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In Endless Summers

18 Years Into Weight Maintenance, I Still Daydream about Food-Porn: Here’s How I Vanquish It

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When was the last time you lusted for an apple? Food-porn is designed to ensnare us.

Hello Thrivers!

I hope your long weekend was a good one. If you’re brand new to the blog read Aunt Bea and then begin here. Thrivers seem to really like this post too!!

Pearl One

One afternoon I found myself thinking, “it’s too quiet”, so I put on jazz and then went in search of something horrendous to eat.

Because – in my heart of hearts — I always will default into food-porn.

But just as I’m opening the wrong cupboards, I hear the piano’s tinkle, tinkle, tinkle and thought “people who listen to jazz do not eat inappropriately.”

My interest in junk-food evaporated immediately.

And after 18-years of preserving my loss, I can promise you that I want to eat inappropriately at least once a day. So, what I’ve learned: when I start to daydream about food-porn that’s when I go into damage-control mode and tell myself, “If you’re pining for junk food, you’re merely hungry for food/food.”

Because the diet-cartel has long pushed the notion that using their particular product means that we’ll never want junk food again. Ever!!

Total urban myth.

Of course we want to inhale made-to-be alluring, engineered junk-food. The companies’ business plan includes creating enticing “food.”

As you’ve likely heard, they’re paying scientists to increase the “mouth feel” of junk food. Every time you open a package of cookies, remember that companies are actively working against your best interest.

Of course, there are various times in the day when I can walk by pizza and not blink, but if I haven’t eaten I might inhale the pizza. So when pizza is in your midst and looking quite tasty, eat a small, but powerful food: apple with peanut butter, hummus on toast, scrambled eggs with cheese, pineapple poured over cottage cheese (my favorite) and so forth.

Try this challenge for yourself: wait until you start pining for a donut and then consciously eat a small meal. After you eat your small meal, ask yourself how do I feel towards the donut now?

Still want the donut? Grab a handful of nuts. I’ve read that nuts may be one of the most powerful strategies for metaphorically squirting the donut with ketchup. (Which I highly recommend doing for real. The brain sees you squirting ketchup up on treats and is immediately put on notice that you’re serious-beyond serious-now.)

I’ll say it again for emphasis: fantasizing about junk-food is nothing more than you’re hungry for real food. ♥

Pearl Two

This wisdom is rooted in James Clears’ the Atomic Habits.

Clear tells us that to embed a strong new habit, we need to make the new behavior: obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying.

Two of these laws, obvious and attractive, encourage us to make our environment work for us and not against. In our case we want to make it annoyingly difficult to get our hands on junk-food and insanely easy to eat smart-food. Keep your kitchen stocked in your favorite smart food and prepare as much in advance as you can: hard-boil eggs, cook your protein, have your favorite fruit on hand (especially in the spring a summer).

The more prepared you are, the more small wins you’ll have.

There shouldn’t be cheesecake or pizza in our kitchen in the first place, but if you live with others who require treats, ask that the ultra-processed food – what we’re now calling junk-food – live in the highest cupboard where you can’t see or reach it (even with a stool). Hide cold treats in a brown bag that’s pushed to the back of the bottom shelf to the back.

I used to say this in jest, but it’s totally true: one perk of getting older is that we forget the treats in our kitchen if they’re out of sight.

Clear’s third law is “easy.” When you want to make losing weight smoother, a little less rocky, consider putting these ideas into place:

  • Stay satiated. Hunger is not your friend. I have a much easier time of dismissing ice cream if I’ve just had a bowl of cereal.
  • Keep several book-desserts next to your bed in easy reach ready to support you at 8 p.m. each evening. Giving up evening eating is tough, but you can make it a tad easier by having a stack of book-desserts at the ready

Clear’s last law: “make it satisfying.” This one is difficult because food is our satisfaction, but say this to yourself every day: most of us in our food-wealthy world struggle mightily with staying out of the junk-food.

Ideas to make losing and preserving after 50 satisfying. As you lose, visit your favorite thrift stores and buy in your new size (yes, even if you’re not yet at your preferred weight. Wearing your former size of clothes probably isn’t the best idea. When you go down a size, pick up new clothes for yourself at your thrift store and you’ll signal your brain, “Hey! I am sooo serious about this” (your brain needs to see you engaging in strong actions).

Big wins (like clothes) aside, I like to focus on small wins to keep myself in the smart eating game. For example I play a game with myself that if I do a,b, and c, I’ll get a new nail polish color, I’ll give myself an hour in the day to just read, in the summer I’ll lay-out at our community pool as so forth.

Somebody said “normalize little wins” and I couldn’t agree more.

I’m working on a house project right now that if I complete it will score me a small bottle of my favorite perfume (huge for me because most of the money goes to the house, my sons or our sweet kitty).

When you’re ready to develop one new habit (more than one is being mean to yourself), keep in mind that my favorite study out of England concluded that it takes 66-days to embed a strong new habit. But amazing news, it’s only the first 16 days that are the hardest. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Old Sequence

  • Situation (something concrete): I heard a man on the radio say that when his dog dies it will “destroy me.”
  • Automatic thought: I’ve lost too much in my life; I can’t take losing Lily.”
  • Feeling: Heartbroken.
  • Action: Eats comfort food.
  • Result: Gains weight.

In real life, this man may need to make a bridge between the “automatic” thought and the “chosen thought.”

New Sequence

  • Situation (something concrete): I heard a man on the radio say that when his dog dies it will “destroy me.”
  • Chosen thought: Of course, it’ll hard when she passes. I’ll be so very sad. But I can do this. Taking care of my heart about a difficult time to come is imperative. Instead of stacking my losses, I’m developing a new habit to stack my small “wins” with Lily (like: I have a great vet. Win! Lily loves to swim and I take her to a pool once a week. Win. It’s on my Lily-bucket-list to take her to the beach next month. Win!
  • Feeling: A little more balanced, a little less frantic at the very notion.
  • Action: play a lot and do a lot with Lily and I’ll keep a journal of all the fun things we do together that I’ll read one day for comfort.
  • Result: She’s with me now and life is good. When the time comes, I’ll be okay. ♥

Our brains are always listening to us. Don’t say “destroy me” instead say “it’ll be rough, but I can do it.”

Pearl Four

Light summer fun books. I highly recommend all three:

1) Is This Anything? by the GOAT, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld.

2) Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman.

3) The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson. ♥

Pearl Five

A person has to remember that the road to success is always under construction. You have to get that through your head. That it is not easy becoming successful. ♥

Steve Harvey

If you haven’t yet joined me on Facebook and Instagram, please do! And if there’s a topic you’d like me to address, I’m more than happy to. Just write in the comments below or email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

And just for some summer fun: send me pictures of your fur-kid and I’ll share the photo on here!

Make it a beautiful week!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Loooong Weekends

How to Build a Smart Eating Plan for the Four-Day Weekend

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Happy 4th of July to the U.S! Everyone else on our big, blue marble, have a beautiful weekend!

Hello Thrivers and New Thrivers!

And welcome to everyone who recently jumped onboard! This blog will make better sense if you first read Aunt Bea, but if you didn’t receive your copy feel free to email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com. Then your next best read is: “Begin Here” that also sits in the yellow ribbon above.

Pearl One

This pearl is from a former post that I updated.

I never met a holiday menu I didn’t embrace. Like so many of us I was “dieting” some of the year, but when a holiday rolled around, out the window the diet went.

Problem is — in our current culture — we celebrate something every single month (or every week if we have large families or lots of coworkers who need to be celebrated).

Take the 4th of July – in the U.S. – back in the day, you’d find me plowing into potato salad, burgers, ice cream, and you get the cherry pie gist.

By July 5th I’d wake up disappointed and angry with myself. Not only was the beautiful holiday over, but I’d also spent the weekend trashing my body. No, nobody needs a second margarita.

Finally, one year I hit my version of bottom (a serious “win” in the big picture). I was tired of the health problems that come with weight, and deeply wanted to enjoy my young kids vs. noticing that my jeans are cutting off my airway at any given time.

I’m 59 years old at the moment, (okay for 19 more days) and have kept the weight off for 18 years now and am happy to report (gobsmacked is more like it) that holidays no longer equal insane eating.

If, like me, you’re ready to emerge from this holiday weekend pleased with yourself on Monday morning, take a look at these game-changing hacks.

Hack #1: Buh-Bye Norman Rockwell!

For years, I attempted to create Norman Rockwell holidays for my family which of course causes major stress for me (that then lead to mindless overeating). It didn’t happen right away, but I worked to dispel the myth of the perfect holiday. And, as I did, a super helpful quote landed in my lap sealing the deal: “Don’t worry about being perfect. Make memories.”

Hack #2: 4th of July Eats

Over long weekends, I plan to have my very favorite foods on-hand. It’s far easier to stay on the Smart Eating Path when I have fun slash favorite food in the kitchen. I plan holiday-themed smart food that are both fun and supportive of Monday-me like watermelon, strawberries and cherries, corn-on-the cob, and grilled asparagus (almost any veggie splashed with olive oil and sprinkled with a tad salt and pepper are improved by grilling).

Hack #3: Make the Decision

I learned that trying to lose after age 50 cannot be “a wish our heart makes.” We need to make the decision to stay on The Smart Eating Path and later to maintain (adding: a wobbly decision is a perfectly fine start). A wish versus a decision are two completely different mindsets (for example, we don’t “wish” for coffee in the morning, we didn’t “wish” to get a college degree or the equivalent).

Hack #4: Setting Ourselves Up for Success

When facing a long weekend when I was losing, I’d plan in advance the menu of my entire 4th of July weekend. My plan was always to maintain my loss.

I ask myself in writing; which parts of Thursday will be challenging? What about Friday and Saturday will be tough? How about Sunday? And so on. I even recommend planning the people. Which friend or family member supplies the most drama and write about how you’ll take care of yourself.

I took a good, long look at how I was eating out of boredom during the holidays. Here’s how I handled it: along with creating a food plan, I created a step-by-step boredom plan for the weekend too. These days my portal out of boredom is a phenomenal book, an awesome show (Call the Midwife, Mad Men, Mrs. Maisel, The Crown) or I bug people to let me cuddle their fur-kid.

Hack #5: Total Transparency

I’ve never counted fruits when adding up calories or points. For me, fruits are always zero: zero calories, zero points, zero problem. (Except bananas and avocados of course.) My go-to “zeros” in July: cherries and watermelon (the little watermelons this year are excellent).

Hack #6: Monday-You Matters

When you first wake up on Monday morning: how does she want to feel? Journal about what Monday-morning you most needs from long-weekend you. What would really make Monday annoyed? What would tickle her no-end? What would make Monday-you smile and think, I can do this! (That is, maintain smart eating habits after age 50.)Wear a bracelet, ring or even perfume that reminds you to always keep Monday-you close to your heart.

Hack 7: Call Me Ms. Pig

For 18 months now I’ve been guinea pigging myself and am happy to report that one of the best habits I’ve ever embedded into my heart is amazing. It’s called the Royal Eating Plan.

The REP has nothing to do with Queen Elizabeth and her peeps. It’s actually about eating breakfast like a king, lunch like a princess and dinner like a pauper. Have I seen progress? Grand Canyon-size progress. Seriously

I eat a tiny dinner by 6:00 p.m. and don’t eat again until morning. Stunning results. (Brownies for Breakfast explains it all.)

You and I are short-changing ourselves when we dive into food as the “be-all, end all.” There’s more to the holidays – there’s more to life – than forever overeating.. ♥

Pearl Two

Truth be told, grocery store prices have jumped the shark.

So, here’s the best playbook I can come up with: Years ago, I was surprised to hear a friend say that she shopped at Whole Foods. (We both had little kids and were stretching every dollar.) She told me, “I buy whatever produce in on sale. And then I get out of there.”

I took her comment to mean that if she really wanted the gorgeous cherries that cost a million dollars a pound, she would still circumvent those cherries and head straight to the on sale watermelon.”

Such a simple idea. We’re well over 50 and know to shop sales. But here’s my point: for the sake of living well on the Smart Eating Lifestyle, you want to prioritize fruits and veggies for yourself.

The problem is that we tend to put ourself last. You don’t want to drive to 4,000 different stores to get your weekly groceries.

But you’d do it for your kids; a dear friend; a fur-kid. (To that end: send photos of your darlings!! I’d love to share them here.)

My point is that you’d go out of your way for someone you care about, but not put the same effort in for yourself.

This is a tough road we’re trekking. Small shifts in our attitude make the trek more doable. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). When we write a sequence about something happening in our lives, it helps us tap into our unconscious.

The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Former Sequence

  • Situation (something concrete): I don’t like exercise. I once had a Pilates place I liked, but the owner moved.
  • Thought: I have never liked exercise; not as a teenager, not as a young adult, never.
  • Feeling: Angry at myself, sad and frustrated.
  • Action: Workout a little here and there, but mostly avoid it all together.
  • Result: My muscles continue to atrophy.

New Sequence

  • Situation (something concrete): I don’t like exercise. I once had a Pilates place I liked, but the owner moved.
  • Chosen Thought: Okay, you hate exercise. I’m going to purchase a fun and attractive workout outfit and I’ll put it on in the mornings, so that I’ll put myself into the frame of mind to go upstairs and workout. (Yes, I still ride the bike scrolling Instagram which has been a massive help.)
  • Feeling: Happy (that I’m continuing to think up new and creative ideas.)
  • Action: I look around on Amazon for workout clothes that won’t cost a fortune.
  • Result: Maintaining daily exercise. ♥

Pearl Four

I’m not giving book reviews, I’m only sharing books that I love and I think of as being a perfect book-dessert. If you haven’t tried this tool, give it a go. Have a small dinner at 6 p.m. and take off for bed at 8 so that you have time to read.

Fabulous book-dessert alert!!  The Life We Bury by Allen Eskens. Loved this book along with 37,799 Amazon readers who give the read 4.5 stars. Not just a super interesting story, but beautifully written too. (Thrilled to find a new author).

Enjoy. Total book-dessert. ♥

Pearl Five

You will burn and you will burn out; you will be healed and come back again.” ♥

Fyodor Dostoevsky

I hope you enjoyed the ride today. It’s of course new for me to post on Mondays, but it will help my schedule so much so thank you for migrating over here with me.

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Endless Summers

The Lens to Use When You’re Trekking the Weight Loss Mountain

1 Comment

Hello All Thrivers!

And welcome to everyone who recently jumped onboard! This blog will make better sense if you first read Aunt Bea, but if you didn’t receive your copy feel free to email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com. Then your next best read is: “Begin Here” that also sits in the yellow ribbon above.

Let’s go!

Pearl One

Even back when I was a card-carrying member of the Totally Annoying Teenager club, I still thought my grandma was the best ever and I told her so often.

Her eyes would crinkle and she’d say, “You’re just looking at me through the eyes of love, my darling.”

Today we say “lens” not “eyes.”  

For example, my husband looks through the “fancy-bakery” lens every time we’re in a new area of our town; not to mention when we’re traveling.

One of my sons looks at the world through a video game and Marvel superheroes lens.

And of course I wear my “how can I eat smart food today?” lens.

It took time, but I finally gave up my very old “how much bad food can I get away with today?” lens.

Journal-Writing Gems

As you know, I’m a huge believer in the power of journal-writing as an affordable method of therapy, and this topic is ideal for mining the depths. Just pull out your journal – or buy a pretty one – and ask yourself these questions:

What lens would best support you on this trek up the steep mountain we’re climbing (losing after age 50). What is your go-to lens in life? Is the Eeyore lens used on the regular while your “I’m brilliant!!” lens sits dusty on the shelf?

Think of a time when your brilliance was on full display. That’s who you are. Write about bringing your “brilliant” lens into your daily life. Start by using your brilliant-lens for just one hour, then one morning, then a full-day, then a week and so forth. Learning to default to your brilliant-lens isn’t a one-and-done deal. If you really want to capture and use your lens, you need to consciously call on her daily.

Think about the most positive person you know. What type of lens does she seem to use on the regular? How would it feel to use this person’s lens for an hour or two?

What lens would serve you well for tackling a tough job (like cleaning the garage)? What kind of lens will you use the next time you’re feeling really blue?

What lens do you use in the morning? for lunch? dinner? on the weekend? Do you need to shift your food lens? (I sure did.)

When you’re ready to make a shift, make it slowly. Don’t expect yourself to shift from “people are mean, food comes to my rescue” lens to the “I come to my own rescue, food is fuel” lens overnight.

But – given time — you can totally make the shifts. Why do I say “go slowly? If we rush to develop a new habit we will awaken our cavewoman inside of us. She’s the one who tells us to buy two chocolate shakes, go home and crash on the couch in front of Hulu. Keeping the cavewoman quiet so that your hyper-smart prefrontal brain can go into action is the whole idea. Your prefrontal will send you the best lens for the moment. All you need to do is consciously ask. ♥

Pearl Two

I don’t remember where I heard this, but it’s not mine. The guy was saying something like, “always live with something to look forward to.” Isn’t that a cool idea? I’ll add: what we we look forward to can be small (sleeping under an electric blanket when it’s cold out) to big (a cruise vacation). ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). When we write a sequence about something happening in our lives, it helps us tap into our unconscious.

The purpose of sequences is to help us go from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

Former Sequence

Bridge Sequence (you might need more than one depending on what feels right to you in this situation.)

  • Situation (something super concrete): I put on my cute shorts and they don’t fit.
  • A chosen thought: “Oh no. But this time around, I might have an idea about how to get through not fitting into my shorts.”
  • Feeling: Curious, but still doubtful that anything will work.
  • Action: I put the shorts away for now.
  • Result: I don’t beat myself up.

New Sequence

  • Situation: (something super concrete): I put on my cute shorts and they don’t fit.
  • A chosen thought: “I’ve so got this.”
  • Feeling: Relieved and pleased that I’m actually using a smart-eating plan.
  • Action: I go to my desk and take a good look at where I might be over-indulging in food-porn. Once I have a better idea of where the leak in the hose is, the quicker I can make positive change.
  • Result: I work on strengthening my habits and within a month I fit into my shorts. ♥

Pearl Four

I’m not giving book reviews here, I’m only sharing books that I love and I think are perfect for a book-dessert. If you haven’t tried this tool, give it a go. Have a small dinner at 6 p.m. and take off for bed at 8 so that you have time to read.

Trust by Hernan Diaz. This big boy won several prizes in 2022 including the Pulitzer. I’m halfway through and it’s excellent. Five thumbs up. ♥

Pearl Five

Learn how to turn frustration into fascination. You will learn more being fascinated by life then you will by being frustrated.” ♥

Jim Rohn

You know how I was thinking about moving this blog to Monday or Thursday? Many of you emailed me privately and voted for Thursday. But I’m moving The Inspired Eater blog to Monday morning. One day I realized that Monday aligns well with stuff in my life. I care about you guys and I hope this move doesn’t cause a problem for you. And thank you to everyone who voted!

So, here we are on Friday, June 28. You’re reading the last Friday post today. Additionally I’ll post again this coming Monday, July 1: a two-fer! Pearl one is about how to deal with the long holiday weekend.

Have a wonderful weekend and I’ll see you on Monday!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Endless Summers

We Are David Cassidy-Years-Old & it’s Time to Start Bringing Our Dreams to Life

6 Comments

Hello Thrivers!

Welcome to everyone who’s new!! If you haven’t yet received Aunt Bea just shout: Wendy@theInpiredEater.com. I’ll send her immediately.

And if you live in Smyrna and sent me a really nice email, please write back. I think my computer ate it!

Pearl One

From a former year’s post, but updated for today!

I thought we’d start today with wisdom from my teen-crush and yours: Mr! David! Cassidy! I plastered my bedroom walls in Tiger Beat David-pictures. He was “hot” before hot was cool.

We all got older and received TMI about Mr. Cassidy IRL. Turns out, we weren’t head over heels for David Cassidy, it was Keith Partridge we wanted the whole time. (Let’s just say that Cassidy did not grow up to be Ron Howard.)

But here’s the gift David left us. According to his daughter his last words were, “So much wasted time.”

It’s easy for me to write, let’s quit frittering our time away. But how do we stop frittering? It’s like surgeons telling us to lose weight. (Okay, but how?!)

Here’s my take: Life is hard. Sometimes annoyingly hard, other times tragically hard. And let’s be honest with ourselves that a default life is significantly easier than pursuing a dream.

It’s so much easier to crash on the couch watching Hulu, ice cream by our side, right? We’re being robbed of an awesome life by overdoing nap-life (nothing against naps, of course they’re fine when you need one).

But if we want to shoot for the stars and enjoy the incredible parts of reaping the rewards of hard work, we need to understand that a dream fulfilled comes via frustration, annoyance and feelings of “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Nobody has found an awesome life at the bottom of a bowl of ice cream.

Our most exciting plans usually take years to come to fruition; our biggest dreams require us to learn how to manage disappointment, irritation, and boredom.

Somebody – not me – said, “Winning is hard. Failing is hard. Choose your hardship.”

So, how do we stop frittering our time? First by acknowledging what we’re up against: losing weight at any age in our food-culture is insanely challenging.

But losing after age 50? Most will say impossible; that women over 50 just have to get comfortable with 10, 20, or 50 extra pounds. They shrug, that’s just life.

No, it’s not.

The ironic thing is that once we get the “massively difficult” part, the weight loss after 50 trek gets more workable. (Remember, when we call it a “part-time job”, we elevate how we spend our time).

So much wasted time?

Not on our watch. ♥

Pearl Two

Since we’re in the middle of summer travel, I want to share a healthy peanut butter packet that’ll breeze right through airport security and board the plane with you, no questions asked.

Called Justin’s Classic Peanut Butter Spread (they also make honey peanut butter spread), these babies come in single 1.5 ounce packets that again are small enough to keep airport security from pestering you. The packets are a little pricey, but the honey peanut butter spread is relatively inexpensive.

Here’s the deal, don’t cheap out on yourself. If you’re like me you spend on family, the fur-people, the house and so forth, but rarely spend on yourself. Even if you’re not a peanut butter person, purchase foods that you most love as you pursue your forever-loss. Yes, the fancy high-end dark chocolate is pricey, but losing and preserving after age fifty is seriously rough trekking. Keep your favorites in stock.

And – when you’re at home – the packets are just the ticket for packing in your cold-tote when you’re out and about.

As you know, one of my top tips for successful weight loss and forever-preservation is: always carry a cold-tote with you full of healthy bites so that you won’t – ever – be tempted by fast-food or the frighteningly unsafe grocery store aisles. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequences!

Old Sequence

  • Situation (something concrete): “I’ve heard that now’s a good time to give up daily weigh ins on the scale.” (Unless you’re in preservation-mode.)
  • Thought: “No way would that work for me.”
  • Feeling: Mad.
  • Action: I keep weighing myself twice a day (morning and evening) to see if I’ve “been good.”
  • Result: Same as every weight result; I lose twenty pounds, but don’t keep the weight off.

Bridge Sequence

  • Situation (something concrete): “I’ve heard that now’s a good time to give up daily weigh ins on the scale.” (Unless in preservation.)
  • Thought: “Let me give this stupid idea time to think about. It appears to have worked for Wendy, but I don’t know. I think I could try it for a week or a month?”
  • Feeling: Annoyed and reluctant.
  • Action: First, I put my scale up high and out of reach, then I give eating well a “no-scale” go for a week.
  • Result: Well at the end of the week, I gained a pound. I’m starting to understand that creating the right habits really – in theory – should keep the scale low.

New Sequence

  • Situation (something concrete): “I’ve heard that now’s a good time to give up daily weigh in on the scale.” (Unless in preservation-mode.)
  • Thought: The idea of “no scale, only habits” is starting to make sense.
  • Feeling: Still leery, but hopeful.
  • Action: I went a month not gaining, but not losing.
  • Result: I allow myself leeway. I use the scale often, but put it away just as often. And I stopped weighing myself at night. (Progress!)

Takeaway: Living without a scale is like studying really hard for a test. You have no feedback for the longest time, so you stay focused on studying well. Finally, the test-day arrives and you don’t always get an A+, but you’ll take a B-without a problem. And this is how new thought patters are created. There’s nothing “easy” about any of this. If it’s hard, you’re right on schedule. ♥

Pearl Four

A Table for Two by the author who wrote A Gentleman In Moscow, both by Amor Towles. I’m just getting into A Table for Two but it has two of my most loved things: a favorite author and a wonderful beginning to the book. But if you haven’t yet read A Gentleman in Moscow start there. Book-dessert works, give it try. Eat something small around 6 p.m.ish and at 8 p.m. go to your room brush, floss, maybe a shower or bath and then dive into a phenomenal book. It can’t be the least bit dry. The book-dessert isn’t at full-throttle until the book is super juicy. ♥

Pearl Five

Life is hard enough. So don’t surround yourself with people who thrive on drama and make it even harder.” ♥

Charles F. Glassman

Make it the kind of weekend where you live for Monday-morning-you waking up thrilled!

I’d appreciate so much a follow on Facebook/theInspiredEater.com and  Instagram. And thank you! ♥

If you enjoyed this post, I’d love if you’d share it with a friend!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Endless Summers

The Trip-Essentials to Return Home Pleasantly Surprised

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Hello Everyone,

Let’s jump right in.

Pearl One

Time to talk travel! It’s mid-June and every trip will throw its own special curve-ball our way, but here’s how to knock it out of the park. Today I’ll detail exactly how I prep to maintain my Smart Eating Lifestyle while on vacation.

As I’ve mentioned I’ve been a freelance family travel writer for 18 years. When I first started writing, I’d already lost the 55 pounds and there was no way I’d throw a monkey-wrench into my life by re-gaining pounds every time I took a trip. Even gaining just ten pounds here or there would add up quickly.

Smart Planning

Maybe one day we’ll have drive-thrus where we can order fresh strawberries and cold, ripe cantaloupe, grocery stores that make it easy to find the healthiest food quickly, and restaurants that serve sane, “we care about our customers” portion-sizes. For now, we have our culture: food-porn for as far as the eye can see.

You know how we cut back on frittering money away when we have a trip coming up soon? We may eat out less, adhere to no-spend weekends, and shell out as little as possible before our getaway?

Well, I do the same thing with my weight. I might cut back on food a week or two before the trip.
 
I also plan to the detail like a woman with her hair on fire. The plan is unique to each trip: a week in Hawaii’s plan looks different that a week on a cruise ship.


One

A week before the trip I organize my thinking. With firm kindness, I tell myself – at least every other hour for many days — that I’m living a smart eating lifestyle. I’m not on a diet. There’s nothing “to go off of” when I’m on a getaway. It’s a lifestyle, a lifestyle, a lifestyle.

Two

As you go forward, remind yourself that everything’s hard in the beginning. Once you get accustomed to travel-eating it becomes like riding a bike.

I write in my journal the many strategies I’ll use to maintain. Here’s an example of what my pre-trip writing looks like:

  • I keep healthy and satiating snacks in my purse at all times on the trip; staying “full enough” is your go-to throughout your vacation.
  • I manage restaurant food by planning. For example, prior to eating in a restaurant, I’ll google the menu and choose my plate in advance (those allergic to food items use this strategy regularly; no need to feel weird).
  • I plan to eat a large breakfast, medium lunch, small snack, and tiny dinner while on the trip.
  • When eating out at restaurants, I always “eat before I eat.” Meaning I have something small, but substantial before stepping into a restaurant. Does it “ruin my meal”? Yes, it does, Dad, but that’s the whole point.
  • The eat before I eat strategy means that I travel with bananas, small travel-friendly packs of peanut butter, apples, granola bars (1/2 of a Cliff bar is a favorite of mine) and so on. I never allow myself to eat without curbing my appetite first with a small snack.
  • I also bring a cold tote and ice-blocks and use the hotel room’s mini fridge/freezer. My goal is to always book hotels with mini-fridges but if I didn’t, I can usually rent a small frig from the hotel staff.
  • Using a mini-frig means that I can eat half of my dinner entrée and take the rest back to the hotel in a doggy bag or Tupperware I brought from home. If I forgot ice blocks, I use the hotels ice machine. (Both baggies and dry-cleaning bags from the hotel are great for holding ice.)
  • If I have dessert at dinner, I’ll only eat a bite or two, and then I’ll dump salt on the rest of it (lol, I’ve never used the salt-maneuver, but in a pinch, I’d salt and pepper the hell out of dessert).
  • My real plan is to bring a dessert back to the hotel and finish it in the morning with my coffee. Here’s a post on why I eat dessert in the mornings only: Brownies for Breakfast. I’ve eaten this way for years and it absolutely keeps the pounds off.

Three

You and I have gone on and off diets for decades, right?

In the past when we’ve traveled, we’ve told ourselves that we’re going off our diet because we “deserve” to eat on a trip given “how good we’ve been all year.” That, in fact, we’re “not living” if we can’t sample the destination’s cuisine.

And this is how we’re playing games with ourselves.

Sampling cuisine is one thing, overeating for a week is something else entirely. I could argue that downing the bread basket before the plate of hand-made pasta arrives to the table, is ruining the experience of tasting fresh pasta.

But here’s the thing: it all comes down to how we talk to ourselves. It’s important to remind ourselves that we’re not “going off” anything. We live on a Smart Eating Lifestyle — period.

And the idea of “deserving” to — what? – overeat food? What you actually deserve is to be at the pant-size you most prefer and stay at it.

As for “not living”: we’re not allowing ourselves to really live when we don’t feel wonderful in our own skin.

But when you do come across a food-item that’s special to the region or extraordinary in some way, enjoy. Order a plate and plan to take the other half back to the hotel.

How I Do Fast-Food on a Trip

If I’m on the road and get hungry, I’ll google the closest Chick-fil-A. I always order a salad at Chick-fil-A (go light, light, light on the dressing). I love their “market salad” that’s a bed of beautiful spring mix topped with fresh apple, blueberries, strawberries, blue cheese crumbles, walnuts, and granola. I didn’t add the granola to mine. I only use the crumbled blue cheese like it’s dressing.

If there’s no Chick-fil-A around, I’ll stop at Taco Bell and get a bean burrito “al fresco.” One.

The whole idea is tide myself over until I can get to a kitchen and eat smart food.

Again, I make a new plan for every trip. I anticipate every speed bump and I usually don’t need fast-food because I packed healthy bites in my cold-tote (large or small).

For planes I keep two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with me in my purse. Yes, it’s a lot of calories, but airports are exhausting. You don’t want to get tired and hungry: pretty much ever. Tired + hungry = overeating that triggers an entire week of overeating. If you get tired and hungry, you’ve let yourself down. It should essentially never happen to you.

So, I plan before a trip, make adjustments during, and plan for re-entry back into real life. On the day we’re headed home I plan to have smart food available to me all day. So, if my scarfer loves to drive home with candy, I easily ignore it because I have sliced apple, a cheese sandwich and a small yogurt in a bag. When I get home I don’t overeat from the stress of travel because I’ve left something in the freezer for just this moment. Or because I’m a pineapple-nut, I’ll leave a can of my favorite brand on the counter to remind me to eat smart. When i get home, I immediately throw it into the fridge and eat half the can within about 15 minutes. Everyone will have their own “re-entry” food plan. ♥

Pearl Two

I didn’t use a scale until I’d reached my preferred weight, so when I was developing strong habits, I focused on strengthening my habits versus a number on the scale. If you really give it some thought, smart eating habits drive the scale down whether you’re eagle-eyeing the scale or not.

But if you’re married to your scale, let me share this important truth. Let’s say you’re watching your scale like a hawk, the scale bounces around especially when we’re holding (once called plateauing). On one morning the scale says, “167.” The next day it raises to 169. And on the third day it bounces back to 168. All of the bouncing may really be hard for you, so remind yourself often that weight bounces around just before it finally settles on one number. Once it settles on a number, let it stay there for a month or two. You want to give the cavewoman time to adjust to your new weight before you start to lose more. ♥

Pearl Three

Our Sequence Slot!

The Automatic Sequence:

Situation (something concrete): I’ve reached my preferred weight, now I’m terrified of regaining.

Thought: I’ve always re-gained lost weight. Always.

Feeling: I feel wobbly and out of control about what happens next.

Action: I eat junk-food.

Result: I feel gross having eaten stupid-food and am now even more afraid that I’ll re-gain my loss.

New Sequence with chosen thought

Situation (something concrete): I’ve reached my preferred weight, now I’m terrified of regaining.

Thought:  I tell myself: “we’re in a new century when we know so much more about keeping the weight off using habits. I need to stay focused on strengthening my smart eating habits. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.” Your chant.

Feeling: Calm.

Action: I eat grapes and cottage cheese for lunch.

Result: I ask my scarfer to keep treats up high and far from me where I can’t see or reach them. ♥

Pearl Four

One-thousand-percent loved The Real Americans: A Novel by Rachel Khong. It took a minute, but nine pages in, I was hooked. The characters are drawn as if they’re real people and the plot itself is outstanding. And the book has one of my favorite things: It’s a story set in the U.S. but is about the Chinese culture.

If you need an easy, but absorbing book, this read would be awesome for a long wait in the airport, on a plane, in a train, or if you feel like hanging out at the neighborhood pool. This is a definite book-dessert. ♥

Pearl Five

Set your goal so big that if you achieve it would blow your mind.” ♥

Anonymous

Have a beautiful weekend!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Endless Summers

Enough Lame Advice: We Need to Know How to Be “Mindful” & How to “Use Positive Self-Talk”

4 Comments

Hi Everyone!

We have new people on board – welcome again! — and I’d love for us to be on the same page.

The ground floor must: choose an eating plan that you love and then marry it. Switching up how we eat every year or two isn’t a recipe for our success.

Second-must: begin to track your eating in a little notebook you leave by the fridge with a good pen. Studies back this tactic, and anecdotally I’d never give up on the magic of tracking what I eat. I even track when I’m traveling.

If you’re new, have you had the chance to read Begin Here? It should be very helpful.

Let’s go!

Pearl One

I’ve been reading diet books of late and I’m a little miffed. There’s a lot of advice like “eat mindfully” and “speak kindly to yourself”, but then never give a whisper about how to do any of it.

Now, you might think, “Wendy is just bragging because she was able to do it.” No, as you know, I think that getting smug is the first step into a downward spiral. I will never be smug about losing the weight and preserving the loss forever.

I’m angry because there’s a massive diet-empire out there that has long led us to buy their product “that works.”

Except the product doesn’t work.

And then they blame us! Their customers!

Here’s what the diet-cartel needs from you and me: desperation so great that we’ll buy their product hoping for a “cure” to our frustration. They care about our success to the point of how it’s affecting their bottom line. That’s why there are only weight loss companies and no weight maintenance companies. The more successful we are, the less money in their pocket. Slick operation they built for themselves. ♥

Pearl Two

Let me share the specifics on what I did – in real life – to eat more mindfully. I didn’t start to eat mindfully/intuitively until I was well into my eighteenth year of preserving my original loss. I probably went overboard and could have started sooner; my suggestion to you is wait until you’ve preserved your loss for ten years before you try going it alone.

How to speak kindly to yourself? The whole idea behind transforming your self-talk is to progress slowly so that you don’t want trigger your inner cavewoman. She wound merely snort,“How ridiculous!! This is idiotic!!”

Remember that your cavewoman is the part of our brain that only wants to protect us from the saber tooth tiger She wants us to stay in her pajamas, watching the Kardashians on Hulu eating a couple bowls of chocolate- mint ice cream.

It’s our prefrontal brain that’s the smart adult inside our brain. The prefrontal wants to prepare and plan and maybe take sensible risks.

So, proceed super slowly.

On a day when your prefrontal brain is fully in charge: tally up how many times you’re mean to yourself in one hour, on a drive to work, and later, for an entire day. You might think, “I can’t do anything right” or you might actually call yourself names. Just tally up what you’re telling yourself at any given point in time to determine how often you’re mean to you.

Journal-write to these questions (most inexpensive form of therapy on the planet.)

  • Why do I say “I’m fat and ugly” and not “stupid”? (Why do you use one word over another?)
  • Am I overly critical of myself? Of others?
  • Do people in my family of origin beat themselves up internally (I could tell that my dad did)?
  • What are three paths I could take to be more positive towards myself?

Here’s how to take yourself to a better place. Let’s say you begin with:

“I’m so stupid” turns into

“I can be stupid, but sometimes I’m not” into

“Hey, I’m a human, all humans make mistakes” into

“I’m not so bad” into

“I can do this; it just takes time.”

As you work with yourself to increase your positive self-talk, just know that you’ll revert and call yourself names and – without any drama — merely note it and consciously substitute something positive for the negative word. Remember, positive self-talk is a process that just improves over time if you stay with it. ♥

Pearl Three

Our Sequence Slot!

Old Sequence

Situation (something concrete): We have a leak that is driving our water bill up to $700 a month from $200. My husband has looked for the cause, but can’t find it. Time to call a plumber.

Thought: Just great!! We don’t even know a plumber let alone afford one.

Feeling: Annoyed, like there’s one more thing on my plate.

Action: Zippo.

Result: More anger.

New Sequence

Situation (something concrete): We have a really bad leak that is driving our water bill up to $700 a month from $200. My husband has looked for the cause, but can’t find it. Time to call a plumber.

Thought (consciously chosen).  I can do hard things. If this little leak ends up costing a lot to repair, we’ll make it work. Going in, I knew that houses require maintenance.

Feeling: Resigned. Calm.

Action: Put a post on Next Door to see if anyone could recommend a plumber. The neighbors did have recommendations and the plumber was at our house the next day.

Result: The plumbing gets fixed — yes, the bill was large –, but no more mystery, sky-high water bills!

Pearl Four

My summer goal is to read nothing but funny books. The funny I’m currently reading is David Sedaris’s, Calypso He is a prolific writer and you’ll find all of his here. Apparently I didn’t start in the “right” place. Start reading him at his beginning.:Let’s explore diabetes with owls. ♥

Pearl Five

Align your focus with the solution and not the problem.” ♥

Jim Rohn

A summer challenge: during June, July and August vow to laugh — hard — every single day with yourself, other people or your kitty. It’s a fun resolution. I did this one year for the entire year and still remember how fun it was!

♥, Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Breathtaking Springs

What I’ve Never Told Anyone: I Love Spring Rolls & Why it Matters When We’re Losing After 50

4 Comments

Hi Everyone,

These Pearls are a tad long so let’s get started! And welcome to new people! If you didn’t receive Aunt Bea just email me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com. ♥

Pearl One

Today we’re talking “individuation” in Pearl One and in Pearl Two “differentiation.” Then we’ll talk why they matter in our smart eating lives.

A new friend and I agreed to meet at lunch for Thai. We were just getting to know each other, but one thing caught my attention when we ordered. You know the spring rolls that’ve clearly been fried in grease? Well, gross or not, I love them. I don’t always order them but when I do, I eat the whole thing and then ask if you want yours.

So, when the staff person asked if we would like spring rolls with our lunch?” my friend immediately replied, “We don’t eat those fried things. No, no, icky, icky” and looked at me for confirmation.

I didn’t say, “but I LOVE them!”

Instead, I didn’t make a peep.

The – what l perceived to be – pressure to be like her, eat like her and hate spring rolls like her, felt concerning. I mean, it wasn’t a surprise, but the “let’s be alike” thing can be a signal that someone might not have have gotten far in their individuation process. (Wouldn’t it be fun to have me as a friend?)

I’d given my new friend a neutral reaction re: the spring rolls; not agreeing or disagreeing. But this spring roll situation is a great example of two people (my friend and myself) both needing work on our “Individuation journey.” My friend was pushing boundaries assuming I disliked spring rolls too. And I wasn’t setting boundaries by speaking up and saying that I love them.

(That said, I could have perceived things entirely wrong. If I’d known her better, I would have asked for feedback.)

What’s my point?

The idea of individuation is one that informs every molecule of our lives.

Carl Jung theorized that at mid-life we (unconsciously) begin to individuate in earnest. (Since his time, we now believe that a newborn begins to individuate when she’s just out of the womb.)

I once had an instructor in my master’s class say, “When the toddler first says, ‘NO!’ The parents should throw a party!” because yelling “no!” is a sign of strong mental health; the little girl is coming along beautifully, right on schedule.

Gems from the Journal

Now would be a wonderful time to pull out your journal. Individuation is about wondering “do I have a life’s purpose? And what is it? Why am I here? And who am I if I weren’t Wilson’s mom and Alex’s wife? Who am I as a person outside of the larger culture? Are there parts of myself that I haven’t used/been in for years. How am I at setting boundaries?” (As they say, there’s a lot to unpack here.)

It’s as if you’re outlining yourself with a big, black marker defining who you are. Carl Jung “invented” individuation and he believed that in mid-life the urge to evolve as a person is at its strongest.

And – as you likely know –, a painful childhood may likely mean that individuation stalled along the way.

You can locate the right therapist who can be a mid-wife for your individuation process or you can let the ideas percolate in your mind and then journal-write, pouring it out on the page. There’s great wisdom inside of you and you can access it all through your pen.

As Jung put it, “The world will ask you who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.”

Pearl Two

Now let’s talk differentiation (having a solid sense of self in a relationship).

Michael Phelps won 28 Olympic medals and became the most decorated athlete in Olympic history.

But can you imagine being his wife? “What do you mean you’re hungry again?”

When we’re in the honeymoon stage of being a couple, there’s a lot of “we’re so alike. We both like Johnny Cash! And SNL!! He even loves pizza! I mean, what are the odds, right?”

However, once the good-times start slowing down and real-life returns, differentiation becomes a significant player in your relationship with your partner. Differentiation tells us, that “as a couple we can be apart for the day, I still love you even though you’re not standing in front me at the moment” (summary of a Michelle Obama interview).

And it’s absolutely part of differentiation to say, “I’m working on smart eating, so dinner is going to be a little different this year (it’s really “a forever” way of eating, but take your partner along slowly).

Differentiation asks, “how are you able to maintain your sense of self while still engaging in an intimate relationship with your partner?” Do you both need to love the same movies? If he golfs with buddies while you go to church, is that okay with you?

I use Michael Phelps as a stark example of a married couple not eating alike. Phelps and his wife of course had to eat differently than each other, it wasn’t even a question. She had her meal and he had his

In a perfect world each partner has been on a steady path towards their own “individuation” and when they come together, they’re able to be physically close, plan their future together; basically, engage well with one another in a respectful, appreciative, curious and caring way. Always keeping their partner in mind, but also asserting themselves into the equation.

Bahahahaha!!

Had you for a second there, didn’t I?!

Let’s be real, you and I don’t live in Unicorn-Land. We live in the real world where partners have no idea what the word “differentiating” even means. But here’s the cool news: you can individuate and differentiate with your partner on your own. Just pour it all out into your journal. Writing is the best form of therapy because it’s always there for you.

What does individuation and differentiation have to do with us? When we bring a more defined sense of self to the partnership, we better choices and tolerate less (excuse my French) BS. Just know that “individuation” lifelong process. You’re creating a better relationship with yourself and that’s a forever-exploration.

A healthy differentiation directly affects our smart eating lives. If you feel a pull to always eat the same food items together. If it somehow feels “wrong” to eat separately. IF you think things like, “but that isn’t a marriage if I don’t eat with him” you might want to journal-write about your basic assumptions of a partnership and how you “show up” as a person working on your own individuation.” ♥



Pearl Three

A sequence a week

Once you get accustomed to doing sequences, you can do them in your mind. But again I typed them out for eons. This sequence is roots are grounded in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) founded by Aaron Beck in the 60’s.

The Initial Sequence

  • Situation: Grocery prices are high including produce.
  • Thought: “I’ll never see my favorite foods again! How does smart eating even work if the food you love isn’t affordable?”
  • Feeling: Angry.
  • Action: Just tolerate what I can afford.
  • Result: I’m living in an angry state of mind and perceive the grocery stores as as the “bad guy.”

The New Sequence

  • Situation: Grocery prices are high including produce.
  • Thought: I can adjust to our “new normal,” it’ll take time but I’ll get there. In the meantime I’ll search for ideas about how to bring costs down.
  • Feeling: Proactive and like I’m taking care of myself.
  • Action: I feel emboldened to search for solutions to the crazy prices, so I asked on a specific forum how they’re managing to keep the prices down. One person responded, “Do you know where an Asian market is by you?” Do I?! We live a stone’s throw from a huge Korean market. The responder suggested that I might like the produce prices in an Asian market better than at Kroger. Not sure that’s true, but I will report back.
  • Result: I’m going to the Korean market this weekend! ♥

Pearl Four

Pearl four is an amazing book recommendation; not a review, just an awesome book I want to share

A few months back we read Whatever You Do, Don’t Run by Peter Allison and it apparently affected me because ever since i watch way too many “lions in the wild being a family” short-form videos. I wanted to share his next book with you and I was finishing the book I realizzed that I’d skipped too many sad animal stories. I think there was one sad story in his first book, but the secone, no, too many scenes that I don;t want in my head!

Bui they’re rather stories gentle stories — not for me — but you might be fine with that sort of content. If you are, his book is called Don’t Look Behind You. If you have a gentle heart for animals you might want to skip this one. But if you haven’t read his first, it’s really good.

Pearl Five

 
The mind can be both your greatest ally and worst enemy; you make it your strongest ally! ♥

anonymous.

Just a little housekeeping: I’m moving The Inspired Eater to either Mondays or Thursdays. Can you let me know in the comments below which day you’d? And thank you for doing that.!

♥ Wendy

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!!

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Breathtaking Springs

Using Strong Mind-Sets and Habits to Lose Weight Permanently

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Hi Everyone,

I’m sorry these pearls are so late. I wrote two pearls and they just vanished. I will be getting IT work for sure.

Pearl One

I wrote early on about Brownies at Breakfast. When you and I transfer our nighttime sugar eating to having one dessert at breakfast with our coffee (always before 9 am), it’s a first step to slowly weaning ourselves off of sugar. (That said, if even a bite of chocolate triggers you into a week of overeating, clearly having a brownie at breakfast won’t work for you, for now.)

Sugar In the Morning

Here’s why I strongly encourage you to move desserts to the mornings.

1) By scheduling desserts in the morning we’re putting sugar into a time of day when few of us go berserko on desserts and overeat.

2) We’re helping ourselves “not feel cheated” because “everyone” is having desserts after dinner. We’ll have dessert too, but in the morning.

3) Our bodies don’t grip onto calories in the morning the way they do at night. I know this is a controversial idea, but those in the field of science are starting to take note, and it sure has worked in my life. I breakfast like king, lunch like a princess and eat dinner like a pauper (with light afternoon snacks).

Here’s the upshot: Because I developed the habit of moving dessert from the evening to the morning (which I took full advantage of in the beginning), actually helped me to eventually give up sugar entirely.

Again, the rules I created for myself: Eating desserts in the morning meant I had to be don’t with breakfast by 9 a.m. If I had a relatively light breakfast I would count that as two points. But if my breakfast was large, I calculated in four points. You can do the same equation if you’re counting calories. ♥

Pearl Two

I heard a guy on Instagram say, “Our brains are like a supercomputer. Our self-talk is the program. Our brains are always listening when we talk to ourselves.”

Pull out your journal and write to these prompts. When I wrote, I was quite surprised at some of the answers.

  • I really love that I . . .
  • I can always count on myself to. . .
  • It’s taken time, but I’ve learned to be great at . . .
  • Learning to manage . . . 
  • I like that I learned how to . . .
  • I’m tickled that I developed a habit of . . .
  • Next write one word to each answer. For example, these were my six words.

I’m saying this stack to myself daily and it’s been especially supportive during tough moments when it seems like the blanket of negativity is descending. ♥

Pearl Three

Sequencing is taken directly from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The purpose of sequences is to help us move from reacting to circumstances to responding. I encourage you to do a sequence a day in your journal. Powerful stuff.

The Initial Sequence

The New Sequence

  • Situation (concrete): I’m scheduled for back surgery and was told that hardware will be put into my back.
  • Chosen Thought: I think I can learn to tolerate hardware inside of me. I can do hard things. I remind myself that “the hardware is my friend” and my surgeon, Dr. Heller, is a superstar surgeon at Emory.
  • Feeling (keep it to one or two words): Calmer.
  • Action: I don’t run around like a lunatic and get dramatic about the upcoming surgery.
  • Result: Best back surgery ever. I was in so much pain. And in 2016 Heller fixed it totally! Here we are eight years later, and I haven’t heard a peep out of my back.

Pearl Four

Books love us and want us to be happy

The Anthropcene Reviewed by John Green. This a non-fiction book-dessert; the essays range from Diet Dr. Pepper to Our Capacity for Wonder. Really interesting. The reader can tell that Green had fun with this book. Nice book dessert.

Pearl Five

Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”– Angela Duckworth ♥

If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, I would love it if you’d share with a friend.

Have a wonderful long-weekend!

♥ Wendy

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Breathtaking Springs

Losing Weight & Maintaining for the Long Run Is Not An Urban Myth

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Learning how to NOT light-up at a plate of donuts is merely a step to be learned.

A hello and welcome to our new thrivers!! You’ll get the most from the Inspired Eater site if you first read “Aunt Bea.” If you didn’t receive her, just shout! Wendy@theInspiredEater.com. The other essential read is Begin Here. I send out a post every Friday with five “pearls” that solely focuses on women losing weight after 50, 60, 70, and 80+. (“I’ve received a handful of emails from women in their 80’s! One told me that it never ends.”)

Hello to all the Thrivers who’ve taken my words and brought them to life. Putting everything within this website into play is impressive.

Pearl One

As you can probably guess, I lost 55-pounds before the new weight loss medications came out, but let me be upfront: back in the day, I would have been one of the first in line for a med if I’d had the bucks. Same goes for surgery. I’ll add that I was terrified of side-effects. No, not scared of side-effects like a responsible adult would be; I was scared of ouchies in any form.

Surgeries are fine too, but the two I’ve known to have surgery weren’t taught how to maintain their loss and ended up overeating eventually making the surgery null.

The conversation about maintenance – what I call “preservation” – is rarely discussed because nobody really knows how to maintain. I think at most they’ve studied maintenance a year to five years after a participant in a study loses the original weight, but they haven’t gone beyond that.

The only news on the maintenance-front comes down to studies like this one: “in a meta-analysis of 29 long-term weight loss studies, more than half of the lost weight was regained within two years, and by five years more than 80% of lost weight was regained.” (Study here.)

My theory is that to create a successful “forever-loss” for ourselves we essentially need to transform how we engage with food.

The bottom line is that you and I both know how to lose weight, we’ve done it many times throughout the decades. What we really need to learn is how to create a forever-loss.

Can it be done? One new habit at a time, yes. The post I’m linking here talks about giving up sugar, but the method works for any new habit you want to create: pearl one.

I will post more about how-to survive the first difficult days of creating a new habit starting with next week. ♥

Pearl Two

I’ve talked about this reframe before, but if you’re anything like me you need a friendly reminder. This is one of the most powerful reframes that I’ve used 24/7/365. You know how smart eating takes like twenty-five thousand micro-steps? All of the driving and picking up of smart groceries at five different grocery stores; all the measuring, chopping, baking; all of the inevitable swerves into a margarita and chips that “ruined everything” (it didn’t); or into Ben & Jerry’s and everything has “gone wrong” (it hasn’t) while navigating smart eating is supremely difficult? To almost be impossible?

Back when I began my weight loss in earnest – after my “moment of clarity” – I well-knew the massive effort involved with losing and then preserving a forever-loss. It dawned on me one day to call everything involved with weight loss and keeping it off my part-time job.

And bam! a simple title changed everything. What had been annoying jobs squeezed into the cracks of my day, became a supportable part of my life. I can report that there was far less whining and complaining on my part.

When I called it a part-time job, I’d elevated this trek we’re on – losing and preserving after age 50 — from being “a nice thing to do” to one of my highest priorities in life. ♥

Pearl Three

A sequence every week

A sequence from my life:

  • Situation (something concrete): my sister and I figured out how to facetime each other so that I can visit with my mom online (new readers: my mom is in the middle stages of Alzheimer’s and both she and my sister live in Tucson. I’m in Atlanta).
  • Thought: Fun at first, but then I realized after a moment or two that she didn’t recognize me. Shelby took us on a tour of our mom’s memory care home which I hadn’t yet seen.
  • Feeling: So incredibly sad.
  • Action: My eyes started to well up in tears. At my tears Shelby started crying. Then we both cry-talked for a minute, then said our goodbyes.
  • Result: It was late, I went to sleep feeling down.

New sequence with a chosen thought:

  • Situation (something concrete): my sister and I figured out how to facetime each other so that I can visit with my mom online (new readers: my mom is in the middle stages of Alzheimer’s and both she and my sister live in Tucson. I’m in Atlanta).
  • Chosen Thought: I’m into wild lions and I watch cute lion-family videos. I don’t watch the gory stuff. After I’d talked to my mom the next morning I wondered, “What happens to old male lions”? Same question for the old females. Trust me, don’t google it). There really is a cycle of life to every creature and while the early and middles of life might be fine, the endings are not always pretty. Everything that’s happening with my parents is just life being life.
  • Feeling: Call me crazy, but I feel so much better. By her standards, my mom had a very successful life. Now that she’s at the end of her life, she’s dealing with the difficulty of the dying process that we all go through.
  • Action: I plan to Facetime a lot more with my mom and without crying at the end of our talk and upsetting my sister.
  • Result: I feel like I’ve had a boost in my emotional-evolution. Children grow into adults and parents pass on (like Jerry Seinfeld says, “They’re here to replace us.”). Dying is just how life works. With that thought I feel better.
  • I’ll still well-up in tears when talking with my mom, but the lions helped me feel a little more comforted; a little less anguished. ♥

Pearl Four

Pearl four is an amazing book recommendation; not a review, just an awesome book I want to share

I needed to quickly dip into this book for another reason, but as I read I was pulled back into this amazing story.

The author, a Harvard-trained neuroscientist, had a stroke at the age of thirty-seven. She was just getting out of bed one morning when the stroke hit.

From her background as a scientist, Jill meta-watched her brain deteriorate in real-rime. My Stroke of Insight a brain scientist’s personal journey by Jill Bolte is excellent. (Her Ted Talk is one of the highest rated.)

I’ve written about this book before, and it’s still hard to put down. I stayed up way too late last night reading. ♥

 

Pearl Five

When scientists analyze people who appear to have tremendous self-control, it turns out those individuals aren’t all that different from those who are struggling. Instead, “disciplined” people are better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self-control. In other words, they spend less time in tempting situations.” — James Clear ♥

Give your fur-kids a cuddle for me. My baby passed over two years ago. I’m adjusting, but sometimes it feels like I’ll be sad forever. Thank the Universe that human beings heal.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, I hope you’ll share it with a loved one.

Have a phenomenal weekend!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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In Breathtaking Springs

This Metaphor Is My Constant Companion as I Preserve My Weight Loss After Age Fifty

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Pearl One

It’s Monday evening and you’re home alone. You’ve been losing weight at a great clip – always taking time off to “hold” and give your body time to adjust – but you know that your partner has cookies and cream in the back of the freezer.

And you want some.

I mean, it’s one bowl. No big deal, right?

And here’s what got me through difficult moments like this.

As I moved through my days, I saw making smart eating choices like I was working on a huge puzzle.

This is key I hope it makes sens. Let me know if it does or doesn’t Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

The largest pieces of our puzzle are these VIPs:

  • Finding an eating plan you like so much you married it.
  • Planning (with as much determination you can muster) your day, your week, your month.
  • Developing strong smart eating habits that’ll have your back during tough days.
  • Journaling (affordable therapy for every budget).
  • Offensive living (noticing ahead of time where obstacles will present).
  • Self-Talk (forever working towards being kind and supportive).

We keep the big puzzle in mind as we engage the medium pieces too.

A medium puzzle piece would be:

  • Ordering awesome books to be your evening book dessert.
  • You become one with carrying your cold-tote everywhere.
  • You’re a fanatic about tracking the food you eat each day.

Small — but totally change-making — are the many small pieces that fit into the larger picture:

  • When your granddaughter offers a bite of her donut and you say, “No thank you, honey.”
  • When giant muffins (cake) walk into your meeting, sit as far away as possible and have the banana in your purse or eat from your cold-tote instead.
  • When you have a really nice salad waiting in the fridge for lunch, but there’s cold pizza in the drawer too. With the big picture front and center you choose to sit down with the salad (if you’re still wanting pizza after the salad reach for cottage cheese, yogurt or an apple with a small amount of peanut butter).

We won’t have a place for the medium and small pieces to go unless we first put in the larger pieces. Can you see how vital each piece is? Each level of puzzle piece — large, medium and small — is vital to making the big picture work.

And what’s the name of the puzzle on the box? WHY? ♥

Pearl Two

I see it again and again; a self-help book will include “love yourself.”

What does “love yourself” even mean? Most of the advice ranges from “be more compassionate with yourself” – okay but how? — or to get yourself a pet. (I’m not making it up, a certain website suggested several silly ideas for developing self-love and one was “get a pet.” You know that I love animals – all animals, I’m not picky – but getting a new fur-kid doesn’t have much to do with developing self-love).

The term “self-love” doesn’t mean much to me, but self-respect, self-dignity and self-deep appreciation sure do.

My theory is that it’s our cavewoman who comes into the picture when we’re talking about self-respect. Quick review.

Our prefrontal brain:

  • pays taxes on time and our cavewoman is the one who wants to drain the savings and fly to Hawaii.
  • says, “I eat broccoli and brown rice — with a pinch of salt — every evening” while our cavewoman wants pizza, but will settle for a grilled cheese sandwich with extra fries.
  • goes to get sleep early. The cavewoman wants to read a good book into the night (“just one more chapter!!”) and prefrontal is a zombie the next day.

Journal-write about your cavewoman so you get to know her better. Ask yourself strong questions like, “What do you think about loving and caring for your inner cavewoman? “How do you distinguish between your prefrontal and cavewoman?” What do you love, love, love about both?” “When is it the easiest to flip from a day of your prefrontal being charge versus your cavewoman who goes wild with food?” “If your prefrontal was sitting right in front of you, what would you ask her?” If your cavewoman was sitting with you, what would you ask her?”

The wisdom will flow through the pen onto your journal. Keyboards work too! ♥

Pearl Three

A sequence a week

Once you get accustomed to doing sequences, you can do them rapidly like I did this week. But again I typed them out for ages. This sequence is from my own life.

The Initial Sequence

Situation (something concrete): my favorite news podcasts kept revisiting a topic in current events. Initially I refused to listen and kept fast-forwarding the show, but they continued returning to it.

Thought: I thought that the topic was just awful and I did not want to hear about it anymore.

Feeling: Rage, disbelief and determination to stop listening.

Action: My heart started to race.

Result: I was snappish with other people (and with myself).

The New Sequence

Situation (something concrete): my favorite news podcasts kept revisiting a topic in current events. Initially I refused to listen and kept fast-forwarding the topic, but they continued returning to it.

Chosen thought: I don’t need this information, but the more exposure – through the media — this problem gets the better. It’s great that the news is giving it so much attention. People are learning and that’s only a great thing.

Feeling: I felt pleased to think people would hear the story and make change.

Action: Kept listening to the show (once they were off the negative topic).

Result: Listening to the podcast and cleaning the kitchen. ♥

Pearl Four

Pearl four is an amazing book recommendation; not a review, just an awesome book I want to share

Well, here we are at Pearl 4 again. Over the week I went through a stack and didn’t find one book that I deemed worthy of being called a book-dessert.

My next plan when I don’t find a book I can recommend is that I’ll keep a list of classics that I’ve read and loved. Let me know if there’s a particular classic you love in the comments below.

As a young adult, I loved the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. Since I loved the strip, I gave my boys their own beautiful set that I hope one day they’ll share with their kids.

Funny enough, I find reading a Calvin and Hobbes book to be extremely relaxing. It feels so good to go to sleep in a positive, happy mood. The strip veers from so funny to so wise. I’m going to read them again tonight.

Order some of the books from the library or buy the set I gave my sons: The Complete Calvin and Hobbes. ♥

Pearl Five

You were born to win, but to be a winner you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. Zig Ziglar ♥

My book is a great way to have all of the smart eating hacks in one place. Keep it in your kitchen for morning planning. The Inspired Eater: Fed Up!

And if you’re enjoying what you’re reading, I would love it if you’d share with a friend.

I hope you have a magical weekend!

♥ Wendy

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I’m an Amazon affiliate. If you buy from a link in my post, I’ll receive money, but the arrangement won’t cost you a dime.

I am not an expert, a doctor, a surgeon, a nurse or a nutritionist: the information within TheInspiredEater.com is based solely on my personal experience and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. ♥

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