Nothing gets me up at zero dark thirty, except for this one thing.

Hello Thrivers!

Have you read the Aunt Bea booklet? It’s important to read her or this blog won’t make much sense. You’ll find her to your right in the box under my circle bio. She’s supposed to land in your email, but sometimes she ends up in spam. If you lost her just let me know: Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll shoot her right to you! ♥

Onto our pearls!

Pearl One  

Why and how to deepen your ‘why.’ If we’re not chewing on our ‘why’ several times a day, we’re not strengthening our ‘why’ and receiving the full benefit. We want to be one with our ‘why’ because that is where all the motivation comes from.

For example, I’m not getting up at 5 in the bleeping morning for any reason. I need my sleep without it, I’m a zombie.

Period.

Oh, right, except for that time when I excitedly woke up super early before the kids, packed the minivan with The Scarfer, put our two little Firecrackers into their car seats, and set out for Florida’s Legoland.

You see? I had a strong ‘why’ for getting up when it was still dark.

These days The Firecrackers are 19, and trips without them are my new ‘why.’ (Haha, I kid.)

But my current ‘why’ for staying on the Smart Eating path has changed a bit. Today my overarching ‘why’ is that I want to be as healthy and strong as possible for my future family: the grand dogs, grand kids, The Scarfer, my boys, everyone.

Which is a tough ‘why’ because working for something that happens years in the future isn’t that motivational for me on a day-to-day basis.

So, since my today’s ‘why’ can be a tad nebulous, I add a strong amendment. I don’t have health issues that are made better by sitting on the couch and watching Hulu (sadly), so it’s imperative that I maintain an active lifestyle.

(That’s another thing: what I once called ‘working out,’ I now call ‘an active lifestyle.’)

Recently a Thriver wrote and said, ‘We don’t have to work out, we get to work out.’ I love the distinction. How we think about an activity and what we call it forms the basis for how we engage with the activity.

The Takeaway

Journal-write about your ‘why’ and write long enough that you get down to the nitty-gritty on why your ‘why’ matters so very much to you. Plan to write (or type) for a while before the real gems come spilling out.

Journal-writing about our whys and wants and questions and frustrations is the most inexpensive form of therapy available – and quite possibly the most powerful. ♥

Pearl Two

A good question to ask yourself before diving into food: Is this behavior adding to my Smart Eating habit or subtracting from it?

Take me this morning. I woke up on time, had my fun little breakfast – see Brownies for Breakfast for more info – and all was well in my world. After two hours of writing I made coffee and proceeded to go on the hunt for something cake-ish.

At that, my prefrontal brain took over saying, no, you’ve already had breakfast.

So, then the cave woman in me replied, who would even know? It won’t hurt anything to have a cupcake.

Prefrontal brain: If you eat a cupcake now, you won’t be hungry for lunch. And that’s the deal: you can have what you want for breakfast, but you have to stop by 9 a.m. and be hungry for lunch at noonish.

My cave woman: Big damn deal.

Prefrontal me to cave woman: Ask yourself, is having a cupcake adding to my strong habits or subtracting from them?

Cave woman: Subtracting.

Prefrontal: Try playing with Max – our attention-hound kitty – for ten minutes and then see how you feel.

Ten minutes later: I don’t want to ruin my lunch.

And with that, the prefrontal brain is back at the command center. ♥

Pearl Three

In June, I’m keeping this slot for talking about the poison of perfectionism. It appears to me that while our culture — in public — trounces ‘perfectionism,’ in private it’s a whole nother story. We drive ourselves nuts attempting to be perfect. Because if we worry that if we’re not perfect a catastrophe will descend.

Perfectionism is dangerous because it worms its way into our Smart Eating lives in stealth mode; we don’t even realize what’s happening until perfectionism has become a way of life for us.

And getting a handle on our own perfectionism is no picnic. Our neighbors drive slick cars, perfect people are everywhere on TV and social media; our homes look lovely (as long as nobody goes upstairs) and so on.

I once knew a mom in our kids’ playgroup who wore her one-karat diamond engagement ring with pride. Until another mom moved into her neighborhood with a two-karat. So, guess what one-karat did? Yep, she started appearing with her own two-karat (attempting to be perfect lead her to buy the two-karat).

Given that our culture is oriented to having things and more things and more and more things, it’s no wonder that we’ve fallen into the perfectionism trap. So let’s not be hard on ourselves. The perfect (seeming) world is all we’ve ever known.

Beginning to notice perfectionism appears in your life is the first step to rooting it out. I doubt it’s human to entirely rid oneself of perfectionism altogether. Wouldn’t that be us trying to be perfect in ridding ourselves of being perfect?! lol!

Just start noticing when you’re being particularly hard on yourself and journal-write freestyle about how perfectionism has taken root in your life. ♥

Pearl Four  

Back in the ‘80s and ‘90s ‘the experts’ seemed to work overtime to find fault with coffee; they were trying to figure out which horrific disease or terrible disorder coffee caused.

Each time a new study came out, I held my breath and when nothing came of the latest study thought, phew. Made it through another one.

Fast forward to May 2022, and a study on coffee came out that followed a whopping 171,616 participants (mean age of 55.6 years), and reported phenomenal news.

Among other benefits, regular coffee drinking decreases cardiovascular disease, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease, Type 2 diabetes, and three cancers (colorectal, uterine and liver).

The Mayo Clinic recommends drinking at least two cups a day, adding that four cups – a max. of 400 milligrams – is even better.

Of course, this study isn’t referring to milkshakes bought at Starbucks, this was a ‘black or a teaspoon of sugar in your coffee’ study. (Yes, you read that right. If you like one teaspoon of sugar in your coffee you’re also good-to-go.)

So, that’s a no to Starbucks and a giant yes to home-coffee! ♥

Pearl Five

Be a warrior, not a worrier.” – Elizabeth Archer ♥

Below you will see my first foray into kayaking. Very, very fun.

I highly recommend doing something outside of your wheelhouse.

Have a beautiful journal-writing weekend, everyone!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

I’ve been asked if I could include something like Buy me a Coffee on the Inspired Eater. So if you feel up to sending a coffee, I am a devotee. You’ll find the coffee “button” to your right. And, as always, thank you so much for reading the Inspired Eater. ♥♥♥

One of my favorite parts of summer.

Photo by ShengGeng Lin on Unsplash

Hello Thrivers!

If you’re brand new to The Inspired Eater welcome!

If you haven’t yet read Aunt Bea you’ll find her to your right on this screen under my short bio. This blog won’t make a lot of sense without a thorough reading of Aunt Bea. If she doesn’t soon land in your email, she might have gone to spam. But if she doesn’t show up at all just email me at Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

Pearl One

The thing about great vacations is that they come to an end, sometimes in more ways than one.

So, there my husband and I were on the longish drive back to our home outside of Atlanta from our beach vacay.  

I should tell you, I’m not great with six hour car rides.

Bored and annoyed I announced at the first rest stop, “I need peanut M&Ms” and headed for the vending machines. (Yes, while giving the finger to my smart eating plan.)

My husband said, “No. I have a ton of treats in the car. There’s plenty.”

So, for that reason, I figured it was fine if I ate not one, but two crumb cakes.

At the second rest stop I mentioned eating a crumb cake and that’s when my husband put up his two fingers as in, two. You ate two crumb cakes.

At that, I hit the roof.

And we were off to the races squabbling about one stupid thing after another.

Many days later I began to see why I’d gotten so livid.

Turns out, my body might be 57-years-old and and leaner than I’d ever dreamed, but my brain is still a pudgy 8-year-old who endured awful comments about her body and weight from every avenue of life.

By the third grade, I’d learned that eating in front of people brought not-good attention.

That evening on the drive home, I wasn’t an adult with great eating habits, I was a chunky 8-year-old who assumed my husband was calling me a fatso.

This is a good time to tell you that the day before our drive home, my husband made a trip to the grocery store, but before he left asked for a food list for the ride. I gave him my usual apples, carrots and a healthy sandwich list. (Note to self: a bit of something fun to eat on a long car ride is cheaper than marriage counseling.)

Here’s the thing, I might be going on 17 years of maintaining a 55 lb. weight loss, but my brain hasn’t fully caught up with my body.

Our human brains are the most complex on the planet, and we can be triggered back to 1972 in a nano.

Takeaway

Remember that there’s a powerful reason to lose weight slowly. Our brains need time to recognize the new geographical layout.

One of the smartest changes to healthy eating we can make is to learn to welcome plateaus. They give our brains time to catch up with our bodies.

But also keep close to your heart that if there’s been trauma around food and weight, we might be lean and mean into our 90s, we’ll still occasionally knee-jerk react when someone in our lives is p***ed we ate his crumb cakes.

But at 96 years old?  Tell him you had three. ♥

Pearl Two

This is a fun way to lose/maintain after 50.

Take notes.

What do I mean? Literally take notes on a day-to-day basis about how you’re making it happen. Write about the many micro-decisions involved in losing after 50. Write notes about the wonderful, the totally annoying and the really reliable. Include inspirational books you’ve read, cooking shows you’ve stopped watching, more sleep you’re getting; write about everything.

Keeping these notes isn’t like journal-writing. Plan to one-day share how you lost/maintain after 50. As you go through your day of smart eating, document everything with the long-game being that you’ll share this valuable intell with the coming generation (who will – trust me – applaud you for not leaving them to reinvent the wheel). ♥

Pearl Three

Our July topic is habits: how to develop an amazing habit, how to dump a bad one.

I learned the most about how valuable cues are to forming a habit from James Clear’s book Atomic Habits. If you haven’t yet read this life-changing book, order it now, I’ll wait.

Cues. We use them continually through our days. You know how a flute of champagne today reminds you of a spectacular resort weekend from decades back where you had an incredible glass of champagne; how Realtors suggest you bake cookies before showing your home; or how holding a newborn takes you to the first time you held your precious baby?

The taste of champagne, the aroma of cookies and the feel of cradling a baby are all cues, and they’re so ingrained in our psyches that we don’t even think twice about them.

But instead of cues “just happening” to us unconsciously – I never knew why I was scared of German shepherds until my mom reminded me that I’d been chased as a kid – the habit-experts are urging us to use them on a super “on purpose” level.

Watch the Gems Spill Forth

Take a few to journal-write about the habits you’d love to establish in your life. (I deeply believe that journal-writing is the best and most inexpensive form of therapy I know.)

Ask yourself which habits you’d like to establish. Then write about why you want to establish this habit. Get super granular about your “why.” Finally, add a list of cues that will bring your habit to life.

My cues to establish a Pilates class habit: really cute workout clothes displayed on my bed pre-workout, the date of my Pilates class noted in pink on my calendar, and a specific scent that I use in the morning only the days of my class.

Let’s share cues. What cues on you using to develop your new habit? ♥

Pearl Four

You know how I believe that eating a tiny dinner will produce massive results? (Because it totally does.) Well, summer is the best season for giving the teensy dinner plan a go.

Here’s my summer go-to dinner:

I make a smallish salad with spring mix, petite carrots, baby tomatoes, and cucumber. I layer it in one teaspoon of olive oil – a healthy fat that I need, enough said — and as much balsamic vinegar that I want (Costco’s from Italy is OMG). And if I don’t have spring mix I make a salad out of whatever veggies I have in the fridge.

With the salad I’ll eat a medium sized ear of corn (85 calories, two grams of fiber, and 1.4 grams of fat). The trick being that I don’t douse my ear in butter. I use a bit of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” and/or a light sprinkling of salt. (What you’ve heard is true: the more you eat veggies without the high-caloric butter and sauces, the tastier they become over time.)

And I have – my favorite fruit on the planet – watermelon. Et Voila! By 6:30 p.m. at the latest, I’m finished eating for the day. ♥

Pearl Five

Really successful people feel the same lack of motivation as everyone else.  The difference is that they still find a way to show up despite the feelings of boredom.” – James Clear, Atomic Habits ♥

If you’ve liked these Pearls, please feel free to share with friends and family.

I kayaked again last night. I have two classes each month through September. Very fun, very peaceful.

Make it a beautiful weekend, Thrivers!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

I’ve been asked if I could include something like Buy me a Coffee on the Inspired Eater. So if you feel up to sending a coffee, I am a devotee. You’ll find the coffee “button” to your right. And, as always, thank you so much for reading the Inspired Eater. ♥♥♥

Please let’s forget the past the future looks bright ahead! Let’s live differently, riskier, happier.

Hello Everyone!

Welcome to April! As always it’s important to read the Aunt Bea booklet. You’ll find her to your right in the box under my circle bio. She’s supposed to land in your email, but sometimes she ends up in spam. If you lost her just let me know: Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll shoot her right to you! 🙂

On with the show!

This article first appeared in SixtyandMe.

Pearl One

I told myself, this time will be different. And it was, but only because I was different.

Here’s how it unfolded.

Like so many of us, I’d lost weight before – from kid-hood into my mid-30s – only to find the pounds pile back on again and again.

However, this time would be different because while – of course – I wanted to lose, my primary mission was new: I was going to figure out which habits I most needed to preserve my hard-won loss.

I was done losing weight only to go back to square one. Done. Done. Done.

My new plan – after doing a ton of research — was to train my brain to embed healthier eating habits that would last forever. And as I did, it became obvious to me that while we’re constantly admonished to “eat this, not that,” the so-called experts know little about how our powerful brains affect overeating itself; that whatever we put into our mouth is merely the end result of a sophisticated cognitive process.

I started to have a sneaking suspicion that changing our thoughts might change our results.

My Favorite Thinking Tool.

Of the mind shifts I made while losing, my favorite tool was what I ended up calling the Cycle of Overeating.

Using the cycle meant that I could pinpoint where I was on the pie-chart at any given moment, and thereby make a better intervention and – with practice – change the final outcome. ♥

Pearl Two

When I’m talking overeating I’m not talking about a slice of cheesecake after dinner. By overeating I mean binging an entire cheesecake after everyone has gone to bed.

Take a look:

Cycle of Overeating

The Purple Slice.

The purple slice represents our feelings (e.g., we’re thrilled, angry, disgusted and so forth). Some might have one feeling only that triggers overeating, while others can experience a bevy of strong feelings and head straight for the Easter candy (me).

As an example, let’s say that our trigger-feeling is jubilance. When we’re in the purple slice, here’s how our internal self-talk might go, I may have landed the job!! If I did, I deserve to party!!

We’re at the squiggly-trigger line when we receive the actual call saying, “You’re hired!!”

It’s Not Easy Being Green.

At that, we bounce into the green where we overeat because we “deserve” it: we might party alone in front of Hulu with a towering bowl of ice cream, or go out with friends and face plant into a massive margarita and entree at our favorite Mexican.

It’s important to note that overeating isn’t just an “at home in secret, alone” activity. We can also overeat at parties, restaurants, with the gang at lunch, at the movie theater and so on.

And Finally: Rude-Red.

After satiating a craving, we’re then hurled into the red slice where our powerful pre-frontal brains – finally awake – growl, what have you done?! We were doing so well on our healthy eating plan, and you go and ruin it. Don’t even look at me. I’m so fed up.

A very rude pre-frontal.

In response to our brain’s anger, we either clamp down hard on ourselves, expecting nothing less than perfection as we attempt to make zero mistakes on our eating plan, or we utterly give up (I’m done trying. Women over 50 just can’t drop weight. Wendy probably had lipo anyway.).

When we go the “perfection” route, we eventually give up anyhow. We might eat “perfectly” for five or six days, but when real life intrudes, we’re back to “messing up” again.

Days, weeks, months or even years later we again try a new eating plan only to hop back onto The Cycle of Overeating once more.

And on it goes. ♥

Pearl Three

In March I used this pearl slot to talk about using time for our own best outcome. In April we’ll talk: “Let’s Live Differently”.

How to Step Off the Cycle.

Leaving the cycle in your dust isn’t a “one and done” thing (I wish). It’s more the work of a lifetime: when we’re besieged by cravings here’s how to use the cycle:

• Become crystal clear about which emotions trigger you (if they all trigger you, that’s important to know too).
• Learn to identify where you are on the cycle so you can step in and create a new experience for yourself. (I’m super sad; I haven’t been triggered yet, but I’m getting close.)
• Establish new responses for your trigger emotions (it was life-altering when I realized that taking a page-turner to bed was more fun than inhaling Oreos in the evening).
• Developing reliable ways to stay clear of the red slice. When we beat-up on ourselves for being in the green slice (overeating), it’s like screaming and yelling, and expecting perfection from your fur-kids. You wouldn’t be awful to your fur-baby, so don’t be awful to yourself.
• I’ve said it a gazillion times: if being cruel to ourselves worked, we’d all be a size 4. When I have a green experience I’m extra kind to myself. I might buy flowers for my desk, do my nails or brush my kitty. Being good to ourselves will catapult us out of rude-red. Seriously.

If it’s seemed to you as if losing weight is super hard, that’s because losing weight is super hard.

But here’s the kicker: it’s okay to tell ourselves that this time we’re living differently. Forever we’ve been encouraged to look for answers to our weight issues in the wrong place (what we put into our mouths) when – all along – we had the glittering treasure that is our brain with us the entire time. (Sorry, didn’t mean to go Glinda the Good on you.) ♥

Pearl Four

Food! I have a gum story. About eight years ago, I’d unwrap a piece of sugary bubble gum in the afternoons and chomp it until dinner. Minimal calories. Seemed harmless enough. Turns out, full of harm. Chewing that gum every day for months, maybe even years (I can’t remember), and one day my jaw locked up. No pain, thankfully, but I’d given myself TMJ. Of course I stopped chewing gum immediately hoping that would help. Nothing helped.

It sure would have been cool to have one less creaking, cracking body part to deal with. My TMJ bugs me in particular because I can see directly how I caused it.

All this is to say, those small sticks or chunks of gum might look innocent and sweet, but danger lurks. Don’t be like me, stay vigilant! ♥

Pearl Five

Pay attention to your patterns. The ways you learned to survive may not be the ways you want to continue to live.” – Dr. Thema Bryant-Davis ♥

I have a request: if you’ve been reading the Inspired Eater for awhile, I’d love to hear your story. Which posts spoke to you? Which posts seem kind of lame? And if you’ve only been reading for a short stretch, I’d love to hear why you’ve jumped on board. I’d appreciate everyone’s feedback so much because most of the time it’s just me and the cursor. 🙂

My tiny wrinkled babies turn 19 this weekend. They want to have a picnic-dinner in one of their favorite climbing trees in our suburb’s downtown. Yes, a picnic. In the tree. I’m like, “I love you both, but I will be at the picnic table beneath the tree.” They might’ve grown, but they’re still kids at heart. (Staying goofy appears to be the foundation to a happy life.)

Make it a beautiful, goofy weekend!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

I’ve been asked if I could include something like Buy me a Coffee on the Inspired Eater. So if you feel up to sending a coffee, I am a devotee. You’ll find the coffee “button” to your right. And, as always, thank you so much for reading the Inspired Eater. ♥♥♥

Roses don’t bloom in a day.

Hello Trippers,

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you read the Aunt Bea post (you’ll find her to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, Aunt Bea will be sent to your inbox. If it didn’t arrive, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you! ♥

Pearl One

Last week my techie husband and I were driving to a new locale. At one point the GPS stopped talking, and my hub said, “Give it a second, it’s trying to get a satellite connection.”

I responded in a princess voice, “But I want my satellite connection nnnnowwww.”

As a culture we’re a bunch of speed-freaks. We love a good ‘overnight success’ story. We want our cars fast, and the car’s a/c to be even faster. We don’t want to wait long in the drive-thru, or if we do we’re likely to pull out of line — in a huff — to find a shorter drive-thru wait.

We like our light ‘at the speed of’ and we all carry a small computer in our hand bag that allows us to talk with anyone, anywhere, anytime with a lightning fast connection.

So it comes as no surprise that when diet-headlines and diet books have long promised, “Lose Belly Fat in Ten Days” we’ve had a tendency to believe them.

But if we’re to get down to bare-bones reality: cool, awesome and spectacular don’t arrive with Amazon speed. Nobody learns piano or a foreign language with a few months of practice. We don’t create a successful business in twelve months. And we definitely won’t lose anywhere near what the headlines have long promised.

And that’s okay because wrapped into the ‘lose belly fat in 10 days” is the message from the company: you need weight loss to be easy, and we need your money. Their underlying message: if it’s not easy, you can’t do it. Seriously condescending.

Don’t be swayed by ‘easy.’ Keep your cash, expect losing after 50 to be hard, and get annoyed at those proclaiming losing after 50 is effortless.

Because inherent in my message: We’re smart, we’re resilient, and you and I can do super hard things. ♥

Pearl Two

I turned a corner the moment I realized I had to make smart eating one of my life’s highest priorities.

I couldn’t just ‘hope for the best.’ I needed to make the decision that my food-life was taking a drastic turn.

There’s magic behind making the decision. One moment you’re you, and in a blink you’re walking into the next chapter of your life.

Turn your corner. Don’t hope. Decide. ♥

Pearl Three

In June, I’m using this slot for talking about the poison of perfectionism. It’s a funny thought that no matter how often the idea of perfectionism is trounced, the very notion of perfectionism continues to live on in our world.

Albeit quietly.

Meaning: are you a closet-perfectionist? You know, someone who – in public — professes to disdain the idea of reaching for perfect, but is always attempting perfection in private?

Here’s my take on shooting for perfect: we assume that others are better than we are. Deep down we worry that quite possibly we’re a defective human being so therefore have to be perfect to fit in. Apparently God made a huge mistake when He made our model. Everyone else has their lives ‘together,’ but not us.

Fabulous news: nobody has their lives ‘together.’ Everybody is moving through life like bumper cars.

In attempting to be perfect when we’re losing after 50, we’re setting the bar insanely high. Let’s be real. We’re human beings.

Of course we’ll slip-up on smart eating. Slips are merely part of being human. Expect losing after 50 to be tremendously difficult because with the right mindset we’ll tackle the trek with the best tools, habits, and planning. ♥

Pearl Four

If your sweet-tooth tends to run wild, do I have a smart eating hack for you. I found it on about a zillion different food blogs:

I give you: Banana — they call it — nice Cream.

Take a ripe banana, slice into coins, and freeze them flat for two hours. (Or freeze banana halves overnight.) Then whir frozen banana in blender to make soft-serve texture (I also add a splash of almond milk).

At one time I made frozen banana ‘ice cream’ regularly. You can be creative: add strawberries, coffee, peppermint, vanila and more to make different flavors.

So awesome that you won’t ‘need’ ice cream all summer! ♥

Pearl Five

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” ♥

Have a beautiful start to June. See you on Tuesday!

♥, Wendy

Our developing habits are as precious and fragile as a small kitten. Photo by The Lucky Neko on Unsplash

Does it help to know that you’re not alone? Because you’re so not alone; and just like a garden that needs to be regularly tended; how we engage with food is an ongoing endeavor, never a one-and-done.

I’ve been having just one heck of a time these last few weeks.

Take a look.

Pearl One

As you know, I’m writing a book. We’ll call this chapter: How Wondrous Eating Habits Can Tank in Just Two Weeks. I’ve mentioned that due to my veneers (braces), I’d bit the skin on each side of my inner cheek. It hurt to eat or talk.

Nothing worked, so finally I went on an all-liquid diet. You can probably guess what happened next.

My gateway drug were the delicious blueberry smoothies I’d whip up for myself daily. But predictable story, short:  My smoothies slid me straight into mainlining vanilla shakes: at DQ (three), Chick-fil-A (4), and Wendy’s (1).

I even told the scarfer to pick up ice cream at Kroger with no candy or nuts, because everything had to be soft.

Turns out, in those two weeks, I ate/slurped more ice cream than I’ve had in the last two decades total. I told myself that I had to drink shakes, that my mouth wouldn’t heal otherwise. And — jeez — I couldn’t walk around half-starved for two weeks. (My cave woman was running the show. See how wily she can be? When we’re justifying our unwise behavior that’s when we know our prefrontal brain is being completely ignored.)

Truth is, I’ve never been much of a shake/ ice cream person. In the past when we stopped at DQ, I might order a kid-cone or nothing at all. But sad for me, B. in Oregon mentioned that the small shakes at DQ were awesome and so I gave it a go and OMG!! (Suzanne Somers’s right: food is better than sex.)

Guess how fast my shake-ice-cream-habit took hold?

That’s right. In a fricken’ instant.

It’s amazing how programmed our brains are to suss out calories and consume for the long winter that’s coming. Our cave woman brain doesn’t know when she’ll get another chance to eat, so she goes for it in earnest.

Fast forward to today, and I’ve gone cold turkey off the hard stuff. I’m okay at home because I simply asked the Scarfer not to bring ice cream into the house.

But being the Pavlovian dog that I am, every time I get back into my car I’m pondering the awesomeness that is a a vanilla shake.

To be clear, my sores are long gone at this point. I can go back to crunching through my oatmeal bowl and salads, but I ask you: who wants to go back to that when you can have a vanilla fast food shake?

My point: I had eight shakes total and in that time I’d obliterated my decades-long habits?! Appears so. Great eating habits take time to instill and can be vanquished in a second.

But fabulous news, putting good habits back in place is way easier today than it was years back.

Smart eating habits are like a tiny, darling kitten who must be protected, nurtured, and appreciated. No matter how many sores are crying out for soft ice cream, give in and you’re allowing the cave woman to rule your life. Ask your prefrontal brain to come up with a better plan than ice cream for the sores. And — don’t underestimate her — she’ll produce gem upon gem of phenomenal ideas. ♥

Pearl Two

A friend who’d survived childhood trauma couldn’t shake it. I’m betting Princess Diana had it especially during her bulimic years. And at my heaviest, I definitely had it.

Called “dysthymia,” it’s the diagnosis given to someone who lives with persistent long-term mild depression.

Unlike major depression where you can’t get out of bed, open the curtains, or bathe, someone with dysthymia feels “blah,” nothing’s all that exciting or interesting.

The high functioning person with dysthymia looks great on the outside. She wears smart outfits to work, is good at her job; goes out to lunch with friends; and vacations somewhere fun when she has the chance.

And unless she confides in you, it’s unlikely you’d guess at how she’s feeling.

My point: losing for the long-run means addressing our trauma at its very roots. When we try to fix our eating issues by only examining what we put in our mouths, we’re missing the opportunity to make significant change in our lives; to invite meaningful growth into our world.

What I’ve noticed in my own life is that both mowing down the weeds, and pulling them out by their roots is an ongoing part of living a thriving lifestyle; merely part of life.

So I’m regularly pulling an old (or new) issue out by the roots, while simultaneously creating ironclad habits for myself. We can do both at the same time.

But here’s the complexity: we might have had dysthymia as kids, or teens or young adults (or all three). But today, let’s say that we no longer feel “ho-hum.” Today we’re very much looking forward to our upcoming Hawaii trip, to seeing our grandson graduate Kindergarten, and planting bulbs for a gorgeous spring backyard.

Life is good.

So if we’re feeling pretty good, why do we continue to overeat? Because we developed a habit that may have served us years ago, but that today has only become it’s own annoying problem.

If long ago the food-fix actually helped you through tough times, the fix must be appreciated and loved for all it did for you.

Journal-write about how the fix helped you back in the day, and how she affects your life now. Thank the fix for the good she once did, and journal about how to s l o w l y (or the cave woman shows up) create new habits that work beautifully for the person you’ve become today. ♥

Pearl Three

In August, Pearl Three is about habit formation specifically: self-talk habits. How do you engage with yourself?

Last week I was having a quick conversation with my husband that ended with him going into Eeyore mode. As in, “nothing good will come of this! How will we manage?? We’re melting, we’re melting!”

His angst was rhetorical, he didn’t actually expect an answer.

But as I turned away to do something else, I was stunned at what flew out of my mouth.

I replied, “I’ll figure it out. I always do.”

Thunk.

Did that thought actually come out of my mouth? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’ve been working on smart self-talk for ages, but I didn’t expect such a great thought to come from me unprompted.

If you’d love to better know your own self-talk, and how it’s affecting your weight loss, journal about the following:

• Is calling yourself “dense,” “a moron,” “dingy” a self-talk habit you’ve developed?
• What do you tell yourself when the best laid plans go south?
• Do you have the habit of expecting yourself to perform at the highest level, and then berating yourself when you can’t pull it off?
• Is “I’m such an idiot” a default thought for you? Why? Where did it first appear?
• Do you tell yourself that you won’t be successful because you don’t have the degree, the health, the brains, or the time to address something that’s been massively important to you for ages?
• Do you think you’ll have a more successful life if you’re hard on yourself?
• What’s frightening about talking to yourself with respect and kindness? Do you think bad things will happen if you’re supportive of yourself?
• When do you think negative self-talk became your go-to in life?
• What is one positive thought, you could turn into a habit by using regularly?

Discovering and addressing negative self-talk is like brushing our teeth: it’s a regular thing we do day-in and day-out. Be good to yourself internally and one day something amazing will pop out of your mouth too. ♥

Pearl Four

Food! A micro-tip moment. Of course, we order dressing on the side, but here’s how I keep it delicious: I dip my fork tines gently into the dressing and then spear my salad.

Of course, I don’t dip my fork into the dressing and pull out a glob of dressing before chowing on my salad. I make the tiniest of touches to the very top of my tines. Dip your tines on the regular and the habit will become your oh-so-tasty default. ♥

Pearl Five

Good habits are worth being fanatical about.”
– John Irving ♥

If you’re on the November/December Heath & Weight Challenge, two questions for you:

1. Are you writing your 15 sentences about something you really want in life? (Yes, I know this seems “out there,” but it’s not. Just try it.)
2. Can you stop eating after 6 p.m.?

Remember our goal is to embrace Thanksgiving and then the December holidays having gained health and lost — or maintained — weight.

If you liked this post and know someone who could benefit, please pass it on. A heartfelt thank you from me.

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

You know the scoop: I am an Amazon affiliate so if you buy something through a link at this site, I may receive a small commission that won’t impact your price at all.

Beautiful wreath at Notable Wreaths.

Dear Thrivers,

Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you read the Aunt Bea post (you’ll find her to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, Aunt Bea will be sent to your inbox. If it didn’t arrive, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you! ♥

Onto our Friday pearls!

Pearl One

The importance of an epiphany: ‘Something has fundamentally shifted and we’ll never be the same again.’ For so many of us, our epiphany re: weight loss came when we saw a picture of ourselves at a heavier weight than we preferred.

But an epiphany can be small like when I finally understood that I had to wear protective earphones when my son plays piano loudly; or huge, as in: it occurred to a friend at a gut level that she’d never get her dream job without a higher degree (her words).

I see our lives bursting in epiphany-wisdom in various layers throughout the years; one year we may get it that eating pizza regularly will forever clash with our health goals. While another year we might understand that cheese itself isn’t helpful to our smart eating lifestyle (which is why I call cheese a spice).

An epiphany takes time to bake in the oven. It can’t be rushed. We won’t have five in a week or even in a month. Sometimes they appear at the weirdest times (while cleaning the shower) or in wondrous moments (when beholding a rainbow).

Make room for the epiphany in your life. And the moment it descends write that beauty down because some things are too wonderful to leave to our over-50 memory. (Well, I’m just saying.) ♥

Pearl Two

First, a note about ‘success stories.’ While the thriver’s story today is about losing a significant amount of weight, I want you to know that success is also about creating a strong new habit (or dumping an old one), speaking up when ordering in restaurants, or sharing a new ‘aha’ in your life.

This Success Pearl comes from B. —

I’m 73 years old and want to remain thin, active, and healthy! I never want to ‘Go on A Diet’ again.

As a child: Mom was a good Southern/country cook and I was never a picky eater — but we ran and played and didn’t gain weight. As an adult I began to gain. My husband and I were child-free, and we indulged ourselves. The kids came later, but the habits were established.

This time I lost 30. Twice before I lost 50 lbs. (and gained all or most of it back). Every time I’ve been successful, I counted calories.

The hardest part was getting off-track at holidays and family gatherings, beating myself up and then giving up! I was so disheartened at losing seven then gaining it back over and over again.

The Inspired Eater gave me my new mantra: It’s a lifestyle! I have an eating plan, make sure I have healthful snacks in the house and write down every bite. 

This time I made a New Year’s resolution — unusual for me. I resolved to Just Count Calories and not fret about the weight. I made it my mantra and it was freeing for some reason. I guess it was the beginning of a lifestyle change.

My thoughts for others would be: buy yourself a steno pad. Plan what you’re going to eat. Write down every bite. Don’t con yourself. Don’t beat yourself up! 

I wish I had known that Dieting Means Temporary Weight Loss. 

My BMI is now 23, I’m at my lowest known adult weight and never imagined that I could be so. In fact, my weight is still inching down. 

I’m a licensed childcare provider. I cook good food for my little ones. My best habit is eating what I planned to eat. The negative habit I got rid of was overindulging in the foods I prepare for them and finishing off the leftovers.

I’m surprised that I have been this successful without a lot of self-deprivation or self-pity.

Another mantra: I am not a garbage disposal and I will never go on a diet again.

Well done, B.! It would be wonderful to catch up with you in six months! ♥

Pearl Three

Let’s live differently and capture it with a cool journal writing prompt. So much wisdom comes from writing about our challenges versus just pondering them. I write in my journal about something bugging me almost every day.

Don’t deny yourself this powerful method of discovery.

Ask yourself the following:

What lifestyle would I design for a dear friend who had an ultimate plan like mine (e.g. developing smart eating habits)? Get super specific and write about how an average day would go.

What would I want her to know?

What three things could she do that would make a huge difference?

What are three inescapable facts you know she’ll need to understand?

What would you tell her about the challenges that’ll come her way and what do you tell her about handling them?

If what she’s shooting for is difficult, what do you tell her about hard times and ‘staying the course’?

Now apply the answers to your own life and keep this wisdom where you’ll see it daily. ♥

Pearl Four

Food Alert! Five thumbs up on the yum-o-meter! I’ve written about these tasty guys before, but I “found” them again at Costco (meaning I’d forgotten) and want to share them with you (in case you’ve forgotten too).

They’re called Spinach Egg White frittatas and you get 20 in a box for around $14 (yes, they’re pricey). The words “egg whites” kind of freaks me out a little – not a huge fan – but these mini-frittatas are truly tasty. You’ll find them in Costco’s frozen section generally to your right as you enter the store; also near the bagged frozen fruit. (Calories for one single frittata: 70, fat: 4 grams, fiber: 1 gram, protein: five grams, sugar: one gram.)

The taste is great and the convenience just as awesome because we can nuke for a minute and be out the door with something delicious in our cold-tote. ♥

Pearl Five

Everything gets easier when you stop expecting it to be easy.” – Tim Grover ♥

With the three-day weekend upon us, design each day so that Tuesday-morning ‘you’ will awaken very pleased.

Shoot me an email if you’d like to be a success story. Oh, come on, brag a little! It’ll help the rest of us. Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com

See you on Tuesday!

♥, Wendy

Beautiful rings and photos by Lindsay from INDVapparel.

Pearl One

As I slowly lost 55, I was only beginning to learn how to put food into its proper place in life. No longer would it be a vast theme park where I’d regularly visit Lasagna-land, Cinnamon roll-heaven and French toast-island.

Somewhere in the late ‘90s it occurred to me that the person who became fifty pounds overweight, wouldn’t be the same one who lost and maintained the forever-loss.

Only one snag.

Unconsciously, even the mere idea of change freaks human beings out. Oh, I might talk big about moving from the West to the East Coast, but when we actually moved to Virginia? I was a basket-case.

Today, I love Virginia and miss it like crazy (we’re in Atlanta now).

Soothe Yourself as You Transform

Even positive change is a thing human beings rail against. And losing weight definitely means changing. I can hear you saying, of course I want to go down two pant-sizes. Who wouldn’t?

Today I’m sharing my top tool for calming my brain down as I lost weight.

Say a young girl is told for the first twenty years of her life that she’s a caterpillar. Somewhere in her late 40s she realizes that, no, turns out she’s not a caterpillar and thinks being a butterfly sounds more like it; that being a caterpillar was never who she was in the first place.

As she slowly transforms from being a caterpillar to a butterfly she’s heard it’s super smart to soothe herself with supportive self-talk along the way.

• I’m becoming a butterfly and that’s okay.

• I’m becoming a butterfly and “slow and steady” wins the race.

• I’m becoming a butterfly and the other butterflies will like me.

• I’m becoming a butterfly and I’ve got this.

• I’m a butterfly and being the best butterfly I know how to be.

The need for positive self-talk will never go away.

Simply taking a caterpillar and pushing her to become a butterfly doesn’t work. Too fast and all is lost. The caterpillar needs to be talked to often and gently as she transforms into her butterfly-self.

But cute metaphors aside, I knew that change doesn’t come easily to humans. So I used the same positive self talk as I was losing that I use to maintain today. Just like the butterfly. ♥

Pearl Two

Losing and maintaining “is a journey, not a destination.” Ralph Waldo Emerson gave the world this fantastic concept, and I just tweaked it a bit for our purposes. 🙂

Reframing weight loss from “I have to lose twenty” to “I’m developing ironclad habits that will have my back forever” is the aha moment we most want in our day-to-day eating-life. ♥

Pearl Three

The self-sabotage department where “busy” has become our get-out-of-jail-free card. Who has time to pack petite carrots into a cold bag for errands? I’m so insanely busy I can barely catch my breath. Eating “just has to” take a backseat.

Even though I know better, I also tell myself that I’m too busy to vacuum; too busy to work out; too busy to chop my vegetables for the week. Don’t your understand?! I’m just too busy!

I’m so busy that there isn’t time to live the parts of life that really matter most to me.

If you haven’t already noticed, I’m talking to myself here. ♥

Pearl Four

When my kids were little I had no use for Daylight Saving Day when we “fall back” an hour. It was very simple: more daylight equaled more park-time.

But now that my sons are older I’m taking a new look at this “holiday” that falls on November 7 in 2021.

This year, I’m hacking daylight saving time to my best advantage.

Here’s my plan: I currently wake up at 7 a.m. with the rest of the family. I would love an entire hour to myself in the morning.

Alone.

One hour.

So when we fall back an hour this year, my alarm will go off at 6 a.m. while my body still feels like it’s 7 a.m. (And, yes, I know I’ll need to go to bed earlier at night.)

If you could use an extra hour in the morning, join me! ♥

Pearl Five

Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.” ~ Julie Andrews ♥

Stick with me guys, with an eye towards maintaining we’re going to crush this holiday season!

♥, Wendy

P.S. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). On your cell you’ll see it immediately following the first post. After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

I’ve been asked if I could include something like Buy me a Coffee on the Inspired Eater. So if you feel up to sending a coffee, I am a devotee. You’ll find the coffee “button” to your right. And, as always, thank you so much for reading the Inspired Eater. ♥♥♥

A cool new habit can throw a bad habit off the cliff!

Hello Thrivers!!

I’ve returned from an exhausting week. Nothing bad to report except two very long flights. If I plan far enough in advance – Southwest can be booked six months prior – I’ll still get the great rate without the insanely long day.

I know, gas prices are bonkers, but if you’re going somewhere fun this summer, share your plans in the comments below. I love hearing about trips!

Onto our pearls.

Pearl One

It’s my belief that you and I are at the dawn of a new era where we crush the myth that women over 50 can’t lose or maintain weight loss.

Here’s why I’m optimistic: we’re beginning to note how invested our culture is in romanticizing enormous food intake.

Consider Carrie Underwood who came out with a new song last Thanksgiving called Stretchy Pants.

The lyrics go:

I’ve got my place at the table, can’t fit no more on my plate
I’ve got my fork in my hand ready to stuff my face…

Lovely.

And it would be lovely if our culture only chowed with abandon once or twice a year, but instead we’ve been habituated to think that every co-worker requires a birthday cake; November and December is about inhaling trillions of calories; and summers wouldn’t be summer without a freezer packed in ice cream.

And these days people wonder why so many of us reach for our stretchy pants year-round.

Attempting to maintain a loss after 50 is not possible without first fully absorbing the idea that our food’s on steroids and is being “pushed” at us every day, in every way.

The Mad Men behind the food products are paid well to create powerful ear-worms that do their duty long after we’ve heard a commercial. I know you remember:

Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce,

special orders don’t upset us…

Or:

Oh, I’d love to be an Oscar Myer Weiner,

That is what I’d truly like to be…

Food-pushers spend bucks on TV commercials, billboards, podcasts, print ads and the like telling us that our lives aren’t good if we don’t eat their burgers. So their ads encourage us to buy more and more of their product.

Because, let’s be real, nobody creates ‘hit us over the head’ ads for broccoli.

My point: when we struggle to lose after age 50, it isn’t a testament to our lack of control in the past that we’re down five pounds, up eight. Our food-porn world pushes calories the way cigarette companies once pushed ‘coffin nails’.

And then we also have the diet-industry that hocks ‘lose 10 in ten.’

Between these two giants — food-porn and the diet industry — we shouldn’t be so fast to skewer ourselves for not fitting into our size 10 shorts.

Understanding what we’re up against is required for our ultimate Smart Eating success.

The Takeaway: Start to notice the endless food ads in your life and design an entirely new thought-habit for yourself. Say, hmmm there’s another and another and another food ad. These food-pushers really are everywhere. I think I’ll count how many fast food stops I see on my way to work today.

And a supportive habit takes root. ♥

Pearl Two

For months now I’ve noticed that I use new vocab for living well on the Smart Eating Lifestyle. It’s occurred to me that a glossary of sorts would help new members come aboard more seamlessly.

I don’t have the full glossary created yet, but here’s a sampler of what I do have (and if you have suggestions for the glossary, email away!! Wendy@theInspiredEater.com).

Our Glossary 🙂

Ban perfectionism – Attempting to be perfect is just one more way that we give up on ourselves.

Bite-o-meter – How many delicious bites we get from a food. (Ex: salads deliver a lot on the bite-o-meter.)

Book-in-the-bed – Wonderful way to ditch the evening calories and chill before sleep.

Conscious deserting – thoughtfully choosing a dessert like these.

Cookie Monster – Going berserk and inhaling the highest caloric items we can find.

Contrarion – Living quite differently from the larger group.

Daily details – Setting ourselves up for success is in the daily details.

Distraction eating – Boredom eating is a sign that we need some excitement in life.

Dessert-book – The lowest calorie option for “something good” after a tiny dinner.

Drastic dieting – The old, unproductive way of attempting to decrease weight.

Errand companions: car-banana or my cold tote filled with healthy bites.

Feedback device – Our scales (I didn’t use when losing, but I do use to maintain).

Food titans – the people behind the mass, brainwashy food ads: fast food, grocery stores, restaurants.

Food tools – Actual food for our kitchen that supports our Smart Eating Lifestyle.

Maintenance – Protecting our hard-won losses.

Mouth happiness – Healthy food that’s fun to eat like cherries or petite carrots with hummus.

My tummy — A souvenir from the babies.

Smart Food List that we keep taped inside a cupboard. This important list reminds us how to fill up and get out of a hunger zone quickly:

• My blueberry-apple-oatmeal bowl.
• Small cup of yogurt.
• The whole wheat, one-teaspoon peanut butter and half of sliced banana.
• A hard-boiled egg on toast.

Snooze-food – Healthy, but excruciatingly boring food (e.g. the old way of eating).

Strengthening and holding – What we once called ‘plateauing,’ we now know is strengthening our current loss.

The Elaine – order two side salads and combine in large bowl.

The skill to chill – Working with ourselves on how we best relax vs. inhaling the kitchen (different for everyone).

The three E’s — Every-emotion-eating (or stress eating).

Thriver – You and me, our group living the Smart Eating Lifestyle (who understand that slips are part of the game). ♥

 Pearl Three

Let’s live differently. Visiting my parents was interesting. My mom has Alzheimer’s and my dad is taking care of her and I’m still stunned at how well my dad is managing.

That said, he practically embraces anxiety. He even said, “Well, we got everything done today. Now I need something new to worry about.”

It’s funny until you realize that he’s serious. It’s like he adopted a bad habit of needing something to ruminate about even when all is going well.

So, then I wondered, do I do something similar?

I don’t look for anxiety, per se, but I have caught myself feeling sad at times when given two seconds of thought deep-down I felt happy. It’s possible that somehow I feel safer aligning with the negative feeling assuming that if I feel too good the other shoe might drop. (I’m not suggesting this makes an ounce of sense. It’s another bad habit I need to break).

My takeaway: there are times throughout my day when I consciously tell myself, It’s okay to feel good. You love your writing (this blog). The kids are doing well. You’re planning a Trusted Housesitters (.com) ‘job’ for the summer. And the rug is vacuumed. Things are good.

Writing this message on note card and perching next to laptop. ♥

Pearl Four

Food! I’ve long had a habit of loving to read while crunching something like Cheeze-Its. And those salty orange guys don’t exactly fit into my life anymore.

But here’s what I can crunch without a second thought:

• Cherries – Late May to late July.
• Watermelon – arriving in June!
• Cut up peaches – May to August.
• Strawberries — June.
• Petite carrots – not a fruit of course, but a bowl of petites deliver crunch and sky-high nutrition.

This weekend you’ll find me at Costco filling my cart with fruit. ♥

Pearl Five

A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit.” — Erasmus ♥

I’d love to share your success story. Anonymous of course. And a ‘success story’ doesn’t need to be pounds lost. It can be establishing a new habit, embracing a new mind-shift or dealing well with a challenging event.

A positive habit, new mind-shift, or meeting a challenge is true success. Send your stories to me: Wendy@theInspiredEater.com.

I’m spending the weekend getting back on schedule from my California trip’s jet lag (made worse by terrible flight schedules).

Have an uneventful, relaxing weekend and see you on Tuesday!

♥, Wendy

P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

Did you see the movie with Meryl Streep — Defending Your Life — where she dies and lands in limbo featuring food with zero calories? Streep’s Julia happily slurps a plate of fettuccine Alfredo, plows through crusty bread and drinks incredible wine. Women everywhere we’re like, “OMG. Hope limbo exists!”

But here on Earth magnificent calories are everywhere:

• We watch coworkers inhale enormous Chipotle burritos for lunch.
• We see our family plow into bowls of cookies & cream after a lasagna dinner.
• And we’re besieged with porn-food: on commercials, on shows and movies themselves, and splashed across social media.

It seems like everybody gets to eat! All the time!

Except us. 🙁

Tough Love That Ensures Loss.

Thing is — after menopause — to exist in our food-wealthy world and simultaneously keep our weight down, we have to be dedicated to developing the necessary muscles to make weight loss happen.

To lose fifty-five — and later, maintain — I developed the muscles slowly over many, many months. Some muscles took years. And, let’s be honest, in the beginning my muscles were like over-cooked pasta.

I love how Seth Godin says, “take the long-cut.” Get it? Instead of trying to find the short-cut, plan to take your time — habits require time and conscious effort to truly embed themselves into our lives.

The bottom line — no pun — is that you and I must be smart about how we engage with food if we want to stay at a specific weight.

Best Question Ever to Ask Yourself.

As I’ve re-trained my brain to make smart food choices, I default into this question all day long:

• Do I want to be a size 8 or do I want to have pancakes on Sunday with the family?
• Do I want to be a size 8 or do I want to chow down on the (awesome) plates of Mexican food everyone’s having?
• Do I want to be a size 8 or do I want to dive into pizza with the kids (this last one was tough, but giving up pizza helped me drop five. Today I eat pizza twice a year, not twice a month like I once did).

Keep in mind that I did not use this question when I was wearing a size 16. I took my goal of losing fifty-five pounds one step at a time, so back in the day I’d ask myself: Do I want to be a size 14 or do I want to eat several Kit Kat bars?

Fine-tune this question to your life. Try one of these and see how it feels:

• Do I want to fit comfortably into my jeans or do I want BBQ?
• Do I want to lower my blood pressure or do I want an ice cream sundae?
• Do I want to be down five pounds for Thanksgiving or do I want waffles?

Do I Take the Question on Vacation?

My bullet-proof question is never off-duty. It works on special holidays, at work, for birthdays, and it does double-shifts on vacation. The deal I make with myself is that if I want to go on a trip, the question comes too.

Take last weekend, we spent three memorable days visiting my husband’s brother and darling family in Savannah, and I asked myself on the trip, “Do I want to be a size 8 or would I rather eat one of those gorgeous maple bars everyone is having for breakfast?” Believe me, I asked variations of this question a lot.

Back from the trip do I feel like I ruined our weekend by not eating the calorie-crazy food? Not even a little bit.

Is it Fair?

It’s not at all fair that everyone gets to have a daily food party, except for you and me. But nobody packs on weight like women over 50. Our bodies horde calories like we’re preparing for a long Dakota winter.

The habit of asking yourself this invaluable question does not develop in a day. Do everything you can to remind yourself to use the question: tape sticky notes around your house with the question. Create a screen saver with the question. Alarm your phone so that when the alarms go off you’ll remind yourself to ask the question. Tattoo the question on your arm (kidding, but you get the idea).

And don’t forget that it takes sixty-six days (based on the study I love out of England) to form a solid habit. Take Seth’s “long-cut,” you’ll see amazing results. And once you establish the habit of asking this important question? Keep it close to your heart forever.

I’d love to hear what Q. you’ll ask yourself!

And remember, it’s not just your imagination. Health is hard!

♥, Wendy

Three to 400 years old, we’re spring chickens compared to this thriving Charleston treasure.

Happy Friday Thrivers!

I hope these pearls find you enjoying a peaceful spring day.

A quick aside for our new Thrivers: Welcome! And have you read the Aunt Bea booklet? You’ll find her to your right in the box under my circle bio. Enter your email and she’ll land in your email, but sometimes she prefers spam so you might want to check there too. ♥

Pearl One

While so many of us stress-eat, plenty of us also boredom eat which is why it’s important to infuse our over 50 lives with fun.

And fun is different for everyone.

But first a caveat: I’m the last to blithely say, “Just have a fun life and you’ll lose 80 lbs.” No, that’s not how weight loss works, but as you and I continue to embed solid smart-eating habits, it’s important to add happy habits too into our lives as we go forward.

That said, I’m going back into braces. Yes, I know I’m 57. As a tween I had railroad tracks, but today my teeth are like tiny Leaning Tower of Pisas falling into each other. After my last cleaning my dentist politely said, “you might think about braces.”

So I thought about braces.

I then located an orthodontist I like, at a price I love, and I’ll be in veneers by mid-May. I’ll keep you posted.

Now it’s your turn to tell me about how you’re thriving.

Gems from our Journals

Share your version of braces. Tell me about what excites you most in life. (Magic seems to pour out of our hands when we write about our lives versus merely thinking about our world. The real action happens when we combine the two.)

What is the most fun you’ve ever had?

What do you wish you had more time for?

If money weren’t a thing, what would you do for fun?

What pricey thing – kayak, road bike, camping gear and so forth – has been pushed to the back of your garage, very lonely without you?

If you’re certain that you have little time for, say, kayaking write about how you might create time. List all of the way you could block out windows for fun.

Give at least ten answers. Be silly: Welp, I can kayak at two in the morning and forgo sleep. And then be serious: If I stop lingering over coffee on Saturdays, I could kayak then.

Come up with ten responses and be ready to marvel at what spills forth. (I’d love to hear what’s fun for you, please share in the comments section below.)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Take a look at the different ways we can bring more fun into our lives.

I have an acquaintance whose husband just went through a harrowing lung transplant and is doing beautifully today. This person learned so much about supporting the transplant patient (her hub) as well as the caregiver (herself), she became a life coach specializing in supporting partners and families going through the transplant journey with their loved one.

I know a woman who trained as a lawyer in her younger years, but gave up lawyering to become a midwife. Similar story but the mom became a doula.

Fun can span the gamut from sliding the kayak into the river and helping to birth babies to getting — oh, I don’t know — braces!! ♥

Pearl Two

Blooming as a Thriver. We’re entering a new era for women over age 50, 60, 70, and 80. Our over 50 lives won’t much mirror our grandma’s or even our mother’s worlds.

We’re living differently.

These days we’re busy. We’re maintaining high expectations for ourselves, doing hard things, and continually growing into the newest chapter of our lives.

We’re committed to a smart eating lifestyle – as best we can in our food-porn culture – by embedding five-star habits into our days (and evenings) because we’ve learned that eating well not only feels good, but also helps a plethora of ailments and diseases. And it sure doesn’t hurt the number on the scale either.

We workout because it feels so satisfying to have sore arm muscles after weight lifting or tired legs after a long bike ride.

We may not have maintained weight loss in decades past, but life is changing and you and I are adapting. Our losing after 50 trek — with the right mind-shifts and habits — can be a reality for us all.

Pass it on. ♥

Pearl Three

In April’s Pearl Three we’re talking: “Let’s live differently!”

Here’s how I’m living differently this weekend: I plan to keep a positive attitude, locate the silver lining when facing problems, and compliment myself at least three times each day on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And I’ll write the compliments in my journal.

Today I’m complimenting myself for learning to get along with my little sister. Shelley lives in Tucson and the two of us have had a hard time being sisters. But we’re now going on four years of no serious arguments. We actually both deserve a pat on the back.

I’d love it if you’d share what you’re complimenting about yourself today. ♥

Pearl Four

A reader wrote that she wished she could follow me around for a day to see what I eat and when. Yikes – like – no.

Those who worry that I eat perfectly at every meal, these next sentences are for you.

While I’ve given up evening sugar, I still have fun food with my morning coffee. Today I spotted a leftover snack package of Almond Joys that didn’t make into a care package.

Huh.

Okay maybe I went a little bonkers on the AJs (sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t). I love coconut. And coconut with chocolate and coffee? I’m in. I washed the AJs down with leftover Peeps (no, I won’t say how many I ate – I do have some dignity to maintain – but I can share that they were pink).

I hope you’ll join me in kicking the evening sugar habit. It wasn’t easy initially, but the longer I went the no-sugar route the easier it became. Today when I think about having a handful of peanut M&Ms after dinner, I automatically remember my no-sugar track record and think, no bleeping way am I blowing fourteen months now. The hardest part of going no-sugar in the evenings is over the first two weeks. It really does get easier the longer you work to instill no sugar after dinner.

Back to our smart eating path.

The healthy foods I’m into at the moment:

Hard-boiled eggs. Low in calories, high in protein, and they’re quick to grab on the run too. Ideal little snack.

Greek yogurt, plain flavor. Also low in calories and high in protein. And once you get used to the taste delicious with grapes.

Now is a great time for a Costco run to pick up fresh fruit.

Costco also carries a fantastic bag of frozen veggies called Stir-Fry Vegetable Blend that you’ll find in the refrigerated section of Costco where they keep butter and eggs. I lightly heat a teaspoon or two of olive oil in a skillet and throw two handfuls of the veggies into the oil and heat them up. Then I add brown rice.

After I pour the veggies and rice into a bowl, I add low-salt soy sauce. Yum, and a great way to get your veggies.

What foods are you into these days? ♥

Pearl Five

A dear friend played an active role in planting seeds in honor of our friends in Ukraine. The group had a sign up with a quote I thought you’d love (and it definitely goes with our thriving theme).

They said they would bury us, they didn’t know we were seeds.” ♥

Get sweaty this weekend!! (The endorphins are a feel-amazing cocktail. Let’s get tipsy on endorphins together!)

♥, Wendy

P.s. Are you new to the Inspired Eater? Welcome!! This blog won’t make much sense until you first read the Aunt Bea post (and you’ll find Aunt Bea on this page to the right under my short bio). After you enter your email address, the Aunt Bea article will be sent to your email’s inbox. If it’s not there, you might check the spam folder. And always feel free to email me at Wendy@TheInspiredEater.com and I’ll get Aunt Bea right to you!

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