Maintain the mystery. Protect your passion. Shun sharing with your Eeyore.
Pearl One
He’s cute and pathetic, and has the sweetest pink bow on his tail. We might want to mother him — you know — transform his sad little outlook.
And if he’d only stayed in the book, there wouldn’t be a problem.
But the Eeyore-people of the planet are all around us. At first they seem benign. It almost seems inconceivable that they can dream-destroy, but beware these seemingly “innocent” characters.
While it might appear like a good, warm hug would transform an Eeyore it won’t work because a) they won’t change unless internally motivated and b) they’re more entrenched in their beliefs and are actually dangerous to those of us dedicated to growing and evolving in life. The Eeyore can decimate our dreams, goals, and plans with one or two beleaguered comment(s).
That said the Eeyores comes in so many shades of gloom that it’s not always apparent that we’re dealing with an actual Eeyore.
Your basic, no-frills Eeyore will forever default to lamenting, “nothing good ever happens. It’s just one thing after another. Must be raining out. Woe is me.”
Other Eeyores are passive-aggressive. This type concludes every barb with, “Come on! I was just joking!” or “I only say (the barb) to be helpful. I’m worried about you. I don’t want you getting your hopes up, only to see them dashed. Again.”
And finally we come to the aggressive-aggressive Eeyore who – upon hearing our new venture — responds with laughter while belittling, ignoring, or sneering at our plans.
While somewhere deep inside we know there’s no convincing an Eeyore, we try anyway when we say, “Really, this time feels different. I’m changing my habits and how I deal with food.” And at that – like clockwork – the Eeyore shakes his head, chuckles a bit and says, “What will this be? Like your 368th time of ‘you’re really transforming’? I don’t get why you waste your energy.”
And with that he walks away leaving you in a puddle of anger, hurt, maybe even a little agreement (“maybe he’s right”). Do you see why I call an Eeyore “dangerous”? The instant you start doubting yourself, they’ve made an inroad and will work to topple your plans.
After he leaves the room, you work internally to put your heart back together (again), clean the kitchen and head to bed all while thinking, “why can’t he be more supportive?”
Take a good, long look – quietly — at the person you’re engaging with. And journal-write about what you see before you.
Whether you’re dealing with an Eeyore-friend, family member, co-worker, or partner, they’re dangerous because they can decimate our plans, if we allow it.
Never dismiss an Eeyore’s attitude as nothing, or think, he just doesn’t understand. As I lose weight and change my habits, he’ll come along.
Thing is, Eeyores don’t change. For whatever reason — that’s between them and their therapist — they don’t want us to grow and evolve. They have a certain way of seeing us, and they want the image kept in place.
So, protect your plans. Be a closed book, and get on with transforming your life. ♥
Pearl Two
Your mission should you accept it. Let’s say that you’ve found a diamond mine and can’t wait to tell the Eeyores in your life how beautiful and sparkly and awesome the mine is!
And therein lies the real problem, you “can’t wait to tell your Eeyore.”
Of course we want to share our happiness, but we need to firmly understand that an Eeyore will not take joy in your joy.
Sadly, like a broken record, the Eeyores want to tell you why something won’t work. They have zero interest in brainstorming ways to help you jump the hurdle. Most have no idea how to jump a hurdle anyway.
Dream a Little Dream of Me
In the beginning, as you start to put your dream into action, don’t share the dream and action-plan with anyone. Let the diamond mine be your own special secret for months (even years) to come.
Same goes, when you’re in the “messy middle” of your action plan. (I write about the messy middle here.)
Eventually when you feel a steely resolve about your diamond mine and are ready to share, be insanely choosy about who you share it with.
If you feel at all squishy, an Eeyore will smell blood and point out the many flaws in your plan because he’s “just trying to help.”
Which is fine. Once you feel a total, no holds barred commitment to your dream, then whatever negativity pours out of your Eeyore will simply bounce off.
But personally I believe in moving the Eeyore’s in your life along. It might sound heartless, but I said goodbye to the two Eeyore-friends in my life. And for my Eeyore-family members, I share very little to no info.
Today it’s become a habit. Until I’m 100 percent behind my venture I share the dream and plan with nobody. Ever. ♥
Pearl Three
Vocab Alert! I have a new term for the items in our lives that make crushing the Smart Eating Lifestyle more do-able. From now forward, I’ll call these little helpers — like measuring cups, air fryers, a cold-tote and so forth — “gear.”
My favorite gear at the moment is silicone “parchment paper.” My family goes through parchment paper quickly and I was happy to find that they make the silicone parchment paper version. So, my pizza-eating son received silicone parchment paper for Christmas.
The silicone parchment paper works as beautifully as the silicone muffin cups that I also love and recommend.
If you have smart eating gear, we’d love to hear about it!! Please share with the group in the comments below. ♥
Pearl Four
Our food slot. Decades ago, I had a favorite restaurant that served an amazing appetizer: the pretty plate held a generous wedge of Cambazola cheese, four heads of garlic, and cherry chutney. And all of the tasty spreadables were joined by little French bread rounds ready to be layered in cheese, garlic, and chutney.
OMG.
I inhaled more of this awesome appetizer than I’d like to admit.
But when I decided to make some big changes in the mid-90s and began losing weight in earnest, no way was the appetizer coming with me into my new Smart Eating Life.
So, I kissed Cambazola cheese goodbye, but planned to keep my relationship with the roasted garlic in the mix.
Here’s how I make it. I take a head of garlic – not a clove, but a head – that comes in a papery-white cloak (so to speak). I chop off the first quarter or third of the head (not at the root, but at the head’s head), exposing all the little cloves.
I drizzle each head in a bit of olive oil, and place the head face down on foil. The foil gets wrapped up like a little package and goes into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. (When I make roasted garlic for my family, they each get one full head.)
Roast for 30-minutes. After roasting, the garlic will be like butter and very easy to scoop out with a knife and spread onto bread, crackers, or even added to your salad. ♥
Pearl Five
Don’t walk away from negative people. Run!” – Mark Twain ♥
Also, I want to let you know that I’m opening the New Year by offering my e-coaching program that will focus on ironclad solutions to your most annoying food problems. For three months (or more, your choice) we’ll email each other at least three times a week looking specifically at how to shift your eating patterns with a goal of a forever weight loss. For the details email me at Wendy@theInspiredEater.com. The price for e-coaching is $49/per month.
Have an Eeyoreless weekend, everyone!
♥, Wendy
P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!
