Hello Thrivers!

If you have a question about something I’ve never addressed please just ask in the comments below or email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Pearl One

Jerry Seinfeld recently said, “Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you’re comfortable with.” He went on, “That (goes for) marriage, kids, work, exercise, not eating the food you want to eat. Find the torture you’re comfortable with.”

I love this wisdom because I take his point to mean, “be honest with yourself. Life is not easy. Pick what works best for you.”

While I don’t find preserving a large loss tortuous today, I certainly once did. When I was working hard to develop better habits, I would see something delicious and tell myself, “Noooo, that’s not how we’re living anymore. Those days are gone. I know, it’s not fun, but this is the reality. I’d rather fit into clothes than overeat the lasagna.”

I said a version of these thoughts to myself every time I wanted to step off the Smart Eating Path which was easily once a day. It was a huge help to know what to say to myself and how to respond when facing alluring food.

First, I didn’t let myself get overly hungry and second, food was no longer my playland for the times when I was bored, sad, anxious or angry.

Today, choose one new habit to embed. The one that seems the most potent to me is to finish a tiny dinner by 6 p.m. and take a great book to bed around 8. Read for two hours and then lights out. (Adding that if I’m actually hungry, I go back to the dark kitchen and half of a banana.)

Or make it a forever habit to track your food and add up points or calories. Tracking and counting is one of the best habits I ever instilled. If you’re not tracking and counting your food, start the habit today (remember that it’s only the first 16-days that are the hardest).

Or try giving up one food for the remainder of the year. This idea comes from Tim Ferriss who gave up bagels thereby “making one decision that eliminated one hundred more.” His point: if you give up bagels for the year, you just say “no thank you” the second someone offers a bagel. It’s passive-decision making, like passive-income but with a twist! ♥

Pearl Two

I love this exercise.

Think about a time in your life when you had the world by the tail and nailed a successful moment. Maybe it was when you passed that really hard licensing-exam. Or when you landed the job you’d always wanted. Maybe it’s when you got the diagnosis you didn’t want, but you survived chemo and radiation and rid your body of the cancer cells.

Pick a moment when you were super proud of yourself.

In your mind’s eye, make “the win” “really big, so big that that the image fills the whole room, and then imagine it over your roof reaching up to the sky.

A quick aside: I’m a nervous passenger in cars. I know it’s rude to back-seat drive, plus I don’t like it when someone does it to me. So, over the years I’ve gotten into the habit of seeing two angels in pink flying along over the top of our car protecting and loving us.

Back to our regularly scheduled program. Now take your super big “win” out of the sky and make it small, small enough to “put” the win into a ring or a bracelet or glasses or something that’s with you daily.

The idea is that each time you glimpse your bracelet, the beautiful thought of your big win returns flooding you with feelings of accomplishment.

This amazing exercise comes to us from the world of Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

I’m pretending to be this person. The situation comes from a novel I once read.

• Situation (something super concrete): I’ve lived in Manhattan for 20 years now. I love this city. We’re moving to a suburb for quality of life and safety.
• Automatic thought: I’m Sarah Jessica Parker, I’m not Mrs. Brady. Suburbs are cookie-cutter houses filled with cookie-cutter people living cookie-cutter lives.
• Feeling: Incredible sadness at leaving and revulsion for where we’re going.
• Action: I half-hardheartedly look at homes on Zillow.
• Result: I cry a lot.

New Sequence

• Situation (something super concrete): I’ve lived in Manhattan for 20 years now. I love this city. We’re moving to a suburb for quality of life and safety.
• Chosen Thought: I’m choosing to look at the move as an exciting new adventure. The dogs will love more room and the big backyard. I’m sure they have fun things to do in the suburbs. We’ll be safer and can visit the city anytime.
• Feeling: Happy that my pups will be happy. Willing to give this new lifestyle a solid try.
• Action: I find homes online that I can imagine living in.
• Result: When we visit the suburb to see the homes I’m honestly surprised at the beauty of the town. I hadn’t expected it to be so lush. And the post office and library are practically walking distance from each other. I’m getting a little excited. ♥

Pearl Four

Pearl four is space for me to share a book-dessert, but – ugh – of the several I’ve skim-read, zero have wowed me. I mean, they’re good stories. I would have finished any one of them, but they’re not at book-dessert status.

So, the book that I’m highly recommending is also not a book-dessert, but it’s a book I very much want to share with you called The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease. If you have children or teens in your life for whom you’re buying gifts, this book is a gem-filled treasure trove of incredible book recommendations. The first half of the book explains why reading aloud is so important for families, but the second half of the book is packed in incredible reads for ages 0 to 2, 2 to 5, preschool to first, 4^th grade to 7 and so on.

Because of two major moves, I homeschooled my two sons and dipped into this book almost daily. You’ll find classics along with newer books. I wrote in and dog-eared my copy. To give you an example of how the book presents titles:

The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes

Grades 3 – 6                            78 pages.                                   Harcourt, 1944

Then the book gives a short paragraph on what the book’s about and adds “related books” also with the authors’ names. Love, love, love this book. ♥

Pearl Five

Have a wonderful week! I’d love a follow on Instagram and Facebook

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Hello Thrivers,

We have new people –and  welcome!! – I’m sharing five super important posts to read. It’ll make these weekly posts a lot easier to understand. As for me, I’m re-reading these posts to brush up on my skills.

• Begin Here
• This Metaphor Is My Constant Companion as I Preserve My Weight Loss After Age Fifty
• Brownies for Breakfast
• 6 Pillars of Losing Weight After Age 50
• How to Conquer Your Evening Sugar Cravings

On with the show!!

Pearl One

Let’s talk stretch-goals. When we’re nurturing a stretch-goal it’s important to make plenty of room for it in our hearts and mind. I think that one reason people regain weight is that they never gave their heart and mind time to catch up with their new size. (Read twice; this last sentence is everything.)

The brain still tells itself that we’re an ugly duckling (not fitting in). Your brain hasn’t yet caught up to feeling like a swan. Give yourself as many swan messages as you can.

So, let’s say I want to go from 210 pounds to 180. As I’m slowly losing weight, I’m asking myself strong questions, developing smart habits, and learning success-based self-talk. We’ll do a deep-dive on the latter today.

I know this is the last thing anyone wants to hear, but slowly losing ten pounds (or less) and then “holding” (what we once called “plateauing”) is vital to your forever-loss.

Holding tells our brain, “Hey, we’ll be living at 200-pounds for a month, maybe more.” By holding at 200-pounds you haven’t freaked out your inner cavewoman who would otherwise assume that you’re in starvation-mode and rush to dunk you into the nearest vat of ice cream.

The first inroad a new idea or goal takes will be through our brain, right? We have a thought and the thought leads to a feeling.

Invite a New Size into Your World

As you’re losing weight or holding say to yourself throughout the day,“I’m living at a size-14 and it’s relaxing and fine.” “I can be a size-fourteen, everything is good and comfortable.” “Turns out, being at size-14 isn’t only for other people: it’s for me too!” (Start slowly: get comfortable with size-14 before you go further.)

• Then write these messages (about being a size-14) on 50 Post-its and stick the message throughout your day like on your bathroom mirror, wallet, steering wheel, laptop; get creative.
• Journal-write about the process of losing five to ten-pounds at a time, and then holding in between the losses. Challenge yourself to answer how do you feel at size-14? Answer in both the negative and the positive. Then get really specific and ask yourself specifically what is negative? What is positive?
• Double-down on eating a tiny dinner at 6 p.m. and — while everyone else is having birthday cake — you know that you’ll have yours by tomorrow by 9 a.m. with your morning coffee.

One Huge Change I’ve Made

There was a time when I didn’t understand how telling everyone that you’re living the Smart Eating Lifestyle could be a real problem; I didn’t realize that it could be detrimental to your early success.

I don’t say this lightly. For the first year or two of living on the Smart Eating Path, keep it private. It’s your personal information and it’s important that you don’t share it with the peanut-gallery (yes, I mean your immediate family, friends, and co-workers).

You’re embarking on a new mindset of losing and preserving for a lifetime, don’t share the news until you feel super comfortable. If you tell everyone about your new plan they may groan, “oh, no, not another diet” or “if it were going to help, wouldn’t it have by now?”

You don’t need their bad vibes. Just stay mum until you’re 100-percent confident about your new world. Credit goes to Mr. Jerry Seinfeld. He was being interviewed and responded to a question that he doesn’t show his jokes to anyone; he spends months crafting a joke before sharing one for fear of others’ negativity or lack of vision. Smart!

So, breathe in, “I’m 72 and it’s okay that I’m a size-12; (another breath) all is well. I’m fine. I can do this!!”  

Remember to remind yourself in every way possible: from this moment forward, you’re a swan, you’re a swan, you’re a swan. ♥

Pearl Two

I thought you might like to hear a goofball way I sometimes challenge myself: I’ll buy a package of baby tomatoes or petite carrots, and see if I can finish them that weekend.

Chunking down goals is one way to make smart eating a smidge more interesting.  I’ll repeat this quote because it’s so good; someone said, “I normalize the small wins as much as the big ones.”

I think of smaller wins being like, “I assertively asked my husband not to bring ice cream home for a while and he agreed.” Or, “I’ve acclimated myself to eat stir-fry veggies (Costco, frozen aisle by frozen strawberries) almost every night for dinner.” And of course, “I head to bed at 8 p.m. and sink into a book-dessert.” ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Former Sequence

I’m pretending to be someone I grew up with called Kim.

• Situation (something concrete) I grew up in a home circa 1920 (my dad, mom, brother and I in 2.5 bedrooms, 1 bath) in a wealthy suburb. Everyone I knew lived in large homes, some overlooking the country club’s golf course.
• Automatic thought: I have friends getting cars for their sixteenth-birthday. I don’t fit in here. I don’t belong. We don’t belong. I’m not important in the scheme of things.
• Feeling: Mortified for the big-home people to find out about our life. Unworthy, not confident.
• Action: I didn’t invite friends to my house. When everyone left for college, I become a secretary to lawyers.
• Result: My husband and I fight about money a lot and I cringe when he “acts poor” like questioning menu prices when ordering at a restaurant. I want to keep the story going that “we belong here.”

Of course, Kim would need more than one bridge sequence. Let me know if you want me to include a bridge sequences too.

Chosen-Thought Sequence

• Situation (something concrete) I grew up in a home circa 1920 (my dad, mom, brother and I in 2.5 bedrooms, 1 bath) in a wealthy suburb. Everyone I knew lived in large homes, some overlooking the country club’s golf course.
• Chosen thought: It’s true, I’ve grown up in a wealthy tax bracket and it’s been hard on me. But I’m going to make it. Maybe I don’t have rich parents, but I do have great grades just like my peers. I’ll be self-made: success will be sweet.
• Feeling: proud and ready to enter life.
• Action: When my friends started talking about colleges, I talked to my school counselor who told me about the Pell grant, about grants in general, and the ins and outs of school loans.
• Result: I went to Sacramento State and majored in law. ♥

Pearl Four

When this book came out in 2010 I didn’t read it because I assumed it was all medical and doctor-y stuff. Boy was I wrong. Normally I recommend fiction books as a book-dessert, but I occasionally include awesome non-fiction too like the Splendid and the Vile, because they’re written like a fast-moving novel.

Plus, I only recommend non-fiction that’s researched within an inch of its life. The great non-fiction authors make a point of saying that if anything is in quotation marks the person was actually interviewed or the quote came from a diary. Because there’s so much research involved, these authors can’t pump out a book a year.

That said, I highly recommend The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. Champagne for Ms. Skoot who knocked this story — that needed to be told – out of the park. If you’ve already read about Ms. Lacks, then you might want to try my favorite non-fiction: the Splendid and the Vile. Either way both are amazing book-desserts. ♥

Pearl Five

Have a wonderful week, everyone. And if you’re enjoying these posts, it would be awesome if you’d send it to a loved one!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

When was the last time you lusted for an apple? Food-porn is designed to ensnare us.

Hello Thrivers!

I hope your long weekend was a good one. If you’re brand new to the blog read Aunt Bea and then begin here. Thrivers seem to really like this post too!!

Pearl One

One afternoon I found myself thinking, “it’s too quiet”, so I put on jazz and then went in search of something horrendous to eat.

Because – in my heart of hearts — I always will default into food-porn.

But just as I’m opening the wrong cupboards, I hear the piano’s tinkle, tinkle, tinkle and thought “people who listen to jazz do not eat inappropriately.”

My interest in junk-food evaporated immediately.

And after 18-years of preserving my loss, I can promise you that I want to eat inappropriately at least once a day. So, what I’ve learned: when I start to daydream about food-porn that’s when I go into damage-control mode and tell myself, “If you’re pining for junk food, you’re merely hungry for food/food.”

Because the diet-cartel has long pushed the notion that using their particular product means that we’ll never want junk food again. Ever!!

Total urban myth.

Of course we want to inhale made-to-be alluring, engineered junk-food. The companies’ business plan includes creating enticing “food.”

As you’ve likely heard, they’re paying scientists to increase the “mouth feel” of junk food. Every time you open a package of cookies, remember that companies are actively working against your best interest.

Of course, there are various times in the day when I can walk by pizza and not blink, but if I haven’t eaten I might inhale the pizza. So when pizza is in your midst and looking quite tasty, eat a small, but powerful food: apple with peanut butter, hummus on toast, scrambled eggs with cheese, pineapple poured over cottage cheese (my favorite) and so forth.

Try this challenge for yourself: wait until you start pining for a donut and then consciously eat a small meal. After you eat your small meal, ask yourself how do I feel towards the donut now?

Still want the donut? Grab a handful of nuts. I’ve read that nuts may be one of the most powerful strategies for metaphorically squirting the donut with ketchup. (Which I highly recommend doing for real. The brain sees you squirting ketchup up on treats and is immediately put on notice that you’re serious-beyond serious-now.)

I’ll say it again for emphasis: fantasizing about junk-food is nothing more than you’re hungry for real food. ♥

Pearl Two

This wisdom is rooted in James Clears’ the Atomic Habits.

Clear tells us that to embed a strong new habit, we need to make the new behavior: obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying.

Two of these laws, obvious and attractive, encourage us to make our environment work for us and not against. In our case we want to make it annoyingly difficult to get our hands on junk-food and insanely easy to eat smart-food. Keep your kitchen stocked in your favorite smart food and prepare as much in advance as you can: hard-boil eggs, cook your protein, have your favorite fruit on hand (especially in the spring a summer).

The more prepared you are, the more small wins you’ll have.

There shouldn’t be cheesecake or pizza in our kitchen in the first place, but if you live with others who require treats, ask that the ultra-processed food – what we’re now calling junk-food – live in the highest cupboard where you can’t see or reach it (even with a stool). Hide cold treats in a brown bag that’s pushed to the back of the bottom shelf to the back.

I used to say this in jest, but it’s totally true: one perk of getting older is that we forget the treats in our kitchen if they’re out of sight.

Clear’s third law is “easy.” When you want to make losing weight smoother, a little less rocky, consider putting these ideas into place:

• Stay satiated. Hunger is not your friend. I have a much easier time of dismissing ice cream if I’ve just had a bowl of cereal.
• Keep several book-desserts next to your bed in easy reach ready to support you at 8 p.m. each evening. Giving up evening eating is tough, but you can make it a tad easier by having a stack of book-desserts at the ready

Clear’s last law: “make it satisfying.” This one is difficult because food is our satisfaction, but say this to yourself every day: most of us in our food-wealthy world struggle mightily with staying out of the junk-food.

Ideas to make losing and preserving after 50 satisfying. As you lose, visit your favorite thrift stores and buy in your new size (yes, even if you’re not yet at your preferred weight. Wearing your former size of clothes probably isn’t the best idea. When you go down a size, pick up new clothes for yourself at your thrift store and you’ll signal your brain, “Hey! I am sooo serious about this” (your brain needs to see you engaging in strong actions).

Big wins (like clothes) aside, I like to focus on small wins to keep myself in the smart eating game. For example I play a game with myself that if I do a,b, and c, I’ll get a new nail polish color, I’ll give myself an hour in the day to just read, in the summer I’ll lay-out at our community pool as so forth.

Somebody said “normalize little wins” and I couldn’t agree more.

I’m working on a house project right now that if I complete it will score me a small bottle of my favorite perfume (huge for me because most of the money goes to the house, my sons or our sweet kitty).

When you’re ready to develop one new habit (more than one is being mean to yourself), keep in mind that my favorite study out of England concluded that it takes 66-days to embed a strong new habit. But amazing news, it’s only the first 16 days that are the hardest. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Old Sequence

• Situation (something concrete): I heard a man on the radio say that when his dog dies it will “destroy me.”
• Automatic thought: I’ve lost too much in my life; I can’t take losing Lily.”
• Feeling: Heartbroken.
• Action: Eats comfort food.
• Result: Gains weight.

In real life, this man may need to make a bridge between the “automatic” thought and the “chosen thought.”

New Sequence

• Situation (something concrete): I heard a man on the radio say that when his dog dies it will “destroy me.”
• Chosen thought: Of course, it’ll hard when she passes. I’ll be so very sad. But I can do this. Taking care of my heart about a difficult time to come is imperative. Instead of stacking my losses, I’m developing a new habit to stack my small “wins” with Lily (like: I have a great vet. Win! Lily loves to swim and I take her to a pool once a week. Win. It’s on my Lily-bucket-list to take her to the beach next month. Win!
• Feeling: A little more balanced, a little less frantic at the very notion.
• Action: play a lot and do a lot with Lily and I’ll keep a journal of all the fun things we do together that I’ll read one day for comfort.
• Result: She’s with me now and life is good. When the time comes, I’ll be okay. ♥

Our brains are always listening to us. Don’t say “destroy me” instead say “it’ll be rough, but I can do it.”

Pearl Four

Light summer fun books. I highly recommend all three:

1) Is This Anything? by the GOAT, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld.

2) Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman.

3) The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson. ♥

Pearl Five

If you haven’t yet joined me on Facebook and Instagram, please do! And if there’s a topic you’d like me to address, I’m more than happy to. Just write in the comments below or email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

And just for some summer fun: send me pictures of your fur-kid and I’ll share the photo on here!

Make it a beautiful week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Hello All Thrivers!

And welcome to everyone who recently jumped onboard! This blog will make better sense if you first read Aunt Bea, but if you didn’t receive your copy feel free to email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com. Then your next best read is: “Begin Here” that also sits in the yellow ribbon above.

Let’s go!

Pearl One

Even back when I was a card-carrying member of the Totally Annoying Teenager club, I still thought my grandma was the best ever and I told her so often.

Her eyes would crinkle and she’d say, “You’re just looking at me through the eyes of love, my darling.”

Today we say “lens” not “eyes.”  

For example, my husband looks through the “fancy-bakery” lens every time we’re in a new area of our town; not to mention when we’re traveling.

One of my sons looks at the world through a video game and Marvel superheroes lens.

And of course I wear my “how can I eat smart food today?” lens.

It took time, but I finally gave up my very old “how much bad food can I get away with today?” lens.

Journal-Writing Gems

As you know, I’m a huge believer in the power of journal-writing as an affordable method of therapy, and this topic is ideal for mining the depths. Just pull out your journal – or buy a pretty one – and ask yourself these questions:

What lens would best support you on this trek up the steep mountain we’re climbing (losing after age 50). What is your go-to lens in life? Is the Eeyore lens used on the regular while your “I’m brilliant!!” lens sits dusty on the shelf?

Think of a time when your brilliance was on full display. That’s who you are. Write about bringing your “brilliant” lens into your daily life. Start by using your brilliant-lens for just one hour, then one morning, then a full-day, then a week and so forth. Learning to default to your brilliant-lens isn’t a one-and-done deal. If you really want to capture and use your lens, you need to consciously call on her daily.

Think about the most positive person you know. What type of lens does she seem to use on the regular? How would it feel to use this person’s lens for an hour or two?

What lens would serve you well for tackling a tough job (like cleaning the garage)? What kind of lens will you use the next time you’re feeling really blue?

What lens do you use in the morning? for lunch? dinner? on the weekend? Do you need to shift your food lens? (I sure did.)

When you’re ready to make a shift, make it slowly. Don’t expect yourself to shift from “people are mean, food comes to my rescue” lens to the “I come to my own rescue, food is fuel” lens overnight.

But – given time — you can totally make the shifts. Why do I say “go slowly? If we rush to develop a new habit we will awaken our cavewoman inside of us. She’s the one who tells us to buy two chocolate shakes, go home and crash on the couch in front of Hulu. Keeping the cavewoman quiet so that your hyper-smart prefrontal brain can go into action is the whole idea. Your prefrontal will send you the best lens for the moment. All you need to do is consciously ask. ♥

Pearl Two

I don’t remember where I heard this, but it’s not mine. The guy was saying something like, “always live with something to look forward to.” Isn’t that a cool idea? I’ll add: what we we look forward to can be small (sleeping under an electric blanket when it’s cold out) to big (a cruise vacation). ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). When we write a sequence about something happening in our lives, it helps us tap into our unconscious.

The purpose of sequences is to help us go from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Former Sequence

• Situation (something super concrete): I put on my cute shorts and they don’t fit.
• Thought: OMG, I’m so fat.
• Feeling: anger, misery, frustration.
• Action: Diet super hard for the next week, barely eat a thing.
• Result: Wanting to get out of “diet-hell” I then overeat just to feel human again. Cue: the rocky road ice cream.

Bridge Sequence (you might need more than one depending on what feels right to you in this situation.)

• Situation (something super concrete): I put on my cute shorts and they don’t fit.
• A chosen thought: “Oh no. But this time around, I might have an idea about how to get through not fitting into my shorts.”
• Feeling: Curious, but still doubtful that anything will work.
• Action: I put the shorts away for now.
• Result: I don’t beat myself up.

New Sequence

• Situation: (something super concrete): I put on my cute shorts and they don’t fit.
• A chosen thought: “I’ve so got this.”
• Feeling: Relieved and pleased that I’m actually using a smart-eating plan.
• Action: I go to my desk and take a good look at where I might be over-indulging in food-porn. Once I have a better idea of where the leak in the hose is, the quicker I can make positive change.
• Result: I work on strengthening my habits and within a month I fit into my shorts. ♥

Pearl Four

I’m not giving book reviews here, I’m only sharing books that I love and I think are perfect for a book-dessert. If you haven’t tried this tool, give it a go. Have a small dinner at 6 p.m. and take off for bed at 8 so that you have time to read.

Trust by Hernan Diaz. This big boy won several prizes in 2022 including the Pulitzer. I’m halfway through and it’s excellent. Five thumbs up. ♥

Pearl Five

You know how I was thinking about moving this blog to Monday or Thursday? Many of you emailed me privately and voted for Thursday. But I’m moving The Inspired Eater blog to Monday morning. One day I realized that Monday aligns well with stuff in my life. I care about you guys and I hope this move doesn’t cause a problem for you. And thank you to everyone who voted!

So, here we are on Friday, June 28. You’re reading the last Friday post today. Additionally I’ll post again this coming Monday, July 1: a two-fer! Pearl one is about how to deal with the long holiday weekend.

Have a wonderful weekend and I’ll see you on Monday!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Hello Thrivers!

Welcome to everyone who’s new!! If you haven’t yet received Aunt Bea just shout: Wendy@theInpiredEater.com. I’ll send her immediately.

And if you live in Smyrna and sent me a really nice email, please write back. I think my computer ate it!

Pearl One

From a former year’s post, but updated for today!

I thought we’d start today with wisdom from my teen-crush and yours: Mr! David! Cassidy! I plastered my bedroom walls in Tiger Beat David-pictures. He was “hot” before hot was cool.

We all got older and received TMI about Mr. Cassidy IRL. Turns out, we weren’t head over heels for David Cassidy, it was Keith Partridge we wanted the whole time. (Let’s just say that Cassidy did not grow up to be Ron Howard.)

But here’s the gift David left us. According to his daughter his last words were, “So much wasted time.”

It’s easy for me to write, let’s quit frittering our time away. But how do we stop frittering? It’s like surgeons telling us to lose weight. (Okay, but how?!)

Here’s my take: Life is hard. Sometimes annoyingly hard, other times tragically hard. And let’s be honest with ourselves that a default life is significantly easier than pursuing a dream.

It’s so much easier to crash on the couch watching Hulu, ice cream by our side, right? We’re being robbed of an awesome life by overdoing nap-life (nothing against naps, of course they’re fine when you need one).

But if we want to shoot for the stars and enjoy the incredible parts of reaping the rewards of hard work, we need to understand that a dream fulfilled comes via frustration, annoyance and feelings of “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Nobody has found an awesome life at the bottom of a bowl of ice cream.

Our most exciting plans usually take years to come to fruition; our biggest dreams require us to learn how to manage disappointment, irritation, and boredom.

Somebody – not me – said, “Winning is hard. Failing is hard. Choose your hardship.”

So, how do we stop frittering our time? First by acknowledging what we’re up against: losing weight at any age in our food-culture is insanely challenging.

But losing after age 50? Most will say impossible; that women over 50 just have to get comfortable with 10, 20, or 50 extra pounds. They shrug, that’s just life.

No, it’s not.

The ironic thing is that once we get the “massively difficult” part, the weight loss after 50 trek gets more workable. (Remember, when we call it a “part-time job”, we elevate how we spend our time).

So much wasted time?

Not on our watch. ♥

Pearl Two

Since we’re in the middle of summer travel, I want to share a healthy peanut butter packet that’ll breeze right through airport security and board the plane with you, no questions asked.

Called Justin’s Classic Peanut Butter Spread (they also make honey peanut butter spread), these babies come in single 1.5 ounce packets that again are small enough to keep airport security from pestering you. The packets are a little pricey, but the honey peanut butter spread is relatively inexpensive.

Here’s the deal, don’t cheap out on yourself. If you’re like me you spend on family, the fur-people, the house and so forth, but rarely spend on yourself. Even if you’re not a peanut butter person, purchase foods that you most love as you pursue your forever-loss. Yes, the fancy high-end dark chocolate is pricey, but losing and preserving after age fifty is seriously rough trekking. Keep your favorites in stock.

And – when you’re at home – the packets are just the ticket for packing in your cold-tote when you’re out and about.

As you know, one of my top tips for successful weight loss and forever-preservation is: always carry a cold-tote with you full of healthy bites so that you won’t – ever – be tempted by fast-food or the frighteningly unsafe grocery store aisles. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequences!

Old Sequence

• Situation (something concrete): “I’ve heard that now’s a good time to give up daily weigh ins on the scale.” (Unless you’re in preservation-mode.)
• Thought: “No way would that work for me.”
• Feeling: Mad.
• Action: I keep weighing myself twice a day (morning and evening) to see if I’ve “been good.”
• Result: Same as every weight result; I lose twenty pounds, but don’t keep the weight off.

Bridge Sequence

• Situation (something concrete): “I’ve heard that now’s a good time to give up daily weigh ins on the scale.” (Unless in preservation.)
• Thought: “Let me give this stupid idea time to think about. It appears to have worked for Wendy, but I don’t know. I think I could try it for a week or a month?”
• Feeling: Annoyed and reluctant.
• Action: First, I put my scale up high and out of reach, then I give eating well a “no-scale” go for a week.
• Result: Well at the end of the week, I gained a pound. I’m starting to understand that creating the right habits really – in theory – should keep the scale low.

New Sequence

• Situation (something concrete): “I’ve heard that now’s a good time to give up daily weigh in on the scale.” (Unless in preservation-mode.)
• Thought: The idea of “no scale, only habits” is starting to make sense.
• Feeling: Still leery, but hopeful.
• Action: I went a month not gaining, but not losing.
• Result: I allow myself leeway. I use the scale often, but put it away just as often. And I stopped weighing myself at night. (Progress!)

Takeaway: Living without a scale is like studying really hard for a test. You have no feedback for the longest time, so you stay focused on studying well. Finally, the test-day arrives and you don’t always get an A+, but you’ll take a B-without a problem. And this is how new thought patters are created. There’s nothing “easy” about any of this. If it’s hard, you’re right on schedule. ♥

Pearl Four

A Table for Two by the author who wrote A Gentleman In Moscow, both by Amor Towles. I’m just getting into A Table for Two but it has two of my most loved things: a favorite author and a wonderful beginning to the book. But if you haven’t yet read A Gentleman in Moscow start there. Book-dessert works, give it try. Eat something small around 6 p.m.ish and at 8 p.m. go to your room brush, floss, maybe a shower or bath and then dive into a phenomenal book. It can’t be the least bit dry. The book-dessert isn’t at full-throttle until the book is super juicy. ♥

Pearl Five

Make it the kind of weekend where you live for Monday-morning-you waking up thrilled!

I’d appreciate so much a follow on Facebook/theInspiredEater.com and  Instagram. And thank you! ♥

If you enjoyed this post, I’d love if you’d share it with a friend!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Hello Everyone,

Let’s jump right in.

Pearl One

Time to talk travel! It’s mid-June and every trip will throw its own special curve-ball our way, but here’s how to knock it out of the park. Today I’ll detail exactly how I prep to maintain my Smart Eating Lifestyle while on vacation.

As I’ve mentioned I’ve been a freelance family travel writer for 18 years. When I first started writing, I’d already lost the 55 pounds and there was no way I’d throw a monkey-wrench into my life by re-gaining pounds every time I took a trip. Even gaining just ten pounds here or there would add up quickly.

Smart Planning

Maybe one day we’ll have drive-thrus where we can order fresh strawberries and cold, ripe cantaloupe, grocery stores that make it easy to find the healthiest food quickly, and restaurants that serve sane, “we care about our customers” portion-sizes. For now, we have our culture: food-porn for as far as the eye can see.

You know how we cut back on frittering money away when we have a trip coming up soon? We may eat out less, adhere to no-spend weekends, and shell out as little as possible before our getaway?

Well, I do the same thing with my weight. I might cut back on food a week or two before the trip.
 
I also plan to the detail like a woman with her hair on fire. The plan is unique to each trip: a week in Hawaii’s plan looks different that a week on a cruise ship.

One

A week before the trip I organize my thinking. With firm kindness, I tell myself – at least every other hour for many days — that I’m living a smart eating lifestyle. I’m not on a diet. There’s nothing “to go off of” when I’m on a getaway. It’s a lifestyle, a lifestyle, a lifestyle.

Two

As you go forward, remind yourself that everything’s hard in the beginning. Once you get accustomed to travel-eating it becomes like riding a bike.

I write in my journal the many strategies I’ll use to maintain. Here’s an example of what my pre-trip writing looks like:

• I keep healthy and satiating snacks in my purse at all times on the trip; staying “full enough” is your go-to throughout your vacation.
• I manage restaurant food by planning. For example, prior to eating in a restaurant, I’ll google the menu and choose my plate in advance (those allergic to food items use this strategy regularly; no need to feel weird).
• I plan to eat a large breakfast, medium lunch, small snack, and tiny dinner while on the trip.
• When eating out at restaurants, I always “eat before I eat.” Meaning I have something small, but substantial before stepping into a restaurant. Does it “ruin my meal”? Yes, it does, Dad, but that’s the whole point.
• The eat before I eat strategy means that I travel with bananas, small travel-friendly packs of peanut butter, apples, granola bars (1/2 of a Cliff bar is a favorite of mine) and so on. I never allow myself to eat without curbing my appetite first with a small snack.
• I also bring a cold tote and ice-blocks and use the hotel room’s mini fridge/freezer. My goal is to always book hotels with mini-fridges but if I didn’t, I can usually rent a small frig from the hotel staff.
• Using a mini-frig means that I can eat half of my dinner entrée and take the rest back to the hotel in a doggy bag or Tupperware I brought from home. If I forgot ice blocks, I use the hotels ice machine. (Both baggies and dry-cleaning bags from the hotel are great for holding ice.)
• If I have dessert at dinner, I’ll only eat a bite or two, and then I’ll dump salt on the rest of it (lol, I’ve never used the salt-maneuver, but in a pinch, I’d salt and pepper the hell out of dessert).
• My real plan is to bring a dessert back to the hotel and finish it in the morning with my coffee. Here’s a post on why I eat dessert in the mornings only: Brownies for Breakfast. I’ve eaten this way for years and it absolutely keeps the pounds off.

Three

You and I have gone on and off diets for decades, right?

In the past when we’ve traveled, we’ve told ourselves that we’re going off our diet because we “deserve” to eat on a trip given “how good we’ve been all year.” That, in fact, we’re “not living” if we can’t sample the destination’s cuisine.

And this is how we’re playing games with ourselves.

Sampling cuisine is one thing, overeating for a week is something else entirely. I could argue that downing the bread basket before the plate of hand-made pasta arrives to the table, is ruining the experience of tasting fresh pasta.

But here’s the thing: it all comes down to how we talk to ourselves. It’s important to remind ourselves that we’re not “going off” anything. We live on a Smart Eating Lifestyle — period.

And the idea of “deserving” to — what? – overeat food? What you actually deserve is to be at the pant-size you most prefer and stay at it.

As for “not living”: we’re not allowing ourselves to really live when we don’t feel wonderful in our own skin.

But when you do come across a food-item that’s special to the region or extraordinary in some way, enjoy. Order a plate and plan to take the other half back to the hotel.

How I Do Fast-Food on a Trip

If I’m on the road and get hungry, I’ll google the closest Chick-fil-A. I always order a salad at Chick-fil-A (go light, light, light on the dressing). I love their “market salad” that’s a bed of beautiful spring mix topped with fresh apple, blueberries, strawberries, blue cheese crumbles, walnuts, and granola. I didn’t add the granola to mine. I only use the crumbled blue cheese like it’s dressing.

If there’s no Chick-fil-A around, I’ll stop at Taco Bell and get a bean burrito “al fresco.” One.

The whole idea is tide myself over until I can get to a kitchen and eat smart food.

Again, I make a new plan for every trip. I anticipate every speed bump and I usually don’t need fast-food because I packed healthy bites in my cold-tote (large or small).

For planes I keep two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with me in my purse. Yes, it’s a lot of calories, but airports are exhausting. You don’t want to get tired and hungry: pretty much ever. Tired + hungry = overeating that triggers an entire week of overeating. If you get tired and hungry, you’ve let yourself down. It should essentially never happen to you.

So, I plan before a trip, make adjustments during, and plan for re-entry back into real life. On the day we’re headed home I plan to have smart food available to me all day. So, if my scarfer loves to drive home with candy, I easily ignore it because I have sliced apple, a cheese sandwich and a small yogurt in a bag. When I get home I don’t overeat from the stress of travel because I’ve left something in the freezer for just this moment. Or because I’m a pineapple-nut, I’ll leave a can of my favorite brand on the counter to remind me to eat smart. When i get home, I immediately throw it into the fridge and eat half the can within about 15 minutes. Everyone will have their own “re-entry” food plan. ♥

Pearl Two

I didn’t use a scale until I’d reached my preferred weight, so when I was developing strong habits, I focused on strengthening my habits versus a number on the scale. If you really give it some thought, smart eating habits drive the scale down whether you’re eagle-eyeing the scale or not.

But if you’re married to your scale, let me share this important truth. Let’s say you’re watching your scale like a hawk, the scale bounces around especially when we’re holding (once called plateauing). On one morning the scale says, “167.” The next day it raises to 169. And on the third day it bounces back to 168. All of the bouncing may really be hard for you, so remind yourself often that weight bounces around just before it finally settles on one number. Once it settles on a number, let it stay there for a month or two. You want to give the cavewoman time to adjust to your new weight before you start to lose more. ♥

Pearl Three

Our Sequence Slot!

The Automatic Sequence:

Situation (something concrete): I’ve reached my preferred weight, now I’m terrified of regaining.

Thought: I’ve always re-gained lost weight. Always.

Feeling: I feel wobbly and out of control about what happens next.

Action: I eat junk-food.

Result: I feel gross having eaten stupid-food and am now even more afraid that I’ll re-gain my loss.

New Sequence with chosen thought

Situation (something concrete): I’ve reached my preferred weight, now I’m terrified of regaining.

Thought:  I tell myself: “we’re in a new century when we know so much more about keeping the weight off using habits. I need to stay focused on strengthening my smart eating habits. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.” Your chant.

Feeling: Calm.

Action: I eat grapes and cottage cheese for lunch.

Result: I ask my scarfer to keep treats up high and far from me where I can’t see or reach them. ♥

Pearl Four

One-thousand-percent loved The Real Americans: A Novel by Rachel Khong. It took a minute, but nine pages in, I was hooked. The characters are drawn as if they’re real people and the plot itself is outstanding. And the book has one of my favorite things: It’s a story set in the U.S. but is about the Chinese culture.

If you need an easy, but absorbing book, this read would be awesome for a long wait in the airport, on a plane, in a train, or if you feel like hanging out at the neighborhood pool. This is a definite book-dessert. ♥

Pearl Five

Have a beautiful weekend!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Hi Everyone!

We have new people on board – welcome again! — and I’d love for us to be on the same page.

The ground floor must: choose an eating plan that you love and then marry it. Switching up how we eat every year or two isn’t a recipe for our success.

Second-must: begin to track your eating in a little notebook you leave by the fridge with a good pen. Studies back this tactic, and anecdotally I’d never give up on the magic of tracking what I eat. I even track when I’m traveling.

If you’re new, have you had the chance to read Begin Here? It should be very helpful.

Let’s go!

Pearl One

I’ve been reading diet books of late and I’m a little miffed. There’s a lot of advice like “eat mindfully” and “speak kindly to yourself”, but then never give a whisper about how to do any of it.

Now, you might think, “Wendy is just bragging because she was able to do it.” No, as you know, I think that getting smug is the first step into a downward spiral. I will never be smug about losing the weight and preserving the loss forever.

I’m angry because there’s a massive diet-empire out there that has long led us to buy their product “that works.”

Except the product doesn’t work.

And then they blame us! Their customers!

Here’s what the diet-cartel needs from you and me: desperation so great that we’ll buy their product hoping for a “cure” to our frustration. They care about our success to the point of how it’s affecting their bottom line. That’s why there are only weight loss companies and no weight maintenance companies. The more successful we are, the less money in their pocket. Slick operation they built for themselves. ♥

Pearl Two

Let me share the specifics on what I did – in real life – to eat more mindfully. I didn’t start to eat mindfully/intuitively until I was well into my eighteenth year of preserving my original loss. I probably went overboard and could have started sooner; my suggestion to you is wait until you’ve preserved your loss for ten years before you try going it alone.

How to speak kindly to yourself? The whole idea behind transforming your self-talk is to progress slowly so that you don’t want trigger your inner cavewoman. She wound merely snort,“How ridiculous!! This is idiotic!!”

Remember that your cavewoman is the part of our brain that only wants to protect us from the saber tooth tiger She wants us to stay in her pajamas, watching the Kardashians on Hulu eating a couple bowls of chocolate- mint ice cream.

It’s our prefrontal brain that’s the smart adult inside our brain. The prefrontal wants to prepare and plan and maybe take sensible risks.

So, proceed super slowly.

On a day when your prefrontal brain is fully in charge: tally up how many times you’re mean to yourself in one hour, on a drive to work, and later, for an entire day. You might think, “I can’t do anything right” or you might actually call yourself names. Just tally up what you’re telling yourself at any given point in time to determine how often you’re mean to you.

Journal-write to these questions (most inexpensive form of therapy on the planet.)

• Why do I say “I’m fat and ugly” and not “stupid”? (Why do you use one word over another?)
• Am I overly critical of myself? Of others?
• Do people in my family of origin beat themselves up internally (I could tell that my dad did)?
• What are three paths I could take to be more positive towards myself?

Here’s how to take yourself to a better place. Let’s say you begin with:

“I’m so stupid” turns into

“I can be stupid, but sometimes I’m not” into

“Hey, I’m a human, all humans make mistakes” into

“I’m not so bad” into

“I can do this; it just takes time.”

As you work with yourself to increase your positive self-talk, just know that you’ll revert and call yourself names and – without any drama — merely note it and consciously substitute something positive for the negative word. Remember, positive self-talk is a process that just improves over time if you stay with it. ♥

Pearl Three

Our Sequence Slot!

Old Sequence

Situation (something concrete): We have a leak that is driving our water bill up to $700 a month from $200. My husband has looked for the cause, but can’t find it. Time to call a plumber.

Thought: Just great!! We don’t even know a plumber let alone afford one.

Feeling: Annoyed, like there’s one more thing on my plate.

Action: Zippo.

Result: More anger.

New Sequence

Situation (something concrete): We have a really bad leak that is driving our water bill up to $700 a month from $200. My husband has looked for the cause, but can’t find it. Time to call a plumber.

Thought (consciously chosen).  I can do hard things. If this little leak ends up costing a lot to repair, we’ll make it work. Going in, I knew that houses require maintenance.

Feeling: Resigned. Calm.

Action: Put a post on Next Door to see if anyone could recommend a plumber. The neighbors did have recommendations and the plumber was at our house the next day.

Result: The plumbing gets fixed — yes, the bill was large –, but no more mystery, sky-high water bills!

Pearl Four

My summer goal is to read nothing but funny books. The funny I’m currently reading is David Sedaris’s, Calypso He is a prolific writer and you’ll find all of his here. Apparently I didn’t start in the “right” place. Start reading him at his beginning.:Let’s explore diabetes with owls. ♥

Pearl Five

A summer challenge: during June, July and August vow to laugh — hard — every single day with yourself, other people or your kitty. It’s a fun resolution. I did this one year for the entire year and still remember how fun it was!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥