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As beautiful and wondrous as December can be, it also delivers a wallop of calories, calories, and more calories.  It’s a difficult month for everyone; the “live a little!” vibe seems to permeate every corner of the season.

So, I figured what we need is a solid December-eating game plan that sees us playing offense rather than defense.

Pull out your journal for strategizing the holiday. For example, each morning let’s journal-write about where the obstacles will likely be for that particular day. Let’s write down the toughest parts of the day and then add a solution to each difficulty. Again, we’re making a new plan each morning.

Agreeing to write a new mission plan for each day in December encourages us to engage with our unconscious well before we go off course and eat willy-nilly.

So, in my journal tomorrow morning I might write something like this:

Tuesday December 12-3-24

Obstacle #1: I know there’s leftover apple pie in the fridge, but since Matt loves it so much I won’t squirt ketchup on it and throw it in the trash.

My game plan: I’ll wrap the pie slice and hide the visual from myself in the fridge. (I use my “out of sight, out of my mind” muscle every single day).

Obstacle #2: I have lunch with Julie today. She picked meeting at La Creama because it’s close to her office.

My game plan: first, before I leave the house, I’ll pull up the La Creama’s menu online. I will see quickly that this adorable bakery and lunch spot is calorie-central. I study the menu on my screen for a long moment – because the menu is brimming in high calorie food — and then finally pick the egg and bagel sandwich with cream cheese on the side so I can smear a little on versus the thick smears they may spread on the bagel. I specifically need to ask that cream cheese be placed on the side. (But if the sandwich shows up with cream cheese on the bagel, I scrape most it off and use just a little.)

As I’m perusing the menu I see in the kid’s section a “fresh berry cup.” I’ll order that too. (Occasionally I order from the kid’s menu because the portion size is so good. ) I write it all down so I won’t forget when it’s time to order.

Then I take a good long look at the menu and try to find a good Plan B if Plan A doesn’t work for some reason. Plan B will be La Creama’s oatmeal with blueberries along with the fruit cup. I write my game plan out and put the paper into my purse.

Once at La Creama I order the egg and bagel sandwich with cream cheese on the side and the fresh fruit cup. I notice how easy I’ve made restaurant-dining easier for myself.

La Crema is known for its excellent coffee so that’s where I put my focus for the lunch. I order my favorite latte.

I also consciously decide to pick a table away from the display case of gorgeous calories because I know that the food is meant to be alluring. I consciously remind myself why I’m at La Creama in the first place: to see Julie and catch up and not dig into the food-porn.

Obstacle #3: After lunch, I plan to visit a specialty food shop to get a Christmas gift for my son. The food shop will be a challenge because like La Creama, the place is brimming in stunning calories.

My game plan: If I’m getting a mite hungry, I eat the banana I brought in my cold-tote (placed in the side pocket) to take the edge off my hunger before I head into the store.

Why am I hungry after lunch? Julie and I talked a long while after we’d eaten. And since I never stuff myself, I’m often hungry about two hours later. Hence the banana. (I don’t play the I’ll-be-fine game.

When you wake up in December, write a new obstacle plan for yourself and remember December is all about preserving our current weight and taking what I call a “holding” break.. This month our priority is strengthening our habits. That”s it!

In my history, I was snacking too much to ever feel all that hungry. Looking back, I thought everyone left Mexican restaurants feeling Thanksgiving-stuffed. That was me: I overate and then went back to hardcore dieting. Overeat, then under-eat. Over and over the pendulum would swing for almost three decades.

Today I literally never overeat. My goal is to walk away from the table with my stomach on neutral. I don’t feel full or empty; my stomach loves to live somewhere in the space between hungry and full.

Let’s spend this holiday season never once stuffing ourselves or under-eating. This holiday season it’s all about preserving our smart habits.

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from knee-jerk reacting to responding to circumstances. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

  • Situation: My Husband makes fun of me and says that if I was going to lose weight it would have happened by now. He rolls his eyes.
  • Chosen thought: I’m an individual inside this marriage. Jack might not get the point of what I’m doing and that’s okay. He can have his own thoughts.
  • Feeling: I’m feeling proud that I had my own back enough to say, “we don’t need to eat the same way and we can a loving relationship.”
  • Action: Pulls out journal and starts writing about herself.
  • Result: Our girl stays on the Smart Eating Path and her husband eventually gets it. But most importantly she gets it.

Hello Molly! by Molly Shannon saw me “making the conscious choice” to read past my bedtime thinking, “just one more chapter.”  This funny woman from Saturday Night Live opens with the car accident that killed both her mom and little sister when Molly was just four-years-old. It sounds sad which of course it is, but then Hello Molly! spins into the most amazing stories of her child and young adulthood.

She’s sixty, my age exactly. And the things she was doing in the 1970’s is unforgettable. (I might have “doorbell ditched” as a kid, but I never was as cool as Molly.)

Also, it wasn’t a hop, skip and jump to SNL for Molly. She graduated at age of twenty-two (give or take) and didn’t join SNL until she was thirty-five. Those thirteen years in between was Molly hustling like you wouldn’t believe. She’s the epitome of a go-getter to the core. If you love memoirs, Hello Molly! Is an outstanding book-dessert.

I already know what giving up feels like. I want to see what happens if I don’t.”

Neila Rey

Please join me this week in being imperfect and going for it anyhow.

And if you’ve enjoyed this post please send to a friend!

Just 22 days and 13 hours until Christmas! Yikes.

Did I mention that I had twins in 2003? My great aunt Martha also had twins, but she had hers way back in the 1940s.

That first year with my babies, I walked around in a stupor often wondering how on earth Aunt Martha survived that first year with twins without basic conveniences: no dishwasher, no luxury twin stroller, no Diaper Genie?!”

Convenience. Big fast-food has stolen the very idea of “convenience food” and kept it as their very own, but it’s high-time we take it back.

Fast-food appeared on the culinary-landscape back in the Roaring Twenties in the last century.

Back then, nobody could have foreseen how family-owned hamburger-stands would morph into behemoth corporations that are today offering “meals” drowned in sugar, salt, saturated and trans fats, and processed preservatives.

By the 1970s fast-food became an integral part of our diet. What started as a novel meal to have once in a while, sprouted into 36.6 percent of us eating fast food on any given day.

Fast-food has turned into fatty-liver food.

Here’s my plan for taking back convenience. Any Sunday afternoon (I block it out on my calendar), you’ll find me in the kitchen, glass of wine by my side, and Linda Ronstadt on the playlist doing the following:

  • Slicing apples (a little lemon on apples keeps them from browning), bagging red grapes and strawberries.
  • Cooking and bagging many servings of brown rice.
  • Hard boiling four or five eggs.
  • Bagging baby carrots in individual servings (it’s a habit to eat baby carrots when I run errands).
  • Baking homemade muffins (banana, pumpkin or apple).

Keeping easy to grab smart food at your fingertips is a key to a forever-loss. The whole idea is to adroitly side-step the endless fast-food drive-thrus that pepper our world and keep your refrigerator packed in healthy “easy to grab food. ”

You know the theory that says our bodies have a “set weight point” and that we can’t change it? My experience has been the absolute opposite. Here’s how I did it.

My theory is that when we lose weight quickly our bodies default into survival-mode (go cavewoman). To you and me we’re merely eating smart food and working to get down to our preferred weight.

But to our cavewoman – the one who kept our ancestors from being eaten many years ago – our very life is at stake. The cavewoman feels us “under-eating” and wakes up to save us from dying. Remember: she has one job and she’s superb at it.

The sure way to wake her up is to lose weight rapidly. To keep her snoozing pretend that you’re walking around on tiptoes allowing your baby to sleep. Our only goal is to keep our cavewoman blissfully unaware by losing weight slowly. We don’t want to panic her. Panicking her is where the problems start.

Let’s say you’ve lost ten pounds, but want to lose twenty more. Don’t get disappointed if the scale’s number won’t budge or you still can’t fit into the pants size you want. If you’re on the path to losing weight, your body simply needs time to adjust.

In the old days, “I’ve a hit a plateau” meant that we were doing something wrong or that the diet itself was a dud. Too many days of a plateau saw us “give up” and return to “eating normally again” (aka overeating).

It’s time to take back plateaus for the supportive angels that they actually are. I hit several plateaus when I was losing. I’m not sure where it came from, but something inside told me that a plateau was a valuable shift, not something bad, but something really good. I started to see plateaus as necessary because my body needed time to adjust to the new normal.

And, it’s not just our body that needs time to adjust: our minds do too. Say we have a woman who wants to lose thirty pounds. Our example goes to sleep weighing 180 pounds, she’s visited overnight by her fairy godmother who waves her wand and in the morning our example wakes up at 150 pounds. Problem is, in her heart she still “feels fat” and ends up eating herself back to 180 to keep her weight congruent with the thoughts about herself. She didn’t feel 150 and the number freaked her out. It’d be similar to having a baby one month and a high school teen the next.

If you’re in a plateau respect the time that your body is taking to adjust to your new size. When you next hit a plateau tell yourself, “I’m strengthening and holding, I can and am doing this.” (Print this pearl out and tape it on a wall near your scale.)

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

  • Situation (something super concrete):  A dear friend ghosted me. I haven’t spoken with her in five years now.
  • Automatic thought: It was a friendship that I wanted to retain for so many reasons.
  • Feeling: Sad and angry at myself for not maintaining a quality friendship.
  • Action: Five years ago, I tried calling her several times and left messages but heard nothing back.
  • Result: Beating up on myself.
  • Situation (something super concrete):  A dear friend ghosted me. I haven’t spoken with her in five years.
  • Chosen thought: people can outgrow each other. What felt right in the beginning can shift over time.
  • Feeling: more in the flow of things. The thought “normalizes” that my friend and I no longer speak.
  • Action: I give myself permission to feel better.
  • Result: I try to keep in mind that it isn’t always “all about me.” Sometimes, something else is going on in another person’s life that really has nothing to do with me.

Books love us and want us to be happy

It’s so cool to find a new author to follow and I’ve found one in Small Pleasures: a Novel by Clare Chambers. Set in 1950s England a woman with a humdrum life finds excitement. Called a “literary tour-de-force” Small Pleasures has been long-listed for the women’s Prize for Fiction. I’m just now into Small Pleasures and highly recommend. I’ll read her second book next.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.” Andy Rooney

Question for you. Do you live with a scarfer and would you like to “talk” about it? I’m writing on the subject of scarfers and need “been there” stories. A scarfer can range from “delicacy eating” to huge portion-eating. If you have one of these, I hope you’ll reach out! Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Have a beautiful week!

Hello Thrivers,

Once again, thank you for jumping to Mondays with me! I’m sitting here happy because I have a full bag of my favorite stir fry frozen veggies from Costco (you’ll find them next to the frozen strawberries).

My standard dinner is brown rice and vegetables from any store, but I love Costco’s by far the most.

As Shania says, “Let’s go, girls!

Working out is an absolute “must” for all of us of course, but every time I see a woman who looks like she’s being tortured huffing and puffing down the sidewalk, I want to stop the car, jump out and say, “You didn’t hear. Unless we’re training to be in the Navy Seals we don’t lose weight by chugging up and down the street.”

Weight loss is only impacted by what we eat (again, unless we’re a swimmer on the high school’s swim team).

My take? The best workout is choosing an activity that’s seriously fun for you because so much good comes from being active.

Endorphins from a workout are almost like a medication with the only side effects being a stronger heart (from cardio) and stronger muscles (from the we weights we lift). And an active lifestyle is said to combat falling and breaking a bone, several cancers, diabetes, and heart problems. Not to mention helping us sleep better at night and being less grumpy during the day.

Pick what’s most fun for you. I’ve seen women on the river kayaking, I’ve seen women surfing, and I’ve seen women taking long walks with their fur-kids. Pick a handful of activities you love and establish a strong habit of committing to your playtime five times a week.

The idea of getting sweaty everyday for thirty to forty minutes is the gold standard for healthy bodies. My point is: skip the unsustainable huffing and puffing and take a long walk instead. And consider adding weight lifting to your life too: every study tells us that weightlifting after age 50 is one of the best habits we”ll ever embed.

Way back when, I wouldn’t have understood it if someone had told me that motivation offers false hope and won’t help us lose weight. (I would’ve thought, “well, what else is there?!”)

But today having preserved my loss for 18 years now, I can tell you unequivocally that motivation plays no role in losing and maintaining for the long run after 50.

Motivation is like Endora from Bewitched, it pops up when it feels like it and that’s no way to craft a life. The only way to lose and maintain is to develop ironclad habits.

If you find yourself hoping for self-control or motivation, dip back into Atomic Habits by James Clear to remember how crucial smart habits are when we’re trekking this weight loss mountain.

As I was losing 55 pounds (after my aha moment), and went onto preserve the loss for 18 years at this point it became clear to me that calorie eaten at 9 p.m. are different from calories eaten in the morning.

For example, I’m convinced that breakfast like a king, lunch like a princess, and eat dinner like a pauper is what’s made everything work for me. I encourage readers to combine what I call the Royal Eating Plan (REP) style with their eating plan of choice (Mediterranean, WW, Mayo Clinic and so forth).

But here’s people who wrote it much better than I did: Bust the Myth.

And these two studies back up my own experience of losing and preserving:

Our culture has long trumpeted the idea that women “over a certain age” are simply out of luck if they’re hoping for a large loss after age 50 with a plan to maintain (preserve) the loss forever.

But here’s the deal, in these modern times you and I have smart eating tools and updated knowledge at our fingertips that our moms and grandmas never came close to having. It hurts my heart to think about how they approached weight loss, and how – while they might’ve pulled off ten or twenty pounds for a wedding or reunion – they had no idea how to preserve the loss for a lifetime.

Chuck the yesteryear playbook; we’re writing new rules to what women “of a certain age” can accomplish.

Years ago — when I had my “moment of clarity” (habits first, then scale) — and began to lose in earnest, I never once thought, “hey, establishing habits is easy!” Let’s be honest, losing weight and preserving for the long run takes dedication and the use of super cool, modern tools to navigate our food-as-far-as-the-eye-can-see culture. Getting a college degree, becoming a great musician, losing and preserving for a lifetime: none of it easy. The main culprit who promotes the idea of “dieting can be easy” is the diet-cartel, the very people who have the most to gain in this arrangement.

It’s funny, but the group that tells us to lose forty pounds before a surgery are the same peeps who can’t really tell us how to lose the 40 pounds and certainly don’t know anything about how to create a forever-loss.

If we’re being honest, we’ll admit that we once saw losing weight – or smart eating — as something “we did” such as, “I can’t wait to go off this diet so that I can have pizza again.”

Today we know that losing weight and preserving for a lifetime is what we’re shooting for. Learning how to live with pizza is the whole idea. I eat pizza two or three times a year and I keep it to one slice or if I want to eat more slices, I wrap them up and save them for the morning.

We no longer lose weight for the summer and gain it all back by the end of December.

We’re older, wiser and too tired to go along with the “weight loss is linear” myth that hogged all the limelight in the last century. Weaving smart, strong food habits into the very fiber of our being is the only way to a successful forever-loss.

Remember how we learned in middle school English to never — lol — use the words “always” or “never” when we write? Well, sorry Mrs. Garland, because here I go.

Do you want to know the one habit I never stray from? I always “Eat Before I Eat.” I never arrive at the dinner table, party, or restaurant hungry. Of course, I don’t show up full either, but you won’t hear me say, “I’m famished!!”

Here’s how to Eat Before You Eat: about thirty-minutes before a meal, have something easy like a handful of cherries, an open-face peanut butter with a touch of honey sandwich, carrots in hummus, a half-cup cottage cheese with grapes (one of my favorites), one banana and so forth. And if I’m driving to an event, I eat healthy snacks out of my adorable cold-tote.

Our mission: never begin a meal “starving”!

Taking the edge off our hunger by using the Eat Before You Eat tool is a massive game-changer because it puts us in the control-seat. No longer is the gorgeous plate of lasagna and crunchy garlic bread in charge.

Sorry beautiful food! Your spell over me is — poof! — gone.

Eat Before You Eat and your brilliant brain is back at the helm.

If you’d like me to include a bridge sequence just let me know in the comments below. This sequence is for all of us but especially new Thrivers:

P.S. I’m not anti-scale. I think there’s a time and place to use a scale, but strong food habits are what will have your back for a forever-loss.

This is our book-dessert slot. And this week I came up empty book-wise. So, I thought it would be fun to share one of my most favorite books ever. This book should be included in all middle and high school reading classes.

A Woman of No Importance: The Untold Story of the American Spy Who Helped Win World War II by Sonia Purnell tells a powerhouse of a story about an American woman who worked with England and became a spy behind enemy lines in WW2.

The author deserves all the accolades because Purnell tells a complex story and makes every chapter both riveting and scary. I’ll never forget the scenes when the Nazis are just inches from grabbing Virginia.

This book would make a wonderful gift for everyone, but especially teens and young women: it’s a testament to how much women are capable of. The only negative for this story? No mention of how Virginia was able to sleep at night behind enemy lines. Highly recommend.

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”

Suzy Kassem

Have a fantastic week everyone!

Lisa and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Phone Call

Pearl One

Did you know that Lisa Kudrow was rejected by Saturday Night Live in 1990? Four years before bringing Phoebe Buffay to life in 1994?

True.

And Lisa’s had plenty of company like John Mulaney, Tim Roberts, John Cusack, Rachel Bloom, Cameron Diaz, Geena Davis, Kevin Hart, Mindy Kaling, Ellie Kemper, Jim Carrey and so many more.

I’m just guessing, but Lisa likely auditioned for SNL, praying, hoping, and crossing every finger that she’d landed the job.

Then she got the call.

First, she was probably numb. Then she likely cried for the first day or two. Maybe took in a movie to get her mind off the rejection, and in the evenings possibly had one or two glasses of wine with her ice cream.

“I remember being super disappointed,” Lisa told Vanity Fair, “because I thought, ‘maybe you’re one of those people for whom good things don’t happen.'”

Four years later, she made it happen.

I’m not surprised these days to see a story arc like Lisa Kudrow’s and everyone else in the “SNL Reject Club” who auditioned feeling like they’re this close to being a huge star with the money and the fame and the access to great roles.

Only to have it all ripped away by one little phone call.

My Point

Champions like Lisa Kudrow and the other SNL’s rejects, likely feel awful for days or even weeks after they get the call, but then they dig in their heels and get back to their grueling climb which is why the long list of rejected celebrities doesn’t surprise me. People who’ve “made it” in any field are go-getters who over-deliver time and again. They’ve learned how to talk to themselves to maintain their focus. Sure, they allow themselves time to mourn, but they don’t see a setback as being indicative of anything.

The important takeaway: allow yourself to be moved by Kudrow’s example.

Let her trek inspire your trek.

In your journal ask yourself this:

  • If Lisa was “super disappointed” after the SNL phone call, how do you guess she managed to audition for Friends (four years later)?
  • How do you rally when you’ve felt “crushed”?
  • Why don’t you just give up on smart eating? What propels you forward?
  • What prominent person in our culture inspires you? And why?

When a strong question is asked in front of a pad of paper and a pen (that works), the gems appear.

Pearl Two

Back when we were little, overeating really did keep us tethered to life, giving us comfort, or even delivering welcomed numbness that brings its own relief.

Fast forward decades into the future and the substance that was so calming back then is today, dangerous. Think I’m overstating it?

We’ve both read the articles that say being overweight leads to so many problems and diseases. In my life, I’m certain that being overweight lead to my gallstone surgery and, at another time, falling on my own foot and breaking it.

So, consider reframing overeating from it’s a comfort to instead being overweight doesn’t serve me in my life and only brings disappointment and diagnosis that I can live (literally) without.

This is the moment when I always go back to my “why.”

I don’t mean to overstate it, but the “why” in our lives is everything.

  • I mean, I have tolerated a variety of situations because my sons were my “why” (hello? Paging Chuck E. Cheese, the worst pizza known to mom-kind).
  • I maintained a strong “why” when we pulled our two out of Kindergarten after four months. A loved one didn’t speak to me for a year.
  • I relied on an ironclad “why” as I homeschooled the boys through two moves and into college. (No judgement if you didn’t homeschool your kids, I happen to think homeschooling is like a calling rather than “everyone should do this” kind of thing.)

Two Takeaways

There was a time when food was a comfort. Today, food is hurting us. So, the journaling question is: how do we go into the very core of our being and discover what matters the most to us.

Pearl Three

Our last “stacking” for November. I heard a guy on Instagram say, “Our brains are like a supercomputer. Our self-talk is the program. Our brains are always listening when we talk to ourselves.”

Pull out your journal and write to these prompts. When I wrote, I was quite surprised at some of the answers.

I really love that I . . .

I can always count on myself to. . .

It’s taken time, but I’ve learned to be great at . . .

Learning to manage . . . 

I like that I learned how to . . .

I’m tickled that I developed a habit of . . .

Next write one word to each answer. For example, these were my six words.

I’m saying this stack to myself daily and it’s been especially supportive during tough moments when it seems like the blanket of negativity is descending.

Pearl Four

Pretty pumpkin loaf by thriver, “M”!!

Our food slot. A sweet reader – “M” wrote to ask me whether the whole wheat pumpkin muffins that I love would work as a pumpkin loaf.

I thought, sure, why not? I’m a fan of the muffins because they come in their own serving-size.

But whether you’re team-muffin or team-loaf, I’m repeating the recipe here. I eat these as mini-meals throughout the cold months. And the pretty photo is from “M” too. Yum, right?

Also, this recipe is a go-to for eating before you eat.

Set the timer for 375 degrees.

Mix together dry items:

  • 1 cup flour
  • ¾ cup whole wheat flour
  • 3 tablespoons sugar (only 3 tablespoons!!)
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • ¼ teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt (an eighth!!)

Mix Wet:

  • First, melt 2 tablespoons butter (just 2!).
  • 1 whole egg (add two eggs for more protein).
  • ¾ skim milk (but almond milk works just as well).

Now the fun part:

  • If you want pumpkin pie muffins: add ¾ can of pumpkin puree to the wet mix and one teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice to the dry mix.)
  • Want apple pie muffins? Add a peeled and diced Granny Smith apple and a mashed ripe banana to the wet mix along with one teaspoon of cinnamon to the dry mix.
  • Love banana bread? Mash three to four super ripe bananas and along with a teaspoon of vanilla add to the wet.

Bake muffins for 18 to 20 minutes.

“M” baked her loaf at 350 degrees for one hour. Once baked, she sprinkled powdered sugar on top!

Pearl Five

Never, never, never give up.” — Winston Churchill

Two days into the long weekend. Today is the day to give the leftovers to the wild animals or the happy neighbors. 🙂

Have a great long weekend and see you on Tuesday!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I am an Amazon affiliate so if you buy something through a link at this site, I may receive a small commission that won’t impact your price at all.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Maintain the mystery. Protect your passion. Shun sharing with your Eeyore.

Pearl One

He’s cute and pathetic, and has the sweetest pink bow on his tail. We might want to mother him — you know — transform his sad little outlook.

And if he’d only stayed in the book, there wouldn’t be a problem.

But the Eeyore-people of the planet are all around us. At first they seem benign. It almost seems inconceivable that they can dream-destroy, but beware these seemingly “innocent” characters.

While it might appear like a good, warm hug would transform an Eeyore it won’t work because a) they won’t change unless internally motivated and b) they’re more entrenched in their beliefs and are actually dangerous to those of us dedicated to growing and evolving in life. The Eeyore can decimate our dreams, goals, and plans with one or two beleaguered comment(s).

That said the Eeyores comes in so many shades of gloom that it’s not always apparent that we’re dealing with an actual Eeyore.

Your basic, no-frills Eeyore will forever default to lamenting, “nothing good ever happens. It’s just one thing after another. Must be raining out. Woe is me.”

Other Eeyores are passive-aggressive. This type concludes every barb with, “Come on! I was just joking!” or “I only say (the barb) to be helpful. I’m worried about you. I don’t want you getting your hopes up, only to see them dashed. Again.”

And finally we come to the aggressive-aggressive Eeyore who – upon hearing our new venture — responds with laughter while belittling, ignoring, or sneering at our plans.

While somewhere deep inside we know there’s no convincing an Eeyore, we try anyway when we say, “Really, this time feels different. I’m changing my habits and how I deal with food.” And at that – like clockwork – the Eeyore shakes his head, chuckles a bit and says, “What will this be? Like your 368th time of ‘you’re really transforming’? I don’t get why you waste your energy.”

And with that he walks away leaving you in a puddle of anger, hurt, maybe even a little agreement (“maybe he’s right”). Do you see why I call an Eeyore “dangerous”? The instant you start doubting yourself, they’ve made an inroad and will work to topple your plans.

After he leaves the room, you work internally to put your heart back together (again), clean the kitchen and head to bed all while thinking, “why can’t he be more supportive?”

Take a good, long look – quietly — at the person you’re engaging with. And journal-write about what you see before you. 

Whether you’re dealing with an Eeyore-friend, family member, co-worker, or partner, they’re dangerous because they can decimate our plans, if we allow it.

Never dismiss an Eeyore’s attitude as nothing, or think, he just doesn’t understand. As I lose weight and change my habits, he’ll come along.

Thing is, Eeyores don’t change. For whatever reason — that’s between them and their therapist — they don’t want us to grow and evolve. They have a certain way of seeing us, and they want the image kept in place.

So, protect your plans. Be a closed book, and get on with transforming your life.

Pearl Two

Your mission should you accept it. Let’s say that you’ve found a diamond mine and can’t wait to tell the Eeyores in your life how beautiful and sparkly and awesome the mine is!

And therein lies the real problem, you “can’t wait to tell your Eeyore.”

Of course we want to share our happiness, but we need to firmly understand that an Eeyore will not take joy in your joy.

Sadly, like a broken record, the Eeyores want to tell you why something won’t work. They have zero interest in brainstorming ways to help you jump the hurdle. Most have no idea how to jump a hurdle anyway.

Dream a Little Dream of Me

In the beginning, as you start to put your dream into action, don’t share the dream and action-plan with anyone. Let the diamond mine be your own special secret for months (even years) to come.

Same goes, when you’re in the “messy middle” of your action plan. (I write about the messy middle here.)

Eventually when you feel a steely resolve about your diamond mine and are ready to share, be insanely choosy about who you share it with.

If you feel at all squishy, an Eeyore will smell blood and point out the many flaws in your plan because he’s “just trying to help.”

Which is fine. Once you feel a total, no holds barred commitment to your dream, then whatever negativity pours out of your Eeyore will simply bounce off.

But personally I believe in moving the Eeyore’s in your life along. It might sound heartless, but I said goodbye to the two Eeyore-friends in my life. And for my Eeyore-family members, I share very little to no info.

Today it’s become a habit. Until I’m 100 percent behind my venture I share the dream and plan with nobody. Ever.

Pearl Three

Vocab Alert! I have a new term for the items in our lives that make crushing the Smart Eating Lifestyle more do-able. From now forward, I’ll call these little helpers — like measuring cups, air fryers, a cold-tote and so forth — “gear.”

My favorite gear at the moment is silicone “parchment paper.” My family goes through parchment paper quickly and I was happy to find that they make the silicone parchment paper version. So, my pizza-eating son received silicone parchment paper for Christmas.

The silicone parchment paper works as beautifully as the silicone muffin cups that I also love and recommend.

If you have smart eating gear, we’d love to hear about it!! Please share with the group in the comments below.

Pearl Four

Our food slot. Decades ago, I had a favorite restaurant that served an amazing appetizer: the pretty plate held a generous wedge of Cambazola cheese, four heads of garlic, and cherry chutney. And all of the tasty spreadables were joined by little French bread rounds ready to be layered in cheese, garlic, and chutney.

OMG.

I inhaled more of this awesome appetizer than I’d like to admit.

But when I decided to make some big changes in the mid-90s and began losing weight in earnest, no way was the appetizer coming with me into my new Smart Eating Life.  

So, I kissed Cambazola cheese goodbye, but planned to keep my relationship with the roasted garlic in the mix.

Here’s how I make it. I take a head of garlic – not a clove, but a head – that comes in a papery-white cloak (so to speak). I chop off the first quarter or third of the head (not at the root, but at the head’s head), exposing all the little cloves.

I drizzle each head in a bit of olive oil, and place the head face down on foil. The foil gets wrapped up like a little package and goes into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. (When I make roasted garlic for my family, they each get one full head.)

Roast for 30-minutes. After roasting, the garlic will be like butter and very easy to scoop out with a knife and spread onto bread, crackers, or even added to your salad.

Pearl Five

Don’t walk away from negative people. Run!” – Mark Twain

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

♥, Wendy

P.S. A

Yes, Virginia, we can have tasty cocktails in December.

Photo by shche_ team on Unsplash

Hey All!

I’m sorry that I’m so late today (I blame December).

Pearl One

Is it a real holiday if we’re not celebrating by overeating and over drinking? There was certainly a time when I’d have thought, well of course eating big is part of the fun!!

Nowadays, I’m not so sure. I think about when my grandma was a little girl — 1916 to 1928 — special food only appeared on Christmas, it was too special and pricey to have on the regular. Which isn’t something you and I have much familiarity given that we live in the Age of Amazon.

While eating big throughout December sounds like a hoot, I wonder. I mean, pretend we’re going to a huge Broadway show like the Lion King or Hamilton, if we’re offered cheesecake would we really chow in earnest with all of the excitement spilling out on stage?! (I’m not talking about a boring show, I’m talking about a spectacular performance.)

While I wasn’t lucky enough to see Hamilton in person, I did see the Lion King and at my heaviest I wouldn’t have dreamed of eating with gusto while watching that show’s feast for the eyes. I call the Broadway shows nourishment for our hearts.

Another example: say you flew to be in the audience for your grandchild’s piano recital, do you wish you had a chocolate-mint shake hidden in your lap so that you could slurp quietly? I would call being at a loved one’s recital nourishment for our hearts too.

My point is that we might be using massive amounts of high-caloric food to make our time together seem “more fun,” when really it’s our hearts crying out for nourishment like the following:

  • encouraging everyone to share a heartfelt memory (each person contributes a happy memory involving one other person in the room, or a story about a beloved animal, vacation, or hurdle-overcome).
  • making hot chocolate and s’mores around an outdoor fire pit.

I just wonder how much overeating is due to very little engagement with others?

We live in the wealthiest culture known to mom-kind, and yet we’re also the loneliest. According to U.S. Census data (info collected pre-Covid), “One-third of adults over 45 years of age feel lonely, while 43% of adults over 65 report they’re lonely on a regular basis.”

It seems to me like we’re short-changing ourselves when we dive into food as the “be-all” for the holidays.

This season, let’s be the model by encouraging activities that see us engaging with each other, rather than over drinking and overeating with our nearest and dearest.

Pearl Two

I’m excited because this “skill” is one of my favorites. Ready for a sure-fire way to support yourself while living the Smart Eating Lifestyle for December and every month thereafter?

Put constraints into your life. For example, I largely don’t buy books (because they’re so hard to move) and think it’s way easier to use the library. When I think of travel I limit myself (for now) to DC down to Florida. I only use hypoallergenic make-up because my eyes, my skin, my heart – everything is sensitive. lol.

Because of my constraints I don’t peruse Costco’s great book section hemming and hawing over buying a book for myself. But I will jot the name down and get it at the library. I don’t think about visiting Lake Tahoe or Hawaii (for now) because the Eastern seaboard beaches down to Florida are awesome.

We already constrain ourselves in life, but we may not realize that’s what we’re doing. Vegans and vegetarians are definitely constraining themselves. I constrain myself from only adopting rescue kitties and pups. When I was young, my dad always raved about Toyotas – and funny enough – that’s what I buy today.

So, you see my point.

But how does constraining ourselves help us thrive on the Smart Eating Lifestyle? Our lives get a bit easier when we give up an entire food item like ice cream which I’ve done for years (until the ice cream fiasco with my braces, but I’m happily back on my, “I don’t eat ice cream” plan).

Avoid Decision Fatigue

Use the constraint tool to make your smart eating life easier. Pick a food group like bread, desserts, alcohol, or cereal and just tell yourself, When I eat out I only choose from the side dishes or salad section. If I order a full entrée I take half of the meal home in a doggie bag.

As my Gram would say, “no ifs, ands, or buts.”

Constrain yourself, and reap the resulting success.

Pearl Three

Our December Topic: food “tools” that I lean on to make maintaining a lower weight doable. In honor of this very festive month, I give you:

Peppermint Hot Chocolate

Makes two servings.

On simmer heat two cups of chocolate almond milk. Calories range from 35 to 100 calories on the brand, but remember to choose unsweetened for the lowest calories.

After heating the chocolate, pour into mugs and add a quarter cup of peppermint schnapps to each mug (150 calories for one quarter cup or two ounces).

To make it more fun add a swoosh of whipped cream to the top and stir with a candy cane. While this is made for two people, I make it for one: me.

Pearl Four

Our Food Slot! In honor of this very festive month, I give you a fun dessert that doesn’t break the bank:

Sliced angel food cake drizzled in chocolate with crushed candy cane sprinkled on top. I’ve taken this exact, very pretty combination to potlucks. But I’m not adverse to eating slices at home.

I’d love to hear your favorite “food tools.” Send them in! Wendy@WendyIrvineWriter.com.

Pearl Five

I had no choice but to boss up and create my own lane.” — Anonymous

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you! 🙂

You know the scoop: I am an Amazon affiliate so if you buy something through a link at this site, I may receive a small commission that won’t impact your price at all.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

One thing the Little House girls would instantly recognize in our living room: the candy cane.

Pearl One

Remember Laura and Mary being dumbstruck at finding an orange, a penny, and a peppermint stick in their Christmas stocking?

Well, you and I have our own Little House story because unless you’re a Vanderbilt, you grew up in the ‘70s back when eating in a restaurant was for special occasions only, and seasonal treats were relegated to specific windows of time like homemade ice cream in the summer and beautiful cookies in December.

Fast-forward some 40 years and we’re hard-pressed to come up with a food item that we can’t score within – oh – about an hour.

In Laura and Marys’ time, they only had special food on Christmas itself. The days of overeating on the holidays with the tired excuse of, I’ll only see red pepper jelly blanketing cream cheese in December. Better dig in, are over.

In this century we can find mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, dinner rolls, fancy chocolates and pretty cookies everywhere all year long.

So, don’t allow you to deceive you. This December ask yourself one of the most powerful questions I know:

Do I want to be a size 8, or do I want to eat the rest of the red velvet cheesecake?

I use this question often to save me from the gorgeous – but empty — calories.

My thought on why this question works so well is that when we first lay eyes on, say, a sumptuous December dinner, our cave woman brain is wide awake and “helps us” pile our plate (she’s great that way).

But the moment we ask ourselves do I want to be a size 8 or do I want to taste everything on the table and go back for thirds? our prefrontal brain kicks in, and “provides ‘top-down’, higher-order guidance.” (Nature.com/articles/nrn2648)

We can create the Smart Eating Lifestyle we want for ourselves, it’s just a matter of learning to wield the mental tools necessary to keep our cave woman happily snoozing in her cave. Because if she’s not bothering us, our prefrontal can get on with creating the life we most want.

Best December tip: when at a gathering, always fill your plate three-quarters full with naked veggies (only no sauce, no dressing or slight amount).

Pearl Two

Have you heard of a mini-bucket list? (I just made it up.) Here’s what I’m doing.

My December and January bucket lists will include everything I want to do/try, but don’t always find the time for.

December

  • See a neighborhood light show with my family (my sons are older but they still love the lights).
  • Love sending out cards to my editors. Either all editors are wonderful people or I just got lucky.
  • I love making Christmas photo gifts (Costco’s is great).
  • I love waking up Christmas morning to cinnamon rolls that I made the night before. In the morning I just bake them and they’re good to go.
  • I’m playing holiday music every day, but from a new bullet speaker I bought, not blaring from my computer like we once did.
  • I’m giving a nice food tower to the guy around the corner who makes the most beautiful light display every year. His yard – on a corner where everyone who drives into the neighborhood sees his home – is blanketed in white lights and not tacky at all. He has a lit snowman, a lit manger scene, lit deer, there’s so much more. It’s his hobby. Year-round he keeps his yard nice, but he really goes to town in December. And he is not retired, he’s probably somewhere in his 40s!! (I’ll take a photo and share.)

January

  • First, we’re pet sitting an African grey here in Atlanta. For only two nights, but still. (I’m very excited and reading up on the breed now.) He’s 27 years young if you were wondering.
  • I’m doing a lot of writing in January because I have an important article due, and of course I love writing Inspired Eater.
  • I’m doubling-down on finding really exceptional books to read. Right now I’m reading Tell the Wolves I’m Home. I’m a third of the way into it. My review: worth your time, it’s a page turner. This was the author’s first book and what a woza performance.
  • My mom in California has Alzheimer’s, and she loves receiving mail. In both December and January I’m committing to send her several cards a month. I’ve been told they don’t need to say much. Boy, I wouldn’t wish this disease on anybody, ever. My dad is the caretaker and as heartbreaking as it’s been for him, he’s keeping the ship afloat.

And that concludes my two mini-bucket lists.

I’m curious, what will your December and January bucket lists include? If you don’t know, journaling is the magical portal to your heart.

Pearl Three

New subject for December: How food “tools” make our lives easier.

I’ve mentioned I call actual food my “food-tools.” So today we’re talking faux-chicken patties. El Yumo. I toast a whole wheat English muffin, put tiny amounts of ranch dressing on each bun, spread on a bunch of green sprouts, pull the fake-chicken patty out of the oven and – ta da! – one heck of tasty sandwich. And it’s even quite filling.

If I don’t have sprouts, I’ll put on cucumber coins. And I really love it when I have baby tomatoes because then I take a bite of sandwich and pop a tomato in my mouth. Over and over.

Ah, good times.

I think Morningstar Farms was the first company to offer chicken patties, but these days a gazillion brands make them and you’ll find these tasty patties in the freezer section of most stores.

Nutrition will vary based on brand, but this gives you a good idea about how these guys stack up. One fake-chicken patty is a serving. Calories: 150, fat: 7g, fiber: 4g, Carbs: 13g, Protein: 8g.

Pearl Four

Cheese. In my smart eating world, I call any kind of cheese “a spice.” The only time I make an exception is when I have a slice of pizza the rare two or three times a year.

There’s nothing wrong with cheese, per se, it’s just easy to overeat and high-caloric. So long ago, I started telling myself regularly, cheese is a spice.

Pearl Five

Food is the most widely abused anxiety “drug,” and working out is the most potent underutilized anti-depressant.” — Anonymous

Fifteen days until Christmas. And this is the first Christmas in maybe forever when I haven’t spent the month freaking out.

So, the Christmas cards don’t go out until Valentines? I mean, who really cares, right?

I love this quote and keep it on the side of my fridge year-round, “Don’t worry about being perfect. Make memories.”

Have a peaceful month, everyone.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I am an Amazon affiliate so if you buy something through a link at this site, I may receive a small commission that won’t impact your price at all.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

When we were teens, drama was fine. But today, kick the drama and be curious instead.

Pearl One

Meet a friend who lost 49 pounds and has kept them off for ten years.

Gail writes:

I had an interesting experience on my birthday. For various reasons I wasn’t able to go out and do fun things, as I usually do, so I decided to release my iron control and have what I used to call ” an eating day”, which included a very large portion of cheesy mashed potatoes.

The next day I’d put on three pounds. In the past, I would have either panicked and starved myself, or carried on eating. I resumed my normal diet and exercise and within three days was back to normal weight.

Very reassuring.

I love this.

You and I are not new to this game. The scale has gone up and down our entire lives. We know the days of angry-tears and we know the good times too.

Even so, to gain Gail’s skill, here’s what we want to practice: ditching the drama when the scale is not going in the “right” direction.

What I mean by “drama” is that, let’s say, you weigh yourself in the morning, don’t like what you see on the scale and start beating yourself up. You’re furious. You tell yourself that you’re idiotic, stupid and so forth.

Guess how I know? After 16 years of maintenance I still have those bad days. Not as many, but I have them.

And — when I do — like Gail, I don’t go to pieces. Or berate myself. None of that.

Because when you “take yourself to task” in your heart, you’re going backwards. Nothing comes from turning on yourself.

Instead learn to be curious. In your journal, write the timeline of events that led you to overeat. Essentially map out what happened and learn more about who you are with certain triggers.

Then go “Gail” on your Smart Eating Lifestyle. That’s right. Let’s say you’ve gained, follow her exact lead:

In the past, I would have either panicked and starved myself, or carried on eating. I resumed my normal diet and exercise and within three days was back to normal weight.

That’s right. Say buh-bye to all the hoopla that comes from attacking yourself when you’ve gained, get curious, write in your journal — and steer yourself right back to your Smart Eating Lifestyle.

I don’t “think” you can do this. I know you can.

If you want to meet Gail, she’s British and has a fun and colorful fashion blog at Is this Mutton?

Pearl Two

In life, it’s what you make it mean. True story. I was in a meeting in a large conference room with a group of cops and managers. Mid-meeting, an officer showed up with a K-9 officer, a black German shepherd named Bennie.

We took a small break, and I used my time to go bananas over the sweetheart and throw a Kong toy for him again and again. A wonderful GSD.

Another woman was in the meeting. When Bennie arrived she was acting uncomfortable. At the break, a flurry ensued. She was obviously terrified and repeated “no, no, no” (as officers were trying to reassure her) and bolted out of the room never to be seen again.

Same large conference room. Same meeting. Same dog. Two totally different reactions. In slowing down the film here’s what happened:

Door opens and in walks an officer and Officer Bennie.

She sees the dog and thinks, monster! From the thought, she feels scared.

I see Bennie and think, furry baby! From the thought, I feel delighted.

Her action: she leaves the room.

My action: love-bomb the puppy!

This woman wasn’t being “silly.” I have a good friend who grew up in the same culture as this woman. In their world small dogs are fine, but big dogs are vicious and dangerous.

My point: a circumstance unfolds, we have a thought and from the thought we have a feeling. And it’s within our power to choose the thought that will will impact our feeling.

The sequence goes: “situation” then ” our thought” then our “feeling.” Give this concept a lot of your time, because every situation in life boils down to this sequence. There are two more steps, but first I’m hoping you’ll embrace this flow.

If this doesn’t make sense, I would love it if you email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Pearl Three

We keep this slot for a new topic each month and in November we’re talking “stacking.”

Today I’m stacking what comforts me when life is being life, and I’m overwhelmed. Take a look at my Comfort Stack:

One

Being in bed on a cold night, and going under my electric blanket.

Two

Laying on the couch under my Grandma’s knitted blankie, headphones on listening to a favorite podcast. Most important: kitty pads over and curls up on Mount Tummy.

Three

In bed – same electric blanket – reading a phenomenal book or watching a favorite show: The Crown, Schitt’s Creek, or Call the Midwife.

Four

Being in the library with three of my most favorite things: free books, magazines and silence.

Five

I love being home – alone – and putting on great music to putter-clean. Largely I’m a panic-cleaner, but occasionally I get the house to myself, and I love doing whatever needs attention (which is everything).

Six

I used to get comfort by being at my yoga/Pilates studio. For the most part we knew each other – sort of –, like I knew when a yoga-friend went to South Korea to visit family. That kind of thing.

And I knew each instructor’s style. (Not saying it was easy. In the beginning I slipped in my own sweat, but it felt homey.)

Now it’s your turn. I’d love to hear about your Comfort Stack in the comments below!

Pearl Four

I ran across this recipe and thought, sounds tasty (and I was right).

Oats muesli-style for the brrrr!! months:

Take:  

  • Half an apple or pear, grated (I diced my apple)
  • 1/2 cup rolled oats
  • 1/2 cup milk or plant milk of your choice (I used almond milk; some use Kefir)
  • 1/2 cup Greek yogurt (I used regular yogurt)
  • 1/4 cup dried fruits of your choice (I left this out completely, a quarter-cup seems like a lot)
  • a squeeze of honey (I didn’t use)
  • a generous handful of nuts (I use a light sprinkle of walnuts. I’d never use “a generous sprinkle” of anything).

During the cold months, combine all the ingredients in a cereal bowl and allow to sit for 20 minutes. No, you aren’t heating anything, but the dish is warmer than if it sits in the fridge all night.

But during the summer, let the muesli sit overnight in the fridge and in the morning you’ll wake up to a delicious cold bowl.

Pearl Five

Ok. So you had a bad day. Don’t beat yourself up, don’t let one bad decision send you spiraling out of control. Get back to making decisions that improve your health and happiness. You are who you choose to be.” — Anonymous

I have an advertising budget of lol. If you’ve enjoyed these pearls, I’d love it if you’d share them with friends or family.

On Tuesday we’ll talk Holiday Health Challenge. For this last week before Thanksgiving, join me in doubling-down and doing our new habit each day of this week. And share how you’re doing in the comments below! 🙂

Have a beautiful mid-November everyone!!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

I’ve been asked if I could include something like Buy me a Coffee on the Inspired Eater. So if you feel up to sending a coffee, I am a devotee. You’ll find the coffee “button” to your right. And, as always, thank you so much for reading the Inspired Eater. ♥♥♥

Pearl One

I’ve long thought that our world is so the Jetsons: cutting-edge and very cool.

I mean, we’re rich in brilliance personified like Maria Beasley (invented life rafts for ships) or Rosalind Franklin (discovered something huge in DNA).

And let’s give it up for Josephine Cochrane who invented the dishwasher!! (And the crowd goes wild.)

Furthermore, can we talk indoor plumbing? Wow, right?

And I haven’t even mentioned Prince, Aretha, or Taylor Swift.

Doesn’t planet Earth rock?!

But, then we come to our (funky) diet-industry.

We’ve learned that we’d been lied to for decades by Big Sugar and that, at one point, there was something hinky going on with the food pyramid too. Not to mention that the “calories in, calories out” crowd are still debating each other.

On the plus side, we’ve received life-saving info on sodium, that too much is a hard no. And they genuinely seem to want the nutrition labels on food items to work in our favor (food counts came out in 1994, revised in 2016).

But these are still the peeps who once sang the praises of margarine, only today to urge us to welcome butter back into our fridge (in tiny servings of course). And let’s not forget what happened to the innocent egg.

And yet with the gains made, there are still those of us who are like, whatever. I have to figure this out on my own.

But here’s the thing: the larger culture has long taught that being hyper-focused on what we put into our mouths is is the key to losing weight. But really food is only the substance we use.

The truth is that eating issues begin in our hearts.

We might be grieving or angry or disappointed. We might be deliriously happy. Or scared. Or even despondent.

And the best way I know of to reach our hearts is through journaling-writing. And please don’t tell yourself that journal-writing is a “nice thing to do”, only not today. (Sorry, too busy.)

You’re never too busy for journaling-writing. It’s an imperative piece to losing after 50 and maintaining the forever-loss.

Writing suggestions:

  • What’s going on inside of me today? Am I frightened, mad, anxious?
  • It’s difficult for me to sit quietly with my feeling(s) and just “let it be” because. . .
  • When I’m having my feeling, where do I feel it in my body?
  • If I “sit with my feeling”, how long does the feeling stay?
  • I know that feelings pass like clouds moving through the sky, but I’m still scared to stay present and be calm with my feeling(s) — rather than feeding it chocolate — because. . .
  • When I was young who comforted me when I was having feelings?
  • I had to deal with feelings on my own so I turned to (list as many as you can). . .
  • In my emotional life today, which feelings can I handle? Which rattle me to my core?
  • What kind of self-talk would help me immensely as I learn to better engage with myself while experiencing a hard (for me) feeling?

Journal-writing reveals insights into ourselves in which we’re not consciously aware. Get to know you, you’ll fall in love with the person you find.

Pearl Two

I didn’t think up this great tool, but I’m sure glad that Tim Ferris – podcaster extraordinaire – put words to the feelings of “HELL YEAH!!”

Let me explain.

When we take something away from ourselves – like overeating for comfort – we have to give something in return or we feel a yawning void, an emptiness inside, and head straight for the Doritos. (When people give up alcohol or drugs, the rehab staff strongly encourages participants to find new passions in life as part of the healing process.)

But how to choose from the millions of hobbies out there? We’ve all tried various activities and – while some were okay — none sparked much passion in us.

But Tim’s “HELL YEAH!!” energy changes the equation.

As an example, one woman I know loves comedy. She’ll take her comediennes on Netflix, but she’s wild about seeing stand-up live. Years ago, she saw Seinfeld just months before his show went on the air and last week she saw Kid Gorgeous — John Mulaney — live in her town.

That said, what’s your reaction to seeing a comedienne in person? This is where Tim Ferris says, “If your answer isn’t an uproarious, ‘HELL YEAH!!‘ pass it up.”

If an activity or idea doesn’t light Tim on fire, he’s out.

So, what’s your reaction to:

  • Seeing all of Johnny Depp’s top twelve movies? A “HELL YEAH!!” or “meh”?
  • Returning to the childhood classics like The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie, and A Little Princess also by Frances Hodgson Burnett. (Adults reading awesome kid-lit is a thing.) “HELL YEAH!! or “so-so”?
  • Beginning with a “paint by numbers” kit and moving onto to actual painting classes. “HELL YEAH!!” or “not really”?
  • Photography classes. “HELL YEAH!!” or “pass”?
  • Taking a therapy dog into a nursing home. “HELL YEAH!!” or “not my thing”?
  • Love travel? (TrustedHousitters.com makes it more affordable. Just sayin.’) “HELL YEAH!!” or “not into it”?

But here’s the tricky part: we need to open our hearts to new experiences. We need to at least try — your equivalent of — the comedy show, or the painting class, or the therapy dog. You can’t blow off every suggestion: trying new things is part of our Smart Eating Lifestyle. Don’t make it a dramatic thing, just try two new activities a month. Eventually one will catch your attention.

Btw, I’ve tried a lot of things that didn’t pan out, one to the tune of $2000. So don’t force yourself to like something you don’t like (only try not to spend $2000 when you’re still in the honeymoon stage). Just stay open and try new activities.

When we’re living more of a “HELL YEAH!!” life, our dedication to eating 95 percent fuel-food, while keeping the fun-food to just five percent is way less formidable. I’d love to hear your “HELL YEAH!!” passions in the comments below.

Pearl Three

We keep this slot for a new topic each month and in November we’re talking “stacking.” Last week, I pointed out how easy it is for me to stack negative memories. (Kind of a downer.)

Today let’s talk stacking small, but significant memories that make us laugh. When I think of funny moments, I see in my mind’s eye my grandma who had a great sense of humor and loved to laugh. She was the throw-your-head back type.

Have fun with this one. In your journal stack five memories and then write them on stickies where you’ll see them and smile every day.

Pearl Four

Food. A thriver from Texas wrote and said that she loves to put mashed avocado into warm corn tortillas adding a smidge of salt and a squirt of lime. (Since I use WW’s old points system paired with the REP, I eat my guac-tacs for lunch, not dinner.)

My review: yum, yum, and more yum.

Pearl Five

There is no passion to be found playing small — in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela

If a problem is bothering you, it’s annoying someone else too, no doubt.

Have a beautiful mid-November everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

We all go a little south more often than we want to admit.

Pearl One

Somewhere within our fad-diet loving culture we accepted the notion that our response to challenges should unfold in a linear style.

We’re so accustomed to our world being somewhat A + B = C. We start college as freshman and finish as seniors (hopefully). The December holidays follow Thanksgiving that follows Halloween (in the U.S.).

And that’s how we want our Smart Eating Lifestyle too. Perfect, pristine, and linear.

Except it’s not. Having maintained a 55-pound loss for 16 years, I can assure you that I’ve found losing and maintaining to be more like a pretty kitchen that needs to be sprayed down occasionally with the garden hose if one doesn’t stay “on top of things.”

Life on the Smart Eating Path is like a child finger-painting: messy. Does she have her apron on? Is there a drop cloth underneath her for miles in all directions, and — quick! — the water for the brushes is about to be knocked over! (Oh, well. Better luck grabbing it next time.)

That’s the logical fallacy of those of us living the Smart Eating Lifestyle™ assuming that “the successful losers and maintainers” are either perfect, or beat themselves up when something in the plan goes awry (otherwise called “feeling ashamed”).

I can tell you — beyond a shadow of a doubt — that I did not shame myself into a healthy weight. As I lost, I did not beat myself up.

Because why?

It won’t actually help anything and “something going wrong in the plan” is part of our lifestyle.

Going “left” instead of “right”, and making a u-ee is what our world is now about. So you ate “off-plan” for a day or more? I just tell myself exactly what I told my German shepherd when he was still begging for treats — all done!! — and I encourage you to try the words too.

Pearl Two

Find the gems in your day-to-day. Remember Christina Hendrix on Mad Men and Good Girls? Well, I happened to see a comment she made and I thought it was genius: she keeps kettlebell weights around her house to use whenever she has a spare moment. “I keep [them] right next to the bed, so I can run my bathwater, do a set, and then do something else, and then come back and do another set,” she told Everyday Health.

Keeping weights throughout the home? Brilliant. That’s how I keep the Smart Eating Lifestyle dynamic, I’m open to fabulous tips coming from any place, from anyone, from anywhere. I’d love it if you’d share an amazing tip you recently learned — about anything — in the comments below!

Pearl Three

We keep this slot for a new topic each month. I’ve written about this wonderful idea recently, but it’s multifaceted; looking at it from new angles can bring great insight.

Stacking.

I caught myself last night thinking of a very hard moment when I really – I mean, really – screwed up. And then I thought of another, and another, and another. At that, I realized, I’m stacking negative memories and then repeating them to myself on a loop.

Years ago I read that humans hold onto negative memories because it’s a key survival instinct to immediately recall which rock formation held the cave bear.

So, I consciously push back on the tendency to be negative by saying to myself, cathedral, cathedral, cathedral and I’m back in the present. I use “cathedral” because of a trip to Savannah, in which we stayed near the jaw-dropper.

But there’s no magic to the word “cathedral.” So when you’re in the negative-zone, begin to create the habit of saying one meaningful word or statement to yourself that will whisk you back to the present, and our much — much — better plan of stacking the positives.

Pearl Four

Food. I recently jumped on the air fryer train. The best I’d heard is that they give food a crunchy outer layer.

So, broccoli, sweet potatoes, onion. Let’s do this!

Before buying I knew that an air fryer is essentially a convection oven (which we didn’t have).

So I Googled and got answers that told me to set the air fryer at too high of a temp and too long of a duration. I burned bowls of diced sweet potatoes, and a thing of broccoli.

My review: If you know what I’m doing wrong, send help! The Scarfer’s review: “no brainer” because frozen French fries appear for his mouth that much quicker.

(Sigh.)

Pearl Five

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

I’ve been asked if I could include something like Buy me a Coffee on the Inspired Eater. So if you feel up to sending a coffee, I am a devotee. You’ll find the coffee “button” to your right. And, as always, thank you so much for reading the Inspired Eater. ♥♥♥

And if you have any smart eating conundrums in November or December, feel free to write to me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com. If a problem is bothering you, it’s bugging someone else too, no doubt.

Have a beautiful early November everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I am an Amazon affiliate so if you buy something through a link at this site, I may receive a small commission that won’t impact your price at all.