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Back when yo-yo-ing was my lifestyle, I would never have called myself “smug.” Most of the time, I was dealing with too little confidence, rather than too much.

But.

To be perfectly transparent, I remember losing ten or fifteen pounds, and turning moderately smug. As if I were too cool for school. As in, I’d never have to deal with weight issues again! (Awesome, right?)

But now – in my opinion – feeling smug is the very precursor to the downhill slide into re-gaining the fifteen + more.

Like all of us trying to lose weight, I was on an elevator that went up and down through the years.

And back then I didn’t know that what I put into my mind and heart was far more important than what I put into my mouth. I didn’t know that being smug would never be a helpful thought or feeling. It would always be the beginning of a downfall.

Thankfully I figured out trashing the smug thought was vital, and now I instead think, I’m always learning. I’m always discovering. I slip and that’s okay. I’ll just meet the new day and go for it again. Over and over and over.

I know that a lot of Thrivers are having amazing success. And don’t get me wrong, I love hearing about the awesome strides everyone’s making, but consider nestling this phrase into your heart forever.

♥ I’m not smug about losing.

♥ I’m not smug about losing.

♥ I’m not smug about losing.

If you’re having what anyone would deem “victory!!,” don’t be lured down the smug-pathway. It might seem like allowing ourselves to feel a tiny bit smug is the pinnacle of “success”, but it’s really the precursor to a downward spiral back into over chowing-land.

I’m not smug about losing. Let’s don’t me smug together. ❄️

Our journal-writing pearl.

  • What outrageous, wonderful, too-amazing-to-be-true-but-it-is successes have you had? Doesn’t need to be food related. It could be when you finished your PhD or adopted your daughter from Korea. Write out three to five wins.
  • When I’ve felt smug in life what were the results?
  • What does a smug person look like to you?”
  • Feeling smug on one hand, but feeling rock-bottom low self esteem on the other hand are siblings. Why do you think they are? ❄️

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

  • Situation (be very concrete):  Shelley, 64, had worked as an emergency room nurse for decades. She retired her sixty-third year after her best friend, Lisa, passed.
  • Initial thought: “They told me to “live a little” while I still could. Well, I retired. Now what? I’m essentially bored and lonely.”
  • Feeling: Sadness because she deeply wishes that she could return to her life of five years ago and make an entirely different decision.
  • Action: Tends to stay home and babysit her grand kids. When Shelley’s daughter-in-law asks she just says yes and it turns into an always thing to pick the kids up from school and drive them home. She does some laundry and starts to make dinner for her son’s family.
  • Situation (be very concrete):  Shelley, 64, had worked as an emergency room nurse for decades. She retired her sixty-third year after her best friend, Lisa, passed.
  • Chosen thought: “I’m new to being retired and like anything new I need to find my land legs. While I accustom myself to this new lifestyle, I’ll make rules for myself like “get out of the house at least once a day.” I can do this, it just takes time.
  • Feeling: a little on edge, but excited. She can feel good things coming her way.
  • Action: she meets with a group from church every month. and she loves meeting up with them for dinner and margs.
  • Result: The group really bonds and start getting together even more often. In the spring they plan a group trip to see New York City. ❄️

The River Is Waiting by Wally Lamb is a quiet, devastating novel about grief, guilt, and what it means to keep living after irreversible loss. It’s deeply humane, emotionally heavy, and written with Lamb’s trademark compassion
Trigger warning: This book may be especially difficult for anyone who has lost a child
I highly recommend this book on audio. The reader did a fantastic job. Total book-dessert! ❄️

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ❄️

Albert Einstein

If this post spoke to you, please share. I need to get my readers up. And thank you.

Here in Atlanta more crazy ice storms, more sparkly trees.

Hope you’re staying warm and cozy.

Back in the day food was my entertainment. In my book, there was nothing worse than being bored. Food was the answer to any kind of boredom. Life gives everyone highs and lows, but in between it all, boredom is the featured guest. It’s boring to get my car tags every year. It’s boring to work out on a constant basis (at least for me). But the most boring of all is getting my teeth cleaned twice a year.

Turns out, feeling bored was never meant to signal us to absentmindedly eat handfuls of M&M’s out of large bag while staring at our phones (sounds fun, though, doesn’t it?).

I recently heard one prominent woman say essentially that life isn’t meant to be one firework show after another. It was good to hear from her because her life has had many spectacular moments so if she gets bored, everyone gets bored. It’s a human thing and it’s also a human thing to find solutions to the annoyance of boredom. Some thoughts on this often unaddressed subject.

For starters, I learned to accept — not like, accept — that getting bored is a huge part of everyday human life. Now, before I eat, I always ask myself, “Am I really hungry?” If the answer is no, I find something else to do.

Of course, I prep myself for potential boredom eating saying “I don’t eat like that anymore, I don’t eat out of boredom, let’s crack a book.” In the beginning I said these thoughts to myself all the time.

Feeling bored challenges us to sit and daydream, write and even doodle in our journal and cuddle our fur-kids while we stare off into space.

Boredom isn’t the enemy. When we’re bored for a bit, our brains start wandering, new ideas pop up, and we even think about what matters most to us in life. It’s like giving our mind a mini vacation.

The power of boredom has been studied and all conclude that short-term boredom is good for us, that allowing our minds to free float is beneficial. It’s the chronic boredom that can lead to depression, overeating and risky behavior. Boredom isn’t wasted time, it’s our brain’s way of hitting “refresh.” Embrace boredom and let your mind wander, and watch creativity and insight flow through your pen onto your journal. ❄️

  • What kind of relationship have you had with boredom?
  • Do you think that food and boredom can go together?
  • What do you think about getting bored for ten minutes a day working up to more as you go (meaning no screens, not even a book, only your journal and a furry someone).
  • If you think about boredom as being a friend instead of an annoyance, how could this perspective change the way you spend down time?
  • Reflect on the thoughts about yourself or your life that tend to surface when you’re bored. What patterns or appear when your mind is quiet?
  • Would you say that boredom is more short-term or chronic for you? ❄️

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

  • Situation (be very concrete): Maisy is 72.  Her parents both passed in their mid-80s.  Maisy has five cats. Her daughter lives in Europe.
  • Thought: “If I die, what will happen to my babies? I don’t know a soul here who’d take them.”
  • Feeling: Maisy feels overcome with grief and is very upset on a daily basis.
  • Action: She does a lot of worrying and hand wringing.
  • Result: She continues to not have a plan for her kitties.
  • Situation (be very concrete): Maisy is 72.  Her parents both passed in their mid-80s.  Maisy has five cats. Her daughter lives in Europe.
  • Chosen thought: “I’m trying something new. I’m researching and staying open to new ideas. Two of my cats are elderly and will likely cross the rainbow bridge before I do. But three are young. I need to stay chill. That’s my aim: to be chill, I can do this.”
  • Feeling: She pointedly tells herself that she needs to pump herself up every day. She also tells herself that this part of life isn’t fun for anyone and might take many months of research before she picks the right path.
  • Action: She talks the situation over with her vet and asks what others do. She writes on her Facebook page asking for feedback on what she should do. She’s gathering ideas and possible solutions. She even asks for suggestions from a neighbor.
  • Result: Maisy makes a decision to visit her lawyer and puts her five cats into her will adding ample money so they’ll be fed and cared for. After talking with the local kitty rescue, she met one woman in her forties who heard her story and said, “I’m your back-up, I’ve got you.” Maisy now has a new friend who visits for food and talk about once a month. Plus her new friend gets to know the kitties. ❄️

I tried, but while I dipped into several books that looked promising, all fell short for one reason or another. So the books that I’m bringing you today are two of my favorites.

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles. I love novels that aren’t just an absorbing read, but also have a current or two streaming under the actual story. I turn the last page of an Amor Towles’ novel a better person or parent or friend; and definitely a more knowledgeable student of history. His other fun book (not quite as awesome as Moscow, but it holds its own: Rules of Civility. ❄️

First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not.” ❄️

Octavia Butler

We were on the outskirts of the ice storm in Atlanta and thankfully didn’t get much snow or ice, but the trees all look lined in diamonds. Nature’s Christmas ornament! Really pretty.

I hope you have a really boring week! lol.

My mom once said to me, “eating out when we’re traveling is so hard” and in response I said, “you know, it doesn’t have to be.” Here’s how I roll when dining away from home.

I look at restaurants as I do grocery stores: friends, we’re going behind enemy lines every time we eat in a restaurant, so it’s critical that we play a strong defense to coax our dreams — a lifetime weight loss — to come alive. Join me in not heading into a restaurant without considering the following:

Look an hour into your future and ask yourself how you’d like to feel when you exit the restaurant? Do you want to be mildly full? Not at all stuffed? Pleasantly looking forward to your next smart bites? I say, “yes, yes and yes!”

In advance of arriving at the venue I already know which restaurant-method I’m using from the below list.

Method 1: Days before a restaurant date, I pull up the restaurant’s online menu. While scrutinizing the menu’s sections closely, I hope to find a sides section. Then I cross my fingers that the sides include brown rice and veggies. When I find a good side orders section, I order two veggie sides and one brown rice side. The servers tend to bring out three separate plates of food so at that moment I ask them to bring me a large bowl and I mix it all together and add just of pinch of salt to make the veggie flavors sing. (I was once served veggies that looked black and icky. I was too involved with the conversation I was having with a friend to bother sending them back. Don’t be me: send unappetizing food back). Because brown rice and veggies with a pinch of salt is tasty times a million.

These days the wait staff and cooks are accustomed to special requests. If you’re nervous about seeming “pushy,” start small by asking for one food item at a time to be changed, and once you have your land legs, as Prince instructed us, “go crazy!”

Method 2: Let’s say that I’m traveling and eating at various and sundry restaurants and bakeries. If I’m not doing brown rice and veggies, I peruse the salad section and usually choose a Greek salad. I don’t add dressing to the Greek salad because the feta cheese does the job. If I’m getting a salad at a Mexican restaurant, I usually ask that everything in the salad be brought on the side making it easy for me to cut the sprinkled cheese in half, chuck the sour cream, and hem and haw about what to do with the guacamole (as long as it’s not made with mayo or sour cream it’s a healthy choice). I always ask before I eat.

Method 3: This method is only for the really determined to lose weight or keep it off. I order a certain burrito at my favorite Mexican. No way is this dish for one person. It’s huge! When the server brings our food, I cut this bad boy in half and place the second half into the Tupperware container I keep in my purse (when not in use, it folds flat like these).

Method 4: Again, this one is for the truly advanced among us. When I was on the cruise with my friend, we went to the ship’s Mexican restaurant and she ordered a meal and I ordered exactly what I wanted: the Tres Leches dessert. So rather than eating a full dinner and not having room for dessert, I only ate dessert. And – as you likely know – that Tres Leches was gooood. Keep in mind that I gained six ounces on that cruise. My smart eating tools work.

Method 5: If I know in advance that I’m staring down a particularly tough restaurant experience, I have more than just a healthy snack before leaving for the restaurant. My goal is to not only curb my appetite but to pretty much eliminate it entirely. Tough times call for tough measures.

This is a good time to tell you that I don’t allow myself to get smug about my low weight or my smart eating restaurant habits. If there’s something to celebrate. I let myself do a happy-dance for maybe eight seconds. After those seconds are up, it’s back to my smart eating life where I quite humbly helicopter my food choices meal in and meal out.

It can’t be said enough: being smug is the beginning of a slippery slope back into “funky-eating-ville” and since that was not happening on my watch, I remind myself often that being smug leads to a fall.

If you’re still feeling wobbly about eating out, be patient with yourself. This is another skill to learn, not a test. With practice, you’ll find your way: one menu, one meal, one confident choice at a time. ❄️

  • How do I feel when I see other people eat foods I’m “avoiding”?
  • How can I prepare mentally before dining out to make choices that feel satisfying and safe?
  • Which restaurants or dishes have I found easiest to navigate while maintaining my goals, and why?
  • Recall a recent time you ate out — what went well, and what would you do differently next time?
  • How do I want to remember my relationship with dining out in 5 years: empowering or regretful?

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

  • Situation: Deborah, 64, has been widowed for ten years. She loves living on her own. Now the sweetest man from her book club asked her out on a date.
  • Initial thought: “For crying out loud, oh boy. I love living alone and I can’t fathom going into the relationship thing again.”
  • Feeling: Semi-annoyed at being caught unaware that this kind of suggestion might come at her.
  • Action: She tells this man that her life is too full and maybe in the future they can go forward.
  • Result: They see each other at the book club meeting and let that be enough.
  • Situation: Deborah, 64, has been widowed for ten years. She loves living on her own. Now the sweetest man from her book club asked her out on a date.
  • Chosen thought: “Take a deep breath. Maybe this could be fun with a man I already know (albeit casually). This is how adults find a new partner by being at the Neighborhood Watch meeting, realizing that you’re seeing the same man grabbing coffee same time, same place as you, or meeting at a book club.”
  • Feeling: Tentative, curious and determined to maintain her current lifestyle.
  • Action: Deborah agrees to a casual dinner out. She’s dedicated to making sure getting to know each other moves slowly.
  • Result: Debora maintains her strong boundaries and the two see each other at the book club and spend the weekends together. ❄️

I found two great things: one, a book that you might love digging into and two, a prolific author. A Place to Hide by Ronald H. Balson is the author’s newest book that falls into the historical fiction genre and was chosen as the National Jewish Book Award winner when it came out in 2025. I love reading about World War II from the many different perspectives. This read is about a US diplomat in Amsterdam who uses his position to save Jewish refugees from the Nazis in 1938. Excellent book-dessert. ❄️

The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking. ❄️

-Albert Einstein

I only need a handful of new readers to get to 1,000. Yes, I’m sending out an SOS, I need help. I get why celebs have enormous followings, but for regular people I can’t figure out how they get to 21K or 50K. It’s mind blowing to me.

Make it a week to remember!

We don’t have to “fatten up” for winter anymore!

Okay, somebody has to keep saying it. I guess it’ll be me. You may want to sit down, but hear me out.

All of us need to stop framing food and weight issues as “it’s up to the individual,” when in reality much more is at play than “she just didn’t have the willpower.” Our greatest of great grandparents were survivors of a very harsh environment. They survived using their smarts and cunning. Others died off, but ours flourished. Ours went from hunting/gathering to farm life, to finally our Twinkie-generation where we practically mainline Big Macs and supersized fries. In other words, you come by issues with food and weight honestly. A billion years ago, it was that kind of intelligence that kept our great grandmas alive through the winter.

When you feel like you’re constantly fighting food and weight, train yourself to remember whose DNA lives inside of you.

Imagine having all that kick-ass DNA and still live within our food-gone-wild culture. We can hunt and gather at Dunkin’ Donuts all day long, no problem. And because our DNA tells us to eat as much of the high-calorie pizzasuras as possible, we comply. Because our DNA is rigged to get us chowing all summer and fall so that we’ll successfully survive the winter.

Problem is, that same strong DNA also figured out pretty quickly how to make the best junk food, the best fast-food, and even incredible food-food the planet had ever seen. And don’t forget that we eat the fabulous food in immense portion sizes. Our DNA tells us to fatten up now and we’ll survive the winter.

What can you do with this information.? Cut yourself some slack. When you eat too much at the Mexican restaurant, or at Christmas or over the summer, you’re merely being guided by your DNA.

My suggestion for engaging well with our DNA and not allowing it to run the show: keep our body fed. If you’re imagining how good a bowl of ice cream would be, you’re still hungry for real food. Don’t get ice cream, get the apple with a smear of peanut butter. Always take your cold-tote with you packed in smart bites. And never sit down for dinner, run errands, or shop without “eating before you do anything else.”

Does it sound like a lot of planning? When it comes to DNA and food I’m firmly in Team Yes! ❄️

Our journal-writing pearl!

  • When i think about my weight, whose voice (or group of voices) do i actually hear in my head?
  • How has society’s focus on thinness or dieting influenced my self-esteem or behavior?
  • If your eight-year-old could talk what would she tell you about weight and food?
  • What would you tell her?
  • If you give a name to your deepest wound around food and weight, what would that be?
  • Now write how you might heal from the food and weight wound. ❄️

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

  • Situation: Mandy who is 66 has a 16-year-old granddaughter who drove her car into Mandy’s garage, but hooked the side of the car onto the wooden railing that takes you into the house. The entire railing fell off.
  • Initial thought: “When I heard the noise in the garage my heart sank. Just what I need: another house bill.”
  • Feeling: Some annoyance because her granddaughter bristles every time she tried to share her driving-wisdom.
  • Action: She plasters on a smile and told her granddaughter “no problem we’ll get it fixed.”
  • Results: Later Mandy talks to two friends about her granddaughter’s driving problem.

I’ve only just cracked this book open, but I was excited to see that the book has over 300,000 4.5 reviews and it just came out in January 2025. None of this isTrue by an author who has a immense fan base. Apparently this book is one of Lisa Jewell’s best jewel. Also, I love how I was immediately drawn into story from the first page. Tasty book-dessert.

The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”❄️

Jalaluddin Rumi

If you like this post, I’d love if you’d share it with others.

Have a peaceful week!

A sweet reader – “M” wrote to ask me whether the whole wheat pumpkin muffins that I love would work as a pumpkin loaf.

I thought, sure, why not? I’m a fan of the muffins because they come in their own serving-size.

But whether you’re team-muffin or team-loaf, I have the recipe here. I eat these as mini-meals throughout the cold months. Yum, right?

Also, this recipe is a go-to for Eating Before You Eat. Maybe a muffin and an apple would be perfect.

Set the oven for 375 degrees.

Mix together dry items:

  • 1 cup flour
  • ¾ cup whole wheat flour
  • 3 tablespoons sugar (only 3 tablespoons!!)
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • ¼ teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt (an eighth!!)

Mix Wet:

  • First, melt 2 tablespoons butter (just 2!).
  • 1 whole egg (add two eggs for more protein).
  • ¾ skim milk (but almond milk works just as well).

Now the fun part:

  • If you want pumpkin pie muffins: add ¾ can of pumpkin puree to the wet mix and one teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice to the dry mix.)
  • Want apple pie muffins? Add a peeled and diced Granny Smith apple and a mashed ripe banana to the wet mix along with one teaspoon of cinnamon to the dry mix.
  • Love banana bread? Mash three to four super ripe bananas and along with a teaspoon of vanilla add to the wet.

Bake muffins for 18 to 20 minutes. ♥

I tend to get on the poor high school teachers. Why? Because I’m always thinking “instead of teaching blank-blank they should be teaching life skills like navigating finances and eating within our food-on-steroids culture.” Poor high school teachers: they don’t dictate the curriculum. They’re the real heroes, trying to teach kids amid a smart phone world. Today’s topic is about what I’ve long thought our world needs.

The Importance of Plan 2.0

Forever we’ve wondered how can we stop ourself from slipping (what we once called cheating)?

In other words, what’s our personal plan after a “big” slip?

Everybody slips off the Smart Eating Path because we’re human and our world is layered in food-porn.

A much better question to ask yourself is after I’ve slipped, how do I get back on the Smart Eating Path?

Nobody taught you and me how to plan for our next slip and what — specifically — do we plan to do.

That said, create a strong and reliable 2.0 plan for yourself and tape it inside a kitchen cupboard. And please, don’t just keep your individual Plan B in your mind. Actually write out your entire back-up plan.

Having a written Plan 2.0 where we can see it everyday is a key to forever weight loss and posting the plan somewhere we’ll see it is the secret tip.

One

Before I slip, I ask myself: Do I want the The Scarfer’s chocolate stash I found or do I want to be a size 8? That usually brings me back to the party.

Two

Let’s say I eat the junky food. My Plan 2.0 reminds “take two inspirational podcast episodes and call me in the morning.”

And this is exactly what I do. I have a list of music, Netflix shows, and podcasts that put me into a different frame of mind. Also, if I’m trying to curb overeating at night I grab a good book and head upstairs to brush my teeth, get into my pajamas and read a fabulous book in bed. I remind myself that I’ll feel much better in the morning.

And I always do.

Bottom line, I have a real Plan B that works wonders in helping me to contain the damage. I have a safety net of sorts. I stop the free fall of poor eating habits.

I don’t tend to slip in the daytime, but if I do slip it’s usually because I’m bored. My Plan 2.0 outlines what to do when life gets old. Don’t underestimate how being bored or tired can send you straight to the Oreo’s. Create a Plan 2.0. Keep it front-and-center where you’ll see it every single day.

Notice what I don’t do when I slip? I don’t beat myself up, call myself names and spin into the hopeless/helpless zone. Not only do I contain the caloric-damage, but I contain the emotional-damage too.

The morning after overeating I get right back onto my my Smart Eating Path — keeping in mind that slips are just part of life — and am extra gentle with myself the entire day. After slipping, I’ve bought flowers for my desk, once had a pedi, and another time let myself get cozy on the couch with a book during “work hours.”

You’ve Got This

Now for the fun part.

Take creating your own Plan 2.0 seriously. Journal-write about it and admit to yourself how — and in what quantity — slips happen in your life. (Good place to say: If specific foods are a problem, ban them from the house for the next year or ten.)

Plan exactly how you’ll recover and only include plans that you can actually envision yourself doing.

We’ve had it backwards the whole time. We thought slipping meant we should yell at ourselves when really, it’s the most important moment that we have our own backs.

For your journal.

  • Describe a challenge you faced recently. What lessons came out of it?
  • What’s three of your proudest moments in life?
  • Have you ever created a plan to address the “fed up feelings” that come after a lot of overeating?
  • In the past we resorted to beating ourself up, can you devise a plan that helps, rather than hurts you?
  • Take your time to write a detailed written plan – based on what you most love in life — that will help you jump out of the Doritos bag and back to eating with intention. In your plan include when you’ll immerse yourself in your favorite music, when you’ll take a great book to bed, or using the Drip, Drip, Drip method of getting back to smart eating (my favorite).

We’ve all slipped, but we can build a plan to get us out of the doldrums and back onto our Smart Eating Path. The plan is everything.

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

Initial Sequence

  • Situation (be super concrete): After decades of trying to lose weight, Colleen, 66, stands in the grocery aisle staring at the many types of cereal.
  • Initial thought: “Here we go again. I question myself all the time: which food should I get? Am I using the Mediterranean, high protein or no-gluten?
  • Feeling: She’s annoyed at the entire vibe of the weight loss culture. She’s been trying to lose weight for years. Mostly she’s mad at herself.
  • Action: She bought her favorite chips and dip, and “will start over on Monday.”
  • Result: She overeats all weekend and starts a new (to her) diet on Monday.

Chosen Sequence

  • Situation (be super concrete): After decades of trying to lose weight, Colleen, 56, stands in the grocery aisle staring at many types of cereal.
  • Chosen thought: “How I work with my brain leads directly to the food I choose and eat.”
  • Feeling: Excited and proud that she’s taking care of herself.
  • Action: Colleen now eats before shopping to eliminate impulse buys. If she’s hungry while shopping she keeps a Cliff Bar in her purse and isn’t shy to eat while shopping and, of course, only shops with a list with her favorite smart foods items on the list. She never buys food that could trigger her info an overeating episode.
  • Result: Colleen gets into the groove that smart eating begins with smart grocery shopping. ♥

I have an amazing book-dessert to share with you today! The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah is literary fiction gold. It now sits on my favorites list: Pachinko, the Daughters of Shandong and the Good Earth. Now we also have the Four Winds. I have more books on my “very favorites” list, but these spring immediately to mine.

The Four Winds is a deeply moving story about a woman trying to keep her family together during the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression: a reminder of what people endure, and the strength it takes just to keep going. Yes, it sounds like Grapes of Wrath — another outstanding book-dessert. You have great reading in your future – have fun!!

“Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.” ♥

Wayne Dyer

We’ve living a roller coaster ride of weather here in Atlanta. It’s seriously cold, then surprisingly warm and then back to super cold.

Have a smart eating week!

A former post tidied up:

Years ago, I was driving with my parents and my two boys in our van and I guess I wasn’t driving fast enough because one driver peeled out from behind me and went screaming down the road.

At that, my five-year-old son scrunched up his little face in anger and said, “There goes a. . .

“This’ll be interesting,” I thought.

“PUNK!!”

There goes a punk. Not exactly a curse word, but we got his meaning. (The Scarfer uses the word “punk” occasionally so that’s where my son first heard the word.)

Kids absorb everything.

Like little kids, our brains are listening and watching everything we do.

  • If you weigh your protein every single time before you cook it, she’s watching and thinks, “Oh, okay we’re the kind of person who measures everything.”
  • If we stop eating at 6 p.m. each evening, she’s like “Got it. We don’t eat after a small dinner.”
  • If we have too much food leftover, she learned long ago to think, “Our stomachs are not trash cans.”
  • If you take a bite of cookie that’s just not worth the calories and spit the bite into a napkin she’ll think, “Wow, we are serious about losing weight. We even spit out food.”

As you trek the lose-weight-after-fifty mountain, plan to prove to your brain at every eating-moment that you mean business about smart eating.

How do you prove something to your brain?

Through repetition.

Your brain just needs to see proof that something really matters to you, so give her as much proof as you possibly can. ❄️

  • What sentences do you repeat to yourself most often, and who first taught you to believe them?
  • When you make a mistake, what does your inner voice sound like, and what is your brain learning from that tone?
  • Which belief in your life feels true simply because it has been repeated for years?
  • If your brain is always listening, what do you want it learning from you now? ❄️

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

  • Situation (be as concrete as possible): Margaret, 65, has been divorced for two years. She was invited to her best friend’s big New Year’s Eve party.
  • Initial thought: “I’m always up for dancing and I love the party atmosphere, and even though these parties are huge, Sheila will get her feelings hurt if I don’t attend.”
  • Feeling: Guilty, trapped, heavy heart.
  • Action: I pick a nice outfit for the party.
  • Result: I go to the party and frankly am overwhelmed, but I keep my smile plastered on my face.
  • Situation: Margaret, 65, has been divorced for two years. She was invited to her best friend’s big New Year’s Eve party.
  • Chosen thought: “I was invited to Shelia’s big shindig for New Year’s Eve, but I’m craving a night alone, sipping a glass of wine, watching the city fireworks from my balcony, cat in lap and think about the upcoming year. I need to speak up for myself and explain to Sheila why I won’t be at her party.”
  • Feeling: Scared to tell her friend, but also brave. Margaret has been practicing being more assertive.
  • Action: Margaret shops for her favorite food and even buys a new pair of pajamas for her “night in.”
  • Result: Margaret wakes up on New Year’s Day feeling good and ready for a yoga class. ❄️

My three most favorite books of 2025 (all three are phenomenal):

All three are six thumbs up book-desserts! ❄️

You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.” ❄️

Zig Ziglar

I think most of us are at the stage of life that being in our jammies by 9 p.m. is how we roll. I laughed when I read about a woman who said that she didn’t care who knew that she got into her jammies often at 6 p.m. I have to admit that it sounds inviting.

But if you’re one to celebrate New Year’s Eve: go for the brut champagne (lowest calories) around.

If you like this post, I’d love if you’d share it with others. And thank you.

Share how you’re sharing New Year’s Eve and Day: will it be “glam” or “cozy?”

Have a smart eating week!

Nurse a low cal drink on difficult occasions. Drinks just for us here.

Welcome to our new peeps! The red carpet is rolled out for you. So happy you’re here. As Tim Ferriss said, “people don’t want more information about their problems. They want solutions to their problems.”

Below in pink you’ll find five super important posts. The regular Monday post I send will make a lot more sense after you read these pink titles. And if you haven’t received your Aunt Bea copy just write in the comments below and I’ll shoot it right over.

Let’s talk Christmas eating! Isn’t eating so much Christmas fudge and drinking mugs of spiked egg nog what the season is all about? I mean, if we’re not overeating and over drinking can we still call it a holiday? Yes and no. If you take a taste or two of everything on the Big Day, and you’re good to go: okay, but if like me one taste triggers you into a free-for-all, you need a solid game plan.

Believe me, I’m 100% with you that keeping our smart habits in December is challenging, and often feels downright unfair. But in response to the difficulty, I’ve trained myself to think, over and over, “it’s just one day. I can make this work for one day” (and one evening if you count New Year’s Eve).

I think about my grandma being a little girl — 1912 to 1920 — when special food only appeared in her life at Christmastime. Not being of the Rockefeller-persuasion, the special food was too pricey for her to eat on the regular. But in today’s world you and I can whip up a cheesecake with ease or find one already made five miles away at the Cheesecake Factory.

In my experience, having a strong game plan is the only way to roll through the many calories coming soon to a theater near you.

So, in building a smart game plan I take a look at what will likely be difficult meals in the days to come and I plan for every obstacle. I never allow myself to stroll into an eating experience without my trusty plan (in my head or hand bag) and here’s why: in the modern age alluring food is everywhere and I know that I will succumb if I don’t create a game plan and stick to it like glue.

I write a game plan that includes taking my cold-tote packed with smart bites with me everywhere (these bites need to be your favorites, this is no time to skimp). For new readers, smart small bites are like broccoli, a hard-boiled egg, red grapes, sliced apple and yogurt cups but, again, you must have what you most love. I also include Eat Before You Eat. (Remember your goal is to ruin your meal!) Sounds harsh but I’m being super honest: if I show up Hungry, I will plow into the mashed potatoes, candied yams, gravy and rolls with a vengeance.

In addition, I journal-write from future me to today-me. For example, I might write a letter from December 26-me to my current self. The letter will detail everything positive she hopes for me on the day of Christmas like getting outside for a good walk, playing board games with the kids or even helping the hostess clean up.

The idea is to stay pleasantly busy so that you don’t eat out of sheer boredom. Build activities into your game plan that are easy and fun. And don’t forget to look for the “magical moments” that quietly arrive.

Okay, write your game plan — what you most want to happen this week — and be ready to wake up with a smile the next morning.❄️

Journal-writing is like a portal to our unconscious, the wisdom flows through our pen or keyboard and splashes onto the page.

While it’s not the last word on overeating, knowing yourself better will always play a pivotal role in how you engage with food.

  • What does Christmas mean to you?
  • How did Christmas food play a role when you were a child?
  • What Christmas food or dishes remind you of a time-past?
  • How does the idea of creating an eating game plan strike you?
  • What do you think about writing from a future-you?
  • Begin the letter from December 26-you or even January 1-you to today-you. ❄️

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

  • Initial thought: “I’m watching younger women drop pounds when needed, what is wrong with me?”
  • Feeling: Frustrated and angry.
  • Action: She diets, then overeats, then it’s back to restrictive eating. Rinse and repeat.
  • Results: She keeps three different clothes sizes in her closet because she knows the scale will go up and down. Nothing new.
  • Situation: Linda wants to drop twenty pounds but the scale won’t budge.
  • Chosen thought: “Losing weight would be fabulous, but I’m working to develop the habits of one, eating smart food and two, eating in a smart portion size.”
  • Feeling: Determined, strong.
  • Action: Linda develops the habit of eating a light dinner and going to bed early with an awesome book.
  • Result: As Linda slowly establishes new habits, she begins to shift how she engages with food. Over time she donates old clothes in different sizes to the thrift store. ❄️

I’m so happy to bring you a great book recommendation — a book that, at first blush, sounds boring, but absolutely isn’t. The author, Susan Orlean, wrote The Library Book, and she can tell one heck of a nonfiction story.

On April 29, 1986, the Los Angeles Central Library caught fire in what became the largest library blaze in U.S. history. Over seven hours, about 400,000 books were incinerated, and another 700,000 were damaged by smoke and water; more than 1.1 million items lost or damaged in a single night.

To this day, the cause of the fire remains a mystery.

Sounds boring, but is not in the least. Great book dessert! ❄️

It is so easy to overestimate the importance of one defining moment and underestimate the value of making small improvements on a daily basis.”❄️

James Clear

If you like this post, I’d love if you’d share it with others. I can buy ad space, but word-of-mouth is always the gold standard. And thank you.

Merry Christmas and have a beautiful week!

Welcome to our new peeps! The red carpet is rolled out for you. So happy you’re here. As Tim Ferriss said, “people don’t want more information about their problems. They want solutions to their problems.”

Below in pink you’ll find five super important posts. The regular Monday post I send will make a lot more sense after you read these pink titles. And if you haven’t received your Aunt Bea copy just write in the comments below and I’ll shoot it right over.

Are you okay with being different? I sure wasn’t. We moved enough when I was young, and I was terrible at being the new girl in class. Breaking into cliques wasn’t my forte, so I’ve found myself with a lifelong feeling of wanting to blend in.

But the way I see it, you and I are the first generation of women over 50 who are taking our food-porn culture by the scruff and telling it, “You’ve done enough damage, we’re taking back our health one smart, ingrained habit at a time.”

Thing is, it’s important to make peace with being different.

  • Different is telling an eating-buddy that you can’t meet her anymore at the cute bakery because you know you’ll overeat the “muffins” (really cupcakes minus the frosting) in the glass case.
  • Different is putting your foot down when someone tries to schedule an activity during the day and time you’ve set aside for your Pilates class.
  • Different is asking the server “too many” questions about the ingredients in the food at the restaurant and getting the side-eye from your partner.

I’ll say it again: we are the first generation of over 50s who can – and are – taking ownership of our health and our bodies. We determine our weight-fate, not Ben & Jerry’s.

And this requires swimming against the tide.

We can learn to navigate our culture’s gazillion calories, but it’s very unfamiliar territory. It requires entirely new food habits, new ways of eating with friends and family, and new reframes.

There’s nothing special about me. My dad never won Olympic gold. My mom was never a Rockette. My point is that I’m very average. If I can do this, you can too. ❄️

Pull out your journal and get feedback from the wisdom inside of you!

  • In what ways has my age made weight loss more sustainable?
  • What patience or boundaries do I have now that I lacked before?
  • How has my relationship with food matured along with me?
  • What has my body taught me in this season of life that it couldn’t teach me when I was younger?
  • Which weight-loss “rules” no longer apply to me and what good can come out of letting them go?
  • How has my sense of worth changed with age? ❄️

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

  • Situation: Margaret, 68, notices that her grandson’s college application essay contains five serious factual errors as he prepares to submit it.
  • Knee-jerk thought: “If I intervene, I might embarrass him and undermine his independence. If I stay silent, the mistakes could affect his chances of getting into the school.:
  • Feeling: Confused about what to do and scared of doing/saying the wrong thing.
  • Action: Margaret ends up staying silent. She decided to stay out of it.
  • Result: “Ultimately,” she thought “getting into a particular school was between her grandson and his parents.” There was nothing she could do.
  • Situation: Margaret, 68, notices that her grandson’s college application essay contains five serious factual errors as he prepares to submit it.”
  • Chosen Thought: I may make my grandson mad, but I can’t let him send off the essay with those errors. This is the perfect time for me to make “a sandwich (say something positive, point out the mistakes, and finish up with another positive).”
  • Feeling: Margaret feels a sense of pride in her own abilities to handle the situation whether her grandson gets mad or appreciates the feedback. Either way, she’s feeling positive.
  • Action: Fixing the mistakes on his essay takes time and her grandson gets grumpy, but Margaret simply responds, “Anyone who has ever written anything has had to work on their copy.” At the end of the day she thinks that it’s about integrity to speak up in a gentle way.
  • Results: Margaret can feel it. Her relationship with her grandson has deepened and it means the world to her. ❄️

Calling Me Home by Julie Kibler features two women: one is young and raising a family, the other elderly. The story is about their friendship and is a slow-burn read, heartwarming, and emotional. Excellent book-dessert. ❄️

Outcomes are about what you get. Processes are about what you do. Identity is about what you believe.” ❄️

— James Clear
Have a chill week!

If you’ve lost weight, December is the only month in the year to keep your weight stable (within a four-pound window). But whatever you eat, keep your habits protected and safe from the holiday buffet line.

Stabilizing — what we once called plateaus — will give your body and mind the necessary and important time to adjust to your new normal weight. Stabilizing is the magic way to overcome the body’s “set-point” theory (that bodies always return to a certain weight). Blow your own mind by keeping your focus on stabilizing.

Have a great week!

You know how we’ve been told, “make a daily gratitude list?” I mean, of course, it’s helpful to be grateful for all that we have: yes, I love clean drinking water, a hot shower and frozen ice cream always on hand (not). Yes, I’m grateful for the Wright Brothers, women getting the vote and Robert Redford’s parents getting busy. But when I’d try to write a list it didn’t feel somehow right for me. (I guess the idea is to make a fresh new list each morning for that particular day.)

But what does speak to me: noticing the magical moments that are woven into our lives like lunch out with a niece you rarely see due to geography; vacationing with a friend you’ve known since college, or staying engaged with the hobby you adore (like seeing Broadway shows, riding your bike for hours knowing your day is wide open or going to the garage sales every Saturday).

So, in honor of magical moments, this is my moment’s list about taking weight off after fifty and keeping it off for a lifetime. Take a look:

  • I’m so glad to be alive when these two humans are also alive. James Clear who wrote the best-seller Atomic Habits that gives the details on how to stage our life for ultimate success. The other human is Charles Duhigg who wrote The Power of Habit. Our moms and grandmas didn’t have this knowledge that we take for granted today. Our world now knows so much about how pivotal habits are, how to build them and how to strengthen them day by day. The way I see it, these two habit books are changing the entire weight loss/maintenance landscape.
  • I’m so happy to live in a time when nutrition labels are on most grocery store items. Love nutrition labels for the knowledge they bring.
  • I love that restaurants — from fast-food to Micheline starred restaurants – put their menu online making it a snap to plan a healthy restaurant meal in advance of dining out. (Funny, but pizza doesn’t look so alluring when you realize a slice of Mellow Mushroom’s meat pizza is 530 calories, 27 g fat, 1,370 mg sodium, and 48 g carbs. And who stops at one slice?)
  • I am thrilled that I had an aha-moment in Sacramento traffic in the late 90s. I resolved then and there to truly change my eating habits rather than merely lose weight for the short run. It’s a tingly feeling when you know you’re having an aha. (But that being said, I don’t think you have to hit bottom and have an aha to lose and maintain forever.)
  • And, yes, it was a magical moment when it dawned on me that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) specifically will make serious inroads to how we lose and maintain after fifty.
  • When I think of certain people that I love having in my life — like my auto repair guy — I let him know how great he is and have brought homemade cookies just to show him that the love is real. Deepen the relationship with the magical people in your life by telling them how important they are to you. (I don’t mention the fur-kids because I know you give them all the hugs and kisses.)

I’m tickled that I’m alive for all of it: the labels, the online menus, that aha moment, CBT and the magical people. Share your favorite gratitude examples or your magical moments in the comments below. ❄️

  • What small moment today made you stop and feel a spark of joy or wonder? Describe it in detail.
  • What ordinary object or routine in your life feels unexpectedly beautiful or comforting when you notice it closely?
  • Can you remember a fleeting encounter with a stranger or friend that left a lasting impression? What made it meaningful?
  • Which sound, smell, or sight instantly brings a sense of peace or nostalgia to you? Why do you think that is?
  • Describe a moment when time seemed to slow down. What were you experiencing, and how did it affect you?
  • When you look back at your week, what tiny, easily overlooked moment would you call magical if you paid attention?
  • How do acts of kindness, whether given or received, change the way you view a day or a person?
  • Which doctor, dentist, hair stylist or veterinarian do you cherish for what they bring to your life?
  • How do you deepen the magical moments?❄️
We often make life decisions based on our fur-kids and their needs

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff. Apply to your own life.

  • Situation: Eleanor’s workplace moved out of state and she decided not to follow. She’s 59 and found a new job that pays less than she’d been making at her former company.
  • Initial thought: “This job is beneath my level of experience. Every morning when I walk in the door, I roll my eyes.”
  • Feeling: Irritated in general especially towards herself.
  • Action: Eleanor begins drinking in the evening.
  • Result: She grits her teeth while holding steady at her new job until she can retire.❄️

For the most part, we can’t do an immediate U-turn from an old sequence to a new one, instead we might need several bridge sequences here to take us from the initial thought to the final chosen thought. But eventually you’d be surprised how quickly you can do one!

  • Situation: Eleanor’s workplace moved out of state and she decided not to follow. She’s 59 and found a new job that pays less than she’d been making at her former company.
  • Chosen thought: “I made the choice to not follow the company and I’m still 100 percent behind my decision. Moving would have put me further away from my adult kids. And I’m happy with my life in this town: I have friends, a veterinarian that I love, and a monthly book club that I’d really miss.”
  • Feeling: Eleanor feels like she has her own back and feels capable and smart for deciding to stay put.
  • Action: Eleanor does two things: first, she begins to look for the good in every day in her new job (and rereads her notes daily) and two, she stays open to landing a new position that is more commiserate to her skill level.
  • Result: Eleanor doesn’t pine for the past because she acknowledges on a daily basis why not following the company was such a strong decision for her life. She embraces all the reason’s she didn’t leave town: she gets together with friends and her kids and deepens her enjoyment of their time together. ❄️

Today I have a fantastic book-dessert recommendation that will give you all the Andy Griffith feels. This book felt to me like being a fly on the wall in a Mayberry home. Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns starts off a bit slow with the author spending time setting the scene and the characters.

The book is set in the south and I just happened to listen to it on audio. The longer I listened to the book the more and more impressed I was with the narrator himself. He wasn’t just good, he was off-the-charts great. So I looked him up and turns out his real name is Grover Gardner, but also works under the name “Tom Parker,” has narrated 1500 books and is considered one of the best in the business.

So today I’m not recommending a book, I’m recommending the audio version of this book. The first half of the story is somewhat slow (but pleasant to read), the second half of the book really speeds up. Highly recommended. Total book-dessert.❄️

Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.” ❄️

Abraham Lincoln

I love giving books as gifts and here’s what I’ve given over the last few years.

Maintaining our weight is so difficult especially during the holidays, so just “hold” your current progress and give yourself an early gift by cutting yourself some slack.

Have a great week!