Pearl # 1

I realize I might sound like a weirdo, but I love thinking about self-sabotage. It’s so interesting to me how insidious self-sabotage thoughts can be in our lives. We listen to them like they’re real. When they’re not at all.

The self-sabotage voice sounds so common sense-ish when he whispers in our ear:

• You don’t have time to work out tomorrow morning; you really need that extra hour of sleep.
• Your family is rarely together all at once. Eat, drink, and be merry, you can do the smart eating thing on Monday.
• Sure, Christmas is four months away. But no worries about saving, buy the cute handbag and Christmas will sort itself out. It always does.

See what I mean? The little voice sounds like it has our back and all is well in the world.

But here’s the problem: we can’t – in today’s vernacular – live our “best lives” if we don’t catch on when the self-sabotage monster is calling the shots.

We all engage in self-sabotage in one way or another. Some do it in a giant way like a friend who gets this close to earning an important degree, only to bail at the end because her mother’s sick and “needs her.”

Or some of us do it in little ways like we “forget” to do laundry and wake up the next morning with nothing to wear.

My self-sabotage voice is at its most blaring in the evening. It tells me with utter confidence:

• What you’re trying to do is too hard. If it were meant to be, it would be easy.
• You’ll never get a handle on ABC, just half-ass it like you’ve done for decades. You’ll be fine!
• Don’t reach out to so-and-so! She’s renowned in her field, she won’t have time to respond to you.

How to Spot the Monster In A Second.

Here’s how to flush out your self-sabotage creep: his thoughts always screw Future You.

Always.

The self-sabotage voice is always pushing for the cushiest deal he can possibly negotiate for today. He doesn’t think long-term. Ever.

A Challenge

Begin to notice what your self-sabotage monster sounds like. Also notice when he’s most likely bothering you (morning? Evening?). Then write down every self-sabotage thought that presents itself.

Trust me, once you’re looking for these terrible messages, it becomes easier to spot them. I’ve gotten decent at noticing when Mr. No-Help is on the scene. I think, oh it’s the self-sabotage guy again. And I refuse to listen.

Because I refuse to screw Future Me. ♥

Pearl # 2

Years ago I was seeing a therapist who casually mentioned that “feelings are like clouds, they come and they go.” She made the comment off-handedly, but I’ve embraced those words as if they were water to a dying woman.

I took her words and applied them to food cravings. I noticed that cravings come and go just like the clouds.

Cravings present, hang out for a bit and then move on.

Huh.

So that said, I only needed to find a way to wait out the craving with a hot shower, good book, an evening walk and so forth.

My mantra: feelings and cravings are like clouds.

They float on by. ♥

Pearl # 3

The headlines have long screamed, “Lose 10 Pounds in 10 Days!” Or “Meet a Mom Who Lost One Hundred Pounds in A Year!” We’ve been somewhat brainwashed into thinking that fast weight loss is good and safe and totally do-able.

We’ve been taught to think of Smart Eating as something outside of our “real” lives.

And that’s just the way the Big Food guys want it. Kraft, Hostess, Frito-Lay, The Coca-Cola Company, Big Ice Cream all see little profit if we rarely partake of their “food.”

Shifting from thinking that weight loss/maintenance is a short-term activity to it’s more like a long race, will support us through the years.

Eating well is not something we start on a Monday or at the “beginning of bathing suit season.”

Instead Smart Eating becomes who we are as people. We drive around with baby carrots and cut-up apples in a cold bag. We stop eating at 6 p.m. each night. When we want fun food, we eat it in the morning with our coffee.

Over age fifty, that’s just how we roll. ♥

Pearl # 4

Do you go “all-in?” It’s the saying of the moment, and I love it. I plan to use it forever.

I know a woman who finally left the rat race to open her own boutique. I watched this person go all-in. She chose a group to create her beautiful blog. She hired a social media coach. She just put pedal-to-the-metal.

I was blown away.

I tend to nickel-and-dime myself when I’m reaching for a dream. Well, let’s see – I’ll think – I want to start taking yoga and Pilates. Hey, here’s the most inexpensive place in town!

In that particular example, I found a fabulous yoga studio, but you see my point.

When you identify what you really, really want in life, go all-in.

The results will astound you. ♥

Pearl # 5

“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something & then go about making sure that it doesn’t happen.” Alyce Cornyn-Selby ♥

We made it to the last week of August!

I love September for an unusual reason: communities around Atlanta close their pools, but open them to the dogs for a weekend of doggie swimming!

It is a blast! I’ve found five pools that host the Doggie Swimming Bash and I buy my sweetheart slots on Saturday and on Sunday.

What are you looking forward to in September? I love comments and questions!! 🙂

And remember, it’s not your imagination: Health is hard for all of us!

♥, Wendy

Every Friday I share “five pearls” for our weekend. 🙂

Pearl # 1

A childhood friend was visiting from California. Because she’s a workout-lover I was excited to show her the new fitness club I’d joined (back when apparently I thought I had money).

We were having fun until we entered the changing room decked in high-end lockers, rolled towels, a steam room.

And a scale.

I’m always working on maintaining good eating habits and at the time didn’t have a scale so I said, “I need to weigh myself.”

At that, Clara said loud and forcefully, “It doesn’t matter what you weigh!! A number shows nothing!!”

She was ticked.

About a scale.

Thing is, I’ve done it both ways and both are fine. When I was losing the fifty-five, I loved not having a scale because it forced me to establish smart eating habits. My mind was where it needed to be: on choosing a bowl of cherries over the family-size box of Cheez-its.

But once I entered the maintenance stage, I wanted a bathroom scale. I mean, one here, one there. Pounds are sneaky. But I want to emphasize for the first few years I worked solely on establishing strong habits.

A scale is a feedback device. If we want to drop from 200 to 180, the scale will tell us how we’re doing in the food department.

At the same time, too much focus on a scale when we’re working to establish rock-solid habits, takes us to the wrong state of mind.

For example, say we eat a slice or two of strawberry cheesecake one evening and when weighing ourselves the next morning cross our fingers and pray that the scale won’t notice. So when the scale says, “look at you! You fooled the calorie gods! You go girl!” you’re getting the wrong message. And if you gained? You’re grumpy, aggravated and getting the wrong message.

Like Brushing Your Teeth.

Take the power away from the feedback device. No need to live by it. No need to die by it.

Go cold-turkey with your scale for a week –a month is better — and work only on establishing strong habits. (Have a green smoothie and a handful of unsalted nuts for breakfast, run errands with baby carrots in the car, have a tiny dinner and stop eating at 6 p.m.)

The scale has a place in our lives, but as we lose we want our mind, body and soul focused only on one thing: embedding super smart habits into our lives.

You’ve tried it your way for decades. Try it mine for one week. ♥

Pearl # 2

An oldie but a goodie: the Green Smoothie Recipe.

This is tasty:

• One cup of ice into blender
• One serving of vanilla protein powder (plant-based if you’re vegan; Costco’s is great)
• One cup of almond milk
• A cup or two of coffee (optional)
• A large handful of spinach
• Another cup of ice especially if you poured in hot coffee
• Sometimes I also add a cup of frozen blueberries

Blend really well. I let it blend for at least a minute.

Yum. ♥

Pearl # 3

If you haven’t yet read these two powerhouse books on habit-formation, order from the library or Amazon today: Atomic Habits by James Clear and The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.

Also, I’ve heard that the audio version of Atomic Habits is outstanding. ♥

Pearl #4

I learned this tip from a Tim Ferriss’s podcast. Tim essentially says that if we make a decision to not eat — let’s say — bagels never again, it automatically constrains our choices. Which is a good thing because in our modern world we’re all suffering from decision-fatigue.

I know of a woman who buys clothes only at The Loft. She likes their clothes, they fit her well and she doesn’t want to be faced with the millions of clothes choices available to women.

The idea is this: Make one big decision once, and avoid making a gazillion little decisions throughout the year. On a beloved forum my name is DogsPizzaBooks. That’s how much I love pizza. So you’ll understand that it was no little thing to give up pizza for a year.

But I’m doing it this year.

Start small so that your brain doesn’t freak-out and blow up the plan. ♥

Pearl # 5

Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Learning to chill when our weight plateaus

is a vital mind-shift to make. We’re ahead of the curve, the experts will figure it out one day.

Last week I received an email from an amazing reader who has lost thirty pounds to date. She wants to lose enough so that she’ll be at a specific BMI. For her, losing is all about the health benefits.

She wrote to me saying that she’d been feeling low because she’s not losing as fast as she hoped. This is part of her email:

Hi Wendy,

My weight is “stuck” at 172/173 pounds.

Half of the “stuck” is laziness, not prioritizing health efforts and the other half is allowing summer stress to impact my efforts to lose.

I kinda feel like I need to start all over.

Signed, Anna-nonymous

My reply:

Anna, you might want to sit down for this one.

1) you’re not lazy by a long-shot

2) and you’re having mammoth success but — unfortunately — framing it as failure.

You know the theory that says our bodies have a “set weight point” and that there’s nothing we can do to change it?

Well, my theory is that when we lose too quickly our bodies default into survival-mode. You and I think we’re merely eating smart and trying to get down to our preferred weight.

But our bodies — aware that we’re losing quickly — scream, “Alert!! All hands on deck: fewer calories coming in! We’re dying!! Eat the highest calories in sight! STAT!”

Here’s the thing: when we don’t fight the plateau, our body is none the wiser. Embrace the plateau so that your mind and body don’t freak.

In the old days, when I hit plateau-land, my mind-set said, this smart eating thing isn’t working for me. At that, I’d “give up” and drop into yo-yo mode.

A Successful Mind-Set

My new mind-set is a way — way — more effective tool for long-term success. When I was losing 55 and realized that I was in plateau-ville, I’d tell myself, I’m strengthening/holding, I’m holding, I’m holding.

Seriously, that’s what I said to myself for years when I stayed “too long” at a certain weight. I just chilled. I took plateauing as a sign that something miraculous was happening to my body and it was: my body was adjusting to the new “new.” Sometimes she’d take a month to adjust.

Our new thinking says that when we plateau we need to shift our self-talk from being cruel to ourselves (losing never works for me) and see what’s really happening: our body is taking the required time she needs to settle into the new weight.

You don’t want to trip off the panic button. You want your body to feel safe and cozy.

Please don’t take this information lightly. Our culture has instilled in us the notion that weight loss should always take a linear route and go down, down, down. Once we’re down, we should then maintain for life.

And if we don’t lose in a strict linear fashion (I sure didn’t, I carried twins in the middle of losing) and maintain forever, we must be the problem.

Something is wrong with us.

Which is ridiculous.

Learning to see a plateau as a fantastic place to be versus failure is vital to a forever loss.

Managing Your Plateau

My suggestion: instead of being angry at yourself for plateauing, focus on strengthening one or two habits at a time. In the beginning of losing fifty-five I focused heavily on changing my habits.

Also can you purposely allow yourself to plateau for say thirty days? Don’t go up, but don’t go down either? Just stay in place? Keep a single sentence note on each day something like:

• 8-18-21 — 174. I’m strengthening/holding. Feels really weird not to be panicked.
• 8-19-21 — 173. Okay, I went down one, but I’m staying within a two or three pound range.
• 8-20-21 — 173. Perfect. I’m holding. I’m holding. I’m holding. I need to remember this every single morning. I’ll put a sticky on the mirror.

Have a wonderful week. I love to answer questions or hear the amazing smart eating habits you’ve established. What do you think about the idea of holding? Are you ready to try something really different with what may be amazing results? ♥

I keep forgetting to ask, but I would love it if you’d follow me on twitter @InspiredEater.com. I’ll follow you back!

Never forget that it’s not just you, health is hard.

♥, Wendy

P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

Every Friday I share “five pearls” for your weekend. 🙂

Pearl # 1

Every summer as a kid, my grandpa would haul out an old-fashioned hand-crank ice cream maker, and churn the most amazing vanilla ice cream I’d ever had. Sometimes he added strawberries and omg.

Being from the generation who pulled rocky road from the freezer and chowed, waiting for Grandpa to churn the ice cream was kind of annoying. Lol.

I want weight loss right now. The problem with our George and Jane Jetsons’s lifestyle is that we’re being lulled into thinking that everything can happen at Amazon-Apple-Uber speed.

When really, everything crazy-awesome takes blood, sweat, and years (typo mine).

There’s no Tan-in-a-Can for forever weight loss.

It’s our job to remind ourselves daily that losing and maintaining after age 50 – given our food-porn world — is like trekking the Matterhorn. We’re on an uphill climb and time is part of the deal.

Losing after 50 is really hard, only for the super committed, but do-able. ♥

Pearl #2

I’ve probably been “really serious” about losing at least a thousand times. Why would it work this time?

We’ve all said this to ourselves. Why will this time be any different?

I can’t tell you why it will be different.

But I can tell you that a very different kind of supportive energy appears on our behalf when we stop “hoping” something awesome will happen, and instead “decide” that it will happen.

Back in 1997, it felt very different for me when instead of hoping, I decided that I would change my eating habits from full-on disastrous to fruits, veggies, whole-this, whole-that and so forth.

I thought, even if I don’t lose weight; I’m changing these habits. Period. I figured, if I can’t lose with rock star eating habits, then I guess the universe likes me at the weight I’m at. At least I’ll be eating right.

And that was the beginning of my losing fifty-five and keeping them off for fifteen as I write.

Decide to decide. ♥

Pearl #3  

You know that Thanksgiving-stuffed feeling? Where your stomach hurts? Well, I was having that on the regular before ’97. I’d eat out and have a huge plate of Mexican food with a large marg, and finish it all off with fried ice cream.

I remember being bummed that I couldn’t finish my dessert. Because I was too full.

Then come Monday morning my pendulum would swing the other way and I’d be on some stupid strict diet.

Today, I haven’t had a Thanksgiving-stuffed feeling in decades.

It would feel abusive to feed and feed and feed myself until my stomach is super uncomfortable. I wouldn’t cut myself with a kitchen knife or run down the staircase either (I’d fall).

To me, there’s no difference.

Once you extinguish the habit of eating to the point of feeling stuffed, it will feel “off” to return to the habit.

Remember that to establish a habit, 1) Replace the bad habit with something positive 2) monitor your progress daily in your journal for 3) sixty-six days and the habit will take hold. ♥

Pearl #4

Your challenge this weekend: when a hard-core craving claws at you, and you’re about to attack the kitchen wait ten minutes before eating the Ding Dongs or donuts or all of the above.

Just ten minutes. Answer a text. Check insta. Write to me (Wendy@theInspiredEater.com). After the ten have passed, give yourself at least one Ding Dong. Or all of the Ding Dongs.

It’s up to you how much you eat, but even if the craving has passed have a Ding Dong or a donut. Do this twice each day over the weekend, keep notes and report back.

We’re at the beginning of two important habits. ♥

Pearl # 5

“Let me tell you the secret that has led to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.”
— Louis Pasteur

Tenacity. It means not settling. Going for the gold. Thinking outside of the brownies.

Let the word be your daily mantra — it will take you places. ♥

Turns out, I forgot to have fun this summer. I’m hitting my neighborhood pool at least twice more in August and again in September.

Enjoy the last weeks of summer everyone!! (My favorite season is just around the corner.)

And remember, it’s not just you. Health is hard.

♥, Wendy

In 2013 after a decade of progressing symptoms, Linda Ronstadt was diagnosed initially with Parkinson’s, and finally with progressive supranuclear palsy, a rare degenerative condition. She’s now mostly on the couch.

In an interview Linda was essentially asked, “What advice can you give others dealing with such difficulty?”

Without hesitation she answered, “Acceptance. You have to practice radical acceptance.”

Smart Eating and Acceptance.

Many of us past meno struggle to accept our bodies. Compared to when we were 16, 26, or even 36, how much — and when — we ate became an entirely new game.

When I finally lost my weight (ages 36 to 42), I wouldn’t have known to use the word “acceptance,” but in retrospect that’s the mental process I ended up at.

I remember sitting in traffic one afternoon thinking, I don’t care anymore whether I lose or not. If it’s the last thing I do, I’m overhauling my eating habits. And what happens, happens. (Trust me, my habits needed major help.)

I stopped stepping on the scale every morning; I put it away and didn’t bring it with us on our moves. Back then my mantra was: it’s about smart eating habits, smart eating habits, smart eating habits. (I do use one today each morning. I call it my feedback-device.)

Saying “smart eating habits”, was like a drumbeat that rolled through my mind daily for many years. It’s yours now, you’ll find it super helpful.

Before Acceptance.

Take a look at the voices that plagued me for years before I finally made it to “acceptance.”

By “acceptance” I mean that I developed a deep understanding that I had to limit my calories if I wanted to wear a specific clothes size. No, the dryer didn’t shrink my jeans, my husband’s bad eating habits didn’t cause me to have a weight issue, and the holidays don’t wreck my eating plan. Acceptance means that I am the only one in charge of what goes into my mouth.

Before acceptance, my voice of denial said, I don’t eat that much, but I still carry all this extra weight. Or, I don’t eat that much, but I still have this pot-belly. Or, I don’t eat that much, why do I have bat wings like my third grade teacher?

The anger within me said, It’s so unfair that I can’t have a couple of bowls of ice cream every evening like the rest of the world!! It’s not fair!!

My inner Eeyore lamented, others get to have what they want. But not me. I’ll never get a handle on this eating thing. The effort is futile.

Ready for the Good News?

Our past doesn’t have the answers to accepting and navigating our smart eating lifestyle.

It’s our future-selves that have the best scoop.

Gems from Your Pen

I get it: communicating with our future-self for wisdom sounds odd, but you might be surprised at how well this idea works.

Ask future-you to write to today-you. It can be any you in your future: you in the summer, you in six months, even you in five years, ten years, and so on. Allow future-you to come alive – so to speak — through the journaling process. Remind yourself that you’ll show this writing to nobody so it’s okay if you ramble, cry (me), or go off on tangents (me again).

Merely thinking about the answers to these prompts isn’t the same as writing out the answers. And, btw, that disdainful voice of negativity is your self-sabotage voice making entirely too much noise. Don’t allow that voice to take up square footage in your mind. She’s insidious and primed to annihilate what you’ve started, so always be on the lookout for her and send her packing.

I’m 57 so I wrote from my future 60-year-old self.

Write at least three responses — more is strongly encouraged — to the following. Remember you’re answering the questions as if you’re the older person writing to the now-you:

• Today I’m reaping the benefits for. . . 
• Love, love, love that you put so much time into . . .
• The three best habits you developed for me are . . .
• Awesome that you overcame . . .
• Thrilled that you . . .
• You really internalized . . .
• Somehow you knew that I would need . . .
• Because now I really feel . . .
• Spend special time now with . . .
• It would be easier for me today if you’d . . .
• I would love it if you’d . . .
• What I want you to know is . . .

I haven’t finished reading Radical acceptance by Tara Brach. Two people that I really respect says it’s a great book. Start with your library before you surf Amazon. It might be a keeper-book for some and a great library read for others.

When you shift from past-thinking to future-thinking, you begin to open — like a blossoming flower — to the many opportunities that will support you in up-leveling your smart eating habits.

I would love it if you’d leave a question in the comment’s section below. What part of smart eating are you struggling with? 🙂

Remember, it’s not just your imagination. Health is hard!

Make it a magical week, everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

Some links may be affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases. Of course you incur no additional cost.

One December morning I pulled my van into the Trader Joe’s parking lot with my twin six month olds in their car seats. I parked, stepped out of the van to haul out the stroller and – out of my peripheral – could see a man approaching. He was shouting something in a fake-jovial kind of way towards me as my mom-antennae jumped to life and started going berserk.

Without kids? I’m Ms. Polite to any stranger. Normally I’d smile – and if I had a bad vibe – would simply walk quickly into the store.

As the guy approached, keeping my two protected was my only focus. He was six feet or so from me when I put out a halt-right-now hand and growled, “Back up! I have babies!”

He said something like, “okay”, swiveled and sped off.

Whatever game he was playing he’d have to play it somewhere else.

Going mama bear. All of us do it at some point in our lives: for the safety of our child, or a beloved companion animal; there’s even a sweet story about Princess Margaret going mama bear on behalf of her big sister, Queen Elizabeth.

A Super Tool in Your Arsenal

Everyone has a mama bear story. Which is awesome for us because knowing what a mama bear-vibe feels like allows us to apply this amazing energy to our own lives.

Everything we need to enjoy wild success starts with our ability to stay tapped into our internal mama bear.

How did I mama bear my weight loss?

To begin, I put nothing ahead of losing (and today, maintaining). Let me be more specific. When I was losing the last of my weight, the kids were my top priority; then my husband, and finally my darling animals.

After that, nothing got in the way of my Smart Eating plan. Not family- or friend-visits, not vacations, not sick kids, not a broken foot – should I go on? – nothing came before losing.

Did I say nothing?

I meant, absolutely nothing.

How to Lose Like a Mama Bear

To lose (and maintain) after 50, it’s essential that you turn on your mama bear and aggressively advance on your Smart Eating lifestyle.

Aggressive action isn’t merely important. It’s everything.

These are just a handful of examples of how a mama bear creates a Smart Eating lifestyle:

• She loves and reveres the eating plan she’s chosen — WW, Noom, calorie counting and so forth — and doesn’t jump from miracle-diet to miracle-diet.
• She has the most beautiful journal and pen that she keeps in the kitchen to record her food decisions after each meal.
• If she prefers to plan her meals in her journal, she carefully puts a check mark or something like it on each item after she’s eaten. (She stays engaged with her journal.)
• On Sundays she’s a maniac about chopping and bagging veggies for the week to come. She creates various meals too so that she can grab something healthy when her week gets busy.
• She’s a psycho about not eating after her designated time-window closes (say 6:00 pm).
• She becomes – over time – so committed to no sugar that she doesn’t even eat birthday cake on her own birthday. Her family thinks she’s a weirdo.
• She’s joined two online book groups who share great titles with her and she insists on going to the library at least once a week to stay stocked in amazing reads (my top favorites here).
• She says good-bye permanently to certain gateway-foods like all chips, all fast food, and all morning pastries like donuts, bagels or those ginormous muffins at Starbucks. When she’s on the road and finds herself on empty she’ll stop at Taco Bell and order one bean burrito. al fresco style.
• When someone tells her, “life is too short. Live a little! Eat, eat!” She internally rolls her eyes thinking, you’re right: life is too short to be uncomfortable in my own body. I decide my weight, not our food-porn culture.
• She’s repelled by the idea of eating food “so it won’t go to waste.” She thinks, my stomach is not a trash can. (Sheesh.)
• She stays as educated as possible on the current body of knowledge re: nutrition.
• She rarely misses working out with weights because she knows bone density decreases after menopause, and stays committed to daily movement to keep her heart in shape too. (She wants to run around with her grand kids or someone else’s one day.)

I could go on, but you get the idea. When we mama bear our Smart Eating plan, we aggressively go after what we’re determined is ours.

Mama bears don’t hope someone won’t harm their cubs.

Mama bears are focused.

Mama bears are terrifying.

And nothing will stop a mama bear from protecting what matters most to her.

Mama bear the hell out of your Smart Eating dreams, and take your life from the occasional sparkler to a full-on fireworks show.

Happy August everyone!

As always let me know in the comments below what you’d love to see more of!

♥, Wendy

Somewhere within the last two decades, it dawned on me that my abysmal self-talk needed a makeover.

This is Your Brain on Hyperbole.

When I tell myself that I’m starving to death, my cavewoman-brain springs into action thinking: holy cow, the chick that I work for is in a horrifying situation yet again which only I can repair.

And with that, you’ll find me diving into the highest caloric porn-food I can find.

So, rather than telling ourselves, I could eat a horse, we need to instead put our laser-beam focus on the hunger-scale that says if we’re at a “one,” we’re very full (to the point of not feeling good) and if we’re at a ten we’re incredibly hungry (like get-woozy-and-pass-out hungry).

A Fabulous New Habit.

Our challenge is to develop the habit (remember, sixty-six days of monitoring) of keeping our tummies at a four or a five. Once I’ve hit a six, I’m likely sliding into a seven, an eight, and then into the ice cream.

After 15 years of maintenance, I still fantasize about how amazing several packets of peanut M&Ms sound. That is, until my pre-frontal shows up and says, “look, you’re merely hungry. Eat something that provides the fuel you need, and the M&M fantasy will disappear.”

And omg. It. disappears. every. time. The minute I’m feeling satiated with cottage cheese, yogurt, an apple and so forth, I completely stop thinking about the peanut M&Ms.

Your Takeaway.

Catch yourself when you default into hyperbole and replace “I’m dying of starvation” with where am I on the hunger-scale?

Keep yourself at a four or a five and your ability to stay on your smart eating path skyrockets.

Best tip #1: I never leave home without my cold bag of baby carrots, cut up broccoli, slices of cucumber, yogurt, cut up apples and the like. The idea being that I’ll munch on stuff while driving that I otherwise wouldn’t necessarily find time for at home.

Look for a beautiful insulated lunch box. Many of the pretty ones are way too small to be functional.

Best tip #2: Consider thinking about your home and kitchen as a “safe space” where smart food is in abundance. Meaning make your kitchen a happy place with plenty of convenient healthy food that you can grab quickly like hard-boiled eggs, a teaspoon of peanut butter on a banana, an oatmeal bowl with fruit and so forth.

As always, let me know if you have questions or suggestions in the comment section below. I read and love comments! 🙂

And remember, you were right all along. Health is hard.

♥, Wendy

Vintage honeymoons of old seem quaint by modern standards. Back in the day, two young people – say a Laura and Rob Petri type — had a sweet chapel wedding followed by a cake and punch reception in the family’s backyard. At some point during the reception, the beaming couple would appear in travel clothes and – under a shower of rice — would drive off tin cans rattling from behind to a honeymoon destination.

Until Jackie Kennedy and JFK married thereby turning up the volume on fancy weddings across the globe.

But that’s another story.

The Honeymoon & Losing After 50.

You and I are pros at losing weight. We begin a new smart eating plan and proudly commit for two weeks, two months, maybe even two years.

But then one day we realize that our smart eating plan repeatedly forgets to flush, never vacuums, and thinks dining out means Papa John’s.

The honeymoon has left the building.

And when the honeymoon wears off our smart eating plan, we stumble, slip, and fall head first into months and months of overeating. Until we’re horribly uncomfortable in our clothes and a high school reunion looms on our horizon, and we’re ready to commit. Again. This time, we tell ourselves, will be different.

But the cycle repeats.

Skirt the Honeymoon Dilemma.

The beginning of any amazing journey begins with the honeymoon stage. It’s totally normal; part of being human. You’re in the honeymoon when you hold your newborn; score your forever home; or buy the car you’ve always wanted.

A smart eating plan’s honeymoon is no different. In the beginning the weight is coming off at a good clip and anyway we love chopping up bags of veggies every Sunday for the week to come. We talk to anyone who’ll listen about our new plan (we’ve never slept better!!). And we wonder why we didn’t start this better way of eating years and years ago?

But when our spectacular friend, the honeymoon, wanes we assume something has gone wrong. That we should always feel that chopping vegetables every Sunday is so fun. Or that we sleep just fine and a bowl of vanilla mixed with strawberry jam (I was out of chocolate syrup) before bed sounds perfect. That — in fact — the ease of the honeymoon period should be with us 365 days a year. For, like, ever.

Otherwise something must be faulty at the core. This losing after 50 thing is going way too slowly anyhow. It’s not even working. Nobody loses and maintains after menopause. Why did I get my hopes up?!

But here’s the deal: honeymoons end. Newborns turn teenager, the house needs a new roof and the car is just the thing you use to get from A to B.

Navigating Reality 101.

The reality-moon is now on deck.

Have you heard of the messy middle? It’s a term used in tandem with business projects that begin beautifully only to hit the maddening obstacles of the messy middle.

Knowing that the honeymoon period fades as the messy middle arrives puts you in the captain’s chair. You now have the knowledge you need to prepare smart strategies for managing the many whack-a-mole moments that are a normal part of a smart eating lifestyle.

Journal-Writing Gems.

Can you take one more plug for journal-writing? Free-writing about our smart eating issues produces remarkable wisdom from our own brains. Write and write and write with plans to show nobody. You’ll be stunned at what flows onto the page.

Journal about these prompts.

• From past experience, I know I’m in the honeymoon period because I . . . (give at least five answers).
• It won’t be so jarring when the honeymoon period ends if I know . . .
• When my smart eating plan and I hit the messy middle, that’s when I began to  . . .
• I’d better tolerate the messy middle if I’d  . . .
• I can make peace with the messy middle by . . .
• If I learn to navigate the messy middle I’ll learn . . .
• Three times in my life when I’ve handled the messy middle beautifully is . . .
• Here’s how I can apply these successful moments to my smart eating messy middle . . .

If more ideas and thoughts come to you, run with it.

Romancing the End.

Given that there’s a beginning and middle stage of weight loss, I can hear you wondering whether an end is in sight.

From my humble experience, yes and no.

Yes, because after a decade of embedding amazing smart eating habits into the cells of my being, eating well has become – I don’t love this word – easier. (Not easy. Easier.) No matter what’s happening in my life – broken foot, irritable teens, a car accident – I maintain my smart eating habits.

But no, because losing after 50 with the goal of maintaining forever means daily vigilance around my smart eating habits. Obstacles abound in our food-porn world. People push: eat, it’s your birthday! Eat, it’s 4^th of July! Eat, life is short!

Which is exactly the point. Life is short. And you and I get to decide the size of our bodies — not the on-steroids food industry.

Wish me happy birthday. As Samantha once said on SATC, “I’m fifty — ‘effn — seven!” (She was 45, but you get the idea.) In my brain, however, I’m still 22. If I’m really honest: 12.

Have a wonderful end to your July!

And remember it’s not just your imagination, health is hard.

♥, Wendy

P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

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As a young person, I had zero confidence. Back in the 80s I would never mumble what seemed to be true: that working out didn’t appear to work in terms of losing weight. I’d been a Jane Fonda, Jazzercise, and Lilias, Yoga and You woman for years.

None impacted my weight.

Being shy, I wouldn’t share my thoughts about fitness losing weight. I just figured I was doing it wrong.

As far as I could tell, the only activity that made a dent in my weight was cutting back on calories. Today, this idea has hit the streets as fairly common knowledge.

Don’t get me wrong, working out like a SEALs team member, Michael Phelps, or Jillian Michaels definitely equals weight loss. However, the thirty minute walk or yoga class most of us take isn’t going to result in a scale trending downward.

Fast-forward to today. It doesn’t seem like word has reached the “experts” on smart eating, and it’s not only about calories-in, calories-out either. The powers-that-be are also misguided in thinking that skipping breakfast when using the intermittent fasting plan is a great idea, but is not.

When people are using the intermittent fasting plan, they’re often ‘eating whatever they want’ during their open window for meals. In doing so, they’re not developing the foundational new habits they need to maintain a weight loss forever (versus yo-yo-ing). Creating — and maintaining — strong habits is the backbone of forever-losing.

For the last year I’ve used myself as a guinea-pig to test that type of eating that I now think works well: eating like a king for breakfast, a princess for lunch, and a pauper for dinner.

At first I was reluctant to try this eating plan. I’ve kept 55 off for 16 years now, and I didn’t want to tinker with what wasn’t broken. At the same time, I wanted to see if the Royal Eating Plan (REP) would work. (Btw, I didn’t make this plan up, it’s been around for over 100 centuries.)

Take a look:

My King-Sized Breakfast.

Yesterday’s breakfast was one bagel with a generous smear of whipped cream cheese. Calories: 200 in the bagel, 70 in two tablespoons of cream cheese and I probably had three or four tablespoons. (I’m not a fan of bagels, but there wasn’t much food in the house. Very unusual for me: I believe in having your “food tools” always on-hand.)

A large handful of unsalted nuts. Calories: 190 for ¼ cup. I had at least a half-cup.

Two Madeleine cookies. Calories: 150 for two with seven grams of fat.

I would have had orange juice, but we were out.

For someone maintaining a 55-pound loss, that’s a big breakfast, right? But I created two hard and fast rules for myself: (1) breakfast had to be over by 9 a.m. and

(2)nI could never eat so much at breakfast that I wouldn’t be ready for lunch at noon or 1:00 p.m.

My Princess Lunch

I “lunch like a princess” from about noon to 4:00 meaning I’ll have two light meals.

Around 12:30 p.m. I had the oatmeal bowl that I’ve eaten every day for two decades while listening to my favorite podcast. (Half-cup dried oatmeal cooked, one cup blueberries, half cut up Honeycrisp, all topped in a quarter cup of my favorite yogurt. Vanilla, low-fat, Kroger) Good food, great episode, a relaxing moment in my day.

Around 2:00 I had a half-cup cottage cheese (I’m into cottage cheese at the moment).

At 4:00 I had a small Chobani yogurt (love coconut).

My Pauper’s Dinner

Dinner was a veggie and brown rice bowl that I make (with 1/2 cup cooked brown rice). If I’m eating with my family I have a tiny portion of the lasagna or whatever. (I  don’t have seconds of food and I always Eat Before I Eat when I’m with others so I don’t come to the table truly hungry.) I finish dinner by 6:30 p.m. at the very latest. (Six is better.)

When it’s bedtime, if I’m a tad hungry I’ll have 1/3 of a banana, half an apple or something similar; but whatever food I have, it’s tiny. (I never go to sleep hungry, but I don’t feel full either.)

Our Tummies Respond

I know you know, but it bears repeating. The less we eat, the more it becomes the “new normal” for tummy. It works the other way too: if we eat a lot, our stomach thinks that’s the new normal.

It really is just that simple, and yet I know that it takes time and conscious effort to transition to a large breakfast, moderate lunch, and light dinner.

Remember my favorite study out of England? It concluded that it takes 66 days of a particular behavior to turn the behavior into a solid habit. Keep a running “one sentence” journal each day of the 66 days you use the Royal Eating Plan. Writing about the behavior we want to embed strengthens our engagement with the new behavior. (I keep my journals on OneNote.)

And yes, I still use my eating structure (WW in my case) with the Royal Eating Plan, but I only count my large breakfasts as two to four points. In other words I factor in the calories to some extent, but not much because our bodies just don’t hold onto morning calories for whatever reason.

My thought: put sticky notes throughout your life to remind yourself of the habits you’re creating for yourself.

Also write stickies reminding yourself that you can save the brownies that everyone else is eating in the evening to have at breakfast with your morning coffee. I do this exact thing all the time so I don’t feel left out of having “fun” food.

Don’t be hard on yourself, it takes time to establish the habit of saving an evening dessert for the morning, but the results will convince you.

Having my Brownies & Eating Them Too

What I’ve come to love about breakfasting like a king is that I don’t feel constant deprivation as in — poor me — I can’t have anything porn-ish ever again because I’m over 50 and way past menopause. But with the REP I still score fun food, the time of day I have the treat is the only difference from everyone else.

When I first realized that a large breakfast was pretty close to a calorie-free meal I went a little bonkers. I was like, get out!! Are you saying that I can have those shortbread cookies The Scarfer always buys at Trader Joe’s? (It’s fine, he beams at his nickname.)

I can have graham crackers with peanut butter (tastier than it sounds) and even those brown sugar packet oatmeal things that I never get anymore? What dream world had I stepped into?! (Of course keeping in mind that I always adhere to my two rules: (1) stop breakfast by 9 a.m. and (2) don’t eat so much that I won’t be hungry for lunch.)

Here’s the weird thing, after eating on the REP for about two years the novelty of breakfast treats has worn off.

I’m not kidding. Wore off.

These days I have a handful (or more) of nuts in the morning (tasty and good for our hearts), maybe a small spoonful of peanut butter, and often my green smoothie that’s filling. But if the family had something food-pornish the night before, I’ll eat mine at breakfast.

Try the Royal Eating Plan for eight weeks and see how well it works. The bottom line (no pun) results in my life: I’m currently at the middle range of my four-pound weight window.

Want more info on this life altering eating style? Check out these two articles.

ScienceDaily: Eating dinner early, or skipping it, may be effective in fighting body fat.

NIH (National Institute of Health: Timing of Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. Effects on Obesity and Metabolic Risk.

As always, I love getting questions in the comment section below or email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com.

And please always remember: it’s not your imagination. Health is hard.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Welcome to a new section called: Q & A!! If the question’s been asked, it’s likely that all of us are struggling with the same problem. Let’s share and raise our Jedi mind trick knowledge together.

I’d love it if you’d ask questions in the comment section below and — if you’re okay with it, no names of course — I’ll include your thoughts in a future post. (Or email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com!)

I’m Smart. Why Can’t I Make It Work?!

A reader writes:

I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. I’ve done all the “head work” related to my eating/food issues and can clearly mark the problem areas and even how to fix them. So – if I know where the problems are and what to do – why aren’t I losing?

My response:

It took many years for me to truly connect that eating several brownies starts with a (rogue) thought in my brain. Let me give you an example. Say my company is downsizing and I’m laid off. I then have a thought about being let go. From this one situation, there are many responses:

• First the thought: Omg. My husband is out of work. We’ll lose the house! Then the feeling: fear.
• Thought: Wow. I’ve wanted to start an e-business forever. Looks like now’s the time. Feeling: apprehensive, but excited.
• Thought: Awesome! We’ve been talking about moving to a new state for ages. Adventure: here we come! Feeling: thrilled.

After having our feeling (fear, excited, thrilled) we then kick into action. Most of us — on this site – feel a feeling and overeat. It might be stress-eating or what I call the 3Es: every-emotion-eating.

One more example.

A young woman has been 30 pounds over her preferred weight since middle school. She often tells friends, “No matter what I do, I can’t lose. The weight will not budge.”

Our young woman gets engaged and drops thirty to fit into her dress.

Nothing changed.

Except everything changed: her thinking.

Losing and maintaining always begins in our brain. Every poor food choice starts in our synapses. Once you make this internal shift, you’ll approach weight loss in an entirely new way.

The diet industry has done a number on our culture. They’ve long framed weight loss as a food or a willpower or a “Just Do It” kind of thing.

It’s not.

It’s much bigger: it’s a thinking thing. ♥

Happy early July everyone!

And remember, it is NOT your imagination. Heath is hard.

♥, Wendy