The Trouble with Grand Kids When We’re Losing After Age 50

What takes you out of boredom and to your happy place?

Hello Thrivers!

I don’t think I’ve fully realized until this morning how a simple question doesn’t have a simple answer.

Today’s pearls one and two are perfect examples. For the first time I bunched two pearls together and you’ll soon see why. I could have written a book on this topic.

Pearl One

&

Pearl Two

From a Thriver: My problem is when I go away from home. Everything is so controlled at home, but when I go to my children’s houses with food and goodies everywhere I become a hungry crazy woman. Leaving for one of their houses for a week and I don’t want to get off track. I have the best intentions and plans until I get there and then I’m eating ice cream or small packages of Oreos!

I think part of the problem in addition to the food in the house, is that I’m not in my routine so boredom sets in and of course boredom eating. I gained four pounds-however as soon as I got back home and into my routine. My note: this is a grandma who taking care of her grand kids who don’t live in the same town together.

This is an awesome email because so many of us understand the problem of kids and calories automatically arriving together.

Congratulations, B, on maintaining a “controlled” home. That’s huge all on its own.

Today we’re looking at how to travel and be far from your own kitchen, yet not pig-out and overeat.

Probably the most significant mind-shift any human being can ever make is to shift from an external locus of control to an internal one.

An example:

Let’s say you’re at a bash. It’s New Year’s Eve and the champagne is flowing.

A partier with an external locus of control might think: “I have one-year sobriety with AA, but it’s – come on – New Year’s and everyone is holding a flute. Just one won’t be a problem.”

But another person with an internal locus of control will tell herself, “After the year I’ve had devoted to staying clean and sober, there’s no way I’m drinking tonight.”

The internal locus is essentially about keeping your own council; not going with the herd; blazing your own trail.

I’ve mentioned that I’m a freelance travel writer and I’ve been asked whether I’m “good” or “bad” on cruises or trips in general.  

It’s a perfectly valid question, but harkens back to the yo-yo dieting of old. Living the Smart Eating Lifestyle is about strengthening habits or weakening them. We’re watching ourselves from a meta-view and making corrections as we go. So, I take my habit’s with me no matter where I am.

It’s a foundational mind-shift to take yourself from “I’m externally motivated” to “When it comes to eating, I have an internal locus of control.”

The Planning Mind-Set

If you haven’t yet become friends with food-planning, let me introduce you to her. I’d be nowhere today without her constant support.

Take a look at the micro-steps I use before and during trips. There’s an “after” too, but we’ll save it for the next pearls.

A week in advance of a trip, I plan on my laptop where I’m likely to find obstacles and – after giving it a lot of thought — how I will deal with each challenge. I write it all out.

So, B: you might write “when my grandson is out with friends,” I don’t have much to do and get bored.” Plan exactly what you’ll do in each boredom situation you identify. Remember, you’re not trying to lose weight on your grand kid trips, you’re maintaining/preserving.

I plan down to the detail like, “it’s a five-hour drive to the grand kids. On the way over, I’ll eat a sliced-up apple and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. To be safe, I’ll bring two peanut butter sandwiches and a baggie of baby carrots too.” Then I plan when I’ll eat each on the car-ride. Usually having one food item every hour keeps me in a good place hunger-wise.

This is a critical part of your planning. I also plan one fun-food that I’ll have each day. I could be a margarita at dinner when you guys eat at a Mexican or getting a fancy coffee drink in the mornings. Whatever the special food is, it needs to be written into your plan for every single day.

Re: “but when I go to my children’s houses with food and goodies everywhere I become a hungry crazy woman. I’m hungry with the kids and I get bored because I’m out of routine from home.”

Boredom and/or being tired are both like monsters from a Stephen King horror book. Don’t take the two lightly. Not having a solid plan for boredom takes me down every time.

Plan a list of what’s fun for you. I take tennis shoes so that I can walk, I listen to playlists I made in advance, I might sign up for Netflix or Hulu for just for the week. (Only don’t forget to unsubscribe once you’re back home.)

I make sure that I have a lot of my favorite foods within easy reach. I shop in advance or sometimes at the destination, but either way, I shop for the food I LOVE.

I also always bring my food tracking notebook and track my eating, just like I do at home.

But the key to making anything work is don’t let yourself get hungry. Ever.

One More Mind-Shift

This is definitely meant for journal time. We could ask ourselves this question for the rest of our lives.

Journal-write to the question: “why?”

Why in the world are you on this trek at all? Ask yourself to write answers to “why?” at least three times or more.

In response you might write:

Why? “Well of course I want to reach my preferred weight. I don’t want to get lectures from my doctor anymore. And I want the best health I can manage.

Why? “Because I want to be included in family activities, I want to be a fun grandma. Not the worrying-about-how-gross-she-feels-in-a-bathing-suit grandma, I want to feel good in my own skin.”

Why? “Because I was lonely as a kid, and I wished my grandma had had more energy. I just seemed to tire her out.”

Your brain is watching you. Every time you use smart planning and strong mind-sets. Your brain sees when you sees what you’re doing and thinks, “wow, she’s really serious about this losing weight thing.”

Pearl Three

In March I’m keeping pearl three for something fun that I want to share

Last week a thriver sent in the best idea for a crunchy (high-fiber, low calorie) snack:

Set your oven at 400 degrees.

Drain a can of garbanzo beans, and pat them dry with a paper towel. Place them on a cookie sheet using parchment paper. The garbanzo beans need to lay flat, and not on top of each other.

Spray the beans with olive oil. Let them bake in the oven for 20 minutes: pull the beans out and sprinkle with garlic and smoked paprika powder. Back into the oven they go for 10 minutes.

These spices work well too: Ranch, cinnamon and sugar, rosemary and chili powder. Thanks to Pound Dropper.com and the wonderful thriver who sent this tasty (MS) idea in!

I’m a cruncher; I love most anything when there’s a crunch. My review: so good! Especially with ranch. ♥

Pearl Four

So, here’s the thing. I had two books I thought would be awesome enough to be called a book-dessert, but when I tried to get interested in each one, they both just fell flat.

So, I’m suggesting this book today is top-notch based solely on following reviews.

About this book Stephen King said, “I would defy anyone to read the first seven pages of this book and not finish it.” John Grisham said, “It’s been a long time since I turned pages as fast as I did with American Dirt.”

The book was an Oprah Book Club pick and on Amazon it’s received 4.5 stars from 165,094 people.

I’m sold.

 American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins .

Pearl Five

“Have a bias towards action – let’s see something happen now. You can break that big plan into small steps and take the first step right away.” – Indira Gandhi ♥

I know what I’m doing this weekend: reading American Dirt. Have a great weekend Everyone!

♥, Wendy

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