Pearl One

We’ll do it differently and begin with our journal today. The following is exactly what I did to put desserts in their place. You’re in charge of your health, not the candy companies.

Take a few moments to write to the following prompts:

One

What change would you most love to make in your day-to-day eating? Remember to set yourself up for success, by keeping your change small and manageable. I’ll use myself as an example: A couple of years back, I wanted to eliminate eating sugar in the evening. I told myself repeatedly that if I wanted cheesecake in the evening, I’d plan to have it the next morning. More on morning-eating here: Brownies for Breakfast.

Two

Remember, that to establish a new habit I had to give up evening sugar for sixty-six days (time it takes to establish a habit according to my favorite ’09 study out of England). I know that sixty-six days sounds overwhelming, but it’s only the first sixteen days that require a full plan to be written each morning.

That said, when you’re ready to change a bad habit, plan the date you’ll begin. Put thought into it. Don’t try this on the spur of the moment. You’re developing a new habit around your favorite helper/entertainer/caregiver: food. So be respectful of what you’re attempting to do. For the first sixteen days in the morning write a plan only for that specific day and note where the challenging parts of the day lie. Ask yourself, why the challenges come up when they do (ex: I’m tired from my long day at work or I think the boss is probably mad at me etc.). And write a smart eating plan for those tough times.

For me, I overate in the afternoons and well into the evenings taking in mass quantities.

Here’s how I plan in the morning, to contract with myself exactly how my evening will look.

5 pm: If I’m already hungry, I eat a small snack — like half of a banana and read a positive book until dinner. I then listen to a super positive podcast.

6 pm: I’ll have a small dinner like half a cantaloupe and cottage cheese or a scrambled egg with cheese (in moderation). I call cheese a spice.

6:15 to 7 pm — I’ll listen to really great music like Linda Ronstadt, the Eagles, Tom Petty, and Prince (music reliably takes me to a better place). The science world is taking note and studying how music affects our brains. For example: “JUST TAKE THOSE OLD RECORDS OFF THE SHELF. . .” You know the next line. See how a fun song is electrifying and does a body good?

Music is a serious game changer. Use its power.

7 pm: I’ll take Summer on her walk tonight.

8 pm: I shower, brush my teeth, put on my jams and get to bed early with a book-dessert

You get the idea. As I list ways that I can support my “no evening sugar” plan, it’s important that I only list ways that are fun to me. Can’t be lamo.

So plan to get what you need: an upper podcast, great music, a book-dessert, and smart food that you love (grapes and yogurt). In other words set yourself up for success.

Three

How will you record your daily results? Peter Drucker said, “What gets measured, improves.” I keep myself on track by measuring lots and lots of things: like my food (with measuring cups), my daily weight (on my laptop) and so forth. Tracking my food is crucial for the right outcome. I keep a notepad next to the refrigerator. I’ve tracked food for almost two decades now. I still see it as so important,

Goodbye Sugar!

I’ll be honest, the first couple of weeks of no-sugar were hard. I read a lot of great books, listened to awesome music, and got a lot of sleep. lol. But by week three the sugar cravings died way down. I’m on Day 128 of no-sugar, the cravings are gone, and I’m treating this hard-won habit like the crown-jewel that it is.

Update: on 9-26-21: I’ve been sugar-free after dinner for nine months now. Today I won’t risk the successful months I’ve accumulated by eating ice cream at night.

Update on 6-9-25: I have full control of evening and morning sugar. Was this difficult? Well, of course. Do difficult anyway. ♥

Pearl Two

Do you mind another James Clear quote? In Atomic Habits James writes that “the greatest threat to success is not failure, but boredom.”

I couldn’t agree more. I’ve done a ton of dumb stuff in my life merely because I was bored. And – as we all well know — eating fun food is surefire way to pinball us straight out of boredom (at least for the moment). Fun food is cheap, fun food is a breeze to attain, and fun food is sanctioned by the world.

When fun food calls to me it means one of three things. I’m either hungry, tired or I’m bored. If I’m all three, I’ve really entered the twilight zone.

Getting un-bored with our new habit isn’t a walk on the beach. The smartest way to give our subconscious a way to “talk” to us is through journal-writing.

Pick up the pen – or keyboard- and discover what makes you sparkle and come up with creative ideas to bring the sparkle to life. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (be super concrete): When I have any problem on my laptop, I call for IT guys in my family to help.
• Automatic thought: I’m a dingdong and am not good at technology.
• Feeling: Mad and sad at family members who get upset with me for needing help.
• Action: I continue whining and coming across as hopeless/helpless.
• Result: It’s a pain to get what I need done on my laptop. I’m always begging.

Chosen Thought:

• Situation (be super concrete): When I have any problem on my laptop, I call for IT guys in my family to help.
• Conscious thought: I’m starting today to google problems I might have on my computer.
• Feeling: A sense of pride and happiness at being able to fix the computer without bugging somebody.
• Action: I’ll google for answers until I can’t find one, and only then will I request help. I rarely need help on the computer anymore.
• Result: Happier, more confident me! And the IT guys in my family seem to know that perpetually asking for help. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

We’re almost half way through the year, so I thought I’d share my three favorites so far.

Loving Frank: a Novel by Nancy Horan.

My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor.

The Love Elixir of Augusta Stern: A Novel by Lynda Cohen Loigman ♥

Pearl Five

Do you remember the book-dessert pearl from last week? Well I finished Chelsea Handler current book — I’ll Have What She’s Having — and was absolutely blown away at how good the book was. I’d read the first half before I wrote the post. And it was what I’d expect in a great book by Handler. But over the weekend I read the second-half and was floored. Describing the process that Handler went through was big-time inspiring for me. I never reread books, but I’m going in for my second read right now.

Handler has had six of her memoirs on the New York Times best seller list. Plus she loves dogs and I love that. This an easy-to-read book (although it’s substantial in size) perfect at the beach, plane, long afternoon alone. But fair warning: You’ll well up and your mascara won’t stand a chance. Really thought provoking..

And a word about politics. We don’t have them on here. Handler is a devout progressive but meets up with a former Republican president. It’s a sweet, super kind story. I might recommend Michele Obama’s Becoming and a week later Hillbilly Elegy.

Have a wonderful week,

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

The friend that you meet at the cute cafe with the many calories? Sometimes you have to say goodbye.

Pearl One

How are you with being different? Maybe even described as a little weird? I sure wasn’t comfortable. We moved enough when I was young, and I was terrible at being the “new girl” in class. Breaking into cliques was never my forte, so I’ve found myself with a lifelong feeling of wanting to blend in.

The way I see it, we’re the first generation of women over 50 who are taking our food-porn culture by the scruff and telling it, “You’ve done enough damage, we’re taking back our health — and our bank accounts — one smart, embedded habit at a time.”

Thing is, you have to make peace with being different.

• Different is telling an eating-buddy that you can’t meet her anymore at the cute bakery because you know you’ll overeat the “muffins” (basically cupcakes minus the frosting) in the glass case.
• Different is putting your foot down when someone tries to schedule an activity during the day, time you’ve set aside for your Pilates class.
• Different is asking the server “too many” questions about the ingredients in food at the restaurant and getting the side-eye from your friends.
• Different is when you take your cold-tote everywhere. The one time you forgot it in the fridge, you asked your husband to go back for it. Even though he was not happy.
• Different is being a little obsessive with always putting your smart eating life first before holidays, before trips, before anything really that isn’t your cute, fuzzy cubs.

I’ll say it again: we are the first generation of over 50s who can – and are – taking ownership of our health and our bodies. We determine the fate of our weight, not Ben & Jerry’s.

And this requires swimming against the tide.

We can learn to navigate our culture’s gazillion calories, but it’s very unfamiliar territory. It requires entirely new ways of interacting with food, new ways of eating with friends and family, and new habits to establish.

Remember, I’m you. There’s nothing special about me. If I can do this, you sure can too. ♥

Pearl Two

When I was losing weight and then going onto preserve my original loss, I said these words to myself daily: “do not get smug, I am not smug. I’m never, ever smug.” Avoiding feeling smug was a signal to my brain that I was not finished “helicoptering” my life. Eighteen years of preservation later, my “helicoptering” is easier and feels more like “just real life.”

Somehow I knew that I had to always, always, always remember that losing – and maintaining – was incredibly difficult, and getting smug was merely the beginning of a downfall. ♥

Pearl Three

Original Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): “The scale has only gone up.”
• Thought: “Oh, no. I thought this time would be different, that I would really keep my weight loss off. And – per usual – I’m not.”
• Feeling: Total anger, disappointment.
• Action: I spend the next week overeating.
• Result: The scale goes even higher, confirming that I can’t do this (maintain).

New Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): “The scale has only gone up.”
• Thought: “Okay, instead of getting furious, I’m getting curious.”
• Feeling: Resolved.
• Action: I immediately head for my journal and begin writing. I ask myself what my habits are like? Am I still tracking? Have I given up evening desserting? Do I take a great book to bed? Do I still have the habit of seeing my eating life as “on a diet” or “off the diet?” If I’m still looking at eating as “being on” versus “being off”, how do I help myself let go of that old way of living with food? How do I help myself live on the Smart Eating Path? What do I start with first?
• Result: I’m back to strengthening my habits and immediately shop for smart food. ♥

Pearl Four

I love reading a good memoir about a celebrity that I don’t really know, but am blown away to find out how mega-interesting and funny they are. The funniest moment was the time I picked up a Black guy’s memoir in the library that I 100 percent loved only to watch a movie with my sons and shout out, “Hey! It’s the guy from the book!” “The guy” was Kevin Hart and I’d read his I Can’t Make This Up: Life Lessons. I absolutely recommend this funny, inspirational book. I love reading about successful people and all they did to make the big-time. (He writes so well about his mom and dad. For that alone I recommend it.”)

Penny Marshall’s book was different in that of course I knew Laverne from Laverne and Shirley. When I saw Laverne’s (Penny Marshall’s) memoir My Mother Was Nuts: a Memoir at the library, I grabbed it. This book was such a fun read. How she got her start in Hollywood is super interesting and funny. I highly recommend this book-dessert. It was definitely stay-up-too-lateable.

My other favorite memoirs are:

The Choice: Embrace the Possible by Edith Eger. (Trigger-alert! If Nazis and Nazi stories are upsetting, maybe pass on this memoir. It’s not gory in the least, but I gave it to an aunt who had a strong reaction to it. She responded how I would respond if the book’s about hurting animals.  (To give you an idea of the author’s reach: she’s been visited by Oprah and of course in Oprah’s book club.)

Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover.

The Elephant in the Room — One Fat Man’s Quest to Get Smaller in a Growing America by Tommy Tomlinson.

My Stroke of Insight a brain scientist’s personal journey by Jill Bolte.

Simple Dreams: a Musical Memoir by Linda Ronstadt.

My Southern Journey: true stories from the heart of the South by Rick Bragg.

So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y’all Don’t Even Know by Retta

On Writing: A Memoir on the Craft by Stephen King.

The unwinding of the miracle : a memoir of life, death, and everything that comes after by Julie Yip-Williams.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed. ♥

Pearl Five

I cannot believe that I’ve gone an entire summer without once putting on a bathing suit and going to the neighborhood pool. When my boys were small I loved everything having to do with swimming pools, water slides, spray parks, lakes and beaches. Summers were awesome.

This week I am going to the pool: maybe even twice. (I’ll take pictures.)

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Left to run amuk, the cavewoman will empty your retirement account and fly to Hawaii.

Pearl One

For the last 300,000 years, humans (anatomically like us) hunted and gathered. You and I are the children of the survivors; our ancestors were not eaten by a saber-tooth tiger or a cave bear. Our people found the calories and moved on to creating civilization.

So, if — like me — you rely on food a little too much, we come by it honestly.

I call the primitive part of our brain our cavewoman. She’s the reason we default to overeating in the first place. When we were kids the cavewoman was always there for us offering a soothing bag of potato chips with a sour cream dip or a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream.

However along with the cavewoman, we also developed a prefrontal part to our brain. Our prefrontal is all business. If the cavewoman hears the morning alarm clock go off and refuses to get up “because I’m so cozy”; it’s our prefrontal that hauls us out of bed, makes our bed, heads for the coffee and so on.

The prefrontal is the one who puts funds into our Roth account. If left up to the cavewoman she’d blow the money on trips and new cars.

Let me give you another example from my life. I will not get up at 5 in the bleeping morning for any reason. No question, I’m a zombie without sleep.

Oh. Wait.

Except for that time when I woke up super early when the kids were still sleeping, and The Scarfer and I packed the minivan quietly (we didn’t want to wake the neighbors). We put our two little firecrackers into their car seats, and set out for Florida’s Legoland! I was so excited that morning. It had snowed the night before in Virginia and the neighborhoods we drove through getting to the freeway looked like a fairy land.

You see what happened? My “why” changed entirely for that specific morning. And my “why” for staying on the Smart Eating Path has also shifted through the years. Initially I took the weight off because I’d long felt like “the big one” in my family. Everyone else in my family is what you’d call “skinny.”

As an adult my “why” came down to my kids, husband and fur-kids. Today my “why” is wanting to be as healthy and strong as possible for my future family: the grand dogs, grand cats, grandkids and of course their grandfather.

There is so much work involved in losing weight after 50, we need to know our “why” well and connect with it about four or five times a day.

Journal-write about your “why.” Peel back the onion one layer at a time.

Just let your mind go and free-write to these journal prompts:

• Why does it matter to you to get to your goal weight and preserve it for a lifetime?
• Who around you is saying that you need to lose weight?
• If you had food issues as a kid, do you have a sense of when the need to soothe yourself first appeared?  
• Grieving food. Could you write a note to your favorite junk-food saying good-bye (for now)?
• Did food help you get through a tough childhood?
• How strong is your “why”? How could you strengthen it?
• How often do you focus on your “why”?
• What does “immersing” yourself in your “why” mean for you? ♥

Pearl Two

We might say casually, “I’m losing a few” or “I’m on a new eating program.”

As you shift onto the Smart Eating Path, treat your new lifestyle like you would a newborn.

Giving up fun-food is like taking a baby-blanket away from a baby. Life is hard, and we found a way to deal with the ups and downs of life.

As you make changes, Go Mr.-Rogers on yourself: be gentle with you. Find new ways to soothe yourself when you’re moving from the over-eater yo-yo dieter to living on the Smart Eating Path isn’t a “pull that crank and push that lever” type of thing.

Losing after 50 takes grit and determination.

Be good to yourself as you go forward: have your favorite smart foods on-hand along with plenty of fresh fruit and veggies and and congratulate yourself often because what you’re doing is black-diamond difficult. Should we lose/preserve our weight today? Or would we rather climb the Matterhorn? ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Default Sequence

I’m pretending to be a Thriver who doesn’t like tracking food.

• Situation (something very concrete): I dislike tracking my food intake so I don’t do it.
• Thought: “Tracking food is stupid.”
• Feeling: Angry (towards idea of tracking and anger at self for not tracking).
• Action: I think about tracking now and again, but mainly I think of it as smart eating tool for others, but I don’t want to.
• Result: I don’t track.

New Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): I dislike tracking my food intake so I don’t do it.
• New Thought: Why is tracking beneficial? I need to research the studies that show trackers lose more weight than the average bear.
• Feeling: Cautious, but curious.
• Action: I find an elegant, spiral-bound notebook along with a great pen. I put these tools by my refrigerator and just let them sit there for a week. On the second week I’ll track my morning food, but that’s it.
• Result: I know cognitively that tracking is “good for me” but I just have a lot of resistance to tracking. I’m working with myself one week at a time. I remind myself: it’s not about tracking “the right way.” Moving very slowly allows your prefrontal to be in charge and your cavewoman ssleep. ♥

Pearl Four

My favorite thing is when I’m immediately pulled into a book and I have a great title for you that did just that. The Rent Collector by Camron Wright is based on a real family living in a large community next to a massive dump. The families are called “pickers” and they pick through the dump trying to find trash that can be recycled, food that’s still good, and stuff for the kids like a beat-up old book. It took me forever to get to this book, but I’m so glad I finally opened it. Don’t let the topic throw you, it’s really good. A Cambodian husband, wife and 16-month-old baby survive a desperately poor life by picking through trash. Doesn’t that sound like a fun read? Even still, I highly recommend the Rent Collector as a phenomenal book-dessert. ♥

Pearl Five

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Pearl One

Of course, pizza was a pain, but it was nothing compared to the difficulty of relegating chocolate to my “twice a year only” list.

Hands down, chocolate is one of the best discoveries of mom-kind (you’re included too fur-moms).

Chocolate is like the sun that my awful days, snooze-fest days, and just day-days revolved around. In my life prior to “seeing the light” there was always a good reason to have chocolate. (And if you live near a See’s Candy you have my sympathies.) 

Too make a solid dent in my chocolate habit I did the following. Do all three at once and you’re good to go.

1 – I took Tim Ferriss’s advice to make one decision thereby eliminating hundreds more throughout the year. In other words, if you’ve decided to take a break from chocolate for a year, you won’t have to give careful thought when someone offers something with chocolate, it’s just a simple, “Thanks, but I’m good.” (This is the moment to pull out your cold tote-bag and eat from it. I’ve also found that Clif Bars go really well with coffee. I usually eat half, and eat the other half later.)

In my case, one year of giving up chocolate turned into forever. I have some once in a while, but on the whole, it doesn’t take me hostage anymore. Eighteen years into this, it’s not that the chocolate doesn’t call to me, it’s just that my “no thanks” has developed into a much stronger muscle.

2 – I customize a plan – in writing — for every moment of a holiday or an event that I know will feature chocolate. I used to plan to the minute, how I would handle every obstacle that came my way. (People themselves can pose an obstacle all on their own too, so make a solid plan if you’re hanging with this person.)

3 – I keep a running list on my kitchen cupboard’s inside door. I’ve meta-noticed that when I’m on the hunt for food in my kitchen, I’ll head straight for the high calories. But if I keep a list on my cupboard door of what’s available smart eating wise, I’m far more likely to say: “Oh, yeah! I forgot I had grapes, pineapple, baby yogurt, baby carrots dipped in hummus, hard-boiled eggs” and so forth.

I’m not saying that giving up a favorite food like chocolate is easy, but I am saying that with the right mindset it’s doable and completely worth it. ♥

Pearl Two

Back when I was heavy, I was so tired of it all. I remember going to every activity or event always mildly hungry. I’d head out the door to go shopping or the library and my mild-hunger of course would turn into moderate-hunger and, especially if The Scarfer was with me, we’d end up stopping at fast-food or hit the grocery store for junk-food.

Back then I truly assumed that sticking to my eating plan meant being hungry a lot of the time. Now I just feel sorry for all of us who grew up in the ‘70s and ‘80s.

• I didn’t know about Eating Before You Eat.
• Or always carrying a cold-tote packed in healthy food with an ice pack; taking it everywhere.
• I hadn’t learned the habit of always keeping a Clif bar as back-up in my purse.
• I was never taught that arriving to an event hungry would wake up my cave woman who’d assume that I was starving, take immediate control and begin her search for the highest calories around.
• I didn’t see the connect between hunger and a natural drive, not to look for an apple, but to head for whatever “full-bodied” food I could get my hands on.

You and I are “unlearning” so much from the past decades like that being hungry is part of weight loss (it’s not), or hard work outs will make us thin (only if we’re a teen on the high school swim team) or that fasting was a totally legit way to lose weight (remember Oprah’s liquid diet from the ’80s?).

Having grown up marinating in the yo-yo diet culture of yesteryear means we have a lot of unlearning to do. We’ve learned that arriving anywhere hungry is a red flag. We can identify red flags and customize a plan for each red flag that comes our way. We’ve learned: make a plan for the red flag and watch that flag disappear. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Let’s do a chocolate sequence!

The Initial Sequence

• Situation (be very concrete): The Scarfer brought home my favorite chocolate: Junior Mints.
• Thought: omg, yum! But I’m not doing chocolate this year. Stupid, stupid Smart Eating Lifestyle.
• Feeling: very irritated.
• Action: I down the junior mints (that’ll show the Smart Eating Lifestyle. Ha!)
• Result: After I eat the mints, I start beating up on myself and either spiral totally out of control immediately or tighten my eating to such a degree that I’d end up overeating anyhow.

It’s natural to often need a bridge sequence between your default thought to your chosen thought.

The New Sequence

• Situation (be very concrete): The Scarfer brought home my favorite chocolate: Junior Mints.
• Chosen thought: I immediately ask The Scarfer to put the junior mints into the highest cupboard so that I can’t reach the candy even with a step-stool. (I find that out of sight is out of mind.)
• Feeling: Matter of fact and positive.
• Action: I eat a cup of cold pineapple.
• Result: I’m a happy clam. ♥

Pearl Four

Italy’s part in WW2 has always confused me. First, they’re with Hitler, but then they teamed up with the good guy’s side. This book-dessert is about an Italian teenager and how he helps the resistance in German occupied Italy. What makes this story so interesting is that it’s based on a real teenager who shared all of the story with the author. One of the best books I’ve read this year. Over 200,000 Amazon readers gave it 4.5 stars.

This amazing story is titled Beneath a Scarlet Sky by Mark Sullivan. You will devour this book-dessert.

Pearl Five

Are you guys tracking? There are actually two kinds of tracking that I do: one, tracking and counting food at each meal. My notebook sits directly next to my fridge. And two, I track my scale’s weight for years now. To be clear, I didn’t get on scales — only at the pediatrician’s office — because I have a motto: Habits first, and the scale will follow. Give it some thought, because the motto will not let you down.

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Hello Thrivers!

If you have a question about something I’ve never addressed please just ask in the comments below or email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Pearl One

Jerry Seinfeld recently said, “Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you’re comfortable with.” He went on, “That (goes for) marriage, kids, work, exercise, not eating the food you want to eat. Find the torture you’re comfortable with.”

I love this wisdom because I take his point to mean, “be honest with yourself. Life is not easy. Pick what works best for you.”

While I don’t find preserving a large loss tortuous today, I certainly once did. When I was working hard to develop better habits, I would see something delicious and tell myself, “Noooo, that’s not how we’re living anymore. Those days are gone. I know, it’s not fun, but this is the reality. I’d rather fit into clothes than overeat the lasagna.”

I said a version of these thoughts to myself every time I wanted to step off the Smart Eating Path which was easily once a day. It was a huge help to know what to say to myself and how to respond when facing alluring food.

First, I didn’t let myself get overly hungry and second, food was no longer my playland for the times when I was bored, sad, anxious or angry.

Today, choose one new habit to embed. The one that seems the most potent to me is to finish a tiny dinner by 6 p.m. and take a great book to bed around 8. Read for two hours and then lights out. (Adding that if I’m actually hungry, I go back to the dark kitchen and half of a banana.)

Or make it a forever habit to track your food and add up points or calories. Tracking and counting is one of the best habits I ever instilled. If you’re not tracking and counting your food, start the habit today (remember that it’s only the first 16-days that are the hardest).

Or try giving up one food for the remainder of the year. This idea comes from Tim Ferriss who gave up bagels thereby “making one decision that eliminated one hundred more.” His point: if you give up bagels for the year, you just say “no thank you” the second someone offers a bagel. It’s passive-decision making, like passive-income but with a twist! ♥

Pearl Two

I love this exercise.

Think about a time in your life when you had the world by the tail and nailed a successful moment. Maybe it was when you passed that really hard licensing-exam. Or when you landed the job you’d always wanted. Maybe it’s when you got the diagnosis you didn’t want, but you survived chemo and radiation and rid your body of the cancer cells.

Pick a moment when you were super proud of yourself.

In your mind’s eye, make “the win” “really big, so big that that the image fills the whole room, and then imagine it over your roof reaching up to the sky.

A quick aside: I’m a nervous passenger in cars. I know it’s rude to back-seat drive, plus I don’t like it when someone does it to me. So, over the years I’ve gotten into the habit of seeing two angels in pink flying along over the top of our car protecting and loving us.

Back to our regularly scheduled program. Now take your super big “win” out of the sky and make it small, small enough to “put” the win into a ring or a bracelet or glasses or something that’s with you daily.

The idea is that each time you glimpse your bracelet, the beautiful thought of your big win returns flooding you with feelings of accomplishment.

This amazing exercise comes to us from the world of Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

I’m pretending to be this person. The situation comes from a novel I once read.

• Situation (something super concrete): I’ve lived in Manhattan for 20 years now. I love this city. We’re moving to a suburb for quality of life and safety.
• Automatic thought: I’m Sarah Jessica Parker, I’m not Mrs. Brady. Suburbs are cookie-cutter houses filled with cookie-cutter people living cookie-cutter lives.
• Feeling: Incredible sadness at leaving and revulsion for where we’re going.
• Action: I half-hardheartedly look at homes on Zillow.
• Result: I cry a lot.

New Sequence

• Situation (something super concrete): I’ve lived in Manhattan for 20 years now. I love this city. We’re moving to a suburb for quality of life and safety.
• Chosen Thought: I’m choosing to look at the move as an exciting new adventure. The dogs will love more room and the big backyard. I’m sure they have fun things to do in the suburbs. We’ll be safer and can visit the city anytime.
• Feeling: Happy that my pups will be happy. Willing to give this new lifestyle a solid try.
• Action: I find homes online that I can imagine living in.
• Result: When we visit the suburb to see the homes I’m honestly surprised at the beauty of the town. I hadn’t expected it to be so lush. And the post office and library are practically walking distance from each other. I’m getting a little excited. ♥

Pearl Four

Pearl four is space for me to share a book-dessert, but – ugh – of the several I’ve skim-read, zero have wowed me. I mean, they’re good stories. I would have finished any one of them, but they’re not at book-dessert status.

So, the book that I’m highly recommending is also not a book-dessert, but it’s a book I very much want to share with you called The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease. If you have children or teens in your life for whom you’re buying gifts, this book is a gem-filled treasure trove of incredible book recommendations. The first half of the book explains why reading aloud is so important for families, but the second half of the book is packed in incredible reads for ages 0 to 2, 2 to 5, preschool to first, 4^th grade to 7 and so on.

Because of two major moves, I homeschooled my two sons and dipped into this book almost daily. You’ll find classics along with newer books. I wrote in and dog-eared my copy. To give you an example of how the book presents titles:

The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes

Grades 3 – 6                            78 pages.                                   Harcourt, 1944

Then the book gives a short paragraph on what the book’s about and adds “related books” also with the authors’ names. Love, love, love this book. ♥

Pearl Five

Have a wonderful week! I’d love a follow on Instagram and Facebook

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Hello Thrivers,

We have new people –and  welcome!! – I’m sharing five super important posts to read. It’ll make these weekly posts a lot easier to understand. As for me, I’m re-reading these posts to brush up on my skills.

• Begin Here
• This Metaphor Is My Constant Companion as I Preserve My Weight Loss After Age Fifty
• Brownies for Breakfast
• 6 Pillars of Losing Weight After Age 50
• How to Conquer Your Evening Sugar Cravings

On with the show!!

Pearl One

Let’s talk stretch-goals. When we’re nurturing a stretch-goal it’s important to make plenty of room for it in our hearts and mind. I think that one reason people regain weight is that they never gave their heart and mind time to catch up with their new size. (Read twice; this last sentence is everything.)

The brain still tells itself that we’re an ugly duckling (not fitting in). Your brain hasn’t yet caught up to feeling like a swan. Give yourself as many swan messages as you can.

So, let’s say I want to go from 210 pounds to 180. As I’m slowly losing weight, I’m asking myself strong questions, developing smart habits, and learning success-based self-talk. We’ll do a deep-dive on the latter today.

I know this is the last thing anyone wants to hear, but slowly losing ten pounds (or less) and then “holding” (what we once called “plateauing”) is vital to your forever-loss.

Holding tells our brain, “Hey, we’ll be living at 200-pounds for a month, maybe more.” By holding at 200-pounds you haven’t freaked out your inner cavewoman who would otherwise assume that you’re in starvation-mode and rush to dunk you into the nearest vat of ice cream.

The first inroad a new idea or goal takes will be through our brain, right? We have a thought and the thought leads to a feeling.

Invite a New Size into Your World

As you’re losing weight or holding say to yourself throughout the day,“I’m living at a size-14 and it’s relaxing and fine.” “I can be a size-fourteen, everything is good and comfortable.” “Turns out, being at size-14 isn’t only for other people: it’s for me too!” (Start slowly: get comfortable with size-14 before you go further.)

• Then write these messages (about being a size-14) on 50 Post-its and stick the message throughout your day like on your bathroom mirror, wallet, steering wheel, laptop; get creative.
• Journal-write about the process of losing five to ten-pounds at a time, and then holding in between the losses. Challenge yourself to answer how do you feel at size-14? Answer in both the negative and the positive. Then get really specific and ask yourself specifically what is negative? What is positive?
• Double-down on eating a tiny dinner at 6 p.m. and — while everyone else is having birthday cake — you know that you’ll have yours by tomorrow by 9 a.m. with your morning coffee.

One Huge Change I’ve Made

There was a time when I didn’t understand how telling everyone that you’re living the Smart Eating Lifestyle could be a real problem; I didn’t realize that it could be detrimental to your early success.

I don’t say this lightly. For the first year or two of living on the Smart Eating Path, keep it private. It’s your personal information and it’s important that you don’t share it with the peanut-gallery (yes, I mean your immediate family, friends, and co-workers).

You’re embarking on a new mindset of losing and preserving for a lifetime, don’t share the news until you feel super comfortable. If you tell everyone about your new plan they may groan, “oh, no, not another diet” or “if it were going to help, wouldn’t it have by now?”

You don’t need their bad vibes. Just stay mum until you’re 100-percent confident about your new world. Credit goes to Mr. Jerry Seinfeld. He was being interviewed and responded to a question that he doesn’t show his jokes to anyone; he spends months crafting a joke before sharing one for fear of others’ negativity or lack of vision. Smart!

So, breathe in, “I’m 72 and it’s okay that I’m a size-12; (another breath) all is well. I’m fine. I can do this!!”  

Remember to remind yourself in every way possible: from this moment forward, you’re a swan, you’re a swan, you’re a swan. ♥

Pearl Two

I thought you might like to hear a goofball way I sometimes challenge myself: I’ll buy a package of baby tomatoes or petite carrots, and see if I can finish them that weekend.

Chunking down goals is one way to make smart eating a smidge more interesting.  I’ll repeat this quote because it’s so good; someone said, “I normalize the small wins as much as the big ones.”

I think of smaller wins being like, “I assertively asked my husband not to bring ice cream home for a while and he agreed.” Or, “I’ve acclimated myself to eat stir-fry veggies (Costco, frozen aisle by frozen strawberries) almost every night for dinner.” And of course, “I head to bed at 8 p.m. and sink into a book-dessert.” ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Former Sequence

I’m pretending to be someone I grew up with called Kim.

• Situation (something concrete) I grew up in a home circa 1920 (my dad, mom, brother and I in 2.5 bedrooms, 1 bath) in a wealthy suburb. Everyone I knew lived in large homes, some overlooking the country club’s golf course.
• Automatic thought: I have friends getting cars for their sixteenth-birthday. I don’t fit in here. I don’t belong. We don’t belong. I’m not important in the scheme of things.
• Feeling: Mortified for the big-home people to find out about our life. Unworthy, not confident.
• Action: I didn’t invite friends to my house. When everyone left for college, I become a secretary to lawyers.
• Result: My husband and I fight about money a lot and I cringe when he “acts poor” like questioning menu prices when ordering at a restaurant. I want to keep the story going that “we belong here.”

Of course, Kim would need more than one bridge sequence. Let me know if you want me to include a bridge sequences too.

Chosen-Thought Sequence

• Situation (something concrete) I grew up in a home circa 1920 (my dad, mom, brother and I in 2.5 bedrooms, 1 bath) in a wealthy suburb. Everyone I knew lived in large homes, some overlooking the country club’s golf course.
• Chosen thought: It’s true, I’ve grown up in a wealthy tax bracket and it’s been hard on me. But I’m going to make it. Maybe I don’t have rich parents, but I do have great grades just like my peers. I’ll be self-made: success will be sweet.
• Feeling: proud and ready to enter life.
• Action: When my friends started talking about colleges, I talked to my school counselor who told me about the Pell grant, about grants in general, and the ins and outs of school loans.
• Result: I went to Sacramento State and majored in law. ♥

Pearl Four

When this book came out in 2010 I didn’t read it because I assumed it was all medical and doctor-y stuff. Boy was I wrong. Normally I recommend fiction books as a book-dessert, but I occasionally include awesome non-fiction too like the Splendid and the Vile, because they’re written like a fast-moving novel.

Plus, I only recommend non-fiction that’s researched within an inch of its life. The great non-fiction authors make a point of saying that if anything is in quotation marks the person was actually interviewed or the quote came from a diary. Because there’s so much research involved, these authors can’t pump out a book a year.

That said, I highly recommend The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. Champagne for Ms. Skoot who knocked this story — that needed to be told – out of the park. If you’ve already read about Ms. Lacks, then you might want to try my favorite non-fiction: the Splendid and the Vile. Either way both are amazing book-desserts. ♥

Pearl Five

Have a wonderful week, everyone. And if you’re enjoying these posts, it would be awesome if you’d send it to a loved one!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

When was the last time you lusted for an apple? Food-porn is designed to ensnare us.

Hello Thrivers!

I hope your long weekend was a good one. If you’re brand new to the blog read Aunt Bea and then begin here. Thrivers seem to really like this post too!!

Pearl One

One afternoon I found myself thinking, “it’s too quiet”, so I put on jazz and then went in search of something horrendous to eat.

Because – in my heart of hearts — I always will default into food-porn.

But just as I’m opening the wrong cupboards, I hear the piano’s tinkle, tinkle, tinkle and thought “people who listen to jazz do not eat inappropriately.”

My interest in junk-food evaporated immediately.

And after 18-years of preserving my loss, I can promise you that I want to eat inappropriately at least once a day. So, what I’ve learned: when I start to daydream about food-porn that’s when I go into damage-control mode and tell myself, “If you’re pining for junk food, you’re merely hungry for food/food.”

Because the diet-cartel has long pushed the notion that using their particular product means that we’ll never want junk food again. Ever!!

Total urban myth.

Of course we want to inhale made-to-be alluring, engineered junk-food. The companies’ business plan includes creating enticing “food.”

As you’ve likely heard, they’re paying scientists to increase the “mouth feel” of junk food. Every time you open a package of cookies, remember that companies are actively working against your best interest.

Of course, there are various times in the day when I can walk by pizza and not blink, but if I haven’t eaten I might inhale the pizza. So when pizza is in your midst and looking quite tasty, eat a small, but powerful food: apple with peanut butter, hummus on toast, scrambled eggs with cheese, pineapple poured over cottage cheese (my favorite) and so forth.

Try this challenge for yourself: wait until you start pining for a donut and then consciously eat a small meal. After you eat your small meal, ask yourself how do I feel towards the donut now?

Still want the donut? Grab a handful of nuts. I’ve read that nuts may be one of the most powerful strategies for metaphorically squirting the donut with ketchup. (Which I highly recommend doing for real. The brain sees you squirting ketchup up on treats and is immediately put on notice that you’re serious-beyond serious-now.)

I’ll say it again for emphasis: fantasizing about junk-food is nothing more than you’re hungry for real food. ♥

Pearl Two

This wisdom is rooted in James Clears’ the Atomic Habits.

Clear tells us that to embed a strong new habit, we need to make the new behavior: obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying.

Two of these laws, obvious and attractive, encourage us to make our environment work for us and not against. In our case we want to make it annoyingly difficult to get our hands on junk-food and insanely easy to eat smart-food. Keep your kitchen stocked in your favorite smart food and prepare as much in advance as you can: hard-boil eggs, cook your protein, have your favorite fruit on hand (especially in the spring a summer).

The more prepared you are, the more small wins you’ll have.

There shouldn’t be cheesecake or pizza in our kitchen in the first place, but if you live with others who require treats, ask that the ultra-processed food – what we’re now calling junk-food – live in the highest cupboard where you can’t see or reach it (even with a stool). Hide cold treats in a brown bag that’s pushed to the back of the bottom shelf to the back.

I used to say this in jest, but it’s totally true: one perk of getting older is that we forget the treats in our kitchen if they’re out of sight.

Clear’s third law is “easy.” When you want to make losing weight smoother, a little less rocky, consider putting these ideas into place:

• Stay satiated. Hunger is not your friend. I have a much easier time of dismissing ice cream if I’ve just had a bowl of cereal.
• Keep several book-desserts next to your bed in easy reach ready to support you at 8 p.m. each evening. Giving up evening eating is tough, but you can make it a tad easier by having a stack of book-desserts at the ready

Clear’s last law: “make it satisfying.” This one is difficult because food is our satisfaction, but say this to yourself every day: most of us in our food-wealthy world struggle mightily with staying out of the junk-food.

Ideas to make losing and preserving after 50 satisfying. As you lose, visit your favorite thrift stores and buy in your new size (yes, even if you’re not yet at your preferred weight. Wearing your former size of clothes probably isn’t the best idea. When you go down a size, pick up new clothes for yourself at your thrift store and you’ll signal your brain, “Hey! I am sooo serious about this” (your brain needs to see you engaging in strong actions).

Big wins (like clothes) aside, I like to focus on small wins to keep myself in the smart eating game. For example I play a game with myself that if I do a,b, and c, I’ll get a new nail polish color, I’ll give myself an hour in the day to just read, in the summer I’ll lay-out at our community pool as so forth.

Somebody said “normalize little wins” and I couldn’t agree more.

I’m working on a house project right now that if I complete it will score me a small bottle of my favorite perfume (huge for me because most of the money goes to the house, my sons or our sweet kitty).

When you’re ready to develop one new habit (more than one is being mean to yourself), keep in mind that my favorite study out of England concluded that it takes 66-days to embed a strong new habit. But amazing news, it’s only the first 16 days that are the hardest. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Old Sequence

• Situation (something concrete): I heard a man on the radio say that when his dog dies it will “destroy me.”
• Automatic thought: I’ve lost too much in my life; I can’t take losing Lily.”
• Feeling: Heartbroken.
• Action: Eats comfort food.
• Result: Gains weight.

In real life, this man may need to make a bridge between the “automatic” thought and the “chosen thought.”

New Sequence

• Situation (something concrete): I heard a man on the radio say that when his dog dies it will “destroy me.”
• Chosen thought: Of course, it’ll hard when she passes. I’ll be so very sad. But I can do this. Taking care of my heart about a difficult time to come is imperative. Instead of stacking my losses, I’m developing a new habit to stack my small “wins” with Lily (like: I have a great vet. Win! Lily loves to swim and I take her to a pool once a week. Win. It’s on my Lily-bucket-list to take her to the beach next month. Win!
• Feeling: A little more balanced, a little less frantic at the very notion.
• Action: play a lot and do a lot with Lily and I’ll keep a journal of all the fun things we do together that I’ll read one day for comfort.
• Result: She’s with me now and life is good. When the time comes, I’ll be okay. ♥

Our brains are always listening to us. Don’t say “destroy me” instead say “it’ll be rough, but I can do it.”

Pearl Four

Light summer fun books. I highly recommend all three:

1) Is This Anything? by the GOAT, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld.

2) Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman.

3) The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson. ♥

Pearl Five

If you haven’t yet joined me on Facebook and Instagram, please do! And if there’s a topic you’d like me to address, I’m more than happy to. Just write in the comments below or email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

And just for some summer fun: send me pictures of your fur-kid and I’ll share the photo on here!

Make it a beautiful week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥