Candy has been a tough one for me this year, but I still haven’t yet raided the Halloween stash.

Pearl One

In 2010, my scarfer, twin six-year-olds, pup Ollie and I moved to the gorgeous state of Virginia in the U.S. We were so excited to be in a new state, new coast and have – after a lifetime in California – brand new experiences. All true, but also true:  I was in a mild, persistent state of depression every day for the first eight months.

I’m sharing the whole truth of the situation because I want you to know that you can stay on the Smart Eating Path even when circumstances are difficult. In fact, looking at ways to engage with our obstacles and not just drown them in ice cream, ends up making us stronger in the long run.

“Excusitis” is what the author David J. Schwartz calls a tendency to look for the excuse in his book The Magic of Thinking Big.  Excuses like “I’m bored of thinking about food all the time. I’m done!” or, “I have a chronic disease so forget smart eating for me.” One woman said, “when my grand kids visit, they want the junk-food at eye-level so it’s always at our house. I end up eating their leftovers!”

Hey, we’ll throw anyone under the bus looking for a good excuse.

Here’s what’s really happening: our cavewoman is throwing excuses at our prefrontal brain hoping one will stick. The cavewoman is trying to sell us on: “I’ll get back into it more seriously when I’m in retirement”, or “once I have a new part-time job” or “after Nick comes home from the Army and I’m not so stressed.”

The Key Takeaway

My point is that when I was losing and later preserving the loss, I didn’t let anything get in the way. Nothing came before my weight loss. I ran with the attitude of failure is not an option. I was on a mission and took my job very seriously. The same attitude came with me when i started preserving the loss.

To access your wisdom around giving up, meta-notice how you’re managing a particular situation and journal-write to these prompts:

• What’s happening – from big to small — in your life right now?
• Do you have your own back during difficult times?
• When you think about your life and what you’re dealing with do you downplay the  significance?
• Why did you want to join the Smart Eating Lifestyle in the beginning? Does your why need to be strengthened? Could it have gotten weaker while you weren’t watching?
• Have you ever unconsciously jumped off the Smart Eating Path for a bit of time? How about consciously?
• How many jumping off situations can you number?
• Can you see a pattern to the times when you jumped off the path? What do the times have in common?
• Do you tend to let “holiday eating” become a problem?
• If you need a reason to get off the Smart Eating Path, what are you needing, what’s happening in your life right now?

The plan is always to shift away from “life is happening TO me” to “I’ve made a decision about my smart eating life.” Once you’ve been preserving your loss for maybe five years (or more) a traumatic event could develop in your life and — because your habits are so strong — you won’t seek comfort in food. 🎃

Pearl Two

Women don’t like the word “aggression” paired with our name. We prefer to see ourselves as assertive, focused, kind and polite. But to lose weight after age 50 with the plan to preserve the loss forever, we need to bring our best mama-lion energy to our trek up the forever-loss mountain. 🎃

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Default Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): The Scarfer – he loves his nickname — leaves stuff on an empty kitchen counters or tables.
• Thought: OMG, can this person not tidy up after himself??
• Feeling: Total irritation.
• Action: Ticked off, I clean has much of his clutter as I can.
• Result: I’m mad, he’s confused and there’s still clutter as far as the eye can see.   

Chosen Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): The Scarfer leaves stuff on an empty kitchen counters or tables.
• Chosen Thought: I’ve started to think that the “clutter-gene” vs. “tidy gene” is built into us. Because I have two sons: one cluttery, the other tidy and yet they both appreciate a clean home. Really, The Scarfer is like the absent-minded professor and thinking of him in that term also helps to remember.
• Feeling: a deeper understanding about the clutter. Also meta-noticing that I give my sons more compassion about the clutter vs. The Scarfer.
• Action: We talk in kind tones about how to keep the dining room clutter down.
• Result:  Things a tad cleaner, and I’m a tad happier. 🎃

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

I have to say, one of the perks of getting older is that my memory is good enough that I know titles that I’ve read before, but can’t remember that story line. lol. So I can read and love them all again. If you haven’t read theses three Amor Towles’s books, you’re in for some great reading!

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles. I love novels that aren’t just an absorbing read, but also have a current of history living under the actual story. I turn the last page of an Amor Towles’ novel a better person or parent or friend; and definitely a more knowledgeable student of history. Holding its own with Gentleman is his second book titled Rules of Civility. Towles’s newest book Table tor Two a page turner of short — but really good — stories. 🎃

Pearl five

The middle is messy, but it’s where the magic happens.” 🎃

Brene Brown

Have a smart eating week,

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Journal-writing is a legit inroad to engaging with yourself. It’s almost like magic.

Pearl One

You want a new solution to an old problem.

Your mom and grandmother wrangled with it, your sister after having two kids is wrangling with it and every podcast I listen to is chit-chatting about it. Wrangling with our weight: everyone has a story to tell.

I believe that having a strong why can take us places.

Reach for Your North Star

Establishing an ironclad why is a powerful way to move our project forward. Why do you want to achieve a forever-loss especially if you have an over-eater at home and why now?

As a one-time therapist, I’ve always known about journal-writing, but while it had seemed fluffy-nice to me I’d assumed that it didn’t produce hard-core results.

Egg on my face.

You and I were never taught that we have a very valuable, sophisticated super-computer atop our shoulders called the human brain. You, me, everyone has the finest brains on the planet and yet this truism isn’t appreciated or even acknowledged in our world. We only stare in awe at Einstein or Musk.

In fact, it’s become a thing in our culture to call ourselves “ditsy,” “scatterbrained” or “a dumb blonde.” Take Princess Diana who was visiting a children’s hospital and told an upset child, “I’m thick as a plank” attempting to provide comfort. In context the comment made sense, but the media went crazy with the quote and forevermore labeled Diana “dumb.”

The human brain is a marvel of nature. Ask your brain for help as you go forward; I Here’s the best way I know of to get in touch with our unconscious.

Journal-writing Review

One powerful way to access your brain’s brilliance is to engage with your unconscious through journal-writing. And – drum roll please — the cost is only a beautiful spiral-bound notebook, a solid pen that works and your curiosity.

The “rules” for your journal are the following:

1. Plan to “free write” in your journal as we go forward on the Smart Eating Path. (Writing prompts to come.)
2. Ignore what your middle school English teacher said about grammar, typos, run-on sentences, and misspellings; in our journal all are encouraged.
3. Show this journal to nobody, it’s only for your private use.
4. Feel free to doodle, use different colored pens, write down favorite quotes and so on.  
5. Journal-write with consistency to help your unconscious feel more comfortable.
6. Write in your journal five times in a week is fine.

The key to free-writing is that your unconscious needs to trust that you won’t laugh or sneer at what she reveals. She needs to understand that her thoughts will be respected and valued. Once she sees proof that you’re one-hundred percent in watch as the gems spill from your pen onto the page.

To begin identifying your why give the job to your prefrontal-brain And don’t assume that you need to come up with a deep reason overnight for wanting a forever-loss. Take your time, let your mind go and free-write to the following:

• What strengths do you bring to any endeavor?
• Do you remember a time (can be on any topic, not only food and weight) when you were super motivated and crushed it?
• Can you identify what drove you to success that particular time?
• Think of a second time when you were outrageously successful. Why did you pursue success as hard as you did? In your mind and in your journal, “stack” the two spectacular memories. Memorize the stack.
• In general, how do you keep your momentum during the “messy middle?
• If someone were to call you obsessive, what are you obsessive about?
• What is the “fluffiest” reason you want a forever-loss?
• What’s one of the deeper reasons?
• What do you aim high for? Low for?
• Would it be catastrophic if you don’t lose/preserve at this point in life? Why or why not?
• How strong is your why? How can you strengthen it?
• What does “immersing” yourself in your why mean to you?
• Who/what means more to you than anything in the world and how are they connected to your forever-loss?
• And from Mark Manson: what pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?
• Why now?  ♥

Pearl Two

Champagne-problems, I know, but can we talk hunger for a moment? I don’t think our world talks enough about hunger and how to deal with it. For example we’re not taught how to work with our stomach. In school we never sat through Managing Your Hunger 101.

So, here’s what I want to share with you. Yes, I’m a little ahead on this trek up the Matterhorn, but make no mistake, I’m still on the same trek as you.

Truth is, I couldn’t have written this post just a few years back. Yes, I’ve preserved my loss for eighteen years now, but I didn’t realize that I was engaging with my stomach in a whole new way. It’s kind of like when a young person gets her first pair of glasses and says, “I can see the leaves on the trees now.” True story.

The longer I preserved my weight the more I’d know whether I was faint-away hungry, bored-hungry, mildly hungry, moderately hungry etc. I’d been having conversations with my stomach and had no idea.

And you know what?! I can even tell you when I want something sweet versus savory, and what kind of texture I wanted: creamy or crunchy. (I LOVE a thriver’s idea to mix Grape-Nuts into yogurt Thank you C!)

Also I can actually — you won’t believe this — feel a touch of hunger and not stampede to the refrigerator!

My point, whether you’re actively losing or are now preserving, begin to engage with your stomach. See if you can identify when you have pass out hunger, mild hunger, or need a bite right now hunger.

It took me well over a decade before I could listen carefully to whatever my stomach was trying to tell me, so be patient and take it slowly. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Automatic Sequence

I’m writing as if I’m a client I had years ago.

• Default situation (something super concrete): I’ve started a small business.
• Immediate thought: I’m not loving work each day and haven’t made any money which makes the effort even harder.
• Feeling: Deep sadness.
• Action: I keep plowing through the work, but my heart isn’t into it at all.
• Result: More days and nights of me talking myself out of continuing. I really want to bail and knowing me, I will.

New Sequence

• Default situation (something super concrete): I’ve started a small business.
• Chosen Thought: I tell myself to take a deep breath and then to write in my journal about the messy middle and how I’ve reacted to it in the past.
• Feeling: Hopeful.
• Action:  I put reminders to myself on my desk that nobody likes the messy middle. Through journal-writing I have a deeper understanding of why the messy middle has been such a deal-killer in the past and how I can steady my ship in this current storm.
• Result: Having the deep understanding of my reaction to the messy middle will help me to sail through it. I continue on with my small business. If I hear myself saying, “Lets just throw in the towel” I pointedly tell myself, “there’s the messy middle troll annoying me again.” At that, I send her packing. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

I thought these would be good for Halloween. I read the first book years ago and fell in love with Alice Hoffman’s writing. Everyone did, I’m fairly sure this is the book that put Hoffman on the map.

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman is a marvel of a read. The woman can write. If you missed it when if first came out, Practical Magic having its 25^th anniversary this year. Practical Magic was the first in a trilogy. The second, The Rules of Magic: A Novel and Magic Lessons: the Prequel to Practical Magic. ♥

Pearl Five

 
“You don’t need to be helped any longer you’ve always had the power.”
Glinda the Good, The Wizard of Oz ♥

🎃, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

3

Pearl One

I’d hit bottom and had a choice: I could fall into the black abyss of frustration or I could go “butterfly.”

I hit my own version of bottom in the late ‘90s. I was at my heaviest and was just done. I’d lost a little weight for my cousin’s wedding and – while I know this is a tired cliché – when I got a load of the family wedding photos it looked like someone had inflated my arms, legs and cheeks like balloons using a tire pump.

It just wasn’t me. I’d hit my version of bottom.

And the beauty of hitting bottom: you can either fall off the edge into the black abyss (give up and continue eating and growing, eating and growing etc. etc. ), or go through a metamorphosis.

I chose the metamorphosis route.

My brain was fed-up and calling BS on my lame insistence that silly diets or daunting fitness plans would ever work.

Because they don’t.

The deepest regions of my brain knew the unvarnished truth. I needed to stop acting innocently baffled – “I’m not sure why I keep gaining. The dryer must be shrinking my clothes” — and align myself with reality.

No more believing in lollipops and unicorns. It didn’t matter if I had an expensive Peloton in my bedroom or a membership to a five-star fitness club. It didn’t matter if I did the Marie Osmond or the Kirstie Alley plan (wait, aren’t they the same?), deep down I knew.

It was time for a major overhaul in how I dealt with food.

My BS days were over.

Don’t Ask What Your Smart Eating Plan Can Do For You

Here’s the thing: none of the eating plans like WW, Nutrisystem, slow carb, Jenny Craig, Noom and so forth “work.”

You work them.

Does it sound like I’m merely splitting hairs? Let me be clear: there’s a ginormous difference between “hoping” for success on such-and-such diet versus using your preferred food plan as a powerful tool to create a forever change in your life.

Ask What You Can Do For Your Smart Eating Plan

After hitting bottom and committing to a forever eating plan (in my case, Weight Watchers), here’s how I continued to take the reins over the size of my body:

• I committed to a daily food journal. Almost two decades later, I still keep a daily journal of what I eat.
• I read and read and read everything I can find on Big Food so that I can play better defense with an industry solely in it to create abundant profit. Big Food doesn’t care about you or me. That’s just the line we’ve been fed all these many decades. The companies pay ad people top-dollar to create feel-good campaigns that glorify the fun of junk-eating and who are only in it for the billions. It’s our job to recognize the reality as we shop.
• I stopped using food and food-porn for entertainment.
• In my preservation years, I’ve made a conscious decision to get more involved with my favorite things in life that don’t come with calories like my sweet animals and books that I can’t put down. I love listening to specific podcasts. I love to ride my outdoor recumbent trike. Sometimes I even like cleaning the house and making it cozier.
• Almost forgot the wild birds. I love feeding the wild birds and sitting outside with coffee every morning watching them eat. (Have to add: I didn’t mention my kids because it’s a given that they’re my first and last thought of each day. Plus, they’re twenty-one now and don’t want to be my favorite thing at the moment.)

Journal-write to these two questions: What are your favorite things in life? And how can you turn up the volume on each? I understand that eating is fun, but how can you shift towards having a great time without food? 🎃

Pearl Two

Hey! If you’re ready to give up ice cream and cream cheese with little effort, this book is for you. Ultra-Processed People: The Science Behind Food That Isn’t Food by Chris van Tulleken is an awesome intro to what we call “food” and how it’s made. The chapter on ice cream is worth the read all on its own. Same with cream cheese. The Scarfer tried to put cream cheese on a bagel for me the other morning until I went apoplectic on the poor guy and put a stop to what he was doing. I highly recommend this book.

Another book that I 3,000 percent recommend is Magic Pill: The Extraordinary Benefits and Disturbing Risks of the New Weight-Loss Drugs by Johann Hari. The author does a deep-dive into the good and the bad about the new weight loss meds.

It’s written by a journalist who wanted to lose weight himself so as the book opens we see Hari go on one of the medications. Hari stays amazingly balanced and fair throughout his research; he doesn’t take a position on either side of the medication debate. One more plus: he’s not boring. Some nonfiction books can drag, his does not.

These two books aren’t being included as book-desserts because while they’re super illuminating about their topic, they serve up good information rather than a compelling story. Still, they’re both fantastic.🎃

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Default Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): We have ten weeks until Christmas.
• Thought: I think about pasts Christmases and all the work I had to do.
• Feeling: Dread.
• Action: I’m immobile.
• Result: Nothing happens and I eventually end up rushing to get everything handled before the big day.

Chosen Thought Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): We have ten weeks until Christmas.
• Thought: If I plan now, I can spread out the biggest jobs.
• Feeling: I think that with planning this is workable.
• Action: I sit down to write a plan of the many things I want to do.
• Result: I write my plan and get on with it.

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy!

The Girl Who Saved the King of Sweden: a Novel by Jonas Johansson. This guy is one of my favorite “feel good” authors. His dry wit is unparalleled. I actually reread his books because I see new jokes the second time around. If you’ve already read The Girl Who Saved, definitely read Sweet, Sweet Revenge, LTD. More dry wit with a story that will stay with you. I often see a book title and remember loving the story, but can’t really remember the plot. Not the case with Sweet, Sweet Revenge, LTD. I remember it well because the story is funny and so well told. Both books – all of Mr. Johansson’s books – are knock out book-desserts. 🎃

Pearl Five

“The most important thing in life is to stop saying ‘I wish’ and start saying ‘I will’. Consider nothing impossible then treat possibilities as probabilities.” -Charles Dickens 🎃

I’m so curious: are you currently working to embed a habit? I’d love to hear in the comments below what habit you’re currently working on. I always keep in mind the study out of England in 2009 that concluded it takes sixty-six days for our new habit to install itself into the automatic part of our brain. The first two weeks can be the hardest. if you’re at an obstacle while on the Smart Eating Path, always default to planning. Planning will have your back every time.

Have wonderful week!

🎃, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Pearl One

Before I had kids, I thought I was one slick-chick for managing to avoid Halloween candy entirely. I was all, “pshaw, what’s the big deal?”

Then I had kids.

I don’t have little guys anymore, but I have a dedicated scarfer under my roof who hauls home heavy boxes of full-size candy bars from Costco.

Every. Year.

He wasn’t raised with a ton of money and he remembers a time when he was trick-or-treating and someone passed out full-size candy bars. The kindness made a huge impression on him and he determined that one day he’d pass out full-size candy bars too.

My hope is that he’ll give them all out to the neighborhood kids, but he buys so much that we usually have leftovers. So to this day — 18 years into preservation — I ask him to hide the candy from me.

Here’s more of how I preserve my weight loss while living with a man who still eats like a kid:

• I’ve learned that hunger + grocery shopping equals a very scary scenario. If you haven’t yet developed the habit of always having your cold-tote with you, now is the time. Put an ice block into your cold-tote and add a yogurt, baggie of red grapes, petite carrots, sliced apple and so forth. Your brain needs to see you in action like packing a cold-tote with healthy snacks. Our brain is always watching what we do. We want our brain to see us spit a cookie into the trash that doesn’t taste that great. When our brain sees us spit out a cookie we’re telling our brain: I’m insanely serious about losing.
• Your cold-tote will save you calories and money otherwise spent on fast-food.
• When you shop stay entirely out of the candy/seasonal aisles. Don’t tempt yourself by even looking in that direction (that’s how the store gets us). And you’re already habituated to staying out of Costco’s bakery and candy aisles, right?
• If you love handing candy out on the evening of Halloween, buy it as late in the month as possible and only buy candy that you don’t much like. For example, I can hand out gum drops or any kind of sticky candy that I worry will hurt my dental work.
• What if you love all candy? What if you want to stop reading and eat candy right now? Wanting treats is merely a sign of hunger. You’re hungry. If you need something quick, have an apple or a small bowl of cereal. If you haven’t yet tried this tip, try it. It seems too simple to work. And yet it totally works.
• If you love the holiday itself, invest in other fun ways to have Halloween in your life, like putting a beautiful fall wreath on your front door. Or dressing in a costume to hand out candy. (One of my sons wears his dad’s old Darth Vader costume to answer the door. It’s hilarious!)

The most important thing: Halloween occurs on just one day of the year. Don’t stretch the holiday into weeks of eating candy. If you need a costume for this coming Halloween, go with Wonder Woman. Not only do you deserve it, but it’ll be a really fun memory for the coming years. We’ve so got this! ♥

Pearl Two

Listening to a podcast the other day, one of the featured guys said, “I used to be “coach-dad” guy,’ (he coached his kids’ teams) but now that the kids are grown I’ve decided that I’ll be “very round, but super friendly guy.”

He’s talking about identity and how we see ourselves. James Clear in Atomic Habits addresses this very thing when he writes:

“Once you’ve adopted an identity, it can be easy to let your allegiance to it impact your ability to change. Many people walk through life in a cognitive slumber, blindly following the norms attached to their identity” like:

• I just can’t get up early in the morning.
• I’m very impulsive (and rarely stop to think things through).
• I overeat. It’s just who I am and what I do.

Clear’s point is that we were saddled with labels by other or our even our own selves. These labels are stories that we tell our brain like “I’m bad at math” and if we hear the story long enough the negative thought becomes a part of who we are with ourselves and the world.

What we tell ourselves on the regular day-in and day-out veither erodes our sense of self-worth or it supports who we are as a person reaching for a higher level of living.

If I’m over 50 and I tell myself two or three times a day, “Women can’t lose weight after menopause. We get a little menopause-tummy, and everything goes downhill from there. My mom, my grandma, and my great-grandmother all ballooned after age 50. It’s just a fact of life.”

In your journal write about the regular thoughts that plague you. Deconstruct the story and see what it would be like to try on a new label. So instead of,“I’m a miserable failure at keeping my weight off” try practicing, “I’m human and am getting the gist of habits first, the scale will follow.” ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Default Sequence

• Situation (something concrete): I stopped working out.
• Thought: I’ve always hated exercise.
• Feeling: Irritated.
• Action: I overeat.
• Result: Back into the same old cycle.

New Sequence

• Situation (something concrete): I stopped working out.
• Chosen thought: I’ve stopped for two weeks. I’m just getting back on the bike as if the two-week blip didn’t impact anything. Second thought: just do the bare minimum.
• Feeling: Wary, wondering if just picking up where I left off will actually work.
• Action: I ride my indoor recumbent at levels six and seven for 40 minutes. I also do two planks and stretching.
• Result: I’ve been successfully riding my indoor recumbent six days out of seven for 16 weeks now! When I ride the bike I distract myself by scrolling Instagram. Very pleased with how life is coming along in the work out department. “Doing the bare minimum” really helped me to get back on the bike and then to raise the “bare minimum.”

The key piece that changed my entire trajectory was choosing my new thought: Get back on the bike. Let it go that you haven’t rode in two weeks. Just get back on the bike and do the bare minimum and you’ll flourish from there.

This is exactly how I feel about weight loss: just get back to it, no matter if you’ve overeaten for a month, just get back on the path. ♥

Pearl Four

Do you want to hear the most astounding story that happened in 1971? I was seven at the time, but hadn’t heard about the story likely because my parents didn’t want me to refuse to ever board a plane again. But decades later I can’t believe I’ve never heard Juliane’s story. The book is When I Fell From the Sky by Juliane Koepcke.

Juliane’s story of survival is astounding. You’ve got to read it. ♥

Pearl Five

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” ♥

Henry Ford

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Pearl One

Whether we’re actively losing, preserving or holding our weight, we can all see the beauty and brilliance in creating a fall playbook. (These smaller playbooks are necessary as you continue to embed your smart eating habits.)

We’re nearing the end of September and now is the time to sit down with your journal and have a chat with your autumn “future-you.”

You might ask, which future-me? You decide. I might choose Thanksgiving future-me or December 1 future-me. It depends on how far out you want your focus to be. Years ago, I like to “chunk down” the season: So now I’ll write a Nov. 1 future-me, a Dec. 1 future-me and a Jan. 1 future-me. The plan is to ask yourself on such-and-such date, how do I want to feel and think when I first wake up?

Discovering future-you’s thoughts, wants and dreams will fuel your experience today and over the next coming weeks. It’s a motivating tool-on-steroids.

Let’s say that I choose Sunday, December 1 as my future-me. First, I put into place a “fall puzzle.” If you need a refresher on what a puzzle does for our long-term “why” check out this link.

Creating a seasonal puzzle to compliment our larger overarching puzzle is a great way to chunk-down the year. (Other ways to chunk-down include monthly, weekly or even daily puzzles all working in tandem with our larger overarching puzzle.)

Fall is a super fun time of year food-wise — and the food-pushers are on the prowl — which makes our trek more tricky but learning how to navigate the holidays is what living the Smart Eating Lifestyle is all about.

So, I pull out my journal and write answers from December 1-me’s perspective.

I ask December 1-me is: “why?” Why should I care about living the Smart Eating Lifestyle from mid-September to the first of December? ______________

I’m so happy that I _______________.

I’m blown away that I ______________.

No question, it was hard but I was able to ______________.

It may be small, but I’m thrilled that I _______________.

I want to thank you for _____________________.

And you made things work out beautifully.

The one thing I wish I’d told you ____________________.

If nobody else tells you that I’m super proud of you for ________________________.

The more we engage with active-planning the better we wield this superpower tool.

We’ve so got this. ♥

Pearl Two

Did you know that Starbucks started the pumpkin spice craze over 20 years ago with their pumpkin spice latte (PSL)? Did you also know that the grande PSL clocks in at 390 calories, 50 grams of sugar and 14 grams of fat? Yes, our beloved drink comes from the food-porn side of town. (For reference, their chocolate croissant is 300 calories.)

If you’ve ever had the high-octane PSL, it’s delish, but only because it’s packed in sugar, fat and calories.

So, that said, here’s how we make the skinnier (and more inexpensive) PSL version.

• To begin, don’t enter the locale until you first have a small, nutritious bite (eat-before-you-eat is always our first go-to).
• Then order a regular latte.
• Ask for one to two pumps only of the pumpkin spice syrup (forgoing their automatic four pumps).
• Rather than their 2% milk, request a milk alternative like almond, oat, or soymilk.
• Omit the whipped cream completely. You guys, Starbucks makes their recipe with heavy cream and four vanilla syrup pumps.
• Request “cold foam” which eliminates the sky high calories.
• Keep this “recipe” in your purse in case you one day find yourself in a Starbucks. The main takeaway about the PSL and likely all of their holiday drinks: watch out for the whipped cream and sugary flavored syrup pumps.
• And if you’re in the actively losing weight stage, research Starbuck’s menu online well before going into the store to order. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Default Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete) I got on the scale this morning and it’s up four pounds.
• Thought: THIS ISN’T WORKING!!
• Feeling: Rage, emotional self-abuse, sad.
• Action: tired of the whole thing. I overeat because what does it matter?
• Result: I return to the yo-yo dieting lifestyle.

You may need more than one bridge to shift to the new chosen thought.

Bridge Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete) I got on the scale this morning and it’s up four pounds.
• Chosen thought: I’m giving this “positive self-talk” thing a try. I can consider the idea that getting angry and abusing my self does nothing for my eating and weight situation.
• Feeling: Still angry, but I can see Wendy’s point.
• Action: I eat a bagel heavy on the cream cheese.
• Result: Having had a king’s breakfast, I eat a moderate princess lunch, have two snacks though the days and eat a tiny dinner at 6 p.m.

New Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete) I got on the scale this morning and it’s up four pounds.
• Chosen thought: For a flash, I felt like throwing the scale through the window, but within seconds I was feeling curious and thought, I know how to course-correct.
• Action: I’ve shifted from somewhat angrus about how my smart eating plan is going. I ask myself, which habit needs strengthening? Do I need to go to the store for “support food” (my favorite yogurt, fruit), or is something else causing a lot of stress? Do I have a solid plan to help me handle stress that’s not food-based.
• Result: (if I’m actively losing weight) I pull out my journal and begin to understand that it’s probably time for me to “hold” rather than actively lose. I then write about how I can better “hold” so that my body can get used to my new weight.
• Result (if I’m “holding” or preserving my weight loss): I pull out my journal and ask myself which habits should I strengthen? Which food should I buy? And finally, how am I falling into an old pattern of losing weight only to gain it back again? Do I have automatic assumptions about preserving a loss? In hte past, what was your experience with the old “maintenance?” Write about needing to “unlearn” old maintenance thoughts.

Adding that look at how engaged you are as you continue to preserve your loss. You’re engaging with the situation versus eating through it. ♥

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy.

Once again, every book I skim-read fell short this week. So, the two-book series that I’m highly recommending these two novels one that spent eons on the NYT bestseller list and the second heavily anticpated:

Brooklyn: A Novel by Colm Tóibín has written “one of the most unforgettable characters in contemporary literature” (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette).

Long Island: a Novel. Tóibín is simply one of the world’s best living literary writers.” —The Boston Globe.

I’ve been told these are “don’t miss” books. ♥

Pearl Five

Let the master thought “I will succeed” dominate your thinking.” ♥

David J. Schwartz

Now is a perfect time to tell your family please no food gifts for the coming holidays. If you’ve enjoyed this post, I hope you’ll share it with a friend.

Have a wonderful week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Pearl One

A Thriver asked, “is it okay that I’m trying to lose weight for a wedding? I can’t seem to get motivated otherwise.”

My thought is absolutely yes. I mean, whatever works. If “leapfrogging” towards a “baby goal” would help, I say go for it. I’ve often leaped from a wedding to a vacation and so forth.

But.

The problem arises when after the wedding you immediately fall off the Smart Eating Path and go food-bananas. Yes, I leapfrog, but I always remember the larger plan and that is to keep my prefrontal in charge of my show.

Here’s the idea:

The mental work is around how your prefrontal brain engages with your cavewoman.

If before the wedding the prefrontal white-knuckles the cavewoman into submission making it seem that the prefrontal “won” (by getting your body to a lower weight) the irate cavewoman will go berserk during the wedding reception itself (cake!) and possibly for weeks or even months after.

How to avoid the cavewoman’s meltdown? “Make space” for her before the wedding. Let her speak through your journal-writing and ask her strong questions like, “how can I make the next few weeks sane for you?” There are ways to to keep her happy without using food (think: a mani/pedi, a new dress, a new subscription to Spotify etc.).

And one way you can absolutely keep your cavewoman napping is having your “Brownies at Breakfast.”  Write up smart eating plans for the day of the event and then write a second plan detailing how you’ll handle the first week after the wedding, the second week after and so on. Detailed planning is always our secret sauce.

The more you plan, the more chill your cavewoman. Planning includes making a list of your favorite smart food and having it on-hand in your kitchen for the day of and the week after the wedding.

Getting ahead of your cavewoman’s potential meltdown puts your prefrontal back in charge making smart choices that will last you a lifetime. ♥

Pearl Two

Remember “Ma” from the Golden Girls? For our generation, “Ma” was your standard-issue “grandma.” Turns out, the little old lady grandmas from yesteryear have morphed into Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton and just recently Joy Behar on The View (after having face work) who said, “This is what 80 looks like now” and immediately went back to the topic of the day.

So, what does this have to do with us?

My point is that times are changing and staying hopeful is important to maintain as we go forward. It’s okay to get a little excited that we’re in the middle of having an entirely new experience with food, health and weight loss. We know so much more today about how habits are established, how positive self-talk is like the wind at our back, and we’re learning how to better live in our food-on-steroids world.

Today we know that getting down to a specific goal weight is merely the beginning of our trek; that the real work begins as we transition into preserving our loss forever ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

I’m writing this sequence as if I was the person experiencing a problem with drinking.

Original Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete):  I drank chardonnay last night. Two glasses.
• Automatic thought: So what? I’m human. Lots of people want to take the edge off.
• Feeling: A sense of false confidence. Defensive.
• Action: I stop going to AA.
• Results: Two glasses of chard turned into five.

New sequence

• Situation (something very concrete):  I drank chardonnay last night. Two glasses.
• Chosen thought: I made the wrong move. But I won’t beat up on myself. I’m only human.
• Feeling: a little sad.
• Action: on calendar plan for next AA meeting.
• Result: I got myself to an AA meeting and I feel stronger and the AA magic begins it’s good work. ♥

Pearl Four

Because books love us and want us to be happy

This week I read the first few chapters of many books and while many of them were really good, they weren’t what I’d call book-dessert material. So for today’s book selection, I’ve reached into my past.

It was 2011 and my two boys were five days away from turning eight. We’d moved enough times that homeschooling seemed the smartest route to take and an enormous part of homeschooling involved a lot of read-alouds. We plowed through at least one or two masterpieces a week like Charlotte’s Web, Half Magic, The White Giraffe, The Saturdays and so many more.  Kid-lit does not get the attention it deserves.

So, there I was in 2011 and a new book called The Help was just out. And, my favorite thing, at sentence one I was pulled into the story. To me, it was so good that I couldn’t stop reading. It made a serious dent in my homeschooling time with the kids. So once I was done with The Help, I made a hard and fast rule for myself that I could not read my adult books until I was relatively done with kid-lit. And they lived happily ever after. ♥

Pearl Five

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” ♥

Dale Carnegie

I love this quote because it’s certainly true in my life. I will actually ride my indoor recumbant bike if I can scroll through Instagram.

Have a wonderful week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

Keeping our toddler emotional brain chill is all about planning.

Pearl One

You’re mentally exhausted, bored, and sick of the whole “lose weight over 50” thing. It’s taking way too long and you’re starting to think that “if it were meant to be” it would be to-done by now.

I mean, you knew it would be hard, but – hello? — you didn’t expect it to be this hard.

When my twins were two-years-old, I was complaining to my sister about the difficulty of dealing with two toddlers. My sister whose two kids were both under four said, “it’s hard, it’s hard, it’s just all hard.”

We can call it burnout or the messy-middle, but whatever we call it the honeymoon days are long-gone.

When you’re feeling discouraged and “done” with the whole smart eating deal, here’s how to use use your annoyance for your highest good: pull out your journal and therapize yourself.

When we journal-write we’re inviting our unconscious to show up on the page and share her wisdom.

Ask yourself smart questions like these:

• When thinking about past projects: what has been your knee-jerk reaction to the messy-middle?
• Do you know what triggers a feeling of burn-out for you? (Triggers are different for different people.)
• Do you have everything you need to support yourself during the messy-middle times?
• How do you reconnect to your why you started this process (losing after 50) in the first place? Do you reconnect to it daily, weekly, or not at all? What would it feel like to reconnect daily? What would that look like?
• What are you doing to make your smart eating-life a little easier on yourself?
• Same question, but: what are you doing to make your smart eating-life harder on yourself?
• How do you show up in your own life for you?
• Do you have an internal cheerleader or coach who talks you through the messiest of middles?
• Is your coach strict? Or nurturing and loving? (Both voices are important to have as you go forward.)

So, if you feel stuck in the messy-middle just know that in this moment you and I have a choice. We can decide to replicate messy-middle reactions from our past, or we can consciously choose to handle this particular messy-middle with an entirely new, well thought out response. ♥

Pearl Two

On a daily basis, always take a moment to look at what you’re doing: losing/preserving weight after age 50. Appreciate how much you’re doing. Sure, shoring up such-and-such habit would be smart, but for a moment just admire what is. You’ve done a great job. If nobody else is saying it to you: I’m saying it: you’re doing a great job. Now, give yourself this kind of appreciation every single day along with “you’ve so got this.” ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Original Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): My school reunion is in two months.
• Thought: I’m too fat.
• Feeling: Mortified. Embarrassed. Mad at myself.
• Action: I start a super strict diet.
• Result: After the wedding I’m ravenous for everything food-porn. I go off the rails for months.

Bridge Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): My school reunion is in two months.
• Thought: Without beating myself up, I can have concern for how I’ll look to old friends.
• Feeling: Nervous. A little on-edge.
• Action: I’m going to the InspiredEater.com and planning from there.
• Result: I’m talking to myself in a much kinder, less judgemental kind of way. Reunions are rough on everybody.

New Chosen Sequence

• Situation (something very concrete): My school reunion is in two months.
• Thought: The reunion is perfect for a “baby goal.” I can bring my “best self” and I’m so looking forward to catching up with old friends.
• Feeling: Revved-up. Focused.
• Action: I write a smart eating plan for the next two months. I’ll make the same kind of plan for actual day of the event. And I’ll make another smart eating plan for the weeks after event. Planning is my golden ticket!
• Result: My last two months have gone well (eating-wise). While my weight is higher than I’d like it to be, I can live with these results. I’m focused now on who I’ll get to see again. ♥

Pearl Four

I have another great memoir for you. Remember Kramer on Seinfeld? Well, who would think he’s always had the soul of a serious actor? Entrances and Exits by Michael Richards (Author), Jerry Seinfeld (Foreword) is the precise reason I love memoirs so much: you learn the many ins and outs of somebody’s life and it’s dang interesting! Really, it’s one of those books I stayed up too late reading. Highly recommend. ♥

Pearl Five

It has to be hard so you’ll never ever forget.” ♥

Bob Harpet

Have you ever had a day when you wake up tired? For no real reason? That’s me today. I think I’ll catch some shut-eye with my kitty on the couch.

Have a wonderful week!!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥