Pearl One

I had a dear friend from many years back who once told me that she’d had the “sleeve stomach surgery.” Then with sadness she told me that she’d “eaten around” her sleeve eventually causing the sleeve to stop working (i.e. according to Reddit, “you can stretch your pouch and regain most or all of your weight loss”).

Her last words on the subject, “but I was hungry!” how many times I’ve used the exact same excuse!!

Hunger. Eighteen years into preserving my original loss, I’m sold on the idea that engaging with the concept of “hunger” having many words for hunger that we keep in our own minds is key to a forever weight loss.

Over time, I realized that most of us use “hunger” like it’s a “get out of jail free” card. We tell ourselves that the eating plan we’re currently on – in this case, my friend who ate around the sleeve – only “works” if we don’t have to deal with hunger.

And yet this skill is the one I’m most proud of. Learning to chit-chat with your stomach is an actual skill that you can develop over time. Focusing on our stomach’s needs at any given moment is an actual skill that you can develop.

Most of us have learned since we were tiny that overeating junk food was a legit way to self-soothe.

So don’t be hard on yourself. I was five years into preserving my loss before I noticed that I was dealing with hunger in a new, much better way.

Today I can be moderately hungry, but see that the clock says that lunch is in thirty minutes and me and my stomach can wait thirty minutes to eat. But one time, I was at lunch with my parents a year or so after the Covid lockdown and the staff took so much time in letting us even order, I almost ate one of the little honeys that are at coffee shop booths straight. I’m not being dramatic: that time I was truly, seriously hungry.

It took time – so much time — but I started to notice when I was hungry. Was I ravenous (like at the coffee shop)? Was I moderately hungry and could wait thirty or so more minutes? Or was I just a touch hungry and could easily wait an hour. Or even did I not feel hunger and didn’t need to eat at all?

It’s an advanced skill to have a great relationship with hunger. And it’s always bugged me when “they” throw the many weight loss/preservation tips into one magazine article or website post. Some skills – like learning to engage with hunger in different ways – take years to establish. So what to do now? Start by noticing your hunger throughout the day. And notice what your response is to the “I’m hungry” thought. More on hunger in another post. ♥

Pearl Two

Eat Before You Eat. One day, I came across a supermodel’s vlog. She explained to her audience how she eats before “a big shoot.” Since to date, nobody’s invited me a big shoot, I was mainly checking out her fancy Manhattan apartment.

But then the supermodel said something that stopped me cold, “I like to eat before I eat,” and with that one sentence time stood still.

The supermodel didn’t give more details, but I took her comment to mean that “eating before I eat”, is no longer about needing to use sheer willpower to restrain myself from overeating food. “Eating before I eat” means that I have the ultimate say over how much I consume at dinner.

I use the “eat before I eat” strategy at all evening meals whether I’m out with friends, on a trip, or home with the family. I always eat in advance, so when I sit down at the table, I’m never ravenous. I do this on lunch dates too and if I’m driving to an event, I snack on something healthy the entire way we’re in the car.

The food I reach for when I’m trying to purposely “ruin my meal” (as my dad would put it) is a half-cup of cottage cheese with grapes, a handful of cherries, a full sliced apple or banana, a small bowl of cereal, one slice of whole wheat bread topped in hummus or peanut butter. That kind of thing. Small, not big. Just eat enough to curb your hunger and you’ll actually enjoy your meal because you’re not racing to food into your stomach. And last, if I’m driving to an event, I snack on something healthy the entire way we’re in the car.

After years of “eating before I eat”, family members seeing me eat still ask, “Why are you eating?! We’re having dinner in twenty minutes!” I want to say, “Hello? I’ve been using this tool for a billion years now, haven’t you noticed?” But to avoid causing a ripple, I shrug and say, “I have to eat something, or I overdo it at dinner.” Then if they’re still making a face at me, I just return to eating my yogurt cup.

Using “eat before you eat” tool is a massive game-changer because it puts us in the control-seat. No longer is the gorgeous plate of lasagna and crunchy garlic bread in charge. Sorry beautiful food! Your spell over me is — poof! — gone! “Eat before you eat” and your brilliant prefrontal brain is back at the helm. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to thoughtfully responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (be very concrete): My profits from my manicure/pedicure business are going down in number vs. going up.
• Automatic Thought: Have my main clients forgot about me?
• Feeling: Hurt and angry because you have two young daughters at home.
• Action: As each client comes in for my services, I point blank ask them why they’re not coming in as often..
• Result:  Not a lot changes and I’m still mad.

Thoughtful Sequence

• Situation (be very concrete): My profits from my manicure/pedicure business are going down in number vs. going up.
• Chosen thought: All of my clients are human beings are human too. Ranging from illness to new marriage, who knows what they’re dealing with.
• Feeling becomes: empathy and understanding.
• Action: I begin to get serious about promoting my business. I start by putting a note on my manicure-desk, letting current clients know that I’ll treat their friends with the best service.
• Result:  It takes time, but eventually the numbers go back to where they once were.

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be ha yowe

I’m just a few chapters into James by Percival L. Everett figuring 4.5 stars from 65,10 Amazon readers likely know what they’re talking about. Turns out they did.

James is the man we all know from Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Fin.

This time Jim gets to speak. Supposed to be great; If you’ve already read it, let us know what you thought about it! ♥

Pearl Five

“Instead of looking at the past, I put myself ahead 20 years and try to look at what I need to do now in order to get there then.” —Diana Ross ♥

my goodbye

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Strawberries are in-season! Yes, they’re pricey, but the Smart Eating Path is all about eating in-season.

Pearl One

“I never have coffee before we head out because it makes me poop.”

So said my younger Arizona sister Lucy who made an offhand comment about planning and prepping to hike the Grand Canyon’s (GC) “rim-to-rim.” The term is just what it sounds like: from the top of one side of the canyon hikers descend to the canyon’s floor, trek the ten-miles, cross the raging Colorado River on a suspension bridge (freaked my sister out) and hike up the other canyon-side.

So, when Lucy casually added, “Ben and I start planning and prepping for the rim-to-rim a good six months in advance.” (Ben grew up in Phoenix and has crossed the GC over two dozen times. Regular hikers need a full year’s prep.)

 Ben is local to Tucson and knows his way around the GC we can cut a few months off.

At her words, my ears perked. The parallels between planning and prepping for a monstrous hike and planning for a lifetime-weight loss with a scarfer onboard seemed pretty obvious to me.

Here’s what I learned: My sister and her husband plan as if their lives depend on it because they do: people die in the canyon every year (eleven people out of millions of visitors) and 250 are airlifted out by helicopter.

Am I suggesting that nailing a permanent weight loss is akin to hiking the Grand Canyon rim-to-rim? Yes. In fact, I thing being a female over-thriving with a scarfer is much more ominous.. For many decades the diet-cartel has murmured sweet nothings into our ear assuring us that this time will be different and we will lose weight; that we just needed to use their product and we will be “successful.”

Keep in mind that neither side has decreed what successful actually means. When eating well gets particularly difficult, default into micro planning your days. ♥

Pearl Two

I never get hungry. The idea behind my forever-loss is that I never get starving-hungry. Could there be a more important strategy? I don’t think so. It’s to get in touch with your hunger. Getting overly-hungry is the sure-fire way to careen off the Smart Eating Path. (More on hunger in a future post.)

And I’m not only talking about those times when we’re so hungry we could eat everything in sight, I’m talking about the kind of hunger that presents itself after a meal as in, “gee, a handful of peanut M&Ms sure sounds good right now.”

Would you believe that last night the cavewoman part of my brain suggested this very handful of candy to me? It wasn’t ten or twenty years ago. It was last night.

Just as I started to vacuum up the calories, I realized what was happening — I was merely still hungry — so I had a small bowl of cereal. My M&M craving? Gone.

When I catch myself daydreaming about eating the chocolate peanut butter cups, or stopping at Wendy’s for a frosty, I remind myself that food-daydreams are nothing more than a signal of hunger. Remind yourself often, “I don’t need junk food, I just need food-food.” ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

This sequence is about Kyle Bryant and I wrote these words not Kyle.

• Situation (be very concrete and specific) I was diagnosed at 17 with Friedreich’s ataxia, a rare and progressive neurogenic disease. It causes balance problems and most with FA transition to a wheelchair.
• Thought: My life is over.
• Feeling: Total despair.
• Action: I’m enraged.
• Result: Family is walking on eggshells.

With many, many, many bridges between the first and last sequence.

Responsive Sequence

• Situation (be very concrete and specific) I was diagnosed at age age 17 with Friedreich’s ataxia, a rare and progressive neurogenic disease.
• Chosen thought: I saw an outdoor recumbent trike and thought I could ride that.
• Feeling:  Hopeful and determined.
• Action: I bought my own trike in red so that it would match my truck. I began to join others in making several small group rides around Northern California.
• Result: After many rides to get into shape, I was one of a four-man team to cross the U.S. from San Diego (West Coast) to Annapolis, Maryland (East Coast). We made the 3,000 mile ride in 8 days, 8 hours and 13 minutes.

To read more about Kyle Bryant you’ll find his story here: ♥♥♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

Three of my most favorite books of all time:

Pachinko by Min Jin Lee. Her first book snagged the Pulitzer’s Fiction Runner Up in 2018 and is proof that aliens live among us.

The One Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson – Funny and phenomenal.

House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus. Too hard to describe, but so good. I love learning about other cultures.

All three are awesome. ♥

Pearl Five

“In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.” – Mary Poppins ♥

I might know a little too much about the royal family.

Have a great week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Silly donkey, pink bows are for (furry) kids

Pearl One

He’s cute and pathetic, and has the sweetest pink bow on his tail. We might want to mother him — you know — transform his sad-sack self.

The Eeyore-people. They are everywhere. At first they seem so benign and innocent, what harm could they possibly cause?

And while it might appear that an Eeyore just needs a hug and a mug of hot chocolate, you should know that Eryores are committed to their task of ruining other people’s excitement-project.

That said the Eeyores comes in so many shades of gloom that it’s not always apparent that we’re dealing with one.

Your basic, no-frills Eeyore will forever default to lamenting, “nothing good ever happens. It’s just one thing after another. Must be raining out. Woe is me.”

Other Eeyores are passive-aggressive. This type concludes every barb with, “Come on! I was just joking!” or “I only say (the barb) to be helpful. I’m worried about you. I don’t want you getting your hopes up, only to see them dashed. Again.”

And finally we come to the aggressive-aggressive Eeyore who – upon hearing our new venture — responds with laughter while belittling, ignoring, or sneering at our plans.

While somewhere deep inside we know there’s no convincing an Eeyore, we try anyway when we say, “Really, this time feels different. I’m changing my habits and how I deal with food.” And at that – like clockwork – the Eeyore shakes his head, chuckles a bit and says, “What will make you cheat this year? I don’t get why you waste your energy.”

Do you see why I call an Eeyore “dangerous”? The instant you start doubting yourself, the Eyores dash in to and will work to topple your plans.

After he leaves the room, you work internally to put your heart back together (again), clean the kitchen and head to bed all while thinking, “why can’t he be more supportive?”

Take a good, long look – quietly — at the person you’re engaging with. And journal-write about what you see before you. 

Whether you’re dealing with an Eeyore-friend, family member, co-worker, or partner, they’re dangerous because they can decimate our plans with a look or a non supportive comment.

Never dismiss an Eeyore’s attitude as nothing, or think, he just doesn’t understand. As I lose weight and change my habits, he’ll come along. No, they do not “come along.”

Thing is, Eeyores don’t change. For whatever reason — that’s between them and their therapist — they don’t want us to grow and evolve. They have a certain way of seeing us, and they want the image kept in place.

So, protect your plans. Be a closed book, and get on with transforming your life. Share in the comments below a little about your Eeyore and how you manage them. ♥

Pearl Two

I didn’t think up this great tool, but I’m sure glad that Tim Ferris – podcaster extraordinaire – put words to the feelings of “HELL YEAH!!”

Let me explain.

When we take something away from ourselves – like overeating for comfort – we have to give something in return or we feel a yawning void, an emptiness inside, and head straight for the Doritos. (When people give up alcohol or drugs, the rehab staff strongly encourages participants to find new passions in life as part of the healing process.)

We’ve all tried various activities and – while some were okay — none sparked much passion in us.

But Tim’s “HELL YEAH!!” energy changes the equation.

As an example, one woman I know loves comedy. She’ll take her comediennes on Netflix, but she’s wild about seeing stand-up live. Years ago, she saw Seinfeld just months before his show went on the air and last week she saw Kid Gorgeous — John Mulaney — live in her town. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to thoughtfully responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (very concrete). My baby is 19 months old and is not walking. Twin brother was walking ten months. What’s happening? Now what?
• Automatic Thought: The “slow to walk” thing might be indicative of a disease.
• Feeling: Panicked.
• Action: Frantically called my pediatrician for an appointment.
• Result:  I wind myself up, fearing the worst.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (very concrete). My baby is 19 months old and is not walking. Twin brother was walking ten months. What’s happening? Now what?
• Chosen Thought: I need to stay chillI need to all of the information before I get upset.
• Feeling: Scared, but calm.
• Action:  I make an appointed with our pediatrician. Do online research to see what’s out there to help my guy walk (turns out that they have small wheeled walking frame to make walking easier).
• Result: All went well. The neurologist-pediatrician said that his MRI showed nothing wrong. My boy walked soon after the doctor visits. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy.

I read stories like Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crear Trail by Cheryl Strayed with incomprehension. Her mom died when Strayed was a senior in high school. Her mother’s death and her own marriage fading, at twenty-two Cheryl thinks that hiking the Pacific West Trail (PW) was just the thing. And so Wild is a beautiful account of her life and her trek of 1,100 miles alone.

After Wild, Strayed wrote Tiny Beautiful Things curated from her column called Dear Sugar. I made the mistake of not reading Tiny, Beautiful Things because I assumed that it was like Dear Abby of old. Not at all. Think: fictional character named Claire writes an advice blog called Dear Sugar.

Her newest book is out: Reading the Waves: a Memoir..

Pearl Five

“Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Half effort does not produce half results. It produces no results. Work, continuous work and hard work, is the only way to accomplish results that last.”— Hamilton Holt, American author ♥

I hope you guys are hanging in there! Let me know in the comments below how you’re doing.

And if you enjoyed this post: I’d love it if you’d send it on!!

Have a smart eating week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Pearl One

As therapists-in-training my peers and I were taught that if a client started “yes, butting” us it was a clear sign that we’d careened the client and ourself into the weeds.

An example:

Therapist: “So, you’re saying that he’s part of what you call your weight problem because he brings home donuts. Have you asked him to stop?”

Client: “Yes, but while he’s great for a week or two, he eventually reverts back to what he’s always done. Like last week, he brought home donuts leftover from a meeting, and of course I caved.

Do you see the “yes but?”

The thing is, I think we “yes, but” our own self like in these examples:

• I’ve always wanted to join the new Pilates place. But the cost, the time in traffic, the grocery store.
• I’ve always wanted to host foster kids for the weekend. Once a month, I could see that. But my life is just too crazy right now
• I’d love to shop for a new dress for the summer wedding, but, but, but.

Stronger questions would look like this:

• How do you take care of your interests and needs on a daily basis?
• When you think of getting your needs met, what comes up for you?
• Would you say that you have your own back? What does “having your own back” even look like for you?
• How were you cared for in your younger years? In your young adult years? Middle adult years?

Look for the patters in your life. The stronger we become, the more ourselves

Pearl Two

How does seeing patterns help weight loss over fifty? Here’s the thing, once you identify a pattern, you can then move to disrupt it.

A pattern from my own life, My dad worked in Hawaii every other year and would take us with him. We stayed in a cool hotel that had a kitchen. We’d be there for five weeks. So when we got back home while I loved seeing our pup, I pined to be back in Hawaii.

Today, things have changed. These days I long to get back to Richmond, Virginia. We had four awesome years in VA, but my husband got a job offer and we’ve been in a super-fantastic-but-not-Richmond suburb for ten years. I’m figuring out how to love where I live. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to thoughtfully responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (be super-duper concrete): my husband recently had a stroke and has short term memory loss.
• Immediate thought: this will really ruin our lives.
• Feeling: Fear, sadness and why us?
• Action: Ice cream.
• Result: Gaining not losing weight, that’s for sure.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (be super-duper concrete): my husband recently had a stroke and has short term memory loss.
• Chosen thought: this is new — my parents never had memory loss – I think a book on the topic would be good for me.
• Feeling: Hesitant leaning toward confident.
• Action: I got a book and started reading and found Facebook pages and more websites. I learned a lot. We both have.
• Result: After all this research we’ve learned so much and have a better time in our have a better time being marriage. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

Whether your relationship with your mom was awesome or awful you’ll love reading Lucky Me: My Life With–and Without–My Mom, Shirley Maclaine by Sachi Parker.  The lengths Maclaine went to ditch her daughter’s childhood defies understanding. Those of us who love our children beyond words, can’t fathom being so uninvolved with a child. Five thumbs up. ♥

Pearl Five

No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.” ♥

— Tpny Robbins

My boys’ birthday is getting closer. One of my sons is super frugal. Everything about him is minimize, minimize, minimize. The other son likes the finer things in life. So I don’t know what to give either one! Any ideas greatly appreciated.

I hope your week soars!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Pearl One

A couple months back, I fell down the rabbit hole that is Instagram and was algorithm-fed reels featuring newborns and what their first thirty minutes of life looks like. Some babies will need NICU, others won’t. And as I watched I realized that the twin, triplet and quad moms were propping bottles to feed their babies.

And everything I’d read said that propping a baby with a bottle was a hard no.

But on these reels the triplet and quad moms were actually showing off how they propped each baby with a bottle. The mom stayed in the room with the babies monitoring the entire time and provided a floor-show for the four smiling, but drinking, adorables. I noticed that each baby waited patiently for their bottle because they had pacifiers.

The other thing I noticed watching the reels: if a baby stayed in the hospital for one or two nights, most came out sucking away on a Binky.

Pacifiers! I’d tried to introduce pacifiers a few times with my babies but didn’t think much about it when they kept spitting them out.

We ended up spending a fortune on mother’s helpers and it’s startling to see that all I likely needed was a small piece of plastic.

The next time I have twins, they’re getting pacifiers and will occasionally be propped. There’s far less crying when the little plug is in place.

So what do babies and pacifiers have to do with you and me?

Here’s what I took from my experience, in every situation in which I find myself, I’ll remember to always be on the hunt for the pacifier.

Look through your life and, as you do, ask yourself how can I make this task easier? Am I sweating something that really just needs a pacifier?

Take a look at the “pacifiers” I used to lose wight and preserve the loss for a lifetime.

• I called weight loss/preservation tasks a part-time job, instantly opening swaths of time to focus on all that’s involved with preserving a weight loss.
• Always used ‘eat before I eat.’ Usually, I’ll have an apple, banana or yogurt.
• I always eat a small dinner and take a great book upstairs (my favorite small dinner is brown rice and stir-fry veggies from Costco).

The first two strategies are about keeping hunger at bay (a huge, huge deal). The small dinner/great book strategy is about giving ourselves something (a phenomenal book) when we take something away (dessert). So, that’s my new plan in life: find the pacifiers. They’re there, just keep looking. ♥

Pearl Two

How are you implicit in your food/weight situation? I have a cousin who has spent many years going and then not going to AA. She’d tried their “A meeting a day for the first ninety days.”

Three times.

I finally asked her. “How does the alcohol get into your home in the first place: she readily said, “The alcoholic brings it into the house, that’s how.” My thought was, why bring alcohol into your home? The problem starts back at the grocery store which is true, but of course, it really starts with her thinking that she can remain sober with her favorite alcohol in the house.

Back to us. It’s easier to see in others and much harder to see in ourselves, but when are we bringing home “the alcohol” and trying to live with it in our house? How do we do this to ourselves?

So, here’s our plan: from now forward let’s give the whole idea of being implicit in our problems over to the journal. Write about how you bring home the alcohol. Write about how you fake yourself out. Write about what being totally honest with yourself would be like. Just keep writing, The wisdom is in the writing. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

This sequence is based on a friend’s experience.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation: My neurologist doesn’t return my calls.
• Automatic Thought: What is happening?
• Feeling: Angry. Sometimes furious.
• Action: I keep sending messages.
• Result: I’m not trying the new med that I heard about.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation: My neurologist doesn’t return my calls.
• Chosen Thought: For whatever reason, Dr. such-and-such is gone (in a sense) and here’s what I’ll do now: I have to be my own heath care advocate.
• Feeling: Emboldened, still miffed that this medical process has been so hard, but I feel relief at giving up on this one doctor.
• Action: I get referrals and start reading a lot of websites to find “my” neuro. Result: I find a new neuro.
• Result: I find one that I like who shares my thoughts on my disease and prescribed the med I wanted to try.

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

This is the kind of book I always hope to find for our group. It’s a book of essays by a writer who grew up “poor” and she’s writes about the class line between the working poor and the middle class The essays blend beautifully into the next. Bone of the Bone: Essays on America by a Daughter of the Working Class by Sarah Smarsh is a perfect read for smart, sensitive people like ourselves.

Pearl Five

It is often the small steps, not the giant leaps, that bring about the most lasting change.”

— Queen Elizabeth II

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Is chocolate a trigger food? If yes, steer clear. Also wanting food-porn means you’re hungry for food-food.

Pearl One

Let’s get right into today’s writing journal prompts: What’s the hardest time of day for you to stay on the Smart Eating Path? Be super detailed in your answer.

Avoid being too general in your writing as in: afternoons at work are hard, or evenings ruin everything for me. Get specific: Jim brings donuts to work every Friday and since I have two and had a third later on. I feel like I’ve blown it. I return home to a scarfer who packs the kitchen with food-porn galore. Since I spent the day eating donuts, I figure dinner at the Mexican with a margarita sounds right my alley!

Be super specific and say: Immediately after dinner, I want something sweet, so at 6:45 p.m. I’m hunting for the Oreos. Or, I’m great until 9 p.m., but then I want ice cream while I’m watching Bridgerton.

The more you drill down the, the more successful your intervention.

Journal-writing is how we engage our subconscious. And here’s the thing: our subconscious is super intelligent and wants to share her knowledge. Also, she’s thrilled to be invited to the party (she mainly feels ignored). Journal-write to these questions and watch her in action:

• At what part of the day are you the most exhausted?
• How do you respond to your own exhaustion?
  • What is the hardest time of day for me to veer off my Smart Eating Plan?
• How can I have compassion for myself re: this difficult time of day? (Ex: I forgo a healthy afternoon snack and am hangry by the time I get home. Of course I’m not doing well after work, I’m running on fumes!)
• What would make it easier for me?
• What do I associate with eating (unplanned) food?
• What is the smallest effort I can make to better deal with my hard moments?
• What is the largest efforts? (Be creative with this one.)
• How can I approach my difficult time frame with strength?
• How can i plan for the tough times in my day?
• How do you engage wit your own hunger?
• What happens minutes before you plunge into the kitchen??

Continue journal-writing on a daily(ish) and drill down. Knowledge really is power. ♥

Pearl Two

A Weight Watcher leader said, “What if – as you’re driving to your favorite grocery store — you soar right through two green lights, but then come to a stop at a red?”

Do you roll your eyes thinking, knew it. Other people can go to the grocery store, I guess I don’t have what it takes. And then do you turn around and drive home?

Of course not.

That would be silly.

But — the leader’s point was — we do exactly that when we eat something that swerves from our smart eating plan; we eat the cake or the Snickers or whatever and think, everything’s ruined and we commence to overeat for the next six months. Until many months later when we try again and end up in the same loop.

Year-in and year-out.

Manage Your Expectations

As you lose weight expect road high speed bumps, slow trucks, and red stop lights.

Stop signs happen. We call them “slips.” Prepare for slips by creating a rock-solid back- up plan. (More how to create one here. I’d love to hear about how you deal with it. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

This sequence is about a young friend.

Automatic Sequence

• Automatic Situation: A friend of mine got four tickets to see Taylor Swift on the Eras tour. They had four tickets. but five girls. So, my friend opted out letting the others see the show and she stayed home.
• Thought: Very bummed. Life is sooo unfair.
• Feeling: I’m really sad and disappointed,
• Action: I tear up easily.
• Result: Still sad, I just push the sad thoughts out of my mind as much as I can.

Chosen Sequence

Situation: A friend of mine got four tickets to see Taylor Swift on the Eras tour. They had four tickets. but five girls. So, my friend opted out letting the others see the show and she stayed home.

Chosen thought: I have my own money and I have a wealthy grandma. I could buy the ticket and go to the show easily. but I don’t want to use my money that way and I don’t want to ask my Oma for more money (she already pays for Vegas and Hawaii trips and gives really nice Christmas presents).

Feeling: So much better. It’s comforting to remember that the money is available, I just don’t want the money to go to  a  concert ticket.

Action: I check out how much money I’ve saved and invested.

Result: That year my Oma took us to Las Vega — we’re in Phoenix –and saw Adelle (in a small, intimate theater.) ♥

Pearl Four

i promise you that I go through stacks of books every week trying to find something upbeat, and truly engaging.

Long story, short I don’t have a book for this week.

This is one of my absolute favorite books of all time:

A Woman of No Importance the Untold Story of the American Spy Who Helped Win World War II by Sonia Purnell left me absolutely floored. This book falls into the historical non-fiction genre and the author knocks it out of the park having researched and written the book in such a way that you can almost feel the Gestapo just steps behind Virginia as she flees France. Review: an incredible read and you’ll never forget Virginia. (This book has Nazis, but only in a very peripheral way)

Pearl Five

“Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards.” 

Tony Robfins

I’m not sure why, but just sitting missing my fur baby today. He’s been gone three years and the pain is as bad as ever

Have a great week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

A dear friend doesn’t care what you eat.

Pearl One

Hello Thivers!

I re-tooled a former pearl.

A casual friend who was an eating-buddy of sorts and I went to lunch every two months or so and no, we didn’t and we eat small. We politely chowed.

So when I began my weight loss trek (in earnest), my girlfriend and I were out to lunch one day and I ordered my veggies and brown rice. When our meals arrived mine was for some reason in a very small bowl. It wasn’t a problem for me,

But guess how the small bowl went over? Clearly bugged her.

I didn’t purposely pull away from my friend, but that’s exactly what happened. That’s all to say that I’d handle the interaction 1,000 percent differently today.

If you have somebody in your life that you don’t want to give up, explore the topic in your journal. Challenge yourself to write about why this relationship is so difficult and why this friendship is so precious to you? Add three ways to keep the relationship as you go forward. What does it mean to lose a friend? Do we “grow out” of people? Just keep writing in your journal. (Remember Dora in Nemo.,”Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming.”)

They’ve done studies concluding that habits are contagious no matter whether we’re talking good habits or bad.

Like a terrible virus.

They also say that we can catch habits from our friends’ friends. Makes sense if you think about it. If my good friend, Sarah, has a good friend named Sally and Sally thinks that drinking a bottle of chardonnay on her own every night is just the thing, then Sarah might end up drinking more too and subsequently pass the attitude of over drinking onto you.

Here’s my point: we have to give careful thought to who we allow to stay in our lives. That’s what happened for me. My eating and weight bothered me so much that I didn’t want to be around anyone who could even accidentally create a snag in what I was doing (losing weight permanently).

I didn’t say that it would be easy to walk the Smart Eating Path, only that it’ll be worth every hard moment. ♥

Pearl Two

I think you know that I’m not a huge fan of Starbucks, but there are times when I’m in one for a meeting or something like it.

I look up the menu the evening before I meet someone so that it’s easy to order the next day.  

As per normal Starbucks puts seasonal drinks on the menu. And the spring drink options are — drum roll please — the following:

Iced Cherry Chai, Iced Lavender Cream Oatmilk Matcha, Iced Lavender Latte, and Lavender Crème Frappuccino Blended Beverage.

The one drink that’s reasonable is the Iced Lavender Latte which comes in at:

•     Calories: 135
•     Protein: 4.1g
•     Sugar: 19g
•     Carbohydrates: 20g
•     Fat: 4.7g
•     Carbohydrates: 20g

Let’s remember to vote with our dollars: only order healthy drinks. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Initial Sequence

• Situation: (something very concrete): I get dry mouth. It’s from one of the meds I’m on.
• Automatic thought: Ahhh, dry mouth! I can’t talk.
• Feeling: I feel misunderstood. People around me in public and at home don’t understand how awful dry mouth is. It gets so bad that I can’t form words.
• Action: I reach for anything that’s liquid.
• Result: No growth, no learning, more dry mouth problems.

Chosen Sequence

• Situation: (something very concrete): I get dry mouth. It’s from one of the meds.
• Chosen thought: there has to be a better way to live with my “dry mouth.”
• Feeling: Productive. Like of course I can solve for “x” here.
• Action: I – okay, duh – keep a small water bottle in my purse at all times.
• Result: I learned that I hadn’t taken the “bull by the horns” and solve the problem for myself. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

I’m just halfway through this marvel of a book called My Name Is Lucy Barton: A Novel by Elizabeth Strout. So halfway in give this story five thumbs up.

Pearl Five

Most people have an insufficient reason for action. The pain isn’t painful enough. It’s a nice-to-have, not a must-have. There has not been an (“aha” moment”). ♥

Tim Ferris

I’ve been knee-deep in a Philadelphia article this week. Sounds like a great city to visit especially if you’re a history lover.

Would you believe that there’s now an app where we can reserve our parking spot? I learned this because Philly has so much to offer visitors except parking spaces. lol. Spothero.com

If you’ve enjoyed this post it would be so great if you could pass it on. And thank you.

Have a smart- eating week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Pearl One

Admittedly I can be gullible, yes, it’s true. But I cannot be the only person who thought – back when – that the diet companies legit cared about their customers: you and I. I mean, maybe not “cared about us,” but at least had something valuable to teach. I assumed that if a business sells a product like a diamond ring, we pay money and and go home with a ring.

But here’s the rub with the diet-cartel: we think we’re buying a weight loss that will last a lifetime but they think they’re selling a forty-pound weight loss over and over again.  And the diet-cartel has actually convinced us that if we gain back the forty-pounds it’s our own stupid fault. So millions and millions of us think that we don’t have the right willpower, the ability to say “no” or the rigor for the long-term.

So, you and I board the diet-train to chunky-ville over and over again through the years. Never the wiser.

And nobody ever asks, “. . . but . . . how do I make my weight loss last for the long run?”  In the diet-cartel’s world there’s not a word or a term for a lifetime maintenance (I call “preservation”). They slap their knees in laughter. and when they finally get serious say: “lifetime loss was never the deal.”

My take back then was “these companies are lying to us!! They’ve never had our best interests in mind at all! They’re hoodwinking you and me, and it’s time the insanity stops!”

Then one day reality rained down. 

Ohhhhh.  Of course, the diet-cartel is not here to help us. We’re the diet-cartel’s target market and if we lose weight for “a lifetime” they won’t profit. They’re in business to make money.

Of course, the diet-cartel is not here to “help us.” The diet-cartel is alive and well, and in business to make as much profit as possible and they’re succeeding into the billions. My bottom line is let’s use the diet-cartel’s products as tools like a vacuum cleaner or a snow shovel. They are merely tools. They’re not riding a white steed ready to come to our weight-rescue. We can rescue ourselves, thanks. ♥

Pearl Two

Being uncomfortable is part of change. Say you want to embed the habit of always keeping your cold-tote packed in great bites by your side every day. The first day you forget to grab your already-packed cold-tote entirely. The second day you forget to take it off the roof of the car. Oops. The third day you remember the cold-tote, but forget that you filled it with “blah” food and everybody is having lunch at the Dairy Queen while you chew on a stalk of broccoli (you grabbed it as you flew out the door).

On your drives to work you call yourself “so lame” re: the cold-tote. You conclude with, it’s never going to happen tor me anyhow.

Hello? Self-sabotage much?

So, right at this moment, stop the frame and take a good look at how you’re talking to yourself.

One: your self-talk is cruel and unnecessary (critical self-talk is rarely helpful). Two: your expectations for yourself are off the rails. Remember my favorite study out of England that concluded it takes sixty-six days to embed a new habit? Well, I noticed something interesting as I was embedding a new habit: it was only the first sixteen days that were truly challenging. So expect a lot of false starts.

It takes time and effort to develop a new habit. Chill out on yourself. Talk to yourself with as much kindness and patience as you can muster. Babies learn to walk on their own schedule. Developing a new habit takes perseverance and time. And purchase the Atomic Habits by James Clear if you haven’t yet! ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): The scale tells me that I’ve lost fifteen-pounds.
• Thought: Get out of here!!
• Feeling: Rapture.
• Action: I wear the white jeans I haven’t worn in years.
• Result: They fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): The scale tells me that I’ve lost fifteen-pounds.
• Chosen thought: I’m thrilled, of course, but Wendy coaches that we dial the drama down. This is the moment where I talk to myself and remind me that I’m entering a healthy period of “holding.” And as I hold I keep telling myself that I can accept my new weight, accept compliments with grace, and that people will still love me and want to be friends at my new weight. (I say this to myself over and over again.)
• Feeling: I feel tentative, careful. I know how fast the pounds can return plus I want to lose twenty more. But for now I’m holding and adjusting.
• Action: Per Wendy, I continue working on my habits, just holding my weight, and telling myself that I’m okay as I accept the new weight loss.
• Result: I’m starting to understand the idea that if we lose weight quickly our cavewoman shows up and ruins everything. I continue taking it slow so that my mind can accept the fifteen-pound loss.

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy.

I spent the last week pouring through stacks of books. It’s hard to find what I’m looking for: a book dessert. It can’t be scary (because life already scares me enough), it can;t be chick-lit, have Nazis or be a total downer. So this week I’m leaving it up to you. In the comment section down below: share your favorite book titles. Share your favorite of last year, the favorite one of your whole life or even your favorite author. But please share. ♥

Pearl Five

Sweetheart, you can’t go listening to every little voice that runs through your head. You’ll go nuts.” ♥

Samantha Jones, SATC

I’ve always been near-sighted. Out of nowhere — bamo! — I can’t read the copy in a book. Even the laptop screen is harder to read. So I got a new prescription, took it to Costco and await their call.

Have a smarty eating week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, doctor, surgeon, nurse, dietician, or nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.