Is drawing more elegance into your life even on your radar? You’re likely low in Vitamin Elegance and here’s why we need to prioritize this beautiful intention.

Hello Thrivers!

I’m sorry I’m so late today. I’m not even sure why I’m so late! Thank you for hanging in there with me!

My book — thanks to the extreme help of “C” and everyone who contributed titles — will be out in early August. And the price will be set at fifty percent off for you guys.

I’m excited for you to put the ideas into action and continue to create your forever-loss. ♥

Pearl One

I was listening to a podcast the other day, and the show’s host told a story about a large friend who’d explained that he was heavy because “he just loved food so much.”

That it was just that simple

The podcast host snickered and said something like “that’s pretty much what I’ve always figured is true for everyone.” (Chuckle, chuckle.)

I mean, we’re supposed to believe that the podcaster’s friend “liked to eat” so much that he hobby-ate himself into being severely obese?

Doubtful.

We might tell ourselves that we “merely love to eat” but when most of us overeat, binge-eat, eat and vomit, or stop eating altogether, generally something much deeper is triggering the food-behavior.

Survival-Eating

It’s my thought that when kids are growing up in a tough situation, they survival-eat. Life was terrifying and out of our control so we self-soothed by overeating.

I understand that you beat yourself up about your weight and your “inability to lose” but try to look at it from little-you’s perspective: she was merely trying to survive a bad scene. And keep in mind that little-you had no job, no car keys, no way of extricating herself from the horrible situation.

She was stuck.

Viktor Frankl’s quote says it perfectly, “An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.”

That said, cut yourself some slack. Empathize with kid-you. Entrenched eating problems don’t just arrive out of the blue for no reason.

Boredom-Eating

So, if we’ve established the habit of leaning on food as kids, we end up – naturally — turning to food as adults.

We end up overeating for several different emotional reasons: We’re sad: we eat. We’re celebrating: we eat. We’re bored. . . we eat?

I think boredom gets short-shrift as being a trigger for overeating.

Let’s return to little-you. If you had a childhood where your interests weren’t encouraged it’s not likely that you champion your passion-topics today.

Say you always wanted to be in the Girl Scouts like the kids in your class, but your mom didn’t make it a priority to do everything involved like pay the fees, buy the uniform, take you to the many meetings, help you get the gear for camping and so forth.

Or even, say your mom was a single parent and held two jobs while raising you and your brother. There simply wasn’t money or time for your interests to be nurtured.

If your interests were largely ignored when you were young it’s likely that you ignore your interests today as an adult.

So, journal-write and journal-write about what makes you sparkle in life. My sparkle moments come from a LOVE of animals, travel, writing, and hanging out with my kids on the rare moments they want to see me.

It’s not that having a more exciting life will make us slender, of course not. But infusing life with your personal brand of fun, makes staying on the Smart Eating Path a whole lot easier.

No-Dignity Eating

And now we come to “no-dignity eating”. Let’s go back again to kid-you. If you were allowed very little dignity and respect in your young life, – like you were screamed at for forgetting a, b, or c – you weren’t given the dignity that every child needs to flourish.

We’re not eating with dignity today when we binge-eat. Or maybe we ate dinner with the family, but then also ate the leftovers clandestinely in the kitchen.

And we’re sure not eating with dignity when we crunch through a box of Cheeze-It’s while zoning out on a show.

Journal-write about dignity, what it means to you, and how you can slowly began to bring more and more respect for your ownself into your life. ♥

Pearl Two

As I’ve mentioned, I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, or dietician. I just love sharing foods I like with you guys.

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long, but I’ve finally switched to eating only whole-wheat pasta. I’ve eaten whole-wheat bread and whole-wheat rice forever, but I never got around to dealing with the white pasta. (I just avoided it for the most part.)

Here’s how I make it: I boil the brown spaghetti. After it goes into the colander, I take about one cup’s worth and spray “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” on the noodles and then sprinkle in some Parmesan.

Yum-city. ♥

Pearl Three

Topic for July: how to keep steering yourself back onto the Smart Eating Path.

Ooo, this is such a good topic. Here’s what I do on a regular basis: every day I note whether I’m having an I-want-to-chow-every-thing-in-sight kind of day or a I-can-stick-to-the-plan-no-problem day.

If I’m sensing the former, I literally eat something every hour or hour-and-a-half.

I call this the “drip, drip, drip” eating method and it’s a heavy-lifter. This method is my go-to every time I need to get myself back on track.

The idea is to keep your hunger on simmer, so that it never gets to a rolling boil.

What do I eat? I might have a large kale salad at noon (topped with fake chicken or polenta rounds both found at Trader Joe’s), and half of an apple at 1:30. Then I’ll have the other half of the apple at 2:00. At 3:00 I’ll eat my blueberry-oatmeal bowl and so on. Then I stop eating completely by 6 p.m. and go to bed early with a great book. (Like the one in Pearl Four.)

See? I just have light bites throughout the day, but I do a total of zero “intuitive eating” and work closely with the clock.

And of course, I track what I eat.

For the latter situation: just keep on trucking, but remind yourself to never, ever get smug about how you eat, what you weigh, the size of your jeans etc.

Keeping the weight off for seventeen years now is directly related to staying humble and ready to learn. ♥  

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy.

You know what’s tough about having a “book pearl”? Finding a new book every single week that I really want to recommend is harder than it sounds.

I read what I think of as a lot of junk before I find an “Aretha Franklin singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T” type of book to recommend.

In that vein, I have a GREAT one for you today: The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese.

Covenant is the kind of book I wish I could read every week. I don’t know why, but I haven’t paid much attention to Oprah’s Book Club, but that changes today.

One of my favorite authors ever has had two books on her list and that’s all I need to know.

Covenant is one of the books. I’m only a few chapters in but I can tell: an excellent, white-tie of a read. Cutting for Stone is Verghese’s other  masterpiece that was on Oprah’s list back in ’08.

The book’s genre is historical-fiction which I can’t get enough of. I mean, reading really good historical fiction is like learning history at the hands of a master author.

To sit and be enveloped in a gripping story while simultaneously learning how South and North Korea came to be (Pachinko); how Winston Churchill fought the Nazi military machine on his own long before the U.S. showed up (the Splendid and the Vile); and how the largest storm to ever hit America crashed into the history books (Isaac’s Storm) is one of the greatest luxuries of modern life. We all would have had a scored an A+ in our history classes if we’d had these books to devour.

Enjoy The Covenant of Water and let me know what you think. ♥

Pearl Five

“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.” – Winston Churchill ♥

Guess what I did last week? I had the master bedroom carpet professionally cleaned.

Omg. It’s been like an extended spa day.

I don’t need a diamond; I need my house detailed. Professional cleaners: I love you!

Have a wonderful weekend, all! And I’d love a follow on my new Facebook page and on my Instagram. (This is new for me to be social media -y)

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

♥, Wendy

My Cold-Tote that I LOVE
Best Books Ever

Hi Thrivers,

I swear, get to a certain age and you spend half your life in the doctor’s office. 🙂 ♥

Pearl One is from an earlier post. I believe so strongly in this method of bringing something great into our lives.

Pearl One

“We are bleeding money.”

Over the last four years my husband and I had been — 24/7 — diapering, feeding and caring for twin infants slash toddlers. Once my boys were semi-functional, I was raring to take family-trips to Lake Tahoe, the beach, various Children’s Museums and so forth.

In short, I wanted our family to travel.

“We can afford to drive around the corner,” my husband said. “Call me when you arrive.”

Thanks to the ’08 crash, the planet was reeling. Money problems everywhere, houses not selling, belts tightening.

Even that said, Oh, the Places I Wanted to Go.

After my husband announced, “not a chance”, I didn’t argue or suggest ways we could “rob Peter to pay Paul,” or call my best friend crying about the dumb choice I’d made in a husband.

I said to myself only, “My. Kids. Will. Travel.” I felt those words into my very marrow. I had no idea how we’d find the bucks for travel; I only knew that – contrary to all of the evidence around me – we were going places.

And we did.

Here’s how it went down.

After a handful of false starts, I asked an editor-friend who produced a local parenting magazine if she’d be interested in a travel column.

She jumped at the idea and — with that email to Barb — I’d created a small job for myself. My family and I traveled and after each trip, I’d write about our experiences for Barbara’s mag. (We had a blast and, I was getting paid — not a ton — but still.)

Was it a fluke?

Back then, I didn’t have the vocab to talk about why my travel-determination worked, but I knew something – outside of the ordinary – had taken place and I wanted to figure out what it was, so that I could replicate my results.
Here’s what I learned.

Turns out, those in the coaching world – like Tony Robbins — call what I stumbled upon “massive action.” Tony Robbins didn’t invent massive action any more than
Ben Franklin invented electricity, but they both noticed a reality and pointed it out to the world.

To me, massive action is feeling — into the very fiber of my being — that something I want will happen (come hell or high water).

Before I knew the term “massive action,” I called it “leaving no stone unturned.” Quick example: Long before I had kids, I had to pass a licensing exam and I used “no stone unturned” to study for the big, scary test. I did everything conceivable to pass, and I figured, if I didn’t pass then it must be due to something outside of my control.

But I passed. (And trust me, every stone was turned.)

How Massive Action Works

Massive action is happening when you throw everything you can possibly think of at a project or a problem until the door swings open.
It’s when you’re at your most determined.

When you go massive action on something that matters deeply to you, it’s almost as if the Universe says, “Oh, brother. This mom in California will not stop knocking at the door. Just give her travel so we can get onto other things.”

Writing is Your Portal

To know what’s going on in your heart and head, write. Writing is free therapy and is always there for you. Free-write in the mornings. Free-write like nobody is going to read it (because they won’t). Free-write to discover what makes you tick.

Every morning, ask yourself these questions and see what your super sophisticated brain spills forth:

• What does future-me in six months most want?
• What are five things that matter most to me in life?
• If I had a life mission, what would it be? (Give three life mission answers.)
• What is something that matters to me that the rest of our culture tends to overlook?

Consciously Using Massive Action

Once I heard the term “massive action,” I was far more successful in wielding its power. Through the last ten or so years, here’s how I’ve added to my life using massive action:

My sister and I – who, at one-time, couldn’t talk on the phone for twenty-minutes without both of flying off the handle – are currently going on four years of a loving, argument-free relationship.

I added a recumbent trike to my life that was “too pricey to afford,” but thanks to massive action, I bought a demo model that wiped $1500 off the price tag (plus it came with a bunch of upgrades and I didn’t pay shipping).

I massive actioned us into a gorgeous home in Atlanta just eight-minutes from my husband’s job (a commute practically unheard of in Atlanta).

Your challenge:

Think massive action is too woo-woo for your life and probably doesn’t work anyway? Okay, then try this challenge: choose one thing you’d like to have in your life that’s just a tad out of reach. (Let’s start slow.)

Then apply massive action to your project:

One

Begin by writing about your project. What will you feel when you’ve brought home the new item/lifestyle? (Write about ten feelings you’ll experience when you lose twenty pounds, slide that new kayak into the river, or hand over $1,000 to your favorite charity.)

Two

Free-write ten common sense actions you can take to attain your item/lifestyle.

Three

Now free-write ten insane, totally wild actions you can take to attain your goal. (As in, “I could steal a kayak, I could build my own” and so forth. As Prince said, “Let’s go crazy.”)

Four

Now, take action from your list, all the while telling yourself that stopping is not an option. Just keep on keeping on:

If it takes longer than you’d assumed, keep going.

If it’s much harder than you’d imagined, also keep going. (Your mantra: we can do hard things.)

If the December holidays, your birthday, rain, snow, a hot summer, a bad cold etc creates more of an obstacle than you’d anticipated, keep going: no excuse to stop.

The main directive: don’t stop writing, experiencing your feelings, and engaging in action until that kayak is under your butt in the river.

That said, here’s one wrinkle in the massive action story:

Let’s say, I want to walk into my garage and find a gorgeous, fire-engine red Jeep waiting for me. But – and this is key – I don’t want the Jeep to the exclusion of my sons’ (pricey) lessons like theater, piano, and Krav Maga.

Or say I love the ocean and want to live near it, but uprooting my kids from Atlanta is a deal-killer. (The boys would be horrified to leave friends, infrastructure and so forth.)

And say I need a weekly bathroom cleaner. (Don’t we all?) But at $100 a week (or more), it’s a no-go currently because of the boys’ many lessons.

You see, I only go massive action on an item or lifestyle if I know — from my free-writing — that I won’t let a single thing stop me from achieving that change in my life. Sure, I could go all massive action and put a gorgeous red Jeep in my garage, but I know that other goals that also truly matter to me would go sideways.

Massive action can only happen if nothing will stand in our way of getting what we want like – in my case — family travel, or getting along with my sister, or buying a recumbent trike.

I massive action something that matters to me – as long as the item/lifestyle doesn’t threaten other aspects of my life that are also high priorities (like my family and animals). ♥

Pearl Two

I have a new Costco food I want to share with everyone. As you know, I’m a huge believer in the REP way of eating – breakfast like a king, lunch like a princess, and eat dinner like a pauper.

The last time I was in Costco, on a whim, I added their “organic acai bowls” to my cart (found in frozen near huge bag of frozen strawberries and blueberries).

For some reason I thought the acai bowls had a dessert element to them, but they don’t. They have more of a crunch, granola, blueberry vibe.

At first, I wasn’t impressed, but after eating all six bowls I now think, “these guys are tasty.”

They’re vegan, gluten free, and with the little packet of granola-like crunchy things you put on top of these bowls, the calorie count comes to just 180. Not bad, right?

Last week I wrote about trying to stick with only five-ingredient foods, but this bowl is way more than five.

I can’t emphasize enough that to stay on the Smart Eating Path, keeping your food fun and interesting is major-league important. Make at least one meal in your day something you really love. ♥

Pearl Three

June’s topic for the month: what cannot be an afterthought in our smart eating lives. Every week we’ll talk circumstances that require hard-core planning rather than “winging it.”

• June 2 topic: We’re heading into vacation-season, do you have a plan about how and what you’ll eat on your trip?
• June 9 topic: Do you have a plan for how you’ll handle the negative-food that “shows up” in your kitchen?
• June 16 topic: Do you have a written plan for the moments when you’re furious or super sad? If your former “fix” to these emotions was food, have you given conscious thought to how you’ll manage the overflow of feelings without food around?

I should tell you that when I was losing the final of fifty-five pounds, I was furiously determined (is that a term?) about getting down to my preferred weight. At the time I was losing, I was still attending WW sessions every week. Just as I’d lost the last five pounds, we moved to VA and WW meetings came to an end.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I understood that my coping mechanism was food and that I had to figure out better ways of dealing with bad feelings.

My go-tos. Reading, rock music, shower or bath, doing things like coloring my hair or doing my nails, listening to an inspirational podcast; my list helped me get through rough times and overwhelming emotional moments. Definitely getting away from the TV and the kitchen were part of the success too.

My mind-shifts. It was a huge shift for me to write to myself from future-me. I wrote from that evening-me, tomorrow-me, autumn-me, five years from now-me and so forth. In my journal I told current-me how much I appreciated that she did a, b, c for me (like lock-in a fantastic habit, or do things over the summer that I loved).

I also was into the idea of micro-rewards. I’d talk to myself and say, “This evening is a tough one. If we stick to our eating plan and go to bed early, have a hot shower, and read a great book: we’ll get a pedicure tomorrow.” But here’s the thing: you must follow-through. Don’t tell yourself, “Do well tonight and I’m buying those pricey earrings you liked!” (And then the next day bail on the idea because the earring are just plain too expensive. You never want her to feel tricked.)

Reasonable rewards for the next day are like a two-hour block of reading time, getting the car cleaned, or even purchasing an inexpensive pool float.

Planning your hard times before they happen is like 80-percent of the job handled. ♥  

Pearl Four

The Girl with the Louding Voice by Abi Daré is a coming-of-age novel by a powerhouse of a writer. Her daughters encouraged their mom to write her first book and omg is it good. Daré has an MA in creative writing from Birkbeck, University of London along with other degrees. She’s a brain.

Her book reminds me a lot of the internist Khaled Hosseini who wrote the acclaimed novels: The Kite Runner (2003) and its follow-up A Thousand Splendid Suns (2007).

The Girl with the Louding Voice is about a poor girl growing up in Nigeria. How she learns and grows in a wealthy household is a testament to resilience and strength.

Daré’s book won The Bath Novel Award for unpublished manuscripts in 2018 and was selected as a finalist in 2018 for The Literary Consultancy Pen Factor competition.   Absolutely five-stars. ♥

Pearl Five

It is facile (something done easily without an understanding of the difficulty involved) to imply that smoking, alcoholism, overeating, or other ingrained patterns can be upended without real effort. Genuine change requires work and self-understanding of the cravings driving behaviors.”

— Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business ♥

I love this quote so much because it flies directly in the face of our world’s diet-culture who love to yammer on about how losing and preserving weight “is easy.”

Total baloney sauce.

But, I will tell you, that while it’s not easy, it is learnable. It’s doable. It sounds trite to say, “if I can, you can.” I only wish you had known me from childhood to my mid-30s. You would have met someone who always had food on the brain and never fit into most (all?) of her clothes.

I’m headed to the pool this weekend (it’s something autumn-me asked for). I love the pool, I just don’t like the work involved like putting on a bathing suit, walking to the pool, putting on sunscreen, hoping I’ll find an umbrella and blah, blah, blah.

Have a sun-block weekend, everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Best Dessert-Books on the Planet

If you’re tempted this weekend, just remind yourself you can have your treat in the morning with coffee. Still want 4th of July dessert? Think: pretty popsicles, macaroni at Trader Joe’s or Costco, and watermelon. And always keep your cold-tote full and by your side.

Hi Thrivers,

I’m spending the entire weekend taking my clutter to the local dog and cat thrift store for drop-off. It feels so good to get rid of stuff that I didn’t even know I had anymore. ♥

Pearl One

I get it. The many how-to-have-the-best-body types have their own ideas about what is smart eating and what’s not. It’s crazy-confusing when one “expert” encourages saving a dessert for the morning while the another is clearly in the all-sugar-is-bad camp.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the “dueling experts” idea after a Thriver sent an email saying that her favorite fitness guy espouses the no-sugar way of living. This man did an amazing job of taking his body from pudgy to ripped so I’m guessing that his readers are those who lift weights and want to eat well to optimize their workouts.

All good.

Here’s the thing:  This man is totally right. Zero sugar is the gold-standard for optimal health.

But he and I have two different approaches to losing and preserving a loss because we have two different end-games.

He’s teaching others how to live their best weight lifting-life that leaves no room for sugar.

Whereas I’m addressing the psychological reasons for overeating and binge-eating in women over fifty, a topic he probably doesn’t want to touch.

When you and I transfer our nighttime sugar raids to eating one dessert in the morning with our coffee, we’re slowly weaning ourselves off of sugar. (That said, if even a bite of chocolate triggers you into a week of overeating, clearly having a brownie at breakfast won’t work for you, for now.)

I’d like to get us to zero nighttime eating. Eating one dessert at night generally turns into more: a bowl of ice cream becomes two, one cupcake turns into three. And, let’s face it, a lot of us pile the ice cream and cupcakes together for the best dessert ever.

You see my point.

By scheduling the treat in the morning were doing the following:

1) We’re extinguishing the evening habit of having two, three or more desserts at night. We’re putting sugar into a time of day when few of us go overboard on a treat and eat too much. 

2) We’re helping ourselves “not  feel cheated” because “everyone” is having desserts after dinner.

3) Our bodies don’t grip onto calories the way they do at night. I know this is a controversial idea, but those in the field of science are starting to take note, and it sure works in my life..

Basically, I’m coming more from a let’s use mind-sets and strategies to keep our weight down after age fifty. And he’s coming from an “optimizing our food, for a better lifting body” viewpoint.

Here’s the upshot: the longer I told myself I could have my dessert in the morning, I’d find that I didn’t want sugar in the morning. I mean, sometimes yes, but for the most part I reach for cereal instead. ♥ 

Pearl Two

Trust me, if I allowed certain treats into my home, they wouldn’t be safe. My brain would say, “it’s only oatmeal. In cookie-form. Okay, with sugar. But – really — what’s the big deal? It’s just oatmeal?”

I’m about to rant. I’m afraid I’ll sound smug and pompous, but I’m not. I just think I look at food-porn differently than the average bear.

In the same week, I read two different people talk nonchalantly about food-porn: a blogger said, “I had a Sonic Blast and I refuse to feel guilty about it.” (A Sonic Blast is a milkshake with your choice of M&Ms, Snickers, Peanut Butter Cups or Butterfingers.)

Food-porn on steroids.

The man, a guy with an extreme obesity issue who writes about very much wanting to lose weight, said something similar and described how he wandered around a store while nursing a milkshake.

But the milkshakes aren’t my point. We all have our version of the milkshake and I’m certainly no different than you.

My point is the attitude both the blogger and writer shared. The blogger wrote that she “refused to feel guilty” and the guy’s essay was written in a very blase voice, he treated his junk-food like “it’s just one milk shake” type of thing.

Do I want them to beat themselves up? Of course not.

That’s a quick ride to nowheres-ville.

The part that bothers me is that they don’t yet get that our brains only need one milkshake to establish a habit. You might be thinking, “Well, they each had only one milkshake. Thing is, our cavewoman brain is a like three-year-old. Do something super fun one time and — as she sees it — a habit has been instilled.

No discussion. It’s done.

We don’t have to have six milk shakes to embed an awful habit that will be tough to correct.

It just takes one time.

So, when I’m eyeing the fancy cookies that The Scarfer keeps in his stash I ask myself this heavy-lifter of a question:

Is this thing I’m about to do or eat, add to my strong habits or take me down the overeating road?

This question reminds me that I don’t need to have three, four or five milkshakes to form a habit. ♥

I only need one. ♥

Pearl Three

June’s topic for the month: what cannot be an afterthought in our smart eating lives. Every week we’ll talk circumstances that require hard-core planning rather than “winging it.”

I love the term “sweet spot.” It’s a fun way to talk about something particularly wonderful like, “my sweet spot for reading a great book is at night, in my cozy bed.”

But what if we flip the script and talk about a “bitter spot” as in, “my bitter spot for choosing porn-food is definitely right after dinner.”

So much power and magic appear when we’ve taken planning seriously. In your journal, write about your bitter spots and how you’ll address them.

Take it one day at a time. And rewrite a new plan every single morning.

Writing a plan for your bitter spot March 1 and never looking at it again until June 1 is no way to deal with a bitter spot. Every single morning write a brand new plan detailing how you’ll bookend your bitter spot with smart activities. ♥  

Pearl Four

The readers in the book clubs I follow on Facebook rave about Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus. Some even say it’s their most favorite book of the year. And these people read a lot.

But be forewarned: the cover of this book gives the assumption that it’s a rom-com or chick lit. It’s neither. It’s a thoughtful story filled with dry humor somewhat like The 100 Year OId Man Who Jumped Out of the Window and Disappeared.

Many call this book A+. I’m more in the A- camp. A great read, but my two favorites so far this year:

A Woman of No Importance the Untold Story of the American Spy Who Helped Win World War II by Sonia Purnell. This woman was such a success at her “work” that she was considered the most feared spy by the Nazis.

The Beauty of Dusk by Frank Bruni. An absorbing memoir about his life and a tough medical situation. ♥

Pearl Five  

“Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.” ― Angela Duckworth ♥

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

How to find the treasure in your next binge or overeat.

Pearl One

When this smart eating hack occurred to me, it practically knocked my flip-flops off.

Let’s say you overate a little bit or maybe you overate a lot of bit.

Right here, at this feeling-gross-moment, is where the treasure lies.

I understand that you not feeling so great, but challenge yourself to write a letter or a journal-entry to your future self.

The idea is to see what went downhill and lead to a binge. Write about and think your letter often. Of course, this method isn’t 100 percent, but it will go miles in addressing overeating or bingeing. Make it a habit: overeat? Journal-write about it.

Write at least a paragraph to these questions (this is not the time to be word-stingy).

• How do you feel – in your body — right now? (Ex: Stomach ache, want to throw up etc.)
• How do you feel emotionally at this moment? (Ex: I’m so mad at myself. I was doing so well around food and I messed everything up for what?! Margaritas and chips? Wendy’s note: try to keep in mind that you’re normal.)
• If you’re mad at you, what do you tell yourself at this moment? (Ex: I’m so dumb, what’s wrong with me, why am I so weird around food? etc.)
• If your internal voice is harsh and critical, where do you think you first heard this type of criticism? (Knowing is important not for blaming purposes, but so that we can address the criticism at its roots.)
• At that, stack the times in your adult life when you’ve been responsible. Stack at least five. Then do something you couldn’t do as a kid: talk back to the voice who called you names.
• Write at least three paragraphs on what you’d say to the voice who called you an airhead, again, all in your journal only (“I was twelve!” “I was still learning in life!” Who calls a child an airhead anyhow?!”).
• What you most want for future-you (give at least three ideas).
• What do you want future-you to know: (Ex: that it feels awful to overeat because. . .)
• Do you know specifically what triggers you into eating too much?
• How can you address the triggers so they lose their power?
• How do you wish you’d responded instead of overeating?
• How can you make it more attractive (from Atomic Habits) to stay the Smart Eating Path? (Ex: I can always keep my favorite healthy food on-hand, not get overly hungry, not talk to that combative family member on the phone when I’m too close to the binge food etc. etc.).
• Can you write suggestions re: what you wished you’d done instead of overeat?

The essential idea is to teach future-you about how terrible it feels to give in. And then give strong ideas that would better than overeating.]And last, revisit your letter as often as needed. Keep it front-and-center in your daily. ♥

Pearl Two

I can turn any food into a “bingeable.” Acknowledging to myself that I’d always use food to comfort, celebrate or numb-out is just how I’m built.

As you know, it’s cake over wine every time.

Acknowledging that I’ll always default head-first into food is an annoying thought, but I also know more about myself and can therefore handle the overeating tendency that much better. ♥

Pearl Three

June’s topic for the month: what cannot be an afterthought in our smart eating lives.

Today’s topic: we’re heading into summer vacations and planning how and what you’ll eat on the trip needs to be given serious planning.

I’ve been a travel writer for sixteen years now, and I never gained weight on trips. Having a solid plan in place and not winging it moment by moment gets all the credit. Whether I was traveling by car or plane, I knew exactly how the food-situation would go down.

Bottom line: Know before you go

Pearl Four

Our book-dessert slot!
You are owed an apology. And the Mountains Echoed by one of my favorite authors, Khaled Hosseini, should have been one of the first book-desserts I shared. The book’s genre falls under both “historical fiction” and “domestic fiction.”

Total honesty: if I’d read a description about this title’s plot I’d have thought, “pass.” But I’d already read Hosseini’s other two masterpieces — The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns – so I was all in. When I came up with the idea of book-dessert it was because of books like And the Mountains Echoed

So, that’s my review: 100 percent. (And again, my apologies.) ♥

Pearl Five

  “Living is the art of getting used to what you don’t expect.” Eleanor C. Wood ♥

If you haven’t yet read Aunt Bea, just shoot me an email: Wendy@WendyIrvineWriter.com! 🙂

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

One of my favorite parts of summer.

Photo by ShengGeng Lin on Unsplash

Hello Thrivers!

If you’re brand new to The Inspired Eater welcome!

If you haven’t yet read Aunt Bea you’ll find her to your right on this screen under my short bio. This blog won’t make a lot of sense without a thorough reading of Aunt Bea. If she doesn’t soon land in your email, she might have gone to spam. But if she doesn’t show up at all just email me at Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Pearl One

The thing about great vacations is that they come to an end, sometimes in more ways than one.

So, there my husband and I were on the longish drive back to our home outside of Atlanta from our beach vacay.  

I should tell you, I’m not great with six hour car rides.

Bored and annoyed I announced at the first rest stop, “I need peanut M&Ms” and headed for the vending machines. (Yes, while giving the finger to my smart eating plan.)

My husband said, “No. I have a ton of treats in the car. There’s plenty.”

So, for that reason, I figured it was fine if I ate not one, but two crumb cakes.

At the second rest stop I mentioned eating a crumb cake and that’s when my husband put up his two fingers as in, two. You ate two crumb cakes.

At that, I hit the roof.

And we were off to the races squabbling about one stupid thing after another.

Many days later I began to see why I’d gotten so livid.

Turns out, my body might be 57-years-old and and leaner than I’d ever dreamed, but my brain is still a pudgy 8-year-old who endured awful comments about her body and weight from every avenue of life.

By the third grade, I’d learned that eating in front of people brought not-good attention.

That evening on the drive home, I wasn’t an adult with great eating habits, I was a chunky 8-year-old who assumed my husband was calling me a fatso.

This is a good time to tell you that the day before our drive home, my husband made a trip to the grocery store, but before he left asked for a food list for the ride. I gave him my usual apples, carrots and a healthy sandwich list. (Note to self: a bit of something fun to eat on a long car ride is cheaper than marriage counseling.)

Here’s the thing, I might be going on 17 years of maintaining a 55 lb. weight loss, but my brain hasn’t fully caught up with my body.

Our human brains are the most complex on the planet, and we can be triggered back to 1972 in a nano.

Takeaway

Remember that there’s a powerful reason to lose weight slowly. Our brains need time to recognize the new geographical layout.

One of the smartest changes to healthy eating we can make is to learn to welcome plateaus. They give our brains time to catch up with our bodies.

But also keep close to your heart that if there’s been trauma around food and weight, we might be lean and mean into our 90s, we’ll still occasionally knee-jerk react when someone in our lives is p***ed we ate his crumb cakes.

But at 96 years old?  Tell him you had three. ♥

Pearl Two

This is a fun way to lose/maintain after 50.

Take notes.

What do I mean? Literally take notes on a day-to-day basis about how you’re making it happen. Write about the many micro-decisions involved in losing after 50. Write notes about the wonderful, the totally annoying and the really reliable. Include inspirational books you’ve read, cooking shows you’ve stopped watching, more sleep you’re getting; write about everything.

Keeping these notes isn’t like journal-writing. Plan to one-day share how you lost/maintain after 50. As you go through your day of smart eating, document everything with the long-game being that you’ll share this valuable intell with the coming generation (who will – trust me – applaud you for not leaving them to reinvent the wheel). ♥

Pearl Three

Our July topic is habits: how to develop an amazing habit, how to dump a bad one.

I learned the most about how valuable cues are to forming a habit from James Clear’s book Atomic Habits. If you haven’t yet read this life-changing book, order it now, I’ll wait.

Cues. We use them continually through our days. You know how a flute of champagne today reminds you of a spectacular resort weekend from decades back where you had an incredible glass of champagne; how Realtors suggest you bake cookies before showing your home; or how holding a newborn takes you to the first time you held your precious baby?

The taste of champagne, the aroma of cookies and the feel of cradling a baby are all cues, and they’re so ingrained in our psyches that we don’t even think twice about them.

But instead of cues “just happening” to us unconsciously – I never knew why I was scared of German shepherds until my mom reminded me that I’d been chased as a kid – the habit-experts are urging us to use them on a super “on purpose” level.

Watch the Gems Spill Forth

Take a few to journal-write about the habits you’d love to establish in your life. (I deeply believe that journal-writing is the best and most inexpensive form of therapy I know.)

Ask yourself which habits you’d like to establish. Then write about why you want to establish this habit. Get super granular about your “why.” Finally, add a list of cues that will bring your habit to life.

My cues to establish a Pilates class habit: really cute workout clothes displayed on my bed pre-workout, the date of my Pilates class noted in pink on my calendar, and a specific scent that I use in the morning only the days of my class.

Let’s share cues. What cues on you using to develop your new habit? ♥

Pearl Four

You know how I believe that eating a tiny dinner will produce massive results? (Because it totally does.) Well, summer is the best season for giving the teensy dinner plan a go.

Here’s my summer go-to dinner:

I make a smallish salad with spring mix, petite carrots, baby tomatoes, and cucumber. I layer it in one teaspoon of olive oil – a healthy fat that I need, enough said — and as much balsamic vinegar that I want (Costco’s from Italy is OMG). And if I don’t have spring mix I make a salad out of whatever veggies I have in the fridge.

With the salad I’ll eat a medium sized ear of corn (85 calories, two grams of fiber, and 1.4 grams of fat). The trick being that I don’t douse my ear in butter. I use a bit of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” and/or a light sprinkling of salt. (What you’ve heard is true: the more you eat veggies without the high-caloric butter and sauces, the tastier they become over time.)

And I have – my favorite fruit on the planet – watermelon. Et Voila! By 6:30 p.m. at the latest, I’m finished eating for the day. ♥

Pearl Five

Really successful people feel the same lack of motivation as everyone else.  The difference is that they still find a way to show up despite the feelings of boredom.” – James Clear, Atomic Habits ♥

If you’ve liked these Pearls, please feel free to share with friends and family.

I kayaked again last night. I have two classes each month through September. Very fun, very peaceful.

Make it a beautiful weekend, Thrivers!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

I’ve been asked if I could include something like Buy me a Coffee on the Inspired Eater. So if you feel up to sending a coffee, I am a devotee. You’ll find the coffee “button” to your right. And, as always, thank you so much for reading the Inspired Eater. ♥♥♥

Photo by Kalen Emsley.

Wish me luck; I’ll take heat for this one.

I was never a worker-outer. I’m Team Napper.

For those of us trying to lose, working out doesn’t actually work.

Hear me out.

Say you swim like Michael Phelps (most decorated Olympian with twenty-eight medals), then yes, your caloric intake won’t have a prayer against your energy output.

Turns out, Phelps famously ate 8,000 to 10,000 calories (!!!) a day in his prime and still found it challenging to get enough food.

That said, muggles like you and me don’t work out like Phelps. Most of us take yoga classes or bike three miles, five times a week, call it good, and head to the nearest fridge. Even a long day of snow skiing doesn’t require the amount of calories Phelps needed to bring home the gold.

How a Sweaty Workout Does Do a Body Good.

Here’s what I finally figured out: Working out for reasons other than weight control is vital for a healthy body and state of mind especially when we’re on the other side of menopause. For example:

• Taking a long walk to get my sweet German shepherd his needed exercise: smart for me and River.
• Working out for endorphins to feel high without the side effects of drugs: brilliant.
• Getting sweaty to keep my heart fit and – hopefully – avoid the dementia that has long swept like wildfire throughout my family: again, brilliant.

But working out to help me lose weight?

No, never happened.

And scientists are just now catching on to what we’ve long suspected: lowering our food intake is really the only path to successful weight loss especially after age 50.

The Important Basics I Needed to Lose Fifty-Five

One

Committing to a great eating plan — I call it a structure — turned out to be critical for long-term success. I’ve used the Weight Watchers original point system since 1997, but there’s no particular magic to WW. Any healthy eating plan works if makes the most sense for your life and if you can imagine using it for decades to come.

Also vital: keep a pretty tracker with a pen next to your fridge to track what goes into your mouth daily. Studies are firm: those who document what they eat, are the most successful. And remember, “pretty” matters. No keeping track on old envelopes or the back of receipts. A spiral notebook is best. The spiral part makes it easier to record your eating. You also want to keep track so that you can go back in time and see what’s worked and what hasn’t work.

Two

As I lost weight, I focused only on establishing rock star eating habits:

First I committed to my eating structure (WW) and only after my WW habits were solidly established did I create a strong habit of intermittent fasting for 14 to 16 hours each day. Specifically I stop eating by 6:30 p.m.

My thought: attempting to create too many habits at once is a recipe for failure. One fully installed positive habit is way better than five squishy habits.

Three

I used my favorite study to extinguish my evening sugar habit (what do you mean there’s no confetti?). The first two weeks were rough — no fib — but by week three, sugar was in my rear-view. Details on how I eliminated sugar here.

How long does it take to establish smart habits like tracking your daily intake? My favorite study by a group of researchers in England discovered that we need sixty-six days to create a behavior that is reliable and becomes like second nature. (Published in 2009 in the European Journal of Social Psychology.)

Why I Did Not Do Hard Workouts while Losing

Other than long walks with my River (GSD), I didn’t add work outs to my days until I’d maintained my weight loss for years. Only then did I add yoga and Pilates, and finally stumbled onto my forever workout activity that I love (recumbent trike-riding). Updated on 8-28-22: I might know how to lose/maintain weight after 50, but I’m still a fawn on wobbly legs when it comes to working out. I’m learning that doing different types of working out is the best for mind and body.

Okay, I’m ready to take the heat for this post. Tell me what you think. Does working out help your weight loss or send you on the hunt for a hot fudge sundae?

Ready for take off! (Get it?) 🙂

♥, Wendy