Getting back to the basics of what’s most important in life.

Pearl One

I love Dave Ramsey. He pops up on my Instagram feed once or twice a week and I’ve saved bucks just watching his little reels saying how “dumb” we are for getting ourselves into various financial pickles. And I love his “seven baby steps” for a better financial future. I often think that learning how to navigate money is a lot like taking the steps to shift our perspective on food.

So, I created ten baby steps for a lifetime weight loss. These steps are for brand-new readers plus old-hands who can always use a refresher (especially me).

One

Whether you want to lose or maintain your loss, begin to shift your whole world onto the Smart Eating Path by first reading Atomic Habits by James Clear and the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Take your time reading each book and plan to return to these two gems regularly for years to come. What I do:  I took notes in my journal as I read both books pretending that I’m prepping to give a talk on the subject of habits.

Two

Clean your kitchen, your home, your life of food-porn (same as sweeping the house of alcohol if you struggle with drinking). If you know you can’t resist, you won’t. Clean out your car too. If you live with people who “need” their cookies, candy and chips ask them sweetly to please put their treats in the highest cupboard where you can’t see them. Also ask that they put their ice cream in a brown bag on the freezer’s first shelf and towards the back so that it too can’t be seen easily either.

Three

Choose your eating plan by selecting one that works well for your lifestyle like the Mediterranean diet, no gluten food, or WW’s plan and so forth. Plan to stick with your eating structure don’t switch it up every year or two like the diet cartel does. If the cartel is making big, giant “reveals” of their latest food push, it’s for the health of their bottom line not ours.

Four

Put a pretty spiral-bound notebook with a working pen next to your fridge. In this notebook you’ll track what you eat each time you eat. You’ll also include a number like calories or points. You need something to count to know that you’re eating within a reasonable food limit.

Five

Eat on your chosen food plan using the “royal” eating plan: eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a princess and dinner like a pauper. Healthy snacks like an apple or a yogurt cup are great for keeping our inner cavewoman out of our eating life. For the deets on this way of eating, read Brownies for Breakfast.

Six

Plan to stop eating around six o’clock at night. Turn off the kitchen light and leave for bed “early.” Have an amazing book-dessert next to your bed and around seven or eight o’clock take a soothing shower, jump into clean and beautiful jams and settle in to read for as much as two hours before lights out. If you’re a regular reader you already know two hours can fly when you’re reading a great book. A few titles here to get you started and see pearl four for more.

Seven

Develop the habit of always taking along a cold-tote packed in healthy, appealing bites. The idea is to curb your hunger so that you never run errands or shop hungry again. I use this cold-tote. Originally I tried a designer tote, but it was too small to be useful.

Eight

Always “eat before you eat.” A small peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a banana, or a small smoothie act as your best pal in helping you make smart decisions as you eat lunch or dinner. (This goes triple if you’re dining out.)

Nine

Buy a beautiful spiral bound notebook like this gorgeous girl here and plan to use it as a daily writing journal. I’ll give writing prompts in pearl two every week. And thank you to a thriver for this brilliant idea!!

Ten

Call dealing with the many details of what you’re doing — losing and lifetime maintaining — your part-time job. This one mind shift alone took me from complaining about the tasks involved to becoming a fully committed and engaged participant in my own smart eating life. I like to say, “just follow my cake crumbs.”

The key to weight loss/maintenance isn’t about being perfect. It’s about getting back onto the horse again and again self-understanding, and finding what truly works for your lifestyle. If I can turn a lifetime of struggle into lasting success, so can you. ♥

Pearl Two

Writing prompts for your journal:

• Describe the moment you realized losing weight would be harder than you imagined. What emotions came up? If it’s been too long and you can’t remember write about how you approached weight loss when you were younger.
• Write about the mental battles you face when you’re working to develop new smart eating habits.
• Write about a “setback” day (weekend or month) and how it felt. What did you learn from it?
• How do you navigate consistency? Perfectionism?
• How do you keep yourself motivated when results “plateau” or slow down. (Remember I call it “holding.” When I was losing, I saw “holding” as critical because it gives our body the necessary time to get used to the new weight normal.)
• Write a letter to someone who’s struggling to lose weight, offering encouragement based on your experience. Then send it to me! I’d love to hear what you’re particularly good at and what’s challenging. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (be very matter-of-fact): Denise’s, 58, routine medical tests revealed early signs of a serious heart condition and her doctor has asked her to make lifestyle changes and take medication.
• Knee-jerk thought: there’s no way I’ll give up my running and strength training. And I’m not into drugs.
• Feeling: Irritated, surprised.
• Action: Denise continues her routine: every other day she runs ten miles. On the opposite days she lifts weights.
• Result: she ignores the doctor’s advice. She’s healthy, no way is she going on a med. And curtailing her hobby of working out is just insane.

In real-life you’d do bridge sequences before getting to the Chosen Sequence.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (be very matter-of-fact): Denise, 58, routine medical tests revealed early signs of a serious heart condition and her doctor has asked her to make lifestyle changes and take medication.
• Chosen thought: “Deep breath. I can do this. I’ve never forgotten Jim Fixx and how he died while running at the age of 52. But Fixx had heart disease in his family. We have some in our family too, but at a milder level.”
  Feeling: surprised and perplexed (isn’t working out supposed to a good thing?)
• Action: She starts doing a lot of daily research, talking to relatives and decides to reduce her workouts by fifty percent.
• Result: She takes her medical tests again and passes in flying colors. ♥

Pearl Four

I’m sharing my favorite memoirs today: The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, Educated: a memoir by Tara Westover, Becoming by Michelle Obama, and Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance. I highly recommend each of these five-star, book-dessert reads. But if you need to laugh check out one of my favorite memoirs:  Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman by Lisa Scottoline (Lisa explains that it rhymes with fettuccine). All of her nonfictions are hilarious. ♥

Pearl Five

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” —Jim Rohn ♥

Enjoy the last days of August! And if you enjoyed this post, please send it to a friend!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Do you have a smart written plan for navigating disappointment?

Pearl One

I’m revisiting this post because I’ve internalized the story and I hope you will too. It’s a good one.

Did you know that Lisa Kudrow was rejected after a Saturday Night Live audition in 1990?

I’m just guessing, but Lisa likely auditioned for SNL, praying, hoping, and crossing every finger that she’d landed the job.

Then she got the call.

It wasn’t good. I’m guessing she went a little numb at first. She likely cried for the first day or two. I’m sure she was angry. Maybe she took in a movie to get her mind off that phone call, and in the evenings possibly had one or two glasses of wine with her ice cream.

“I remember being super disappointed,” Lisa told Vanity Fair, “because I thought, ‘maybe you’re one of those people for whom good things don’t happen.’”

I’m betting her negative self-talk finally turned into “I am one of those people for whom wonderful things happen!”

Four years after the failed SNL audition, Kudro introduced our planet to Phoebe Buffay.

My Point

Champions like Lisa Kudro — and the long list of SNL rejects, including John Mulaney, Tim Roberts, John Cusack, Rachel Bloom, Cameron Diaz, Geena Davis, Kevin Hart, Mindy Kaling, Ellie Kemper, Jim Carrey, and many more are especially skilled at not giving up on themselves. Each person likely felt awful for weeks after getting the call, but they dug in their heels and returned to the grueling climb up their mountainside.

As you go forward keep Lisa’s story close to your heart. There will be awful disappoints: How we handle the sad times is always up to us. ♥

Pearl Two

Our writing prompts for your journal

Given Lisa’s trek, write about you own

• If Lisa was “super disappointed” after the SNL phone call, how do you guess she managed to audition for Friends (four years later)?
• What are your triggers to hop off the smart eating path?
• How do you rally when you’ve felt “crushed”?
• Why don’t you just give up on smart eating? What propels you forward?
• What prominent person in our culture inspires you? And why?
• How does it sit with you to actually write up a plan — more like a contract with yourself — about how you’ll handle your various ways of nosediving off the Smart Eating Path. (Everyone nosedives, the question: what the plan for giving yourself a plan.

When a strong question is asked in front of a pad of paper and a pen (that works), the gems appear. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (be concrete): Marianne is 52. Her doctor suggested a depression med. Her kids are in college.
• Initial thought: She had long thought that meds were a cop-out and never saw herself taking them.
• Feeling: She feels stuck and incapable of positive movement.
• Action: Marianne immerses herself in berating her body, missing her “babies” and ruminating on her “pathetic life.”
• Result: Rinse and repeat.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (be concrete): Marianne is 52. Her doctor suggested a depression med. Her kids are in college.
• Chosen thought: I researched the depression meds and I might go for it. She tells herself that the kids being grown and on their own is a good thing and she encourages herself to be the best mom of young adults as possible.
• Feeling: She feels contemplative, and a little excited to move into this new chapter in life.
• Action: She contacts a nearby hospital to ask if the NICU could use a volunteer to “baby-rocker.” Along with baby-rocking Marianne found a nearby dance studio that has special classes for those who only want a great workout versus becoming a professional dancer. Her husband joins her.
• Result: Loving the dancing she and her husband have a new kind of fun together. ♥

Pearl Four

Our book-dessert pearl

I have a book for you today that I read about ten years ago. A friend learned English by watching I Love Lucy every day. (She grew up in India with English, but wanted to fit in with the U.S. way of speaking.) This is great book-dessert. Ball of Fire: The Tumultuous Life and Comic Art of Lucille Ball by Stefan Kanfer. A great and funny read when you want a book about a great and funny woman. ♥

Pearl Five

If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don’t want.” – Kevin Ngo ♥

If you enjoyed this post, I’d love it if you’d share it with your doctors, surgeons, and nurses. They appreciate info. they can pass onto their patients who are struggling with weight management. Thanks for spreading the word!

Enjoy the last days of August!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Life happens. Plan for it to go your way.

Pearl One

Hello everyone!

We have new thrivers onboard and welcome! If you haven’t yet read “Begin Here”, I encourage you to. It’s the kind of info. that helps these posts make a lot more sense! The following pearls are partially from older pearls.

Pearl One

Some of us read every word of these posts—and I really love it when you point out typos! Really—while others read one post here and another there. But here’s the thing: by not reading 90 percent of this blog, you’re missing the full impact of how I was able to lose 55 lbs. and, 19 years later, maintain the loss.

As you know, losing weight after 50 and creating a forever-loss equals important mind-shifts, habits and tools. But if someone asked me right, but if you could only pick three important themes, what would they be?

I would pick these guys:

One — An excellent example of why I’ve been successful

As you know, there’s so much involved in losing weight. Sweeping the kitchen of calories, asking housemates to please eat junk food out of the house (said with a gentle smile), buying the right foods (and gear like an air fryer) to make the trek a smidge more doable, is all a crazy amount of work.

So, when I began thinking of losing weight after 50 as “a part-time job,” it gave me much-needed room to breathe. I wasn’t trying to cram my new Smart Eating Lifestyle into every spare nook and cranny of my life anymore (and getting super frustrated in the process). Instead, with that “part-time job” mindset, I found the space to open up windows of time that helped me set myself up for success. Once I was into maintenance-mode, I called it my hobby.

2. I don’t let myself get hungry

Could there be a more important strategy? You and I have a habit with hunger and it’s not a good one. Allowing ourselves to get overly hungry is the direct route to messing up our smart eating plans.

And I’m not only talking about famished-hunger, I’m talking about the kind of hunger that presents itself after a meal when we think, “a handful of peanut M&Ms sure sounds tasty.”

Which was me last night.

And after these many years, the cave woman part of my brain suggested this very handful of candy just last night.

It wasn’t ten or twenty years ago.

It was last night.

Before I started to vacuum up the calories, I realized what was happening — I was still merely hungry — and had a small bowl of cereal. Disaster averted.

My M&M craving? Gone.

Bottom line: nobody makes smart food choices when she’s hungry.

My default live life with your cold-tote — packed in smart food – by your side. Always Eat Before You Eat. And never, ever return home hungry.

3. I Plan and Plan and Plan.

I highly recommend planing your food and snacks for the day ievery morning.

Let’s say that my calendar shows that I have a snoozer of a meeting today, a meeting that invariably includes a pink box of donuts. That said, I plan for it. What can I plan to eat ten minutes before the meeting? During the meeting and after? A lot of us just sit through the boring meeting hungry and when it’s over we might grab a donut on way out. No. In the morning take time to plan out your eating day. –

Here’s the game plan: we want to increase our planning muscle those “donut moments.” It’s about, “just ask whoever’s bringing the donuts to please stop. The goal is to enter the meeting and not think about the donuts at all..

Losing and maintaining after fifty is no picnic, but using the right tools? We’re on our way. ♥

Pearl Two

Our journal writing prompts.

• Explain the one habit or rule you stick to no matter what, even when traveling or on vacation.
• Write about what you do in the first five minutes before overeating. how do you react? what would be at better response.
• Share how thinking of weight loss as a “part-time job” changes the way you approach it day to day.
• Talk about the foods you always make sure to have in your grocery cart and why they matter.
• Describe how eating before you’re truly hungry changes your ability to make good food choices.
• Explain the ways you plan ahead to make life easier for your “future tired self.”
• Share how you changed your mindset about exercise so it became something you could stick with long term.
• Describe how you organize your kitchen so it supports your weight-loss and maintenance goals.
• Explain why you plan more than you think you need to and how that prevents slip-ups. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (be concrete, just the facts): In college, Jill lost fifty-five pounds, but after three babies she gained it back plus five.
• Knee-jerk thought: Why have I let this happen? What is my problem? Why can’t I get it together like everyone else?
• Feeling: She feels disgusted with herself.
• Action: Jill tells herself that she’s “fat and ugly ten times a day.”
• Result: She returns to the land of the ultra-processed.

Chosen Sequence

Situation (be concrete, just the facts): In college, Jill lost fifty-five pounds, but after three babies she gained it back plus five.

Chosen thought: Hey, with every baby comes weight gain (congratulations, you’ re normal. I’m going to look at my weight as a souvenir from my darling peanuts.*

Feeling: warm and mushy about my peanuts

Action: I started researching what new weight loss methods are out there. and I started the trek. Result: Jill’s down ten pounds and likes this new idea of “holding” for at least a month, giving her body time to get used the “new normal.” ♥

Pearl Four

If you’re a fan of Erik Larson (The Splendid and the Vile; Isaac’s Storm), then you’ll really enjoy the Spy and the Traitor: The Greatest Espionage Story of the Cold War by Ben Macintyre. (I hear you. A spy book? Not for me. What else have you got?

But this true story is oddly compelling and reads like fiction. The author must have done years of research amount  of research; the author keeps the s. It’s about a Russian highly-ranked KGB spy carefully indicates to the MI6 know that he’s ready and willing. As you can guess, MI6 was ecstatic.

I wasn’t paying attention to the Cold War during the 1970s and 1980s. I love when a book teaches me something new and tells a great story. Funny that I recommend this book now just as Trump meet with Putin. Mere coincidence. If you need a stay up too late reading, This is your book-dessert. ♥

Pearl Five

The mouth obeys poorly when the heart murmurs.” — Voltaire ♥

I would be so grateful if you’d leave a comment in the comment section below. In fact question: besides food, what soothes you when you’re feeling low?

Have a beautiful August week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

It’s simple. We weren’t given the right information.

Hi All!

The Scarfer complained this morning about the summer rain we’ve been having in Atlanta (suburb outside of ATL). We’re both from CA where the summers get brown and dry. And the fires aren’t far behind. But out here on the East Coast, Georgia and Florida there’s rain all summer long so nothing gets brown and dry.

Let’s talk maintenance/preservation!

Pearl One

Back in the day, food was my frenemy. Just out of college, in my early twenties, every Friday night you’d see me ordering a pizza and plopping on my couch and eating as many slices as I wanted without having to look at someone looking at me. I saw food as something “to go on” or “go off.” Weekends were made for overeating (a lot of dumb food) and Monday mornings were made for starting a new diet. “Being good” during the week meant being very strict with what I ate. The strictness inevitably lead to “going back onto food.”

If I was being completely conscious about it (and I wasn’t) I’d assumed back then that maintenance was something just for the lucky few. If I lost through a company like WW or from a diet book, I never once noticed someone explaining the in’s and out’s of maintenance/preservation.

In the last century, we all just danced around the ginormous elephant in the room. Maintenance didn’t get airtime. Either nobody had figured out how to maintain or they weren’t willing to part with the information.

Here’s what nobody was telling us about a lifetime weight loss. It’s only partially about eating right. It’s really about an entire lifestyle transformation.

So, if weight loss is based on “fixing” problem-you, it won’t last. When I was still struggling with my weight, I’d get down to a weight I was fine with, but in my mind I would still see myself as the “before” version. Even though I’d made it to a successful number, I couldn’t maintain my loss because my mind hadn’t transformed with my body.

Eventually we all default to who we believe we are. Tell yourself amazing things about you. Here’s some examples of what to tell yourself.

• “I’m losing weight and I’m breathing energy into my body.”
• “I’m open to working with my mind as I continue to lose/preserve my loss.”
• “I love and accept my body at 150 (then 145, and 140) pounds.”
• “I can do this.” 
• “I know that maintaining brings it’s own special obstacles.”
• “I know that I need to establish the identity of being ‘a smart eater.’”
• “It takes time to embed such a important habits.”
• “I can do it. I’ve got this.”

Your Main Takeaway

Whether you’re an old-hand with maintenance, but are having hard days or are brand new to maintenance/preservation, create a new plan for yourself every morning. Then imagine yourself connected by an umbilical cord to your morning plan. The cord ties you to what you most want most in life.

Do I think all the work to transform my eating lifestyle was worth it? I promise you, one thousand times yes. Over the years I made small shifts and lost weight slowly (I didn’t want to alert my cavewoman) and in the long run, set future-me up for size 8 clothes today. Worth every annoying obstacle. ♥

Pearl Two

The writing prompt pearl

Write about a day when weight maintenance felt effortless — and a day when it didn’t.

What are the most surprising things you’ve discovered about yourself since keeping the weight off?

Reflect on how your self-identity had to shift in order to maintain.

What routines or rituals keep you grounded in your Smart Eating lifestyle?

Write about how your relationship with food and how internal thoughts help you stay on track — and which ones derail you?

Describe the emotional difference between being in “weight loss mode” and “maintenance mode.”

What do you tell yourself when you feel like giving up?

Write about a time you overate and didn’t spiral — what helped you handle it differently?

What does “self-compassion” look like in your maintenance journey?How do you deal with fear of regain? Be honest.Do you ever feel invisible now that the praise for losing weight has faded?

What’s your plan when you feel off track? What mindset helps you rebound when your habits slip?

Write about how you’ve learned to course correct without panic/drama.

How do you respond when the scale goes up a few pounds? ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

Automatic Sequence:

• Situation (be concrete): Ellen, 62, scrolling through Instagram sees a post from her daughter-in-law saying, “Breaking the cycle. Refusing to repeat the patterns I grew up around. Healing begins here.”
• Knee-jerk thought: Ellen never expected to be painted as the villain. Ellen knows, she can feel it in her chest: the post is about her.
• Feeling: Her first instinct is confusion. Then sadness. Then, if she’s honest? A quiet rage.
• Action: She fires off an angry email (but waits to send it).
• Result: She tries to stop thinking about the post, but it nudges her every so often. Nothing improves other than she’s left very hurt.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (be concrete): Ellen, 62, scrolling through Instagram sees a post from her daughter-in-law saying, “Breaking the cycle. Refusing to repeat the patterns I grew up around. Healing begins here.”
• Chosen Thought: Okay, a little surprising, but I need to slow my roll because in the past I’ve overreacted. I’m chilling, I’m chilling. I’m chilling.
• Feeling: I’m keeping myself in neutral. I feel open to new information. This is part of the parenting gig I signed up for. I’m here for it.
• Action: She’s always found hot showers soothing — even though it’s the afternoon — she takes a long shower, puts on her jams early and gets into bed with a great book. She’s getting better at self-care!
• Result: She knows that she can gently ask about the post one day or stay mum and get on with life. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love and want us to be happy

I have a phenomenal, short memoir for you: Wild Ride: A Memoir of I.V. Drips and Rocket Ships by Hayley Arceneaux. This young woman’s experience with cancer at a young age is inspirational and will take you to the moon. Highly recommend reading the author’s debut book. Perfect book-dessert. ♥

Pearl Five

Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”— Louise L. Hay ♥

If you enjoyed this post, I’d love it if you’d send it to your doctors, surgeons, and nurses. They appreciate info. they can pass onto their patients who are struggling with weight management. Thanks for spreading the word!

Yes, it’s still raining and everything is still green.

Have a beautiful August week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Pearl One

You’ve done the hard work. You lost the weight. You made it stick but now, in maintenance mode, you’re running on empty — and willpower alone just isn’t cutting it. Willpower fatigue is real.

In the past nobody talked about the elephant in the room — maintenance — because if one regains all the lost weight we ended up blaming ourself. Plus, nobody makes money by teaching the masses how to maintain. The only real push we got from the diet culture of old was to “be stronger,” but white-knuckling for eternity leads to burnout and nowheresville.

Here’s the truth: you don’t need more grit, more grind, or more “just say no.” What you and I need are new strategies — ones that actually work. Habits. Without them we’re like a car that doesn’t know the rules of the road. Embedded strong smart eating habits will have our backs every time.

The eating plan you originally chose will now act as the frame for your life. I essentially live on my eating plan and deviate here and there. A two-pound weight window is not enough, I encourage a four-pound weight window to keep your weight within.

Let’s talk about what really sustains a forever-maintenance after age fifty. When I lost all of my weight by my early forties, I had no idea how to maintain, I only knew those pounds weren’t coming back. Like Taylor says, “We Are Never Getting Back Together. Like, ever.”

Roll these three concepts into your maintenance life.

Number one: Build a strong maintenance go-to attitude and strengthen that attitude every chance you get, say to yourself: no way, no how am I gaining back my lost weight. Not on my watch. Hell, no and the like. And just know that working daily on what we tell ourselves is a forever thing. Nineteen years into maintenance I still hear myself say, no ma’am, that’s not for you. I live in Georgia.

Number two: Appreciate your Bambie-legs. You know how a baby grows in the mom for nine months? Well, we’ll call the pregnancy part: you and I losing the weight. Once the baby hits the light of day and the umbilical cord is cut, the baby begins her new life and that’s you and I beginning our forever-maintenance trek. Do you see that the birth is the beginning for the baby and it’s the beginning of a lifetime of maintenance

Number three: Embrace all of your feelings. Yes, you can take your moment of happiness at getting to your goal weight, but once you’re done celebrating, allow plenty of room for the inevitable fear that sets in. It’s normal to be freaked out about how to maintain because nobody told us how to maintain in our food-porn world. Food is at the center of almost everything we do. I once noted that food isn’t at church or the dog park. Everywhere else: food galore. Even the library keeps a well-stocked vending machine. Food-porn. It’s everywhere.

Maintenance isn’t just a phase — it’s a whole new life. It takes a fierce mindset, daily self-talk, and kindness for those Bambi-legged moments. Remind yourself often: Not on my watch. You’ve done the hard part—now it’s time to grow strong in your forever-trek, one steady step at a time. ♥

Pearl Two

The writing prompt pearl

• What does your personal “no way, no how” mantra sound like? Write it down, say it out loud, and describe how it makes you feel when you use it to guard your weight maintenance.
• When you catch yourself thinking in your old “diet brain”, how did you redirect yourself with a new, more supportive message?
• Write a letter from your future self—ten years into maintenance—encouraging your today-you to keep going. What does she thank you for? What does she remind you to stay strong about?
• What do you want to tell yourself on hard days?
• Finish this sentence this sentence three times: “I am not gaining the weight back because…”
• What feels shaky or wobbly in your maintenance right now (like Bambi legs)? How do you stay steady when you’re feeling unsure?
• In what ways are you stronger than you were when you first started losing weight? How have your “muscles”—mental or physical—grown?
• Write a pep talk to your “Bambi self.” Be loving and wise, like a mama deer to her fawn. What does she need to hear to keep going?

When you’re scared that you won’t end up being succeful at maintenance, what will you tell yourself? ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

Automatic Sequence:

• Situation: (be super specific like, yes that is an apple or yes he is in the hospital): Elaine doesn’t look forward to her adult step children’s visit. She knows they barely tolerate her presence and she’s afraid that her relationship with their father is being undermined.
• Knee-jerk thought: Elaine thinks that his kids won’t accept her and that it’s undermining her marriage.
• Feeling: Terrible fear and of being unwanted.
• Action: Days before they arrive Elaine cleans house like a wild woman. In a frenzy she plans Pinterest-worthy snacks and meals for dinner and breakfast the next day. Elaine is so thankful that she thought to buy a new tablecloth.
• Result: As she’s cleaning, she realizes that she’s fairly sweaty. Once the kids arrive, Elaine walks on eggshells, never feels part of the conversation and goes to bed worn out and disappointed.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation Situation:: (be super specific like, yes that is an apple or yes he is in the hospital): Elaine doesn’t look forward to her adult step children’s visit. She knows they barely tolerate her presence and she’s afraid that her relationship with their father is being undermined.
• Chosen thought: It’s natural that Paul’s children are rather cool and dismissive. The adult-kids don’t see me, Elaine, they see me as the one who married their dad. The hard feelings are just part of marrying a man with adult children. They’ll come around. It’ll take time but they’ll come around. I can do this.
• Feeling: Sadness for everyone involved. Understanding. Empathy.
• Action: In September Paul’s kids were on the calendar for a visit so Elaine planned a long weekend at a nearby spa with friends. Her intent was to give Paul’s kids time to be alone with their dad. She arrived home just as they were packing to leave. With a smile Elaine asked the room, “did you all have fun together?” She pulled Laura to the side and said, “next time you’re coming for a visit let me know if you’d like alone time with your dad. Here’s my cell number, just text me.”
• Result: Elaine’s fear floated away. She felt and acted more confident around Paul and his kids. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love and want us to be happy

I’ve written about this book once before, but I want you to see the title again. To call Virginia Hill a badass barely scratches the surface about Virginia Hill and she did for the world.

Her story, A Woman of No Importance the Untold Story of the American Spy Who Helped Win World War II by Sonia Purnell left me floored. This book is an unbelievable story in the hands of writer and researcher extraordinaire. Purnell knocks it out of the park wrote the book in such a way that you can almost feel the Gestapo just steps behind Virginia as she flees France. Only downer: the author never mention how Virginia slept at night.

Comparably my problems seem smaller. Yes, we need to honor the challenges in our own lives, but Virginia for her true heroics idn’t even receive certain medals once the war was won. Her opinion was, to paraphrase, “none of us did any of it for medals.” Virginia’s story would make an awesome Christmas gift for a young woman 13+. ♥

Pearl Five

Your body hears everything your mind says. Everything. ♥

If you enjoyed this post, I’d love it if you’d send it to your doctors/and or surgeon and of course nurses. They’ ‘d appreciate info. they could give patients. Thanks for spreading the word!

Have a beautiful week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Pearl One

First a caveat, I’m so thankful for the self-help world; I’ve benefited greatly. So please don’t think I’m dissing self-help. Not at all.

Given that, I’ve spent the last five decades reading self-help books, listening to cassettes (lol) and to podcasts these days. And I love a good TED Talk. I also became a licensed therapist in CA for a few years.

But somehow I took in a super subtle message – just lightly layered into the self-help vehicles – that high self-esteem is essential before we can create something of value (in our case, taking back our health; losing and maintaining after 50).

And yet I’m proof that the theory is completely wrong! I lost 55 lbs. and have kept them off for nineteen years now, and I’m a total goofball.

Turns out, we don’t have to be heads and shoulders above the average. We can feel so-so inside and still produce massive results.

Here’s what happened for me.

Back when I initially got serious about renovating my eating habits (mid-30s), my self-talk was lousy; my confidence maybe a C+ depending on the moment; and, my courage? Well, I can see where you might say that I was being semi-courageous a time or two, but on the whole, I utterly freak out when I’m supposedly “being courageous.” So, not sure that counts. (Still working in a “staying serene in a crisis” thing.)

And yet – even with iffy self-esteem — I lost the 55 lbs. and have maintained the loss for nineteen years now.

Our Takeaway

We don’t need the confidence of Oprah, the emotional strength of Brene Brown, or the brains and stamina of Sara Blakely (Spanx).

We can be an emotional mess and still lose and maintain after 50!! Isn’t the best?

Isn’t that the best?! Doesn’t that just open up the whole world to us? We don’t have to “have our act together” to get out there and make it happen. We’re messy and that’s okay.

My new mantra, please join me: we can be mushy on the inside and still create amazing lives for ourselves.

Because remember: I’m you.

Let’s take our messy paths together. ♥

Pearl Two

Writing prompts for you and your journal:

• What does “having it all together” actually mean to me? Where did that idea come from?
• What parts of my life are working well right now, even if they’re small?
• What strengths have I developed because of the mess, not in spite of it?
• When was a time I moved forward without a perfect plan—and it still worked out?
• If I waited until all my ducks were flying in formation, what would I miss out on?
• What would “progress” look like today if I gave myself permission to be imperfect?
• What am I afraid people will think if they see I don’t have it all together? Is that fear really mine—or something I’ve been taught?
• How would my definition of success change if I valued resilience over polish?
• Where am I underestimating myself right now? What would I try if I trusted myself more?
• What does showing up anyway look like for me this week? What one bold move could I make—even if I feel shaky doing it?What do you think about crazy-wild success like a Jeffrey Bezos? Or even Kris Jenner?
• People who are super successful are . . .
• I wish that I were more. . .
• Do you think of yourself as a food-binge or an over eater in general or both?
• The root cause for you seems to be. . .
• It’s hard for me to believe that women over 50 can. . .♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

Automatic Sequence:

• Situation (be super concrete): My 22-year-old has my hair – if it gets “long” I look like a cavewoman – and he’s growing his.
• Default thought: He looks like a caveman. Why in the world is he choosing to look like a ragamuffin?
• Feeling: perplexed and annoyed.
• Action: I say nothing.
• Result: Nothing improves.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (be super concrete): My 22-year-old has my hair – if it gets “long” I look like a cavewoman – and he’s growing his.
• Chosen thought: Part of maturing is trying out different hair and clothes styles.
• Feeling: Empathetic to his position as a young person exploring what he likes and doesn’t like.
• Action: I say nothing.
• Result: I talk to myself about my son being a separate person from me. And that he’s pushing back and my tolerating is what being a “good enough” mom is all about. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

The River Is Waiting: A Novel by Wally Lamb (yes, that Wally Lamb, but apparently Oprah’s made peace with the author because I found this book on her book list). I’m just now diving into the story. It was on the lists as one of the most awaited books of 2025. ♥

Pearl Five

“One thing I have come to notice in my life is that recovery for me has not been linear. It’s more two steps forward, three back, five forward, two back, so I’m always improving but there are setbacks within the improvement.” — Jonathan Van Ness ♥

Rather than telling friends or family about my site, it would be awesome if you would tell your doctors the Inspired Eater.

Make it a beautiful week! And I hope to see you on Facebook.

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Who doesn’t love a pudgy baby?

Pearl One

As a kid, my mom would tell me that I should lose weight while I was still young because “it only gets harder to lose when you’re older.”

When I was in my twenties and early thirties I used Weight Watchers (on and off) before finally getting down to business and creating a forever-loss for myself. As you know, I took off fifty-five pounds by my early forties with a twin pregnancy in the middle of the hoopla. Once nobody was inside of me, I left one baby with The Scarfer and took the other baby to the Weight Watchers meeting with me.

As I got older, I paid close attention to the senior women at those WW meetings and I noticed that they weren’t having an easier or harder time of losing weight than the rest of us. In fact, they seemed to be just like us younger folk. No different at all.

Turns out that it was much easier – for me at least — as an adult to lose weight because adults have a car, car keys, shopping power and the agency to set her own eating schedule.

Kids don’t have any of that.

I recently stumbled upon a study out of England in 2020 that studied 242 patients who were being treated for obesity at a university hospital. Long story short, they concluded that those of us over sixty can lose just as much weight as the youngsters; that, in fact, “age didn’t present a problem.” I love when science backs up what I’d noticed anecdotally.

So – great news – if it feels really hard to lose weight: you were right! It is really hard to lose and maintain, but thankfully, none of us have to make this trek alone! In fact, just a thought, but everyone who feels alone and wants to interact, click on my Facebook Page and let’s get to know each other. ♥

Pearl Two

Thank you to MW for nudging me in the right direction. This blog is better because of this wonderful engaged group.

Like MW, several readers wondered what they should write about in their journals. Great question. I love addressing journal-writing because I think it’s the most powerful therapy that places the trust in our own brain and inner workings, and is both affordable and accessible.  So, we’ll dedicate Pearl Two to writing prompts based on Pearl One’s topic like these for today:

• When you were a kid, what did you think about your body and weight?
• What were you told as a child? As a teen?
• Was there trauma around the scale? How did it leave you feeling?
• If you tried to lose weight as a child/teen how did it go?
• I grew up feeling. . .
• I remember thinking…
• I was jealous of. . .
• If food became a comfort for you, how did that play out?
• What did you hope for re: your body and health in your twenties?
• Same question in your thirties?
• And in your forties?
• Now that you’re over 50, why is staying on the Smart Eating Path important to you?
• What do you think of “the Big Three: Big Fast-Food, Big Grocery Store Junk-Food and Big Portion Sizes?”
• What do you think of your own abilities to persevere during tough times?
• Can you form an affirmation for yourself like “I eat well before grocery shopping.” ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

This story is an amalgamation of moms I’ve known.

• Situation (be very concrete): I have a newborn.
• Automatic thought: I adore my baby, but the house is a mess.
• Feeling: irritated.
• Action: I clean around caring for my baby.
• Result: I got few things done.

Bridges in-between.

• Situation (be very concrete): I have a newborn.
• Chosen thought: Everyone wants the pretty-picture including me. But I’m running with the advice to sleep when my baby sleeps and cuddle and feed him when he’s awake.
• Feeling: Less embarrassed at how my house looks, and reminding myself that my son will speed through his baby years and I can clean the house then.
• Action: I focus on one thing which is handling the dishes, otherwise I belong to my baby.
• Result: My house is messy, but it’s  the most adorable home on the block. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

I was immediately drawn into An American Marriage (Oprah’s Book Club): A Novel by Tayari Jones. About the book Barack Obama called it “a moving portrayal of the effects of a wrongful conviction on a young African-American couple.” Not what I was expecting from the title, but at the first page I was engrossed. The book’s vibe reminded me of To Kill a Mockingbird (if you’ve never read, I highly recommend).

I wouldn’t call either book “a beach read,” but both would be great on a flight. ♥

Pearl Five

At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” — Lao Tzu ♥

If you enjoyed reading this post, I appreciate it so much if you could share with others.

Make it a smart eating week! And I hope to see you on Facebook.

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.