Hi Everyone,

These Pearls are a tad long so let’s get started! And welcome to new people! If you didn’t receive Aunt Bea just email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com. ♥

Pearl One

Today we’re talking “individuation” in Pearl One and in Pearl Two “differentiation.” Then we’ll talk why they matter in our smart eating lives.

A new friend and I agreed to meet at lunch for Thai. We were just getting to know each other, but one thing caught my attention when we ordered. You know the spring rolls that’ve clearly been fried in grease? Well, gross or not, I love them. I don’t always order them but when I do, I eat the whole thing and then ask if you want yours.

So, when the staff person asked if we would like spring rolls with our lunch?” my friend immediately replied, “We don’t eat those fried things. No, no, icky, icky” and looked at me for confirmation.

I didn’t say, “but I LOVE them!”

Instead, I didn’t make a peep.

The – what l perceived to be – pressure to be like her, eat like her and hate spring rolls like her, felt concerning. I mean, it wasn’t a surprise, but the “let’s be alike” thing can be a signal that someone might not have have gotten far in their individuation process. (Wouldn’t it be fun to have me as a friend?)

I’d given my new friend a neutral reaction re: the spring rolls; not agreeing or disagreeing. But this spring roll situation is a great example of two people (my friend and myself) both needing work on our “Individuation journey.” My friend was pushing boundaries assuming I disliked spring rolls too. And I wasn’t setting boundaries by speaking up and saying that I love them.

(That said, I could have perceived things entirely wrong. If I’d known her better, I would have asked for feedback.)

What’s my point?

The idea of individuation is one that informs every molecule of our lives.

Carl Jung theorized that at mid-life we (unconsciously) begin to individuate in earnest. (Since his time, we now believe that a newborn begins to individuate when she’s just out of the womb.)

I once had an instructor in my master’s class say, “When the toddler first says, ‘NO!’ The parents should throw a party!” because yelling “no!” is a sign of strong mental health; the little girl is coming along beautifully, right on schedule.

Gems from the Journal

Now would be a wonderful time to pull out your journal. Individuation is about wondering “do I have a life’s purpose? And what is it? Why am I here? And who am I if I weren’t Wilson’s mom and Alex’s wife? Who am I as a person outside of the larger culture? Are there parts of myself that I haven’t used/been in for years. How am I at setting boundaries?” (As they say, there’s a lot to unpack here.)

It’s as if you’re outlining yourself with a big, black marker defining who you are. Carl Jung “invented” individuation and he believed that in mid-life the urge to evolve as a person is at its strongest.

And – as you likely know –, a painful childhood may likely mean that individuation stalled along the way.

You can locate the right therapist who can be a mid-wife for your individuation process or you can let the ideas percolate in your mind and then journal-write, pouring it out on the page. There’s great wisdom inside of you and you can access it all through your pen.

As Jung put it, “The world will ask you who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.”

Pearl Two

Now let’s talk differentiation (having a solid sense of self in a relationship).

Michael Phelps won 28 Olympic medals and became the most decorated athlete in Olympic history.

But can you imagine being his wife? “What do you mean you’re hungry again?”

When we’re in the honeymoon stage of being a couple, there’s a lot of “we’re so alike. We both like Johnny Cash! And SNL!! He even loves pizza! I mean, what are the odds, right?”

However, once the good-times start slowing down and real-life returns, differentiation becomes a significant player in your relationship with your partner. Differentiation tells us, that “as a couple we can be apart for the day, I still love you even though you’re not standing in front me at the moment” (summary of a Michelle Obama interview).

And it’s absolutely part of differentiation to say, “I’m working on smart eating, so dinner is going to be a little different this year (it’s really “a forever” way of eating, but take your partner along slowly).

Differentiation asks, “how are you able to maintain your sense of self while still engaging in an intimate relationship with your partner?” Do you both need to love the same movies? If he golfs with buddies while you go to church, is that okay with you?

I use Michael Phelps as a stark example of a married couple not eating alike. Phelps and his wife of course had to eat differently than each other, it wasn’t even a question. She had her meal and he had his

In a perfect world each partner has been on a steady path towards their own “individuation” and when they come together, they’re able to be physically close, plan their future together; basically, engage well with one another in a respectful, appreciative, curious and caring way. Always keeping their partner in mind, but also asserting themselves into the equation.

Bahahahaha!!

Had you for a second there, didn’t I?!

Let’s be real, you and I don’t live in Unicorn-Land. We live in the real world where partners have no idea what the word “differentiating” even means. But here’s the cool news: you can individuate and differentiate with your partner on your own. Just pour it all out into your journal. Writing is the best form of therapy because it’s always there for you.

What does individuation and differentiation have to do with us? When we bring a more defined sense of self to the partnership, we better choices and tolerate less (excuse my French) BS. Just know that “individuation” lifelong process. You’re creating a better relationship with yourself and that’s a forever-exploration.

A healthy differentiation directly affects our smart eating lives. If you feel a pull to always eat the same food items together. If it somehow feels “wrong” to eat separately. IF you think things like, “but that isn’t a marriage if I don’t eat with him” you might want to journal-write about your basic assumptions of a partnership and how you “show up” as a person working on your own individuation.” ♥

Pearl Three

A sequence a week

Once you get accustomed to doing sequences, you can do them in your mind. But again I typed them out for eons. This sequence is roots are grounded in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) founded by Aaron Beck in the 60’s.

The Initial Sequence

• Situation: Grocery prices are high including produce.
• Thought: “I’ll never see my favorite foods again! How does smart eating even work if the food you love isn’t affordable?”
• Feeling: Angry.
• Action: Just tolerate what I can afford.
• Result: I’m living in an angry state of mind and perceive the grocery stores as as the “bad guy.”

The New Sequence

• Situation: Grocery prices are high including produce.
• Thought: I can adjust to our “new normal,” it’ll take time but I’ll get there. In the meantime I’ll search for ideas about how to bring costs down.
• Feeling: Proactive and like I’m taking care of myself.
• Action: I feel emboldened to search for solutions to the crazy prices, so I asked on a specific forum how they’re managing to keep the prices down. One person responded, “Do you know where an Asian market is by you?” Do I?! We live a stone’s throw from a huge Korean market. The responder suggested that I might like the produce prices in an Asian market better than at Kroger. Not sure that’s true, but I will report back.
• Result: I’m going to the Korean market this weekend! ♥

Pearl Four

Pearl four is an amazing book recommendation; not a review, just an awesome book I want to share

A few months back we read Whatever You Do, Don’t Run by Peter Allison and it apparently affected me because ever since i watch way too many “lions in the wild being a family” short-form videos. I wanted to share his next book with you and I was finishing the book I realizzed that I’d skipped too many sad animal stories. I think there was one sad story in his first book, but the secone, no, too many scenes that I don;t want in my head!

Bui they’re rather stories gentle stories — not for me — but you might be fine with that sort of content. If you are, his book is called Don’t Look Behind You. If you have a gentle heart for animals you might want to skip this one. But if you haven’t read his first, it’s really good.

Pearl Five

 
The mind can be both your greatest ally and worst enemy; you make it your strongest ally! ♥

anonymous.

Just a little housekeeping: I’m moving The Inspired Eater to either Mondays or Thursdays. Can you let me know in the comments below which day you’d? And thank you for doing that.!

♥ Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Hi Everyone,

I’m sorry these pearls are so late. I wrote two pearls and they just vanished. I will be getting IT work for sure.

Pearl One

I wrote early on about Brownies at Breakfast. When you and I transfer our nighttime sugar eating to having one dessert at breakfast with our coffee (always before 9 am), it’s a first step to slowly weaning ourselves off of sugar. (That said, if even a bite of chocolate triggers you into a week of overeating, clearly having a brownie at breakfast won’t work for you, for now.)

Sugar In the Morning

Here’s why I strongly encourage you to move desserts to the mornings.

1) By scheduling desserts in the morning we’re putting sugar into a time of day when few of us go berserko on desserts and overeat.

2) We’re helping ourselves “not feel cheated” because “everyone” is having desserts after dinner. We’ll have dessert too, but in the morning.

3) Our bodies don’t grip onto calories in the morning the way they do at night. I know this is a controversial idea, but those in the field of science are starting to take note, and it sure has worked in my life. I breakfast like king, lunch like a princess and eat dinner like a pauper (with light afternoon snacks).

Here’s the upshot: Because I developed the habit of moving dessert from the evening to the morning (which I took full advantage of in the beginning), actually helped me to eventually give up sugar entirely.

Again, the rules I created for myself: Eating desserts in the morning meant I had to be don’t with breakfast by 9 a.m. If I had a relatively light breakfast I would count that as two points. But if my breakfast was large, I calculated in four points. You can do the same equation if you’re counting calories. ♥

Pearl Two

I heard a guy on Instagram say, “Our brains are like a supercomputer. Our self-talk is the program. Our brains are always listening when we talk to ourselves.”

Pull out your journal and write to these prompts. When I wrote, I was quite surprised at some of the answers.

• I really love that I . . .
• I can always count on myself to. . .
• It’s taken time, but I’ve learned to be great at . . .
• Learning to manage . . . 
• I like that I learned how to . . .
• I’m tickled that I developed a habit of . . .
• Next write one word to each answer. For example, these were my six words.

I’m saying this stack to myself daily and it’s been especially supportive during tough moments when it seems like the blanket of negativity is descending. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

The Initial Sequence

• Situation (concrete): I’m scheduled for back surgery and was told that hardware will be put into my back.
• Thought (keep it to one sentence): I don’t want a Lego (my word) piece left in my back.
• Feeling (keep it to one or two words): Scared.
• Action: Frantically googled leaving hardware in body post-surgery.
• Results: I’m panicky and wound up. Hard time sleeping and so forth.

The New Sequence

• Situation (concrete): I’m scheduled for back surgery and was told that hardware will be put into my back.
• Chosen Thought: I think I can learn to tolerate hardware inside of me. I can do hard things. I remind myself that “the hardware is my friend” and my surgeon, Dr. Heller, is a superstar surgeon at Emory.
• Feeling (keep it to one or two words): Calmer.
• Action: I don’t run around like a lunatic and get dramatic about the upcoming surgery.
• Result: Best back surgery ever. I was in so much pain. And in 2016 Heller fixed it totally! Here we are eight years later, and I haven’t heard a peep out of my back.

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

The Anthropcene Reviewed by John Green. This a non-fiction book-dessert; the essays range from Diet Dr. Pepper to Our Capacity for Wonder. Really interesting. The reader can tell that Green had fun with this book. Nice book dessert.

Pearl Five

Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”– Angela Duckworth ♥

If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, I would love it if you’d share with a friend.

Have a wonderful long-weekend!

♥ Wendy

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Learning how to NOT light-up at a plate of donuts is merely a step to be learned.

A hello and welcome to our new thrivers!! You’ll get the most from the Inspired Eater site if you first read “Aunt Bea.” If you didn’t receive her, just shout! Wendy@theInspiredEater.com. The other essential read is Begin Here. I send out a post every Friday with five “pearls” that solely focuses on women losing weight after 50, 60, 70, and 80+. (“I’ve received a handful of emails from women in their 80’s! One told me that it never ends.”)

Hello to all the Thrivers who’ve taken my words and brought them to life. Putting everything within this website into play is impressive.

Pearl One

As you can probably guess, I lost 55-pounds before the new weight loss medications came out, but let me be upfront: back in the day, I would have been one of the first in line for a med if I’d had the bucks. Same goes for surgery. I’ll add that I was terrified of side-effects. No, not scared of side-effects like a responsible adult would be; I was scared of ouchies in any form.

Surgeries are fine too, but the two I’ve known to have surgery weren’t taught how to maintain their loss and ended up overeating eventually making the surgery null.

The conversation about maintenance – what I call “preservation” – is rarely discussed because nobody really knows how to maintain. I think at most they’ve studied maintenance a year to five years after a participant in a study loses the original weight, but they haven’t gone beyond that.

The only news on the maintenance-front comes down to studies like this one: “in a meta-analysis of 29 long-term weight loss studies, more than half of the lost weight was regained within two years, and by five years more than 80% of lost weight was regained.” (Study here.)

My theory is that to create a successful “forever-loss” for ourselves we essentially need to transform how we engage with food.

The bottom line is that you and I both know how to lose weight, we’ve done it many times throughout the decades. What we really need to learn is how to create a forever-loss.

Can it be done? One new habit at a time, yes. The post I’m linking here talks about giving up sugar, but the method works for any new habit you want to create: pearl one.

I will post more about how-to survive the first difficult days of creating a new habit starting with next week. ♥

Pearl Two

I’ve talked about this reframe before, but if you’re anything like me you need a friendly reminder. This is one of the most powerful reframes that I’ve used 24/7/365. You know how smart eating takes like twenty-five thousand micro-steps? All of the driving and picking up of smart groceries at five different grocery stores; all the measuring, chopping, baking; all of the inevitable swerves into a margarita and chips that “ruined everything” (it didn’t); or into Ben & Jerry’s and everything has “gone wrong” (it hasn’t) while navigating smart eating is supremely difficult? To almost be impossible?

Back when I began my weight loss in earnest – after my “moment of clarity” – I well-knew the massive effort involved with losing and then preserving a forever-loss. It dawned on me one day to call everything involved with weight loss and keeping it off my part-time job.

And bam! a simple title changed everything. What had been annoying jobs squeezed into the cracks of my day, became a supportable part of my life. I can report that there was far less whining and complaining on my part.

When I called it a part-time job, I’d elevated this trek we’re on – losing and preserving after age 50 — from being “a nice thing to do” to one of my highest priorities in life. ♥

Pearl Three

A sequence every week

A sequence from my life:

• Situation (something concrete): my sister and I figured out how to facetime each other so that I can visit with my mom online (new readers: my mom is in the middle stages of Alzheimer’s and both she and my sister live in Tucson. I’m in Atlanta).
• Thought: Fun at first, but then I realized after a moment or two that she didn’t recognize me. Shelby took us on a tour of our mom’s memory care home which I hadn’t yet seen.
• Feeling: So incredibly sad.
• Action: My eyes started to well up in tears. At my tears Shelby started crying. Then we both cry-talked for a minute, then said our goodbyes.
• Result: It was late, I went to sleep feeling down.

New sequence with a chosen thought:

• Situation (something concrete): my sister and I figured out how to facetime each other so that I can visit with my mom online (new readers: my mom is in the middle stages of Alzheimer’s and both she and my sister live in Tucson. I’m in Atlanta).
• Chosen Thought: I’m into wild lions and I watch cute lion-family videos. I don’t watch the gory stuff. After I’d talked to my mom the next morning I wondered, “What happens to old male lions”? Same question for the old females. Trust me, don’t google it). There really is a cycle of life to every creature and while the early and middles of life might be fine, the endings are not always pretty. Everything that’s happening with my parents is just life being life.
• Feeling: Call me crazy, but I feel so much better. By her standards, my mom had a very successful life. Now that she’s at the end of her life, she’s dealing with the difficulty of the dying process that we all go through.
• Action: I plan to Facetime a lot more with my mom and without crying at the end of our talk and upsetting my sister.
• Result: I feel like I’ve had a boost in my emotional-evolution. Children grow into adults and parents pass on (like Jerry Seinfeld says, “They’re here to replace us.”). Dying is just how life works. With that thought I feel better.
• I’ll still well-up in tears when talking with my mom, but the lions helped me feel a little more comforted; a little less anguished. ♥

Pearl Four

Pearl four is an amazing book recommendation; not a review, just an awesome book I want to share

I needed to quickly dip into this book for another reason, but as I read I was pulled back into this amazing story.

The author, a Harvard-trained neuroscientist, had a stroke at the age of thirty-seven. She was just getting out of bed one morning when the stroke hit.

From her background as a scientist, Jill meta-watched her brain deteriorate in real-rime. My Stroke of Insight a brain scientist’s personal journey by Jill Bolte is excellent. (Her Ted Talk is one of the highest rated.)

I’ve written about this book before, and it’s still hard to put down. I stayed up way too late last night reading. ♥

 

Pearl Five

When scientists analyze people who appear to have tremendous self-control, it turns out those individuals aren’t all that different from those who are struggling. Instead, “disciplined” people are better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self-control. In other words, they spend less time in tempting situations.” — James Clear ♥

Give your fur-kids a cuddle for me. My baby passed over two years ago. I’m adjusting, but sometimes it feels like I’ll be sad forever. Thank the Universe that human beings heal.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, I hope you’ll share it with a loved one.

Have a phenomenal weekend!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Pearl One

It’s Monday evening and you’re home alone. You’ve been losing weight at a great clip – always taking time off to “hold” and give your body time to adjust – but you know that your partner has cookies and cream in the back of the freezer.

And you want some.

I mean, it’s one bowl. No big deal, right?

And here’s what got me through difficult moments like this.

As I moved through my days, I saw making smart eating choices like I was working on a huge puzzle.

This is key I hope it makes sens. Let me know if it does or doesn’t Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

The largest pieces of our puzzle are these VIPs:

• Finding an eating plan you like so much you married it.
• Planning (with as much determination you can muster) your day, your week, your month.
• Developing strong smart eating habits that’ll have your back during tough days.
• Journaling (affordable therapy for every budget).
• Offensive living (noticing ahead of time where obstacles will present).
• Self-Talk (forever working towards being kind and supportive).

We keep the big puzzle in mind as we engage the medium pieces too.

A medium puzzle piece would be:

• Ordering awesome books to be your evening book dessert.
• You become one with carrying your cold-tote everywhere.
• You’re a fanatic about tracking the food you eat each day.

Small — but totally change-making — are the many small pieces that fit into the larger picture:

• When your granddaughter offers a bite of her donut and you say, “No thank you, honey.”
• When giant muffins (cake) walk into your meeting, sit as far away as possible and have the banana in your purse or eat from your cold-tote instead.
• When you have a really nice salad waiting in the fridge for lunch, but there’s cold pizza in the drawer too. With the big picture front and center you choose to sit down with the salad (if you’re still wanting pizza after the salad reach for cottage cheese, yogurt or an apple with a small amount of peanut butter).

We won’t have a place for the medium and small pieces to go unless we first put in the larger pieces. Can you see how vital each piece is? Each level of puzzle piece — large, medium and small — is vital to making the big picture work.

And what’s the name of the puzzle on the box? WHY? ♥

Pearl Two

I see it again and again; a self-help book will include “love yourself.”

What does “love yourself” even mean? Most of the advice ranges from “be more compassionate with yourself” – okay but how? — or to get yourself a pet. (I’m not making it up, a certain website suggested several silly ideas for developing self-love and one was “get a pet.” You know that I love animals – all animals, I’m not picky – but getting a new fur-kid doesn’t have much to do with developing self-love).

The term “self-love” doesn’t mean much to me, but self-respect, self-dignity and self-deep appreciation sure do.

My theory is that it’s our cavewoman who comes into the picture when we’re talking about self-respect. Quick review.

Our prefrontal brain:

• pays taxes on time and our cavewoman is the one who wants to drain the savings and fly to Hawaii.
• says, “I eat broccoli and brown rice — with a pinch of salt — every evening” while our cavewoman wants pizza, but will settle for a grilled cheese sandwich with extra fries.
• goes to get sleep early. The cavewoman wants to read a good book into the night (“just one more chapter!!”) and prefrontal is a zombie the next day.

Journal-write about your cavewoman so you get to know her better. Ask yourself strong questions like, “What do you think about loving and caring for your inner cavewoman? “How do you distinguish between your prefrontal and cavewoman?” What do you love, love, love about both?” “When is it the easiest to flip from a day of your prefrontal being charge versus your cavewoman who goes wild with food?” “If your prefrontal was sitting right in front of you, what would you ask her?” If your cavewoman was sitting with you, what would you ask her?”

The wisdom will flow through the pen onto your journal. Keyboards work too! ♥

Pearl Three

A sequence a week

Once you get accustomed to doing sequences, you can do them rapidly like I did this week. But again I typed them out for ages. This sequence is from my own life.

The Initial Sequence

Situation (something concrete): my favorite news podcasts kept revisiting a topic in current events. Initially I refused to listen and kept fast-forwarding the show, but they continued returning to it.

Thought: I thought that the topic was just awful and I did not want to hear about it anymore.

Feeling: Rage, disbelief and determination to stop listening.

Action: My heart started to race.

Result: I was snappish with other people (and with myself).

The New Sequence

Situation (something concrete): my favorite news podcasts kept revisiting a topic in current events. Initially I refused to listen and kept fast-forwarding the topic, but they continued returning to it.

Chosen thought: I don’t need this information, but the more exposure – through the media — this problem gets the better. It’s great that the news is giving it so much attention. People are learning and that’s only a great thing.

Feeling: I felt pleased to think people would hear the story and make change.

Action: Kept listening to the show (once they were off the negative topic).

Result: Listening to the podcast and cleaning the kitchen. ♥

Pearl Four

Pearl four is an amazing book recommendation; not a review, just an awesome book I want to share

Well, here we are at Pearl 4 again. Over the week I went through a stack and didn’t find one book that I deemed worthy of being called a book-dessert.

My next plan when I don’t find a book I can recommend is that I’ll keep a list of classics that I’ve read and loved. Let me know if there’s a particular classic you love in the comments below.

As a young adult, I loved the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. Since I loved the strip, I gave my boys their own beautiful set that I hope one day they’ll share with their kids.

Funny enough, I find reading a Calvin and Hobbes book to be extremely relaxing. It feels so good to go to sleep in a positive, happy mood. The strip veers from so funny to so wise. I’m going to read them again tonight.

Order some of the books from the library or buy the set I gave my sons: The Complete Calvin and Hobbes. ♥

Pearl Five

You were born to win, but to be a winner you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. Zig Ziglar ♥

My book is a great way to have all of the smart eating hacks in one place. Keep it in your kitchen for morning planning. The Inspired Eater: Fed Up!

And if you’re enjoying what you’re reading, I would love it if you’d share with a friend.

I hope you have a magical weekend!

♥ Wendy

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Pearl One

A very happy thriver wrote that she took off twenty-five pounds and I’ll let “L” tell you the rest:

Hello, again! I’m still an avid follower and love Fridays. I am so hooked on this lifestyle, although I live in fear that one day the weight will all come back-like overnight, ha ha! Can you send me the updated version of your book? I was thinking just yesterday that I need to check in with Aunt Bea again. Twenty-five pounds gone and it feels so good.

How amazing to hear that “L” – along with so many readers — is putting everything into action!

But my next thought? At this moment on the Smart Eating Path, being fearful is what we want. Being afraid of regaining the weight given our food-porn culture is the healthiest response to Big Fast-Food, Big-Food in the grocery stores and large-platters in the restaurants.  Maybe we’ve reached our preferred weight, but the world hasn’t changed; the “opportunity” to eat badly and in large amounts is still everywhere.

For about the first twelve years of maintenance/preservation, I had a strong sense of fear: what will preserving my loss look like this time? how will I handle wanting sugar every evening? what about when I’m grieving? and certain holidays are still so hard how will I deal with that? what about after a disappointing summer? and so on and so forth. I was “what-iffing” myself.

Turns out, being hyper-on-edge is our friend, at least until the planet makes significant changes. (It could happen, look what happened to the cigarette.)

I asked our thriver to pick which micro-skill helps her the most:

“The biggest habits I rely on are food-logging, weighing and measuring food, always have healthy food ready, the cold tote and eat before you go ( this really helps with all the junk my friends bring to game night and Bunco).  

This is so good to hear that our group is having success with the micro-habits (Cartwheel emoji, cartwheel emoji, cartwheel emoji!). Please send in minor, but pivotal successes, the hardest time when you overcame a difficulty or impressed a doctor. All treasured!! ♥

Pearl Two

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the damage Big Fast-Food does to those of us who want to choose our weight rather than being at the whim of external forces.

I’ve identified three forces (and will be adding a fourth).

1. Big Fast-Food: know it well because it’s in every square-foot of our lives. Develop the habit — using the sixty-six days study out of England — of never eating fast-food. If you have no choice like once a year and need food: go to Taco Bell and order one bean burrito “al fresco.”

Best way to eliminate fast-food: always carry a cold-tote full of attractive bites.

So today let’s talk Big Platter Restaurant food which is also everywhere. This habit was a tough one to put into place because I’d invariably show up at a restaurant a little bit too hungry. Not smart. The problem if you show up hungry of course is that you’re more likely to inhale the entire plate of food rather cutting the plate in half and putting it in a doggie to-go container.

If you don’t want to eat more than half of the plate and can’t take it home because you’re on a ship or something like it, in a pinch I’ll pour a ton of salt on the remaining food so I won’t pick at it.

But the biggest win for me, was to eat food on the way to the restaurant so that I didn’t arrive super hungry.  A one-quarter cup almonds, a sliced apple, a banana, or a yogurt cup is what I tend to use.

Sometimes I’ve stood at the fridge and eaten straight out of the cottage cheese container knowing the Mexican restaurant is like five seconds from our house. If the restaurant were further away, I would have taken a cold-tote. (I’m the only one who eat cottage cheese in our house.)

IF you don’t have small, healthy food that’s in your cold-tote, it’s a signal to you that you need to make having small bites on-hand more of a priority.

The whole idea is to make your eating-life a bit easier on yourself given this forever-trek we’re on. ♥

Pearl Three

A sequence every week

Original Sequence from My Own Life

Situation (something concrete): A dear friend was my plus-one on the cruise I took last November. (Our kids grew up together). We had a wonderful time and I thought we ‘d deepened our friendship in those seven days. But in the months following, I haven’t heard a peep.

Thought: What the heck? Had I snored too much on the ship?

Feeling: Bummed.

Action: I don’t reach out.

Result:  A friendship withers on the vine.

My Chosen New Thought

Situation (something concrete): A dear friend was my plus-one on the cruise I took last November. (Our kids grew up together). We had a wonderful time and I thought we ‘d deepened our friendship in those seven days. In the months following, I haven’t heard a peep.

Thought: When we went on the cruise my friend had only been at her brand-new teaching job for about three months. She’s a high school English teacher. and very graciously asked her new supervisor for the week off. And she’s super involved in a cat rescue group.

The woman is busy.

Feeling: I feel compassion for all she’s doing especially cat rescue.

Action: I remind myself that not everything is about me.

Result: I send her a “just let me know you’re alive” email.

Are you doing these sequences in your own life? Do you find them helpful? Not helpful? Wished you had learned in freshman year of high school, like me? ♥

Pearl Four

Pearl four is an amazing book recommendation; not a review, just an awesome book I want to share

Last month I featured Kate Atkinson’s incredible book Life After Life that I found just awesome. A quick rewind: We meet Ursula first as a baby. We watch her go through many lives before she completes a satisfying experience for her final life. I highly, highly recommend Life After Life.

A God in Ruins is Kate’s sequel to Life After Life.

The New Yorker wrote, “This follow [to Life After Life] tracks Ursula’s brother, Teddy, a favorite son who flies an RAF bomber during the Second World War and remains kind, thoughtful, and patient through a life of quiet sadness…Teddy, unlike his sister, lives only one life, but Atkinson’s deft handling of time, as she jumps from boyhood to old age and back, is impressive.” Haven’t finished, am loving. I leave it by my bed and I only read when I’m escaping the kitchen.”

So good, but long. Pairing these two books together over the summer make perfect book-desserts.

Pearl Five

“It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop.” ― Dieter F. Uchtdorf ♥

Remember, let me know if you bought the first version of the book The Inspired Eater: Fed Up! It looks like a book. I got rid of that crazy large font. Just email me: Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Pearl One

One takeaway from the Taylor Swift and Kelce Travis phenomenon, is that — politics aside — we can all take a page from their playbook.

The two are walking examples of what “Thinking Big” is all about.

Taylor was Thinking Big when she pleaded with her parents to move to Nashville. And Travis was Thinking Big when he aimed for the NFL and went on to become one of the greatest tight-ends in football history.

Travis continued to Think Big when he sent a bracelet with his phone number to Taylor’s “people.”

Who invented the idea of thinking big? My guess is that it came from the Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz which I highly recommend.

I became a travel writer using the idea behind the Magic of Thinking Big, I just hadn’t realized that it had a name.

Protect Yourself

Whenever you’re shooting for the stars, protect yourself by not telling the peanut gallery a thing. Same goes for Eeyores. If I’d asked a group of writers how to break into travel writing, I’m pretty confident that they would’ve laughed and said, “every writer on the planet wants to be a travel writer” and “good luck with that.”

Very disappointed, I would have thrown in the towel.

Sadly, the peanut gallery and the Eeyores are alive and well.

These are the folks who stomp on dreams and tell us that our plans are “pie in the sky.” Think about it: the peanuts and Eeyore have inadvertently told you about their mind-set, and have no idea what you can and can’t make happen.

One last Thinking Big tip: the secret sauce to bringing a BIG project to life is get comfortable with not knowing how the BIG project will unfold. Don’t feel like you have to have every single detail in place before you begin. You might tell yourself, “I don’t know how it’s going to happen, I only know that it’ll happen.” ♥

Pearl Two

I was watching Comediennes in Cars Getting Coffee with Jerry Seinfeld, and on the episode with Alec Baldwin, Alec asks Jerry, “your life is just one green light after another, isn’t it Jerry?”

It’s a joke meant to make us laugh and nothing more.

But look closer. Baldwin is saying that we’ve all had yellow and red lights. It’s a great joke to crack because we all “get it” that life is really hard. It’s so tempting to think, “She’s had it much easier than me.”

No.

It’s a good joke because we can all relate.

It’s just that the Baldwins and Seinfelds of the world, deal with the red lights of life differently from your average bear.

Gems from the Journal

When Life says, “no”, the successful might lick their wounds for a moment, but then they get back to it. Suggestion, write answers to these questions in your journal: what can I do to avoid getting hungry? What positive change can I make? How come I dislike tracking my food so much? Do I take my cold-tote with me? What’s one thing that’s going really well? What do I want to improve?

When we journal, we’re stepping outside of ourselves long enough to allow creative ideas to cascade into our pen.

I have my own struggle with food of late.

Let’s struggle together. ♥

Pearl Three

A sequence every week

A sequence from my life:

Situation: my sons are 21 year olds and have long heard us promote the idea, “get your degree, but live at home.” Yet they spend few hours at home in current times.

Thought: “What’s happening?? We had this whole love-fest thing going on.”

Feeling: Confused, angry, and very sad.

Action: What I once would have done: I’d head for the ice cream. I might have even bugged the boys, “what’s the matter? Why won’t you tell me?” “Come on, it’s me!! You remember me, right?”

Result:  let one bowl of ice cream spiral into days, weeks, months of living off the Smart Eating Path. Jeans are much too tight everything is headed downhill.

New sequence with a chosen thought:

Situation my sons are 21 year olds have long heard us promote the idea, “get your degree, but live at home.” Yet they spend few hours at home in current times.

My chosen thought: From my therapist brain, “the closer you are to them, the harder they’ll pull away.”   I remind myself that a lioness in the wild would never “baby” her full-grown lion-sons. Can you imagine a lion-mom navigating the Tanzania plains with her three sons; all adult male lions with those gorgeous, flowing manes?! For one, how would she ever become a grandma-lion?

Moms know: we’re working ourselves out job. Sad, but I get it.

Feeling:  I feel more settled like, “oh, okay. This makes sense.”

Action: Return to my book or writing project.

Result:  I’m getting my work done!

“Hakuna Matata!” ♥

Pearl Four

Pearl four is an amazing book recommendation; not a review, just an awesome book I want to share

In the late 90s, this book’s debut landed on everyone’s “best of” lists, including Oprah and her book club but it’s the book that kept me company as I healed from a surgery.  

The Poisonwood Bible by Alice Hoffman. The dad, an evangelical Baptist, takes his wife and four daughters where you’d expect a guy to take the gals: to the Congo to “homestead” (when the Congo was going through political strife which in real life actually ended well). The story is told by the five female characters: the mom opens the book and the daughters take it from there. Hoffman is lauded for how distinctly the daughter were drawn. I haven’t to this in audio, but I bet it’s good.

I should add: this isn’t a quick weekend-read, but this book-dessert could make the next two weeks fly by!! The Poisonwood Bible by Alice Hoffman. ♥

Pearl Five

“Lack of time is actually lack of priorities.”
– Tim Ferriss ♥

Life has been humming along just fine, but I’m disgruntled. I think it’s allergies. I take allergy meds from Kroger, but some days are just not fun.

Guess what? Remember that my book came out a few months ago? Well, I finally found the time to fix all of the problems: mainly the font-size was way too big.

Amazon sent me the changes, and now it looks like a real book!! If you bought one from me before, I’m happy to replace it with this better version! Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

For everyone else, I hope you’ll take a look: the Inspired Eater: Fed Up!

Have a great weekend!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

It might sound dramatic, but there are external forces who have no interest in our success.

Hi Everyone!

This week I’m knee-deep in New York City. (When I say yes to writing jobs, I tend to overlook how much research is involved.)

For that reason, pearl one and two are from the past but updated. I wrote both around the holidays one year, so pretend we’re in mid-November.

Pearl One

I bet you and I can score a dozen donuts, an incredible Thai meal and fifteen different flavors of high-caloric lattes within five to ten minutes tops (that in a blind taste-test our grandparents wouldn’t recognize as coffee).

Like me years ago, I know you’ve long thought, “I only have myself to blame.” And, you would be wrong. Not just a little wrong. I mean, wrong-wrong.

To lose weight in our food-saturated world we first need to understand the giants that we’re dealing with.

Let’s start today with Big Fast-Food. Take Starbucks and Papa Johns; the two are very different in presentation, but they’re both selling junk-food. No, I’m not saying that the entire fast-food industry is having special midnight-meetings about how they’ll fatten us up, but (funny enough) that’s been the result. (It would be as if cigarettes were everywhere, and we’re trying to quit.)

Take the season we’re currently in. Starbucks makes 100-million dollars in one season (according to Forbes) from the pumpkin spice so-called “craze” they created, and then marketed to us.

The Glue

I don’t care how cozy their shop is or what their clown is like, Big Fast-Food is not ofriend. Take this truism and write it on five stickies and post them in your kitchen, on your steering wheel, on your laptop, in your purse and on the bathroom mirror for starters. Be creative where you stick them. If you spend a lot of time in the laundry room, stick one on the dryer.

I’m not suggesting that we don’t play a key role in our own healthy weight, but I am saying that we can’t be long-game successful until we first understand what we’re dealing with.

But We Aren’t Victims

Big Fast-Food needs to evolve into selling good nutritious food. But nothing will really change if you and I insist on change You and I can vote with our feet. Chick-fil-A currently leads the way with their exceptional salads (hold the dressing).

Eliminate fast-food from your life. We can create a counter-force to the lure of fast-food by making it a habit to not use their product. ♥

Pearl Two

Let me first say that I’m guilty of this very activity I’m railing against here. Arriving home from running errands, I press the remote button and up my automatic garage door goes. I park inside, walk up the steps to my house, and close the garage door with another button on the wall.

And I see no one: no people walking by, no neighbors, not even the mail carrier. Nobody.

Even though we’ve lived in Atlanta for seven years, I’ve made one good friend. And she’s now moved to Orlando. I’ll visit her, but it’s not the same.

Point is, humans are social creatures. And given our upwardly mobile lifestyle, the preponderance of screens, and the loss of the front porch, our social needs are not being met. (Maybe Facebook is our way to reach out?)

Yes, we have online friends – and I’m not discounting online friendships for a second –, but we can’t gather around the fire pit, drink a cup of coffee together, and just being together.

Could this be One Reason Why?

Could it be that we’re social beings who don’t get our social needs met? Could it be that we have a giant hole in our hearts where at one time long chats IRL were the norm, people engaged with their neighbors regularly, and grandparents didn’t live a state away.

Are we trying to fill the hole with pretty clothes, jewelry, cars and the like?

Or in our case are we trying to fill the hole with food?

Join me in journal-writing about this topic: how do I get my social needs met? Go deep and try to give at least three examples. (You’ll be surprised at what surfaces.)

• In what way do I reach out to others?
• Conversely, how do I keep people at arm’s length?
• Am I super formal with others? Or more down-home?
• What’s one thing I could do this week to engage with someone?
• Am I watching too much Hulu and eating poorly because I’m lonely?
• How do I connect food with being lonely?

I have to add that I lost 55 and maintained for 18 years now, because I fixed my loneliness and then I lost all of the weight. That’s not how losing and preserving works, but it is a part of the trek we’re on.

 My grandma lived her entire life surrounded by seven siblings and their spouses, kids, her mother, and a few close friends she’d known for decades. Neither she nor my grandpa lived a consumer-lifestyle. Their social needs were met so they didn’t need a fancy car.

The days of neighbors strolling by our front porch and hanging out for a bit, are likely over, but lets start learning modern ways of filling our loneliness versus feeding it. ♥

Pearl Three

It’s our new “sequence” pearl! Please send a sequence from your own life and we’ll work it out on here, totally anonymously. I love hearing from you guys. Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

My sequence from this week:

Situation: (something concrete) I’m writing an article for Costco and it’s not going quickly like I thought it would.

My thought: “I went down too many rabbit holes over the weekend as I wrote the first part of the article. If I hadn’t done all that “rabbit-holing” last weekend. I’d be close to done by now.”

My feeling: annoyed with myself because of two whole wasted days.

My action: Bum around thinking “I’ve been caught out, I’m not really a writer at all!!” (Drama.)

My result: Haranguing myself saying, “another wasted day.” (Additionally, I have to rejigger my self-esteem problem and that takes up time too.)

My new sequence using my chosen thought:

Situation: (something concrete) I’m writing an article for Costco and it’s not going quickly like I thought it would.

Chosen thought: Yes, I go down rabbit holes to learn all I can before writing my article. I’ve learned a lot about the cities I’ve written about. I also need to gain background info for the article. Part of this writing articles going down rabbit holes to really understand as much as possible about what’s going on Christmas-market wise in NYC.

My feeling: Very pleased. I did learn a lot and writing is so much easier when you’ve done the research.

My action: Got back to it, but this time stayed more focused. In the end, I thought that losing myself on the internet was just part of writing, and it is, but I also brought a lack of focus that I need to work on.

My result: Written articles!!! ♥

Pearl Four

Pearl four is an amazing book recommendation; not a review, just an awesome book I want to share

Being completely transparent I went through several books that I thought would make phenomenal book-desserts, but not a one of them passed the test.  So I picked my three spectacular reads in 2024, so far.

Life after Life: a Novel by Kate Atkinson is a book-dessert of the highest caliber think: book version of tiramisu cheese cake (made by someone who wasn’t you). ♥

Awesome, awesome, awesome on the awesome-o-meter. One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot by Marianne Cronin is the book-dessert superstar fiction of 2024 (at least so far). ♥

Loved this book. Total Book-Dessert: I know that I’m probably one of the last on the planet to read this marvel of a story but I finally got to The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. ♥

Pearl Five

Humans are creatures of habit. If you quit when things get tough, it gets that much easier to quit the next time. On the other hand, if you force yourself to push through it, the grit begins to grow in you.” — Travis Bradberry ♥

Okey-doke, it’s back to NYC at Christmastime for me.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

There’s incredible wisdom we can glean from our future selves.

Hi Everyone,

Two pearls are a blast from the past because I put a little too much on my plate. I always assume a project will be easier than it is. Tell me I’m not the only one.

Let’s do this!

Pearl One

In 2013 after a decade of progressing symptoms, Linda Ronstadt was diagnosed initially with Parkinson’s, and finally with progressive supranuclear palsy, a rare degenerative condition. She’s now mostly on the couch.

In an interview Linda was asked, “What advice can you give others dealing with such difficulty?”

Without hesitation she answered, “Acceptance. You have to practice radical acceptance.”

Smart Eating and Acceptance

Many of us past menopause struggle to accept our after-50 bodies. Compared to when we were 16, 26, or even 36, staying lean when we’re over 50 is an entirely different chapter in life. How much we eat became an entirely new game. I’m mere months from age 60, but no matter how much weight I lose it appears as if I’ll always have a kangaroo pouch (I call my pouch a souvenir from my babies, although having a tummy might just be a part of the aging process whether we have kids or not.)

When I finally lost my weight (mid-30s to 42), I wouldn’t have known to use the word “acceptance,” but in retrospect that’s the mental process I ended up at.

I remember sitting in traffic one afternoon thinking, “I don’t care anymore whether I lose or not. If it’s the last thing I do, I will overhaul my eating habits. And what happens, happens.”

I stopped stepping on the scale every morning; I put it away and didn’t bring it with us on our big moves. Back then my mantra was: “it’s about smart eating habits, smart eating habits, smart eating habits.”

Saying “smart eating habits”, was like a drumbeat that rolled through my mind daily for many years. It’s yours now, wield its power wisely.

Before Acceptance

Before “acceptance” I used to come up with excuses galore.

Because no, the dryer didn’t shrink my jeans, my husband’s bad eating habits didn’t cause me to gain weight, and the holidays didn’t wreck my eating plan.

It was all on me. Acceptance means that I am in charge of what’s goes into mouth, period.

Before acceptance, my voice of denial said, “To begin with I don’t eat all that much, I don’t know why I have a potbelly. (Um, it was more like an extra-large-lasagna-pan of-belly, but whatever.)

Or, “I don’t eat that much, I wonder why I have bat wings like my third-grade teacher?”

Even, “It’s so unfair that I can’t have a couple of bowls of ice cream every evening like the rest of the world!!”

Ready for the Good News?

Our past doesn’t have the answers to accepting and navigating our smart eating lifestyle.

It’s our future-selves that have the wisdom.

Gems from Your Pen

I get it: communicating with our future-self for wisdom sounds odd, but you might be surprised at how incredibly help future-you is.

Ask future-you to write to today-you. It can be any “you” in your future: you in the summer, you in six months, even you in five years, grandma-you and so on. Allow future-you to come alive through the journaling process. Remind yourself that you’ll show this writing to nobody so it’s okay if you ramble, cry, or go off on tangents.

Merely thinking the answers to these prompts isn’t the same as writing out the answers. And, btw, that disdainful voice of negativity is your own self-sabotage voice talking. Ignore her. Tell the voice that you’re trying something new. Don’t allow that voice to take up square footage in your mind. She’s insidious and primed to annihilate what you’ve started, so always be on the lookout for her and send her packing.

I’m 59 so I wrote from my future 60-year-old self.

Write at least three responses to the following.

The “I” voice is future-you thanking past-you year for all you’ve done:

• Today I’m reaping the benefits for. . . 
• Love, love, love that you put so much time into . . .
• The three best habits you developed for me are . . .
• Awesome that you overcame . . .
• Thrilled that you . . .
• You really internalized . . .
• Somehow you knew that I would need . . .
• Because now I really feel . . .
• It would be easier for me today if you’d . . .
• I would love it if you’d . . .
• What I want you to know is . . .

When you shift from past-thinking to future-thinking, you begin to open to the many opportunities that will support you as you up-level your Smart Eating Lifestyle. ♥

Pearl Two

Wish me luck; I’ll take heat for this one.

I was never a worker-outer. I’m Team Napper.

For those of us trying to lose, working out doesn’t actually work.

Hear me out.

Say you swim like Michael Phelps (most decorated Olympian with twenty-eight medals), then yes, your caloric intake won’t have a prayer against your energy output.

Turns out, Phelps famously ate 8,000 to 10,000 calories (!!!) a day in his prime and still found it challenging to get enough food.

That said, muggles like you and me don’t work out like Phelps. Most of us take yoga classes or bike three miles, five times a week, call it good, and head to the nearest fridge. Even a long day of snow skiing doesn’t require the amount of calories Phelps needed to bring home the gold.

How a Sweaty Workout Does Do a Body Good

Here’s what I finally figured out: Working out for reasons other than weight control is vital for a healthy body and state of mind especially when we’re on the other side of menopause. For example:

• Taking a long walk to get my sweet German shepherd his needed exercise: smart for me and River.
• Working out for endorphins to feel high without the side effects of drugs: brilliant.
• Getting sweaty to keep my heart fit and – hopefully – avoid the dementia that has long swept like wildfire throughout my family: again, brilliant.

But working out to help me lose weight?

No, never happened.

And scientists are just now catching on to what we’ve long suspected: lowering our food intake is really the only path to successful weight loss especially after age 50.

The Important Basics I Needed to Lose Fifty-Five

One

Committing to a great eating plan — I call it a structure — turned out to be critical for long-term success. I’ve used the Weight Watchers original point system since 1997, but there’s no particular magic to WW. Any healthy eating plan works if it makes the most sense for your life and if you can imagine using it.

Also vital: keep a pretty tracker with a pen next to your fridge to track what goes into your mouth daily. Studies are firm: those who document what they eat, are the most successful. And remember, “pretty” matters. No keeping track on old envelopes or the back of receipts. A spiral notebook is best. The spiral part makes it easier to record your eating. You also want to keep track so that you can go back in time and see what’s worked and what hasn’t worked.

Two

As I lost weight, I focused only on establishing rock star eating habits:

First I committed to my eating structure (WW) and only after my WW habits were solidly established did I create a strong habit of intermittent fasting for 14 to 16 hours each day. Specifically I stop eating by 6:30 p.m.

My thought: attempting to create too many habits at once is a recipe for failure. One fully installed positive habit is way better than five squishy habits.

Three

I used my favorite study to extinguish my evening sugar habit (what do you mean there’s no confetti?). The first two weeks were rough — no fib — but by week three, sugar was in my rear-view. Details on how I eliminated sugar here.

How long does it take to establish smart habits like tracking your daily intake? My favorite study out of England says that it takes us 66-days to establish a habit that becomes like second nature. (Published in 2009 in the European Journal of Social Psychology.)

Why I Did Not Do Hard Workouts while Losing

Other than long walks with my River (GSD), I didn’t add workouts to my day until I’d maintained my weight loss for years. Only then did I add yoga and Pilates, and finally stumbled onto my forever workout activity that I love (recumbent trike-riding). Updated on 8-28-22: I might know how to lose/maintain weight after 50, but I’m still a fawn on wobbly legs when it comes to working out. I’m learning that doing different types of working out is the best for mind and body.

Okay, I’m ready to take the heat for this post. Tell me what you think. Does working out help your weight loss or send you on the hunt for a hot fudge sundae? ♥

Pearl Three

It’s our new “sequence” pearl! Please send in you’re a sequence from your own life and we’ll to my email Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

My Original Sequence

The situation: the deck outside of my kitchen is on its last legs. My
husband’s foot stepped on a board and created a hole. I invited four deck-
builders to see the deck and give me their estimate.

Thought: OMG, decks are expensive!

Feeling: Blue.

Action: I whine and complain about the cost involved.

Result: Family members are actively avoiding my  Eeyore-attitude.

Now, the New Sequence

The situation: the deck outside of my kitchen is on its last legs. My husband’s
foot stepped on a

board and created a hole. I invited four deck- builders to see the deck and
give me their estimate.

Chosen Thought: We need a new deck and we have companies in our community
that can rebuild our deck in time for spring! I like having coffee on the deck.
If I’m really still the birds will come to the deck for food.

Feeling: Excited.

Action: Now I’m wondering when we’ll have the tear-down.

Result: Feeling a sense of satisfaction that one important “to-do” is off my
list.

Our th

Pearl Four

Pearl four is an amazing book recommendation; not a review, just an awesome book I want to share

At the beginning Such a Fun Age a debut novel by Kiley Reid had a chick lit vibe to it and I almost tossed it, but thankfully I didn’t.

A super absorbing story that you can read in a weekend. (I don’t want to write about it and accidentally give spoilers. I didn’t see the twists coming.)

Totally worth your time. ♥

Pearls Five

. “Every problem is a gift – without problems we would not grow.” – Tony Robbins ♥

I love writing about travel. Right now I’m knee-deep in San Francisco. Next it’s New York, Chicago, and Boston.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Pearl One

Last week my husband came home from Costco with huge boxes of:

• Caramel s’mores (milk chocolate, caramel marshmallows and graham crackers)
• Girl Scout thin mints bites (“crispy center with mint and dark chocolate”)
• Girl Scout thin mint pretzels): crunchy pretzels double dipped in mint flavored 100-percent real dark chocolate.

So, you see my problem.

I know that many of you have a scarfer of your very own and want to learn how to lose after-age-50 and preserve forever even with a scarfer underfoot.

In the beginning of my weight loss and forever-preservation, I’d assumed that my scarfer would happily come along for the ride because he wanted to start eating better too. It would be so fun to do this “smart eating” thing together. I’d hoped we’d work together cheering each other on.

That was a massive fail.

So I headed out on my own trek. I did all the things like: ask him to hide the treats well so that they weren’t always in front of me, Eat Before I Eat, you know the basics.

But losing weight with a plan of forever means looking inside. The therapy world calls it “individuation” and knowing about it and working with it were pivotal to my own loss.

You know how teenage girls in cliques want to be like each other: “OMG! I have same purse!” Being part of a group is super important to teens.

As we mature, over time we individuate: we start identifying specifically who we are distinctly from mom and dad, sister, the kids in high school and so forth.

Individuation happens throughout our lives, but knowing about the idea and how to work with it are key to a successful loss.

Here’s what I mean.

Journal-write about what makes you you. Go for it! Write about what you love, and what you don’t care about. Write about what gets you really excited and what leaves you bored. Ask yourself questions like how do I talk to myself? Do I have my own back?  What happens inside if my feelings get hurt? What happens inside when I’m angry? When I’m bored? When I’m grieving?

What makes you distinct from your sister? Your coworkers? Your husband?

Just write and write and write and let your unconscious speak.

Being able to define who you are without your partner is a critical part of living with a scarfer.

Pearl Two

There’s no end game to losing and maintaining after 50. We have today, this hour, this minute to make our smart eating choices.

Because you and I will forever be beautiful works in progress.

I try to remember this thought throughout my day. Let’s remember it together. ♥

Pearl Three

It’s our new “sequence” pearl! Please send in your sequence to my email Wendy@theInspiredEater.com

Original Sequence

• Situation: (something concrete) Dad died last August in his sleep.
• Thought: What?! He wasn’t even sick! Now I won’t be able to say good-bye.
• Feeling:  Extremely sad.
• Action: Ice cream of course.
• Result: Try to get work done but give up and scroll Instagram.

My New Sequence

• Situation: (something concrete) Dad died last August in his sleep.
• Thought (that I’ve purposely chosen): Dad was in his own bed next to Mom, and died peacefully in his sleep. A beautiful way to pass.
• Feeling: I’m so happy for dad. (No endless hospital visits and medications etc.)
• Action: I return to what I’m doing in my own life.
• Result: I’m meeting deadlines, but we always grieve.

Do you see how the “new sequence” can go in about a billion different direction? Please send me your situations and I can sequence it and use as an example – totally anonymous of course!! ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

Holy-guacamole. I just read the best book. It’s scary, but in a good way. The author was an African safari guy for eons and tells many stories in an hilarious, next door neighbor kind of way. Every chapter has a very big story. The book starts off with a bang and ends beautifully. Highly, highly recommend. (Unless you’re one of my sons. If you are,  this is a terrible book, why not play in the sponge beds? That’s where I would play.)

Whatever You Do Don’t Run: True Tails of a Botswana Safari Guide by Peter Allison. I just realized that he wrote a sequel Don’t Look Behind You. I’m ordering it right now. (Excellent. Highly recommend.) ♥

Pearl Five

Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision. Visions don’t change, they are only refined. Plans rarely stay the same, and are scrapped or adjusted as needed. Be stubborn about the vision, but flexible with your plan. – John C. Maxwell ♥

I LOVE hearing from you guys!!!

Have a wonderful weekend All!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

What takes you out of boredom and to your happy place?

Hello Thrivers!

I don’t think I’ve fully realized until this morning how a simple question doesn’t always have a simple answer.

Today’s pearls one and two are perfect examples. For the first time I bunched two pearls together and you’ll soon see why. I could have written a book on this topic.

Pearl One & Pearl Two

From a Thriver: My problem is when I go away from home. Everything is so controlled at home, but when I go to my children’s houses with food and goodies everywhere I become a hungry crazy woman. Leaving for one of their houses for a week and I don’t want to get off track. I have the best intentions and plans until I get there and then I’m eating ice cream or small packages of Oreos!

I think part of the problem in addition to the food in the house, is that I’m not in my routine so boredom sets in and of course boredom eating. I gained four pounds-however as soon as I got back home and into my routine. My note: this is a grandma who taking care of her grand kids who don’t live in the same town together.

This is an awesome email because so many of us understand the problem of kids and calories automatically arriving together.

Congratulations, B, on maintaining a “controlled” home. That’s huge all on its own.

Today we’re looking at how to travel and be far from your own kitchen, yet not go Cookie Monster on yourself.

Probably the most significant mind-shift any human being can ever make is to shift from an external locus of control to an internal one.

An example:

Let’s say you’re at a bash. It’s New Year’s Eve and the champagne is flowing.

A partier with an external locus of control might think: “I have one-year sobriety with AA, but it’s – come on – New Year’s and everyone is holding a flute. Just one won’t be a problem.”

But another person with an internal locus of control will tell herself, “After the year I’ve had devoted to staying clean and sober, there’s no way I’m drinking tonight.”

The internal locus is essentially about keeping your own council; not going with the herd; blazing your own trail.

I’ve mentioned that I’m a freelance travel writer and I’ve been asked whether I’m “good” or “bad” on cruises or trips in general.  

It’s a perfectly valid question, but it harkens back to the yo-yo dieting of old. Living the Smart Eating Lifestyle is about strengthening habits or weakening them. We’re watching ourselves from a meta-view and making corrections as we go. So, I take my habit’s with me no matter where I am.

It’s a foundational mind-shift to take yourself from “I’m externally motivated” to “When it comes to eating, I have an internal locus of control.”

The Planning Mind-Set

If you haven’t yet become friends with food-planning, let me introduce you to her. I’d be nowhere today without her constant support.

Take a look at the micro-steps I use before and during trips. There’s an “after” too, but we’ll save it for the next pearls.

A week in advance of a trip, I plan on my laptop where I’m likely to find obstacles and – after giving it a lot of thought — how I will deal with each challenge. I write it all out.

So, B: you might write “when my grandson is out with friends, I don’t have much to do and get bored.” Plan exactly what you’ll do in each boredom situation you identify. Remember, you’re not trying to lose weight on your grand kid trips, you’re maintaining/preserving.

I plan down to the detail like, “it’s a five-hour drive to the grand kids. On the way over, I’ll eat a sliced-up apple and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from my cold-tote. To be safe, I’ll bring two peanut butter sandwiches and a baggie of baby carrots too.” Then I plan when I’ll eat each on the car-ride. Usually having one food item every hour keeps me in a good place hunger-wise.

This is a critical part of your planning. I also plan one fun-food that I’ll have each day. It could be a margarita at dinner when you eat at a Mexican or getting a fancy coffee drink in the mornings. Whatever the special food is, it needs to be written into your plan every single day.

Re: “but when I go to my children’s houses with food and goodies everywhere I become a hungry crazy woman. I’m hungry with the kids and I get bored because I’m out of routine from home.”

Boredom and/or being tired are both like monsters from a Stephen King horror book. Don’t take the two lightly. Not having a solid plan for boredom takes me down every time.

Plan a list of what’s fun for you. I take tennis shoes so that I can walk, I listen to playlists I made in advance, I might sign up for Netflix or Hulu for just for the week. (Only don’t forget to unsubscribe once you’re back home.)

I make sure that I have a lot of my favorite foods within easy reach. I shop in advance or sometimes at the destination, but either way, I shop for the food I LOVE.

I also always bring my food tracking notebook and track my eating, just like I do at home.

But the key to making anything work is don’t let yourself get hungry. Ever.

One More Mind-Shift

This is definitely meant for journal time. We could ask ourselves this question for the rest of our lives.

Journal-write to the question: “why?”

Why in the world are you on this trek at all? And why now? Ask yourself to write answers to why? at least three times or more.

In response you might write:

Why? Well of course I want to reach my preferred weight. I don’t want to get lectures from my doctor anymore. And I want the best health I can manage to have.

Another might say, “Because I want to be included in family activities, I want to be a fun grandma. Not the worrying-about-how-gross-she-feels-in-a-bathing-suit grandma, I want to feel good in my own skin.”

Still another might say, “Because I was lonely as a kid, and I wished my grandma had had more energy. I just seemed to tire her out.”

Your brain is watching you. Every time you use smart planning and strong mind-sets. Your brain sees when you sees what you’re doing and thinks, “wow, she’s really serious about this losing weight thing.” ♥

Pearl Three

In March I’m keeping pearl three for something fun that I want to share

Last week a thriver sent in a tasty idea for a crunchy (high-fiber, low calorie) snack:

Set your oven at 400 degrees.

Drain a can of garbanzo beans, and pat them dry with a paper towel. Place them on a cookie sheet using parchment paper. The garbanzo beans need to lay flat, and not on top of each other.

Spray the beans with olive oil. Let them bake in the oven for 20 minutes: pull the beans out and sprinkle with garlic and smoked paprika powder. Back into the oven they go for 10 minutes.

These spices work well too: Ranch, cinnamon and sugar, rosemary and chili powder. Thanks to Pound Dropper.com and the wonderful thriver who sent this tasty (MS) idea in!

I’m a cruncher; I love most anything when there’s a crunch. My review: so good! Especially with ranch. ♥

Pearl Four

So, here’s the thing. I had two books I thought would be awesome enough to be called a book-dessert, but when I tried to get interested in each one, they both fell flat.

So, I’m suggesting the book that I’m suggesting today is top-notch based solely on reviews.

About this book Stephen King said, “I would defy anyone to read the first seven pages of this book and not finish it.” John Grisham said, “It’s been a long time since I turned pages as fast as I did with American Dirt.”

The book was an Oprah Book Club pick and on Amazon it’s received 4.5 stars from 165,094 people.

 American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins . ♥

Pearl Five

“Have a bias towards action – let’s see something happen now. You can break that big plan into small steps and take the first step right away.” – Indira Gandhi ♥

I know what I’m doing this weekend: reading American Dirt. Have a great weekend Everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥