You’re working hard at smart eating. Pounds are coming off slowly, but that’s a good thing, right? (One hundred percent: yes.)

You meet a newish friend for lunch, and tell her about your smart eating plan and she says, “I know the pain, twenty years ago I gave up cigarettes.”

Inside you’re thinking, well it’s not quite the same. We can give up cigarettes (which, btw, is a monumental accomplishment), but we can’t exactly scrub food from our lives.

And yet.

What if we could? Wouldn’t saying goodbye to food altogether make losing and maintaining after age fifty, like five thousand percent easier?

Yes, it would and yes it does.

Goodbye To Youuuu!

Obviously we can’t give up food entirely, but we can commit to removing categories of so-called “food” that look all happy and fun, but are not – repeat not – our friend.

This is how I kicked food out of my life:

First: Lose the Ding Dongs

I deep-sixed all processed junk food that you and I can find in any grocery store – phony-foods like bakery items, donuts, cookies, candy, the entire ice cream aisle and so forth – from my life.

Second: Get McSmart

I eliminated all fast food from my days like McDonalds, Dunkin, Starbucks and a billion of their brethren.

The one exception I make re: fast food, is when on a trip and we’re hungry (and I don’t have my trusty cold bag of food), we stop at Taco Bell. I’ll order one bean burrito “fresco style” meaning diced tomatoes substitute for something gross. (Google “nutrition” and “Taco Bell” for other smart meals.)

Third: Here’s the Skinny

I can see you nodding at the first two “give-these-up” food categories, but I’m afraid I’ll lose you on this one: eating in nice restaurants.

None of us want to give up eating out, right? Right.

So here’s what I do and it works beautifully: I take the large menu and constrain my options by ordering from one of two spots only: the appetizer or salad section.

If I go the salad route, I ask that any unhelpful ingredients like croutons, too much cheese, honey-glazed nuts, and anything fried (like taco shells) be left off. (And, as we’ve done forever, dressing on the side.)

But let’s say the appetizer and salad menus are both a no-go, in that case I order the smartest item I can find on the menu, and when the server brings our meals I request a to-go box right away.

Before I start eating I scoop half or more of the meal into the doggie-box and put it as outside of my vision as possible. I eat the other half of the meal for lunch the next day. (Do the eat half now, half tomorrow hack often enough becomes a great habit for not overeating in a restaurant.

That said, I largely order from the salad menu happy to get a large serving of veggies for the day. Do I use the dressing that’s on the side? I do, but I lightly touch my fork tines into the dressing before taking a salad bite.

Fourth: There’s a Party Going On Right Here

Special Occasion Foods. I can hear you now, “for crying out loud! Is this woman about to suggest that I don’t have wedding cake on my daughter’s big day? No pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving? Not even a slice of celebratory cake when my kids graduate from college?

Yes and no.

Here’s the thing, our long-term plan is that we’re training ourselves to celebrate events in ways that don’t put a focus on “food” that doesn’t have a shred of nutrition within.

There’s nothing wrong with a slice of cake at your daughter’s wedding. Or one slice of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. No biggie.

The problem comes into play when our entire calendar is packed with “celebrations” (coworkers’ birthdays, my grandson graduated middle school, my dog’s tumor isn’t malignant and so forth).

Take a good look at your calendar and if you’re celebrating with food on the regular, it’s time to find new ways to celebrate. For example:

• Weddings that you throw can easily lead to stress-eating, so eat well before the official meal. No time? Keep a sliced apple and Cliff bar in your purse. The idea is to sit down to eat relatively full. Spend your time dancing, taking photos or just attending to the wedding party.
• For Thanksgiving have a professional manicure and request an array of fall colors on your fingers (one nail burnt orange, one chocolate brown, another ruby red etc). When the holiday arrives, use your beautiful nails as a reminder to have one piece of pie only.
• Celebrate your dog’s wonderful news by taking her on a fun hike.

The second way to enjoy the occasional celebratory moment is to cut back on, say, dinner so that having a slice of birthday cake is not a problem.

The Magic Ingredient

Set yourself up for success by planning to develop these habits slowly. Give yourself sixty-six days (according to the English study I love) to establish the “I don’t do fast-food” habit.

Every Sunday or Monday, Journal-write exactly how you plan to avoid fast-food stops each day for the coming week. Planning is huge.

Why Measure It?

Plan to track your daily progress like this:

5-5-21 – Taking a new route home from work so that I don’t drive by Chick-fil-A. Day 3.

5-6-21 – Hope wanted to grab lunch with me at Subway. Felt safe explaining to her I’m working on my smart habits. Day 4!!

Recently, I tracked my “no sugar in the evenings” habit for seventy-two days until I realized that the habit had become a part of me. If I do the math — I’m doing it now — I’m actually on Day 117 having had no sugar after dinner. And since I don’t eat sugar during the day, I guess you’d call me a no-sugar person now.

Keeping track of my progress has been – and still is – a huge part of my success. Using OneNote I track all sorts of habits that I’m working to uplevel.

If we’re to stay lean and healthy in our food-gone-wild culture, playing a strong defense is crucial.

I’d love it if you’d share which category of food you plan to ditch once and for all.

Always remember, it’s not just you: health is hard!!

♥, Wendy

You know that the five stages of grief apply to a loved one’s passing. But food? How do the five stages apply to being over fifty and smart eating?

Take a look:

• Food Denial – Pour me another margarita! Who has the chips? Food is not a problem. I merely overdo it here or there. I’ll eat well for a month and the pounds will melt off (but they don’t).
• Food Anger – My entire life I’ve eaten more food than I do now and it wasn’t a problem. But now I’m on less food and gaining. What the he@# is happening?!
• Food Bargaining – I’ll inhale this pan of brownies right this second, and start a healthy eating plan Monday morning.
• Food Depression/sadness – But I want to eat half the cheesecake. It seems like everyone else gets fun-food but me. I either get awesome food or I starve. 🙁
• Food Acceptance – Heavy sigh. We live in a food-gone-wild culture with a thousand temptations across every mile. If I want to live at a specific weight, there are clear-cut steps I need to take.

Which Stage Are You?

Denial.

You and I are past fifty and are years and years past denial when it comes to smart eating. So it’s unlikely that most of us harbor illusions that the thirty extra pounds will be a snap to lose.

We’re so not in denial.

Anger.

But anger, now this is an emotion we can get behind. In our 40s we finally lost the baby weight that hung on for years, and figured out an eating plan that — even if it didn’t help us lose — didn’t cause gain.

Then menopause hit, our weight inched upward, and our stomach went all kangaroo pouch.

As my friend Barbara would say, “WTF?!”

It sure seems like just as we became accustomed to our adult body in our 40s – not perfect, but good enough – somebody pulled the rug out from under us and told us to get used to the kangaroo-pouch expanding every year.

Yes. Definitely angry. Count us in.

Bargaining.

Everyone knows how the bargaining stage rolls.

We tell ourselves:

• I’m eating tons of great food on this vacation lol, but as soon as I get home it’s nothing but salads-no-dressing and smoothies for me!
• Or, I can eat the homemade ice cream this summer with the kids because I’ll walk for an hour every morning.
• And finally, I toss a lot of my favorite dark chocolate into the grocery cart. It’s okay because I’ll only take a nibble.

I lounged for decades in the bargaining stage.

Depression/Sadness.

We know we’re in the depression/sadness stage when we watch our family plowing through waffles on Sunday morning only to think, I’m so bummed to be over fifty and not able to eat like everyone else.

Or, if I didn’t overeat so much on the regular, I wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place. (Wendy’s note: this is not necessarily true of the post-menopausal woman.)

And then – one day — we might see acceptance on the horizon.

Acceptance!

Acceptance — the misunderstood stage of grief — means that while we don’t like it we’ve made peace with the reality that if we want to be a size eight, ninety-five percent of the time we need to eat smart food in small portions.

Acceptance says that we will likely gain if we don’t make changes to our eating plan. What worked in our 40s, won’t work in our 50s.

Acceptance also says that smart eating at smart times of the day – as in, eating after seven o’clock in the evening is not a good idea for most of us – will deliver a downward trending scale.

Acceptance adds that no, it’s not fair that everyone else gets to have fun-food while we have to rewire our brains to navigate our food-is-everywhere world.

Bridging to Acceptance.

The thing about food and the grief stages is that you can absolutely be in two stages at once. Or more likely bounce back and forth between two stages.

One week you might feel like, I’ve made it!! I accept that I prefer a size-eight pant-size to unlimited eating. I feel great.

And then the next week you might bounce back to the bargaining stage thinking, Mexican food on Cinco de Mayo can’t be a bad thing, right? And just to be clear: special food on a holiday is always fine. It’s the portion size that matters when it comes to getting to – and remaining at — a size-eight.

The Mission Should You Accept It

When it comes to the best therapy ever I’m committed to the value of therapy-writing. Not just in thinking answers, but in actually writing the answers. (I use a One Note program, but many rave about Evernote.)

First, journal-write about the five stages and answer these questions:

• Which stage(s) do you live within? Feel free to give more than one. (Some move from one stage to another in the course of the same day.) As an example, let’s say you discover you’re in the bargaining stage.
• How has the bargaining stage helped you in life (there’s often a reward to behavior we’d rather ditch)? How is it hurting you?
• What would you need to do — or think — to leave bargaining and head towards acceptance?
• List three things you’d miss by leaving the bargaining stage.
• List three reasons about why the acceptance stage seems so hard.
• What will you have to accept or understand to live in the acceptance stage?
• How can you bring daily awareness to living with acceptance?
• Living in the acceptance stage will mean. . .

How to Talk to Yourself is Huge.

Mantra is a woo-woo word that I use to mean: repeat this new info. to yourself on the regular. You’re essentially rewiring how you think about food.

The acceptance mantras go like this:

• I’m over fifty and I get it: if I want to be a size-eight, I can’t eat like I’m thirty-eight.
• I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, but can’t also be a size-eight.
• Bakery treats versus size-eight jeans? I choose size-eight jeans. (I say this to myself all the time when my husband lays out his bakery buffet.)

Remember, acceptance is about making peace with reality. There’s a reality to being over fifty: for example, some of us (maybe me) could really use a hearing aide, sometimes we forget mid-sentence what we’re talking about, and we can’t eat like we did in our thirties and forties.

If smart eating and losing weight are a priority, a lighter weight can be yours but it means making a difficult daily choice: chocolate croissant with your morning coffee or size-eight jeans?

My new sign off I once heard a friend say (her part in quotes): It is not just your imagination, “health is hard.”

Please share in the comments below which stage you’re in and ideas you have to bridge to the acceptance stage. It’s so cool that we can build a community and learn from each other in the comments section. 🙂

Always remember, it’s not just you. Health is hard!

♥, Wendy

Photo by Erol Ahmad for Unsplash

In high school I once got an F on an algebra report card. (Not proud.)

I knew my parents would freak.

(Deep breath.) So I turned that F into a B avoiding my parents’ meltdown. (Really, really not proud.)

Later, I tore that subterfuge into a jillion little pieces, and stuffed them into my jewelry box where they sit to this day — 41 years later.

I still get nervous when I accidentally run across them.

If Only School Taught This

Point is, we’re not taught how to fail and then how to right our own ship.

We’re not taught that failing again and again makes us stronger, and that persevering with determination is one of the best character traits we can develop. Ever.

We’re never reminded of Edison famously saying, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

The Importance of Plan 2.0

We’ve all long asked: how can I stop myself from slipping (once called cheating)?

Thing is, everybody slips off the smart eating path (because we’re human and our food-world is on steroids).

A much better question is: After I’ve slipped, how do I get back on my smart eating path?

That said, create a strong and reliable Plan 2.0 for yourself. And please, don’t just keep your individual Plan B in your mind. Actually write out your entire back-up plan.

Having a written Plan 2.0 where we can see it everyday is a key to forever weight loss.

Here’s my individual back-up plan:

One

Let’s say, I find The Scarfer’s stash of chocolate. Before I slip, I ask myself: Do I want the chocolate stash I found or do I want to be a size 8?

Two

Let’s say I eat the junky food. My Plan 2.0 says, “take two inspirational podcast episodes and call me in the morning.”

And this is exactly what I do. I have a list of music, Netflix shows, and podcasts that put me into a different frame of mind. Also, if I’m overeating at night I grab a good book and head upstairs to brush my teeth and read in bed. I remind myself that I’ll feel much better in the morning.

And I always do.

Bottom line, I have a real Plan B that works wonders in helping me to contain the damage. I have a safety net of sorts. I stop the free fall of poor eating habits.

I don’t tend to slip in the daytime, but if I do it’s usually because I’m bored. My Plan 2.0 outlines what to do when life gets old. Don’t underestimate how being bored can send you straight to the Oreo’s. Create a Plan 2.0 and stick to it. Keep it front-and-center where you’ll see it daily.

Notice what I don’t do when I slip: I don’t beat myself up, call myself names and spin into the hopeless/helpless zone. Not only do I contain the caloric-damage, but I contain the emotional-damage too.

Three

The morning after a binge, I get right back onto my smart eating path — keeping in mind that slips are just part of life — and am extra gentle with myself the entire day. After slipping, I’ve bought flowers for my desk, once had a pedi, and another time let myself get cozy on the couch with a book during “work hours.”

You’ve Got This

Now for the fun part.

Take creating your own Plan 2.0 seriously. Journal-write about it and admit to yourself how — and in what quantity — slips happen in your life. (Good place to say: If specific foods are a problem, ban them from the house for the next year or ten.)

Plan how you’ll recover and only include plans that you can actually envision yourself doing. Plan 2.0s involve — like I said — flowers for your desk or kitchen, mani/pedis, cute new tops, a hair trim, and you get the gist. The last thing you should do is beat yourself up. In fact, the very opposite.

We’ve had it backwards the whole time. We thought slipping meant we should yell at ourselves when really it’s the most important moment to have our own backs.

No, It’s Not Just You

Remember it’s not your imagination. Losing and maintaining is rough. And after fifty? Rough squared. But with Plan 2.0 in place you now have a tool that you can count on forever.

In the comment below, share your most annoying slip behavior. When do you slip? Day? Night? At work? Weekend? And so forth. I’d love to hear from you.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

My favorite cold-tote

The best book-desserts on the planet

Remember that 1980s hair conditioner commercial? A blonde tells two friends, and they tell two friends, and so on, and so on?

Pretty soon the whole screen is blonde heads?

Dude!! That’s how I learned compounding!!

Most importantly, we can use this ingredient to our advantage.

Math You Will Love

Here’s the thing: we’re over 50 – go us! — and are pre-, post- or smack in the middle of menopause.

Sweating the small stuff + compounding = pounds lost, marathons run, and jeans that don’t cut you in half.

In other words, transforming tiny changes into forever habits delivers the goods. And no, you won’t read lame advice like drink more water or get more sleep.

Because duh.

Let’s go.

How Sweating the Small Stuff Really Works.

Embed these moves into your very cells. They’re small, but once they compound they become powerful.

A Spoonful of Not-Sugar.

Behold a super tool that I’ve using for over twenty years.

I keep not one, but four sets of measuring cups and spoons always at the ready. I measure everything: ½ cup dried oatmeal, one cup frozen blueberries, ¼ of yogurt and so forth.

I keep my measuring friends in a big, easy-to-reach, bowl in the cupboard. Commit to measuring, and watch the results.

Try to Accept this One Truism.

Kardashians are proof that life isn’t fair.

That said, it’s easy to lament that losing and — later — maintaining shouldn’t be this hard. But we over 50s can’t eat like we did when we were younger.

Here’s our new normal: plan small bites (aka meals) throughout the day. Don’t let yourself get hungry beyond a five. (One being full, ten famished. I try to stay at a three, maybe a four. But if I’m inching towards a five, The Scarfer’s Ben and Jerry’s is toast.)

These Babies Are Your New Go-To.

These babies will figure big-time into your life. When you leave the house: Purse, keys, phone, sunglasses, bag of baby carrots. Make baby carrots a system like grabbing your phone.

Ultimately? You want to feel naked if you’re driving off without your baby c’s.

Eat Before You Eat.

I’ve eaten this way for decades, but it’s a vlogger who named it: “Eat Before You Eat.” I say this one a lot, but that’s because it powerful.

Instead eat:

• Half an apple with a teaspoon of peanut butter.
• A bowl of steamed broccoli (I know, snoozy. But your cells and mitochondria are applauding).
• A hardboiled egg (keep on hand when you need something fast).

Wish I Owned Stock in Toothpaste.

I’m convinced that toothpaste alone has helped me lose big and maintain the loss throughout the years. Here’s how it works: eat dinner, brush teeth. And floss. (Commit to the toothbrush for 66 days. You’ll see.)

That’s it.

Celebrate and Record Tiny Wins.

There’s no way around this one, you must create a better relationship with yourself if you want to maintain weight loss forever

You cannot sabotage the massive effort you’re making by calling yourself every awful name just because you happen to slip.

Your mantra: slips happen. It’s nothing more than being human.

Calling yourself names is the last thing you need when you’re trying to get back on the Smart Eating Path. Treat yourself gently: a hot bath, good music, and amp-up the compassion.

Celebrate your tiny wins whether that’s eating a daily bowl of broccoli or drinking a spinach-blueberry-vanilla protein smoothie each day. Keep a running list in your computer’s One Note or Evernote program.

Write a “Go Me!” line each day celebrating your little – but pivotal – wins.

The Coolest Part

Say you eat a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s every single evening for a week.

No biggie.

But what if you eat the bowl of fancy ice cream every night for a year?

Ohhhh, you wanted to fit into your bathing suit? Sorry, but compounding worked against you on this one.

But!! Say you use the above tiny moves – measuring cups, bites throughout the day, baby carrots, Eat before You Eat, and celebrate the tiny-wins – every day. . . for a year? (Heck, for even four months.)

Blond heads all over your screen.

Happy End of March, everyone!!

♥, Wendy              

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Most of us get that we don’t overeat because we’re merely hungry.

Some of us developed a bad habit of overeating as kids. Others because of stress and/or trauma. And then there’s my personal favorite (and I know I’m not alone).

But before I go into my preferred reason for overeating, you should know that I tend to live as risk-free as possible. As in, not only do I wear a seat-belt, but I once floated the idea to friends that we should all wear crash helmets when we drive.

They rolled their eyes.

My Favorite Reason for Overeating

Turns out, when you’re ultra-cautious in life you’re also ultra-bored.

Back when, I was eating out of sheer boredom. And it wasn’t like I was bored for an afternoon. Entire days and weeks were snooze-fests.

The Prince is Bored Too

Many of us look to our life’s partner to put fun into our days. And I get it – we were raised on Disney princesses –, it’s tempting to think, “My prince is so boring.” But even if my husband booked a five-star cruise to Hawaii for a week of magic, the cruise ship would soon turn back into a pumpkin and I would return home . . .  still me (ribbet).

Your boredom belongs to you. Mine to me. And that’s the best news ever.

Why?

Because if boredom belongs to us alone — we can impact it big-time.

Six Ways to Drench Your Life in Excitement

Here’s what I’ve found that puts more excitement into my days:

The road to bliss

We’re all creators. Some of us cook and bake. Others knit, crochet or embroider. I write articles. A friend writes books. Another makes jewelry. One son draws. The other creates scores on his piano.

Unlike animals, human beings love to create. We build chicken coops, paint furniture, and fashion a beautiful photo arrangement over our couch in the living room. Each time my sister-in-law and her family move (Coast Guard), she transforms each basic home into a super cool, Pottery Barn-like jewel box, but without the insane price tag.

I’m committed to the idea that we don’t give enough awe and respect to the power of creating and how it affects our happiness. (Take me, at this very moment I’m stoked to be “talking” to you.)

Do you go for the gold?

When my boys were small, I wanted to be home with them 24/7 and thought being a professional writer would be cool.  

But then I realized – no — what I really wanted was to be a professional travel writer.

So for fourteen amazing years, I had the best time traveling with my goofy family.

That said, what is your golden dream?

Write and write and write about your dreams. Give your brain time to share the many nuggets that will spill forth.

Bette Midler Was Right

The older I get the more I want to re-connect with people I grew up with. I found one via Linked In, and another through her “old” email that still works.

Then there’s new friends. Dog park, Starbucks, library: people are everywhere (and everyone is looking for connection).

Why I scare myself daily

This one might seem like exploring your golden dream, but golden dreams are big like taking college courses aiming for a new career.

I suggest scaring yourself daily on a much smaller scale for maximum fun.

I was raised by a dad with sky high anxiety. Back in the day my dad would see rain and announce, “Everybody take cover!! Stay home!! People drive like maniacs in the rain!”

So for years, rain kept me home. But today I see rain and think, “Woo-hoo! Empty stores, banks, and post offices!!” Initially I was a little fearful re: driving in so-called bad weather, but today I love seeing rain clouds overhead. 🙂

Only you know what’s scary for you. Within reason, scare yourself every day and watch life become more interesting.

Your new hobby

We all have clutter-projects that need our love and attention. Mine is the fourth bedroom (packed boxes).

Chunk your projects down into baby projects that you can visualize actually doing. Put on your favorite tunes and putter your clutter.

A few of my favorite things

For many of us, reading a really amazing book is one of life’s greatest pleasures.

If you’re a book-lover, turning great reads into a new form of evening dessert is one of the smartest moves ever (here’s three to get you started: Cutting for Stone, A Thousand Splended Suns, and Pachinko).

One way to locate incredible books: check out a Facebook page called Bitter is the New Book Club.

Want to go even deeper?

But if you want to hear the most interesting talk on true happiness, listen to the Tim Ferris podcast on happiness hacks by Naval Ravikant #136. Super good!

I’d love to hear from you! What is your favorite way to bring excitement into your life?

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

My favorite cold-tote

The best book-desserts on the planet

I’m a huge believer in the power of books.

Great books fill in history holes (aka craters) from my school years, provide entertainment, and comfort me when life nosedives. And, as I’ve mentioned, I consider good books to be a perfect dessert (no calories).

If you’re also dropping sugar from your evenings try this hack: after dinner, brush your teeth, climb into bed and read, read, read.

The list of awesome books compiled here are either funny or inspirational.

And these gems are listed by alphabetical order — not by favorites. I honestly love them all.

Let’s go:

Fiction.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman. Hilarious and poignant.

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese. A masterpiece written by a surgeon. Mere coincidence, but I was reading Cutting for Stone while waiting to see a surgeon. As he entered the room he saw the book and said, “that is a great story.”

Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano. I’ve heard some readers love Dear Edward while some really don’t like it. I’m Team Love. Read to page 100 before deciding for yourself.

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. So funny and so sweet.

Free Food for Millionaires by Min Jin Lee. Standing ovation for this author’s second book.

Pachinko by Min Jin Lee. Her first book snagged the Pulitzer’s Fiction Runner Up in 2018 and is proof that aliens live among us.

The One Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson – Funny and phenomenal.

Non Fiction.

Bad Blood – Secrets and Lies Behind a Silicon Valley Startup by John Carryrou. Remember Elizabeth Holmes, the young woman who invented a device that could do a full health diagnostic on “one drop of blood?” Welp, spoiler: turns out the device was empty. John Carryrou was the reporter who broke the story and wrote one page-turner of a book. (I think I inhaled this in an afternoon.)

Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds by David Goggins. Awesomeness thy name is David Goggins (I suggest first reading Living with a Seal, before reading Can’t Hurt Me).

Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover. Word to the wise: don’t screw over Tara Westover like her parents did or she’ll write a book about you that will stay on the New York Times bestseller list for years and be translated into 45 languages. Just sayin’.

Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future by Ashlee Vance. This book is awesome to listen to on audio. The writer took what could have been a dry topic – I mean, rockets and electric cars? — and made it super entertaining. As a husband, Elon needs work, but as earth’s reigning deity? Not bad.

Is This Anything? by Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry at his best, but you definitely want to listen to the audio version that Jerry voices. Fun. Nee. (Plus Jerry is the gold-standard in the dad and husband department.)

Living with a SEAL — 31 days Training with the Toughest Man on the Planet by Jesse Itzler. This book was written by the guy who married Sara Blakely the Spanx founder. (He founded a bunch of companies too.) They’re both cajillion-aires, but are very salt-of-the-earth people whom you’d love to have as neighbors. The book is funny and smart.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt. Such a funny, wonderful, and true (ish) story, but definitely listen to the audio version to hear the various southern voices.

Simple Dreams: A Musical Memoir by Linda Ronstadt. I grew up with Linda Ronstadt’s music and never thought much about her, but after reading her memoir I now get it: Ronstadt was a powerhouse in the rock world.

The Choice: Embrace the Possible by Edith Eger. I’ll admit that I never read stories about concentration camps (too horrific), but this book is a five-star, don’t-miss wonder. The author — 94 as I write — shares stories about “boob” contests, her mother’s love of Gone with the Wind; and even an astounding escape from the communists in her country (a few years after WW II ended).

The Elephant in the Room — One Fat Man’s Quest to Get Smaller in a Growing America by Tommy Tomlinson. What a better world we’d live in if this book were required reading in all schools. A generation of kids with a deeper understanding and compassion for those with weight issues? Not only is it time, but Tomlinson is showing us the way.

The Color of Water by James McBride. OMG-audio-memoir alert! The story and the audio is phenomenal. As you can see, I love memoirs and have read many, but this one is unusually wonderful.

The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family, and Defiance during the Blitz by Erik Larson. Wow. That’s it: just wow. (One cool thing about this book: problems seem tiny compared to Churchill’s challenge of ridding the earth of Hitler and his flying monkeys.)

Does this Beach Make Me Look Fat by Lisa Scottoline and daughter Francesca Serritella. Lisa made her mark by writing mysteries which I’ve yet to read, but her memoir books are hilarious.

What are three of your favorite books?

And remember, it’s not just your imagination. Health is hard.

♥, Wendy

Apply to life as needed. 🙃

Photo & stunning dress by Heart My Closet.

Long ago I read about a woman in her 50s who’d had it with life: something went wrong (again) and she was done. She planned everything down to the smallest detail i.e. she knew how she’d off herself and who would find her; she’d even cleaned her home.

But then it occurred to her: she’d forgotten to spruce up. She hadn’t even bathed that day let alone brushed her teeth. Not wanting anyone to find her looking scruffy, she got to work.

She showered, blew out her hair, carefully applied make up, added jewelry, and chose a favorite top to go over cute jeans.

And you know what happened next: she looked at herself in the mirror and thought something along the lines of, “I look too damn good to give up now.”

And therein lies my point. Call it what you will — shallow, frivolous, juvenile — being pretty does something to our self-esteem, to our zest for life.

I’ve wrestled with this notion for years: I mean, it’s not like Shakespeare had to doll himself up before getting down to writing. Isn’t it at least a teeny bit shallow to care so much about how our hair and nails look?

As my toddler once yelled, “I says no!”

For some reason you and I are wired to care about our appearance. It probably has something to do with attracting the guy two caves over back when we were cavepeople. But “why” isn’t what we’ll noodle here, just knowing that pretty matters is the tool you and I can use to our advantage.

How to Turn Pretty into a Tool

When we look great we’re much more likely to go the extra mile for ourselves. In my case I work out more and I don’t hide when someone knocks at the front door. In a nutshell, I’m more into me and much less likely to row of Oreos a snack.

Rather than making the effort to look nice only now and then, consider turning “pretty” into a system that you do every single day forever. Some call it “showing up for your life.”

You matter: show up like you do.

And please don’t use the excuse, “Nobody will even notice or care” to get out of using the Pretty Tool. You’ll notice and you’ll care, and that’s where the magic begins.

The Magic of Baby Steps

I’m a huge believer in baby steps. If going full-on glam sounds exhausting, plan a baby step like:

• Do your nails.
• Spend extra time fixing your hair in the morning.
• Buy a pretty perfume – and actually use it. My favorite: Flower Bomb. (Love, love, love!)

One and done won’t cut it in this scenario. The brilliant trick is to turn a manicure, an extra five minutes of hair styling or a perfume spritz into a regular part of your day. Like, forever.

Losing weight – and maintaining the loss – is incredibly difficult. But it is do-able.

I’m not special. If I can pull 55-pounds off and maintain, so can you.

Using our Pretty Tool is just one more awesome method to make our path just a smidge easier.

And please don’t think it’s your imagination. Health is Hard.

♥, Wendy

“What harm can two pizza slices — plus extra crusts — really do?” I asked myself last night (as if I didn’t know).

Turns out, plenty.

This morning when I stepped onto my feedback-device (we once called a scale), I’d gained which is likely just water weight, but still. (Being 56, water weight might actually be weight-weight).

Here’s the thing that annoyed me the most: the pizza wasn’t worth it.

Not at all.

Does this happen to you too?

Have you noticed that junk food looks omg delish until you actually eat it only to find out it’s bland, greasy or too-melt-in-your-mouth-and-disappear-ish?

How I take control.

First, a caveat: if you’re using and loving the intermittent fasting plan – limiting all eating to a specific window during the day – feel free to ignore this week’s post. (Or, better still, leave a comment telling us what you love about intermittent fasting.)

When my eating habits go teenage, here’s what I do.

I eat like a king for breakfast, a princess for lunch, and a pauper for dinner. (This plan isn’t mine. A weight loss author wrote about it in 1954, but the idea first appeared in a book in 1584!

Breakfast like a King.

When I’m breakfasting like a king I might have scrambled eggs with cheese and I’m not adverse to a waffle or three on the weekends.

Lunch like a Princess.

At noon I’ll have a healthy Kale Salad (salad kit in Costco’s walk-in freezer) with baby carrots, cooked broccoli, cucumber, and brown rice (I add the rice). I drizzle a very small amount of the Kale Salad’s dressing over the whole thing.

Around 2:00 I’ll have my second “lunch” which is relatively small. In the winter I might have a veggie burger on toast, a small burrito, peanut butter on toast, or onion soup (Trader Joe’s freezer).

In hot months, I’ll have watermelon or strawberries, avocado on toast, cold cucumber soup, a Popsicle, a small pre-made burrito so that it’s cold and you get the idea.

Around 4:00 I’ll have another very light “meal” similar to my 2:00 “snack.”

Eat Dinner like a Pauper.

I have something small for dinner and if I’m in the mood for an adult drink, I reach for champagne (lowest calories per serving).

When I Stop.

I stop eating by 6:00 p.m. thereby combining intermittent fasting with the “king, princess, pauper plan.”

I hope you’ll share what structured eating plan puts you on the best path for certain success. 🙂

No, it’s not just your imagination. Health is hard!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

For years when I saw a commercial of a rugged Jeep Wrangler climbing a mountain road I’d practically start drooling. I need a rugged Jeep to climb a mountain road too! I’d think.

Then I met a Wrangler owner of a brand new gorgeous fire engine red Jeep.

Yeah. He paid $60,000 big ones for his beauty. A thousand a month (before insurance).

Thunk. (Over I fell.)

All I can say is: Thank you Mr. Jeep-Man. Because today when a Jeep drives by I swallow hard at the mere thought of sixty thousand dollars.

And that is how you reframe.

Reframing shortbread cookies

Now — since we’re not eating Jeeps — let’s talk smart eating reframes:

This morning The Scarfer stopped at a local bakery and bought a gazillion adorable shortbread cookies with raspberry filling. I took one look at the pile of beautiful cookies, and thought, hmm I can eat two or (likely a lot) more of these or I can fit into my bathing suit for a beach-trip in two weeks. My choice.

See the reframe? When I saw the cookies, I was all, “YES!!”  But I reframed to: these so-called “treats” are swimming in butter, sugar, carbs, salt and calories. I also know that one bad decision leads to many more poor eating choices.

Plus I’d much rather fit into my bathing suit.

Was eating one of the cookies worth starting a slow slide into funky-eating-ville? Not at all. I chose my good habits over The Scarfer’s cookie buffet.

How Did I Build This Muscle?

I’m a huge believer that the more we say “no” to our temptations, the stronger our “no” muscle becomes.

Try it for a day. The more you decline funky food, the stronger your muscle will be (and p.s. the “no” muscle works on keeping food out of the house in the first place too).

One more food reframe example

One evening my son made homemade brownies. And happily for all — that’s sarcasm –, there happened to be vanilla ice cream in the freezer.

My two sons and The Scarfer created beautiful bowls of layered brownie and ice cream, and settled on the couch for a movie. Did I want to join them?

Of course!!

Just the four of us, brownies and Netflix? That’s how families bond, right?! (Our intelligent brains will think up any kind of nonsense to trick us into eating massive calories.)

Here’s how I reframed those brownies:

I tell myself that it’s a passion of mine — and it is — to give my family a trim, healthy, happy mom who isn’t constantly complaining that her clothes don’t fit.

I always want the focus to be on my family – not on jeans that I can barely breathe in.

More Reframes

A few years back, I made a deal with myself: if I wanted a particular treat, I had to first look up the nutrition content. I’ve made a solid habit of using this reframe on the regular:

Today I always scan the calorie, fat, carb, and fiber count on a package before I toss it into the grocery cart. I also look at the serving size (often when a treat appears to be for one, it’s really intended for ten).

• At this point in the game,
• I cannot eat ice cream without thinking that a mere half-cup of Chunky Monkey is 300 calories with 18 grams of fat. A half-cup!!
• Or that a maple bar is packed with 240 calories and 11 grams of fat.
• And pizza? Holey-moley, google the calorie, fat, carb and sodium gram on your favorite pizza. Or maybe don’t. You’ll never look at pizza the same again.

Make reframing part of your life – and take your body back from the food-porn industry.

Remember it’s not just your imagination. Health is hard.

What is a reframe you rely on?

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I am an Amazon affiliate so if you buy something through a link at this site, I may receive a small commission that won’t impact your price at all.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Have I mentioned that I’m 56? And way past menopause? And that I still love to eat like I’m 15? That said, if we pro-age ladies (I read this somewhere) want to stay at our fighting weight, we need to eagle-eye our daily habits.

Back in the day I’d ricochet from overeating to starving. Back and forth I’d go. I remember thinking, “I don’t do drugs, alcohol or cigs – I’m mostly healthy.”

(Never mind that that my jeans were so tight I couldn’t breath.)

In my mid-30s I’d had it (some call it hitting bottom) and finally leapt off the roller-coaster for good. And so began my long road of learning to live — I prefer the word thrive — in a culture saturated in calories.

Here’s what took me years to figure out.

How I Changed a Really Annoying Food Habit.

In his amazing book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, Charles Duhigg writes about how important habits are to our brain.

Turns out, our brains are so efficient that they love to turn as many of our daily activities into habits so that it can relax. Our brains want everything running on automatic.

Duhigg explains that first we experience a cue, then we engage in the behavior (the routine) and then we get the reward.

Allow me to explain the most annoying habit that I’ve struggled with for years; it goes like this:

Now, let’s say I want to tinker with the above behavior and disrupt it.

The cue: After dinner (still time of day).

I ask myself what does the mass sugary calories really provide? My brain answers that after a long day it feels wonderful to chill while eating absentmindedly. After dinner, I just want to zone with Netflix and a lot of chocolate.

How I disrupt this annoying behavior: I get up from the dinner table and grab a prepared half apple, cut strawberries or banana from the kitchen. After my small fruit dessert, I further disrupt my routine by going upstairs, brushing my teeth and chilling with a good book (a really good book, not an eh book).

Heading upstairs gets me away from The Scarfer’s chocolate stash. And brushing my teeth provides the minty taste that makes food taste funny. Best of all, a great book allows me to kick back. Which is really what I need: time to chill.

Yes, I’ll miss spending evenings with my kids, but as I work to ingrain this habit (a solid 66 days to embed it) and the chocolate urge has passed, I’m more relaxed, and can rejoin my family (or keep reading).

Our Brains’ Preference.

Turns out, our brains don’t differentiate between good and bad habits. You want to walk the dog daily? Or eat more carrots? Our brains’ default is to turn every daily activity into habits. Just use “the cue,” “the behavior” and the “reward” for new habits.

Habits + time and you can keep yourself at any weight you feel best at.

I would love to hear: what new habit will you instill in your life?

♥, Wendy