If you’re tempted this weekend, just remind yourself you can have your treat in the morning with coffee. Still want 4th of July dessert? Think: pretty popsicles, macarons at Trader Joe’s or Costco, and watermelon. And always keep your cold-tote full and by your side.

Hi Thrivers,

I’m spending the entire weekend taking my clutter to the local dog and cat thrift store for drop-off. It feels so good to get rid of stuff that I didn’t even know I had anymore. ♥

Pearl One

I get it. The many how-to-have-the-best-body types have their own ideas about what is smart eating and what’s not. It’s crazy-confusing when one “expert” encourages saving a dessert for the morning while the another is clearly in the all-sugar-is-bad camp.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the “dueling experts” idea after a Thriver sent an email saying that her favorite fitness guy espouses the no-sugar way of living. This man did an amazing job of taking his body from pudgy to ripped so I’m guessing that his readers are those who lift weights and want to eat well to optimize their workouts.

All good.

Here’s the thing:  This man is totally right. Zero sugar is the gold-standard for optimal health.

But he and I have two different approaches to losing and preserving a loss because we have two different end-games.

He’s teaching others how to live their best weight lifting-life that leaves no room for sugar.

Whereas I’m addressing the psychological reasons for overeating and binge-eating in women over fifty, a topic he probably doesn’t want to touch.

When you and I transfer our nighttime sugar raids to eating one dessert in the morning with our coffee, we’re slowly weaning ourselves off of sugar. (That said, if even a bite of chocolate triggers you into a week of overeating, clearly having a brownie at breakfast won’t work for you, for now.)

I’d like to get us to zero nighttime eating. Eating one dessert at night generally turns into more: a bowl of ice cream becomes two, one cupcake turns into three. And, let’s face it, a lot of us pile the ice cream and cupcakes together for the best dessert ever.

You see my point.

By scheduling the treat in the morning were doing the following:

1) We’re extinguishing the evening habit of having two, three or more desserts at night. We’re putting sugar into a time of day when few of us go overboard on a treat and eat too much. 

2) We’re helping ourselves “not  feel cheated” because “everyone” is having desserts after dinner.

3) Our bodies don’t grip onto calories the way they do at night. I know this is a controversial idea, but those in the field of science are starting to take note, and it sure works in my life..

Basically, I’m coming more from a let’s use mind-sets and strategies to keep our weight down after age fifty. And he’s coming from an “optimizing our food, for a better lifting body” viewpoint.

Here’s the upshot: the longer I told myself I could have my dessert in the morning, I’d find that I didn’t want sugar in the morning. I mean, sometimes yes, but for the most part I reach for cereal instead. ♥ 

Pearl Two

Trust me, if I allowed certain treats into my home, they wouldn’t be safe. My brain would say, “it’s only oatmeal. In cookie-form. Okay, with sugar. But – really — what’s the big deal? It’s just oatmeal?”

I’m about to rant. I’m afraid I’ll sound smug and pompous, but I’m not. I just think I look at food-porn differently than the average bear.

In the same week, I read two different people talk nonchalantly about food-porn: a blogger said, “I had a Sonic Blast and I refuse to feel guilty about it.” (A Sonic Blast is a milkshake with your choice of M&Ms, Snickers, Peanut Butter Cups or Butterfingers.)

Food-porn on steroids.

The man, a guy with an extreme obesity issue who writes about very much wanting to lose weight, said something similar and described how he wandered around a store while nursing a milkshake.

But the milkshakes aren’t my point. We all have our version of the milkshake and I’m certainly no different than you.

My point is the attitude both the blogger and writer shared. The blogger wrote that she “refused to feel guilty” and the guy’s essay was written in a very blase voice, he treated his junk-food like “it’s just one milk shake” type of thing.

Do I want them to beat themselves up? Of course not.

That’s a quick ride to nowheres-ville.

The part that bothers me is that they don’t yet get that our brains only need one milkshake to establish a habit. You might be thinking, “Well, they each had only one milkshake. Thing is, our cavewoman brain is a like three-year-old. Do something super fun one time and — as she sees it — a habit has been instilled.

No discussion. It’s done.

We don’t have to have six milk shakes to embed an awful habit that will be tough to correct.

It just takes one time.

So, when I’m eyeing the fancy cookies that The Scarfer keeps in his stash I ask myself this heavy-lifter of a question:

Is this thing I’m about to do or eat, add to my strong habits or take me down the overeating road?

This question reminds me that I don’t need to have three, four or five milkshakes to form a habit. ♥

I only need one. ♥

Pearl Three

June’s topic for the month: what cannot be an afterthought in our smart eating lives. Every week we’ll talk circumstances that require hard-core planning rather than “winging it.”

I love the term “sweet spot.” It’s a fun way to talk about something particularly wonderful like, “my sweet spot for reading a great book is at night, in my cozy bed.”

But what if we flip the script and talk about a “bitter spot” as in, “my bitter spot for choosing porn-food is definitely right after dinner.”

So much power and magic appear when we’ve taken planning seriously. In your journal, write about your bitter spots and how you’ll address them.

Take it one day at a time. And rewrite a new plan every single morning.

Writing a plan for your bitter spot March 1 and never looking at it again until June 1 is no way to deal with a bitter spot. Every single morning write a brand new plan detailing how you’ll bookend your bitter spot with smart activities. ♥  

Pearl Four

The readers in the book clubs I follow on Facebook rave about Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus. Some even say it’s their most favorite book of the year. And these people read a lot.

But be forewarned: the cover of this book gives the assumption that it’s a rom-com or chick lit. It’s neither. It’s a thoughtful story filled with dry humor somewhat like The 100 Year OId Man Who Jumped Out of the Window and Disappeared.

Many call this book A+. I’m more in the A- camp. A great read, but my two favorites so far this year:

A Woman of No Importance the Untold Story of the American Spy Who Helped Win World War II by Sonia Purnell. This woman was such a success at her “work” that she was considered the most feared spy by the Nazis.

The Beauty of Dusk by Frank Bruni. An absorbing memoir about his life and a tough medical situation. ♥

Pearl Five  

“Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.” ― Angela Duckworth ♥

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

♥, Wendy

Cold-Tote I Love

Best Dessert-Books on the Planet

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

How to find the treasure in your next binge or overeat.

Pearl One

When this smart eating hack occurred to me, it practically knocked my flip-flops off.

Let’s say you overate a little bit or maybe you overate a lot of bit.

Right here, at this feeling-gross-moment, is where the treasure lies.

I understand that you don’t feel good, but pull out your journal and write an email, a letter, or a journal-essay to your future self.

Feeling yucky-you can save future-you from more binging down the road. Of course, this method isn’t 100 percent, but it will go miles in addressing overeating or an actual binge. (It’s also an amazing habit to embed. Overeat? Write about it.)

Thrivers, we are in the zone of creating real change for ourselves.

Write at least a paragraph to these questions (this is not the time to be word-stingy).

• How do you feel – in your body — right now? (Ex: Stomach ache, want to throw up etc.)
• How do you feel emotionally at this moment? (Ex: I’m so mad at myself. I was doing so well around food and I messed everything up for what?! Margaritas and chips? Wendy’s note: try to keep in mind that you’re normal.)
• If you’re mad at you, what do you tell yourself at this moment? (Ex: I’m so dumb, what’s wrong with me, why am I so weird around food? etc.)
• If your internal voice is harsh and critical, where do you think you first heard this type of criticism? (Knowing is important not for blaming purposes, but so that we can address the criticism at its roots.)
• At that, stack the times in your adult life when you’ve been responsible. Stack at least five. Then do something you couldn’t do as a kid: talk back to the voice who called you names.
• Write at least three paragraphs on what you’d say to the voice who called you an airhead, again, all in your journal only (“I was twelve!” “I was still learning in life!” Who calls a child an airhead anyhow?!”).
• What you most want for future-you (give at least three ideas).
• What do you want future-you to know: (Ex: that it feels awful to overeat because. . .)
• Do you know specifically what triggers you into eating too much?
• How can you address the triggers so they lose their power?
• How do you wish you’d responded instead of overeating?
• How can you make it more attractive (from Atomic Habits) to stay the Smart Eating Path? (Ex: I can always keep my favorite healthy food on-hand, not get overly hungry, not talk to that combative family member on the phone when I’m too close to the binge food etc. etc.).
• Can you write suggestions re: what you wished you’d done instead of overeat?

The essential idea is to teach future-you about how terrible it feels to give in. And then give strong ideas that would better than overeating.]And last, revisit your letter as often as needed. Keep it front-and-center in your daily. ♥

Pearl Two

I can turn any food into a “bingeable.” Acknowledging to myself that I’d always use food to comfort, celebrate or numb-out is just how I’m built.

As you know, it’s cake over wine every time.

Acknowledging that I’ll always default head-first into food is an annoying thought, but I also know more about myself and can therefore handle the overeating tendency that much better. ♥

Pearl Three

June’s topic for the month: what cannot be an afterthought in our smart eating lives.

Today’s topic: we’re heading into summer vacations and planning how and what you’ll eat on the trip needs to be given serious planning.

I’ve been a travel writer for sixteen years now, and I never gained weight on trips. Having a solid plan in place and not winging it moment by moment gets all the credit. Whether I was traveling by car or plane, I knew exactly how the food-situation would go down.

Bottom line: Know before you go

Pearl Four

Our book-dessert slot!
You are owed an apology. And the Mountains Echoed by one of my favorite authors, Khaled Hosseini, should have been one of the first book-desserts I shared. The book’s genre falls under both “historical fiction” and “domestic fiction.”

Total honesty: if I’d read a description about this title’s plot I’d have thought, “pass.” But I’d already read Hosseini’s other two masterpieces — The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns – so I was all in. When I came up with the idea of book-dessert it was because of books like And the Mountains Echoed

So, that’s my review: 100 percent. (And again, my apologies.) ♥

Pearl Five

  “Living is the art of getting used to what you don’t expect.” Eleanor C. Wood ♥

If you haven’t yet read Aunt Bea, just shoot me an email: Wendy@WendyIrvineWriter.com! 🙂

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥