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In Cozy Falls

How to Make it Through the Candiest of Holidays

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Pearl One

Before I had kids, I thought I was one slick-chick for managing to avoid Halloween candy entirely. I was all, “pshaw, what’s the big deal?”

Then I had kids.

I don’t have little guys anymore, but I have a dedicated scarfer under my roof who hauls home heavy boxes of full-size candy bars from Costco.

Every. Year.

He wasn’t raised with a ton of money and he remembers a time when he was trick-or-treating and someone passed out full-size candy bars. The kindness made a huge impression on him and he determined that one day he’d pass out full-size candy bars too.

My hope is that he’ll give them all out to the neighborhood kids, but he buys so much that we usually have leftovers. So to this day — 18 years into preservation — I ask him to hide the candy from me.

Here’s more of how I preserve my weight loss while living with a man who still eats like a kid:

  • I’ve learned that hunger + grocery shopping equals a very scary scenario. If you haven’t yet developed the habit of always having your cold-tote with you, now is the time. Put an ice block into your cold-tote and add a yogurt, baggie of red grapes, petite carrots, sliced apple and so forth. Your brain needs to see you in action like packing a cold-tote with healthy snacks. Our brain is always watching what we do. We want our brain to see us spit a cookie into the trash that doesn’t taste that great. When our brain sees us spit out a cookie we’re telling our brain: I’m insanely serious about losing.
  • Your cold-tote will save you calories and money otherwise spent on fast-food.
  • When you shop stay entirely out of the candy/seasonal aisles. Don’t tempt yourself by even looking in that direction (that’s how the store gets us). And you’re already habituated to staying out of Costco’s bakery and candy aisles, right?
  • If you love handing candy out on the evening of Halloween, buy it as late in the month as possible and only buy candy that you don’t much like. For example, I can hand out gum drops or any kind of sticky candy that I worry will hurt my dental work.
  • What if you love all candy? What if you want to stop reading and eat candy right now? Wanting treats is merely a sign of hunger. You’re hungry. If you need something quick, have an apple or a small bowl of cereal. If you haven’t yet tried this tip, try it. It seems too simple to work. And yet it totally works.
  • If you love the holiday itself, invest in other fun ways to have Halloween in your life, like putting a beautiful fall wreath on your front door. Or dressing in a costume to hand out candy. (One of my sons wears his dad’s old Darth Vader costume to answer the door. It’s hilarious!)

The most important thing: Halloween occurs on just one day of the year. Don’t stretch the holiday into weeks of eating candy. If you need a costume for this coming Halloween, go with Wonder Woman. Not only do you deserve it, but it’ll be a really fun memory for the coming years. We’ve so got this! ♥

Pearl Two

Listening to a podcast the other day, one of the featured guys said, “I used to be “coach-dad” guy,’ (he coached his kids’ teams) but now that the kids are grown I’ve decided that I’ll be “very round, but super friendly guy.”

He’s talking about identity and how we see ourselves. James Clear in Atomic Habits addresses this very thing when he writes:

“Once you’ve adopted an identity, it can be easy to let your allegiance to it impact your ability to change. Many people walk through life in a cognitive slumber, blindly following the norms attached to their identity” like:

  • I just can’t get up early in the morning.
  • I’m very impulsive (and rarely stop to think things through).
  • I overeat. It’s just who I am and what I do.

Clear’s point is that we were saddled with labels by other or our even our own selves. These labels are stories that we tell our brain like “I’m bad at math” and if we hear the story long enough the negative thought becomes a part of who we are with ourselves and the world.

What we tell ourselves on the regular day-in and day-out veither erodes our sense of self-worth or it supports who we are as a person reaching for a higher level of living.

If I’m over 50 and I tell myself two or three times a day, “Women can’t lose weight after menopause. We get a little menopause-tummy, and everything goes downhill from there. My mom, my grandma, and my great-grandmother all ballooned after age 50. It’s just a fact of life.”

In your journal write about the regular thoughts that plague you. Deconstruct the story and see what it would be like to try on a new label. So instead of,“I’m a miserable failure at keeping my weight off” try practicing, “I’m human and am getting the gist of habits first, the scale will follow.” ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Default Sequence

  • Situation (something concrete): I stopped working out.
  • Thought: I’ve always hated exercise.
  • Feeling: Irritated.
  • Action: I overeat.
  • Result: Back into the same old cycle.

New Sequence

  • Situation (something concrete): I stopped working out.
  • Chosen thought: I’ve stopped for two weeks. I’m just getting back on the bike as if the two-week blip didn’t impact anything. Second thought: just do the bare minimum.
  • Feeling: Wary, wondering if just picking up where I left off will actually work.
  • Action: I ride my indoor recumbent at levels six and seven for 40 minutes. I also do two planks and stretching.
  • Result: I’ve been successfully riding my indoor recumbent six days out of seven for 16 weeks now! When I ride the bike I distract myself by scrolling Instagram. Very pleased with how life is coming along in the work out department. “Doing the bare minimum” really helped me to get back on the bike and then to raise the “bare minimum.”

The key piece that changed my entire trajectory was choosing my new thought: Get back on the bike. Let it go that you haven’t rode in two weeks. Just get back on the bike and do the bare minimum and you’ll flourish from there.

This is exactly how I feel about weight loss: just get back to it, no matter if you’ve overeaten for a month, just get back on the path. ♥

Pearl Four

Do you want to hear the most astounding story that happened in 1971? I was seven at the time, but hadn’t heard about the story likely because my parents didn’t want me to refuse to ever board a plane again. But decades later I can’t believe I’ve never heard Juliane’s story. The book is When I Fell From the Sky by Juliane Koepcke.

Juliane’s story of survival is astounding. You’ve got to read it. ♥

Pearl Five

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” ♥

Henry Ford

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Gorgeous Falls

These Types of Cinderella Stories Don’t Speak to Me, I Need a Real Human

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Pearl One

Jillian Michaels. You might remember Jillian as one of the coaches on shows like the Biggest Loser. Her back-story is a great one. (She attributes some of her food issues with wanting to hang out with her dad who was also overweight and they “bonded over food.”)

David Goggins. Author of Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds. Same thing: awesome origin story.

Each started young-adulthood at a much heavier weight than they wanted to be, and both were living the sedentary lifestyle.

So Michaels and Goggins lost a lot of weight years ago and completed their amazing transformation by becoming total hard-bodies.

Okay.

I love a great rag-to-riches Cinderella story as much as anyone. They can be so inspirational. We think, “if they can make it, then I can too!” Because one day our prince really will come.”

We’re certain of it.

But princes don’t really materialize in real life. No matter how in awe we are about super successful people, there’s something in the back of our mind that won’t stop nudging: I’m not like them. I could never work out at such an elite level or eat so precisely.

Jillian Michaels and David Goggins are practically immortal. Like aliens from another planet they created amazing lives for themselves, but — to me — they’re on an extreme side of the spectrum. Their stories are spectacular for books and TV shows, but they don’t really have anything in common with me.

Truth.

I will never be a hard-body. When I was initially losing weight, I just wanted to figure out why food was so hard for me and then I wanted to change my eating habits. I was tired of the whole diet-cartel shebang. It’s like one day, my prefrontal saw what my cavewoman was doing — eating everything in sight — and said, “Nope, we won’t be doing that anymore. Hope you had fun because it’s over.”

Here’s my point: Unlike Michaels and Goggins, I’m a regular person. Yes, I lost the weight and have preserved my loss for 18 years now, but I merely stumbled onto a set of skills and mindsets. And these are skills that can be learned. I wouldn’t say that learning how to live on The Smart Eating Path is like learning to fix a flat tire, but it’s in that vein. I look at our work as if we’re in a PhD program of learning the smart eating tools, habits and mindsets that we’ll keep for life.

Michaels and Goggins’ are wonderful examples of what a humng is capable of.

But me?  I’ll always be your average marshmallow-human.

So – underlined in red – I am not Michaels or Goggins.

I’m you.

And we’ve got this. ♥

Pearl Two

Remember the commercial: I could have had a V-8! This list is our V-8 commercial.

After I grocery shop, I make a list of everything I bought so that when I’m hungry, I don’t make mac ‘n cheese type choices.

 My list includes: most fruit but especially red grapes and strawberries. Already to-go hard-boiled eggs and the kind of bread I love from Trader Joe’s, everything to make a smoothie, hummus for baby carrots into, yogurts and so forth. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Default Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete): I’m not losing weight at the clip I assumed at all.
  • Thought: THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG!!
  • Feeling: Angry, sad, despondent.
  • Action: Pulls on sweatpants.
  • Result: I go a little crazy with food for the next few months.

New Chosen Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete): I’m not losing weight at the clip I assumed at all.
  • Chosen thought: I’m remembering that this is the moment that I genuinely want to have compassion for myself. I remind me that we all live in a food-porn world. It’s understandable that I’m really mad, and i also know that i need to look for ideas and support in my journal.
  • Feeling: I shift from being annoyed to determined.
  • Action: I write in my journal about what’s going on.
  • Result: Turns out, there’s a lot going on beneath a scale number. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I figured out the hardest time in my eating day and I’m putting “the hardest time” under a microscope to figure out what’s going on with me. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

I’m just getting into one of my most favorite author’s book A History of Loneliness: A Novel by John Boyne. If you haven’t yet met Boyne and his exceptional storytelling prowess, you’re in for a treat. I think my favorite of all is The Heart’s Invisible Furies: A Novel.

I’m now just dipping into A History of Loneliness: A Novel. So far it’s typical Boynes. Don’t miss Boynes’ books. He’s one of those rare writers who produces masterpieces. Total book-dessert and then some. ♥

Pearl Five

Too often, we fall into an all-or-nothing cycle with our habits. The problem is not slipping up; the problem is thinking that if you can’t do something perfectly, then you shouldn’t do it at all.” ― James Clear, Atomic Habits. ♥

Please join me this week in being imperfect and going for it anyhow.

And if you’ve enjoyed this post please to a friend!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Cozy Falls

Go on the Offensive for the Coming Holidays by Creating A Fall Playbook

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Pearl One

Whether we’re actively losing, preserving or holding our weight, we can all see the beauty and brilliance in creating a fall playbook. (These smaller playbooks are necessary as you continue to embed your smart eating habits.)

We’re nearing the end of September and now is the time to sit down with your journal and have a chat with your autumn “future-you.”

You might ask, which future-me? You decide. I might choose Thanksgiving future-me or December 1 future-me. It depends on how far out you want your focus to be. Years ago, I like to “chunk down” the season: So now I’ll write a Nov. 1 future-me, a Dec. 1 future-me and a Jan. 1 future-me. The plan is to ask yourself on such-and-such date, how do I want to feel and think when I first wake up?

Discovering future-you’s thoughts, wants and dreams will fuel your experience today and over the next coming weeks. It’s a motivating tool-on-steroids.

Let’s say that I choose Sunday, December 1 as my future-me. First, I put into place a “fall puzzle.” If you need a refresher on what a puzzle does for our long-term “why” check out this link.

Creating a seasonal puzzle to compliment our larger overarching puzzle is a great way to chunk-down the year. (Other ways to chunk-down include monthly, weekly or even daily puzzles all working in tandem with our larger overarching puzzle.)

Fall is a super fun time of year food-wise — and the food-pushers are on the prowl — which makes our trek more tricky but learning how to navigate the holidays is what living the Smart Eating Lifestyle is all about.

So, I pull out my journal and write answers from December 1-me’s perspective.

I ask December 1-me is: “why?” Why should I care about living the Smart Eating Lifestyle from mid-September to the first of December? ______________

I’m so happy that I _______________.

I’m blown away that I ______________.

No question, it was hard but I was able to ______________.

It may be small, but I’m thrilled that I _______________.

I want to thank you for _____________________.

And you made things work out beautifully.

The one thing I wish I’d told you ____________________.

If nobody else tells you that I’m super proud of you for ________________________.

The more we engage with active-planning the better we wield this superpower tool.

We’ve so got this. ♥

Pearl Two

Did you know that Starbucks started the pumpkin spice craze over 20 years ago with their pumpkin spice latte (PSL)? Did you also know that the grande PSL clocks in at 390 calories, 50 grams of sugar and 14 grams of fat? Yes, our beloved drink comes from the food-porn side of town. (For reference, their chocolate croissant is 300 calories.)

If you’ve ever had the high-octane PSL, it’s delish, but only because it’s packed in sugar, fat and calories.

So, that said, here’s how we make the skinnier (and more inexpensive) PSL version.

  • To begin, don’t enter the locale until you first have a small, nutritious bite (eat-before-you-eat is always our first go-to).
  • Then order a regular latte.
  • Ask for one to two pumps only of the pumpkin spice syrup (forgoing their automatic four pumps).
  • Rather than their 2% milk, request a milk alternative like almond, oat, or soymilk.
  • Omit the whipped cream completely. You guys, Starbucks makes their recipe with heavy cream and four vanilla syrup pumps.
  • Request “cold foam” which eliminates the sky high calories.
  • Keep this “recipe” in your purse in case you one day find yourself in a Starbucks. The main takeaway about the PSL and likely all of their holiday drinks: watch out for the whipped cream and sugary flavored syrup pumps.
  • And if you’re in the actively losing weight stage, research Starbuck’s menu online well before going into the store to order. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Default Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete) I got on the scale this morning and it’s up four pounds.
  • Thought: THIS ISN’T WORKING!!
  • Feeling: Rage, emotional self-abuse, sad.
  • Action: tired of the whole thing. I overeat because what does it matter?
  • Result: I return to the yo-yo dieting lifestyle.

You may need more than one bridge to shift to the new chosen thought.

Bridge Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete) I got on the scale this morning and it’s up four pounds.
  • Chosen thought: I’m giving this “positive self-talk” thing a try. I can consider the idea that getting angry and abusing my self does nothing for my eating and weight situation.
  • Feeling: Still angry, but I can see Wendy’s point.
  • Action: I eat a bagel heavy on the cream cheese.
  • Result: Having had a king’s breakfast, I eat a moderate princess lunch, have two snacks though the days and eat a tiny dinner at 6 p.m.

New Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete) I got on the scale this morning and it’s up four pounds.
  • Chosen thought: For a flash, I felt like throwing the scale through the window, but within seconds I was feeling curious and thought, I know how to course-correct.
  • Action: I’ve shifted from somewhat angrus about how my smart eating plan is going. I ask myself, which habit needs strengthening? Do I need to go to the store for “support food” (my favorite yogurt, fruit), or is something else causing a lot of stress? Do I have a solid plan to help me handle stress that’s not food-based.
  • Result: (if I’m actively losing weight) I pull out my journal and begin to understand that it’s probably time for me to “hold” rather than actively lose. I then write about how I can better “hold” so that my body can get used to my new weight.
  • Result (if I’m “holding” or preserving my weight loss): I pull out my journal and ask myself which habits should I strengthen? Which food should I buy? And finally, how am I falling into an old pattern of losing weight only to gain it back again? Do I have automatic assumptions about preserving a loss? In hte past, what was your experience with the old “maintenance?” Write about needing to “unlearn” old maintenance thoughts.

Adding that look at how engaged you are as you continue to preserve your loss. You’re engaging with the situation versus eating through it. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy.

Once again, every book I skim-read fell short this week. So, the two-book series that I’m highly recommending these two novels one that spent eons on the NYT bestseller list and the second heavily anticpated:

Brooklyn: A Novel by Colm Tóibín has written “one of the most unforgettable characters in contemporary literature” (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette).

Long Island: a Novel. Tóibín is simply one of the world’s best living literary writers.” —The Boston Globe.

I’ve been told these are “don’t miss” books. ♥

Pearl Five

Let the master thought “I will succeed” dominate your thinking.” ♥

David J. Schwartz

Now is a perfect time to tell your family please no food gifts for the coming holidays. If you’ve enjoyed this post, I hope you’ll share it with a friend.

Have a wonderful week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Cozy Falls

How to Chill Your Cavewoman When We’re Losing After Age 50

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Pearl One

A Thriver asked, “is it okay that I’m trying to lose weight for a wedding? I can’t seem to get motivated otherwise.”

My thought is absolutely yes. I mean, whatever works. If “leapfrogging” towards a “baby goal” would help, I say go for it. I’ve often leaped from a wedding to a vacation and so forth.

But.

The problem arises when after the wedding you immediately fall off the Smart Eating Path and go food-bananas. Yes, I leapfrog, but I always remember the larger plan and that is to keep my prefrontal in charge of my show.

Here’s the idea:

The mental work is around how your prefrontal brain engages with your cavewoman.

If before the wedding the prefrontal white-knuckles the cavewoman into submission making it seem that the prefrontal “won” (by getting your body to a lower weight) the irate cavewoman will go berserk during the wedding reception itself (cake!) and possibly for weeks or even months after.

How to avoid the cavewoman’s meltdown? “Make space” for her before the wedding. Let her speak through your journal-writing and ask her strong questions like, “how can I make the next few weeks sane for you?” There are ways to to keep her happy without using food (think: a mani/pedi, a new dress, a new subscription to Spotify etc.).

And one way you can absolutely keep your cavewoman napping is having your “Brownies at Breakfast.”  Write up smart eating plans for the day of the event and then write a second plan detailing how you’ll handle the first week after the wedding, the second week after and so on. Detailed planning is always our secret sauce.

The more you plan, the more chill your cavewoman. Planning includes making a list of your favorite smart food and having it on-hand in your kitchen for the day of and the week after the wedding.

Getting ahead of your cavewoman’s potential meltdown puts your prefrontal back in charge making smart choices that will last you a lifetime. ♥

Pearl Two

Remember “Ma” from the Golden Girls? For our generation, “Ma” was your standard-issue “grandma.” Turns out, the little old lady grandmas from yesteryear have morphed into Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton and just recently Joy Behar on The View (after having face work) who said, “This is what 80 looks like now” and immediately went back to the topic of the day.

So, what does this have to do with us?

My point is that times are changing and staying hopeful is important to maintain as we go forward. It’s okay to get a little excited that we’re in the middle of having an entirely new experience with food, health and weight loss. We know so much more today about how habits are established, how positive self-talk is like the wind at our back, and we’re learning how to better live in our food-on-steroids world.

Today we know that getting down to a specific goal weight is merely the beginning of our trek; that the real work begins as we transition into preserving our loss forever ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

I’m writing this sequence as if I was the person experiencing a problem with drinking.

Original Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete):  I drank chardonnay last night. Two glasses.
  • Automatic thought: So what? I’m human. Lots of people want to take the edge off.
  • Feeling: A sense of false confidence. Defensive.
  • Action: I stop going to AA.
  • Results: Two glasses of chard turned into five.

New sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete):  I drank chardonnay last night. Two glasses.
  • Chosen thought: I made the wrong move. But I won’t beat up on myself. I’m only human.
  • Feeling: a little sad.
  • Action: on calendar plan for next AA meeting.
  • Result: I got myself to an AA meeting and I feel stronger and the AA magic begins it’s good work. ♥

Pearl Four

Because books love us and want us to be happy

This week I read the first few chapters of many books and while many of them were really good, they weren’t what I’d call book-dessert material. So for today’s book selection, I’ve reached into my past.

It was 2011 and my two boys were five days away from turning eight. We’d moved enough times that homeschooling seemed the smartest route to take and an enormous part of homeschooling involved a lot of read-alouds. We plowed through at least one or two masterpieces a week like Charlotte’s Web, Half Magic, The White Giraffe, The Saturdays and so many more.  Kid-lit does not get the attention it deserves.

So, there I was in 2011 and a new book called The Help was just out. And, my favorite thing, at sentence one I was pulled into the story. To me, it was so good that I couldn’t stop reading. It made a serious dent in my homeschooling time with the kids. So once I was done with The Help, I made a hard and fast rule for myself that I could not read my adult books until I was relatively done with kid-lit. And they lived happily ever after. ♥

Pearl Five

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” ♥

Dale Carnegie

I love this quote because it’s certainly true in my life. I will actually ride my indoor recumbant bike if I can scroll through Instagram.

Have a wonderful week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Cozy Falls

Managing the Messy-Middle When You’re Exhausted of Losing/Preserving After Age 50

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Keeping our toddler emotional brain chill is all about planning.

Pearl One

You’re mentally exhausted, bored, and sick of the whole “lose weight over 50” thing. It’s taking way too long and you’re starting to think that “if it were meant to be” it would be to-done by now.

I mean, you knew it would be hard, but – hello? — you didn’t expect it to be this hard.

When my twins were two-years-old, I was complaining to my sister about the difficulty of dealing with two toddlers. My sister whose two kids were both under four said, “it’s hard, it’s hard, it’s just all hard.”

We can call it burnout or the messy-middle, but whatever we call it the honeymoon days are long-gone.

When you’re feeling discouraged and “done” with the whole smart eating deal, here’s how to use use your annoyance for your highest good: pull out your journal and therapize yourself.

When we journal-write we’re inviting our unconscious to show up on the page and share her wisdom.

Ask yourself smart questions like these:

  • When thinking about past projects: what has been your knee-jerk reaction to the messy-middle?
  • Do you know what triggers a feeling of burn-out for you? (Triggers are different for different people.)
  • Do you have everything you need to support yourself during the messy-middle times?
  • How do you reconnect to your why you started this process (losing after 50) in the first place? Do you reconnect to it daily, weekly, or not at all? What would it feel like to reconnect daily? What would that look like?
  • What are you doing to make your smart eating-life a little easier on yourself?
  • Same question, but: what are you doing to make your smart eating-life harder on yourself?
  • How do you show up in your own life for you?
  • Do you have an internal cheerleader or coach who talks you through the messiest of middles?
  • Is your coach strict? Or nurturing and loving? (Both voices are important to have as you go forward.)

So, if you feel stuck in the messy-middle just know that in this moment you and I have a choice. We can decide to replicate messy-middle reactions from our past, or we can consciously choose to handle this particular messy-middle with an entirely new, well thought out response. ♥

Pearl Two

On a daily basis, always take a moment to look at what you’re doing: losing/preserving weight after age 50. Appreciate how much you’re doing. Sure, shoring up such-and-such habit would be smart, but for a moment just admire what is. You’ve done a great job. If nobody else is saying it to you: I’m saying it: you’re doing a great job. Now, give yourself this kind of appreciation every single day along with “you’ve so got this.” ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Original Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete): My school reunion is in two months.
  • Thought: I’m too fat.
  • Feeling: Mortified. Embarrassed. Mad at myself.
  • Action: I start a super strict diet.
  • Result: After the wedding I’m ravenous for everything food-porn. I go off the rails for months.

Bridge Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete): My school reunion is in two months.
  • Thought: Without beating myself up, I can have concern for how I’ll look to old friends.
  • Feeling: Nervous. A little on-edge.
  • Action: I’m going to the InspiredEater.com and planning from there.
  • Result: I’m talking to myself in a much kinder, less judgemental kind of way. Reunions are rough on everybody.

New Chosen Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete): My school reunion is in two months.
  • Thought: The reunion is perfect for a “baby goal.” I can bring my “best self” and I’m so looking forward to catching up with old friends.
  • Feeling: Revved-up. Focused.
  • Action: I write a smart eating plan for the next two months. I’ll make the same kind of plan for actual day of the event. And I’ll make another smart eating plan for the weeks after event. Planning is my golden ticket!
  • Result: My last two months have gone well (eating-wise). While my weight is higher than I’d like it to be, I can live with these results. I’m focused now on who I’ll get to see again. ♥

Pearl Four

I have another great memoir for you. Remember Kramer on Seinfeld? Well, who would think he’s always had the soul of a serious actor? Entrances and Exits by Michael Richards (Author), Jerry Seinfeld (Foreword) is the precise reason I love memoirs so much: you learn the many ins and outs of somebody’s life and it’s dang interesting! Really, it’s one of those books I stayed up too late reading. Highly recommend. ♥

Pearl Five

It has to be hard so you’ll never ever forget.” ♥

Bob Harpet

Have you ever had a day when you wake up tired? For no real reason? That’s me today. I think I’ll catch some shut-eye with my kitty on the couch.

Have a wonderful week!!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Gorgeous Falls

Hurtle the Obstacles by Asking Yourself These Strong Questions

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Pearl One

Sounds so simple: just nail down your why and you’re to go! But it’s so much more complex than that. When you’re feeling good, get cozy with your journal and begin asking yourself strong question like “why do I want to lose weight for a lifetime? Why now? Why does this trek (losing weight after 50) even matter to me?”

Continue by asking, “what has been the easiest skill to adopt: eat before you eat, book-dessert, food track and so forth What has been the hardest?”

When you journal-write you’re essentially asking your prefrontal brain for information-slash-wisdom. Something is happening inside of you at this very moment that is fueling your willingness to try a new way of losing weight and preserving the loss for the long run. What’s happening inside of you?

You and I are not in kindergarten or even high school. We’re in a PhD program going for the gold even as we’re swimming against the tide (our world littered in food-porn as far as the eye can see).

What’s a time when you had a solid why and scored? Having a strong why muscle in place and tending to it daily is the very essence of what a forever weight loss is all about.

An example

A dear friend loves horses. She doesn’t have her own, but arranged a rock star deal for herself and her girls with a nearby horse barn. The three could ride for free if my friend cleaned the individual stalls once a week. She fell in love with the horses and the agreement.

All was well until her husband was offered a job in England. They’d lived in England once before and loved it. She was 100 percent onboard; her attitude was I’ll pack the house tonight and be ready to roll by morning.

But wait, what about her darling horses in North Carolina? She was very attached to them and not being with her darlings broke her heart. But she’d known this day was coming, even if it came faster than she’d expected.

Spoiler: she now lives with her husband and girls in England.  

You can see my friend’s why: she loved life in England and always knew that she’d eventually have to say goodby to the horses. She had a why that fueled her through the sad moments of leaving North Carolina, U.S. and starting a new chapter of life in the UK.

We have whys behind every single thing we do, but we just don’t look it that way. Trust me, there’s a why behind cleaning the toilets in my home, behind gassing up the car, choosing one dress over another at the boutique and so forth. Whys are behind everything we do.

This Matterhorn-trek we’re on (losing after 50) is challenging enough on its own. With your why firmly in place, meta-watch yourself hurtle the obstacles. ♥

Pearl Two

I’m hearing from a lot of you guys that you’re burning out on this idea of losing weight through establishing specific habits and mind-sets. I hear you, I really do.

If you’ve reached your preferred weight and find yourself gaining, your smart eating habits need serious strengthening. The bare bones truth: we can’t gain if our smart eating habits are in place. We’re not living the yo-yo life of the last century. We’re changing how we engage with food and consciously taking food from “good times” and soothing comfort to 95-percent fuel. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Reactive Sequence

This scenario happened a few years ago to a friend. I’m writing as if I’m her.

Responsive Sequence

  • Situation (something concrete): My therapist is moving to another state (they didn’t Zoom back then).
  • Chosen thought: I’ve been seeing my therapist for three years now. I wonder how it would feel to go-it alone for a few months or even years?
  • Feeling: Still annoyed that she’s leaving, scared of having this important therapist out of my life. Curious about how it would feel to not have this twice a month support.
  • Action: I sit down one evening when my house is empty and give the matter a lot of thought. Then I write in my journal. Rather than being reactive, I want to be responsive for the the relationship I had with my therapist, especially for my own healing.
  • Result: I still didn’t want to do a full goodbye in person, but I wrote her a long letter while she was still in town about how I felt about her moving away. ♥

Pearl Four

I really love memoirs because I joke that I’m nosy, but the truth is that I want to see the details of their lives and how they rose from the ashes.

Today’s memoir — like last week’s book-dessert by Penny Marshall (which rocked) — starts off with our heroine being invited to lunch by Oprah at her Montecito, CA home. It’s a fantastic opening to a really well written memoir. It’s so amazing to me how some people are able to pull themselves out of the muck of their childhood. This is me: loving the person you are today by Chrissy Metz. A great book-dessert. 

Pearl Five

Failure happens all the time. It happens every single day in practice. What makes you better is how you react to it.” – Mia Hamm ♥

Have a beautiful first week of September!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Endless Summers

Why a Forever-Weight Loss Requires Being Seen as Different

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The friend that you meet at the cute cafe with the many calories? Sometimes you have to say goodbye.

Pearl One

How are you with being different? Maybe even described as a little weird? I sure wasn’t comfortable. We moved enough when I was young, and I was terrible at being the “new girl” in class. Breaking into cliques was never my forte, so I’ve found myself with a lifelong feeling of wanting to blend in.

The way I see it, we’re the first generation of women over 50 who are taking our food-porn culture by the scruff and telling it, “You’ve done enough damage, we’re taking back our health — and our bank accounts — one smart, embedded habit at a time.”

Thing is, you have to make peace with being different.

  • Different is telling an eating-buddy that you can’t meet her anymore at the cute bakery because you know you’ll overeat the “muffins” (basically cupcakes minus the frosting) in the glass case.
  • Different is putting your foot down when someone tries to schedule an activity during the day, time you’ve set aside for your Pilates class.
  • Different is asking the server “too many” questions about the ingredients in food at the restaurant and getting the side-eye from your friends.
  • Different is when you take your cold-tote everywhere. The one time you forgot it in the fridge, you asked your husband to go back for it. Even though he was not happy.
  • Different is being a little obsessive with always putting your smart eating life first before holidays, before trips, before anything really that isn’t your cute, fuzzy cubs.

I’ll say it again: we are the first generation of over 50s who can – and are – taking ownership of our health and our bodies. We determine the fate of our weight, not Ben & Jerry’s.

And this requires swimming against the tide.

We can learn to navigate our culture’s gazillion calories, but it’s very unfamiliar territory. It requires entirely new ways of interacting with food, new ways of eating with friends and family, and new habits to establish.

Remember, I’m you. There’s nothing special about me. If I can do this, you sure can too. ♥

Pearl Two

When I was losing weight and then going onto preserve my original loss, I said these words to myself daily: “do not get smug, I am not smug. I’m never, ever smug.” Avoiding feeling smug was a signal to my brain that I was not finished “helicoptering” my life. Eighteen years of preservation later, my “helicoptering” is easier and feels more like “just real life.”

Somehow I knew that I had to always, always, always remember that losing – and maintaining – was incredibly difficult, and getting smug was merely the beginning of a downfall. ♥

Pearl Three

Original Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete): “The scale has only gone up.”
  • Thought: “Oh, no. I thought this time would be different, that I would really keep my weight loss off. And – per usual – I’m not.”
  • Feeling: Total anger, disappointment.
  • Action: I spend the next week overeating.
  • Result: The scale goes even higher, confirming that I can’t do this (maintain).

New Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete): “The scale has only gone up.”
  • Thought: “Okay, instead of getting furious, I’m getting curious.”
  • Feeling: Resolved.
  • Action: I immediately head for my journal and begin writing. I ask myself what my habits are like? Am I still tracking? Have I given up evening desserting? Do I take a great book to bed? Do I still have the habit of seeing my eating life as “on a diet” or “off the diet?” If I’m still looking at eating as “being on” versus “being off”, how do I help myself let go of that old way of living with food? How do I help myself live on the Smart Eating Path? What do I start with first?
  • Result: I’m back to strengthening my habits and immediately shop for smart food. ♥

Pearl Four

I love reading a good memoir about a celebrity that I don’t really know, but am blown away to find out how mega-interesting and funny they are. The funniest moment was the time I picked up a Black guy’s memoir in the library that I 100 percent loved only to watch a movie with my sons and shout out, “Hey! It’s the guy from the book!” “The guy” was Kevin Hart and I’d read his I Can’t Make This Up: Life Lessons. I absolutely recommend this funny, inspirational book. I love reading about successful people and all they did to make the big-time. (He writes so well about his mom and dad. For that alone I recommend it.”)

Penny Marshall’s book was different in that of course I knew Laverne from Laverne and Shirley. When I saw Laverne’s (Penny Marshall’s) memoir My Mother Was Nuts: a Memoir at the library, I grabbed it. This book was such a fun read. How she got her start in Hollywood is super interesting and funny. I highly recommend this book-dessert. It was definitely stay-up-too-lateable.

My other favorite memoirs are:

The Choice: Embrace the Possible by Edith Eger. (Trigger-alert! If Nazis and Nazi stories are upsetting, maybe pass on this memoir. It’s not gory in the least, but I gave it to an aunt who had a strong reaction to it. She responded how I would respond if the book’s about hurting animals.  (To give you an idea of the author’s reach: she’s been visited by Oprah and of course in Oprah’s book club.)

Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover.

The Elephant in the Room — One Fat Man’s Quest to Get Smaller in a Growing America by Tommy Tomlinson.

My Stroke of Insight a brain scientist’s personal journey by Jill Bolte.

Simple Dreams: a Musical Memoir by Linda Ronstadt.

My Southern Journey: true stories from the heart of the South by Rick Bragg.

So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y’all Don’t Even Know by Retta

On Writing: A Memoir on the Craft by Stephen King.

The unwinding of the miracle : a memoir of life, death, and everything that comes after by Julie Yip-Williams.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed. ♥

Pearl Five

Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.” Winston Churchill ♥

I cannot believe that I’ve gone an entire summer without once putting on a bathing suit and going to the neighborhood pool. When my boys were small I loved everything having to do with swimming pools, water slides, spray parks, lakes and beaches. Summers were awesome.

This week I am going to the pool: maybe even twice. (I’ll take pictures.)

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Endless Summers

Three Little Letters to Ensure Massive Results When we’re Losing After 50

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Left to run amuk, the cavewoman will empty your retirement account and fly to Hawaii.

Pearl One

For the last 300,000 years, humans (anatomically like us) hunted and gathered. You and I are the children of the survivors; our ancestors were not eaten by a saber-tooth tiger or a cave bear. Our people found the calories and moved on to creating civilization.

So, if — like me — you rely on food a little too much, we come by it honestly.

I call the primitive part of our brain our cavewoman. She’s the reason we default to overeating in the first place. When we were kids the cavewoman was always there for us offering a soothing bag of potato chips with a sour cream dip or a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream.

However along with the cavewoman, we also developed a prefrontal part to our brain. Our prefrontal is all business. If the cavewoman hears the morning alarm clock go off and refuses to get up “because I’m so cozy”; it’s our prefrontal that hauls us out of bed, makes our bed, heads for the coffee and so on.

The prefrontal is the one who puts funds into our Roth account. If left up to the cavewoman she’d blow the money on trips and new cars.

Let me give you another example from my life. I will not get up at 5 in the bleeping morning for any reason. No question, I’m a zombie without sleep.

Oh. Wait.

Except for that time when I woke up super early when the kids were still sleeping, and The Scarfer and I packed the minivan quietly (we didn’t want to wake the neighbors). We put our two little firecrackers into their car seats, and set out for Florida’s Legoland! I was so excited that morning. It had snowed the night before in Virginia and the neighborhoods we drove through getting to the freeway looked like a fairy land.

You see what happened? My “why” changed entirely for that specific morning. And my “why” for staying on the Smart Eating Path has also shifted through the years. Initially I took the weight off because I’d long felt like “the big one” in my family. Everyone else in my family is what you’d call “skinny.”

As an adult my “why” came down to my kids, husband and fur-kids. Today my “why” is wanting to be as healthy and strong as possible for my future family: the grand dogs, grand cats, grandkids and of course their grandfather.

There is so much work involved in losing weight after 50, we need to know our “why” well and connect with it about four or five times a day.

Journal-write about your “why.” Peel back the onion one layer at a time.

Just let your mind go and free-write to these journal prompts:

  • Why does it matter to you to get to your goal weight and preserve it for a lifetime?
  • Who around you is saying that you need to lose weight?
  • If you had food issues as a kid, do you have a sense of when the need to soothe yourself first appeared?  
  • Grieving food. Could you write a note to your favorite junk-food saying good-bye (for now)?
  • Did food help you get through a tough childhood?
  • How strong is your “why”? How could you strengthen it?
  • How often do you focus on your “why”?
  • What does “immersing” yourself in your “why” mean for you? ♥

Pearl Two

We might say casually, “I’m losing a few” or “I’m on a new eating program.”

As you shift onto the Smart Eating Path, treat your new lifestyle like you would a newborn.

Giving up fun-food is like taking a baby-blanket away from a baby. Life is hard, and we found a way to deal with the ups and downs of life.

As you make changes, Go Mr.-Rogers on yourself: be gentle with you. Find new ways to soothe yourself when you’re moving from the over-eater yo-yo dieter to living on the Smart Eating Path isn’t a “pull that crank and push that lever” type of thing.

Losing after 50 takes grit and determination.

Be good to yourself as you go forward: have your favorite smart foods on-hand along with plenty of fresh fruit and veggies and and congratulate yourself often because what you’re doing is black-diamond difficult. Should we lose/preserve our weight today? Or would we rather climb the Matterhorn? ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Default Sequence

I’m pretending to be a Thriver who doesn’t like tracking food.

  • Situation (something very concrete): I dislike tracking my food intake so I don’t do it.
  • Thought: “Tracking food is stupid.”
  • Feeling: Angry (towards idea of tracking and anger at self for not tracking).
  • Action: I think about tracking now and again, but mainly I think of it as smart eating tool for others, but I don’t want to.
  • Result: I don’t track.

New Sequence

  • Situation (something very concrete): I dislike tracking my food intake so I don’t do it.
  • New Thought: Why is tracking beneficial? I need to research the studies that show trackers lose more weight than the average bear.
  • Feeling: Cautious, but curious.
  • Action: I find an elegant, spiral-bound notebook along with a great pen. I put these tools by my refrigerator and just let them sit there for a week. On the second week I’ll track my morning food, but that’s it.
  • Result: I know cognitively that tracking is “good for me” but I just have a lot of resistance to tracking. I’m working with myself one week at a time. I remind myself: it’s not about tracking “the right way.” Moving very slowly allows your prefrontal to be in charge and your cavewoman ssleep. ♥

Pearl Four

My favorite thing is when I’m immediately pulled into a book and I have a great title for you that did just that. The Rent Collector by Camron Wright is based on a real family living in a large community next to a massive dump. The families are called “pickers” and they pick through the dump trying to find trash that can be recycled, food that’s still good, and stuff for the kids like a beat-up old book. It took me forever to get to this book, but I’m so glad I finally opened it. Don’t let the topic throw you, it’s really good. A Cambodian husband, wife and 16-month-old baby survive a desperately poor life by picking through trash. Doesn’t that sound like a fun read? Even still, I highly recommend the Rent Collector as a phenomenal book-dessert. ♥

Pearl Five

It’s not that the chocolate cake doesn’t call to me, it’s just that my “no thanks” muscle is much stronger.” ♥

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Endless Summers

7 Myths of Weight Loss that Need to Go the Way of the Cigarette

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What workout is “play” for you?

Hello Thrivers,

Once again, thank you for jumping to Mondays with me! I’m sitting here happy because I have a full bag of my favorite stir fry frozen veggies from Costco (you’ll find them next to the frozen strawberries).

My standard dinner is brown rice and vegetables from any store, but I love Costco’s by far the most.

As Shania says, “Let’s go, girls!

Pearl One

Myth 1: Working Out Works for Weight Loss

Working out is an absolute “must” for all of us of course, but every time I see a woman who looks like she’s being tortured huffing and puffing down the sidewalk, I want to stop the car, jump out and say, “You didn’t hear. Unless we’re training to be in the Navy Seals we don’t lose weight by chugging up and down the street.”

Weight loss is only impacted by what we eat (again, unless we’re a swimmer on the high school’s swim team).

My take? The best workout is choosing an activity that’s seriously fun for you because so much good comes from being active.

Endorphins from a workout are almost like a medication with the only side effects being a stronger heart (from cardio) and stronger muscles (from the we weights we lift). And an active lifestyle is said to combat falling and breaking a bone, several cancers, diabetes, and heart problems. Not to mention helping us sleep better at night and being less grumpy during the day.

Pick what’s most fun for you. I’ve seen women on the river kayaking, I’ve seen women surfing, and I’ve seen women taking long walks with their fur-kids. Pick a handful of activities you love and establish a strong habit of committing to your playtime five times a week.

The idea of getting sweaty everyday for thirty to forty minutes is the gold standard for healthy bodies. My point is: skip the unsustainable huffing and puffing and take a long walk instead. And consider adding weight lifting to your life too: every study tells us that weightlifting after age 50 is one of the best habits we”ll ever embed. ♥

Myth 2: Self-Control and Motivation Is Our Only Hope

Way back when, I wouldn’t have understood it if someone had told me that motivation offers false hope and won’t help us lose weight. (I would’ve thought, “well, what else is there?!”)

But today having preserved my loss for 18 years now, I can tell you unequivocally that motivation plays no role in losing and maintaining for the long run after 50.

Motivation is like Endora from Bewitched, it pops up when it feels like it and that’s no way to craft a life. The only way to lose and maintain is to develop ironclad habits.

If you find yourself hoping for self-control or motivation, dip back into Atomic Habits by James Clear to remember how crucial smart habits are when we’re trekking this weight loss mountain.

Myth 3: Calories In, Calories Out!

As I was losing 55 pounds (after my aha moment), and went onto preserve the loss for 18 years at this point it became clear to me that calorie eaten at 9 p.m. are different from calories eaten in the morning.

For example, I’m convinced that breakfast like a king, lunch like a princess, and eat dinner like a pauper is what’s made everything work for me. I encourage readers to combine what I call the Royal Eating Plan (REP) style with their eating plan of choice (Mediterranean, WW, Mayo Clinic and so forth).

But here’s people who wrote it much better than I did: Bust the Myth.

And these two studies back up my own experience of losing and preserving:

Myth 4: After Menopause There’s Just No Way.

Our culture has long trumpeted the idea that women “over a certain age” are simply out of luck if they’re hoping for a large loss after age 50 with a plan to maintain (preserve) the loss forever.

But here’s the deal, in these modern times you and I have smart eating tools and updated knowledge at our fingertips that our moms and grandmas never came close to having. It hurts my heart to think about how they approached weight loss, and how – while they might’ve pulled off ten or twenty pounds for a wedding or reunion – they had no idea how to preserve the loss for a lifetime.

Chuck the yesteryear playbook; we’re writing new rules to what women “of a certain age” can accomplish.

Myth 5: Losing Weight is Easy

Years ago — when I had my “moment of clarity” (habits first, then scale) — and began to lose in earnest, I never once thought, “hey, establishing habits is easy!” Let’s be honest, losing weight and preserving for the long run takes dedication and the use of super cool, modern tools to navigate our food-as-far-as-the-eye-can-see culture. Getting a college degree, becoming a great musician, losing and preserving for a lifetime: none of it easy. The main culprit who promotes the idea of “dieting can be easy” is the diet-cartel, the very people who have the most to gain in this arrangement.

Myth 6: Losing Weight is Impossible

It’s funny, but the group that tells us to lose forty pounds before a surgery are the same peeps who can’t really tell us how to lose the 40 pounds and certainly don’t know anything about how to create a forever-loss.

Myth 7: Losing Weight Has a Beginning and an End Point

If we’re being honest, we’ll admit that we once saw losing weight – or smart eating — as something “we did” such as, “I can’t wait to go off this diet so that I can have pizza again.”

Today we know that losing weight and preserving for a lifetime is what we’re shooting for. Learning how to live with pizza is the whole idea. I eat pizza two or three times a year and I keep it to one slice or if I want to eat more slices, I wrap them up and save them for the morning.

We no longer lose weight for the summer and gain it all back by the end of December.

We’re older, wiser and too tired to go along with the “weight loss is linear” myth that hogged all the limelight in the last century. Weaving smart, strong food habits into the very fiber of our being is the only way to a successful forever-loss. ♥

Pearl Two

Remember how we learned in middle school English to never — lol — use the words “always” or “never” when we write? Well, sorry Mrs. Garland, because here I go.

Do you want to know the one habit I never stray from? I always “Eat Before I Eat.” I never arrive at the dinner table, party, or restaurant hungry. Of course, I don’t show up full either, but you won’t hear me say, “I’m famished!!”

Here’s how to Eat Before You Eat: about thirty-minutes before a meal, have something easy like a handful of cherries, an open-face peanut butter with a touch of honey sandwich, carrots in hummus, a half-cup cottage cheese with grapes (one of my favorites), one banana and so forth. And if I’m driving to an event, I eat healthy snacks out of my adorable cold-tote.

Our mission: never begin a meal “starving”!

Taking the edge off our hunger by using the Eat Before You Eat tool is a massive game-changer because it puts us in the control-seat. No longer is the gorgeous plate of lasagna and crunchy garlic bread in charge.

Sorry beautiful food! Your spell over me is — poof! — gone.

Eat Before You Eat and your brilliant brain is back at the helm. ♥

Pearl Three

If you’d like me to include a bridge sequence just let me know in the comments below. This sequence is for all of us but especially new Thrivers:

Default Sequence

New Sequence

P.S. I’m not anti-scale. I think there’s a time and place to use a scale, but strong food habits are what will have your back for a forever-loss.

Pearl Four

This is our book-dessert slot. And this week I came up empty book-wise. So, I thought it would be fun to share one of my most favorite books ever. This book should be included in all middle and high school reading classes.

A Woman of No Importance: The Untold Story of the American Spy Who Helped Win World War II by Sonia Purnell tells a powerhouse of a story about an American woman who worked with England and became a spy behind enemy lines in WW2.

The author deserves all the accolades because Purnell tells a complex story and makes every chapter both riveting and scary. I’ll never forget the scenes when the Nazis are just inches from grabbing Virginia.

This book would make a wonderful gift for everyone, but especially teens and young women: it’s a testament to how much women are capable of. The only negative for this story? No mention of how Virginia was able to sleep at night behind enemy lines. Highly recommend.

Pearl Five

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”

Suzy Kassem

Have a fantastic week everyone!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Endless Summers

The Chocolate-Lovers Guide to Making Smart-Eating Decisions When We’re Losing After 50

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Pearl One

Of course, pizza was a pain, but it was nothing compared to the difficulty of relegating chocolate to my “twice a year only” list.

Hands down, chocolate is one of the best discoveries of mom-kind (you’re included too fur-moms).

Chocolate is like the sun that my awful days, snooze-fest days, and just day-days revolved around. In my life prior to “seeing the light” there was always a good reason to have chocolate. (And if you live near a See’s Candy you have my sympathies.) 

Too make a solid dent in my chocolate habit I did the following. Do all three at once and you’re good to go.

1 – I took Tim Ferriss’s advice to make one decision thereby eliminating hundreds more throughout the year. In other words, if you’ve decided to take a break from chocolate for a year, you won’t have to give careful thought when someone offers something with chocolate, it’s just a simple, “Thanks, but I’m good.” (This is the moment to pull out your cold tote-bag and eat from it. I’ve also found that Clif Bars go really well with coffee. I usually eat half, and eat the other half later.)

In my case, one year of giving up chocolate turned into forever. I have some once in a while, but on the whole, it doesn’t take me hostage anymore. Eighteen years into this, it’s not that the chocolate doesn’t call to me, it’s just that my “no thanks” has developed into a much stronger muscle.

2 – I customize a plan – in writing — for every moment of a holiday or an event that I know will feature chocolate. I used to plan to the minute, how I would handle every obstacle that came my way. (People themselves can pose an obstacle all on their own too, so make a solid plan if you’re hanging with this person.)

3 – I keep a running list on my kitchen cupboard’s inside door. I’ve meta-noticed that when I’m on the hunt for food in my kitchen, I’ll head straight for the high calories. But if I keep a list on my cupboard door of what’s available smart eating wise, I’m far more likely to say: “Oh, yeah! I forgot I had grapes, pineapple, baby yogurt, baby carrots dipped in hummus, hard-boiled eggs” and so forth.

I’m not saying that giving up a favorite food like chocolate is easy, but I am saying that with the right mindset it’s doable and completely worth it. ♥

Pearl Two

Back when I was heavy, I was so tired of it all. I remember going to every activity or event always mildly hungry. I’d head out the door to go shopping or the library and my mild-hunger of course would turn into moderate-hunger and, especially if The Scarfer was with me, we’d end up stopping at fast-food or hit the grocery store for junk-food.

Back then I truly assumed that sticking to my eating plan meant being hungry a lot of the time. Now I just feel sorry for all of us who grew up in the ‘70s and ‘80s.

  • I didn’t know about Eating Before You Eat.
  • Or always carrying a cold-tote packed in healthy food with an ice pack; taking it everywhere.
  • I hadn’t learned the habit of always keeping a Clif bar as back-up in my purse.
  • I was never taught that arriving to an event hungry would wake up my cave woman who’d assume that I was starving, take immediate control and begin her search for the highest calories around.
  • I didn’t see the connect between hunger and a natural drive, not to look for an apple, but to head for whatever “full-bodied” food I could get my hands on.

You and I are “unlearning” so much from the past decades like that being hungry is part of weight loss (it’s not), or hard work outs will make us thin (only if we’re a teen on the high school swim team) or that fasting was a totally legit way to lose weight (remember Oprah’s liquid diet from the ’80s?).

Having grown up marinating in the yo-yo diet culture of yesteryear means we have a lot of unlearning to do. We’ve learned that arriving anywhere hungry is a red flag. We can identify red flags and customize a plan for each red flag that comes our way. We’ve learned: make a plan for the red flag and watch that flag disappear. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Let’s do a chocolate sequence!

The Initial Sequence

  • Situation (be very concrete): The Scarfer brought home my favorite chocolate: Junior Mints.
  • Thought: omg, yum! But I’m not doing chocolate this year. Stupid, stupid Smart Eating Lifestyle.
  • Feeling: very irritated.
  • Action: I down the junior mints (that’ll show the Smart Eating Lifestyle. Ha!)
  • Result: After I eat the mints, I start beating up on myself and either spiral totally out of control immediately or tighten my eating to such a degree that I’d end up overeating anyhow.

It’s natural to often need a bridge sequence between your default thought to your chosen thought.

The New Sequence

  • Situation (be very concrete): The Scarfer brought home my favorite chocolate: Junior Mints.
  • Chosen thought: I immediately ask The Scarfer to put the junior mints into the highest cupboard so that I can’t reach the candy even with a step-stool. (I find that out of sight is out of mind.)
  • Feeling: Matter of fact and positive.
  • Action: I eat a cup of cold pineapple.
  • Result: I’m a happy clam. ♥

Pearl Four

Italy’s part in WW2 has always confused me. First, they’re with Hitler, but then they teamed up with the good guy’s side. This book-dessert is about an Italian teenager and how he helps the resistance in German occupied Italy. What makes this story so interesting is that it’s based on a real teenager who shared all of the story with the author. One of the best books I’ve read this year. Over 200,000 Amazon readers gave it 4.5 stars.

This amazing story is titled Beneath a Scarlet Sky by Mark Sullivan. You will devour this book-dessert.

Pearl Five

The greatest threat to success is not failure but boredom.” — James Clear in Atomic Habits ♥

Are you guys tracking? There are actually two kinds of tracking that I do: one, tracking and counting food at each meal. My notebook sits directly next to my fridge. And two, I track my scale’s weight for years now. To be clear, I didn’t get on scales — only at the pediatrician’s office — because I have a motto: Habits first, and the scale will follow. Give it some thought, because the motto will not let you down.

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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