A very happy thriver wrote that she took off twenty-five pounds and I’ll let “L” tell you the rest:

How amazing to hear that “L” – along with so many readers — is putting everything into action!

But my next thought? At this moment on the Smart Eating Path, being fearful is what we want. Being afraid of regaining the weight given our food-porn culture is the healthiest response to Big Fast-Food, Big-Food in the grocery stores and large-platters in the restaurants.  Maybe we’ve reached our preferred weight, but the world hasn’t changed; the “opportunity” to eat badly and in large amounts is still everywhere.

For about the first twelve years of maintenance/preservation, I had a strong sense of fear: what will preserving my loss look like this time? how will I handle wanting sugar every evening? what about when I’m grieving? and certain holidays are still so hard how will I deal with that? what about after a disappointing summer? and so on and so forth. I was “what-iffing” myself.

Turns out, being hyper-on-edge is our friend, at least until the planet makes significant changes. (It could happen, look what happened to the cigarette.)

I asked our thriver to pick which micro-skill helps her the most:

“The biggest habits I rely on are food-logging, weighing and measuring food, always have healthy food ready, the cold tote and eat before you go ( this really helps with all the junk my friends bring to game night and Bunco).  

This is so good to hear that our group is having success with the micro-habits (Cartwheel emoji, cartwheel emoji, cartwheel emoji!). Please send in minor, but pivotal successes, the hardest time when you overcame a difficulty or impressed a doctor. All treasured!!

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the damage Big Fast-Food does to those of us who want to choose our weight rather than being at the whim of external forces.

I’ve identified three forces (and will be adding a fourth).

  1. Big Fast-Food: know it well because it’s in every square-foot of our lives. Develop the habit — using the sixty-six days study out of England — of never eating fast-food. If you have no choice like once a year and need food: go to Taco Bell and order one bean burrito “al fresco.”

Best way to eliminate fast-food: always carry a cold-tote full of attractive bites.

So today let’s talk Big Platter Restaurant food which is also everywhere. This habit was a tough one to put into place because I’d invariably show up at a restaurant a little bit too hungry. Not smart. The problem if you show up hungry of course is that you’re more likely to inhale the entire plate of food rather cutting the plate in half and putting it in a doggie to-go container.

If you don’t want to eat more than half of the plate and can’t take it home because you’re on a ship or something like it, in a pinch I’ll pour a ton of salt on the remaining food so I won’t pick at it.

But the biggest win for me, was to eat food on the way to the restaurant so that I didn’t arrive super hungry.  A one-quarter cup almonds, a sliced apple, a banana, or a yogurt cup is what I tend to use.

Sometimes I’ve stood at the fridge and eaten straight out of the cottage cheese container knowing the Mexican restaurant is like five seconds from our house. If the restaurant were further away, I would have taken a cold-tote. (I’m the only one who eat cottage cheese in our house.)

IF you don’t have small, healthy food that’s in your cold-tote, it’s a signal to you that you need to make having small bites on-hand more of a priority.

The whole idea is to make your eating-life a bit easier on yourself given this forever-trek we’re on.

Situation (something concrete): A dear friend was my plus-one on the cruise I took last November. (Our kids grew up together). We had a wonderful time and I thought we ‘d deepened our friendship in those seven days. But in the months following, I haven’t heard a peep.

Thought: What the heck? Had I snored too much on the ship?

Feeling: Bummed.

Action: I don’t reach out.

Result:  A friendship withers on the vine.

Situation (something concrete): A dear friend was my plus-one on the cruise I took last November. (Our kids grew up together). We had a wonderful time and I thought we ‘d deepened our friendship in those seven days. In the months following, I haven’t heard a peep.

Thought: When we went on the cruise my friend had only been at her brand-new teaching job for about three months. She’s a high school English teacher. and very graciously asked her new supervisor for the week off. And she’s super involved in a cat rescue group.

The woman is busy.

Feeling: I feel compassion for all she’s doing especially cat rescue.

Action: I remind myself that not everything is about me.

Result: I send her a “just let me know you’re alive” email.

Are you doing these sequences in your own life? Do you find them helpful? Not helpful? Wished you had learned in freshman year of high school, like me?

Last month I featured Kate Atkinson’s incredible book Life After Life that I found just awesome. A quick rewind: We meet Ursula first as a baby. We watch her go through many lives before she completes a satisfying experience for her final life. I highly, highly recommend Life After Life.

A God in Ruins is Kate’s sequel to Life After Life.

The New Yorker wrote, “This follow [to Life After Life] tracks Ursula’s brother, Teddy, a favorite son who flies an RAF bomber during the Second World War and remains kind, thoughtful, and patient through a life of quiet sadness…Teddy, unlike his sister, lives only one life, but Atkinson’s deft handling of time, as she jumps from boyhood to old age and back, is impressive.” Haven’t finished, am loving. I leave it by my bed and I only read when I’m escaping the kitchen.”

So good, but long. Pairing these two books together over the summer make perfect book-desserts.

“It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop.” ― Dieter F. Uchtdorf

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2 Comments

  1. The sequences are SO good and SO helpful. For those of us that really struggle with black and white thinking, these concrete examples really help re-frame things. Please keep them up. Another wonderful and helpful post!

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