both?
• The root cause for you seems to be. . .
• It’s hard for me to believe that women over 50 can. . .♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

Automatic Sequence:

• Situation (be super concrete): My 22-year-old has my hair – if it gets “long” I look like a cavewoman – and he’s growing his.
• Default thought: He looks like a caveman. Why in the world is he choosing to look like a ragamuffin?
• Feeling: perplexed and annoyed.
• Action: I say nothing.
• Result: Nothing improves.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (be super concrete): My 22-year-old has my hair – if it gets “long” I look like a cavewoman – and he’s growing his.
• Chosen thought: Part of maturing is trying out different hair and clothes styles.
• Feeling: Empathetic to his position as a young person exploring what he likes and doesn’t like.
• Action: I say nothing.
• Result: I talk to myself about my son being a separate person from me. And that he’s pushing back and my tolerating is what being a “good enough” mom is all about. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

The River Is Waiting: A Novel by Wally Lamb (yes, that Wally Lamb, but apparently Oprah’s made peace with the author because I found this book on her book list). I’m just now diving into the story. It was on the lists as one of the most awaited books of 2025. ♥

Pearl Five

“One thing I have come to notice in my life is that recovery for me has not been linear. It’s more two steps forward, three back, five forward, two back, so I’m always improving but there are setbacks within the improvement.” — Jonathan Van Ness ♥

Rather than telling friends or family about my site, it would be awesome if you would tell your doctors the Inspired Eater.

Make it a beautiful week! And I hope to see you on Facebook.

♥, Wendy

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I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.