Did you see the movie with Meryl Streep — Defending Your Life — where she dies and lands in limbo featuring food with zero calories? Streep’s Julia happily slurps a plate of fettuccine Alfredo, plows through crusty bread and drinks incredible wine. Women everywhere we’re like, “OMG. Hope limbo exists!”
But here on Earth magnificent calories are everywhere:
- We watch coworkers inhale enormous Chipotle burritos for lunch.
- We see our family plow into bowls of cookies & cream after a lasagna dinner.
- And we’re besieged with porn-food: on commercials, on shows and movies themselves, and splashed across social media.
It seems like everybody gets to eat! All the time!
Except us. 🙁
Tough Love That Ensures Loss.
Thing is — after menopause — to exist in our food-wealthy world and simultaneously keep our weight down, we have to be dedicated to developing the necessary muscles to make weight loss happen.
To lose fifty-five — and later, maintain — I developed the muscles slowly over many, many months. Some muscles took years. And, let’s be honest, in the beginning my muscles were like over-cooked pasta.
I love how Seth Godin says, “take the long-cut.” Get it? Instead of trying to find the short-cut, plan to take your time — habits require time and conscious effort to truly embed themselves into our lives.
The bottom line — no pun — is that you and I must be smart about how we engage with food if we want to stay at a specific weight.
Best Question Ever to Ask Yourself.
As I’ve re-trained my brain to make smart food choices, I default into this question all day long:
- Do I want to be a size 8 or do I want to have pancakes on Sunday with the family?
- Do I want to be a size 8 or do I want to chow down on the (awesome) plates of Mexican food everyone’s having?
- Do I want to be a size 8 or do I want to dive into pizza with the kids (this last one was tough, but giving up pizza helped me drop five. Today I eat pizza twice a year, not twice a month like I once did).
Keep in mind that I did not use this question when I was wearing a size 16. I took my goal of losing fifty-five pounds one step at a time, so back in the day I’d ask myself: Do I want to be a size 14 or do I want to eat several Kit Kat bars?
Fine-tune this question to your life. Try one of these and see how it feels:
- Do I want to fit comfortably into my jeans or do I want BBQ?
- Do I want to lower my blood pressure or do I want an ice cream sundae?
- Do I want to be down five pounds for Thanksgiving or do I want waffles?
Do I Take the Question on Vacation?
My bullet-proof question is never off-duty. It works on special holidays, at work, for birthdays, and it does double-shifts on vacation. The deal I make with myself is that if I want to go on a trip, the question comes too.
Take last weekend, we spent three memorable days visiting my husband’s brother and darling family in Savannah, and I asked myself on the trip, “Do I want to be a size 8 or would I rather eat one of those gorgeous maple bars everyone is having for breakfast?” Believe me, I asked variations of this question a lot.
Back from the trip do I feel like I ruined our weekend by not eating the calorie-crazy food? Not even a little bit.
Is it Fair?
It’s not at all fair that everyone gets to have a daily food party, except for you and me. But nobody packs on weight like women over 50. Our bodies horde calories like we’re preparing for a long Dakota winter.
The habit of asking yourself this invaluable question does not develop in a day. Do everything you can to remind yourself to use the question: tape sticky notes around your house with the question. Create a screen saver with the question. Alarm your phone so that when the alarms go off you’ll remind yourself to ask the question. Tattoo the question on your arm (kidding, but you get the idea).
And don’t forget that it takes sixty-six days (based on the study I love out of England) to form a solid habit. Take Seth’s “long-cut,” you’ll see amazing results. And once you establish the habit of asking this important question? Keep it close to your heart forever.
I’d love to hear what Q. you’ll ask yourself!
And remember, it’s not just your imagination. Health is hard!
♥, Wendy
P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea to you right away!
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21 Comments
This is a better question to ask for sure, than, Should I eat this and then start my diet over again on Monday? Great read!
Hilarious, Gwen! I sure remember those days when I’d plan “to diet on Mondays.”
Ah, memories! Thank you for the sweet comment!
Wendy
Great idea Wendy! I’m going to start that right now! 🙂 Thanks for the great tip and hope you have a lovely long weekend!
It’s definitely a balance and I think that question is vital for its maintenance #alittlebitofeverything
Thank you!
Wendy
I totally love the idea of the long-cut. And it’s an idea you can apply to many more things than weight loss. I’m using to learn how to co-exist successfully with fibromyalgia.
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
I’d love to hear how you’re do-existing with fibro. The topic would make a wonderful post.
Thank you for the sweet words!
Wendy
This is exactly how I think about food, even though my husband and daughter tease me if I weigh food to stop portion sizing getting out of control. You have to find what works for you and stick to it – the longer you do it the easier it gets, it just becomes a way of life. Thanks for linking up!
Emma xxx
http://www.style-splash.com
Whatever you’re doing absolutely works for you!! 🙂
Keep doing it!
Wendy
Great tool.
I’m so glad you like it!!
W.
Some good questions? I don’t ask them the week before Christmas, I just accept it.
Thank you for linking with #pocolo and wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
LOL!! Merry Christmas to you and your family!!
Wendy
Fabulous post and questions Wendy. I visit you often because you bless me by linking your wonderful posts at Inspire Me Monday at Create With Joy (where you are featured this week – CONGRATS!) but I think I may have to treat myself to the gift of a subscription as well because honestly, I don’t want to miss a single post! xoxo
Happy New Year. Thanks for all you do! 🙂
I love your blog! Such an honor to be featured! Thank you so much!
Wendy
Great tips again, Wendy. I want to let you know how inspirational and helpful you have been for me! Your tips have made me think in a more structured way about weight loss and maintenance, and it’s really made me feel so much more positive. I started back on WW a few weeks ago, and I was really motivated to get back on the weight loss and exercise path in a large part because of you and your positive story and tips. I’ve lost 7 pounds so far, and I’m determined not to quit when I plateau (which I know I will.) So, thanks!!
Awesome to hear your news! Well, I still massage River at night b/c of Sunny and your husband. ♥ The WW program felt very comfortable for me. Seven pounds is fantastic!! And plateauing isn’t just an annoying part of losing, it’s one of the main ways required for success.
I’m so glad you wrote!
Wendy
What great questions to ask!! I am determined to do everything I can to meet my weight loss goal in 2022 as I still fell short this year and I know it’s because I do not stop often enough and think long term when I am craving something sweet or fatty in the short term.
Go for it, Joanne! It’s totally doable.
Let me know what your toughest moments are and I’ll write about them.
Thanks for writing to me!
Wendy
This IS a great question! I have made a note of it in my planner. With the new year I am trying to get better about my diet so I love that you shared this for me to read at the right time. Thanks for continuing to share every week. I look forward to your insights. Happy New Year! #HomeMattersParty
Hi Donna! I’m so glad you like this question. I use it constantly. It takes me out of Cookie Monster mode and reminds me of what really matters to me.
Happy New Year to you!! 🙂
Wendy