How Taylor Swift Sets Herself Up for Success: Let’s Borrow Liberally

Hi Everyone!

No need to panic but we’re 38 days away from Christmas! In pearl four I list five-star amazing gifts for kids.

Shall we?

Pearl One

There was a time when my own self-talk was in the toilet and it wasn’t until a friend called herself “fat and ugly” that I realized how far my own positive self-talk had come. Prior to being in therapy and later becoming a therapist, I was once abusive internally to myself.

And yes, that’s how I think of it: we’re abusing our own self when we engage in such a hateful and demeaning way deep inside.

My friend had a weight issue that bothered her. I’d seen her get thin and go back to heavy a couple of times and I never once thought of her as “fat and ugly.” My friend is a highly educated woman and can work in a number of fields given her skills and degrees are numerous; she volunteers in cat rescue and is a fabulous mom to three engaged, curious, sweet young men.

Do you see my point? Who she really is has nothing to do with what her skin-suit looks like.

Let’s take a lesson from Taylor Swift’s playbook on positive self-talk and how she has her own back.

How Taylor Swift Slays

I know that most of us grew up in the Elvis, David Cassidy, Eagles eras, but watching the back story and rise of Taylor Swift has been nothing short of astonishing. Her politics and skimpy outfits aside, who in the world can see their life trajectory as a young girl? I mean, how did she learn to write such beautiful lyrics? And then get her parents to move to a new state?

Positive self-talk. Taylor Swift uses it in spades. Look how she cheerleads herself:

TS: Before a concert. “They’re not going to throw things at you. It’s going to be OK, it’s going to be OK.” This is what Taylor tells herself before every performance. It falls into “what’s the worst that can happen?” category.

For our purposes: we can think, “What’s the worst that can happen if I give not eating after 6 p.m. a go? I’ll try it for a week and see what happens.”

TS: “Never be ashamed of trying and failing.” Love, love, love that she espouses this wisdom often. I’ve tried various projects through the years, some worked beyond my wildest dreams (beginning with my weight loss), while others sank like a lead balloon. In the past, I’ve always felt shame when a project tanked. Taylor’s words meant the world to me.

For our purposes: if living within a certain weight-window is what you want, then never stop reaching for the gold. Weight loss and a lifetime maintenance looks very different today than in David Cassidy’s day.

 TS: “You should think of your energy as if it’s expensive, as if it’s like a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it.”

For our purposes: omg, beautifully said!! Taylor is saying that your time, attention, and emotional energy are valuable and not everyone deserves unlimited access to them. Only those who treat you well, respect your boundaries, and bring something positive to your life have “enough” to buy that luxury.

This important reframe is why I say to call what we’re doing “a part-time job.” We want to do all that we can to elevate what we’re doing: losing weight and maintaining for a lifetime after age fifty. You are a valuable person. Call losing and maintaining a part-time job and give yourself the space and time to nail what really matters to you.

The voice in our head shapes our life. Choose kind, encouraging words every day. We’re not just thinking differently, we’re building resilience, and confidence from the inside out. Start small, stay relentless in your pursuit, and watch how positive self-talk can transform your inner landscape. ♥

Pearl Two

Writing prompts for our journal! If the below is too much, pick your three favorite questions. The last thing you want is to feel like you have homework.

• Write about a moment recently when you felt proud of your body, what made that moment feel special?
• Describe your body as if it were a trusted friend. What would it say to you about your worth and strength?
• List five ways you show kindness or respect to yourself that have nothing to do with weight.
• Reflect on a non-scale win this week. What does the win tell you about yourself?
• Write about a limiting belief you’ve held about your body or age and how you can reframe it positively.
• Imagine your life if you fully treated yourself like a valuable person no matter your weight. What would change in your habits or self-talk?
• Write about you in five years from today. What will your life look like? What can you do today to make the five-years-away you that much happier.
• Make a “self-value inventory” listing qualities, strengths, and achievements that prove your worth beyond your body. ♥
  

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

Knee-Jerk Sequence

• Situation (be super concrete): Tara, 67, lost forty-five pounds two years ago. Now she’s up ten pounds.
• Initial thought: “My old habits are creeping back. How do I stay motivated when the excitement of ‘losing’ is gone?”
• Feeling: Tara feels scared that she’s heading for a full regain. She’s tired of dieting forever, but she also doesn’t want to lose the body she worked so hard for.
• Action: In irritation she resolves to “do better.” She throws every food item out of the kitchen that could possibly cause trouble. Then she signs up for the pricey Pilates studio that just opened.
• Result: Tara lost five pounds by being strict with herself. But over time the five pounds returned.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (be super concrete): Tara lost 45 pounds two years ago. Now she’s up ten pounds.
• Chosen Thought: “I’m doing something different this time. I know that if I allow my habits to slide I will have the inevitable weight gain. It’s merely part of living the Smart Eating Lifestyle. What’s happening with my eating is normal and par for the course.”
• Feeling: Tara feels like she’s challenging herself in a positive way to navigate her ship into calm water.
• Action: She takes time out to give critical thought to which habits needs shoring up. She also revisits what’s propelling her to make a dramatic change to her eating habits in the first place. And she goes back to looking at her habits and writing solutions to each obstacle.
• Result: Within a week she’s back to living her best Smart Eating Lifestyle. Tara returns to the groove of buying her favorite smart food, using her cold-tote daily and takes her workouts in a new direction: she signed up for one of the new studios that offers competitive-style choreography fitness classes with an emphasis on fun. ♥

Pearl Four

Gift alert for Kids! These true stories are ones that I read to my sons. All four of these books would make wonderful gifts for kids ages 3 to 9. Really you can’t go wrong with these four stories.

• The Bear that Heard Crying. Set in 1783 a little girl disappears into the woods, but is saved by a “big black dog.” A descendant of this little girl found this story while researching her family in New Hampshire records.
• Owen & Mzee: The True Story of a Remarkable Friendship. An orphaned baby hippo and 130 year old giant turtle bond.
• Owney, The Post Office Dog And Other Great Dog Stories. A dog rides the rails with the postal people. Owney is now stuffed and lives in the Smithsonian.

Fiction stories. Do you know the Henry and Mudge stories? They are the most heart-warming stories ever. I read Henry and Mudge aloud to my kids initially and later the boys used the Henry and Mudge books as they were learning to read. They are sweet times 1000.

• Henry and Mudge a box collection made of the six first Henry and Mudge books.
• This Henry and Mudge box collection holds every book of the boy and his dog.
• If you want one of the best gifts I ever gave my teens (and then used myself): The Complete Calvin and Hobbes collection. A wonderful gift for kids and adults. Bill Waterson’s humor and drawings are for every age.

Pearl Five

Wouldn’t it be great to be gifted? In fact, it turns out that choices lead to habits. Habits become talents. Talents are labeled gifts. You’re not born this way, you get this way. ♥

Seth Godin

As I say each year, now is the window of time to request no food gifts in December from family. Tell them you’ll take diamonds and rubies instead. Emeralds in a pinch!

Have a wonderful week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

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I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.