We customize our lips: I wear a pink lip. You’ve always looked awesome in red.

Hello Thrivers!

I emailed a friend, “I’m pet sitting alone this weekend (two darling snickerdoodles).

She wrote back, “ALONE?!! Heaven, pure heaven.”

She gets it. (Most of us do.) ♥

Pearl One

I love my eating plan, but it’s different from the one you prefer.

I count old – I mean, really old — WW points, you count calories.

I journal-write on my laptop. Others swear that handwriting is far superior.

My triggers are cake or ice cream. Yours is chips and crackers.

I’m a library-fanatic. You love to buy books, underline your favorite passages, and keep your friends on the nearest shelf.

I light up when my smart-list reminds me that I have (homemade) whole-wheat banana muffins in the fridge. You’d rather have a cup of yogurt (especially sprinkled with a bit of Grape-Nuts for crunch).

Podcasts energize me. Podcasts put you to sleep.

I’m an early bird. You get the most done at night.

One size does not fit all. Make smart choices as you tweak your smart eating plan to make it better for your lifestyle. ♥

Pearl Two

I found the day-in and day-out, the decade-in and decade-out of being heavy to be seriously no fun. When I’d go to any event – like a day at the beach or a night of fireworks – I was focused the entire time on my jeans cutting me in half, and planning (silently in my mind) how I’d start a new diet on Monday; the second I got home, I peeled those jeans off and climbed into comfy jam-jams.

There was another part of being heavy that I detested; I showed up at every event or activity actually hungry or on the precipice of hunger.

I didn’t know about Eating Before You Eat. I thought that sticking to my eating plan meant being really hungry.

I hadn’t learned to pack my cold-tote and take it with me everywhere; I didn’t yet have the habit of always keeping a Cliff bar in my purse.

It didn’t occur to me that arriving somewhere hungry would wake up my cave woman who’d take immediate control and begin her search for the highest calories around.

I didn’t see the connect between hunger and a natural drive not to look for an apple, but to head for whatever “full-bodied” dessert I could get my hands on.

Nobody told me that – when away from home — a banana can fix everything. ♥

Pearl Three

Pearl Three’s topic of the month: revisiting Atomic Habits by James Clear

James writes in chapter two’s summary,

“There are three levels of change: outcome, changes, process change, and identity change. (Our goal is identity change. ‘I’m not a donut-eater. Even one leads to four.’)

The most effective way to change your habits is to focus not on what you want to achiever, but on who you wish to become. (‘I’m not someone who eats random food, I much prefer the smart food in my cold-tote.”)

Your identity emerges out of your habits. Every action is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. (I know that every time I dive into my cold-tote, I’m reinforcing the behavior.’)

Becoming the best version of yourself requires you to continuously edit your beliefs, and to upgrade and expand your identity. (‘I don’t even look twice at fast-food when I’m running errands, my cold-tote is becoming my best pal.’)

The real reason habits matter is not because they can get you better results (although they can do that), but because they can change your beliefs about yourself.” (‘Holy cow! I AM a person who uses her cold-tote for my highest good!’) ♥

Pearl Four

I love memoirs. I could joke and claim to be nosy, but reading memoirs really drives it home that I’m not alone in life with struggles, diagnoses, embarrassing moments, difficult family members and so on. And I love reading about how the hero or heroine triumphs in the end.

I came close to not sharing this book because it’s an extreme version of someone’s life.

It’s about a psycho stage mom in Southern California who made Gypsy Rose Lee’s mother look like Mrs. Brady. The mother turns our heroine into a Nickelodeon kid-star thereby ruining her daughter’s childhood. Jeanette spent her formative years making bucks and working like an adult on iCarly and Sam and Cat. (If you hadn’t heard of the shows, neither had I.)

The title – I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeannette McCurdy – sounds awful (or like parody), but when you read her story the title will make sense.

My review: a super absorbing read and once I was three or four chapters in, I put everything aside to finish this book. (Other favorite memoirs: Kevin Hart’s, Linda Ronstadt’s, Gabrielle Union’s, and Can’t Hurt Me, just for starters.) ♥

Pearl Five

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way as you select you clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control” — Elizabeth Gilbert ♥

If you haven’t yet read Aunt Bea, just shoot me an email: Wendy@WendyIrvineWriter.com! 🙂

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Okay, I’m down to the wire. If anyone tells you that writing a book is a breeze, they’re off their rocker.

So Easter is Sunday and my boys’ birthday is Monday. My minimalist-hairy man wants nothing, my the-more-the-better kid wants the birthday hoedowns that I produced when they were kids. Sheesh. ♥
 

Pearl One

It’s 1923, your family lives in New Mexico, and there’s no money for anything but food. Your mother has tasked you with cleaning the dirt-floor.

You use the broom, but couldn’t get it as clean as you wanted, so you pick up floor-clutter by hand.

Now it’s 2023 and you’ve tasked yourself with cleaning the floor.  If you’re one of the fortunate, you remind yourself that the cleaning crew arrives tomorrow.

Not that fortunate to have a house cleaner? Well, maybe you’re lucky enough to own a Roomba so you switch it on and let the darling go to work.

But, fresh out of cleaning crews or Roombas, you do have a wondrous cutting-edge vacuum cleaner. You turn that baby on and roar through each room leaving clean floors in your wake.

The right tools matter.

Attempting to lose weight – and protect your loss – after age 50 requires the right tools. You’re not part of a poor family living in a dirt house.You have the money to buy a cold-tote, amazing book-desserts, smart food that you love, beautiful measuring cups and spoons, gorgeous tableware (found for a song at a thrift store), new muffin pans if you need them and so on and so forth.

This is not the time to be stingy with yourself. Get the tools you need for this rigorous trek we’re making up the Matterhorn. ♥

Pearl Two  

It’s my belief that we live in the loneliest time in history. Not so long ago, we lived in groups. Human beings weren’t built to be loners living in cabins deep in the woods.

Today’s version of “a cabin deep in the woods”, is not leaving the house, Netflixing for hours, and making constant trips to the kitchen. I mean, we have friends. On Facebook. We stay engaged with life. On Instagram. We get amazing advice from others. Podcasts.

They’re calling it the Loneliness Pandemic and it was alive and well in our world long before Covid. Here’s my take: it wasn’t so long ago that we lived in tight knit groups like villages, and before villages, we lived within a band of cave people working together to stay safe and find food.

For all of the downsides of caveman-life, the upside was belonging.

The phenomenon of “it takes a village” came so clearly to me when my parents were first moving into their assisted living home.

As they were moving my dad in text said to me, “We come from a generation that try our best not to rely or depend on our kids or interfere with their lives as we grow older.”

I responded, “yeah, but think about it. All ages once lived together: grandparents, moms, dad, kids, babies. And everyone worked together. Maybe not your generation but the gazillions that came before your group.”

At the time my sister and aunt were working hard to help my parents and I was trying to point out that family helps family without saying, “Stop being so proud and take the help!”

But – per usual – I agree with me. Our culture is lonely. That elderly man on Monday who wanted to chat about cantaloupe at the grocery store? He lives alone and hadn’t spoken with anyone all weekend.

The 50-something year old woman who shows up at the dog park every day like clockwork? The outing with her dog is the one time she sits down and has long chats with anyone IRL.

And from long ago, I remember Lucille Ball talking about being on a plane and looking down at the zillion of tiny homes below thinking, “Any one of those houses would welcome me in with a red carpet, and yet – I’m paraphrasing – “I don’t have one person who really knows me to go home to.”

So, you know how I recently wrote about the Perfect Storm of Weight Gain being the result of a food-porn culture, the powerful diet-cartel, along with our own wobbly self-esteem? Well, we can add a fourth storm to the mix: the age of loneliness in which we currently find ourselves.

This is my point: we buy the coolest looking car, purchase a gorgeous home that sits on a hill, pack our wardrobes in the prettiest of clothes and we still know exactly what Lucille Ball was talking about.

I’m not suggesting that if you take your therapy dog into the children’s home every week your eating and weight problems will dissolve. You’ll never hear this sort of thing from me.

That said, if we’re feeling crushed under the tonnage of loneliness the brownie fudge ice cream in the freezer will continue to call our name every evening.

Consciously write in your journal about how you’ll begin — in detail — to make it a habit to increase how deeply and often you engage with others. ♥

Pearl Three

In April we’ll take a deep dive into Atomic Habits by Mr. James Clear. Today we’re looking at – one of my favorites because duh — The Law of Least Effort.

James Clear writes, “Energy is precious, and the brain is wired to conserve it whenever possible. It is human nature to follow the Law of Least Effort, which states that when deciding between two similar options, people will naturally gravitate toward the option that requires the least amount of work.*  Out of all the possible actions we could take, the one that is realized is the one that delivers the most value for the least effort. We are motivated to do what is easy.

*James says in the asterisk, “This is a foundational principle in physics, where it is known as the Principle of Least Action. It states that the path followed between any two points will always be the path requiring the least energy. This simple principle underpins the laws of the universe.”

My point: if you bring home the Ho-Hos and place them in an easy-to-reach cupboard, the principle of Least Action tells us that no doubt what you’ll do next.

However, when the Ho-Hos first hop into your grocery cart, just throw them like a major league pitcher back onto the shelf, and then the Ho-Hos won’t make it into your home.

Because you have no intention of driving to the store to hunt down the Ho-Hos, you end up having the cut strawberries — already in the fridge — with a whipped cream hat for dessert,

You see, the Law of Least Effort loves us and wants us to be happy. ♥

Pearl Four

They say that this woman was a badass, but the word barely touches who Virginia Hill was to the world.

Her story, A Woman of No Importance the Untold Story of the American Spy Who Helped Win World War II by Sonia Purnell left me absolutely floored.

This book falls into the historical non-fiction genre and the author knocks it out of the park having researched and written the book in such a way that you can almost feel the Gestapo just steps behind Virginia as she flees France.

Due to this book I will never again say, “but I caaaaaan’t, my foot hurts” or “I’m too tired to do such-and-such.” Yes, we need to honor the challenges in our own lives, but the woman didn’t even receive certain medals once the war was won. Her opinion was, to paraphrase, “none of us did any of it for medals.”

This book will make you proud to be a woman and bonus: you’ll look at your own problems in a new light. ♥

Pearl Five

“We must remember. There is no easy way.” – Ryan Holiday ♥

Have a wonderful weekend, All!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

This breathtaking wreath is from the 5-star Etsy shop called TwoInpsireYou.

Hello Thrivers,

First, have you read the Aunt Bea booklet? You’ll find her to your right in the box under my circle bio. She should land in your email, but sometimes she prefers spam. If you lost her, just say: Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll shoot her right over!

I hope these pearls find you immersed in beautiful spring weather.

Pearl One

May I talk you down from the Easter candy?

Only if it makes good sense?

Got it.

One of the ways those of us addicted to chocolate cake con ourselves into overeating is by claiming the holiday presents a “once a year” experience.

Thing is, we have access to Easter candy year-round. Here’s what I mean.

This is new in our lifetime, but the candy giants mold grocery store candy into adorable shapes at every holiday. For example, Reese’s Pieces (Easter Eggs Mini Carton), Twizzlers (small red bunnies), Butterfingers (Nesteggs), Starburst (jelly beans), Tootsie Roll (eggs), and so forth. Nothing new.

Same flavor all year long but now Easter-shaped (soon to be Halloween-, December-, and Valentine-shaped too).

So, don’t let you deceive you!! Throughout the holiday weekend continue to ask yourself: do I want to be a size 10 or do I want to inhale calories all weekend? Keep this question handy; it will always have your back.

A tip for this beautiful holiday. There’s more to Easter than eating. There are stunning floral displays (both nature and woman-created) to behold; there’s squealing children to squeal with (not to mention too-cool-for-school teens who stash their attitudes for the day to hunt Easter eggs; some maybe filled with cash); and there are church services to attend. However you celebrate the holiday, stuffing ourselves has nothing to do with honoring this special weekend.

One more tip for the next three days: ask yourself how you want to feel come Monday morning. Do you want Monday-you to bound out of bed having eaten well and worked out? Or. . . do you want Monday-you slightly peeved?

It’s our choice. Join me in doing the former. ♥

Pearl Two

I hear you. This pearl has nothing to do with weight loss. And yet, it sooo does, here’s why.

I’m the last to say that being happy is the magical elixir that sees the weight falling off. Forever, I’ve had ecstatic experiences in life, but have never lost weight because of it.hat said, it’s somewhat easier to lose if we’re, in fact, feeling pretty good about life.

Here’s one way that more than fills my happy cup: TrustedHouseSitters.com.

Want to travel but the hotel prices are – cough-cough-choke – way outside your survival zone (hmmm, healthcare for the year or a night at the Hyatt?), then take a look at this beautiful deal.

(Note: I’ve written about these guys before, but I’ll always put the word out before summer especially.)

Here’s how it works.

1 – To begin, this is not a “swap houses deal.” You don’t swap anything.

2 – Go to the TrustedHouseSitters.com site and click “find a house sit.” When it asks “where do you want to go?” just type in the city, state or country you want to visit. The site is headquartered in England, but has housesitting opportunities – mainly pet sitting opportunities – all over the world.

Take Paris, France. Let’s say that a Paris apartment-dweller needs someone to care for her kitty for a month when she goes to Italy, so you send her your House Sitter profile detailing how wonderful you are, and our Paris apartment dweller and you connect through email, the phone, maybe a Zoom call and so forth.

She needs to assure herself you’re wonderful, and you have to make sure that when she says “cats” she doesn’t mean 17.

The Paris apartment dweller gets free babysitting for her kitties, and you get to stay for free in the dweller’s apartment for as long as she’s gone.

Isn’t that brilliant?! As I type there are five active opportunities in Hawaii. Several in Honolulu. One on Hilo and so forth. There are several more housesitting opportunities in Hawaii without hard dates because the various home owners want to get to know you before they commit to travel.

3 – I pet sat for a family in Virginia going through TrustedHouseSitters and it was one of the best experiences of my life. So, so, fun. I stayed in a gorgeous five bedroom/four bath home for free and I had two darling dogs and two kitties to keep me company. I loved it.

So, if you want to travel without demolishing your bank account, you might give Trusted House Sitters a go! ♥

Full disclosure: I’m an affiliate with Trusted House Sitters and will make a commission from your click. That said, I’d rave about Trusted House Sitters from the highest mountain top money or no money. If a company doesn’t bring their A-game to our lives, I won’t write about them. Period. End of story.

Pearl Three

In April we’re talking: “Let’s live differently!” And of course nothing good or great can happen until we first learn to think differently.

Have you heard about skinny-fat people? Welp, I’m pretty sure that’s me. I definitely have the losing weight and maintenance part down.

But I’m not exactly fit, I’m thin. To look at me, you’d think oh, she’s healthy. But inside you’d find that I’m a like a marshmallow that’s been roasted over the fire for s’mores. All mushy and dripping goo.

So here’s my latest fitness attempt: I’m trying HIIT. If I understand the HIIT program correctly – and that’s up for debate – I’m supposed to work out three days a week on my indoor bike. The idea is that I should ride about a minute to warm-up and then ride moderately (level five) for 20 to 30 minutes only interrupted by “riding up a hill” when I push the levels up to a nine for 20 seconds.

I’m supposed to “ride uphill” three different times.

Here’s why my attention was grabbed. By the time my twins were three-years-old I had the best arm muscles of my life. I’m not kidding, Thrivers, they were something.

And it’s not like I lifted the babies as you would a dumbbell. I never pumped the babies up and down and up and down for thirty reps.

Do you see my point? I’d pick one baby up and put him in his highchair, bath, crib, or whatever. All day long.

So the idea of moderate, moderate, HARD!! moderate, moderate, HARD!! speaks to me. Read more about HIIT here.

And if you’re sold on the HIIT program, I hope you’ll share in the comment section below. I believe so strongly in supporting each other as we trek losing after 50. ♥

Pearl Four

Our food slot! Over the last few years I’ve learned to talk to myself rather than listen to the perpetually frightened cave woman inside me.

Which brings me to “fuel-food.” It took time – everything of value does – but I slowly embedded into my thinking that 95 percent of the time the food I eat needs to be real food and not s’mores, Easter candy, or ice cream. (Or even wacko amounts of real food like lasagna, pizza, or enchiladas.

You and I both know the difference between “fun-food” and “fuel-food” Ask yourself this question two or three time a day: am I pursuing fuel for my body or fun for my mouth? ♥

Pearl Five

To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art.” 17th century French author François de Rochefoucald ♥

The challenge for the holiday weekend: stick to your Smart Eating Path and get in a solid thirty minute walk, bike ride, run or whatever most calls to you.

Here’s my fitness plan:

• Today, 4-15 – I’m riding my indoor bike using the HIIT plan. Total: Twenty minutes.

• Saturday, 4-16 – I’m riding outside on my recumbent trike. Total: Likely about an hour.

• Sunday, 4-15 – I’m taking a long walk. (Thirty to forty minutes.)

Like most of us, I get bored easily so doing different work outs each day really makes a difference. Also, if you’re wondering, I lift arm weights and do stomach work each day on my bedroom floor.

Have a wonderful weekend, Thrivers!!

Make it a sweaty one!!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Q and A day!

And on that note, if you’d like to ask a question about how I reined in my eating to be answered in a September/October post, please ask in the comment section below! (All names will be changed.)

A reader says:

My husband is an eater and doesn’t care that he’s heavy. It’s hard to eat well around him. I end up having what he’s having.

He ruins my eating plans entirely.

Anne-nonymous

Dear Anne,

This was my problem in spades when I first decided to lose for good.

I call my husband The Scarfer (a nickname that would horrify me, but he finds hilarious).

Turns out my sweet husband has “food insecurity” (his term) from kid-hood. At times, there wasn’t enough food on hand for a family of seven, and he learned young to eat as much as possible when the opportunity presented.

But I didn’t know this back in the day. All I knew was that I’d married a devoted eater. One day, it occurred to me that I had to separate my eating issues from my husband’s — or I would always be at a weight that didn’t feel good to me.

In therapy-land, my aha moment is called “individuation.” Meaning I realized that I needed to establish in my own mind that I was a separate person entirely from my husband and his tendency to eat a dessert or three every evening.

Look at it this way: say your partner prefers to get up every morning at four. Or smokes. Or runs ten miles every other day. In all of these examples would you join him or her?

No way, right?

You can see the individuation with more extreme examples (up early, smokes, runs ten). Now apply that thinking to your own relationship.

The Art of the Friendly Request

Once I fully embedded my aha moment into my very being, I could then make smart, kind requests of him like:

• Could you put the Entenmann’s cupcakes in the far back of the top cupboard where I can’t see or reach them? (Perk of aging: If it’s not in front of me, my memory is wiped.)

• “If you want to make something for the kids on the weekends: could you make pancakes instead of waffles?”

• “Can you not buy Chunky Monkey or Rocky Road? But by all means, get the kind you love!”

Thinking Outside of the Brownie Box

When you’ve embedded that to live happily ever after, you must separate your eating from your partner’s, then the “how to live with an eater” ideas burble to the surface. For example:

• A coworker’s wife insists that he keeps his junk food at work — and out of their kitchen — and he happily complies.

• I eat very light at dinner. I’ll either make a salad or eat what the family’s eating, but I keep the portion small. (Note: the latter is only after twenty years of practice. You might want to stick with the salad for now.) Is it more time-consuming to make a salad for myself? Totally. And that’s okay. Nothing about losing after 50 is a breeze. Plus bonus: family members have gotten more involved in cooking! I know!!

• I tend to go to sleep early before the dessert extravaganza erupts in our kitchen (two young men-children plus The Scarfer).

The thing is, my husband has seen the eating changes I’ve made through the years, and has had his own success in eliminating some porn-foods like chips from our grocery list. He’s somewhat living an intermittent fasting lifestyle, and has lost twenty. But through the years, I never said one word.

His food anxiety. His body. His decisions.

I have my own eating issues and they’re different from his (noting the difference — learning to make peace with difference — is part of individuating).

We all engage with food differently: for many, food is love, for others a fun distraction from boredom, and others a habit entrenched when we were young.

In the end, I had to change how I related to meals and snacks with my husband in my life. My days of joining him in this were over.

I was never hostile or naggy or “disappointed in him.” I was simply firm, but smiley: “no donuts for me,” “I don’t eat ice cream anymore,” “if I eat pizza it’ll be at breakfast.” Note how often I use “me” or “I.” I don’t say, “You shouldn’t eat donuts!” I say, “No donuts for me!)

There’s no end game to losing and maintaining after 50. We have today, this hour, this minute to make our smart eating choices.

Because you and I will forever be beautiful works in progress.

I try to remember this thought throughout my day. Let’s remember it together.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥